Roswell Fanatics

part 10


Chipsflikan: No, this is not a UC fic. I’m 100% Dreamer. I just added Kyle to make it a bit more interesting. That’s it. No worries though, I have it all worked out in my head!

Liz laid Hannah down after double-checking her Apnea Monitor. She returned to her bed quietly. It was one in the afternoon and she was exhausted. Amy had helped her out a bit during the night but Liz had insisted on doing it completely on her own without any help.

The house was silent except for Kyle who was down the hall. Amy was down at the Social Services office getting papers signed and ready so when it was time for Hannah to go into her care, it wouldn’t take very long.

She crawled into the bed and tried to relax. It still was uncomfortable to lie on her stomach. On her bed she loved to lie on her stomach, on the floor it was her back.

She shifted pillows around and moved sheets. She changed clothes once. She pulled out more birth announcement cards. She could only do one in the hospital because she was tired. Now she really didn’t have anything else to do.

“Hey.” There was a knock on the door.

She looked up startled. “Hey, Kyle. Come on in.”

“Sorry to startle you, where’s the little one?”

“Asleep.” She nodded towards the crib.

He went over and looked at the sleeping baby. “She’s tiny, but she doesn’t look any different from any of my mother’s other babies, except she’s cuter.”

“Thank you.” Liz glowed with pride. “Are you having trouble resting?”

“Yeah, I’m used to being on my stomach.” She said shyly.

“Oh, that could be a problem.” He glanced down at her stomach.

“Yes, it does pose one. I need to get used to not having things my way.” She shrugged.

“Mind if I sit?” He motioned towards the bed.

“Sure.” She scooted over making room for him on the bed.

He leaned against the headboard.

“So what are you doing at home this time of day?” She asked to keep a conversation going.

”I had things to do here.”

“Oh.” She shifted towards him for some unknown reason.

“You look exhausted. What time will she wake up again?”

Liz flicked her eyes to the clock. “An hour in a half.”

“You can rest until then.” He gently pulled her closer to him.

“No, I’ll do it on my own.” She protested.

“No, come here, rest.” He guided her head onto his shoulder. “We’ll finish these birth announcements shall we?” He picked up the pen. “What’s her full name.”

Liz recited the information until she gently lulled herself to sleep.

Kyle smiled and pulled out the book from his back pocket. He moved as little as possible as Liz slept peacefully.

Liz woke up to someone nudging her awake.

“Yeah?”

”Someone’s hungry.” He held Hannah to Liz.

“Oh.” She was suddenly awake. She sat up straighter against the headboard.

”I’ll leave you two be.” He smiled a kind smile happy with himself. “She’s beautiful, Liz. Like her mother.”

“Thank you.” Liz said not realizing his last comment. He gently shut the door behind him and went on with his work.

****

Max anxiously opened the envelope. Isabel had given it to him saying it was from Liz. Max looked at the contents and froze.

This was his daughter. His baby girl. Hannah.

He read over the birth announcement:

Name: Hannah Bella-Marie Parker
Date: November 4, 2002
Weight: 5 Pounds, 6 Ounces
Length: 18 inches
Mother: Elizabeth Parker
Father: ------

Max’s hands shook. The writing was far from Liz’s neat precise writing. Father’s name had not been filled in. Maybe it didn’t deserve to be there.

His daughter was small, she was healthy looking for being a month early. She had dark curly hair on her head. He knew that it would straighten after Liz cut it for the first time. Both he and Liz had curly hair as young kids but had lost them over time. Her eyes were dark and deep. Her face round. He was suddenly aching to hold his daughter, and Liz in his arms.

He dumped out the rest of the contents of the envelope.

His eyes teared up when he saw it was pictures of Liz with the baby a few days after the birth. There was a look of pure exhaustion on Liz’s face. She was smiling and carefully cradling her small bundle. There was another picture. She was not aware the picture was being taken. She was staring down at Hannah total love in her eyes. She was stroking a finger across her cheek.

“Max, are you OK?” His mother asked. He was sitting at the kitchen table.

“Look.” He held up the birth announcements. The other pictures were for him and him alone.

“Oh, isn’t she cute?” Mrs. Evans took it from him. “That’s my granddaughter. We have to put it on the refrigerator.” She went to hang it up.

“No, Mom, it’s not going up.” He removed it from her hands. “It’s going in my room.”

“But, Max, it’s my granddaughter.”

“Obviously. You didn’t think about that seven months ago when we told you. You forced her to leave, Mother. No, her picture is not going up on your refrigerator.”

“Isabel will want to see.”

“Isabel has her own. Good Evening, Mother.” He took the pictures from the table and stalked angrily up to his room. He knew inside that he didn’t even deserve to have her picture. He had forced Liz to leave as well.

****

“Kyle, will you watch her for a few minutes?” Liz handed him Hannah. “I want to make sure we have everything before I go, and I need to find Maria.”

“Of course.” He cradled her gently in his arms. “Hey.”

“Hello, Kyle. Thank you for holding my baby.” Alex walked in the door and scooped Hannah away.

“Hey, I was holding her.” Kyle crossed his arms. “This is my house and I didn’t say you could come in.”

”Fine, don’t cry.” Alex handed her back. “Remember at the end of this week, I get to live with her.” Alex smiled. “And Maria’s right behind me, it’s her house, she said I could come in.”

“Thank you.” Kyle accepted the baby back.

“If you two can’t behave around that child, I’m going to take her away from both of you permanently.” Maria rushed in the door. “You both grew up with babies, they’re fragile.”

”Alright, Maria come on.” Liz said. “I’ll take her back now.” Liz stood on tiptoes to take her daughter back. “Thank you.”

”Adieu, Hannah.” He said quietly.

Liz smiled at him and placed her in her seat. “Alright, we’ll see you guys later.’

Maria held the door open and they were off to the doctor’s office.

****

Liz returned to the doctor with a screaming Hannah.

“Hey.” Kyle held the door open.

“Hello, Kyle.” She said quickly and removed the baby from the seat and rushed back to her room to feed her.

“Move out of the way.” Maria barged through the door.

“What? You don’t have a baby, little sister.” He grabbed her and pecked her cheek.

“No, Kyle, you can ask her out yourself.” She pushed him away.

“No, for once, I was just saying hi, although it wouldn’t be a bad idea.” He smiled.

”Kyle, leave her alone. The father of her child left her alone pregnant. Give her time to adjust to being a mother then, when she’s secure, you can go for it. Only when she’s secure.” Maria pecked him on his cheek and went to check on Liz and Hannah.

Kyle knew that he had to wait a little while to date Liz. That didn’t need any telling, she wasn’t ready. But it wouldn’t hurt to ease her into the idea, would it?

TBC

I'm fastforwarding a little bit so we can get on with the reunion but there are some necessary parts that need to be written. I'm moving to get to the reunion as fast as possible. It's coming soon. Not much more. I think.



“Alright, Hannah, sit up like a good girl for Mama.” Liz held her daughter straight.

She moved her hands away and Hannah tipped over with a squeal. She landed safely in Liz’s arms.

“She’ll never learn if you don’t let her fall.” Maria said standing in the doorway. “Watch.”

Maria sat her up once again and held Liz back so she couldn’t catch her. “She’s gonna fall.” Liz protested.

“That’s the point.” Moving away Hannah squealed before landing with a flop onto the bed.

She was silent for a minute before blinking. Her faced scrunched up and turned red.

Liz picked her up before too long, instantly she settled down and started squealing and giggling again.

“Now sit her back up again.” Maria instructed.

Looking at Maria Liz set her on the bed. She steadied her before moving her hands away.

Hannah stiffened her back when Liz let go and kept herself from falling.

Liz clapped and Maria smiled. Hannah squealed, giggled and tipped. Before she could cry her hands caught her attention and she proceeded to chew on them.

“What’s all that yelling about?” Alex walked in.

“Look, Alex.” Liz held her daughter up in the sitting position and demonstrated to Alex what she could do.

Because of her excitement she fell over immediately.

“I’ll show you later.” Liz said picking her up.

"Can I take her to the park?" Alex asked.

"No, not right now." Liz smiled.

“She wants to go to the park, she told me she did.” Alex said taking her from Liz.

“No, Alex, not right now, it’s nap time.” Liz smiled at Alex. “When she wakes up, you can take her to the park.” Liz promised.

“Oh, come on, Liz, she’s not hungry or tired.” Alex protested.

“Alex, she’s six months old. She is hungry, because her mother feels like she’s going to burst.” Liz said patiently while taking Hannah from Alex.

She sat in her rocker which she had fallen in love with during the long nights awake.

“She’ll be awake in an hour if you wanna come back then.” Liz told them. “I’m going to feed her, Alex.” Liz warned.

It made him uncomfortable when she nursed Hannah so she always warned him before she did.

“I’ll be back in an hour.” He said before retreating back to his room.

“He’s so besotted with her.” Maria smiled throwing herself across Liz’s bed.

“I know.” Liz smiled.

“Did you get the waiver confirmations?” Maria asked.

“Yeah, I got them yesterday.” Liz rocked her slowly.

“Can he find you?” Maria asked curious about the man who was Hannah’s father.

“If he wanted to, he would find us.” Liz told her. “If he really wanted to, he could, Maria, and that what worries me.”

****

”Max, what are you doing?” Diane asked. It was two in the morning.

“Studying.” He said not looking up.

“At this rate you’ll have your own firm in a little more than two years.”

”That’s my intention.” He told her.

“Where do you plan on starting one?” She asked sitting down.

“California.”

****

Liz sat with Hannah in her lap when Kyle walked into the room.

Hannah let out a squeal of delight.

“Hey, Liz. Why do you look so down?” Kyle sat across from her.

“Because we have a heart appointment today.”

“That should be a good thing, shouldn’t it?” He asked unsure.

“Yes, they might take her off the night monitor.” Liz handed Hannah to Kyle so that the poor baby would stop straining. “What are you doing here, Kyle?” She asked.

“Maria told me to come over and check up on you.” He shrugged.

He said something to Hannah in French.

“What’d you say?” Kyle always did that.

“I asked her if she’d been a good girl, that’s all.” He said smiling.

“She’s going to know more French than English. Does you mother speak French?”

”Yeah, and so does Maria but she chooses not to. My dad taught her when she was younger she likes to pretend she doesn’t know it.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Why does Maria do anything?”

“Good point.”

“Hey, don’t talk about me guys.” Maria bounced into the room. “Liz, I can’t make it to the appointment. I have to go somewhere with my mother.” Maria said apologetically.

“It’s alright.” Liz said looking down at her hands. She hated going to the appointments alone. It made her want to contact Max. She knew she couldn’t do that.

In a way she knew that he had a right to know there was something wrong with own daughter. But then he really shouldn’t care because he was willing to give her away to strangers.

“I can go with her.” Kyle perked up. “If you don’t mind, Liz.”

Maria smiled proudly at herself.

“Sure, if you would, that would be really nice.” Liz said relieved.

“Alright, when’s the appointment?”

“In a half hour, we have to leave now.” Liz stood up. “Hannah’s ready.”

“Alright.” Kyle laid her in her seat and buckled her in while mumbling something to her in French.

“Kyle, please.” Liz said with annoyance.

“Hey it’s good that she learns two languages.”

“Sure, make it one I know. I don’t need a teenager who can curse me out in two languages.”

“I can teach it to you.” He said helpfully.

“Really?”

‘yes, it wouldn’t be a problem.” He smiled.

“Fine you can teach me.” She said before walking out the door sure he would follow with Hannah.

****

Liz sat quietly in the waiting room. Hannah chirped away happily.

The other mothers watched Hannah most heart patients were quiet, unable to breathe easily while silent.

Hannah had a need to be loud and nothing could be done to quiet her when she was happy. When she was in church she was just as loud.

“You seem sad, she seems to be perfectly happy.” Kyle said observing the two.

“Yeah, she just thinks it’s fun to be somewhere different.” Liz smiled at her daughter who let out a shriek when her mother smiled.

“Ms. Parker.” The MA called out. Kyle picked up the carrier and followed Liz into the back.

Within a few moments the doctor was in. “Hello, Kyle, surprise to see you here.” He smiled. “I’ve studied Hannah’s chart readings from the monitor It seems she is ready to come off at night.” He said.

Liz looked panicked.

“Don’t worry, everything will be fine, you won’t even be able to tell the difference.” He smiled.

“Just keep her the way you have been and she’ll be fine.”

Liz nodded. Hannah was quiet for once studying the doctor.

“She’s a quiet one.” He said smiling at the baby.

Kyle hid a smile and Liz stared at the doctor like he was crazy. “Not really. She usually jabbers non-stop when she’s awake, she’s just being quiet right now.”

As if to prove her mother correct, Hannah let out a loud squeal and giggled. Then she began talking and mumbling nonsense.

“Told you.” Liz winced at the high pitched sound.

“Does she get blue at all when she does that for a while?”

“Nope.” Liz said. “She never seems out of breath either.”

The doctor smiled brightly. “That’s great, that means it’s not near as serious as it could be.”

Liz beamed.

“She’s on baby food correct?”

“Yes.” Liz nodded.

“We have a new medicine. It’s in a small yogurt container. It tastes like yogurt. What it does, on some children is it helps the heart to patch itself back up. We can try it. The worst that can happen is that it won’t work to the full effect but the surgery would then only be minor. Just make sure she gets one full container a day. They’re not very big.”

“We can try it.” She nodded open to anything that might prevent a surgery.

“Great, I’ll right a prescription. Any questions, Kyle?” He turned to him. “Oh, I just got a call, you’re to be my intern next month.”

Kyle smiled. “Great.”

“Is that it?” Liz stood and put Hannah back in her seat.

“Yes.” Give me a call if she likes the yogurt.” The doctor said shaking her hand.

The doctor mumbled something in French to Kyle. Liz let out a frustrated sigh. She was going to learn French and she was going to learn it fast.


TBC

Part 12

Hannah followed quietly behind Liz on sturdy little legs.

“Mama.” Hannah laid her head against her pant leg when they reached the stairs leading up to their apartment.

Liz looked down and smiled at her daughter. Hannah held her arms up for her mother to pick her up.

Liz frowned as she bent down to pick her up. Hannah’s energy level had gone down the past few weeks.

“You ok?” Liz asked before setting her down on the ground in the apartment. Maria and Alex weren’t home yet. They were out with their old roommate, Serena.

Instead of running off to find toys as she normally did, she stayed by Liz.

“What’s wrong?” Liz looked down at her daughter.

She smiled and held her hands up.

Liz picked her up and went over to her chair to sit down.

“You wanna read a book?”

She shook her head no and just snuggled into Liz. Liz stroked her still curly hair. She was reluctant to cut it. It was only curly at the tips and when it was cut she knew it would be as straight as her own hair.

Liz picked up her own reading book and opened it up to where she was before.

Hannah sat quietly sucking her thumb while her mother read.

Sometime while she was reading Hannah slipped from Liz’s lap and went to her diaper bag and retrieved a bottle.

Somewhere around eight months Hannah had found it a lot more enjoyable to be able to look around while eating so Liz had to switch to bottles.

“Where’d you get that?” Liz asked surprised when she crawled back into her lap, bottle tucked securely under her arm.

Hannah smiled and relaxed once again against Liz.

“Knock, knock, Liz. We’re home.” Maria called softly from the door.

“She’s awake, Maria.” Liz called.

“Aunt Mwia!” Hannah shouted.

“Hello, Hannah.” Maria greeted back. “Liz. I would like you to meet our friend, Serena.”

Liz stood up to greet the new girl. Hannah tossed her bottle behind the chair and followed Alex into the back.

“Hello.” Liz smiled warmly.

“Hello.” Serena greeted. She had a slight southern accent to it. The girl was taller than her and had strawberry blonde hair. Light freckles dusted across her nose and she had bright green eyes.

“That was my daughter, Hannah, she likes to be wherever Alex is.” Liz chuckled.

“Yeah, I understand her feelings.” Serena nodded. “He’s a fun guy to be around.”

”Hannah thinks so.”

“You enjoy the apartment?” Serena asked.

“Yeah. What are you doing now?” Liz asked.

“I’m actually attending Berkeley so I had to move out of here. I’m glad you moved in.”

”Liz?” Maria called from the kitchen. “Serena’s gonna stay for dinner so I’m gonna go ahead and start?”

“Fine, Kyle’s coming over too. He’s gonna stop by before he has to go to work.”

Serena froze. “Kyle?”

Maria walked into the front room. “Kyle and Serena don’t exactly get along very well.”

“Oh.” Liz looked down. “Kyle can come over another night then.”

“No, no, I think we can get along just fine. It’ll only be an hour at the most. What time is he coming?”

“Any minute.” Liz said when there was a knock on the door. “Come in.”

Kyle opened the door. “Hey, Liz. Where’s Hannah?”

“It’s all about Hannah isn’t it?” Liz put her hands on her hips. “She’s in the back room with Alex.”

Kyle’s brows set. “With Alex?”

“With Alex.” Liz affirmed before hugging him. Kyle had become a really close friend to Liz over the past few months. She was actually wondering if it was turning into a little something more.

Kyle hugged her back and held her a little longer than was necessary. He straightened and looked to the kitchen where Maria was mumbling to someone.

“What are you doing little sister?” He asked in French.

“Hello to you to, brother.” She said back. “Why don’t we go out into the front room for a while?” She said glancing over her shoulder.

“Why?” He asked before his eyes landed on Serena. He stopped dead in his tracks. “Oh.”

He hung his head low and went to find Liz and Hannah.

“Maria, maybe I shouldn’t be here.” Serena said feeling uncomfortable. “I can eat somewhere else tonight and come back.” She began to pick up her purse and gather her other things.

“No, stay, he’ll leave in little more than an hour.” Maria encouraged. “Just stay with me in the kitchen.” Maria dragged her back.

“Fine.”

“Tile!” Hannah said pleased at seeing Kyle.

“Hello, Han.” Kyle bent down to scoop her up in his arms.

Kyle walked out to the front of the apartment where Liz was searching behind the couch for something.

“What are you doing?” He asked coming up behind her.

“Searching for her bottle. She threw it back here when she ran after Alex.” She mumbled before pulling out a bottle.

Kyle mumbled something about it not being fair Alex got to see her more, and in result, liked him better

Hannah smiled when she saw the bottle in her mother’s hands and reached for it.

Liz handed it to her daughter before kissing her forehead.

Kyle settled in the chair with Hannah facing the TV.

“She’s not as hyper as she once was. Before she wouldn’t have just smiled, we would have had to hear a lot of squeals and giggles.” Kyle said.

“Yeah, I called the doctor about it. He wants to see her Thursday.”

“You want me to go?” Kyle asked.

“Please? I think it’s getting pretty close to surgery. I don’t think the medicine is working well at all.” Liz said quietly.

“It’ll be ok.” He reached across where they were sitting.

“I know.” She said quietly comforted by his confidence in the doctors. “Thank you.”

Serena watched quietly from the kitchen. Her heart ached at the sight of the three of them. Hannah so at ease, Liz so comforted, Kyle, so happy. Wiping away stray tears, she pushed herself away from their private moment to join Maria in the kitchen.

****

Max leafed through the law book frustrated, not able to find the right phase to put in his paper. “Max, you always work too hard.” The sultry voice filled his ears.

“Hello, Tess.” He greeted her not bothering to look up from his paper.

“Why don’t you take a break, we go out for a while?” She asked.

“Can’t, I have to finish this.” He said.

“That’s not due till next week.” She told him.

“Yeah, I wanna finish it now so I can study.”

“Come on, Max.” She pouted. At last he looked up.

“Fine. Just for a few hours.” He stood up reluctantly. For once forgetting about his schoolwork.

****

“Max Evans what is this?” Isabel stormed angrily into his room.

“Hmm?” He mumbled from under his pillow, he checked his alarm clock. It was the first class he had missed his whole college career.

“Get yourself out of that bed, right now!” She screeched.

“Isabel, hush.” He said pulling himself into a sitting position.

“No, I will not, how could you do this to them? Tess Harding, Max?” She ranted. “Max, you know that girl’s reputation.”

“I know, I’m sorry, Is.” He studied his hands.

“Sorry is not going to cut it. Max.” She stomped her foot. “I’m all for you relaxing a bit, but remember, Max, you have a year old daughter out there somewhere. Waiting for you to come as her knight in shining armor.” She slammed the door angrily.

Kicking himself, Max showers before heading back to his law books. On it, he found a note. “Dear Max,” I reads, “I had a wonderful time last night, maybe we can do it again sometime.” Right above where the letter was sitting, was a picture of little Hannah.

He hadn’t gotten any more pictures. He had no idea what his daughter looked like.

Again, kicking himself, he finished his paper.

****

The dinner was quiet interrupted with Hannah’s loud chatter. It wasn’t non-stop as it had once been. Now she stopped to catch her breath before she started up again.

Kyle sat opposite Serena. Liz visibly felt the tension in the room. Alex tried to keep up a lively conversation with Maria’s help.

“I have to go now.” Kyle scooted up from the chair.

Liz followed him to the door. “Thank you for staying. I’ll try not to let that happen again.” Liz said at the door.

“It’s ok, you didn’t know.” He leaned down and gave her a light peck on the lips before affectionately giving Hannah one on the top of her forehead.

“Bye, Tile!” She called after him.

“Bye, Hannah, Liz.” He nodded. He looked across Liz’s head at Serena. They exchanged silent words and he closed the door behind him.

Chapter 13

Liz sat in the prep room holding Hannah in her lap.

It didn’t work, and the medicines had failed. Although they moderately healed the holes, they were there and they were making themselves very apparent. She was going in for surgery in an hour.

Hannah sat with her face pushed into her mother’s warm chest. She whined softly in hunger. She had to fast for the past twelve hours and it wasn’t sitting well with her.

Liz stroked her hair trying to comfort her, hoping the doctor would come with the anesthetics.

There was a knock on the door.

“Come in.” Liz called.

Hannah shifted closer to her mother. The week had been filled with testing and prodding and shots and all sorts of medical procedures for the young girl. Whenever a doctor was in the room she would cower into Liz and allow them to do whatever they needed to do.

“Hey, girls.” It was Kyle.

“Kyle, what are you doing in here, you’re supposed to scrub for this.” Liz asked with her eyebrows raised.

“I can’t. I know her too well, it’s not good when a doctor is too familiar with his patients.”

Hannah peeked at Kyle from where her face was hidden.

“Bonjour, mon papillon.” He said to her. My Butterfly.

“Bonjour, Tile.” She greeted with a small smile.

“Why, Kyle, I’d feel better if you did.” Liz said starting to panic.

“Liz, if I won’t feel comfortable being in there I won’t be very helpful. I’ll stay out here. This is a really good doctor that’s doing the operation, I wouldn’t accept anything else for her. Trust me.”

The MA knocked and entered the room. Hannah looked at her with dread and sniffled against Liz but held her arm out dutifully as Liz rubbed her back to calm her down.

She flinched when the small point penetrated her sensitive skin. The MA finished quickly and left the room.

Liz shifted her. “Alright, Hannah, all done. Go night-night now.” Liz tried to lull her to sleep.

Within minutes her eyes were closed and she was oblivious to the world around her.

Handing her over to the doctors Liz retreated into Kyle’s arms. “I trust you.” She whispered as they whisked her baby away.

****

Isabel sat curled up in her brother’s protective side during a scary movie.

“Why do you always watch these?” He teased. It was his break between semesters and he could relax the few weeks he had off. He liked relaxing with his sister.

“It’s an excuse to curl up with my big brother.” She smiled at him and hid her face when blood splattered across the screen.

The telephone rang.

“Leave it.” Isabel clutched on to him and stared at the phone. The phone in the movie rang as well.

“It could be Mom or Dad.” Max reached for it.

“It could be a serial killer, no, let the machine get it.” She grabbed his hand.

“Fine.” He relaxed back against the couch. Isabel wrapped herself in his warm embrace when the answering machine beeped.

Hello, this is Tess. I just wanted to let Max know that I had a great time last night, again. I was thinking we should do it more often, on a permanent basis. Call me back, you have my number, Max. Bye.

Isabel pushed away from him, her eyes flashing with anger. “What was that about?”

“I went out with Tess last night, that’s it.”

“Again?” She spat.

“Only as friends, Izzy. I didn’t do anything. I will never do anything, you should know that.” Max said standing up.

“You better know that, Max.” She emphasized.

“Isabel, I’ve put my life on hold. You obviously know where they are, how they’re doing. I know nothing. I can’t do that.”

“Max, when you have a kid, you no longer have a life of your own.”

“That goes for people who live with their kids, who know where the mother of their kid is!” He said angrily.

“Actually, Max, I have no idea where they are. She always calls me. She doesn’t want me to have to lie to you about where they are.” Isabel admitted. She actually knew very little about what was going on with them.

“Oh.” He muttered to himself. Max shut off the TV and went to his own room. He lies quietly thinking. Half an hour later he heard the door creak open. “What do you want, Is?”

“I’m scared, Max. I don’t think that movie agreed with my imagination.” She said.

“Come on.” He held his covers open in invitation.

“I’m sorry, Max.” She apologized before slipping under the covers.

“It’s alright, Isabel. I understand.” He said quietly and Isabel curled into his side as she had done when they were children.

Isabel coming into his room reminded him of something else. A short brunette-haired girl. Big curious eyes, his own ears, and her mother’s perfect hair. He could feel her tiny body coming to him in search of protection. His heart ached at the want of it. He was tempted to find her. To just look her up. But he knew that he couldn’t do that. He had to have something to take to them before he did that.

He could not show up empty handed.

****

Liz sighed and rested her head against Kyle’s shoulder.

“You Ok?” He asked, drawing his arm around her. Before when she had once stiffened and shirked his touch, she now accepted it readily.

She nodded and closed her eyes.

“It’s almost done now, Liz. Not much longer.” He said and rubbed her hair.

“I know.” She said still not opening her eyes.

Her heart was in her throat the entire time Hannah was in surgery.

“She’ll be fine.” He whispered in French.

She understood more now that Kyle had given her books he had used when he was little and learning.

Liz smiled at him before letting her head rest on his shoulder again.

This time her eyes were open and she focused on his one hand that was resting on his pants.

She carefully slid her hand down until it covered his. He flipped it over and his fingers laced through hers.

She looked up at him and he smiled down at her. Carefully he dropped a kiss down to her lips. Liz responded with all the fear she had been holding in her.

She pulled back tears running down her eyes.

“Liz, I’m sorry.” He said not knowing what he had done wrong.

“No, no, it’s alright, Kyle.” She assured him.

“Are you sure?” He asked pushing her hair back from her face.

“Yes.” She nodded.

“Come here.” He brought her closer to where she was completely resting against him.

“Thank you, Kyle.” She said quietly before bringing their joined hands up and placing a small kiss on his.

Kyle smiled and relaxed against the stiff waiting room chair. Li z adjusted herself to fit Kyle’s new position.

Liz fell asleep and woke to the doctor walking towards her with a smile on his face.

****

Once again Hannah was settled in Liz’s lap watching Hannah’s Baby Einstein video.

Hannah hadn’t said or done much in the week that she had been home. She either sat in Liz’s lap or was in Liz ‘s arms, or was at Liz’s feet, or in Liz’s bed.

Hannah coughed slightly trying not to hurt the stitches in her chest.

“Mommy.” She murmured in pain.

“It’s ok, Sweetie.” Liz stroked her hair.

“She gonna be ok?” Alex looked up concerned.

“Yeah.” Liz nodded.

“Come to Uncle Alex?” He held his hands up.

“No.” She turned and held on to Liz.

Alex turned a hurt look back to the computer screen. “Don’t take it personally, Alex.” Liz tried to repair the damage.

“Don’t worry, I will.” He said not looking up.

“Look what followed me home from work.” Maria said happily.

Liz looked up and saw Kyle throw her a dirty look. “Can we keep it?”

Liz asked playfully as he walked over and kissed her softly on the lips.

“I don’t think so, Liz, it might have rabies.” Alex said turning around.

“Be quiet.” Kyle said sitting next to Hannah and Liz on the couch.

“Mon Papillon.” He said and brought her to his lap where she sat happily.

“Sure, Liz, I won’t take it personally.” Alex glared at Kyle.

“Eighteen months and she’s already a hit with the guys, I’m gonna have to teach her a few tricks or two.” Maria laughed as she left the room.

TBC

Hey! This chapter is a lot longer than I expected. I just wanted to get them all in one part. Thanks for waiting!
-Mattie

Chapter 14

Liz pushed her tired feet into her sneakers and slipped tied the laces tight so she wouldn’t trip while working.

“Come play with me, Mommy.” Hannah asked crawling onto the bed.

“No, Hannah bean. I have to go to work.” Liz apologized and stroked her three-year-old’s hair from her face.

“You just got back from work, Mommy.” Hannah pouted.

“I know, Hannah.” Liz said sympathetically. Time Out for Parents had all but gone out. She was now on her own to pay hospital and daycare bills.

“I’m going to Grandma Amy’s?” She asked.

Amy Valenti took care of Hannah when Liz worked three days of the week. Hannah attended daycare Wednesdays and Fridays, and on those days, Liz worked evenings, leaving Mrs. Valenti to baby-sit again.

“I always go to Grandma Amy’s.” She said going to get her pack together.

“I know, but Mommy will be home with you tomorrow night.” Liz promised.

“Really?” She asked excitedly.

“Yes.” Liz said.

“Can we play Clifford?” Hannah asked about her favorite board game.

“We can play what ever you want, Hannah bean.” Liz promised with a smile.

Hannah let out an excited whoop and ran to get her things. “Is Kyle gonna be there?” She had long since learned the correct pronunciation of his name.

“Yes.” Liz smiled.

On top of paying for daycare and small medical bills, she moved into an apartment across the hall from Maria and Alex to allow more independence.

“Ready, Hannah bean?” Liz asked.

“Yes, Mommy. Is Grandpa Jim gonna be there too?”

“Always.” Liz said as she held the door open for her little girl to walk through.

****

“Are you sure you want to do this, Max?” Phillip Evans eyed his son with reluctant pride and admiration.

What it normally took a kid four years to accomplish, Max had done in three.

He knew why Max had wanted to start a branch in Los Angeles.

“Yes, Dad. I’m already not going to make my goal, please don’t make it any later.”

“What was your goal, son?” He asked curiously.

“November 4.” He said quietly.

“You’re going to California to find them aren’t you?” Phillip asked.

Max sat there staring at his hands, unable to deny the fact.

“Max, do you know what you’re doing?” He looked at his son concerned.

“Yes, Dad.” He nodded and looked him straight in the eye.

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to start a branch in Orange County.” Phillip straightened.

“Why not LA?”

“Because LA is not where Hannah and Elizabeth are. They’re in Orange County Max.” He said casually.

“And you would know this how?” Max crossed his arms.

“I’ve always known. I’ve been keeping tabs on her for a while soon as I figured out what you were planning on doing.” He smiled.

“How long?” Max asked.

“A little over six months. Your mother hinted to me and so I found them.” He looked pleased with himself. “They’re in Yorba Linda, California.”

“Thank you, Dad.” Max smiled. “Are you going to go with me?”

“Yes.” Phillip answered. “All of us. Including your mother and Isabel.”

“Are you moving out there permanently?” He asked.

“No, just until we get you on your feet, and by that time Isabel will be done with schooling and she can stay there and help you.” He said proudly.

“That’s great.” Max shrugged. “When do we leave.”

“Next week.” Phillip said. “Isabel has to transfer and then we’ll be on our way.”

“Thank you, Dad.” Max said once more before standing.

“Sit down, Max.” His father directed before he could exit.

Max sat automatically. He had 21 years of training to know not to disappoint his father.

“I know, son, how much these three years have torn at you. You were unable to have a normal college experience or a normal young adulthood. Then again, you weren’t going to have a normal life if you had kept your child. I’m sorry, Max, for what you went through, not knowing what kind of life your daughter is going through.” He straightened. “I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t know where you or Izzy went. Max, I’m proud of you. How you kept your head on straight. I’m proud, Max I am. I hope you find Hannah.”

Max nodded at his father and left the room.

It’s not finding Hannah that will be the hard thing. Getting Liz to trust him would be unbelievably difficult.

****

“Come to bed now, Hannah.” Amy Valenti called.

“I hafta wait for Mommy.” Hannah protested.

“Your Mommy will come and get you when she’s done with work.” She said. “Say goodnight to Grandpa Jim.”

“No!” She protested. “I want Mommy!”

”No, Hannah, Mommy will come and pick you up, but only if you go to sleep.” Amy coaxed.

“Come on, Hannah.” Kyle said hearing the commotion. It was the same argument every night. Hannah didn’t want to sleep until Liz came to get her.

“Kyle, I hafta wait for Mommy.” She pleaded.

“Alright, we’ll wait for Mommy in my room, ok?” He asked.

She nodded. “Night Grandpa Jim and Grandma Amy.” She waved back.

“Why do you always fight, papillon?” Kyle asked while laying her down in his bed.

“I hafta wait for Mommy.” She said as if it were obvious.

“You’ll wait for Mommy here. Now, would you like to read a book?” He asked.

“Yes, ask Grandma Amy.” Hannah said sitting up again.

Kyle returned quickly holding the book in his hands. She clapped her hands and snuggled into his side as he opened the book.

Five minutes later she was sleeping.

Liz walked into the room quietly, not wanting to disturb the sleeping Kyle and Hannah.

Liz loved watching Hanna sleep. In sleep, it was easy to see Max in Hannah. Liz had finally cut the girl’s hair when Hannah refused to let her brush it. As she had suspected it fell straight now. Almost exactly the same as hers only with Max’s dark hue.

Liz reached out a gentle hand and brushed Hannah’s hair out of her face. Even though it was October, in California, it meant hotter than summer when the Santa Ana Winds rolled around. The hair stuck to her face unexpectedly. Hannah shifted and Liz stood back making sure she wouldn’t wake her.

Kyle came in behind her and wrapped his arms around her. “She wants you to wake her up, she thinks she has to wait for you before she can sleep.”

“I know, Amy was telling me that.” Liz smiled and leaned her head back on him. “I have to take her home.”

“I’ll follow you in my car.” He said quickly.

“No, Kyle, you have your final test tomorrow, you need to sleep as well. I’ll remove her so you can go to bed. Thanks for sharing.” She said in a voice she used only for Hannah when reprimanding her.

“Alright.” He gave in knowing there would be no arguing with her. She had picked that up from Amy and Maria who had in turn given the same spark to Hannah. Luckily, Hannah was still young enough where you could be reasonable with her but she was learning quickly not to give in.

“Can I carry her to the car for you?” He asked looking very much like a little boy.

“Yes.” She nodded and walked behind him as he carefully set her in the car.

“Call me when you get home, alright?” He ordered.

“I will. Goodnight, Kyle.” Liz said before starting the car and heading home.

****

Max stepped into the townhouse his parents were renting while they set up the business.

“Must you always stand in doorways, Max?” Isabel pushed through.

”Only because it bugs you.” He shrugged and moved from the doorway so his parents could enter.

“Max, take your dog.” Isabel comes back into the room. “It’s in my room, again.”

“She is not an it, her name is Ella after you, and she obviously loves her namesake.” He said quiet offended by her rejection.

“Thrilled as I am about having a dog named after me, Max, keep IT out of my room. Thank you.” She turned and returned to her room.

“Gosh, I still like you, Ella.” He comforted the dog that was anxious to get out of his arms and explore her new surroundings.

It had been a spur of a moment purpose. He had gone to pound, for what he would never know. He saw the two-year old puppy sitting quietly in the back of the cage, and he had to have her. She was a mix of everything. There was no telling what she was.

Isabel shut the door firmly to her room and answered her cell

Isabel?” Liz’s voice came across the line.

“Hey, Liz.” Isabel said quietly into the phone incase her brother decided to follow her.

“How are you doing?” Liz asked quietly. “Hannah’s asleep.”

“Good, Liz, I’m glad you called. I got the new right after I hung up with you last Tuesday.”

“What’s wrong, Isabel?” Liz asked her voice sounding worried.

“Liz, we’re in California.”

“We, meaning…” She hinted.

“My parents, me, and Max.”

“Where?” Liz closes her eyes and leaned her head on her table.

“Anaheim Hills.”

There was nothing but silence on the other side of the line.

“Liz?” Isabel called softly.

“My God, Isabel. I don’t even know what to say.” Liz took a deep breathe.

“I know, where are you at?”

“Yorba Linda, just a freeway overpass away from Anaheim Hills.”

Anaheim Hills was the rich part of Anaheim. Orange stood as a divider between the two but are considered the same city.

“Does he know that?” Liz asked.

“Yes.” Isabel said. “Liz, he’s going to try to find you. I’ve been pushing him to do his best in law school and he finished in three years, Liz. I know it might be hard to forgive him, and I’m not asking you to, I just want you to know, Liz, he worked himself hard to make a good life.”

“Isabel, don’t.” Liz asked quietly. She glanced over at Hannah who was now awake. She was staring straight at Liz. Not moving, just staring into space with a thumb in her mouth. “She’s awake.”

“Liz, I know it’s a lot, but, can I meet her? It would meet a lot to me, if I could just meet her once, she doesn’t even have to know who I am.” Isabel pleaded.

“Of course, Isabel.” Liz said without hesitation. “I wanted you to come out after she was born, but I didn’t want you to know where we were in case he asked.” Liz said, never using his name.

“I know.” Isabel acknowledged. “When can I meet her?”

“Um.”

“Wait just a sec, Liz, the dog is at the door.”

“Dog?” She asked curiously. “When did you get a dog.”

“We didn’t, my stupid brother did. Two days ago. Her name is Ella, after me, isn’t that sweet of him.” Isabel said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“What kind?” She asked.

“No one knows.” Isabel said as she let the dog in her bedroom door. She really had a soft spot for her but she didn’t want Max to know.

“How cute. But I think tomorrow will be good, I don’t have to work tomorrow evening. Hannah will be thrilled to go out.” Liz smiled.

“I talk, Mommy?” Isabel heard Hannah ask.

“Can she say hi?” Liz asked, not wanting to deny Hannah.

“Of course.” Isabel said excitedly. Usually Liz only called if she was asleep or with someone.

“Hedo?” Hannah asked into the phone.

“Hello, Hannah?” Isabel said softly back. Her voice was so high and sweet.

“Who dis?” She asked.

“I’m Isabel.”

”Mommy, who’s Isabel?” She asked looking at Liz.

“She’s your aunt.”

“Like Aunt Mwia?”

“Almost.” Liz wasn’t going to tell her Isabel was her real aunt.

“Hi, Aunt Isabel.” She said into the phone. Now that she ‘knew’ who she was speaking to she would speak freely. “I’m Hannah. Mommy said I go to park tomorrow.”

“Yes, we’re going to the park tomorrow.” Isabel affirmed. “Are you excited?”

“Les.” All her Y’s sounded like L’s “Wait, Mommy’s sayin’ somefing. Wha?” She turned to Liz. “Mommy says I hafta go now, we goin’ to Gwama Amy’s, so Mommy can work. We gonna see Kyle.” She said excitedly.

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Isabel said before she heard them shifting the phone.

“We gotta run, Isabel. I’ll talk to you tomorrow at the Yorba Linda park, yes?”

“Alright, see you tomorrow.” Isabel snapped off the phone and picked the dog up onto her bed.

“What are we going to do, Ella?”
****

Isabel sat nervously in the park not sure where to find Liz. She arrived early hoping Liz would find her. She had brought Ella along just because.

“Hey.” She heard from behind her.

“Liz!” Isabel stood up quickly. She hadn’t seen her best friend in three years. Isabel studied her, she was still the same, except her eyes looked older.

“This is Hannah.” Liz introduced.

The girl was a small version of Liz except anyone who knew Max, knew this was his child. Isabel gasped.

“I know, she looks like him.” Liz said quietly.

“Yes, she does.” Isabel squatted down in front of her. “But she’s beautiful, Liz.”

“Thank you.” Liz said and rubbed her hair. Hannah was leaning completely on her.

Hannah stared. “We have de same eyes.”

Isabel looked up at Liz. “Yes, we do.” She said through a constricted throat. “I’m your Aunt Isabel.”

“I talked lesterday.” Hannah said.

“Yes. Can I hug you?” Isabel asked.

“Les, Aunt Mwia don’t ask.” Hannah said and threw her arms around Isabel.

Isabel hugged her small body to her. She held on for a while but Hannah seemed to sense something was different. She let her hold on for as long as she needed and rested her head on her shoulder.

“Who dat?” Hannah asked when she let go.

”That’s our dog, her name is Ella.” Isabel pulled the dog over.

“Elda, come here.” She said and gently petted the dog. “I like her.”

“She likes you too.”

Isabel smiled and relaxed. She was more comfortable around the small girl. Maybe she could get to know her niece better over the many years to come.

Chapter 15

“Hello, Liz.” Kyle smiled when she answered the door.

“Kyle.” She smiled back. “Come on in.” She turned and walked back into the front room.

“Where’s, mon papillon?” He asked looking around.

“Alex decided to steal her while you weren’t around. They took her out.” Liz smiled. “She was full of energy when she woke up and argued about everything. She didn’t want her hair a certain way or she didn’t want that outfit. You know how she gets.”

“Yeah.”

“Luckily, Serena’s staying over so I didn’t have to deal with it before Serena gracefully took over.”

Kyle’s face changed. “Serena’s staying here?”

”Yes.” Liz wondered briefly why he cared. Serena and Kyle hadn’t gotten along real well in the past few years and apparently never had, according to Maria. “I offered to have her stay here. Alex has the whole third bedroom over there turned into a computer room with his gadgets and things. I have Hannah’s room and she refused to sleep in her bed, so why not?”

“Yeah.” He said quietly. “How long is she going to be here?”

“Couple of weeks.”

“Weeks?”

“Yes, Kyle, possibly months. She’s in a row with her parents again and she’s done with schooling.” She studied his reaction carefully. “Kyle, is there anything you want to share with me?”

He looked at her; his eyes tired, hurt. “No, Liz.”

“Are you sure?” She tilted her head and studied him.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Because I do have that Mommy sixth sense thing.” She smiled.

“I know, and a very good one at that.” He pulled her close and rested his cheek on her hair.

“Thank you.” She whispered. It was one of her biggest insecurities. What if Max didn’t approve of the way she had raised her? What if she wasn’t doing anything right? She could be messing up a little girl’s entire life.

“You’re doing a good job, Liz.” Kyle said reassuring her. “Mon Papillon is going to be a good little girl and an incredible woman, like her mother.”

She sighed and moved out of the room, knowing something was still wrong with him. She had learned that if he wasn’t going to talk about it, he wasn’t going to talk about until his own time. She turned on a movie and curled on the couch. He automatically sat down next to her and she moved to his side. Almost a perfect fit. Almost, Max had been a perfect fit.

It had been four years and she still hasn’t gotten over him. As great as Kyle was, Max was it for her and she knew it. Deep within her. She knew that if he showed up at her front step at that moment she couldn’t stay mad at him. She’d let him back in. Into her baby’s life, into hers. The thought frightened her and angered her. Max hadn’t loved her in that way. He had easily let them slip from his hands, his arms. She was comfortable in Kyle’s arms, but not safe. She didn’t feel the quiet strength that had radiated from him, even as a teenager. She hated herself for comparing the two. She knew no matter how hard she twisted it, Kyle would never be Max. No one could be Max.

Hannah, her baby, had already began to show the same quiet strength and determination. It didn’t help that she spent most of her time with Amy Valenti and her daughter. They both had a stubborn streak that was leaking into her. If it hadn’t been for Serena this morning, Hannah would have gone out without her hair being combed. She was quiet and liked to read. That much she got from her. She got most of her looks from her, but most of her personality, that as Max.

Liz let her mind rest as she began to drift off into sleep, something she hadn’t gotten since Hannah had crawled into bed with her. Hannah always snuggled close but unfortunately for Liz, she kicked in her sleep.

Liz opened her eyes when she heard the front door open nearly two hours later.

“Hi, Mommy.” Hannah ran in the house.

“Hello, Hannah bean, did you have fun with Serena and Uncle Alex?” She asked when she pushed herself into the space between her and Kyle on the couch where they were watching a movie.

“Les.” She said scooted back catching Kyle in the stomach.

Kyle caught his breath at the sharp little elbow and let it out fast when Serena walked in the door Alex a step behind.

”Sorry, Liz, she ran ahead of us.” Serena said breathlessly.

“I win.” She said hopping off the couch and holding her arms up to Alex.

She was tiny still, the size of a small three year old. Her heart condition made it hard for her body to keep up with the amount of oxygen that it could keep in her body, stunting her growth. Although the doctor said she was perfectly healthy and could go on with her normal way of life and she would grow with time, Liz wasn’t seeing it.

“Yes you win.” Alex said with a grin.

“Canny?” She held out her hand.

“Yes, you can have your candy.” Alex removed the tootsie roll from his back pocket.

“Alex, she hasn’t had lunch yet.” Liz chided standing up. “Would you like to join us, I’ll make grilled cheese.”

Up to this point Serena had been silently observing Kyle. “No, Liz, I’ll go see what Maria’s doing.”

“Maria’s with her mother today, you know that, sit.” She said looking at the table.

Serena sat in the chair and leaned her legs against the table.

Liz moved around the kitchen watching her. Kyle and Alex were arguing with Hannah about where she wanted to sit.

“Are you alright, Serena?” Liz asked sitting next to her when the sandwiches were cooking.

“Yes.” She said quietly. Then a quiet “no.”

“What’s wrong?” Liz asked immediately concerned.

Serena just looked at Liz. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Are you sure?” She went into mother mode.

“Yes.” She stood up. “I think I’m going to lay down for a while.”

“Do you want a sandwich?”

“Save one for me later?” She asked.

“Sure.” Liz smiled.

An hour later, after everyone had left, and Hannah was down for a nap, Liz went in to check on Serena.

“Hey, I warmed up your sandwich for you.” Liz sat on the bed next to Serena.

“I don’t want it right now.” Serena said.

“What’s wrong?” Liz asked. “Hannah’s down, I have all the time in the world.”

“It’s nothing, Liz. Just a simple breakup. I really should be over it.” Serena sat up.

“I wasn’t even aware you were seeing anyone.” Liz raised her eyebrows.

“I wasn’t, haven’t for a while.” She said and rested her head on Liz’s lap.

“Well, was he important to you?” Liz asked.

“Extremely.” Serena nodded.

“Why can’t you go back to him then?”

“It isn't that easy. You of all people should know that, Liz. There’s another woman.” Serena rested her head. “And she’s really nice, so I can’t hate her.”

“Oh.” Liz sat stroking Serena’s hair. “Are you going to Hannah’s graduation tonight?”

“Of course!” Serena said quickly. “I wouldn’t miss it. She talked about it the entire time we were gone.”

“I’m glad.” Liz said smiling. “I think Isabel’s going to try to come.” Liz said absently.

“Isabel, her Aunt Isabel?”

“Yeah. She’s been really supportive and Hannah adores her.” Liz paused when she heard a quick call from Hannah.

“Go ahead. We have to start getting her ready anyway.” Serena sat up.

“Mommy!” Hannah stomped into the room.

“Yes, Hannah?” Liz stood up from the bed.

“Can we go?” She asked tilting her head to side in a move that was every bit Liz.

“No.” Liz answered calmly.

“But, Mommy you said…” Hannah began to pout.

“I know what I said, Hannah. First you have to take a bath, then we’ll curl your hair, then we’ll put on your pretty new dress that Grandma Amy made for you, then we can put on stockings and you’re new shoes. Then Kyle will come and pick us up. THEN we can go.”
Hannah seemed pleased with getting to dress up. “Alright.” She let her hands fall. “Now?”

“Yes now. Come on, Hannah.”

****

Kyle stood in his room straightening his suit jacket. The ring burned in his pocket. He’d had it for quite some time now. He just didn’t know when to do it. Tonight, he thought. When he went to take her home.

“Kyle, are you alright?” Amy asked. She noticed when her stepson looked nervous.

She had adopted Kyle as her own when she and his father, Jim, had gotten married when he and Maria were five.

“I’m gonna do it tonight, Mom.” He said shyly.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this, Honey?” She asked with a smile.

“Yes. I have a great job, I love her, I love Hannah, Mom, and I think I’m ready for this.” He said with a confident smile.

“Alright if you feel you’re ready, then good luck.” She leaned on her tiptoes to kiss his forehead as she had done when he was a child.

“Thank you, Mom, I have to go pick them up now.”

****

Max stood in front of the door nervously. He knew that it was the right address; he had done all the research necessary to make sure that was correct.

He pulled his hands out of his pocket and reached for the doorbell.

****

“Hannah, go let Kyle in please.” Liz said while she finished curling her own hair.

“Why?”

”Because, he’s coming to pick us up and go to the daycare center.” Liz said looking at her daughter to make sure she would listen.

“Fine.” She ran to the door, her little heels clicking on the tile floor.

****

Max stared at the door as it creaked open.

“Who you?” The tiny girl asked.

Max stared at the little girl and immediately knew who she was. His mouth went dry. She had dark brown hair. Staring at her eyes was like looking in a mirror. Her ears were certainly his. Everything else, as he had suspected, was her mother’s.

She was wearing a red dress with the tiny black patent leather shoes that all little girls have. Her hair was pulled back into a half ponytail with a red ribbon and curled at the ends.

“Hannah, why don’t you let him in?” Liz asked.

Hannah looked at her mother and backed up away from the door. Liz finished putting her ear ring on before she pulled the door open wider.

“We’re ready, Hannah, get your things.” she said before looking up.

Max collected himself and got his brain to function after seeing her for the first time in four years. “Liz?”

Liz froze. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She knew this was going to happen Isabel had warned her.

“Max.” She whispered and turned around.

TBC

A/N: I went back and was rereading the story. I just noticed that I make adoption sound like a bad thing or I look down on it, when in reality I actually think quite the opposite. I’m adopted myself so I think it’s a wonderful thing. I just portray it as a way most teen mothers feel or go through when deciding what to do with an unplanned pregnancy.

Also, Max isn’t going to get it as easy as he thinks he is, Liz is a lot stronger than she gives herself credit for. Remember, she’s no longer the seventeen-year-old daughter of Nancy and Jeff Parker, one of the richest families in town, she’s now the twenty three year old mother of a four year old little girl of her own. So don’t worry, it’s not all going to fall into place as it’s supposed to.

Chapter 16

Liz turned around slowly and studied him.

He grew a few inches taller; his hair still fell in the same way. He was dressed casually although his stance was anything but. He stood with his hands in his pocket his head tucked down, like Hannah did when she wasn’t sure about something.

“Hannah bean, go downstairs and wait for Kyle please.” Liz told her daughter without taking her eyes from Max.

Both held their gaze steady. Max wanted to get a look at his little girl again but Liz was blocking his view. She was running around somewhere in the apartment.

“Hannah, hurry, and tell Kyle to come up.” Liz said.

“Alright.” She slid by her father, unknowingly, and held tightly to the railing that led down to the parking lot where Kyle was to pick her up.

“Stay by the stairs Hannah and don’t move.”

“What are you doing here, Max?” Liz asked setting her purse down.

“I came to see you.” He said simply.

Liz was grateful that Serena had gone ahead with Alex and Maria and had already gone down to church. All the lights in their apartment were out and she was silently happy that they wouldn’t come out and see him here.

“You came to see me. After four years, you came to see me?” Liz asked to clarify.

Max flinched. It just sounded wrong. “It’s not like that, Liz.” He said quietly. How was he going to explain it?

“Max, you can’t just show up on my doorstep some Saturday night. You’ve not tried to find me in the past four years; you could have at least called before showing up. Now I’m going to have to explain to my daughter who you are.”

“Our daughter.” He said quietly.

“No, Max. Until this moment you have not been a part of her life. You wanted to send her off to be adopted. Right now, she is not our daughter, she is very much, my daughter.” Liz said firmly.

Max looked at her shocked at strong she had become.

“Kyle!” Hannah said excitedly.

“Hannah?” Liz called.

“She’s here, Liz, what’s up?” Kyle said stepping onto the second floor. “You ready to go?”

“Yes, Kyle, I am.” Liz nodded.

“Who’s this?” He said putting Hannah down.

“Kyle, this is Max, Max, this is Kyle.” She introduced.

“Max? As in Max?” He asked.

Liz nodded looking from Hannah to Max to Kyle. Her brain, her heart, her soul, was confused beyond help.

“Max?” Hannah asked hanging onto Kyle’s hand.

“I’ll explain later. Kyle, I’ll meet you down by the car ok? Just give me a second.” She looked at him. “Take her with.”

Liz watched as they disappeared down the steps.

“So he knows about me, are you seeing him?”

“Yes, and it’s not really your business.” Liz raised her chin daring him to challenge her. “Max, we have her graduation ceremony to go to. Hannah’s going to start Kindergarten in the fall, we’re all going down there for the little party that they have for the four year olds. We’re going to be late if I don’t leave.”

“Oh, ok.” He said not knowing what to say. “Here’s my number.” He gave it to her. “Call me when you can?” He asked.

“I’ll do that.” She shut the door behind her. “I’ll walk you down.”

They walked down the stairs to an awaiting Kyle and Hannah.

Hannah eyed Max carefully and stayed on the opposite side of Kyle who was on the opposite side of Liz. She sensed something was wrong, her mother always introduced her to someone new. The man was staring at her again and she shrank behind Kyle’s legs.

“You ready to go?”

“Les, Mommy.” Hannah nodded and reached for Kyle who took her.

Hannah rested her head on his shoulder. Max’s heart lurched at the comfort that his daughter took in another man’s arms. Kyle noticed Max’s face change for a quick instant and smirked at him before Liz could see.

“I’ll see you around, Max.” Liz said before turning and walking to the car.

****

Max sat outside in the church parking lot. He had absolutely no right to be going to the ceremony, but he couldn’t stop himself from walking up to the auditorium he had watched many other people enter.

Walking into the auditorium he wondered if he had made a mistake. Maybe he wouldn’t alert Liz to the fact that he was here.

He took a seat in the back of the auditorium where no one would notice him.

The lights flickered once, twice, and everyone hushed. Well as much as hushed could be. With it only being a four-year-old graduation, there were many younger siblings in the crowd.

Pretty soon they called the name of each of the little kids. There were only about fifteen kids moving onto the big bad dangerous world of kindergarten so the announcer also the pastor at the church asked each child a few questions to the amusement of the audience.

Hannah was one of the last kids called.

Hannah Bella-Marie Parker.

Max sat a little straighter when he heard her name called. Her name flowed together perfectly, just like everything else Liz did. She walked onto stage with a huge grin on her face. She held her robe up with both hands. She was shorter than the other kids Max noticed. Liz had always been shorter than the others, knowing this made him smile a bit, she had inherited another trait from her mother.

“Hello, Miss Hannah.” The pastor said.

“Hello, Pastor.” She said back smiling. Her r’s weren’t pronounced all the way.

“Who did you come with tonight?” He asked kindly.

“Wif Mommy and Kyle. Gwama Amy and Gwampa Jim too.” She turned to the crowd and waved happily.

“I bet they’re all very proud of you. Do you think so?”

“Yes. Aunt Mwia said is hard and she supwised Kyle did it. But don’t know how she means because Kyle’s smawt.”

There was a chuckle from the crowd and a quick “Hannah” which he knew came from Liz. He knew automatically that the spunk was something completely and uniquely Hannah.

“Alright, Miss Hannah. Congratulations.

She walked down and straight to Liz.

Liz must have said something she didn’t like because she turned and glared.

Two more names were called before the ceremony was over. Max watched as a small crowd of people surrounded Hannah and he couldn’t see her anymore. Max stood quietly and made his way out of the auditorium before he was noticed by anyone.

****

Hannah snuggled her head more comfortably into Kyle’s neck. He stopped outside the door while Liz unlocked it. He had draped his coat around Hannah’s shoulders and it had nearly swallowed her up. He made a quick check and made sure the ring was still in there. Underneath Liz’s façade of being happy he could sense her confusion. He was going to wait till she sorted through that confusion to ask her.

After all, he had some confusion to work out on his own. He was reminded of that when Serena walked up to Maria’s and Alex’s door with them.

“I thought you guys would have been here earlier than this.” Serena said happily to Liz.

“We went for ice cream.” Liz said opening the door. “You can go set her on the bed.” She instructed absently studying the way Kyle had looked at Serena.

“So what have you been telling my daughter, Maria?” Once she made sure Kyle was in, she turned to talk to her friends across the way.

“Nothing.” She grinned. “That was told in complete confidence between girls.”

“You’re teaching her things, Maria.” Liz smiled. “I’m a girl, care to share?”

“I know. But you’re Mommy and it was just Aunt Mwia and Hannah talk.” She smiled.

“Mommy!”

“Speak of the angel.” Maria laughed.

“I thought she was sleeping.” Liz said annoyed.

“Uh, Liz!” It was Kyle this time.

“I’m coming.” Liz called. “Those two…” Liz didn’t finish her sentence before she turned around and entered the house.

“See we should have gone with them, Maria, then I could have carried Hannah up and she wouldn’t be awake now, and Liz could go straight to sleep.” Alex said crossing his arms.

“Alex, if we would have gone with them, you wouldn’t have gotten to hang around afterwards with us and Hannah’s aunt.” Maria said smartly.

“Who said I wanted to hang out with Hannah’s aunt?”

“You said so yourself on the way home, she’s nice and sweet and unbelievably gorgeous.” Maria repeated.

“She is.” Alex shrugged casually and turned inside the apartment “Looking at Hannah, beauty runs in the family.”

“Yes, it does. God help Liz with Max.” Maria whispered and shut the door.

****

“Mommy, who was dat man?” Hannah asked through a yawn as she watched her mother prepare for bed.

Liz turned to meet her daughter’s questioning eyes. She was sitting cross legged on her bed with her head resting on her hands.

Liz thought a moment before she spoke. She didn’t want to lie to her daughter about who Max was, but she wasn’t quite ready to tell her his true identity. She wanted a chance to meet him, talk to him. She was going to call him Monday, make him wait a day, to seem like she wasn’t in any rush. Then she had Kyle to think about. What was she going to do about him? Hannah was extremely close to him and Kyle loved Hannah very much. She didn’t want to hurt either of them with what was going to happen. She, herself, didn’t even know what was going to happen.

So she stuck with the truth,

“That man was a old friend of Mommy’s.” Liz sat on the bed.

“He has eye’s like Aunt Isabel.”

“You didn’t see him that long, how do you know he has eyes like Aunt Isabel?”

“Cuz.” Was all she answered. “I see him again?”

“Maybe.”

“What is his name?”

“Max.” She repeated testing it on her tongue. She took the bottle filled with water. She was old but she was only allowed water and when she was going to bed. Liz wasn’t even sure if she actually drank anything rather than hold onto it, like a security blanket. She had asked Amy Valenti about it and she said she’d eventually grow out it.

****

“What are you doing, Liz? You’re supposed to be at work.” Serena stood over her.

“I don’t have work, and be quiet, Hannah’s sleeping.” She said opening her eyes and staring directly into Serena’s green eyes. “I’m relaxing.”

“On the floor?”

“Yes. It’s quite comfortable.” She shut her eyes again.

“What are your plans today?”

“Stay at home and spend time with Hannah.”

“Sounds like fun, I’m going over to Maria’s and Alex’s. Oh yeah, I was supposed to ask you, do you have Isabel’s number? Alex wants it.”

“It’s in my phone book. Why does Alex want it?”

”Because he likes her.” Serena said simply turning on her heel.

“Alex likes a girl?”

“Yeah, Hannah’s aunt.”

At that moment Hannah strolled in and situated herself directly on Liz, bottle in hand. “Hannah, give the bottle to Mommy.”

She sighed and handed over the bottle but didn’t relinquish her position.

“Liz, where’s your address book?” She called from the bedroom.

“In the nightstand.” Liz called back. Hannah looked around happily.

“Liz, are you gonna…”

“Don’t say it.” Liz warned.

“What I was only going to ask…”

“Don’t ask what you’re going to ask.” Liz glared.

“I just wanted to know…”

“Serena, please, don’t ask.”

“If Kyle was coming over.”

Liz shut her eyes, counted to five and braced herself. “Kyle’s coming?” Hannah sat up.

“Thank you, Serena, Hannah, Mommy can’t breath when you’re sitting on my tummy.” Liz huffed. “And no, I wasn’t planning on Kyle coming over.”

“Please?” Hannah asked bouncing on her tummy. “I wanna see Kyle.”

“Maybe he’ll come over for dinner.” Liz sat up. “But I have things that I need to do, just Mommy and Hannah things.” Liz stood up.

“Swena too?”

“No, Hannah, Serena’s going out.” Serena closed the door to leave them be by themselves.

****

Liz rolled over exhausted next to Hannah. She had finally gotten the four year old to sleep, without a bottle.

She loved spending entire days with Hannah. It was rare thing that they did and she knew from Hannah’s deep breathing that she loved them as well.

Liz quietly peeled the tiny hand from it’s sharp grasp on her shirt and stood from the bed, stretching. Tiredness was something she was used to, she had things to do.

She watched Hannah sleep for a few more minutes before she slid out of the door and closed it half way so she wouldn’t wake her.

She picked up the phone and dialed the number on the paper in her hand, and waited.

****

“Hello?” Isabel answered the phone.

“Hi, Isabel.”

“Liz? Hi! How are you?” Isabel asked shutting her door.

“I’m alright, Isabel, I need to talk to your brother.” Liz said shakily.

“Oh, yes.” Isabel stood from the bed and shouldered the phone to scoop the dog off the bed. “Liz, if I would have known he was planning on going over there on Saturday night, I would have told you. I really should have known, he was not himself the past week.” Isabel apologized.

“It’s alright, it would only had me worried and nervous all day. Now can I talk to him before I lose my nerve and Hannah wakes up?”

“Yes. Just a second.” She left her room and walked over to Max’s room.

“Max, wake up.” Liz heard through the phone.

Liz heard the familiar grunt and something being tossed. “Max!” Isabel shrieked.

“I’m sorry, Liz.” She emphasized the name and his head shot up. “Max seems to have had a very exhausting day in court.”

“I can call back later.” Liz said hurriedly happy for a postponement.

“No, no, he’s up now.” She smiled and handed the phone to him. Her face turned from amusement to complete seriousness. She pushed the mute button on the phone and looked him in the eye. “Max, be careful. It’s not about you and Liz anymore. It’s about you and Hannah. Maybe, just maybe in the future, it might be about you and Liz.” She pressed talk and handed him the phone before exiting the room.

“Liz?” He asked hesitantly.

“Yes, it’s me.” She breathed and closed her eyes. “Max, we need to talk.”

“Yes, yes I know.” Max said trying to calm his nerves, just the sound of her voice, after so many years was reeking turmoil on him. “Do you want to meet or something, so we don’t have to do this over the phone?”

“Yes, that would probably be better.” Liz nodded. She moved and stood in the doorway of the bed where Hannah was sleeping peacefully. “We have a lot to talk about.” Hannah stirred slightly and Liz returned to the kitchen.

“Do you want to come over here?” He asked tentatively.

“That would be fine. I can have Serena pick up Hannah from the Valentis, and I can stop by on my way home from work, say Thursday?” She spoke quickly once her mind was set.

“That sounds good, what time do you get off?” Max asked smiling. It was nice to hear her voice casually.

“Um,” she paused. “It depends on how busy the clinic is that day. Usually I’m off around 5, but it takes forever with traffic to get home, usually around 6:30. That’s kind of late.” She said going off again.

“That will be fine, do you want to meet for dinner?” He asked hopefully.

“No, I eat dinner with Hannah. Gosh, that causes another problem, maybe Thursday’s not such a good day.”

“You can bring her along.” He suggested.

“No.” Short. Plain. Simple.

“Alright.” He backed off, not used to that tone of voice directed at him.

“I want to talk to you first before you meet her.” Liz said. “Before she meets you.”

“I understand.” He nodded.

“Good.” She said. “Let’s say, I don’t know, Max. I work a lot and when I’m not working I like to spend my time with her.” She admitted.

Max cringed. The reason why she worked so much was because she was raising a daughter on her own, their daughter on her own.

“Liz, I…” Max started to apologize.

“Don’t say anything, Max. Alright, I figured it out. Isabel was asking to take Hannah anyway on Saturday. While she’s with her, I’ll meet you.”

“Sounds good, wait, Isabel knows Hannah?”

“Yes.” Liz said into the phone. “I have to go, Hannah’s waking up. Ask Is for the final details.”

“I’ll do that. Goodbye, Liz, and thank you.”

“Goodbye.” She was all she said before hanging up the phone. Hannah was still sound asleep.

Liz went back to the bed and laid down next to her daughter. The tiny girl curled up to her mother and took hold of her shirt once more. Liz let the tears fall silently as she watched her innocent baby sleep. She had no idea what she was going to do, how she was going to explain any of this to her. She had never asked questions about her father. She just knew she didn’t have one.

Just last week instead of proudly displaying that week’s final project, she had quietly slipped it from her backpack and into the trash. Later that night when she had been sleeping Liz had gone to retrieve it and it was a Happy Father’s Day card. Liz had cried silently that night as well.

She had always imagined a perfect life with Max. She would be happy. Not that she wasn’t now. Her entire life was sleeping soundly beside her and she couldn’t have wanted anything more. Except for Max to be there, with them, and the thought terrified her.

TBC

First of all, I’d like to thank you all for the feedback! It helps so much to motivate me. Thanks. This is my last post before I have to head back to school so here you guys are. Sorry it took so long. The next parts will be slow in coming because I’m hoping to go to Europe next summer and the only way I can do that is with all A’s and B’s, which means I must lay back on the Roswell.

Strawberry Shortcake: Michael is coming soon. As soon as I can figure out where I want him. He has several positions I could put him so I’m trying to figure out the best one!

So here ya go!


Chapter 17

Liz woke up literally inches from the edge of the bed. She smiled when Hannah tried to budge her closer to the floor. She slid out of bed and Hannah stretched across the extra room. No matter that Hannah’s side of the bed was completely empty.

Tying her robe around her and entering the kitchen, Liz poured a cup of coffee before sitting at the table. She flipped through a magazine that Maria had left behind before closing it. It was only six in the morning. No one in their right mind would be up this early in the morning. Except Liz wasn’t in her right mind. Today she was going to meet Max. Today she was going to talk to him after five years of silence.

Closing her eyes counted the hours she had till the meeting and what had to be accomplished. The meeting wasn’t till eleven. Hannah had to be bathed and dressed and ready to go with Isabel at ten. She had to shower and change. That wouldn’t take too long. Maybe she’d make a fun breakfast with Hannah, or maybe she’d crawl back into bed. She hadn’t gone to sleep until midnight.

Deciding to go back to bed, Liz slipped into bed on what was supposed to be her side now that Hannah had moved back to her own.

An hour later, Liz was on the edge of the bed. Deciding that was as much sleep as she was going to acquire that night, she walked to the bathroom to ready herself for her day.

In the shower, Liz carefully put all of Hannah’s precious bath toys on the side of the tub before flipping on the water. She went over carefully how she wanted the meeting to go. This was something she felt that she had control over; there were so many things in her life that she was not in control of.

When she got out Hannah was lying in bed finishing off her bottle. “Hannah.” She held her hand out.

She sulked over and placed it in Liz’s hand. “I’m going too?” She asked noticing Liz getting ready.

“You’re going to see Aunt Isabel, I have a meeting with Max.”

“Max?” Hannah was curious about this man.

“Yeah.” Liz dried her hair and slipped on her robe. “Come on, let’s go find something to eat.”

Hannah talked while Liz made breakfast and all through it. Liz smiled at her daughter as she used her hands to describe her the previous day and how much fun she had.

“Then when you pressed a button, the tiger made a roaring sound.” She giggled. “It scared Grandma Amy. But I wasn’t scared.” She said proudly.

“Did you really scare Grandma Amy, she’s pretty tough to scare.”

“Yeah. She screamed.” Hannah nodded around a mouthful of eggs.

“Hannah.”

She swallowed then mumbled a “sorry.” Then continued on with her story.

Serena breezed out of her room freshly showered. “I’m off.” She said grabbing a nectarine.

“Where to?” Liz asked looking up from Hannah.

“Work. They had an emergency and I need more hours if I plan on moving out.” She picked up her lab coat and stethoscope. “I’m not sure I’ll be back for dinner so don’t wait around.” She shut the door behind her.

“Alright.” Liz said and turned back to Hannah. “We have to get you ready.”

“To see Aunt Isabel?”

“Yes.” She said. “Go pick out what you want to wear while I finish off the dishes.”

“Ok.” She hopped down and ran to the bedroom.

She usually picked out something that matched reasonably well. As long as she didn’t pick to wear her rain boots Liz didn’t care what she wore.

Hannah had carefully picked out her outfit and had it on the bed waiting for Liz to run her bath.

“Come on.” Hannah followed her into the bathroom. “No toys today.” Liz shook her head no.

Hannah understood she needed to hurry so she didn’t wiggle in the bathtub. She held still so the soap wouldn’t get in her eyes when Liz rinsed her hair.

After dressing her and pulling her hair into a ponytail she was ready to go. Glancing at her watch Liz told Hannah to play quietly while she got herself ready.

Half an hour later Liz was ready to go.

****

“Max, just calm down.” Isabel tried to tell her brother.

“I can’t, Is.” She told her. “I haven’t seen her in five years.” Max told her.

“You saw her last Saturday.”

“That doesn’t count, but, she did look amazing.” Max smiled. “I don’t even know what to say to her.”

“Just talk, let her talk first, and if she doesn’t want to, you start. It’ll be awkward at first but you have to try.” Isabel gave him a hug. “I’m proud of you, Max. I’m proud of her too. When you talk to her, really talk to her, you’ll notice she’s still Liz. She might be a little different granted she is a mother, but she’s still Liz, and you’ve always been at ease with her.”

“I know, it’s that mother in her that worries me.” Max shrugged.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of.” Isabel comforted.

“I know, but I sense there is.”

****

Liz watched Hannah and Isabel drive away from her bench at the park. She considered it her park. She had taken one look at it when she was still pregnant with Hannah and had immediately fallen in love with it.

This was her safe place. She came here often to let Hannah to play with other children. Liz would sit and write in her journal or just watch Hannah play. She had no idea why she had asked Max to invade this private part of her life, but for some reason it felt right.

Max watched Liz from across the park. She sat on bench, her one leg tucked under her as she always had. She tucked a loosed strand of hair behind her ear. If one hadn’t known her she would have just looked like a gorgeous young woman sitting on a bench, waiting from someone. You would never guess that she had a four-year-old child.

“Liz?” He came up behind her.

She didn’t even startle. She prided herself on that.

“Max.” She lifted her head. “Hello.”

“Good morning, Liz.”

”Mind if I sit?” He asked pointing towards the bench.

“Of course.” She said.

He didn’t sit too close to her knowing he didn’t have a right to.

Knowing there was no point Max jumped right into the conversation. “Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”

“I couldn’t.” Liz said not wanting to dodge the obvious either. “Would you have come with me?”

“No.” He shook his head. He would have made her stay.

“You would have tried to make me stay. I couldn’t stay there, Max.” Liz shook her head.

“I know.” Max nodded. “I was afraid of going against my mother, you were so much more mature than I was, Liz. You were ready to make decisions I wasn’t ready for.” He shrugged. “I was shocked when I saw Hannah last Saturday. I still thought of her as a baby.”

”I know, sometimes it’s hard to believe how fast she grew up.” Liz smiled, thinking of how much she talks. “Where were you, Max? Why did you come after us?” Her smile turned into a frown. Why didn’t you come sooner? is what she wanted to know. Why didn’t you call, why didn’t you send a birthday card for her?

“I spent three years in law at UNM.” He said started.

“It takes at least four years even to get a basic degree in law, Max.”

“I know, I was determined to get it done by Hannah’s fourth birthday.” He said shyly. “I didn’t quite make it, but my parents pulled some strings. They didn’t know why I wanted it done so quickly but they were willing to help. I took some extra classes and finished a few weeks after.” He shrugged.

Liz studied Max. He had that for him still. His parents were able to pull strings and get whatever he needed done. If she had asked her parents five years previously they could have too, but now they wouldn’t think twice about her.

He could have studied law out here. They could have worked it out, somehow. It might not have been as easy as he had had it but they would have been together, Hannah would have had a father. Liz was suddenly angry with him.

“Why did you have to stay in New Mexico for your law degree?” She asked coldly moving further away from him. She was angry at him for staying away so long. She was angry at herself knowing she shouldn’t be mad at him, she knew she didn’t want him to find her, and she was angry at herself for being angry. She was supposed to have no feelings for him. She was not supposed to care about where he was, or why he chose to stay there.

Max turned to her when he heard the sudden chill in her voice. She had been so calm before. He looked at her, really looked at her. Her hair was a bit longer than in had been when he last saw her. Her face still perfectly unmarred. Her body trim, no sign of bearing a child. She was still perfectly tan from the warm California sun. He was quiet a minute longer not sure how to answer her question. Judging from her facial expression, she was not in the mood to mess around. If he remembered correctly, that face meant she was angry. She always controlled her anger extremely well unless she was around someone she cared deeply for, then she didn’t hang on to such tight control. But the way she was looking at him now meant that she was going to control it. And it scared Max to death about what that meant for him.

He hadn’t expected Liz to want to get back together with him. He wasn’t planning for it, but there was no harm in hoping.

“No, I didn’t.” He said carefully judging her reaction. “But I did, and we can’t go back and change that.”

She nodded. “I don’t want to.”

Max hadn’t been expecting that.

“I’ve grown up in the past five years, Max. I’m not little innocent Liz Parker anymore. You sure as anybody know that.” She looked at him. “I’m a mother. I have so many responsibilities lying on my shoulders. There’s a little girl who relies on me for everything. I’ve grown up, Max, you’re right. I did mature faster than you did, I had to.” She stood up.

“Max, I can’t even begin to explain what these last few years have been like for me.” She wanted to tell him about Hannah’s surgery. About how sick his daughter was, is. How she spends more time at daycare than with her. How she smiles like Max, how her eyebrows fold in contemplation like Max, how her ears peak out from behind her hair. But she didn’t.

Max hesitated for a moment. “I know.” He waited till she faced him again to continue. “But, Liz, you have to understand what it was like for me as well. I had no idea where my daughter was. I knew she was out there somewhere, in California. I didn’t know if she’d lost her first tooth, if she wanted a puppy, if she had one. I didn’t know what her first words were, when she took her first step.”

Liz’s eyes filled with tears as she looked back at him.

“I’m not saying that to hurt you, Liz, I just want you to understand how I was feeling too.” He said desperately. “I want to meet her, Liz. I want to help you. I feel stupid for signing those papers, giving up custody and control over my daughter.” He said quietly.

Liz’s head flew up, her eyes filled with panic. “You c-can’t take that from me, Max.”

“I don’t mean to.” He silenced her, taking her hand.

Her eyes searched his as continued on. “No. I don’t mean to. I just want to know her, let her know that I’m her father, that I love her.”

Liz was quiet for a moment and sat down. He had never said those words to her before. She remembered saying them to him, but never hearing him say them in return. “I, I don’t know what to, Max. You should meet your daughter, to get to know what a wonderful person she is.” She nodded, still looking at the ground. “She should know who her father is.”

“It doesn’t have to be right away. She doesn’t even have to know who I am, until later.”

“No, I’ve never lied to her. Y-you can meet her.” She conceded.

“Thank you. I’ll wait for whenever you feel she’s ready.”

Liz nodded and removed her hand. She glanced down at her watch. It had been two hours. Isabel was going to meet up with her for lunch at one right after her meeting, in time for a quick afternoon nap for Hannah before they went out that night.

”I have to go.” She said quickly.

“Ok.” He said reluctant to see her leave. “Give me a call.”

“I will. Goodbye.”

“Liz, just one thing.” He said before she walked away. He pulled her chin up to look at him. For a moment she was frightened he was going to kiss her.

“Tell me this, Liz, were you happy?”

Liz thought back to those frightened days as a young mother with a sick child. She thought of her tired, blistered feet. Hannah’s whimper as she awakened from her surgery. The doctor saying her baby girl would need surgery. The thought of the small apartment they lived in made her want to frown.

She thought of Maria and Alex who had been there for her. Of Amy and Jim Valenti who had supported her and helped her so much. Of Kyle. That made her want to frown more.

She thought of Hannah’s smile. She thought of the proud pictures on the refrigerator. The way Hannah loved her. She thought of the pouts and the rounds of arguments the girl could spout out at her young age. Hannah’s stubbornness. She thought of her first smile and how her heart had swollen with joy.

And as she thought, she knew she’d do it all over again for her baby girl.

She smiled slowly at Max as she thought everything over. “Yes, Max, I’m very happy. I’d do it all over again.”

TBC

Chapter 18

Liz sat in the cardiologist’s office, Hannah reading a book on the floor. She was showing a little girl pictures. “Cat.” Hannah pointed at the word.

Liz smiled her encouragement.

“Dog.” She went on. She looked at Liz to make sure she was listening.

“Dog and Cat.” The next page said. Liz looked down the book. This was one from the doctor’s office. She didn’t have this one at home which meant Hannah could actually read, or recognize, the words.

“Good job, Hannah.” Liz encouraged.

Kyle came up behind her and sat down. Hannah had yet to notice his presence.

“Fish.” Hannah said. “Dog, cat and fish.” She looked at Liz her eyes shining. “I did it, Mommy.” She jumped into her arms. Liz held her for a second feeling her heart beating frantically in her daughter’s chest.

Her eyes lit up. “Hi!”

”Mon Papillon.” He took her. “How are you?”

”Good.” She told him hugging him. She had never really been nervous at her doctor’s appointment, but today she was trembling.

“She ok?” Kyle asked.

Liz’s happiness turned to concern. She shook her head in the negative.

Kyle pulled back and raised Hannah’s chin so her eyes met his. He spoke softly to her in French. Tears filled her eyes as she nodded her head yes and buried her head into his shirt babbling on.

Liz’s heart constricted and tears filled her eyes as well as Kyle hugged Hannah close to him. His eyes rose and met hers.

Liz had heard every word echoing loud and clear. She was having trouble breathing. There might have to be another surgery. Liz shuttered and closed her eyes.

There was no money for another surgery.

“Parker, Hannah.” The MA called.

Standing with Hannah in his arms, he moved to the front door.

Hannah shot from his arms and into Liz’s. Liz’s arms came automatically around her and she rolled her eyes.

Hannah buried her face in Liz’s neck as they walked into the examination room.

****

Isabel reclined lazily on the beach. Alex was beside her and Serena and Maria on the other side. “So where are Liz and Hannah this fine afternoon?”

“Hannah had a doctor’s appointment.” Maria said.

Alex couldn’t keep his eyes off of Isabel. Good Lord, she was gorgeous.

“She, OK?” She asked.

“We don’t know.” Serena answered trying to keep her face neutral. “Liz wanted Kyle to be there though.”

Isabel looked at the red head through her glasses. “What does that mean?”

”It means that everything isn’t fine, there’s something Liz isn’t telling us.” Maria clarified. It wasn’t for them to tell Isabel about Hannah.

Isabel’s brows drew together. “Why would she tell Kyle?”

“She tells Kyle everything.” Serena told her quietly. Isabel eyed the woman next to her suspiciously.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, she just does.” Serena put her sunglasses back on and closed her eyes.

Isabel dwelled on it a little more before her eyes wandered back over to Alex.

He was rather cute, she finally admitted to herself, and if she wasn’t mistaken he hadn’t stopped looking over at her.

“What would be so wrong with Hannah that Liz wouldn’t tell you guys?” She asked innocently.

She was met with silence.

****

Liz blinked as she went over her finances. Hannah was going to need another corrective surgery, and there wasn’t any money in which to do it with.

Her insurance would cover some but it wasn’t enough. She wanted to cry. She put her head down on her arms.

She felt a small, sticky, hand on her shoulder. “Mommy?”

“Yes, Hannah bean.” She lifted her onto her lap.

“Love you.” Hannah said quietly.

“I love you too.” Liz kissed her neck.

Her heart was beating quickly and she knew she had just walked from the living room.

Liz’s own heart ached. She was going to have to move, in order to cover the cost of the surgery.

Hannah wrapped her arms around Liz’s neck so she was imprisoned. Liz didn’t mind and held her daughter all the tighter to her. “No work tomorrow?”

“No work tomorrow.” Liz smiled.

“When?”

“Next week.”

“Monday?”

”No, one week from Monday.” Liz told her.

Hannah’s eyes widened. That was a long time!

“Love you!” she turned and wrapped her arms firmly around her mother’s neck.

Later Serena returned to find Liz scanning the newspapers.

“What are you doing?” Serena asked, sitting down exhausted.

”Looking for an apartment.” Liz told her absently.

“Why?” Serena straightened, Liz wouldn’t look at her. “What’s wrong, Liz?” She asked.

“Hannah needs another corrective surgery. I can’t stay here, I don’t make enough.”

“Well, I could always shoulder your part of the rent for a few months.” Serena tried. She’d be more than happy to do so.

“No.” Liz shook her head. She still had her pride. She wouldn’t allow someone else to pay her rent as long as there was still a cheaper place she could move.

“Where will you go?” She asked.

“I don’t know yet.” Liz went back to the newspaper.

“What about Max?”

“What about him?”

“When is he going to meet her?”

“I don’t know. I have this week off.”

“Max?” Hannah piped up automatically. She was still very curious about who he was. Isabel had a picture of him in her wallet. “I see Max?”

Liz thought it would be a clever thing to have Max see Hannah before she goes into surgery.

“Go play in the other room for a minute, will you, Hannah bean?” Liz scooted her off her lap.

She watched as she went back and settled back down to watch Veggie Tales. “We have to go to another surgery.”

Serena’s face fell. “Oh, Liz.” She said her shoulders dropping. “When.”

“It’s not immediate but you can feel her heart beating faster.” Liz looked over at her daughter who was bobbing her head in time to the song on the music.

“Is that why Kyle went with you?” Serena asked.

Once again Liz’s eyes clouded over. She didn’t know where she stood with him. They had never brought it up before.

The credits rolled and Hannah came back to her mother. “I’m hungry.”

“Alright. What do you want?” She asked sliding her off her lap.

“Cereal.” She answered. “We can see Max tomorrow?” She asked while Liz prepared her cereal.

Liz trembled when her daughter asked the question. She stared down into the wide questioning eyes. “Why do you want to meet Max?”

Hannah shrugged. “Please?”

“Alright. I have to call him, but I don’t know if it’s tomorrow that you will meet him.”

It was sooner than she was hoping and she was planning on talking to Kyle but now would have to do.

****

“Hi, Max.” Liz said into the phone. She had realized that she had never given him her telephone number and it was always her doing the calling.

“Hello.” He said smiling at her voice.

“Hannah wants to meet you.”

The smile was wiped off his face. His breath came in on a sharp grasp. “She asked?”

”Yeah. She knows your name, I’ll explain to her who you are. Give me one more day?” She asked. “Sunday noon?”

“Sunday noon sounds good. The park?”

“The park.” Liz agreed.

She didn’t know what she was getting herself into. She contemplated calling Kyle but decided against it. This was between her, Max and Hannah.

Chapter 19
Liz picked up the phone and dialed the number she had memorized.

“Hello?” The voice sounded sleepy.

“Hi, Max, did I call too early?” She said worriedly.

“No, no.” He sat up trying to clear his head. Hearing her voice was not helping any.

“I’m sorry, I forget Hannah runs on a different schedule then normal people. She’s usually up by six thirty.” She glanced at the clock. It was a little past eight. “I can call later, so you can go back to sleep. I don’t recall you being a morning person.”

He liked the playful banter in her voice. She always had been a morning person.

“No, it’s fine.” He figured he’d might as well get used to Hannah’s unusual schedule.

“I’m gonna tell her today, Max.” her voice turned serious. “I’m giving her the decision if she wants to see you tomorrow.” Liz said. “I know it sounds weird, but she understands more than anyone could even guess. She’s really sensitive.”

“Are you going to introduce me as me or a friend?”

“You, her father.” Liz explained.

“Oh.”

“I’ll talk to her, Max, don’t be hurt if she doesn’t want to. It just means she wants to straighten out everything in her mind, questions, etc.” Liz explained.

“I understand.” Max cursed himself.

“Ok.”

“Mon Papillon!” Kyle had just let himself into the house.

“Kyle!” Hannah said excited. She eagerly ran into his arms.

“Who’s that?” Max asked before he could stop himself, curious of the male voice.

“A…friend.” Liz said looking at Kyle who was studying her.

“I have to go.” She told. “Sorry for waking you so early.

“Goodbye, Liz.” She smiled.

“Goodbye, Max.” She said before she could stop herself. Kyle’s eyes swung to her.

“Hello, Kyle.” Liz stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “What are you doing here.” She said holding the door open.

“I was had to bring something from my mom to Maria and I thought I’d stop by.” He shrugged and held onto Hannah. “I have a shift at ten, are you two up for breakfast?”

“Yes!” Hannah announced.

“That would be fine, but I have an appointment at eleven so we have to be back by then.” Liz said grabbing her purse.

“Can do, come on Mon Papillon.” He said and took Liz’s hand.

****

”So, what appointment do you have at ten?” Kyle asked.

“We have to get a new ‘partment.” Hannah stated.

“A new apartment?” Kyle repeated. “Where at?”

“Down the hill some.” Liz said hoping to drop the subject.

“Why?” There was two questions in the word. Why were they moving and why wasn’t he told about it.

“I just think it was time that we had a move.” Liz shrugged. She gave Kyle a look telling him not to pursue the matter.

He nodded.

“So tell me how it feels to be a kindergartener?” Kyle turned his question to Hannah.

“I start next week, Kyle.” Hannah said. Her school was on year round so she started in the middle of summer.

“But you aren’t in preschool so you’re a kindergartener.” Kyle explained.

Hannah just stared at him skeptical of what he said. “No.” She shook her head ate another chicken strip.
****

“Hannah bean, come here please.” Liz called from the bedroom.

“Les?” Hannah walked in and sat on the bed next to her mother. Her hair was pulled back in French braids hoping for it to crimp in the morning. She crawled under the covers.

“Did you like the new apartment?”

“Les.” She nodded. “It was really close to the park too. The one with the duckies.”

“Yes, very close to the duckies.” Liz smiled. “So you are happy with it.”

“Les. We’ll be far from Grandma Amy and Grandpa Jim and everybody.” She said sadly. “But they can come see us.”

“Yes they can.” Liz affirmed.

“Hannah, I need to tell you something, I’m gonna try to explain it to you, if you have any questions just ask, ok?” Liz looked at her daughter seriously.

“Alright.” Hannah nodded her head with as much seriousness a four year old could handle.

“We’re going to meet Max tomorrow.”

“Max.” Her whole face changed. Still there was something in her mother’s voice making her weary.

“Hannah, do you know who your daddy is?” Liz pulled her onto her lap.

Hannah looked down at her hands and shook her head.

“Did you know you had a daddy?” She asked.

“Allie told me everyone has a daddy.” Hannah said quietly uncomfortable with the conversation.

“Allie’s right.” Liz said. “Everyone has one.”

“Where is he?” Hannah asked.

“Sometimes daddyies don’t live with their families.” Liz explained. “Sometimes they can’t.”

“Why?” Hannah turned and looked at her in the face.

“Certain things happen, between mommies and daddies, but not because of the children.” Liz rushed to assure her.

“Where’s my daddy?” Hannah asked. She was curious. She’d never asked before but since her mother brought it up there didn’t seem to be any sense in avoiding it.

“You’re going to meet him tomorrow?” Liz said in an unsteady breath.

“Tomorrow.” Her face was a mixture of confusion. She didn’t know to be happy or excited.

“Max.” Liz said finally.

“Max, is my daddy?”

“Yes, sweetheart.” She nodded.

“Oh.” She had already met him. Once, but he hadn’t acknowledged her. She wasn’t so sure.

“Is that all right with you, because if you don’t want to you don’t have to.” Liz comforted her.

Hannah hesitated. She wasn’t sure. Would he like her, hate her. She squirmed a bit. Slowly she nodded.

“You sure?”

“Les.” She hugged her tight and crawled under the covers. “Love you, Mommy.”

“I love you too.” Liz replied and kissed her forehead.

She shut the door so only a small stream of light made it’s way across the floor.

She picked up the phone and dialed Max’s number.

****
“Hello?” Max picked up the phone out of breath.

“Max, did I catch you at a bad time?” Liz greeted.

“No, Ella got out and I just chased her up and down three flights of stairs.” He said trying to even out his breathing.

“Oh.” She said. “I can call back later.”

“No it’s fine, just hang on a second.” He put the phone down and firmly shut the door behind him. Liz heard a very firm ‘stay’ and a scampering of paws against the tile which indicated the dog had no regard for his master.

“Sorry about that.” He apologized.

“It’s fine. I just put Hannah to bed.” She stated.

Max’s heart still clenched at the sound of his child’s name.

“How is she?” He asked.

“She’s confused, Max. In her own way, I think she’s hurt too.” Liz told him. “I asked her if she wanted to meet you, and she’s ok with it.”

“Tomorrow?”

”Tomorrow,” Liz confirmed.

“Alright.” Max breathed out a nervous sigh. “Noon?”

“Yes.” Liz nodded even though he couldn’t see her. “Bye.”

“Wait, Liz.” He said quickly.

“Yes?” She asked.

“Thank you.” He said quietly.

“I would say no problem, but I’m not so sure about that yet.” She said. “Goodnight Max.”

“Goodnight, Liz.”

She hung up the phone and tried to still her rapidly beating heart. She wiped away the tears telling herself they were just from anger. But she would be lying to herself.

She slumped onto the couch next to the phone. It was hearing his voice again. Everytime he said her name it was like a warm caress. It filled an empty spot in her heart she thought she’d buried deep, telling herself it was her first love, made to be lost.

But she knew it was her first love, and most definitely going to be her last.



TBC

Thanks for waiting so long!