Safe (CC, Teen, 1/1) 10.18

[Lorastar]

<center>Safe
Lorastar
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Roswell is the property of someone else.
Summary: It's been six weeks since the gang left Roswell. Six long weeks.</center>


They say you have to do something forty times before it becomes a habit.

So I guess this is a habit now.

Every night for the last forty nights, as darkness comes, I sit on a rock in the middle of the forest staring at the stars. I wait for the first one and close my eyes. Make a wish.

I wish Max would find me.

Every night for the last forty nights.

Ever since the FBI was right on our tail. Every night since we all broke up in order to save our lives. Our rationale was simple: if they catch us, they don’t catch us all.

Unfortunately, it’s torture not knowing if anyone’s been caught. We have no way of communicating with each other.

I swear I can feel him sometimes, through our connection, as I’m falling asleep. It’s comforting. He tells me something I can’t quite remember in the morning. But it’s something along the lines of

I’m safe. They didn’t get me. Where are you?

I laugh at the word safe. We aren’t safe. We all gave up safety the moment Max Evans saved my life that fateful day.

We’re not safe.

I wish I could tell him the same thing. That I’m safe.

They didn’t get me.

So I guess I am safe.

Just lost.

~*~*~*~*

Isabel puts down the bag and looks at me.

She smiles. But it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Liz.”

Her voice is calm, comforting.

Tears spring to my eyes.

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen someone I know. Someone I trust.

She looks at me, her eyes open wide.

I’m a mess.

How long has it been since I’ve been in civilization? Taken a decent shower and had the opportunity to brush my hair properly?

41 days.

It’s been a long time.

She grabs my hand and pulls me closer. I don’t touch her, though. Don’t want her to be tainted with the odor that I’m surrounded by. She waves her hand over me, making me cleaner, prettier.

Max wouldn’t understand if he saw me this way.

She hugs me.

I hug her back.

I’m happy to see her, my future sister-in-law.

“It’s over.” She tells me.

I nod, even though I don’t know for sure what she’s talking about.

She laughs.

“Topolsky. After all that happened, Topolsky came through for us. The Special Unit, it’s over for good this time. She ordered every previous member under arrest. I’m sure there are some floating around, resisting, but most of them, the heavy hitters, they’re gone.

“They’re gone for good, Liz.”

I smile.

Finally.

“And just in case, Topolsky is giving us new identities. We don’t have to run for our lives any longer. We’re safe.”

There’s that word again.

Wait.

In order to be safe, I no longer can be Liz Parker?

I shrug.

I didn’t plan on being Liz Parker much longer anyway.

“We can go home.”

Home.

Where is home?

We left Roswell six weeks ago. Left the only home we’d ever known. The only home some of us had ever had. But now, we’re safe. We can choose our own lives. Live wherever and as whoever we want to be.

We’re safe.

Isabel laughs, and pulls out a pair of clean clothes for me. She pulls me behind a structure in the woods and hands them to me. I nod and change. The clothes I’ve been wearing for the past 42 days are beyond repair.

I wouldn’t want them, anyway.

Bad memories and all.

“I don’t know if I want to go back.”

There’s nothing really left there for her.

She has her parents, just like me. But everything else, is gone. The people we need the most in this world are all with us. We’re together, and that’s what matters.

Plus, we’re safe.

“Jesse?” I ask quietly, trying to remember what it’s like to talk.

She shrugs and looks at her naked hands.

Her marriage is over.

They both already knew it.

“I don’t think I love him enough.”

I nod. I already knew it.

Their marriage was over from the minute they said “I do.”

But they already knew it.

“I still miss him. He’s still the last thing I think about before falling asleep. Sometime…sometimes I could swear he’s still with me. His arms wrapped around me tightly, protecting me as I drift off.”

She’s not talking about Jesse anymore.

I grab her hand.

We sit on a fallen tree staring out at the forest.

“And sometimes I just feel so guilty. It was knowing me that caused his death.”

I grip her hand tighter.

“Nothing could be farther from the truth. Alex loved you, but you’re not the reason he died. Blame the murderer, blame Tess. She killed him. She used him. You didn’t. You were trying to love him the best you could.”

She winces.

I continue.

“You want to blame the person who got him involved? Blame me, then. I was the one who told him the truth, I’m the one who asked him to give us his blood when Max was in the hospital. I’m the one who asked him to expose Topolsky, to trust us and not her.”

She snorts.

Funny how that one turned out.

“But I don’t blame myself. I blame Tess. She’s the one who choose to kill Alex.”

Tears form in her eyes.

But they don’t belong there.

Not anymore.

“It’s not my fault?”

Her voice is soft, choked.

“No.”

I hug her again.

She clings to me.

“Let’s get you home.”

I nod.

I was lost, but now I’m found.

*~*~*~*~*

Max’s eyes light up when he sees me step out of the Jeep.

Like in a movie, everything slows down.

We run at each other, arms open wide.

I fling myself into his arms and he spins me around.

Huge smiles on our faces.

I’m safe now.

We all are.