REMEMBRANCE CC M/L mature ch9 23/02/06 [WIP]

[Kylie the control freak]

TITLE:REMEMBRANCE
COUPLES: CC mostly M/L
RATING: umm.... mature
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing... do you honestly think things would have turned out the way they did if i had my way?
SUMMARY: that would be giving the story away. however, this story is about Liz and the man she loves. this story has been taking up space in my head for over a year, but now that I'm a free woman (HIGHSCHOOL IS FINALLY OVER!!!!) I actually have time to have a life outside of senior study. ENJOY!!!



PROLOGUE:


For as long as he could remember, Maxwell Alexander Evans had always been fascinated by that feeling of meeting someone for the very first time. But what enthralled him the most was the notion that sometimes, if you were lucky, you could find someone who you connected with; someone that just automatically made sense to you.

After the accident, he’d experienced that feeling a lot; the instinctive awareness that you knew someone without having a clue as to who the hell they were. It had been frustrating, irritating, scary and depressing at first that he couldn’t remember even the simplest things, but eventually the feeling had faded. Pieces of his memories slowly came back; small glimpses of his past that allowed him enough of a sense of who he was that he was able to drown out the nagging whisper of all that lay forgotten with new experiences, faces and places.

He’d been thinking about that feeling a lot lately.

From what he gathered, he’d never had a serious relationship before the accident. In fact, his first hadn’t been for nearly 4 years after the accident. He’d met Tess Harding at one of his mother’s parties. His father had introduced them and sometimes he wondered if it hadn’t been part of one of his master plans. He’d written her off of course the first time he’d seen her. But after hearing of her accomplishments, he was unable to contain his interest. At the mere age of 21 she ran the entire advertising department for one of the world’s largest pharmaceutical companies and oversaw most development. He hadn’t learnt till later that her father owned the company.

Their relationship had been awkward at first. Or at least, it had been awkward for him. The simplest things filled him apprehension; there would be moments when they would touch, kiss, make love… where things would just feel wrong. Eventually though, the feeling passed as he grew accustomed to her.

He supposed that was when he fell in love with her.

Before he knew it, 2 years had passed.

And now he was getting married. In just over a month’s time.

Drifting around the ballroom, he held Tess’ hand as she showed off her ring to her family and colleagues… but most importantly to her friends. She had after all been the one to finally snag the elusive Zander Evans. Zan wasn’t ignorant to the fact that he was considered quite a catch and he was not blind enough not to notice the way his fiancee’s friends took every opportunity they could get their hands on, to try and get their hands on him.
He supposed that was why none of them had been asked to be bridesmaids at the wedding.

Allowing tess to lead him, Zan dutifully followed her towards a table in the back corner that surprisingly held the bridesmaids. Those closest and dearest.

“Okay honey, I’d like you to meet our bridesmaids,” Tess smiled as she gestured firstly towards two bespectacled red heads. “These are my cousins Candice and Carly and… where’s Elizabeth?” Looking around her, Tess searched for the petite brunette.

Zander was oblivious to his future wife’s frustration as he greeted each of the twins and shook their hands. They quickly fell into small talk about the wedding, only to be interrupted by Tess’ sudden exclamation as she spotted her. Tugging on Zan’s sleave, Tess turned him around as she made the introductions.

“Zander, I’d like you to meet our other bridesmaid, Elizabeth Parker.”

“Hello Elizabeth. It’s nice to meet you.” his greeting was polite enough as he stuck out his hand, but though his words were directed towards her, his attention had been drawn towards a colleague who had called out to say goodbye as he headed towards the exit. When he looked back at her, Zan was surprised by the clear hesitation she showed as she looked at his hand. It was evident that she was upset; her tears evident in the way her eyes glimmered and gleamed under the soft lights decorating the room.

When she finally placed her hand in his; he could feel it shaking. And then, without a word she withdrew it, turned and quickly left the room. Zan shared a quizzical look with his fiancee before turning his attention back towards the retreating figure.

She was almost running.

Thinking back on the look in her eyes, Zan felt a long forgotten melancholy weight settle across his heart.

He hated to see a woman cry. And that’s all the thought he gave it.

[Kylie the control freak]

i'm so glad that people are finding an interest in this story!!! Unfortunately, however, things are going to be revealed slowly so your questions are going to have to remain unanswered...

thanks for the feedback and i hope you enjoy this part. it's only short... but i reckon it's better than nothing.

see you soon!!!


CHAPTER ONE:

The first time liz parker met him she thought he was an ass.

She had just started her final year of high school when he’d shown up one afternoon at her family’s restaurant. He’d sat down in one of the back booths in her section and she’d almost done a happy dance right there on the spot. He was gorgeous.

To say she was surpised by his manner towards her was an understatment; she’d gone over to take his order only to have him completely ignore her. Now Liz hadn't expected him to fall at her feet but she had expected he'd at least give her the courtesy of looking at her when he spoke. But no, he'd just sat there, staring at the menu.

She couldn't believe his attitude. She'd automatically asumed he was a tourist and it wasn't until later that she learnt that his appearance was a permanent one.He had just moved to town with his parent's and would be starting school on Monday.

He was flithy rich and Liz could only deduce that that was the cause of his rudeness. she vowed that from then on, she would ignore his very existnece. As far as she was concerned, he lived in Zimbabwe.

Of course, her plan was shot to hell the following monday when she discovered him in her first period English class and later in several other classes. They'd even been assigned as lab partners in biology.

Altogether, it was proving difficult to ignore his existence.

*************************************************************

“What’s wrong, Liz? Liz? What happened?” Maria Deluca didn’t know what to do. One minute she’d been watching some crappy reality tv show and the next, Liz had barged into the room, crying hysterically. Maria hadn’t seen her like this for years but she still remembered what she had to do, and she knew that right now, Liz didn’t need her hysterics. She needed to talk. No matter how bad it was, or how much it hurt.

“Open the door sweetie.” her voice was softer now; the panic gone, replaced with a more gentle tone. Her change in attitude was rewarded by an almost imperceptible click.

Slowly opening the door, Maria walked into the room, quickly crouching down onto the floor and gathering her friend in her arms. They sat there for ages; Maria just holding her, stroking her hair while she cried it all out. As the harsh sobs wracking liz’s body decreased, Maria pulled back to look her in the face. From experience, Maria knew that Liz had to cry it all out. It was her way and even though it hurt Maria to hear her sounding so broken, she knew that Liz needed her there. But Maria had never seen her look so broken.

“I saw him Maria. I saw him.” Her words sounded strange as they came out, not in a whisper, but in a deep, husky, tear-strewn voice. Maria didn’t know how it was possible, but she knew to trust in what Liz was telling her. And she knew.

Liz Parker hadn’t cried it all out… she’d simply run out of tears.

*************************************************************

The first time Liz Parker met him she thought he was an ass… sometimes she wished that he’d never proven her wrong.

[Kylie the control freak]

thanks for all the feedback. although it's a bit difficult to follow the whole Max/Zan thing right now, i can't give away the reason for the change. all i will say is that before the 'accident' he was Max and after he was Zan. the reason for this will be revealed later.

ENJOY!!!!


Chapter 2:

“Why are you calling me Maria? Friday night is date night… and I’ve actually got a date!” Even over the phone, Kyle’s tone clearly revealed his irritation at being interrupted. He’d finally bagged a date with Mandy, a buxom red head who worked at Starbucks and he’d made it clear that he was off limits. And now he had to deal with Maria.

“God Kyle, because I love you and missed the sound of your voice.” Maria replied sarcastically as she rolled her eyes.

“I need a favour, you moron.” Maria knew that her stepbrother had high hopes for the night, but this overrode everything. Even dates. Maria didn’t care how great her cappuccinos were or how big her breast were.

“Funny, you’re the one who needs a favour… and you’re calling the person who you want to help you, a moron.” Kyle bit back, only to be silenced by Maria’s somewhat overwhelming voice.

“I need you to find out everything you can about a Maxwell Alexander Evans.”

“Evans… do you mean…”

“Yeah.” Maria replied wearily as she looked at Liz’s curled up form on the bed. He was going to be so sorry.

*************************************************************

“I keep having these dreams.” Zan explained sheepishly, as he looked anywhere but at the doctor. After the accident, his parents had insisted he see a psychiatrist. Even after the doctor at the time had said that he was fine. He’d continued his sessions for them, but after a while had begun to appreciate having someone to talk to… a neutral third party who would listen and give him advice without having some kind of ulterior motive.

“They‘re about this woman… a woman who is not my fiancé,” he elaborated as he noticed Dr. Jonas’ curious expression. Psychiatrists loved to talk about dreams.

“Are they… sexual?”

“NO!” Zan answered quickly. Too quickly. “Well, mainly no.” he amended as he looked at the Doctor’s disbelieving face.

“Okay. Zan that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Tell me about them... about this woman.” Simon Jonas looked at his patient expectantly as he pushed his owlish glasses further up his nose.

“Well, first off, she’s real.” Automatically Zan knew how bad this sounded. He was getting married and here he was fantasising about another woman he had met for only a split second. “But I’ve only met her once… actually I hardly met her at all. She works with Tess and she’s one of the bridesmaids for the wedding.”

“And the dreams?” Simon interjected as he noticed that he was beginning to ramble, totally ignoring the pertinent issue at hand.

“They’re strange. Most of them we’re in these bizarre banal situations… like watching a movie, or walking in the park… dancing. Some we’re more… intimate.” Zan paused as he felt the flush creeping up his neck. This whole situation was absolutely mortifying.

“In some we’re kissing, touching…” He knew he was slowly getting off topic again. “You see, the thing is I’m me and she’s her, but it’s not us.” Zan’s gestures were becoming increasingly pronounced as he became more anxious about the situation. He was supposed to marry Tess next month and here he was fantasising about another woman. Zan couldn’t help but wonder what the hell was wrong with him. “We don’t even look the same. God, in some of them, we’re in high school! What do you think this means?”

“Zan," Dr Jonas began as he looked at the agitated young man in front of him. "You barely have any memories of your life before the accident. Two years that you can barely account for. You have this… huge part of your life that’s missing. Now, you had no serious relationships before and until Tess, had none after. In my opinion, this is nothing serious. Your subconscious is using this woman to recreate a part of your life that you missed out on… that first love, high school romance is important to a person and their development and I believe that unintentionally, you are attempting to fill in the void left by your memory loss.”

That sounded positively rational to Zan. It made complete sense. But where exactly did this leave him. How was he supposed to act around this woman when he'd been subconsciously picturing her naked?

“So what should I do? Should I avoid her?”

Dr Jonas thought carefully before answering Zan. “I don’t believe avoiding her will help the situation. Although it will no doubt be awkward at first, being around her is what you need… you need to be able to separate your creation from reality.”

*************************************************************

Liz’s mind was full of jumbled thoughts and memories as she lay on her bed pretending to be asleep. She really didn’t want Maria to worry anymore than she already was and she didn’t feel up to talking. She was too absorbed in the past… in the boy that she remembered, to think about her discovery of the man that he had become. The man she had been told he would never be.

She couldn’t help but remember the first time she'd seen him smile; the way it made her feel to know that the first time he had chosen to reveal even the smallest part of himself, had been with her. That had been the first time that she had believed that there was something special about Max Evans.

Liz ran around her room, frantically trying to clean it up before he arrived. God, Max Evans was coming to her house. Glancing around her room, Liz sighed in defeat. She knew that no matter how much she cleaned it, it wouldn’t be what he was used to. She lived above a restaurant and he practically lived in a mansion. Actually, there was no ‘practically’ about it… his house was monstrous. She just… she just didn’t want him to judge her. She wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed about what her parents did or the fact that they lived above their restaurant, but she hated the thought that he would look down upon her because of it.

Her father usually wouldn’t have let her have a boy in her room without some form of supervision, but he’d finally relented when she’d questioned his distrust in her. So, Jeff Parker had relented and given her permission to sit out on her balcony with her partner. After all, it was a warm and clear evening and they had an important project to work on.

Rushing downstairs to the Crashdown, Liz immediately spotted Max sitting at the exact same booth he always seemed to sit in.

“Hi, I hope you haven’t been waiting to long.” Liz apologised as she walked over to him. He’d merely replied that he’d just arrived and followed her as she led him through the back door and up to the apartment.

“Your home is nice.” Liz couldn’t help but squirm at his remark.

“I’m sure it’s not exactly what your used to.” Much to Liz’s surprise, her sardonic comment rolled straight off his back as he simply shrugged and with a half-smile replied that it certainly wasn’t.

“All the houses I’ve been in look like no-one lives in them. I don’t even think my house really has any pictures of family and friends in it,” he explained as he gestured at all the photos that adorned the walls and shelves of her home.

It was an unusual compliment but Liz understood that what he was saying extended beyond the décor of her living room. As she led him further into the apartment towards her room, she couldn’t help but think that even though the sight of him smiling had only been fleeting, it had been one of the most beautiful she had ever seen.

[Kylie the control freak]

I'M BACK!!!!

Thanks MsBlueIce for the info... this really helps the timeline come together.

in response to Erina258's question, all i can say to explain his ignorance about the nature of the dreams is the fact that he's been informed about his past by some people who he had no reason to question.

also, Liz has reasons for not telling him. First of all, the shock of seeing him and also a more personal reason that i hope i've revealed in this chapter.

I'm really glad everyone's liking this, and you are all spurning me on to write like a mad woman.

Chapter 3:


“What did you find?” Maria didn’t believe in beating around the bush. She’s wasn’t going to pretend that she was here for any other reason and pretend to be interested in some ridiculous conversation that was sure to ensue about the weather or pro-football.

“Shouldn’t Liz be here for this?”

“She doesn’t know that I got you to do this. in fact, Liz doesn't have much of an idea about anything that's going on, Kyle. She hasn't left her room since she got home on Friday... now tell me everything and I can tell her if its important enough."

“Okay. Maxwell Alexander Evans born…”

*************************************************************

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

Liz woke up with a start, drenched in sweat as she frantically looking around her surroundings.

Looking for him.

As everything slowly came back to her, she began to cry. She should be over this… she had been so close to being over this. But now all of the past was being stirred up again. Everything was different. And a lie. They’d all lied to her. But for him to just stand there; cool and collected as if she was a stranger.

As if they didn’t have a past.

As if they hadn’t meant everything to each other at one time. But that was just another lie wasn’t it?

But God knew, he’d meant everything to her.

*************************************************************

Liz was still lying on the bed when Maria came home. For a moment, Maria had held on to a hope that she’d be sitting at the kitchen table having a coffee. Or sitting in the lounge room watching tv. Or having a shower. Just doing something… anything. She didn’t know why though, this wasn’t the first time Liz hadn’t been able to get out of bed. Or shower. Or read books. Or go out.

Or do anything but cry and think of him.

“Liz?”

“Just go away Maria. Please… just… go away.”

Running a hand through her long blonde hair, Maria thought about the best way to approach this. She decided on the band aid approach. She’d just be direct.

“I made Kyle do a search on him.”

Liz’s head shot up. Maria was glad that something had finally gotten her attention.

“Maria! Why can’t you leave this alone?”

“Because… my brother is a private slash major dick with connections that can help us understand what’s going on here.” Maria’s voice softened as her eyes filled with tears. “Because… I don’t want you to be stuck in this room for hours and days and weeks because you can’t get out of bed... and because I don’t want your life to stop for another three months because Max Evans has come back into your life as suddenly as he’d left it.”

Although the tears had already begun to run down her cheeks, Maria blinked her eyes several times as she tried to compose herself.

“I’ll skip all the boring stuff that you probably already know and get to the important things. On the 7th of August, 1999”, Maria paused as she saw her friend flinch upon hearing the date, “Maxwell Alexander Evans, aged 18, was involved in a severe car accident. He sustained major head injuries and was in a coma for 2 months. His medical records report that he suffered no serious brain damage, but that he had… he had lost a substantial amount of his short term memory specifically concerning the previous two years of his life.”

“Maria.” Hearing the soft whisper of her name, Maria looked up to see the tears streaking down her friend’s face. Without a second thought, she rushed to her side, quickly enveloping Liz in her arms as her sobs became more pronounced. They sat there for what felt like hours as Liz cried and as Maria cried with her. When Liz’s tears began to subside, Maria looked down at her huddled form and decided that she had to finish what she’d started.

“The report states that the accident occurred late at night after his jeep hit a patch of water on the road that caused him to lose control. It says that he was the only casualty and that… he was the only one in the car.”

*************************************************************

“You don’t have to do this, you know that right?”

Maria couldn’t believe how different Liz had been when she had woken up the next morning. She’d gotten out of bed, had breakfast, a shower and had even glanced at the front of the paper. Although this had been exactly what she had wanted, she knew there was something serously wrong with this picture. Liz was standing at the dink doing the washing up. Washing up didn’t get done till after work.

“I’m okay.” At Maria’s sceptical look, Liz quietly amended her previous statement. “Please believe me when I say that I am very close to being okay.”

Even with her back turned to Maria, Liz knew that a rant was about to begin as she heard a deep intake of breath.

“You might think that now, but what about when you see him? What about when you see them? Do you really think that you can stand up there while he marries her? Smile and pose for pictures with them that they’ll stick in some fancy wedding scrapbook and blow up to life-size proportions to stick on their walls? Do you think you can handle that? Will you still be almost okay then?”

“Of course that will hurt Maria! Is that what you want me to say?” Liz exploded as she turned suddenly to face her roommate, her wet and soapy hands causing a puddle to form at her feet. “But I’ve got to do this… I need to understand that he’s not my Max anymore. God, six years have passed. We’ve been apart longer than we were together.”

Composing herself, Liz continued on in a frighteningly upbeat voice. “Maybe things worked out for the best. WhenI thought he…" but she couldn't say it. "Before he was always my Max. He was perfect and I couldn’t move on from all that. But now… now he’s someone else's. He doesn’t even go by Max anymore, Maria. I need you to accept the fact that I’ve got to do this. I need to be able to separate them.”

Maria looked at Liz from across the room, a contrite look on her face. “I’m sorry sweetie… I just... i don't think that this will all work out like that. Why can’t you just tell him?”

Although it was quickly covered up, Maria didn’t miss the pain that had flashed across Liz’s face.

“Because.” Liz knew instinctively that there was no chance in hell Maria would let it rest at that. “… He forgot me Maria. He forgot all about us… just like that. And what makes you think it won’t work out? Do you think i'm that weak?”

Maria knew that she was trying to distract her from the actual topic, but she wasn't going to bite. "Because." At Liz's exasperated look, Maria continued with a ghost of a smile on her face. “This is Max and Liz we’re talking about.”

[Kylie the control freak]

So many Questions... i'm glad this has got you all thinking. Unfortunately, all you conspiracy theorists are just going to have to wait!!!

this part is only short; a simple diary entry, but I figue that a little something is better than nothing.

ENJOY!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 4a.

October 19th 1999

It’s now a month into my senior year and I feel as if I’m on my way to achieving my dreams. Harvard is within sight. Max will be coming over later to study and I can’t help but wonder about him sometimes. He’s nothing at all like I had first imagined and yet he is not like anybody else I have met. He’s not arrogant or pretentious and he doesn’t brag about his obvious wealth. But he is shy. Over the last couple of weeks his become sort of like a friend although I’m not sure if such a definite label explains what exists between Max and I.

The first day he showed up, I was a bit shocked to see him and even more so when he suggested we study together. Now its like some kind of ritual; as normal a part of my day as going to school, or brushing my teeth or working in the Crashdown. Sometimes we talk about things; stuff about school, but also about our favourite authors and musicians, about what we want to be and where we see our lives going. And sometimes, we don’t talk at all. But it’s not strange or awkward and even though we spend half of our time in silence, I can’t help but notice his absence when he can’t make it.

We talk about his sister, Isabel, too, but he rarely mentions his parents. I’ve seen them around town though; his mom in her designer outfits shopping at the grocery town and his father driving in and out of town in his shiny BMW. It’s obvious that they have all these expectations for him in the way that he talks about the future. His plans are always purposely vague and I can’t help but feel that he does it so that he’s not embarrassed later… so that I don’t think less of him when he has to give up all his dreams later on. It at times like this when he smiles his little half smile; not the one I saw that first day, but rather one that shows his disappointment and shame at not being strong enough. It’s the smile that shows me that a little part inside of him is dying every time he negates all the hopes and dreams and wishes that exist within him. And it only makes me question how they don‘t see it.

And that only makes me wonder about a million other things. Do they know where their son goes everyday? How would they feel about him spending his afternoons and nights on a balcony above the local fast-food joint?

And what would they think of me?
*************************************************************
TBC.

[Kylie the control freak]

hey everyone, i'm back! aorry this part has taken so long, but it really needed some work before i thought it was decent enough to post. i should hopefully be back before thursday with a new part, but don't hold me to it. My brother, his wife and my goregous little niece are visiting, and i'm going away for my cousin's wedding this weekend. I will make sure i do some writing then, and that way i just have to type it up later!!!

hope you all like this part!!!!


CHAPTER 4b:

“Melissa, send Elizabeth in.”

Taking a deep breath in, Liz smiled politely at the receptionist and entered the office. Tess’ office. She could do this. Standing nervously in the centre of the spacious room, Liz waited for further instruction. She knew she could do this.

Looking up momentarily from her computer screen, Tess waved one carefully manicured hand towards the seat in front of her, gesturing for Liz to sit.

“I’ve just found out this morning that I am required to go away for business. This is, apparently, something that my father is incapable of taking care of.” Tess paused dramatically , her irritation more than obvious.

“It concerns a major deal with a company in Japan whom we are still in negotiations with. Unfortunately, I will be away for at least the next fortnight.” At Liz’s blank expression, Tess quickly continued. “Obviously, I will need someone here to coordinate the wedding plans… Zan cannot exactly be expected to deal with the florists and dress-makers. As my head bridesmaid and as a friend,” Tess smiled, “I automatically thought of you. Now I know that I could simply hire someone but I want my wedding, not some carbon copy of the latest celebrity’s trip down the isle. I’m also aware that your behaviour on Friday was not particularly stellar, but I’m willing to overlook it. I’m trusting you with a very important job here Elizabeth, and I know you wouldn't think of letting me down.”

Liz was so dumbfounded she could only think of one thing. She hated being called Elizabeth.

“Now that that’s all settled,” Tess smiled once again although this time in obvious dismissal, “you can get back to work. I will have my plans sent down to your office later.”

Getting up as if in a daze, Liz slowly turned and walked out of the room, but it wasn’t until she had reached the safety of her lab, that she was able to fully comprehend everything that had just transpired.
She was going to coordinate the wedding.

His wedding.

It was all settled.

And she hadn’t even said a word.

*************************************************************

Wiping her sweaty palms on her lilac skirt, Liz’s gaze darted towards the front door of the restaurant. She couldn’t believe she was actually going to do this.

“Elizabeth?”

At the sound of her name, Liz’s body instinctively tensed, and she chided herself for her automatic reaction to the sound of his voice. She hated that the soft rise and fall of his voice now filled her with trepidation. Carefully schooling her features, Liz urge her body to relax before turning to face him.

“Hi.”

“Hello.” Liz watched as he took the seat across from her, all the while smiling at her expectantly. It was her turn to say something again.

Looking around at her surroundings, Liz tried frantically to think of something intelligent to say. She was willing to do anything to dissipate the awkward silence that had settled over their table.

Opening her mouth, Liz prayed for divine inspiration, and said the first thing that came to mind.

“I didn’t see you… come in. I was looking at the door… and I didn’t see you. Of course, you did come in though. Obviously.” Liz paused as a nervous chuckle broke forth. “I must have just missed you.”

“There’s two entrances. One in the front and one in the back.”

“Oh” God. She was a complete fool… but at least now she knew she had another exit; she could just get up and-

“Excuse me, I’ve got to use the bathroom.”

She was losing it.

*************************************************************

“Elizabeth?” Zan queried as he gazed at the back of her head. On the way over, he’d determined that he was going to play it cool. He couldn’t let her think that he’d recognised her as soon as he’d walked in… even though he had. After all, he was supposed to have only met her once. Dreams or… fantasies just didn’t count.

Zan couldn’t help but notice that she’d worn her hair down. Just like he’d imagined. He’d always considered himself, a fairly intelligent man, but standing there, staring at her hair, Zan couldn’t help but wonder at his apparent fascination with something as trivial as her hair. She was so beautiful… and here he was, hung up on her hair-do. No wonder he was still seeing a psychiatrist.

As he sat and made himself comfortable on the chair, Zan could only pray that he didn’t make an idiot out of himself.

While their greetings were polite enough, Zan was not fooled. The discomfort at the table was palpable and if he hadn’t already picked up on it, their opening conversation would have made it obvious. She was rambling. He knew it and she knew it.

Watching her walk off, Zan groaned, banging his head down against the table. This was all his fault. She’d obviously picked up on his weird vibes.

He knew he would be surprised if she even came back to the table, but if by some miracle she did, Zan was determined to do better. He had a feeling they could get along well if given the opportunity. Now all he had to do was get the image of her naked out of his mind.

*************************************************************

Looking at herself appraisingly in the mirror, Liz wondered if he still found her beautiful. Things had changed so much that she couldn’t be sure. But, some things had stayed the same… no matter how much she tried. Running her hand through her hair, Liz’s thoughts drifted to his. He wore it shorter now. Before, it had hung over his ears to curl around his neck. She’d thought it sexy. Now, it was short back and sides. But it suited him. Brought out his eyes.

And it was still sexy.

He even smiled more now, polite grins that showed of his beautifully straight pearly teeth. Although they weren’t like the ones she remembered. And she had plenty of memories. Standing there comparing them, Liz was suddenly hit with a wave of guilt. It wasn’t right to measure them up against each other. It wasn’t fair to who he was now and who he had been.

Quickly making a decision, Liz turned and walked out of the bathroom and towards the table before she could rethink her decision. Sitting down at the table, Liz cast an
apologetic smile at Max, no Zan, as she sat down.

“I’m sorry for before. I’ve just had some… stuff… on my mind.”

“It’s alright. I’m sure Tess has you practically running in circles over the wedding,” Zan chuckled lightly. “How about we just sit here and… have lunch. There’s plenty of time to discuss the wedding later.”

Nodding her approval, Liz surreptitiously watched him as he inspected the menu, before doing the same.

“So Zan, what do you do? Tess never did say.”

In her heart, Liz hoped that he’d say he was a doctor, or an architect, or a writer… anything other than-

“I’m a lawyer.”

Liz wasn’t surprised.

*************************************************************
Friday 22nd October 1999

It was last period and Liz couldn’t believe how bored she was. As the teacher started on his usual tirade about talking during study, Liz turned to the receivers of his address, sharing a roll of the eyes and a sympathetic smile with the girl closest to her. Liz recognised her straight away as a girl from her English class. Turning back towards the front, Liz racked her brains trying to think of her name.

“Liz.” At the soft whisper of her name, Liz once again twisted in her seat to face… Sarah. Her name was Sarah. At Liz’s questioning glance, the other girl simply smiled, furtively holding out a piece of paper. Throwing a glance at the teacher, Liz swiftly seized the offered pink folded sheet.

After smiling one final time at Sarah, Liz opened the piece of paper, careful all the while not to attract Mr Bateman’s attention.

It was some kind of questionnaire. All the typical questions were there. Liz couldn’t help but laugh as she read question one: who do you have a crush on?

Really Original stuff. Half-heartedly Liz began answering the questions, but recognised that things were quickly deteriorating as she reached question 13: Which guy in school has the best butt?

Reaching the bottom of the page, Liz stared at the final question posed and couldn’t help but wonder.

No. 25: Who lights your fire?

What an odd question.

*************************************************************

The survey was still playing on her mind that night as she sat studying with Max. They were working on their biology homework on chromosomal activity and inheritance and Liz felt as if they’d been at it for hours. Looking up at Max, Liz was about to suggest they take a break, when she found him already looking at her. She couldn’t avoid his gaze and something told her that in that moment, something had changed.

Licking her lips in nervousness, Liz watched as he closed the small gap that existed between them.

His lips were soft and gentle. They glided over her own, slowly applying more pressure as his hands came up to cup her face. Liz felt like sighing until suddenly they weren’t there anymore.

Slowly opening her eyes, It was Liz’s turn to stare at him.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I just… couldn’t not kiss you.” Gathering his books up in his hands, Max began to stand, “I should-”

His Farewell was cut short as Liz quickly rose up on her knees, pulling his face closer to hers until they were practically sharing the same breath of air.

“Don’t be sorry.”

This time neither was as gentle. Sucking his lower lip in between to own lips, Liz waited for him to open up. As their enthusiasm rose, her arms wound around his neck, unwilling to let him go just yet.

And at that moment; on her balcony, with a light autumn breeze blowing around her and her candles flickering, Liz knew.

She burned for Max Evans.

[Kylie the control freak]

Hi guys i'm back!!!

i felt that it was time to answer some of your questions (or at least try) as my way of thanking you all for reading my story.


Lazza:

why can’t Max be a lawyer? In high school did he have a passion for everything and anything but law?

This will be revealed soon. Probably in the next chapter. Also, i think we all burn for Max Evans!!!

IceQueen:

I’m surprised that Tess would ask her to handle the wedding for her. It doesn’t even seem like they are friends so why would Liz be the head bridesmaid?

The reason why Liz is head bridesmaid is revealed in the prologue. Basically, it’s because Tess doesn’t have that many friends or at least true ones. She doesn’t share a relationship like Liz shares with Maria with anyone. While she has plenty of ‘friends’, these women are shallow society women who would take any opportunity they could to try and get Zan for themselves. He is a very big catch.

In regards to Tess ‘asking’ Liz to organise the wedding for her, notice how she doesn’t really ask? Tess is very much a woman used to getting what she wants. More about their relationship will be revealed later and i've decided to add an extra little bit in the next chapter to further explain why the job has fallen to Liz.

hopefully this has answered begonia9508's question also.

Emz80m:
while things would be a lot simpler if liz just told him, i'd have no story!!! also, i want Max/Zan to develop feelings for her, ones that are tied to but ultimately separate from who he was.

anonymousarfan:

WHen will he tell her what happened to him?!?!??!

let's just say that Liz already knows and while she knows that he didn't forget about her on purpose, there is a part of her, a big part that is holding her back because she knows how special what they had was... and he just forgot about all of it. it wasn't his fault in any way, but i guess liz just feels betrayed and let down. this point will be developed later when we look at the time of the accident and the events leading up to it.

BehrObsession:
you've hit the nail on the head concerning several points but... telling which ones would give away too much!!!!

Erina258:
i'm glad you're liking it so far

sam_me:
glad you're liking it and you've raised some points that i plan to address in a flashback very soon. also, i think if it was me, it would have also gotten violent by now, but hey, i guess i'm just that type of person.

also, Maria is going to get involved in her own way. there's nothing like a meddling best friend!!!

v33n3ss:
ou're right on the money with that one, but i wouldn't exactly say 'pushed'. it's more like... molded, which isn't really much better. but max's parents wouldn't be the first who meddle in their child's life or want for them something completely different than what they do.

g7silvers:

His parents must have been so happy when Max lost his memory. He bacame the lawyer they wanted him to be. They pushed him along with Tess and they got him away from Liz. What bas**rds. This is what I am thinking.

while this is all true, i wouldn't be much of a storyteller if i didn't make it difficult for you guys to hate them. remember, not everythign has been revealed yet.

Tess is a bi*ch to work for.

You have no idea!!!

To_Kiss_A_Frog:

I feel bad for Max, who is basically floundering around on memories given to him by other people. It seems like his relaionship with Liz was probably one of the more positive things in his life when he was younger.

while it seems bad now, wait till things get really complicated!!!
Hopefully he'll start to remember more about her, even if it only happens in his dreams.

Very wonderful part!!!

i'm so happy that you're liking it so far. i love your story Worth the risk and am glad that one of the authors of my favourite fics likes what i'm working on!


Now, on with the chapter....


Chapter 5:

Harvard had always been Liz Parker’s greatest wish, but now that it had been replaced, the sight of its old walls held little satisfaction for her. But then, little did. All she did was wait. Wait while time passed at a snail’s pace. Wait as it tore at her until she felt like her soul was falling apart. Like she was falling apart.

The first month had been hard without him; setting up the apartment that was supposed to be their first. Their home. But while she’d spent every second worrying about him and mourning his absence, it had been bearable because she’d had hope. She’d known that he would come for her.

Now, however, she was forced to let go of at least a part of the dreams that they had built together.

She couldn’t afford to wait anymore.

Looking around at the endless boxes surrounding her, Liz couldn’t stop her sudden uncertainty about her decision. Had she made the right one?

“Could you give me a hand with this box?”

Startled by the sudden intrusion, Liz jumped in fright before turning towards the front door and Maria Deluca. She’d gotten too used to being alone.

“Sorry babe, didn’t mean to frighten you.”

Staring at her new room mate, Liz took in her long tie-tied gypsy skirt, plain singlet and large dangly earrings before rushing over to help. Maria was exotic, beautiful, bubbly, and eclectic. She wondered what she thought of her in her faded jeans and one of Max’s old sweat shirts.

With both of them working to unpack the boxes, it didn’t take too long for Maria to get settled. After all the knick-knacks had been unwrapped and displayed, furniture shifted and clothes sorted and hung, they flopped down on the couch. As her gaze fell on the bobble-headed hula girl sitting on the bookshelf in front of her, Liz couldn’t help but ask herself for the hundredth time what it had been about the girl beside her that had made her choose Maria over all the other applicants.

As her thoughts wandered, so did her stare as she focused on all the photos and pictures that adorned the walls and shelves of her home. Some of them hers, some Maria’s and some, his. Just like she’d promised.

“He’s very handsome.” Maria stated as she too focused upon the particular picture that held Liz’s full concentration.

The comment in itself was simple enough; nothing more than a polite observation, but one look at Maria conveyed to Liz all that she meant and all that she hadn’t said.

“Yes. He is,” she replied softly as she twisted once more to face the book shelf, intent on hiding the fresh tears that had sprung to her eyes. But Maria didn’t say a word and for a moment, Liz was sure that she hadn’t noticed. Until she felt a soft warm hand encompass one of her own. And just like on that balcony one cool night so long ago, Elizabeth Claudia Parker had a moment of startling clarity.

She’d picked Maria Deluca because she had been the only one to recognise how sad she was. Now though, Liz wondered if it hadn’t been Maria who had chosen her, which left her with only one question.

What exactly was she waiting for?

*************************************************************

“You’re doing what?”

Cringing, Liz looked at Maria out of the corner of her eye, as she watched her friend pace along the floorboards of their apartment, her disbelief and frustration obvious.

“I mean, it’s bad enough that you’ve proven yourself once again unable to stand up to this… woman, but to organise her freaking wedding. To the very guy that you were-”

“Do you think that I need you to remind me?” Liz interrupted angrily before sighing wearily as she ran a hand through her hair.

“But what do you expect from me, Maria. She’s my boss and while I’m not thrilled that that pretty much means to her that I’m her indentured minion, it doesn’t change the fact that that is basically what I am. You know how much my job means to me… and if this is what I have to do, then fine. And as for Ma… Zan, this isn’t a big problem. I can deal with him. I can deal with this.”

“Bullshit.”

“God, what do you want me to say?” Liz exploded as she sprung up and out of her chair to face her friend straight on.

“What is it that you want to hear?”

“I want you to tell me the truth! I want you to stop pushing your feelings down so low that you can’t feel anything.” Maria replied passionately as she looked back at her friend with equal fervour.

This was just all too mcuh for Liz.

“The truth? You want the truth? Okay, the truth is that I am just so over this… all of this. I’m tired Maria... I’m tired of it hurting and I’m sick of crying over Max and this whole situation. We had something special, something unbelievable and wonderful and unique… I know that, but I don’t want to be stuck in this place anymore. I don’t want to be the type of person who falls in love and is… ruined forever because it didn’t work out.” Liz finished sarcastically, pausing between each of her words.

“I’m sorry,” Maria apologised, automatically ashamed of her behaviour. As she stretched out her arms to hug her, Maria was surprised to find Liz taking a step back.

“I mean it. No more tears… now I want you to hug me because you’re my best friend in the whole entire universe and because you understand and support me. That’s what I need right now and if you can’t give it, I don’t want your hug.” Liz swore vehemently as she looked at Maria right in the eyes.

Liz watched as Maria slowly inched forward before quickly jumping on her; wrapping her long slender arms around her frame and crushing her close. After savouring the embrace and the comfort it offered for a minute, Liz gradually unfolded herself from Maria’s arms and bid her friend good night.

“After all I have a big day tomorrow,” Liz smiled faintly before walking off towards her room.

“Lizzie?” Maria called out before it was too late and watched as Liz paused at the door to her room.

“You’ll always have my support.”

Smiling broadly, Liz turned the knob before regarding her friend.

“I know.”

*************************************************************

When Max Evans started dating Liz Parker, there were no family dinners or special sit downs. Invitations to his home weren’t extended and for the most part, Phillip Evans ignored her very existence. While this slight both angered and embarrassed Max, Liz couldn’t garner enough interest to care. All she cared about was Max, her school work, her parents… and getting into Harvard. Phillip Evans was merely a blip on her radar; she didn’t want, need or seek his approval and Max seemed to respect her even more because of it.

It didn’t take long for Liz to realise that she’d fallen in love with him. It had been about a month after their first kiss and she’d been standing at her locker thinking about him when he’d snuck up behind her, enveloping her in his arms and laying a gentle kiss against the side of her neck, in the exact place he’d come to know she loved to be kissed. It was at that moment that she’d known, and the realisation had been one of the scariest in her short existence. At the same time, however, it was exhilarating; knowing that Max was the one person who had been able to open up a part of her that had been shut to every other person on the earth.

Of course, there were the times when he would have to go away. Weekends where he would have to accompany his parents to special functions. He’d never specifically told her why they mad him go, but Liz knew anyway. They were opportunities to meet young girls. Young girls with money and status and names that meant something.

But none of that mattered to Liz because Max Evans had given her his heart. Metaphorically speaking of course. It had been her early Christmas present. A long, delicate white gold necklace with a heart pendant with an engraving on the back of a small rose because he knew how much she loved them.

It had been the first time he’d told her that he loved her. His admission had been bumbling and nothing like she’d seen in the movies, but the look in his eyes and the way he looked into hers, told Liz that she didn’t want what she’d seen in movies. He wasn’t acting, or pretending, and when he looked at her there were so many emotions tumbling and swirling within his amber eyes that she knew that he meant it.

She didn’t hesitate when she returned his sentiments and told him how eagerly she returned his love. That was when she knew that what she felt truly was love because she hadn’t said it because she felt she had to or because she’d gotten caught up in the moment. She’d told him because at that moment, she couldn’t not.

*************************************************************

[Kylie the control freak]

Hey guys, thanks everyone for your feedback to the story and to my poll. you'll just have to keep reading to see what becomes of Isabel. This chapter is a pretty big one and is the answer to some of your questions.

Hope you all enjoy!!!


CHAPTER 6:

“Do you know how shit scared I was the first time I saw you?” He enquired as he took in her incredulous expression.

“I’m serious. I was so nervous that I couldn’t even look at you-”

“Wait a minute,” she laughed. “That’s why you wouldn’t look at me? I thought you were the biggest, most arrogant jerk I had ever met. But I thought you were very cute.” She added with a grin when she noticed the look he was sending her.

“So what, you’re only with me for looks?” He pouted as he feigned hurt.

“Yep,” she grinned mischievously, “and when they fade, I’ll get a face-lift and run away with my buff 22 year old research assistant.”

Shocked by her declaration, he nudged her playfully and was about to tell her that that was his plan, when he heard the familiar tune that had begun on the radio. It was one of her favourites. Quickly getting up from the blanket that they had been sprawled across, he turned up the volume on his jeep’s stereo before once again approaching her.

You throw me in a pan
You cook me in a can
You stretch me with your hands
You love to watch me bake
You serve me up with cake
And that’s your big mistake
Your guest comes in dressed smart
You offer a la carte
You didn’t have the heart

Extending his hand down to her, he pulled her up from the ground.

“Dance?”

“Dance.” She confirmed as she begun to pull the craziest moves she could think of, while he began to do the lawn mower.

And I want a tv embrace

And i, I’m getting off your boiling plate
They swore you’d steal my steam to feed your dream
And then be gone
I wish I could say that everyone was wrong

You left me burned and seared
You left me ripped and teared
And older than my years

I should have know at first
That you would leave me hurt
You had to try dessert

No way to let off steam
Don’t bother milk or cream
No way to let off steam

He watched her as she danced, a wide, toothy grin lighting up her face. Gently pulling her closer, he smiled down upon her as she ceased her wild movements and wrapped her arms around his neck, gently swaying with him.

And I want a tv embrace

And i, I’m getting off this boiling plate
They swore you’d steal my steam to feed your dream
And then be gone
I wish I could say that everyone was wrong

It must feel good to stand above me
While I make you so proud of me
It must feel good that I’m now gone
I wish I could say that everyone was wrong
I wish everyone was wrong
I wish everyone was wrong
I wish everyone was wrong
I wish everyone was wrong
I wish everyone was wrong

As the song drifted out he looked at her and new that it was now or never. “Now, I know that the music isn’t exactly right and there’s no candles,” he began, only to be halted as the sounds of a car horn blared nearby. With a wry smile he continued, “… or anything that could be remotely construed as romantic, but I have something that I want to-”

With a start, Zan sat up, a hand instinctively shooting out to slam down on his automatic alarm. As he became aware of his surroundings and began his daily routine of getting ready for work, his thoughts involuntarily returned to his dream. He had no idea what it was all supposed to mean and as he showered and dressed and prepared to leave for the office, he asked himself what it was about Elizabeth that had affected him so.

*************************************************************

They were supposed to meet for lunch.

Liz found the very prospect of seeing him again so soon positively nerve-wracking, and as she bounced her foot against the floor, her gaze sought out the clock. He was late.

“Sorry I’m late.”

Jumping in shock at his sudden and silent appearance, Liz smiled weakly at his quick apology.

“So what are we working on today?” Zan enquired once they were settled and their meals ordered.

“Umm… I’m not sure,” Liz admitted as she rummaged through her bag and tried to pull out the book that held Tess’ wedding ideas. Book, Liz grimaced. The thing was built more like a frickin’ encyclopaedia!

Sensing her distress, Zan quickly lent down to help her.

“Jesus Christ! What does she have in here?” Zan exclaimed as he used both hands to pick up the book.

“I’m not quite sure I remember,” Liz explained before elucidating, “everything’s just this huge blur of taffeta.” she laughed as she took in the look of horror on his face. “No, I’m serious,” she added as he began to laugh with her.

Her comment quickly wiped the grin off his face.

As their meals came out, they quickly settled into a comfortable silence.

“So… did Tess tell you why this job has fallen to you?” Zan asked as he looked at her across the table. At her blank expression, he added, “I mean planning the wedding.”

“Well, that’s all kind of a blur too. One minute Tess was telling me about her trip and the next she was sending me out of her office and telling me that the book,” Liz gestured to the offending material, “would be sent to my lab. Apparently she doesn‘t like wedding planners. I distinctly remember something about not wanting a 'carbon copy' of the latest celebrity wedding.”

“Why do you ask?” Liz added after he literally snorted with laughter.

“Because I was wondering how she roped you in to this.” Zan explained once he got his laughter under control. “You’re probably already aware of this, but actually planning the bride’s wedding is considered far beyond the duties of the head bridesmaid.”

Liz smelt a rat.

“So… what happened with the wedding planners?”

“Basically, they won’t do it for us. Tess just about alienated every single wedding planner in the tri-state area. And apparently, wedding planners talk amongst themselves and… we got black-listed,” he concluded simply.

This time it was Liz that snorted.

"You got black-listed? You mean like in Seinfeld and the whole 'no soup for you'?" They both laughed as she tried and failed to pull off the accent.

“I'm serious." Zan exclaimed "You may find this hard to believe, but Tess had quite a talent for-”

“Pissing people off?” Liz interjected with an innocent smile.

“”I was going to go for ‘getting on a person’s bad side’.”

*************************************************************

“So… flowers?”

“Yep, flowers.” Liz confirmed as they walked among the shelves and lanes of flower arrangements.

“Tess wants roses; bouquets in an assortment of pastel colours.” Liz explained as she consulted the book. Staring down at the page, Liz couldn't help but wonder whether Tess was just extremely heavy handed with the highlighter or whether she thought she was completely incompetent. She'd practically highlighted every single word.

“That means light blue, pink and purple, peach and um…”

“White?” Zan added, trying to be helpful as he pointed out a large selection of white roses.

“No.”

She was making an executive decision. White wouldn’t look right, Liz attempted to convince herself as she shook her head resolutely. “Not white.”

*************************************************************

An hour and a half later and they were still in the store. Apparently flowers weren’t as simple as picking a type and colour. They had to look at the different shades of pastel available, pick bouquet sizes and decide upon flower arrangements for the tables. They had to organise a large bouquet for Tess to walk down the isle with and a smaller one for her to throw at the reception. They had to decide upon which coloured rose would sit in the groom’s and his men's lapels.

And then there was ribbon.

As the woman demonstrated the different designs, thicknesses and colours of the ribbons, Zan seriously considered ripping the two-inch pastel baby pink, gauze-trimmed ribbon out of her hand and wrapping it around his or maybe even the store assistant’s neck.

Why couldn’t this just all be simple? Zan asked himself as his eyes drifted heaven wards, praying that if anyone was indeed actually up there, that they’d take pity on him and strike him down then and there.

He had no doubt in his mind that Elizabeth felt the same way. He’d seen the way she’d been eying off that strip of braided, pastel purple ribbon that they’d been shown about half an hour previously.

Who knew there was so much to decide upon when it came to ribbon?

*************************************************************

“Who the hell knew there was so much to decide upon when it came to ribbon?" Liz exploded as soon as the made it outside and on to the safety of the bustling sidewalk. She’d take muggers and people who beat you up and stole your kidneys over that lady any day. "It's trimming!"

“Oh my God, I know!” Zan laughed as he looked down at her and the wild expression on her face.

“I just wanted to take that 3 inch, light baby boy blue gauze and wrap it around her neck.”

Liz couldn’t help the sudden bubble of laughter that exploded from within her. “You too?” She asked as she looked up and across at his beautiful face as he nodded eagerly at her. She felt herself smiling back and as she looked at him and he looked at her with his eyes alight with laughter and all his teeth showing, Liz felt once again like that seventeen year old girl to whom Max Evans had been the world.

*************************************************************

16th October 1999

The day had started out like any other. She’d gotten up, had breakfast, showered and readied herself for class. It was 8:09 and she picked up her bag just like she did every other day, ready to walk out the door. Only this time, something stopped her.

“Hello?” Liz greeted as she picked up the phone, more than surprised when she was met with silence.

“Hello?”

“Hello Liz.”

Diane.

Diane Evans.

She wanted to hang up the phone.

“Hello Diane. How are-” She responded, with as much courage as she could muster.

“I’m sorry Liz.” As she heard the older woman's voice crack with emotion, Liz struggled to hold back her own sob.

“Don’t say that. Just… just tell me that he’s fine. Don’t say that you’re sorry.”

“He… he’s gone Liz.”

She wanted to hang up the phone.

She was silent for a few minutes that felt like seconds. Inside, she wanted to scream.

“Umm… when’s the funeral?” Liz finally bit out as the phone chord tightened around her hand.

“There isn’t going to be one. He’s been cremated and… I’m so sorry Liz.”

Without a single word of reply, Liz hung up the phone. She didn’t need sorry or pity: she needed Him.

“Liz? Are you still here girl?” Maria called as she walked down the hallway before she noticed the huddled form crouched on the floor with her knees pulled tight against her body. Rushing over to her in her wonder woman pyjamas, Maria enveloped her in her arms without a second thought.

He’s gone.

He’s gone.

He’s gone.

On the 16th of October 1999, Maxwell Alexander Evans died.

He was gone and he wasn’t coming back.

Not even for her.

Maria held on to her tightly as she cried and screamed and struggled against her grasp. She refused to let go.

If only she could have known then that that same day, in a hospital room hundreds of miles away, Zan Evans had been born.

If only.

*************************************************************

NB: This was my very first use of a song in a fic and i hope it went okay. the song is Cigarettes Will Kill You by Ben Lee.

[Kylie the control freak]

hi guys, sorry it took so long for me to post but today has been taken up almost entirely by filling out forms and stuff for next year.

also, HSC marks are in, and i'm very happy and that should make you happy, because me happy means creative juices are flowing... and that can only be good.

just to make amends, however, this part is nice and big with lots going on. I want to warn you guys now that i'm gonna try and make it really difficult to hate Max/Zan's parents.

also, while this isn't really a zan and liz chapter, i've introduced some of the other characters. also, read on to see what has become of isabel.... da da da daaaa....

The end of this chapter should be a surprise for you guys and it's only one of the many i still have planned. Now, read the whole chapter and don't skip to the end...


happy reading!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER 7:

Lying in bed that night, Liz couldn’t help but smile to herself. It hadn’t been at all like she had expected. It hadn’t been awkward and she had to admit that she’d had fun. They’d talked and laughed and joked… and it had just been so easy.

No, it was nothing like she’d imagined. Liz had thought it would be awkward, uncomfortable… upsetting, to be around him, but it hadn’t been. His presence had actually been a source of comfort for her. A sort of healing balm that rubbed away all the heartache that she had felt over his supposed death.

Of course, she’d be lying if she said that there hadn’t been times when she’d felt sad. But Liz understood that as far as everything went, the negatives were completely outweighed by the positives. With Zan, just like with Max, she felt like she had this vibrancy around him; as if there was light and heat and air swirling inside her.

Yes, she concluded as she began to drift asleep. It had been nice to see him.

*************************************************************

Maria knew that she had been given strict orders to stay out of the whole situation. Liz had set out firm guidelines and rules and while she loved her friend for going to the effort of thinking so highly of her, Maria knew that Liz knew just as well as she did, that she was going to break every single one of them. Or at least try.

One could never say that Maria Deluca didn’t love a challenge.

“Ms. Deluca, Mr Guerin will see you now.”

“No, that’s not right.” Maria declared as she hurried over to the desk, fully prepared to make a scene if it was required.

“I’m sorry… Courtney is it?” Maria began after checking out the name tag situated just beneath the receptionist’s cleavage. Typical. “There must be some mistake. My appointment is with Mr Evans. Say it with me now, Eh-vans.”

“Excuse me, is there a problem?”

Throwing a glance at the new entrant, Maria quickly sized him up. He was cute: tall, well-built, somewhere between a brunette and a dirty blonde. He even had a bit of a rebel look to him in his dress pants and button down shirt with old band t-shirt underneath. But he was no match for her.

She couldn’t help but think it was a pity.

Flashing him a sultry smile, Maria began relaying her story to the handsome stranger, more than eager to point out the incompetence of his staff.

“I mean, she can spell, right?” Maria added in a not so hushed whisper as she inclined her head towards the receptionist desk. Surprised by his light chuckle, Maria couldn’t hold back her own smile of mirth at the shocked look on the secretary’s face.

“Why don’t I see what I can do for you. Please… come this way Ms. Deluca.”

*************************************************************

They were supposed to be meeting again for lunch. It was the new routine. In the morning she would work in the lab and after lunch, she dealt with all the wedding stuff. Liz could only hope that things went smoother than the day before. She’d had no idea what kind of planning went into a full-blown wedding and the whole flower and ribbon fiasco had been a real eye opener.

“Elizabeth.”

Turning quickly around to face him, Liz couldn’t help but smile as he turned red and began to apologise profusely for once again startling her. She didn’t even notice that he’d brought company.

“I’ve really got to stop doing that,” he added as he smiled down at her.

“Hi… um, remember us?”

Unable to break the little smile fest that was going on, the blonde standing beside him surreptitiously elbowed him in his side as she instructed ‘Max’ to introduce them out of the corner of her mouth.

Shocked by the sound of that old name, Liz’s attention finally landed upon the woman standing beside him. She was surprised that she hadn’t noticed her before. Or the little girl that was with her.

“Oh, um, okay.” Zan agreed, slightly flustered over the fact that he’d been caught staring. Again. “Elizabeth this is my sister Isabel and her daughter Arabella. Arabella is going to be the flower girl at the wedding. Guys, this is Elizabeth.” Zan explained as he gestured between the women.

As she politely shook hands with first Zan’s sister and then his niece, liz took the sight of them in. The Evans’ sure did come from a good gene pool, she concluded, as her eyes travelled from Arabella’s ear shoulder length bob of wavy golden curls and pixie face, to Isabel’s long blonde hair and striking features. In fact, it was evident that Isabel and her daughter were as unbelievably beautiful as their brother and uncle was handsome. It was also apparent in the way they communicated, that they were close. Liz was glad to see that the past hurt that had existed between them were gone and the knowledge brought a smile to her face.

As Arabella began informing Zan of all the latest going ons; at her school and in her life, liz couldn’t help but laugh and join in as they debated whether Tyler Andrews (a seven year old afraid of girls and their germs) was good ‘boyfriend material’.

“In my opinion, I’d stay away.” Zan nodded as if in total agreement with himself. “it’s obvious that there’s just too many commitment issues there for it to work between the two of you.” He stated sagely, while Isabel and Liz struggled not to smile as they nodded in agreement.

As conversation chopped and changed, each of them relaxed even more and Liz was pleased to discover that Isabel was as intelligent, funny and kind as she was beautiful. Her daughter was as equally charming and while Liz recognised that the little girl was the spitting image of her mother, she was pleased to see that there was a part of her uncle in there too.

As Liz and Isabel became more friendly as the lunch wore on, Liz couldn’t help but wonder if Isabel Evans had always been like this.

Isabel Evans.

Now, if that wasn’t a blast from the past.

“Hey,” Max whispered as he looked down at Liz who was cuddled in his arms, “I need to tell you something.”

“Okay,” Liz agreed in a teasing voice that mimicked the seriousness of his tone.

“No. I need to tell you something,” he repeated as he gently moved his girlfriend in his arms to face him, locking eyes with her before continuing.

“I lied to you.”

That certainly got her full attention.

Watching the emotions play across her face, Max realised that she was beginning to jump to some very bad conclusions about his declaration.

“I told you Isabel was at boarding school but I lied,” Max quickly continued.

Liz had heard all about Isabel Evans. She was Max’s sister; younger by only a year. From the way he talked about her, Liz had concluded that they were close, but there had always been something about the way he talked about Isabel; a slight hesitation that made her want to hug him or kiss him or run away with him to a distant uninhabited Island where they could spend all day and night making-

“Liz? You’re doing that thing again.”

Looking at her boyfriend’s slightly freaked out expression, Liz shrugged and told him to continue.

“Isabel’s really in Italy.” Max explained, taking a deep breath before he continued. “But she’s not on vacation, or part of an exchange program or… there for like, rehab or something. She… she’s pregnant.”

“Oh.”

“She’s not keeping the baby though. She’s just gone away so people don’t find out about it.”

“Your parents sent her away!” Liz exclaimed, quickly jumping to conclusions.

“No!” Max immediately responded. “It was entirely Isabel’s decision. She didn’t want this to ruin her life.”

Sitting there, Liz couldn’t help but feel ashamed for instantly assuming that his parents had been behind Isabel’s departure and for the first time she had no idea what to say to make him feel better.

“We were always close, you know. Closer than twins even,” he began as past memories of their childhood together flitted through his mind, leaving a ghost of a smile behind. Liz watched as his face fell for a few seconds before he once again faced her. This time though, unshed tears glazed his eyes. “Before she left though, we got in this huge fight and I… I said some terrible things to her. And now, it feels like those harsh words… are going to be the last things I say to her.”

Gently wiping away the stray tears that had fallen, Liz cupped his face and placed a tender kiss upon his lips.

“They don‘t have to be, Max. Words can’t be undone… but you can apologise for saying them.”

Looking across at the mother and daughter and the way that they were with each other, Liz couldn’t believe that there had ever been a time when Isabel Evans hadn’t loved or wanted her daughter.

*************************************************************

Rummaging through the racks of dresses in the small uptown children’s boutique Polkadots, Liz and Isabel searched for more dresses for Arabella to try on.

“Bella, come out and show us.” Isabel called out to her daughter as she inspected a light pink dress with full taffeta skirt before scrunching up her nose and replacing it on the rack.

“I don’t like it.” Came the muffled reply and Isabel and Liz watched curiously as a small head of golden curls poked out of the dressing room curtain.

“I don’t like it.” She reiterated as her mother gestured for her to come out and show them anyway. Pushing the curtain aside, Arabella did a slight half-hearted twirl for her audience, her displeasure more than evident.

“I look like a giant cheese ball!” She cried out as she once again faced her mother. Throwing her hands up into the air, Arabella huffed in exasperation and tugged the curtain closed as her mother and Liz erupting in a fit of giggles.

“Oh god, that dress is just not right.” Isabel declared as her and Liz’s giggles turned into full out belly laughter.

“I can still hear you!”

*************************************************************

As the three of them exited the store, Liz couldn’t help but smile as Arabella continued to vehemently express her hatred for the peach ‘cheese ball’ dress.

“Thankyou for changing it Liz. I would have just died if I had to wear that… that monstrosity in public!” Arabella proclaimed as the back of one hand came to rest upon her forehead.

“Drama classes.” Isabel explained at Liz’s amused expression.

“Oh. Money well spent.”

“Yeah, the teacher says she has a real flair for the dramatics.” Isabel smiled as she hailed down a taxi. As she and Arabella got in, Isabel saw Liz hesitate, unsure of whether she was going with them.

“Come one, let’s go get a coffee.”

*************************************************************

Coffee actually meant hot chocolates with marshmallows but Liz wasn’t complaining.

“So you’re the one who got stuck with the wedding plans.” Isabel stated as she blew on her drink to cool it down.

“Yep.” Liz confirmed as she took a sip of her own white hot chocolate. “Although I still don’t know how… or why.”

“Well I know why,” she amended with a roll of her eyes, “… but why?”

“I think you mean ‘why me’?” Isabel suggested as she perfectly copied her daughter’s earlier actions.

“I see that ‘flair’ runs in the family.” Liz smiled. “Now, no offence intended, but why couldn’t you do it? Or your mother?” she added as an afterthought.

“Well, I couldn’t do it because Tess and I are sworn mortal enemies.” Isabel declared as if it was the most obvious and normal thing in the world. “We have history.” She clarified. “And Mom wouldn’t do it because-”

“She hates Tess’ guts.” Arabella interjected matter-of-factly, her words coming out slightly garbled as she attempted to chew all three of her marshmallows at once.

“Arabella Adora Evans! Language! And don‘t talk with your mouth full,” Isabel chided as Arabella smiled sheepishly between the reproachful gaze of her mother and Liz’s amused one.

“My mother, your grandmother,” Isabel emphasised pointedly, “does not hate Tess.”

“Then why doesn’t she want Uncle Max to marry her?” Arabella asked wide eyed, confused by the way her family had reacted to news that all her friends told her was supposed to be exciting.

“It’s not that Grandma doesn’t like Tess, she does,” Isabel tried to explain. “God, I can’t believe I actually started this conversation in front of my six year old,” she sighed as she looked heavenwards.

“Well, we may as well finish it.” Liz tried to suggest off-handedly. Truthfully, however, she could admit to herself that she was more than curious to know what Diane Evans’ objection to the marriage was.

After deliberating for a few seconds on how to clarify the situation, Isabel finally explained that it was because her mother didn’t approve of the match.

“She says that Tess isn’t right for Max.”

*************************************************************

17th August 1999

Liz hated the smell of hospitals and she told him as much.

“And no matter how fancy they are, they all smell the same,” she concluded as she looked around at their lavish surroundings.

Falling silent once more, Liz ran her index finger gently around the contours of his face, tracing the bruises and scrapes that marred his beautiful features before placing a soft kiss on each of his closed eyelids.

She just wanted him to wake up.

And she wanted to know why things had come to this. Him, lying in a bed in a hospital. Potentially dying.

She hated hospitals. No matter how different this one looked to every other one she had been in, Liz knew they were all the same. Hospitals were hospitals. But no matter how much she hated them, she hated the fact that she had been forced to sneak around them even more.

“Liz.”

Shocked by the sudden interruption, Liz turned to find herself looking at none other than Diane Evans. She didn’t look like her though. She looked tired and drawn and nothing like her usually immaculately groomed self.

“I’m sorry, Mrs Evans. I… I just wanted to see him.” She apologised as she took a step back from the bed, intending to get out of there as fast as she could.

“You don’t have to leave. Please… stay.” The older woman insisted as she looked at Liz almost desperately. She needed her there. Liz Parker was the closest she could get to having a bit of Max back and she knew that Diane needed her there as much as Liz needed to be there for him. Looking at the two of them together, Diane wondered if they would ever forgive Phillip for what he had done… and she’d just stood there.

She wondered if her son would forgive her.

Sitting in silence, neither felt up to talking. Diane felt to weary to speak while Liz didn‘t know how to say everything that she felt like screaming.

“It meant so much to him that you approved.” She finally whispered as she watched Diane out of the corner of her eye.

And that’s how they continued on. Each woman sitting on a chair on either side of him, each tenderly holding on to a piece of him. In their hands and in their hearts as they thought over all the memories that they shared with him.

Looking up at the clock on the wall beside the door, Liz was only mildly surprised that over two and a half hours had passed.

It was finally time to go.

Standing up, she gently wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck before moving slightly to watch as one of her hands gently trailed down his face.

Reaching up behind her to the clasp on her necklace, Liz undid it and gently removed the pendant. Placing it in Diane’s hand Liz smiled a watery tear soaked smile at the older woman and told her to give it to him when he woke up.

Walking slowly towards the door, Liz couldn’t help but think of all the reasons she was leaving. Sure, Phillip Evans had goaded her into going, but she knew that she was going for more than that. School would be starting soon and Liz knew that Max would never forgive her if she missed her first days at Harvard. It was now her job to experience them for both of them.

“How do you do it?”

Turning back, Liz met Diane’s wavering gaze as she stood to face her.

“Do what?”

“How do you have such strong faith… conviction that it’s going to be okay? How do you know he’s going to be okay?” the older woman's face crumbled as she broke down. “I’ve been trying so hard but I just don’t know how to anymore. I need to know how I’m supposed to have faith.”

Without even thinking, Liz knew what the answer to the question was.

“I know he’s going to wake up because… he’s Max. I have faith that he will because I know that he’ll fight to come back because he loves me... and because I know that he won’t go anywhere until he’s held his beautiful niece in his arms and made up with his sister. He’s going to fight for all that and for everyone who loves him… and I know he will wake up, because he’s just such an over-achiever.”

Liz watched Diane smile and emit a small laugh, and for the first time since this had all began, she felt herself smile really smile back.

[Kylie the control freak]

hi guys, i'm back!!! this is only a small part, a bit of a filler, but i'm hoping that it reveals a bit more about the relationship that Max and Liz had. The tone and voice i used in this is pretty different for me, so i am looking forward to your feedback.

The next part should be more substantial (at least i hope!!!) but considering the fact that i've recently moved to the city to start uni, who knows when it will be posted. Never fear, however, cause i'm currently convinced that i have beaten my current writer's block. Also, i know you guys have lots of questions and maybe in the next chapter i will answer the ones or at least a few of them about Isabel and Arabella. They have their own entire story and i look forward to letting it play out for you guys.


CHAPTER EIGHT:


It’s funny to think about the effect that love has upon a person. It can make them happy, sad, angry, and even jealous and the sad thing is, it needs no provocation. But the really scary thing is, love can’t be prepared for and the deeper one’s feeling often means that whatever pain there is, it’s felt threefold.

Oh yes, love is a kick in the head. But funnily enough, the victim wouldn’t have it any other way. After all, love can be hurtful and it can make people think and say and even do stupid things. Love can make you abandon all reason, but it’s real and to those who have it, it’s often the only life raft they have to cling to.

Max Evans and Liz Parker certainly had love. They burned with a passion for each other that most people can only dream about . . . and they found it at a young age. It was only a matter of time before that passion boiled over, and one night it did. His parents had flown out of state to go to a party and Max had been able to convince them that he was too busy with school to go.

He spent the entire morning making things perfect: tidying up and setting the scene, only to spend all afternoon rethinking his decision. What if she felt like he was trying to pressure her? Force his expectations upon her? But as the day drifted into night and she appeared, all his fears fell away because this was Liz. She was his just like he was hers and it would always be perfect between them, regardless of whatever happened, because of that simple fact.

They took it slow at first: partly out of nerves and also because they recognised the enormity of what was happening. With their eyes firmly fixed on each other, they stripped away the layers of clothing that separated them until all that remained was their underwear. Moving closer to him, Liz crossed the space that existed between them and reached out to touch him. As the very tips of her fingers gently caressed the hard flesh of his sculpted chest, Liz couldn’t help but marvel at the goose bumps her touch elicited.

All this time, Max simply stood there, allowing Liz to explore as she saw fit. As he looked down upon her intent face and felt the gentleness of her touch, he realised what she was trying to do. She was truly touching him: reaching deep within him and entwining her fingers around every part of him in a way that could not be explained with words or by logic or science. He had known for a while that he loved her, but standing there watching her as she glided his own hand along her bare flesh, he knew without a doubt that Liz Parker was the one for him.

“You can do it to me too.” Liz whispered with a smile as she opened her eyes and looked up at the man that was soon to be her lover.

“Well,” Max replied teasingly as he bent his head to kiss her, “It’s only fair that I can affect you as much as you affect me.”

His lips however, were met only with air.

“Now, I’m not trying to be cocky... but I think I might have affected you a little bit more.” Liz suggested with a saucy grin and a pointed look at his crotch.

Pulling her close once again, Max laughed at her surprised squeel before putting on the most serious face he could muster at the time.

“Well, I guess I’m going to have to do something about that.”

*************************************************************

Unfortunately it’s often the way of the world that even our purest moments of joy can be marred by the follies of men and women and it was with sadness and regret on both sides that their first time together was also the catalyst for their first big fight.

The irony wasn’t lost on either of them.

*************************************************************

They lay in the bed together, each trying to calm their breathing. Liz was smiling up at the ceiling, having never expected such gratification. . . but although Max’s position was similar, a small frown marred his handsome face.

“So,” he began, feigning nonchalance, “I noticed that you’re...”. Unable to find the right words to finish his question, he simply trailed off.

“That I’m what?” Liz asked, unsure of what he could be referring to.

“Well, It’s not a big deal,” he returned, “it’s just that you never mentioned that you’d... you know, been with someone before.”

Liz remained still for a couple seconds as shock held her immobile, before quickly sitting up and pulling the sheet tight around her.

“It’s not a big deal, Liz.” Max said, oblivious to the anger and sadness that simmered barely below the surface of the woman beside me. “I just assumed...”

“You assumed what? What made you assume? You knew that I had dated seriously before.” Liz exploded as she turned her fiery gaze upon him. At his surprised and speechless expression, Liz shook her head in disgust and quickly sprang out of the bed, careful to remain covered up as she quickly grabbed her clothes and began to pull them on. Striding towards the door, Liz refused to look back at him and let him see her tears.

Still on the bed, Max watched her go, a range of emotions swirling and competing within him. Unfortunately, it is often in situations such as these, that we turn to the wrong ones.

“I don’t know what the big deal is? You never asked me, so it’s obvious that you just assumed too. Well, you know what? I’m not.” He declared brazenly to her now still back. “Before I came to Roswell, I went to this party and met this girl... I think you can use your imagination to work out the rest.”

Not caring anymore about the tears streaming down her face, Liz turned to face him. And without anger or malice she said what she needed... and then quietly left.

Instead of running after her and begging for forgiveness, Max remained in the bed: his pride too strong to allow him to go after her. Staring up at the elaborate pattern of the ceiling, Max saw only her face. As his mind focused upon the devastation that had been etched across her face, it struck him for the first time that even if he did beg her to forgive him, it was all too possible that she wouldn’t.

Rolling onto his side, Max stared at the smiling photo on his dresser. He felt like hitting something but all he could do was hear her final heartbreaking words echoing in the stillness of his room.

“I didn’t ask, because it didn’t matter to me.”

He had been such a fool.

*******************************************************

And that is what makes true love so beautiful to experience or merely witness. It’s beauty isn’t in perfection, but rather two people’s ability to face destruction and end up creating something more spectacular than anyone could imagine. It’s ‘perfection’ if you will, lies in the imperfections, and it is this that allows people to separate the memories from the dreams.

Liz Parker’s greatest fear when she had lost him had been that everything that had happened would fade and turn into some idealised fantasy. It’s the reason why she held on to the bad as tightly as she clung to the good times.

And that’s one thing that made Maxwell Evans and Elizabeth Parker so special. They truly desired each other in a fashion that made them yearn for the good and the bad: because at least they were together.