![Image](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v335/babylisou/WMHWTS2.jpg)
![Image](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v335/babylisou/WMHWTS.jpg)
Banners by babylisou
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
What my heart wants to say
Author: Innocent Eyes, aka Tânia
Couple: Michael/Maria, and it’s kinda AU
Rating: TEEN to ADULT
Disclaimer: I do not own Roswell (though I’m still dreaming on!) and unfortunately, not Brendan/Michael either. And I most certainly do not own the songs I am going to use on this fic.
Summary: Something strange is happening and Max, Isabel and Michael don’t know what it is. Someone who’s like them seems close, but they don’t know why, how or who. It turns out Nasedo shows up because he heard of the Crash there, and he brings someone with him, a girl their age, Nicole (no Tess!!). They had never heard of Nasedo before and they had never known of the existence of any other alien, but they end up finding that Nicole is the fourth alien. She has very deep connections with every one of them, but especially Michael. Meanwhile, Michael and Maria’s relationship is not going well. They both love each other, but Michael is incapable of telling Maria how he feels and being caring to her because deep down, he doesn’t want to hurt her. Maria thinks he doesn’t care about her at all and feels miserable and unhappy. What happens when Nasedo announces that Nicole is Michael’s destiny?? And that they are meant to be together and go back off to Antar with Max and Isabel?? It’s Michael’s big chance to finally tell Maria how he truly feels, without fears, before it gets too late... or worse, Nicole gets what she wants – that is having Michael and keep Maria away at all costs, even if that means hurting her badly! Will finally Michael and Maria confess the deep, true love that unites them both and finally start a real relationship??!
A/N.- Hey!! I wanted some change so I decided to start writing my M/M-only fic, which I’ve been planning to write almost a year ago, so now I’ve finally started! I warn you though, this is going to be kind of angsty (yeah... not fluff this time, sorry, at least not until the end!!), Michael & Maria will have lots of problems and they probably won’t be together until the end... but I promise everything will turn out alright and it’s gonna be a happy ending!!!
A/N. 2- Like you must have noticed on the summary, I’m going to mix Michael and Maria’s relationship a little. They never had anything serious, not more than just some kisses, totally no-strings-attached (blame Michael! Lol, just kidding), though they secretily really love each other, Michael has a lot of trouble showing what he feels, he’s secretily scared and aparently seems insensitive, and Maria doesn’t know what to do anymore and feels really down because she feels she’ll never know Michael and be with him as a real girlfriend. In my fic Maria’s character will be a little like in Melinda Metz’s “Roswell High” books, kind of sweet and romantic, and not as much as a “spitfire” like she is on the TV show.
![Wink :wink:](./images/smilies/icon_wink.gif)
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_smile.gif)
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
Chapter 1
“Could you please pass me that slice of pizza?”
Maria was woken from her thoughts by Kyle’s voice.
“Huh?
“Can you please give me that slice of pizza? Just because you’re just staring at nowhere and not eating a damn thing, it doesn’t mean I’m not hungry”, Kyle replied.
Isabel rolled her eyes.
“Oh, sorry”, Maria said, giving him the slice of pizza, and Kyle took a bite hungrily.
Isabel rolled her eyes again.
“Oh, please, Kyle”.
“What?”, Kyle asked innocently with his mouthful.
Isabel screwed up her face. “Gross”.
“What?”, Kyle repeated, with his mouth still open.
“Would you mind please chewing with your mouth shut??!”, Isabel snapped.
“Okay, alright”, Kyle said, chewing with his mouth closed.
“Thanks”, Isabel said.
“Maria?”, Liz asked.
“She’s off again”, Alex shrugged. “Yo, Maria! Earth to Maria, we’re waiting!!”
“Huh?”, Maria looked at them blankily.
“You were tripping”, Alex smiled. “What’s up with you? Are you alright?”
“Yes. Yes I am”, Maria replied weakily.
“You want some pizza?”, Michael asked.
Maria shivered when she heard Michael’s voice. Was he worried about her? Or had he asked if she wanted some pizza like it was something totally ordinary??
“Yes. Please”, she said, after clearing her throat.
Michael handed her a slice.
“Here”, he said.
Maria felt the blush rise up to her cheeks as she felt the touch of Michael’s warm fingers. God, she could be feeling that warmness all her life.
“Thanks”, she said, jerking her fingers away quickly. She sighed and took a small bite distractedly. What could she do?? Let everybody in the whole Crashdown see how she felt everytime her and Michael touched? That would be just pathetic.
“Maria, what is the matter with you?!”, Kyle nearly had to yell on her ears.
“Huh? Nothing, Kyle, I’m just... a little... not in the mood”, Maria answered. “But I’m fine”.
She noticed Michael had been eyeing her everytime she said something. She felt happy because that was a sign – very little, when it came to Michael, but still – that he cared about her, but at the same time she was sure he wouldn’t do anything to make her feel better. She knew him too well. Better than he knew himself, she was sure.
“Are you really alright?”, Maria was in shock when she heard Michael’s voice. And he was looking her straight in the eyes. Oh, God. Speak. Say something, she desperately instructed herself. Whatever you do, don’t just look at him like a freak, despite how especially good he is looking today...
“Yeah, I’m fine”, she replied as firmly as she could, though she was shaking inside. She noticed that all the looks were placed on her.
“Look, I’m fine, alright?!”, she snapped. “I’m just feeling a little... moody”.
“If you say so”, Alex shrugged and got back to his pizza.
Liz, who was sitting next to Max, felt him shiver, his eyes shut.
“Max? What’s the matter?”, she asked, not liking that look on his face.
“I felt something”, he whispered.
“Felt what?”, Liz wanted to know.
“I—I’m not sure. Something weird”. He turned to Isabel and Michael. “Did any of you felt anything on the last couple of minutes?”
“I felt something too”, Isabel murmured to him. “I can’t explain it. It was so weird... but it was so strangely familiar at the same time”. Max and Isabel looked at Michael. “Michael?”, they both chorused.
“What?”, he asked.
“Have you felt something?”
He shrugged.
“I felt my tongue burning with the pizza”, he tried to joke, though he was looking serious as always.
Maria wanted to laugh. She couldn’t resist to Michael’s sense of humor, and it wasn’t just because she was in love with him. But she figured it wasn’t the best time to laugh. Max and Isabel were looking pretty serious.
“I’m serious, Michael”, Isabel said, pushing behind one of her long blonde highlights. “Me and Max felt something. Something we’re pretty sure we’ve felt before, but we don’t know what. Have you felt that too?”
Michael took a while until he finally nodded.
“Yeah”, he said. “I’ve felt that. Stronger than anything else I’ve ever felt before”.
Max only then noticed that Alex, Kyle and Maria were listening.
“What’s going on? What can possibly be that?”, Alex asked.
Isabel shrugged.
“We don’t know”, Max said. “It can be anything”.
“Michael?”, Maria screwed up her courage to ask. “Are you feeling okay?”
Michael nodded.
“Yeah”.
Maria felt like sighing with relief. But she felt dead curious, like everybody else. What could possibly be that that had affected Max and Isabel so much, but especially Michael??...
***
“Maria? Can we talk?”, Liz asked.
Maria had gone to sleep over at Liz’s, like she did so many times. But now she had really wanted to. She needed some company to ease her loneliness, her sadness, and especially, a shoulder to cry on.
“Sure”, Maria said, flicking away one of her bouncy blonde curls. “What is it?”
“Maria, are you sure you’re feeling okay?”, Liz blurted out.
Maria stared at her wide-eyed. “Why are you asking that?!”
“You know, Maria”, Liz began, sitting on her bed next to Maria. “Today at the Crashdown... you were looking really... well, kind of weird. Like Alex said, it looked like you were tripping. Tell me the truth... you know you can trust me. It’s because of Michael, isn’t it?”
Maria felt a knot starting to form on her throat, and that was starting to hurt. Everytime she felt that, Maria knew, she would be crying in very little time.
“Oh Liz”, she said, laying her head on Liz’s lap. “I don’t know what to do anymore. It looks like I’m invisible. Michael doesn’t even care about me, that’s proved. But I just can’t seem to accept it and move on”.
“Well, maybe you’ve got a reason not to”, Liz suggested.
“A reason?”, Maria echoed, lifting her head to look into Liz’s eyes.
“Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think Michael is so careless about you. At all. You might not have noticed, but I have. I saw the way he looked at you when he thought nobody was paying attention. I saw the looks on your faces when he handed you the pizza and you remained looking at each other as if a bubble was surrounding you, and don’t tell me it was not, because deep down, you know it’s true, Maria. And I saw the look on his face and how he asked if you were alright. Do you think Michael would do all of this if he wasn’t the slightest bit interested in you??!”
Maria bit her lip, a tiny string of hope reborning in her heart, a smile starting to spread on her lips.
“Well, I did notice that, alright. But he... he was a way so strange of showing his feelings, you know? Or, better, of not showing them”.
“We all know how Michael is”, Liz pointed out. “And we all know that deep down, under that tough-guy armor, he’s pretty insecure”.
“Yeah... well, maybe you’re right”, Maria admitted, but couldn't help thinking how adorable it was of Michael feeling insecure, although she knew he must think that that wasn’t very sweet... at all. And she wanted to know Michael. She wanted to know his dreams, his hopes... she wanted to know everything that was in his heart. But would he ever let her break that wall of his defenses and show her how he really was, fearlessly?
“We better go to bed”, Liz suggested, breaking up her thoughts. “And if you feel the need to talk, just don’t hesitate and keep that to yourself, alright? You know I’m here for you whenever you need to”.
Maria gave her a touched look. “Thank you so much, Liz. I will”.
Liz smiled.
“Good. But I mean it, you hear me?”
Maria nodded, smiling.
“Yeah. I will”.
As Maria was lying on bed, before closing her eyes, she thought of Michael, like she always did before drifting off to sleep. And she wished, as always, that he would have sweet dreams and peace in his heart... whatever would that mean to Michael. And maybe, just maybe... that he’d may think of her too, before falling asleep.
A/N.- Hmm... first chapter’s done!! I really don’t think it’s that good, but by now is 11.35 p.m. and it’s not the best time to write, but I just needed to ‘cause I had this fic at way too long on my mind!! Please tell me what you think!! I LOOOOVE feedback!!!
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)