Long Time Coming (UC,Mi/L,MATURE) Chapter 5 Completed 12/11

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thatchick
Enthusiastic Roswellian
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2002 7:19 am

Long Time Coming (UC,Mi/L,MATURE) Chapter 5 Completed 12/11

Post by thatchick »

Image

Author: ery
Pairing: All Polar All the Time!
Rating: MATURE
Disclaimer: Roswell and all its characters are the intellectual property of people I have never met. I own nothing.
Notes: First time fic from a first time author. If that make you run away in horror, I don't blame you....but FB anyway, damnit!

Also, profanity, as always, in strongly encouraged.


Chapter One


By the time the first shot registered, Max was already dead. She hadn’t been looking. She had been gazing out her window, watching the slow passage of barren landscape and distant mountains. Her first inclination of disaster had been when the van veered sharply off course. She saw the point of entry first; the raw spider web of cracks in the windshield glass. Then she saw him, slumped in the driver’s seat, his head resting on the steering wheel. The portion of it that didn’t decorate his headrest.

That was when the sharp report of gunfire registered on her consciousness. Suddenly the context was all too clear. Max had been shot. The back of his head, even in the pale moonlight, was obviously misshapen; the dark stains splattering the bucket seat were blood. Blood and brain matter.

Max was dead.

She was lurching for the wheel even as the cry passed her lips. His name.

Without a navigator, the van had driven off the deserted Montana highway, into the dirt of the endless sandy stretches. Except that it was not deserted anymore. Suddenly it was filled with light and movement. Cars surrounded them, their headlights winking into existence, engines gunning, shots ringing out. The van was not slowing, if anything gaining momentum in its flight into the sandy desert. She steered sharply left, then right, and left again, her other arm groping blindly for the break, trying to cut their speed. It was working.

There was pandemonium behind her, in the interior of the van. Maria’s screams were too shrill in the enclosed space. They hurt her ears. The steering wheel was slick beneath her fingers, her hands soon painted red as she stumbled for control of the vehicle. The van jolted over a sand dune and Max slumped onto her, his weight on her shoulder and breastbone, oily slickness running down the front of her body.

Sickened, she shoved him off. Small shrieks of horror tore themselves from her throat.

By now, the van was slowing to a rocking stop, a combination of sandy ground and flat tires. The unceasing bullets had taken them out. A helicopter sounded overhead, and the van was suddenly drenched in white, unforgiving light. It made the white of her top and skirt glow, the red on her breast glaringly obvious. She was still issuing harsh cries when Kyle grabbed her arm, pulling her into the back, into safety as the windshield collapsed under a new volley of bullets. He shoved her down, pushing her into Isabel, roughly covering their bodies with his own.

Except that it wasn’t safe in the back either. Bullet holes began to appear in the roof, the intense light shining through in tiny round beams, onto the wild eyed inhabitants within. They were firing from the helicopter hovering above. The van had become a deathtrap; it’s security an illusion. Maria was the first to the side door, ungracefully attempting to scramble out. But it wasn’t any safer without.

Standing half in and half out of the van, she started jerking, as if caught in some unnamed and awkward dance. Liz struggled to free herself, but Kyle only clung more fiercely. Michael began to roar as a new light filled the van.

The metal wrenched as it gave way. Suddenly the roof was gone, and the light of the hovering helicopter vanished, only to be replaced with the reddish glow of a fiery explosion. Michael was fighting back.

More bullets racked the beleaguered van. She felt the impact, heard the odd whufing noise, and knew Kyle had been hit. He was a heavy, leaden weight pressing down upon her, squashing her uncomfortably close to Isabel. She struggled out from under him, Michael assisting in passing as he pushed his way out of the van, stepping gingerly over Maria to stand, hands outstretched, power flowing from his fingertips. She could see the determined set of his features as new explosions filled the night.

There was silence inside the van. In the blinding flashes that followed, she searched Kyle, bloodied and broken. His clothes were wet and his arms hung loosely as she turned him. Part of his lower jaw was missing, and she didn’t know how much more she could take. His tongue worked in his destroyed mouth, ugly guttural sounds formed from his throat. But not for long. Even as she watched, the light fled from his staring eyes.

He was dead. Liz screwed her eyes closed and felt nothing. No, nothing at all.

Where was Isabel? Beside her, still, but so silent. Had the gunfire slacked off? Maybe the onslaught was over, they were saved. In the sudden quiet, Isabel’s silence induced a new chill of horror. Panicked, she shook the shoulders of her too quiet companion.

“Isabel! Isabel?!” She cried, wrenching the prone figure beside her, begging for a reaction.

Isabel’s features were slack, her face covered in blood, her hair matted with it, but she was noticeably breathing; quick panting breaths, in and out. Liz exhaled a great whooping breath herself, one she had not know she was holding. She was alive, her mind exclaimed, flooding her limbs with the palpable sensation of intense relief. The blood must belong to Kyle.

He had saved her life. Both of their lives. And he was dead. So was Max. And Maria. She grabbed Isabel’s unresisting hand. It was up to her to ensure they would remain alive. With new determination, she vowed that they would live through this, and pulled Isabel from the wreckage of their cramped and lonesome home away from home for the past month.

Funny to think she could be more lonesome yet. But that was a thought for another time, another girl. The girl she would be when all this was over and she no longer had to be a part of it.

Outside the van, Michael had been busy. They were surrounded, not by vehicles now, but a ring of fire, burning mounds that had been their dread pursuers. Vehicles had been razed and burned freely now, still occasionally igniting minor explosions. Sporadic gunfire was still issuing from a number of directions, and, as she watched, Michael levelled a wave of destruction upon one, then another armed figure. He was without cover or even the glowing blue shield Max had previously evinced, but an aura of power and heat surrounded him, one which no flying projectiles penetrated.

Energy shot from his hands, and more vehicles succumbed to the might of his blasts. There were screams in the distance, people caught in the infernos burning all around her. And then the gunfire renewed, seemingly unending.

They had to get out of the open. She yanked Isabel’s arm again, and they stumbled over Maria, lying in a lax heap on the ground just outside the van. She couldn’t spare her more than a glance. Not now. Isabel was heavy, much larger than Liz, and strangely resistant to her direction.

“She’s in shock! Michael, we have to move!”

He glanced at them, but his attention was consumed with the enemy, survivors, snipers now, taking potshots at the three of them, clumped together and obvious targets. His eyes fairly glowed with the violence of his anger. As she watched, he levelled another abrupt blast, and an armed figure let out a high pitched shout as he was thrust rudely from his feet, lying still were he landed.

“We have to move!” She repeated, and he nodded his approval. When Isabel still seemed reluctant to run, Michael bent at the waist and lifted her over his shoulders in one swift movement. Liz darted to the back of the van and, jogging with his burden, Michael followed.

There was cover, an intact sedan, all four doors ajar, thirty long and dangerous yards in front of her. She ran as quickly as she could, nearly tripping over her long skirts and, her back to him, trusted Michael to follow. She could hear little in the dense cacophony of explosions and probable injury to her sensitive eardrums. It felt as though her ear canals were stuffed with cotton. Another worry for later. She forced her legs onward, as bullets, real or imagined whizzed inches from her body.

Finally reaching the car, she landed badly, and a twisting pain centered in her left calf muscle. She scrambled behind it, and turned to receive Isabel from Michael. Barely pausing, he was moving again, arm raised and ready to go on the offensive. Liz concentrated on Isabel.

Liz checked her for injuries, running her hands over blood spattered clothes and limbs, but found nothing to indicate that she had sustained any physical injury.

“Isabel, speak to me, say something, please, please,” She crooned, trying to cajole a reaction from Isabel, who remained passive and silent. She smoothed her hand upon Isabel’s checks, trying to sluice away the blood still covering her face. That was where she found it. High on her forehead, covered with her blood knotted hair.

The hole. Perfectly round and about the size of a quarter.

“Oh, oh, oh no, nononononoooooo,” Liz moaned.

Isabel had been shot. In the head.

“Michael!!!”

He glanced down from his post, still protecting them from random gunfire.

“Isabel. Isabel’s been shot, Michael. Shot in the head!”

Immediately, he hunkered down beside her, his hardened eyes studying the newly revealed bullet hole in Isabel’s right temple.

“There’s no exit wound, and she’s still breathing, Michael, she’s alive. But she’s been shot.” Liz explained, cradling her charge. Gentler now, hands caressing her face.

“Can you heal her?” He asked, desperation in his face and voice.

“This much damage? I’ve only mastered the small stuff Michael, cuts and broken bones, well, one broken bone. But that was easy,” she paused, “this…” she trailed off in despair.

“Try it,” He commanded.

“It’s not as easy as that, Michael,” She cautioned.

“Try it,” He repeated, ignoring her denials.

Sighing dejectedly, she explained, “Maybe with the healing stones, if we,” But before she had even completed the sentence, he was off, running in an exaggerated crouch.

It seemed all her hope fled with him. Dead, so many dead, and Isabel, wounded so grievously. What chance had they left?

A new explosion rocked her, and she doubled over Isabel protectively, attempting, at least, to shelter her from further harm. The roses that had crowned her head slipped and landed at the ground at her feet. She ignored them. There was shouting from the right, the far right, nearer to the smoking husk of the van. Liz closed her eyes tightly, ignored the commotion, concentrated only on Isabel, on forming a connection.

She could almost feel it, if she could cast her mind out, like projecting, out from her body into the placid form lying on her lap. If she could just get a gauge on it, see it in her mind…the extent of the damage…

A fire flamed to life nearby, and just as suddenly it was out. A fireball then. She had seen Michael emit them, although admittedly at a much smaller scale. This one had been impressive. His rage was fuelling his power, she reasoned.

If him, than me…she thought, and felt her own answering surge of power. The trickle of her consciousness was thrust all of a sudden, into the body beneath her, and she heard and saw no more of Michael’s quest.

The next she knew, he was beside her, thrusting a cold hard object between her and Isabel.

Oh, the stone.

“You’re safe,” She said dumbly.

“Yes,” He replied, “I think I got ‘em. All of ’em. Dead. Maybe…..I don’t know.” He gestured with the stone. “I got it. It will work now.”

Liz slowly let out a tense breath. “It’s not that simple, Michael. The other times, it was…it was like the body wanted to be healed. Like it knew its natural state and I understood and guided it. Like synchronicity,” She explained, “But this? Oh, Michael, this is another thing entirely!”

She would have gone further, but there was a sound nearby, muffled as it was by her impaired hearing. Michael immediately took action. He bounded to his feet and loped off in pursuit. Liz huddled closer still to the prone figure in her lap, and waited for his return.

“What was it?” She cried as soon as she saw his head bobbing its way back to her.

“Survivor. I have a plan,” His eyes turned to her in frank appraisal. “Isabel. You gonna heal her?”

“Wait, plan? For what?”

Later,” He stressed. “Isabel now.”

He stared pointedly at her, so she tried again to explain.

“It’s not like an ordinary injury, Michael. I think I can close the wound, no, in fact, I know I can, but the damage to bone and flesh is one thing. The brain damage…..” She trailed off.

“What, it’s all just flesh, and it all wants to be fixed, so fix it!”

“No, it’s not just that, you cannot imagine how complex the brain it, the way it operates, connects, synopses firing…….” Seeing the determination on his face, she relented. “I can try. I need your help.”

“How, what, whatever, I’ll do it.”

“Okay, we need a connection. With the stones.”

He handed her the stone from the ground beside her, and grabbed another from the small stack of three.

“Okay. Now, a connection. Give me your hand.”

He switched hands with the stones, once, then again, finally setting them both down upon Isabel’s abdomen. Liz grasped his hands firmly within her own, and tried to find that place within her mind, the place that allowed her to combine her consciousness with another’s. It was almost easy. She had grown accustomed to it in the last weeks spent on the road, practicing with Max and Isabel.

Max….

But not now, now she had business to attend. The stones began to emit their eerie glow, as if surging with a life of their own.

She felt it like a click, like a physical sensation, as Michael’s mind fit into place beside and within her own. Fitted together, their energies began to intertwine, like tendrils of smoke circling a fire. Something like that. She could think of analogies later. Now she had a purpose.

Fixing the connection in place, she thrust it forward, into the body lying between them. For a moment she felt the resistance of Isabel’s separate matter, trying to remain separate, but within seconds, it was gone. They were within her body, travelling the complex circuit of her cells, seeking the damaged area, the hard metal encasement violating the soft tissue of her brain. It hadn’t penetrated very deeply, and inch or so, but wasn’t that all that was necessary?

She felt Michael’s emotions surge, was inundated with an influx of his anguish both in and around her. Without words, she compelled him to be calm. They needed to be able to feel their way through this, and his emotional torrent would only get in the way. Without realizing it, she sought dominion over his emotions, ushering them where she could, secreting them in compartmentalized passages of his psyche, the way she so often did her own. They could not feel what they were feeling now. Not now, maybe not ever. The pain would be there.

It always was.

With newfound control, they centered their consciousnesses on the wound, the object within it. She concentrated her effort, and the metal wisped out of existence, leaving only the fragmented brain tissue behind.

Liz felt the connection deepen, solidify in her mind. They were going to heal, now.

Starting with the obvious trauma, they began the arduous process of knitting together the rent flesh and bone. The skull came first, it’s cells practically screamed to be corrected, and the body knew how to be whole, knew to reconstruct what once had been.

Then the skin, the dermis connecting to it’s severed self in easy and predictable patterns. Liz had been right. The body wanted to mend. The question remained; did it know how?

She hadn’t exaggerated the complexities of the brain. She did what she could, followed a flow, what should be, what seemed to be. The cells still spoke to her, but she did not know if she could trust the message. Whatever. She restored connections, regenerated missing molecules from their companion cells, and felt for the operation of regenerated cells she left in her wake. The activity was alien and incomprehensible, but it was active, synopses were firing, messages were received. But the effort was tiring.

She drew more and more heavily from Michael as the struggle progressed, until she was able, finally, to do no more. She let the connection waver and disappear. It greyed out of existence, and her body tried to follow it.

But Michael wouldn’t let her. He still had a plan.

“Hey! Don’t bitch out on me now!”

Liz struggled to open her eyes, god she needed rest, but he grasped her firmly about her shoulders and gave her body a quick, ungentle shake.

She forcibly ejected the last webs of fatigue dragging at her conscious, and opened her eyes, searching for his face in the unremitting darkness. Her vision abruptly cleared.

Michael. Just Michael, a deep frown spoiling his features.

She looked down and searched Isabel for any signs of her wound. Her forehead was unmarred. Not even with thought or feeling. She was deeply asleep.

But the bullet wound was gone.

“I need you.”

“Isabel…” She started, but he roughly interjected.

“She’s sleeping, and I can’t get an answer out of her. I tried. We’re gonna have to leave it at that for now. Let’s go.”

With that, he stood, and held his hand out to her. Isabel was still resting in her lap, and she gently placed her head in the sand. She grasped his hand and accepted his aid. The pain in her leg had dissipated, and she hardly limped as they set off.

He led her in a weaving path through and around the assembled blazes still burning in the night. She sidestepped a burning tire, only to stumble upon the arm of a black clad body. Wincing, she pressed on. They stopped some distance from the last of the fiery wrecks, which she counted at eight. That made nine cars, including the undamaged sedan they had left Isabel behind beside. No, eight cars and a helicopter, she amended.

Glancing back she was amazed at the level of destruction. Michael had done that. Only Michael. She had been no help at all. He pulled her to a halt, and gestured to the ground at her feet.

A man was lying on his back, his eyes wide. Dead.

No, not dead, she decided as she watched his mouth move. He was mumbling something, or hey, maybe shouting it. Her hearing wasn’t working so well these days. She threw Michael a cautious glance, and, at his approval, she leaned over the injured man.

“Sir….got….so much…. Fire power….dead...”

She could barely make out his words, but the gist was coming through. He was trying to perform some kind of report on the ambush. He and his buddies had slaughtered her friends, her husband, and now he was trying to account for the resulting madness.

“Fix it so he thinks it worked.”

“What?” She asked.

“Him. Fix him. So he remembers us all dead.”

She jerked back; almost fell as the implication of what he was saying hit her. “Michael, no, that’s…I can’t”

“Yes you can.”

“No I…”

“I saw you,” He interjected. She stared hard into his unrelenting eyes. He knew. She didn’t even want to know. It had only happened twice, and she had managed to convince herself that it was mere coincidence. But she knew. She had mindwarped someone. Two someones. And now Michael wanted her to do it again.

“What….when did you see me?”

“At the gas station. In Wyoming.”

“The cop.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh,” No disputing it now. She had done something to the state trooper in Wyoming, convinced him that he had seen something he had not. “I don’t know if I can do it on purpose.”

“Well, guess what, you can. Now convince this fat fuck that his fucking mission was a resounding success and we are dead. So is everyone else, but, YAY! so are we.”

She looked uncertainly at the man in question. “He’s hurt.”

“Shot. Friendly fire. Huh.”

She nodded. The whole thing was so stupid. Friendly fire. What kind had it been that had killed Max?

The bullet, or maybe bullets, she didn’t know, had entered his abdomen. Maybe life threatening, maybe not. Didn’t you take forever to bleed out on gunshot wounds to the stomach?

“He’ll live for at least as long as it’ll take someone to spot this inferno.”

Oh.

No point in delaying, she thought. Time to get to business. Concentrating, she struggled to form a connection. To bridge the gap between her mind and that of the wounded soldier.

Nothing.

Then, a thought. Why not? “Michael, go get the healing stones. Maybe they can foster a connection, get me in.”

“You’ll be okay with him?” He indicated the downed soldier with a nod of his head.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

He loped off soundlessly. She watched the black clad stranger who had decimated her small family. She watched him and tried to think of nothing until Michael returned with the stones. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” He said, hands resting on his knees, searching for breath.

Gathering the stones to her, she worked to feed her connection to their warm radiance. In turn, they bolstered her power, enabled her to connect her psyche to that of the wounded man. She could feel him now, was inside him. His injury assaulted her senses. She could see the bullet, trace its path. There it was, lodged in his stomach. It had nicked the liver, and cut through his intestines. He would need a colostomy bag, she thought, not without some grim satisfaction. If he lived. The liver wound wasn’t deep, but it would bleed, was bleeding a lot. If she closed that one bit, he would be practically guaranteed to live till help came. Help and witnesses. With some trepidation, she began the process of knitting the rent flesh.

Except there was something else. All of the tissue was inflamed. Confused, she opened her senses to it, until the mystery resolved itself in her brain. Alcohol. He drank. Enough to have damaged his liver, perhaps permanently. No matter. He only had to live long enough to bear witness, not forever. Let him drink himself to death later. She had a job to do now. Finished with the small tear, she continued on the task at hand.

She drew a picture in her mind, one which featured her, her and all the occupants of the van. In it, they were all dead, explosions engulfing them, and then enlarged the picture, showing the widespread devastation of the burning vehicles. She carefully peeled this image from her mind, and supplanted it within the mind of the soldier. She pushed it in, trying to make it become a part of him. Shaking with the exertion, she redoubled her effort, and felt something…slip in his mind, a sort of shorted connection. Then the created image took to the surface of his mind, and became a part of his memories.

Gasping for breath, she released the image. It was over, it had worked.

“Is that it? Is it done?”

She looked up at Michael, his anxious face. She nodded. She wasn’t certain of her voice just yet. He grasped her hand again and helped her stand. “Time to go.”

He led her back to the car, to Isabel. She was still unconscious, huddled up on the bare ground. Liz envied her.

“Get in,” He said, indicating the open doors. She watched him bend down and struggle to lift Isabel into the back seat. Aching in mind and body, she struggled to help.

She paused a moment, enraptured. “She looks so peaceful.”

“Do you think it worked?” Michael asked, still panting from his exertions.

“I don’t know. You were there. Sort of,” She looked at him. “Did it feel like she was….y’know, whole?”

He shook his head. “I can’t tell. I guess now we wait. But first, we gotta get out of here. And we gotta cover our tracks. Hop in.”

Closing the rear doors, she crossed over to the passenger side and climbed in. She watched through the windshield as Michael raised his hand again, and in response several of the burning wrecks were propelled together, convening on the bullet ridden van. One last explosion rent the night, and he climbed in beside her.

They pulled out of the dirt and onto the highway. There they stopped and looked back. A sharp wind gusted and fanned the flames for a moment. It was a scene from a nightmare, or a movie. A big budget action adventure where everyone is hurt, but nobody dies.

Looking down, she spied a map. A Rand McNally folded to reveal a stretch of the Montana highway. There was a large circle drawn in red ink. She looked at the clock.

12:34 Am. It had been precisely seven hours since leaving the chapel. Seven hours, sixty miles an hour, with one gas stop….it looked right.

“I know where we are. Go north.”

Turning the car, he did as she suggested.

End Chapter
Last edited by thatchick on Sat Dec 11, 2004 12:08 pm, edited 6 times in total.
thatchick
Enthusiastic Roswellian
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2002 7:19 am

Chapter Two

Post by thatchick »

I'd like to thank my beta, the Lovely and Talented Belinda. and this fic would suck without the help of Linsey and Tammi.

Chapter Two


She was making a lot of noise, but it was almost ten so she didn’t mind waking Michael. Checkout was at eleven. And they had a new mess to contend with. Again. She sat beside him on the narrow bed and waited for him to acknowledge her presence. She didn’t have to wait long.

“Hey.” He said sleepily, rubbing an open palm over his eyes.

“Hey.” She glanced back at the bathroom. The door was ajar, the shower still running. She should check in on her. A sigh forced itself from her lungs. “Isabel wet the bed again.”

He winced, glancing at the bed opposite his; the tousled blankets and orange sheets shoved rudely to the floor. Naked disappointment showed on his face. She followed his gaze. “Could you?”

“Yeah,” He said. “Gimme a minute.” He closed his eyes again, turning his face from her.

She knew he needed privacy, what little she could offer. She slipped back into the tiny bathroom to measure Isabel’s progress. She examined the micro-towels provided for their inconvenience. They had suited her fine last night, but they were a stretch for Isabel. Pulling one from the metal rack, she resigned that they would have to make due. It was quickly becoming old. Making due.

“Isabel? Are you done yet?” She peeked around the curtain, spying Isabel standing passively under the spray. The shampoo had rinsed out, and she held the washcloth limply at her side. “Okay, it’s time to get out!”

Liz reached in and turned the water off. Gently taking Isabel’s hand, she ushered her out of the stall. “Here’s your towel, sweetie. Can you dry yourself off? Yeah, just like that!” She encouraged, her voice high pitched and artificially cheerful. It was patronizing and she hated it, but it seemed to work. “Now put it around you, hold it together, just like that.” She smiled warmly, trying to convey her approval. Positive reinforcement, she reminded herself. “Okay, let me see your hair.” She tried as best she could to wrap the other towel across Isabel’s forehead and affix it there. “Alright, time to get dressed!”

Michael was finished with the mattress when Liz emerged, leading the placid girl behind her. The sharp odor of spent bladder had noticeably lessoned in the dingy brown motel room, but she suspected it would linger long after they had left. Hell, it was probably here before they were. The quality of the room was more than circumspect.

He avoided Liz’s eyes, gliding into the bathroom after her, and she set about the business of dressing Isabel. It had been complicated at first, but they had a rhythm now, Isabel stepping into her underwear on cue, and turning for Liz to hook her bra. A summery calf length sheath dress from Wal-Mart completed the outfit. But for the flowers, it was exactly like the one Liz herself wore, except that hers was four sizes smaller and ankle length on her significantly shorter frame.

She wanted to tell Isabel that she looked pretty, to wrangle a response from her. She was always disappointed when it wouldn’t work, though, so she resigned herself not to try. She didn’t want to start the day with one more disappointment.

Michael exited the bathroom fully clothed, toothbrush dangling from his mouth, and without preamble, busied himself with assembling their meager belongings. Liz sat Isabel down and attacked her hair with a brush. She pulled it into a ponytail roughly centered on top of her head. Appraising her work, she exhaled triumphantly and threw herself next to Isabel to duplicate the process with her own hair. It was now just long enough to make the ponytail a viable option. Another thing to get used to.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better,” He said. But he still moved gingerly, with the overly cautious gait of someone suffering from a particularly bad hangover. Looks like another day spent driving without the radio, she thought. He finished packing and stared at her expectantly. The question he wasn’t asking was written plainly on his face.

She shook her head. No, no progress, no change, no breakthrough. Nothing had changed since yesterday, which hadn’t changed since the day before. His shoulders slumped, but she knew he wasn’t expecting any different. Hadn’t he just erased the evidence of her accident?

“Hey Izzy, it’s time to go,” He said, hunkered down and searched her eyes. Liz moved around the bed to watch Isabel’s reaction to him. A slight smile graced her mouth, but Liz fought the urge to assign significant meaning to it. Isabel always reacted that way to Michael. She lifted her arms, and Michael wrapped them around his neck for a brief but emotional hug. Isabel’s smile widened.

For a moment, Liz felt a trickle of hope. But it led nowhere. And it kind of hurt; the hope. So much did, these days.

Standing, Michael grabbed the bags, and Liz led them to the car, a Ford Crown Victoria now painted an inconspicuous tannish color. Liz unlocked the doors and shepherded Isabel into the back seat. She didn’t bother with the seatbelt. Detaching the small metal closure was one of the skills Isabel had mastered in the past day. She wanted to be grateful for what it signified, but quickly realized it only illustrated that she was capable of the same feats as a trained monkey. The thought felt mean, made her feel mean. I’m trying, Isabel, she thought. I’m trying so hard. “I can drive.”

She looked over at Michael and mentally dismissed the offer. Three days later, he was still suffering from overexertion, as much as he would like to affect otherwise. Climbing behind the wheel, she invited him to take the passenger seat. Thankfully, he didn’t argue. Turning out of the dirt parking lot, she asked him what he wanted for breakfast.

“Something to go. I wanna try for the border today.” He trained his eyes forward. Of course. An early start, then.

He turned on the radio, and she revised her earlier thought. Perhaps his headache had lessened and he would be able to share the driving duties. It would be a relief.

He changed the station relentlessly. She soon found herself struggling to keep from snapping at him. The radio seemed to favor country, and stations that purported to be classic rock, but featured mostly eighties metal bands. “Look at this crap. Shit bands that got high off hairspray fumes and fired their base players and that’s classic rock? Where’s the Metallica?” Liz thought that a perfect description of Metallica, but said nothing. See, I am a diplomat, she congratulated herself.

She pulled off the highway and into a space in front of Winchell’s. Knowing he wouldn’t trust Isabel to feed herself, she shut the engine off and prepared to linger. She looked through the glass front of the doughnut shop, the small crowd behind the counter. In her lap, she nervously twisted the ring about her finger. “I’ll wait here with Isabel.”

The sun glared off the glass front, momentarily obscuring her view. She sat quietly in the car and waited patiently until he returned, juggling a large pink box, two coffee cups and a couple miniature milk cartons of the type that were given in elementary school. He climbed into the back and offered her the open box. She picked a plain glazed, and gestured for the coffee. He handed it to her wordlessly. She turned around and ate listlessly, letting her attention wander. It was warm out today, and humid this near the ocean. They had rarely experienced heat like this in the middle of the New Mexico desert.

She watched Michael tilt the milk to Isabel’s mouth. Michael caught her eye in the rear-view mirror, and a palpable sense of sadness passed between them. She averted her eyes.

“It could be shock,” He blurted, “You agreed. It could be shock.”

“Yes….It could be shock.”

“We don’t know anything yet,” He asserted. His reflection showed his mouth pursed in anger, but she knew his enmity wasn’t really directed at her, but rather the situation. She would be hard pressed to blame him.

She let him drive after that, watching with detached interest as the greening scenery passed slowly by.
_________________

End Chapter
thatchick
Enthusiastic Roswellian
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2002 7:19 am

Chapter Three

Post by thatchick »

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I would like to thank Belinda and Linsey wholeheartedly. Without them this chapter would not have been possible. Or it would have been posiible, just craptacularly bad.

Also want to thank Dropchica who kindly created a banner for me. Thanks! oh, just one more thanks, to Tammi for being my cheerleader when I really needed one. That being said, here's ch 3.

Chapter Three

The mood in the car had become suffocating after turning south from the border at I95. Michael had silently fumed until his mood even affected Isabel. After long moments exposed to his seething tension, her shoulders had hunched and her lips had pressed into a moue that would have been sexy if it were an affectation. But it was genuine and Liz could no longer tolerate Michael’s inconsideration.

"It's just the money, Michael. Everything else is above board. It's going to work, we just need the thousand dollars," Liz reasoned. The tension had made her hyper aware, her mind alert and her senses acute, when she was just as content to drift along watching the world through the passenger window.

"Yeah, well, it's a stupid rule. Like, what if we had nine hundred ninety-nine bucks, huh, would they let us in then? What kind of country keeps you out if you don't have a thousand dollars? That's elitist or something." He snorted dramatically and worked his fists around the steering wheel.

"He said it was to ensure that anyone who crosses into Canada can get back out. You heard the guy, if we come back with the money, we can cross over. I consider it a gift, accounting for how it could have gone. After the terrorist bombings and everything..."

"Yeah, well, I'd consider it a gift if we had a thousand dollars.... as it is, we're fucked." He interrupted.

Liz had nothing to add to that, so she remained silent, occasionally watching Isabel over her shoulder. She looked so meek, drawn in upon herself, she was almost unrecognizable as their once vibrant friend. Facing the road, Liz chose instead to think of their latest adversary, the Canadian Customs Official at the border. This problem lent itself to an easy, if dangerous, solution.

By the time they had selected a motel, Liz had a plan. With no other solutions viable, she reluctantly explained it when they checked into yet another dirty brown room with twin beds and the perfunctory “old room” smell that came standard issue with a $39 dollar price tag. They had seventy-eight dollars left. Something would have to have been done sooner or later anyway, but Liz was sorry that it was coming to this. She wasn’t particularly proud of her solution.

And she was reluctant to be left behind. That meant participation, accountability; something she approached with very real dread. Michael was almost too eager to accept the risk. That too, worried her.

A quick check of the yellow pages, and they were on the road again, her plan in action.

Party Palace in Blaine, Washington had very dim interior lighting. Liz supposed it was for atmosphere, but she had to pause at the door and blink several times before her eyes adjusted. Walking over the threshold felt almost like stepping into an underground chamber. The decorator had capitalized on this effect with black wall paint and dark fixtures, creating a dim, foreboding space. The isles were crowded too close together, and the shelves brimmed with every oddity she could conceive. It was ostensibly a party supply place, but they were in effect a year round Halloween store, and the majority of their stock reflected that. It felt surreal to peruse the isles of costumes and stage blood in mid June. Days that her life didn’t feel surreal were on the wane though, so, she set aside her reservations, and looked for what they came for.

Michael found it, even though they had agreed he would wait in the car. Isabel stood shyly beside him, taking in their surrounding without much real interest.

“I’ve got it, let’s get out of here.” He impatiently led Isabel to the register, and Liz filed in behind them.

At the counter a girl with wildly green hair and an oversized plaid overcoat waited to ring up their purchase. Liz couldn’t tell if her dress was job-related festivity or some kind of personal statement. She gave them an “I-won’t-be-labelled-by-the-music-I-listen-to” stare and snapped her gum. Even the Halloween store had impulse isles, and Liz threw a few extras onto the counter. She gave Michael a defiant stare when he raised an eyebrow in question. That seventy-some-odd dollars was down to forty and change now, but she reminded herself that the situation would be resolved before the end of the night, barring any new disasters. She also knew she had been in a not entirely dissimilar situation in the past; disasters had a way of accumulating in her life. The ride back was filled with a new kind of tension.

In the motel room, Michael held their purchase up for her approval, a googly-eyed madman mask with wild black hair and a purplish protruding tongue. It was perfect. Liz sucked in a large breath and prepared herself for what was to come. “We’ll drive back down to Ferndale, less conspicuous if we do this out of town, then come straight back here. In the morning—”

“No. I’m going alone.” Michael’s voice was adamant, his head tilted back and ready for battle.

“What? No way, we agreed Michael. We’re doing this together.” Liz exclaimed.

“No we’re not. And I’m not going to argue about this Liz. I need you with Isabel. And she can’t have anything to do with this. I’m going alone.”

Liz stared at Michael in exasperation. She suddenly understood he had been planning this from the start, and, if she were completely honest, she wasn’t even surprised. He’d had his authority thrown into question at the border, and he was reasserting his masculinity in an entirely predictable and intolerable way. It would have been cute if she were some insane damsel waiting to be distressed. But she wasn’t, and he needed to be reminded of that.

“Michael, you are the only one that can do this, and for that I’ll let you get away with treating me like a child, but only this once. I’m in this too, and I won’t be ordered around.” Liz met his eyes with a level stare, imparting the truth of her statement.

A brief pause, then he nodded his consent, and she felt something of a pact birthed between them. One she had every intension of holding him to. Tiresome male posturing and mulish commands had no place in her life now.

“If something happens to you, we’ll be alone. We won’t even know if it all goes wrong.”

“That’s exactly why I need you to stay here. Protect Isabel.”

“I could protect you too, Michael. Maybe you need it.”

In the end she let him leave. To be perfectly honest, she hadn’t put up much of a protest, only enough to let him know that they would share the burden of leadership. No more unilateral decisions. She ordered dinner and let him attend to Isabel. It was well after dark, when he left, alone. Left them alone.

Just the two of them, and the hotel room was just as tiny and uncomfortable as when they had checked in. And the smell wasn’t going away either. Liz paced its confines for a few moments, mentally calculating. Twenty miles one way at fifty-five miles an hour; twenty, thirty minutes to stake a target...she allowed for traffic, interruptions and unpredictable occurrences…She walked the circuit of the room over and over, unable to remain at rest for more that a few minutes at a time. The very concept had been a bad idea; allowing Michael to assume all of the risk was worse.

Liz sat and tried to calm her nerves. She looked to Isabel, who appeared almost serene in her fugue state. For a moment, Liz wanted nothing more than to draw Isabel out of it, out of her mind and into the present. Where was she anyway? Was she in there, trapped by some crossed connection? Or was she irretrievably lost to them, the damage abiding her state, permanent?

She tried to interest Isabel in the television. She watched Isabel’s face, trying to discern what her silent companion was thinking. She gave away nothing. Days of this and Liz couldn’t determine if Isabel was experiencing happiness or its complete absence. A literal blank was what she presented to the world. What was happening in her mind as she sat there all the hours of the day without any expression or complaint?

Giving up on the programming, Liz retrieved the Party Palace bag.

“I have something for you, Isabel. I got it at the store today, the one with all the costumes?” Liz smiled into Isabel’s face, trying to catch her eyes. “A present, look.”

Liz opened the bag and pulled from it several brightly colored bottles of nail polish. She showed them each in turn to Isabel, trying to drum up enthusiasm. She watched her face and checked her body language for signs of comprehension. ”See, all the pretty colors? It’s nail polish, sweetie! ‘Member?”

Liz held a bottle of Candy Apple Red aloft, trying to tempt Isabel’s interest. No reaction, but she was accustomed to that by now. She tried anyway. This night would be long, longer still if she allowed herself to dwell on all that could go wrong. All that had gone wrong.

“What color do you want? How about this pretty pink? To match the flowers on your dress?”

Liz grasped Isabel’s hand, cradled it within her own and carefully applied the varnish to her pinkie. Not carefully enough; the brush refused to behave, an undisciplined splash of red on the nail and the skin beyond. Liz rubbed off the offending portions and demonstrated to Isabel how pleased she was with the result, cooing over it at length. The process seemed to interest her, so Liz continued. “Okay. Now give me another finger…. would you like me to use a new color? Here, how about this pretty purple?”

She eventually ran out of colors, and decided to repeat the pattern over again on the remaining fingers. She had only bought six bottles. She followed this formula through the rest of Isabel’s fingers and received similarly mixed results. Soon Liz had a gathering collection of colorfully soiled tissues and equally stained fingers on her own hands. Painting nails wasn’t easy for Liz. She had only ever possessed a marginal aptitude with traditional girl skills. She scraped her fingernail along Isabel’s cuticles, trying to shave off the spilt varnish. If she could only hold her hands steady.

Liz sighed and lamented that she was lost in the world of consumer beauty products and applications thereof. By all rights, she should have been branded a nerd back in early adolescence and left it at that. She had always considered herself lucky in such respects. It was the dynamic of her friendships that had saved her from social obscurity. The three of them together had transcended the strengths and abilities of each individual member. Vivaciousness and loyalty, brains and….

Before she even thought to shutter her mind and rally her defenses the darkness was upon her. It invaded her mind and raced unimpeded down her spine. She felt it twisting down, compressing her lungs until she could only gasp for breath. It spoke to her, the darkness, told her things she already knew and didn’t want to hear.

Death, it said. Loss so deep she knew she would never recover.

Then the sobs finally overcame her, and tears poured from her tightly closed lids. She couldn’t afford this, god she couldn’t afford this. Not now, not now, she thought. Miles to go, right? She wanted to save this, horde it for a time she could savor the pain and promise of oblivion the very blackness of her grief predicted. Just not today, not in front of Isabel. Never that.

Her control reasserted itself with thoughts of Isabel. She had to care for her now. Michael was gone. Even as she fought it, her mind reminded her that she and Isabel could be alone forever now, Michael lost to them with the foolishness of their actions tonight.

It had been her plan.

Hours passed. Her calculations had been optimistic, ridiculously so. To pass the time, she showered, and then assisted as Isabel did the same. Scrubbed and fresh faced, Isabel looked so young, a teenager at a sleepover, any minute she would erupt in a peel of giggles. The illusion was strong, it gripped Liz with a lure just as compelling as the one before. Just like her grief, it took a long time to shake it off.

For her part, Isabel seemed intrigued by her new nail colors. They would catch her eye, the colors sparkling in the light thrown from the television set, and she would gaze at them for long moments. If she were affected by Liz’s anxiety, she did not show it. Liz struggled to rein her insurgent emotions. The time bled slowly toward morning.

Finally, the door burst open with Michael’s telltale violence, and he stepped back into the room. Grateful for his presence at last, Liz stood to greet him.

No, it wasn’t Michael!

Liz’s heart pounded so hard it hurt her chest as she stepped forward to confront the invader, only to realize her mistake and nearly collapse in relief. The mask. He still wore it.

“That’s not funny, Michael.” She said, condemnation in her voice.

The face staring back at her smirked in a familiar manner then disappeared with a wave of his hand. Left behind was the googly-eyed madman, which he tore from his head. Michael smiled and held up a large crumpled paper bag for her approval.

“You did it.” She said, eyes wide. In answer he dumped the contents of the bag. Loose bills flew out, spread over the bed and fluttered to the floor. Liz stared.

“You sound surprised, " He complained. "A little unscheduled withdrawal at the ATM. ATMs. I hit two.” At Liz’s warning look, he added, “Both in Ferndale, twenty good miles south of here. And NO, before you ask, I wasn’t seen, and I left the car down the block like you said. Not that anyone would recognize it on account of it being black at the time.”

Liz nodded and tried to smile her approval. It was a lot of money. Something she never really gave much thought to, but looking at so much of it all at once was a little…well, kind of exhilarating. She was forced to repress the impulse to run her hands through it. She idly wondered if that was what greed meant. To be so fascinated by money when her whole world had collapsed? Twice. Twice now, her world was…. No time for such thoughts.

“How much is it?” She asked, unwilling to analyze her feeling on the matter. They were not to be trusted on this night.

“Don’t know. A lot. More than I expected, but it is a Friday night. High customer volume. They must stock up for the weekend.” He sat on the edge of the bed and began collecting the twenty-dollar bills into one large sloppy pile. Liz reached out and helped, and they began to stack it into piles for convenient counting. It would obviously come in the thousands, that much was clear.

Michael turned from his stack, letting Liz continue with the chore. She watched him sit on the opposite bed and give Isabel a warm, if delayed greeting. His mood had improved with his accomplishment. But he still hadn’t deigned to be civil. Liz was long used to it.

Isabel smiled at Michael and fluttered her hands in the light. He noted the polish, oohhed and ahhed at length; Liz stood, momentarily dumbstruck. Something had happened, was happening. Something new.

“Michael…” She started, her mouth open in shock. “Michael!”

He turned to her, confusion on his face. Liz knew she must be grinning like an idiot, but for once she didn’t care.

“Do you know what that is? Do you know what that means?!”

He furrowed his brows, and Liz continued excitedly. “What she’s doing, Michael! Self-awareness. She likes her new nails, and she’s trying to impress you! That’s self-awareness!”

His face slowly lit from within as the significance of what Liz was saying sunk in. Something that had been achingly absent had finally appeared. Isabel was showing signs of self-identity. She was alive, and she was in there!

Liz needed a hug, felt the physical ache for arms around her. This revelation had come like a personal triumph after all they had endured, and she wanted to relish the sensation. She felt she could float away from the joy of it if untethered, and looked to her companions on the bed. Michael had turned from her, though, and was holding Isabel, whispering into her hair. Liz couldn’t make out what.

Still smiling Liz felt the impulse wither and fade. Isabel was Isabel. She could be happy with that.

In the end, the money came out to more than nine thousand dollars. More than enough to get them safely into Canada. They planned for an early morning check out, and prepared the money for inconspicuous transport. Michael suggested changing the denomination, increasing their resources, but Liz pointed out, not for the first time, that passing counterfeit bills was an easy and sure way for them to get caught.

Pleased with the effect, Liz also painted Isabel’s toes. In the morning, when Isabel pouted about her shoes covering her toenails, Michael insisted she go barefoot. Liz conceded that it had brightened Isabel’s mood. Perhaps this would affect them all, a welcome optimism infused in the remnants of the group. They were leaving the country that had persecuted them. She wanted to be happy or even hopeful about the future. It was the first time in days that she had allowed herself the luxury.

End Chapter
thatchick
Enthusiastic Roswellian
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2002 7:19 am

Post by thatchick »

Many thanks to those who FBed - means a lot to know pple appreciate all the hard work I've poured into this....

And, of course, I bow before Belinda- Polar Truckin/Polar Thestral/Zanzabehr, the many named one - Beta extrordinaire.

Who rocks. 8)


Chapter Four

Vancouver was an island, bordered by water, verdant and green, lush and thriving, much more so than Roswell, New Mexico. Trees littered the landscape, even in the major metropolitan centers. The tree outside their small apartment had been rudely shorn of its branches by some rough toothed machine. It stood there still, halfway to the point of extinction, ugly stumps in place of its limbs. Its height remained unaltered; tall and centered in the square of their windowsill like a framed picture of half a tragedy.

One small twig grew from the rounded remains of an amputated limb. From it sprouted new green leaves. Liz wondered whether it would re-grow its ruined branches given enough time. What would six months see for that tiny little twig? Would it reinvent itself, part to whole, like mathematics, as a living thing? Or would someone come and finish the job they had started; rip the tree from the ground by its still living roots?

Michael had a new hobby. He must have acquired it sometime after she went to sleep last night and before she rose this morning, because there he sat, pen and paper, drawing some sort of portraiture. Thick black lines on smooth white paper. Faces, line drawings; he was eating up paper sketching them over and over.

She turned back to the desiccated tree and the large textbook sitting in front of her. So much hope tied into this thick blue book. Neuroanatomy and Physiology. She had spent much of the past two days going over it, trying to absorb the information it contained, but four years of advanced high school science could not compensate for a lack of a medical degree, and much of its contents remained indecipherable.

And insufferably boring.

I am a widow for one week, she thought. In movies, they skip this part. Always, always, time is propelled forward, it is six months later, and the majority of suffering has passed sight unseen.

She needed more clothing; she and Isabel had five outfits between them. But she did not want to go clothes shopping twice in the week since her husband, her friends had been slaughtered. It was so unseemly and callous, almost sacrilegious. Is this what they didn’t show in all those movies? She had lost everyone she loved, everyone important in her life was lost to her, and she was going to go shopping for new clothes. Again.

Liz looked around the small furnished weekly room they had rented. The room she was sitting in featured the kitchenette, dining and living rooms all in one largish space. Michael sat on the ratty old couch surrounded by his drawing utensils. Isabel was across from her, cereal bowl and spoon poised for another bite.

They had yet to purchase a television set and Liz was bored. This was boring. But that too seemed wrong, her reaction to the long summer days cooped up together in this stuffy apartment with her stuffy medical textbook. To do something, to do nothing, none of it made any emotional sense. What did one do in the six months they never showed in the movies?

Liz wanted it to be six months from now. If she were a widow for six months, would she escape the pain and numbness punctuating her life? She wasn’t sure she knew how to be a widow. Dignified pain and refined suffering. Liz herself felt raw and insubstantial.

“Try putting some sugar in the cereal,” Michael said, interrupting her chain of thoughts. Liz followed his gaze to Isabel, who had stopped eating and sat motionless at the table, the spoon drooping from her open palm. She had lost interest with feeding herself again.

Liz sighed. “I’m not going to give her a bowl full of sugar for breakfast, Michael. If we start her off that way, she’ll never want anything but the sugary stuff.”

“Well, how else are we gonna teach her to eat? She has to want to eat it enough to motivate herself, right?”

Liz turned back to Isabel and considered. “What about Tabasco sauce? She’ll like it better with that, right?”

Michael considered, and then nodded his head. “Would be better with sugar and Tabasco, though.”

“Well, I’m not putting the sugar in, so it’ll have to do.”

Liz added a touch of the spicy condiment to Isabel’s cereal and adjusted her grip on the spoon, assisting its rise to her mouth. She held her breath until Isabel brought the spoon back to her mouth voluntarily, spilling its contents into her mouth and down her chin. She smiled rather smugly as she wiped Isabel’s face.

“Hurry up, I want to get this over with early.” Michael said, ignoring her victory.

“The faster this goes, the messier it gets, Michael.” Liz reminded him, lingering in the face of his impatience. Because of his impatience.

**************

There was a light rain falling as they made their way through the city streets. The sky had drizzled nonstop since their arrival three days previous. The morning was warm, but gray, and looked to stay that way.

Michael pulled into a parking space and cut the engine. Liz stared ahead at the Wal-Mart logo on the sprawling complex in front of them. They really were everywhere. It was convenient one stop shopping, though, and she supposed that was all that really mattered for now. The parking lot was a myriad of puddles they had to traverse in order to make their way to the entrance.

Inside, they were greeted by an unflatteringly bright light and a terribly friendly man who gave them a red cart with a smile Liz couldn’t manage to return. They negotiated their way through the teeming masses, headed toward the women’s section. Faced with the crowds, Liz did not feel prepared for the day’s work. Shopping had always been a group effort, something to be shared between friends, like ice cream and secrets. This was different.

She felt young and alone.

Once they made their way to the apparel section, her own needs were easily met. Random tops and low-slung jeans, but she was certain of her own size. These were flung into the cart without much conscious evaluation. Isabel’s clothing choices proved to be more difficult. She eyed the jeans section, considering her options. A number of dresses and tops were added to the growing pile in the basket.

Michael wandered behind her and critiqued her choices at odd intervals.

“Why not get her some of these?” He asked, indicating the pants across the isle.

“We’ll have to size them first.”

“Wait, you know her dress size. We went over this the first time.”

“I know her dress size, I don’t know her pants size.”

“How can they be different?” Michael asked, his face a mask of confusion.

“You really don’t know anything about being a girl, Michael,” Liz said, marching Isabel towards the fitting room, several of pairs of pants in various sizes draped over her arm. “Come on, Isabel, we’re going to have some fun!” She said, knowing she would need to drum up interest for the procedure to work.

Entrusting Michael with the cart, she entered the dressing area.

“You can only take three items into the dressing room at a time,” The haggard looking attendant warned Liz with a superfriendly smile and wary eyes. She watched closely as Liz led her silent companion into the cubicle.

“Take off your shoes, Isabel, we’re going to try these on!” Liz said brightly, trying as best she could to whisper. Verbal coaching worked best, but she was tired of undue interest in Isabel’s condition. She wanted to be inconspicuous, in and out without a lot of attention. People had a tendency to stare at grown women led around like a child. It was discomforting to be the focus of such attention. Something to be avoided when able, endured with trepidation.

Isabel was helpful, as helpful as she knew to be, lifting her legs and standing on cue, and Liz was grateful for it. It wasn’t as though her company was unpleasant. Just….emotionally complex.

“Okay, not these ones, we’ll try nine,” She whisper-screamed, coaxing Isabel out of and into another pair. “Oh, that might work! You see? It fits! Do you like them, sweetie?”

Isabel was nonplussed, but Liz was satisfied. Size nine, she decided and quickly gathered what they needed to move on.

The attendant followed their movements with her gaze, and Liz rushed past her overly friendly questions, mumbling that they had, indeed, found what they were looking for, yes thank you. Still, a couple had taken note of Isabel’s childlike state, whispering conspiratorially to each other.

Liz rushed passed, body stiff and head held unnaturally high.

Back at Woman’s Apparel, she found the cart abandoned, Michael having wandered off in their absence.

Things went quicker without his input.

He showed up again at the personal hygiene section, interrupting Liz’s perusal of the shampoo isle.

“You’re not getting that,” He said, radiating disapproval. He shifted the bundle he held over his shoulder to stand tall and forbidding over her.

“What? It’s a good brand.” Liz said quizzically.

“Vanilla Floral? I am not walking around smelling like a wedding bouquet-“Liz contained her wince “-lets try getting something a little less girly?”

Liz sighed and searched up then down the row, but nearly every item promised floral scents of some kind.

“How about fruit scented? Here’s strawberry, or how about apple?”

He gave her a skeptical glance.

“Ah, cucumber melon, you should love that, it’s acceptably phallic.”

She wafted the bottle under his nose, until he nodded consent. Throwing it in the basket she moved on the feminine hygiene isle, leaving the basket for Michael and the assortment of purchases slung over his arm.

He followed only long enough to note their destination, drop off the basket, and disappear again.

He reappeared in time to catch her in the check out lane, a large box depicting a television balanced on one hip, another featuring a steaming coffee pot in his right hand.

“I thought we were going to get a small portable TV for now?” She asked, eyeing the conspicuously large box.

“It is small. Nineteen inch. Practically nonexistent.”

“Uh huh.”

Silence stretched for a moment. He set the appliances on the black surface of conveyer belt and faced stonily forward, body rigid.

“I didn’t mean anything by that bouquet stuff back there…I didn’t….” He trailed off.

“It’s okay, Michael. I know you didn’t.” She conceded, well aware that the tension that had coursed between them had little to do with incidental slights. His behavior was easy enough to interpret for the trained observer. He was trying to re-establish alpha status.

She was not making it easy for him, though.

She placed the sanitary napkins on top of the TV; the large print announcing Kotex prominently on display. She could accept his apology with all the grace he had shown her of late.

A moment later, adding more items on the counter, the Kotex box disappeared. She found it in a less conspicuous spot, nestled between the shampoo and the coffee pot, and fought the urge to smile.

Petty passive aggression was best met head on.

Out of the crowds, even the gray cloud cover and misting rain was welcome. The ride back was typically silent, but the relief Liz felt at having completed their task masked any misgivings between her and Michael.

One week…..she thought, idly watching the trees fly by the passenger window.

End Chapter
thatchick
Enthusiastic Roswellian
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2002 7:19 am

Chapter 5

Post by thatchick »

AN: Bows down and worships the uberbeta Belinda – a great friend and a kick ass cheerleader. And while thanking cheerleaders, I’d like to thank my own personal cheerleader (and occasional whip-wielding task master) Mary, who never lets me get away with shit. The bitch.
Also many thanks are due to my lovely readers and those who pestered for more – I hear ya, guys, I’m just, y’know, lazy. And who offered cookies? Someone offered cookies…
Special shout out to Muse, resident Canadian, without whose help this fic would have several factual errors ninety nine percent of you wouldn’t catch, but I’d know. Thanks, Muse!
Chapter Five

The mirror was clouded with condensation, and, knowing it would only make it worse, Liz rubbed a spot clear. Raising a brush to her hair, she still paused with muted shock at the length, though nearly two weeks had passed since she had chopped it off. At the time, it had felt…. almost cathartic, roughly cutting the tightly fisted locks, the long strands falling about her to the floor. Funny how the satisfaction she had felt at the mutilation of her hair had fled in the weeks since. Now it brushed her shoulders in choppy feathering. Almost artfully messy. A fashion statement, then.

The mirror clouded again, this time worse for her efforts, but she didn’t bother to clear it, and resigned instead to brush her hair through the foggy haze. She hardly ever bothered with more than a ponytail these days, anyway.

In the living room, Michael still slumbered on the couch, legs splayed and mouth open. Isabel sat squirming in a familiar manner in the overstuffed chair, and Liz chastised herself for taking such a long shower.

“Oh, sweetie, do you have to go to the bathroom? I’m sorry, here, let’s just…Okay, now I’ll close the door, and you know what to do, right?”
Back out in the living room, Michael began to stir. Liz stepped into the kitchenette to prepare breakfast. As much as cereal and milk needed preparing.
The table was littered with drawings. She sifted through them while waiting for Isabel to emerge from the bathroom. When this failed to occur, Liz went back to fetch her.
“Isabel?” She cautiously opened the door, hoping to find Isabel finished and preparing for breakfast.

“Okay, here let me help. No, just…there, now the other leg…okay, let’s wash up…are you hungry, sweetie?”

Sitting Isabel down at the table, she turned to catch Michael shuffling to the table, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with long fingered hands.

“How good are you with hair coloring?” She asked.

“Are you implying something?”

“No, just, Isabel used to be able to change hair colors with a wave of her hand. Can you do that?”

“You have a burning desire to be a blonde or something?” He asked, eyebrows raised.

“No, for her, Michael!” Liz gestured back toward Isabel, who sat placidly slurping at her Rice Chex. Her hair was a faded brown, falling about her eyes as she ate.

“I thought…. y’know, something familiar. If she had her blonde hair back, maybe she’d take a greater interest in her appearance. She only ever turned it brown to look more grown up anyway…” Liz shrugged.

“Oh, is that why she did it? Never liked it much, anyway…” He sat beside Isabel, reaching for the cereal box. “Yeah, okay, I’ll give it a try. Later. I’ve gotta go somewhere today.”

“Where?”

“Out.”
“Oh, out!” Liz rolled her eyes and sat down for her own bowl of cereal. “Yeah, I was going to stop by there, but if you’re already going…”
Michael’s shoulders were tense, his eyes fixed. There would be no further explanation. She didn’t bother to argue. She was learning to pick and choose her arguments. She and Isabel had their own plans.

A knock sounded at the door and Michael, ever cautious, rose with a silencing gesture of his hand. He peeked around the curtain, and visibly relaxed.

“It’s the Jesus freaks.”

“Michael, can you not?” Liz asked, exasperated. She quickly darted for the door before he could answer it. “Hi, can I help you?”

The two young men, wearing matching white shirts and ties immediately launched into their presentation, gentle questions and uplifting message. However, Michael, busy with throwing his various are supplies into a bag, let his opinion be heard.
“….spreading the gospel of our lord…”

“….always in the poor neighborhoods, you notice….”

“…..light in the darkness, a message of peace and love……”

“…..victimizing the underprivileged, undereducated……”

“….like to present you with our gift - a bible - no obligation…”

“…just close the door in their faces, or you’ll never….”

Liz thanked the missionaries profusely and closed the door, her face flushed hotly with embarrassment.

“Do you have to treat them like that? They’re people too, you know?”

Michael stood tall, duffel bag slung on one arm, sketchpad in his hand. “You can’t be encouraging them, Liz, they’ll just-“
“Michael, they don’t mean any harm, just the opposite in fact!”

“Whatever. I’ve got to go.”

She backed away from the door and let him fly past with a barely repressed sigh.

Turning to Isabel, she groaned in frustration at the mess running down the front of her blouse. Sticky milk, stained a bright pink from the Tabasco Sauce, plastered her shirtfront to her chest. Of course.

“Okay, back to the bathroom!” The important part was to remain cheerful. Smiling cheerful happy face, Liz thought. It was fast becoming second nature: the irony of her thoughts bleeding out in the face of Isabel’s needs.

When she finally finished attending to Isabel, Liz gathered the healing stones, the three Michael had salvaged, and laid out on the floor of the living room, furniture pushed back to afford them room. Looking about the space, Liz nodded and said, “Okay, Isabel, come here.”

Gently, Liz directed Isabel to sit, then lay in the center of the room, and placed the stones, around her head like a halo. Taking a big breath, she began.

“Now, Isabel, I need you to look into my eyes.”
************
In her dream, she sat cross-legged on the floor playing a game. An old favorite, from her days in Miss Karen’s Kindergarten class. She is surrounded by cards, all laid out face side down. She flipped a card over to reveal a picture, a familiar picture. They were all like that. She flipped another trying to match the two. Wrong card, the picture had revealed a different smiling face. She tried again, and failed again, but she kept going, trying to match from memory, from dumb luck, any way she could.

She couldn’t. She grew frantic, desperately slapping over more and more cards, tears dripping from her eyes, searching for the mated pictures as if lives were at stake.

They were.

When she woke, she lay in silence. Isabel beside her breathed deep and even. Her face was serenely devoid of expression. Her sleep was undisturbed by nightmares.

That scared Liz more than the dream.

It was like that every night. What happened to Isabel’s mind that caused her not to dream? Was the damage so bad that it affected simple, basic brain function? Will she ever be whole again?

*********

Exhausted, Liz severed the connection. She had labored over the interior of Isabel’s mind for hours, and she simply could not hold the connection any longer. Isabel blinked and sat up groggily.


Liz’s stomach growled audibly, and she was suddenly intensely hungry. Her body had used up all its available resources in her quest for answers, and she needed to replenish her reserves. Stumbling with sudden clumsiness, she rose to her feet and shuffled gracelessly into the kitchen.

In the refrigerator, she found the cold cuts; Michael had insisted on deli slices, along with the cheese and bread. Pausing, she grabbed the mayonnaise. Isabel, who had followed her into the tiny kitchen, refused to touch any sandwich without mayo.


Unable to wait, Liz stuffed some turkey into her mouth as she slathered the bread with a spoon, the only silverware she could find.

Michael had pre-sliced tomatoes. He didn’t like the way she did it.

Lunch fixed, and knowing she would regret it later when she cleaned up the mess, she added Cheetos to their plates and seated Isabel and herself at the small table to eat.

Table manners were next on the list. But she could tackle that later, when she wasn’t so ravenous. Now, she needed time to think about what she had learned, what she suspected.

**********

It was nearly dark when Michael returned, the sun barely hovering over the distant buildings that made up the Toronto horizon. He had been gone for over eleven hours.

Liz muted the television at the sound of the key in the lock.

She rose from the well-worn couch, where she and Isabel had been nestled waiting impatiently, at least on her behalf, for Michael to return.

He stumbled in, imperfectly balancing the bag and along with a new portfolio and easel.

Liz took a long steadying breath in preparation before launching into her tirade. Her anger was almost a physical presence in her body.

”Where have you been? You’ve been gone hours, all day!”

He grimaced at her in response, carefully placing his possessions beside the television stand, before turning his attention to the playfully swatting Isabel.

“Hey, Izzy, how’s it going?” He smiled, greeting her with a one armed hug that she fell into with abandon. They slumped back onto the couch in a casual embrace, Isabel beaming her simple joy.

Liz swallowed a large lump of seething resentment, which kind of burned going down. She stared pointedly, daring Michael to acknowledge her.

He patted Isabel’s hand and smoothed her hair before turning his attention to Liz.

“Working.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve been working.” He said, exuding self-satisfied confidence.

Liz felt the scowl start at her too-wide eyes and slowly envelope her entire face.

Working? You got a job? As in, you got a job and you didn’t bother to tell me you were even thinking about working? I’ve been sitting here for hours on end imagining the worst -- that something happened to you! What if something had happened to you, and Isabel and I were all alone, and I didn’t even know if it was safe; if our apartment had been compromised; if we were sitting ducks! And all the while you were out seeking gainful employment?!”

“Someone had to. That money isn’t going to last forever.” He shrugged.

“And you didn’t feel it was important enough to tell me? Like I don’t deserve to know what’s going on?”

“I wasn’t sure I’d get it.”

Mouth agape, Liz let a stretch of silence fall between them.

“You weren’t – Michael this is about more than your potential embarrassment about not getting hired!”

“I wasn’t embarrassed!” He interrupted tersely.

“Whatever, that’s not the point. I had no idea where you were, or what you were doing. I didn’t even know you were thinking about getting a job.” Her exasperation was starting to make her repeat herself, but she wanted Michael to understand the magnitude of his actions.

He shrugged again, and Liz thought she would be forced to visit some form of physical violence upon him to kill that streak of infuriating nonchalance once and for all. She settled for mocking it in an exaggerated shrug of her own.

“This is so like you! You just decide to embark on some secret mission that could put all of our lives in jeopardy and don’t even bother to inform me!”

“I’m not putting you in danger! I’ve got it all under control.” He answered defensively, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Not putting us in danger? We are wanted fugitives, if you happen to recall, not to mention illegal aliens, at that!” At his ironic look, she amended, “In more ways than one.”

“Look, I said I had it all under control,” Michael said, reaching beneath his back and drawing out the black leather wallet attached to his hip chain. He flipped it open to reveal an unfamiliar driver’s license emblazoned with a strange, three petalled flower.

“Isaac Irving Goldberg, of Vancouver, Ontario Canada, at your service.”

Liz leaned forward to see that the license did, in fact claim to be for Isaac Irving Goldberg, born October 2, 1979, 180cm, and featured a picture of Michael Guerin smirking up at her.

In the exact same smirk that greeted her from the couch.

“Congratulations honey, we’re Jewish.”

“What did you do? How did you get that? Is it authentic? They’ll know if it isn’t!” She stammered.

“Of course it’s not authentic. Do I look like an Isaac to you?” He snorted, then continued in a more sober, lecturing tone. "The persona is legit. Isaac kinda misplaced his wallet and I was kind enough to find it and return it to him. Got to be careful, these days. Damn identity thieves. They’re everywhere.”

“You stole someone’s wallet – we were trying to keep a low profile, and you go out committing petty larceny! Or do you not remember that wanted fugitive bit!”

He gave her a crooked smile in response.

“So you did all this, concocted this plan…Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Hey, I did what I had to do.”

“You had to take it upon yourself to make these decisions all alone, decisions that affect all of us, and never bother to share this with me? Why?”

“It had to be done. I needed a job and you had to stay here and be with Isabel. I didn’t – don’t want to argue about it.”

“Wait, wait, I take serious issue with this. You needed to work? What--I couldn’t work? I’ve been employed since I was fourteen years old, Michael. I could get a job, and you could watch Isabel. She responds to you, you’re the one with the bond with her.”

“But you have to stay here and take care of her!”

“That makes no sense! Why? Why can’t I go out and earn the money?” Liz cried, exasperated. “And if you feed me some line about how you’re the man-“

’Cause you have to stay here and now you’re gonna! I work and you stay here with us!”

Liz fell back on her heels, staring openmouthed at Michael.

“You think I’m going to leave.” She said in a small, shocked voice. “You think I am just going to up and take off and leave you and Isabel all alone.”

She gestured to Isabel, sitting beside him on the couch, wearing the lost and forlorn look she always wore when they fought.

Michael didn’t answer, just averted his gaze and held tightly to Isabel’s hand, staring sullenly into the distance between them.

Liz took in the stubborn set of his jaw, the rigidity of his features, and saw her answer written there.

“You do. You think I would just abandon you like that-“

“Well, why wouldn’t you?” He exclaimed, jumping from his position so suddenly that Liz took a startled step backwards, her hip colliding with the television.

“Why not? What’s keeping you here? You, you’re human, you can walk away any time, go anywhere you want. Why would you stay here, be burdened with us?” His eyes took a wild, angry glint as he spoke, and by the end of his speech, his breathing was ragged, his fists clenched at his sides. Battle stance.

In contrast, Liz felt the last vestiges of her anger drain from her body, felt her skin actually cool from the loss of nervous energy. She didn’t want to fight anymore now. This was too real, too intense. Too soon.

She shook her head in denial.

“You know I wouldn’t do that, wouldn’t leave you; leave Isabel.”

“No, Liz, I don’t. You have nothing keeping you here, nothing tying you to us any more.”

Liz felt herself shrinking under his attack. She didn’t like the direction this conversation was taking, wasn’t prepared to deal with his arguments head on.

“I am keeping me here. I belong here. With you.”

“You belonged with Max.”

Liz recoiled, drawing in a long shaky gasp.

The word just sat there in the gap between them. After sixteen days of studiously avoiding any mention of it.

She threw a compulsive glance at Isabel, gauging her reaction to the name, but found only the huddled confusion she wore when angry voices were present.

Michael was silent, but for his heavy breathing, his eyes defying Liz to argue.

She turned away, felt her body crumple in upon itself. A defensive posture, trying to make as small a target as possible.

“But he’s not here anymore. I’m here, and I need to make sure you stay. Stay with us.” His voice was calm now, conciliatory.

Hot tears threatened to scald her eyes, her throat constricted painfully. She choked out her only possible reply.

“I’m not ready, I’m not ready for this.”

Liz screwed her eyes shut and refused to cry, swallowing the impulse to sob, taking slow even breaths, her body occasionally shuddering involuntarily.

“Welcome to the family. We’re all not ready for this,” He said in a not ungentle voice.

A little while later, when she felt capable of speech, she faced him and said, ”I am.”

She looked up at him when he didn’t answer and met his daunting gaze, trying to show him her own resolve.

“A part of the family. And I’m not going anywhere.”

He glared at her for a long moment, obviously taking her measure, looking for cracks. He must not have found any, for eventually he averted his eyes.

“I had to. I had to be sure you would stay…I thought,” He paused, sighing before he continued, “I thought if you, if you had a job, a life outside of here, you would just…take it, take your independence…” his voice trailed off into uncertainty, betraying his nervousness.

Liz nodded, still struggling with her rampaging emotions, but she understood. This was the closest thing to an apology she was likely to get from Michael Guerin – Isaac Irving Goldberg, she corrected.

They stood still, not daring to face each other for a long stretch of time, until Isabel broke the silence with a sudden laugh, overly loud in the absence of noise that preceded it.

They both turned to face her. She was watching the television, her unease abating in the aftermath of the shouting. On it, Red Green was doing something improbable with duct tape and a store mannequin, or possibly a woman, it was hard to tell.

Michael sat back next to her, grinning exaggeratedly at whatever she had found humorous.

Liz picked up the remote and turned up the volume. She needed a cover, as she slunk quietly into the darkened bedroom. She buried herself under the covers, as she hoped to bury the turmoil Michael’s words had created in her bruised soul.

It was a long time before she emerged, eyes puffy, but dry.

Michael was kind enough to ignore her reappearance. He was curled up next to Isabel, who sat beside him with drooping eyelids watching a situation comedy play out before them. Seeing them like this, she understood his doubts. They were a pair, comfortable with each other’s presence. She was the outsider. Whether Isabel was aware of it or not, she and Michael had years of history to draw upon. That, at least, had translated beyond her injury.

Skating away from such dangerous thoughts, Liz seated herself into the understuffed chair beside them and watched the conclusion of the not terribly funny show.

“It’s late. Isabel should be getting ready for bed about now.”

Michael nodded his agreement and grasped Isabel’s hand, leveraging her up off the sofa.

“You heard the lady, bed time!” He sing-songed, leading her into the bedroom. “Let’s get your jammies.”

Liz could feel the urge to laugh, in some distant part of her psyche, at Michael’s use of the word “jammies”. She didn’t bother to resist it. She didn’t need to. It echoed hollowly and died out of its own volition.

From the bedroom she heard the muffled sounds of Michael preparing Isabel for bed.

“Make sure she brushes her teeth,” She couldn’t help but admonish.

“I know what I’m doing,” He answered disdainfully.

Later, after he had successfully laid her to bed and wished her good dreams, Liz spoke.

“She doesn’t dream.”

At his sharply inquiring look, she amended, ”Or if she does, they aren’t affecting her.

“She doesn’t have nightmares, Michael.”

She searched his face for understanding, but he wore his familiar foreboding look.

“Doesn’t that worry you?”

When he failed to answer she continued, “It worries me. Her condition…Michael, I think I know what’s wrong with her.”

At this he strode forward, leaning into her space and made to grasp her forearms before reconsidering and sitting on the couch.

“What? What do you know?”

She read his anxiety, and considered how best to present her hypothesis.

“It’s like, um…god how I wish I had her talent for dream walking, it would make this so much simpler. What she remembers, what she’s thinking.”

“You said you knew what was wrong with her.” He interrupted, impatience coloring his voice.

“I have a theory. I think…I’ve been connecting with her, like trying to heal her, trying to figure out what’s wrong, why she’s like this, but…it’s so overwhelming! Her mind, THE mind is so complex I can’t grasp it all, I can’t get any comprehensive overview of what is really going on.

“It’s like trying to comprehend a forest when you can only see the millions of individual chlorophyll that make up the millions of individual cells in the billions of individual leaves in the thousands and thousands of trees. I can’t get any kind of comprehensive overview. I can only monitor the details, what’s going on, the chemistry the neural transmission of the individual cells. But grasping the whole picture and relaying that into what I’ve learned about brain function is…hard.” She finished lamely.

Michael stared, naked impatience warring across his face.

“But I think maybe I’m finally able to understand the pattern.” She sat beside him, animated now in what she had learned.

“It’s something too vast to grasp in the individual sessions, but I’ve been searching her whole brain, trying to understand why the damage isn’t centered in the point of impact. And it’s not; the right frontal lobe is only the tip of the iceberg. Her whole brain, all of her major operating systems, from short and long term memory to small and large motor skills, even her emotional center, seem depressed. But, here’s the thing, she’s forming new connections. Huge, unimaginable amounts of new connections. That means she's learning, learning how to use her mind, regaining use of motor function, maybe even language.”

He nodded, hope beginning to animate his features, “She’s getting better. See, I told you, she’s getting better!”

“No, no…um…There’s a pattern to it. You see, it’s the amount of connections she’s forming – it’s not normal, not for an adult. An adult human that is, I don’t know about aliens. But I know about humans, and the kind of activity she’s expressing…it IS normal in children. Small children, newborn to three year olds. After that, the amounts of connections are actually reduced. Refined and reduced.”

His face was impassive, a mask she could not decipher, so she continued.

“Her brain, Michael…From what I can tell, it isn’t damaged. It’s the brain of a fully functioning child. She’s a child.”

“What are you saying? That Isabel is gone and now there’s a baby in her body?” He asked, fear and despair etched across his face.

“No…ugh, maybe. Her mind is behaving like a small child, a toddler, but I think, maybe, she’s still Isabel, that she is in there. You prove that every day.”

Michael furrowed his brows and stared at her in confusion.

“Her reactions to you – Michael, she LOVES you! She knows you, you make her happy just by noticing her.”

Liz leaned forward, trying to wish him into understanding.

“Hey, no, we weren’t, aren’t like that-“

“No, not like that, not romantically! Familiar, like…like you used to be,” She thought for a moment. “A long time ago, when you were sick, we thought you were going to die, Michael, you should have seen her. She was so…motherly – loving, concerned. She cared about you a lot, you know. I think that is what has translated past the injury. Her instinctual love for you.”

“Yeah, but that’s instinct. I want the real Isabel back. All of her.”

Liz looked down, the now familiar sense of defeat settling over her, weighing her down with it’s inevitable gravity of despair.

“I just don’t know. I don’t know if she’s there any more.”

“Yeah, but it could be – this depressed brain stuff- it could be depression, right? Like psychosomatic? Like a post trauma thing. She's just repressed it all.”

“I don’t know. I guess, but…repression – I don’t know if it explains the magnitude of her brain dysfunction. I don’t think it can.”

“But it could! What do you know? Who are you? A high-school senior with a serious science geek on? How would you know about this complex neuroscience shit?”

Liz sunk into herself, not able to argue the point any longer. She really didn’t know what she was doing.

“It’s just a theory. All we have are theories.”

“Well, I don’t have a theory. I know. What I know is that Isabel is going to get all better and back to herself again.” He finished emphatically, as if that resolved the issue.

And in practice it did, because Liz was too exhausted to argue when she herself wasn’t sure.

Michael settled back into his seat, obviously running through the situation, assuring himself of the outcome.

Tired of this, Liz asked, “So what’s your job?”

“Huh? Oh, Caricaturist.”

“What?”

“Caricaturist, you know, like at the mall and parties and stuff. I draw bigheaded pictures making fun of people and they give me money for the insult. Or they get carted off by mall security.”

She felt a smile grace her lips at the thought of Michael getting paid to mock people. Almost poetic.

“Yeah, well, it’s late, I wanna go to bed, and you’re sitting in my bedroom,” he said pointedly.

Taking the broad hint, Liz stood and prepared to retire. As she turned to the closed bedroom door, Michael said behind her, “Do you want to talk?”

He said it almost gingerly, and when she faced him, she saw the hesitancy of his features.

Talk.

No, no, no she did most emphatically NOT want to talk. Not now, maybe not ever.

“No,” She said simply. After a second, she added, “Do you?”

He grimaced and shook his head so forcefully his whole body copied the motion.

“No.”

“Okay.” She said faintly, concealing, a certain measure of gratitude.

As she stepped into the dark room, Michael stopped her.

“It could have been worse.”

“What could have been worse?” Liz asked.

“The wallet. The first guy’s name was Richard Dickley.”

At that she did laugh, however briefly.

End Chapter
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