FINDING HOME (AU,M/L,MATURE) [WIP]
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- Twilighteyes
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 106
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: us
CH 42
CHAPTER 42
MAX'S POV
Thank you Isabel.
Watching Liz contemplate what Isabel just said. Looking no less scared or confused as she did before.
Will there ever be another dominate emotion that rules her?
We were all scared and clueless but Liz has us.
We will teach and help her.
I never wanted this for her but she is going to be alright. She has to be.
Liz is just scared.
She has every right to be.
"Liz?" Trying once more.
What is going on in that head of yours? I wish you would just talk to me.
Liz's tightening her arms around herself. Shaking a little more.
I wonder if you feel the loss like I do?
The coldness.
Having felt a coolness go through me from the lost of her touch.
It felt so good to hold you.
It felt right.
Almost as if she never left.
I've missed you so much.
So much.
"Liz?" Trying once more.
Just let me hold you again.
Everything will be alright if you just let me hold you.
Liz looking up at me.
Seeing the fear and confusion clearly once more. Coming off of her in waves.
Damn.
Can she ever get a break?
Liz's eyes start to tear.
Hey, No.
"It's going to be OK." Taking a step forward.
Liz shaking her head no. Taking a step back.
"Liz's it's alright." Michael beside me.
Tears starting too make there way down her checks.
Resisting the urge to take her into my arms once more.
"Chicka just trust us. We are going to take care of you." Maria attempting to reach out to Liz. "I'm your best friend. I wouldn't lie to you. Trust me please."
Trust.
Fear and confusion radiating off of Liz.
Fear and confusion.
I can understand the confusion. Liz doesn't understand how she melted the door or even that she did it.
Fear.
"What are you scared of Liz?" Soft whisper.
Because it's not us.
You wouldn't engage with us as much as you are if you were. You wouldn't stay.
Liz biting her lower lip.
"Because I know it's not me. I felt you Liz. You felt safe in my arms. I know you did." Keeping my voice low.
Liz looking away from me.
Not me. Or us.
Them?
"Your safe with us. You know that right? I will never let anyone hurt you again."
I swear it.
Liz looking at the ground.
"Liz no one is following us." Michael.
"No one is looking for you Liz" Alex trying.
"Is that it? Your afraid they will find you again? That I won't be able to keep you safe?"
Seeing a flash of fear and guilt cross her face as she glance at me and the others.
Yes and no.
Feeling the hurt go through me.
But there is something more to this.
"It's more then just that. Isn't? Your more scared for everyone else." Whispering for her and Michael to hear.
Liz looking back up to me quickly.
"That's it isn't it."
That's it isn't. That's the problem.
It has nothing to do with trusting us. Having faith in us.
Trusting me.
"Maybe we should give Liz a little space guys." Isabel behind us.
"That's not the problem is it?" A little louder. Taking a step closer. "It's not trusting us." Giving Liz a small smile. "Or trusting me."
Liz is being Liz.
"Come on Kyle." Tess
"No wait a minute. What the hell are you talking about Max?" Kyle.
"Liz doesn't have a problem trusting us." Holding out my hand. "Do you Liz?" Softer.
Liz closing and opening her eyes slowly. Taking a deep breath in and out.
I felt you Liz. You felt safe and relief in my arms.
I know you did.
"What? I don't understand. Then what's wrong?" Maria stepping closer to Michael. "Are you scared they are going to find you? Because your safe Liz. They're not looking for you. We all made sure."
"It OK baby. I promise." Encouraging Liz once more.
Liz's starting to reach out her hand towards mine just to drawl it back and wrap it around herself again. "I'm sorry." Coming out a small cry. Taking a couple more steps back.
Taking a step closer to Liz. "Hey, It's alright. Liz, I promise you that it will be alright."
"I'm lost. What doesn't she trust? Us? Because I know Liz was cool with me and Tess." Kyle whispering. "Is it Max?"
"Liz trusts us. And Max. It's herself that she having a problem with." Michael realizing what is going on. "Damn it. Liz is more scared for us then she is for herself." Michael whispering back.
"You can't be serious! After everything she has been through." Kyle whispering.
"No? Think about it. It makes perfect sense. Liz can't control her powers. She's afraid she is going to somehow hurt us. That she will expose us." Michael smirking.
Not taking my eyes off of Liz as she watches the others.
"Man! Only Parker could go through everything she did and worry about us more then herself!" Kyle whispering.
Liz frowning.
"But that's good though right?" Tess whispering back.
"How is that good?" Maria hissing.
"That means some of the old Liz is back. Liz was the most self sacrificing person I know. That means she is making progress. That's something." Tess whispering.
Watching the Liz's face show a ray of emotions from fear to sadness to concern back to fear while she listened to the others conversation.
Do they really think that she does hear them?
"Hey." Giving her my best smile. "Tired of everyone talking about you yet?" Not taking my eyes off Liz. "You guys do realize that we can hear you right?" Speaking louder.
They aren't even ten feet away.
"You can?" Kyle squeaking out.
"Damn it. My bad Liz." Michael.
"Sorry chicka." Maria.
"It was nothing bad." Tess
"Were just going to give you two some space." Alex
"We are?" Kyle.
"Yeah we are." Tess.
Hearing the retreating footsteps.
"Liz?"
"I'm......" Liz shaking head.
"Your what Liz?" Taking her hand and holding it.
Don't pull away.
Please don't pull away.
Sending her all my love and confidence.
"I'm just so tired." Coming out weak.
"Yeah I guess so you haven't slept in a couple of days." With a slight laugh.
Liz shaking her head no.
I know babe.
"I know. I know." Pulling her into a hug. "I know it's a lot more then that. But you are doing an amazing job." Kissing the top of her head. "Your amazing."
"No."
"Yes."
"I can't do this Max." Liz whispering tearfully.
"All you have to do is trust me Liz. No one is asking for more then you can give."
Just trust me.
Don't give up on me.
On us.
Running my hands through her hair.
God I love this women.
"It's going to be Ok babe, I promise."
Feeling her pull back a little. "How can you say that?"
"Because it's true. As long as we are together Liz."
Feeling her stiffen.
"Liz?"
What did I say?
Liz pulling back more. Linking my fingers with Liz's so she couldn't pull all the way away.
Please don't go.
We have came so far.
"Please tell me what's wrong. Just talk to me."
There was a time I would like to think you would tell me anything.
"I just might be able to help." Giving her my best smile.
"I..." Liz taking another step back. "I'm sorry."
Tightening my grip on our joined fingers slightly.
Don't go.
"Liz? There is nothing for you to be sorry for."
"Max I can't. I'm sorry."
"Can't what?"
Liz slightly tugging on my hand. "Please." Tears once more making there way down her checks.
Feeling her pain and fear surface once more.
The green current once more playing havoc beneath her skin.
No.
How do I make you understand?
"Liz... I'm not going any where. I know this is hard and scary for you. That you need time. I'm not asking for more then you can give right now. All I'm asking from you to try not to pull away. I know it's a lot but have a little faith in me. I promise you that I will take care of you. I won't let you down again. I will help you. Let me help you."
"Max..." Liz biting her lower lip. "You didn't.. I can't..." Shaking her head.
"Liz. It's OK. You felt safe with me."
Warmth. Confusion. Coldness. Pounding and pressure in my head. Calm. Fear. Nauseated. Power. Doubt. Love. Overwhelming. Hearts beating in my ears and chest. Hope. Fear. Dry throat. Uncertainty. Strength. Tremors through my body. Love. Fear. Sensation of Liz and me flooding my senses at once.
As quickly as they came they was gone.
What the hell?
Liz?
Feeling unsteady.
"I can't" Feeling a burst of energy go through me as Liz pulls her hand out of mine.
Liz.
Hurt, fear and guilt mask her face.
"Liz?"
Liz shaking her head no once. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Running past me.
LIZ!
"LIZ!" Turning to follow.
MAX'S POV
Thank you Isabel.
Watching Liz contemplate what Isabel just said. Looking no less scared or confused as she did before.
Will there ever be another dominate emotion that rules her?
We were all scared and clueless but Liz has us.
We will teach and help her.
I never wanted this for her but she is going to be alright. She has to be.
Liz is just scared.
She has every right to be.
"Liz?" Trying once more.
What is going on in that head of yours? I wish you would just talk to me.
Liz's tightening her arms around herself. Shaking a little more.
I wonder if you feel the loss like I do?
The coldness.
Having felt a coolness go through me from the lost of her touch.
It felt so good to hold you.
It felt right.
Almost as if she never left.
I've missed you so much.
So much.
"Liz?" Trying once more.
Just let me hold you again.
Everything will be alright if you just let me hold you.
Liz looking up at me.
Seeing the fear and confusion clearly once more. Coming off of her in waves.
Damn.
Can she ever get a break?
Liz's eyes start to tear.
Hey, No.
"It's going to be OK." Taking a step forward.
Liz shaking her head no. Taking a step back.
"Liz's it's alright." Michael beside me.
Tears starting too make there way down her checks.
Resisting the urge to take her into my arms once more.
"Chicka just trust us. We are going to take care of you." Maria attempting to reach out to Liz. "I'm your best friend. I wouldn't lie to you. Trust me please."
Trust.
Fear and confusion radiating off of Liz.
Fear and confusion.
I can understand the confusion. Liz doesn't understand how she melted the door or even that she did it.
Fear.
"What are you scared of Liz?" Soft whisper.
Because it's not us.
You wouldn't engage with us as much as you are if you were. You wouldn't stay.
Liz biting her lower lip.
"Because I know it's not me. I felt you Liz. You felt safe in my arms. I know you did." Keeping my voice low.
Liz looking away from me.
Not me. Or us.
Them?
"Your safe with us. You know that right? I will never let anyone hurt you again."
I swear it.
Liz looking at the ground.
"Liz no one is following us." Michael.
"No one is looking for you Liz" Alex trying.
"Is that it? Your afraid they will find you again? That I won't be able to keep you safe?"
Seeing a flash of fear and guilt cross her face as she glance at me and the others.
Yes and no.
Feeling the hurt go through me.
But there is something more to this.
"It's more then just that. Isn't? Your more scared for everyone else." Whispering for her and Michael to hear.
Liz looking back up to me quickly.
"That's it isn't it."
That's it isn't. That's the problem.
It has nothing to do with trusting us. Having faith in us.
Trusting me.
"Maybe we should give Liz a little space guys." Isabel behind us.
"That's not the problem is it?" A little louder. Taking a step closer. "It's not trusting us." Giving Liz a small smile. "Or trusting me."
Liz is being Liz.
"Come on Kyle." Tess
"No wait a minute. What the hell are you talking about Max?" Kyle.
"Liz doesn't have a problem trusting us." Holding out my hand. "Do you Liz?" Softer.
Liz closing and opening her eyes slowly. Taking a deep breath in and out.
I felt you Liz. You felt safe and relief in my arms.
I know you did.
"What? I don't understand. Then what's wrong?" Maria stepping closer to Michael. "Are you scared they are going to find you? Because your safe Liz. They're not looking for you. We all made sure."
"It OK baby. I promise." Encouraging Liz once more.
Liz's starting to reach out her hand towards mine just to drawl it back and wrap it around herself again. "I'm sorry." Coming out a small cry. Taking a couple more steps back.
Taking a step closer to Liz. "Hey, It's alright. Liz, I promise you that it will be alright."
"I'm lost. What doesn't she trust? Us? Because I know Liz was cool with me and Tess." Kyle whispering. "Is it Max?"
"Liz trusts us. And Max. It's herself that she having a problem with." Michael realizing what is going on. "Damn it. Liz is more scared for us then she is for herself." Michael whispering back.
"You can't be serious! After everything she has been through." Kyle whispering.
"No? Think about it. It makes perfect sense. Liz can't control her powers. She's afraid she is going to somehow hurt us. That she will expose us." Michael smirking.
Not taking my eyes off of Liz as she watches the others.
"Man! Only Parker could go through everything she did and worry about us more then herself!" Kyle whispering.
Liz frowning.
"But that's good though right?" Tess whispering back.
"How is that good?" Maria hissing.
"That means some of the old Liz is back. Liz was the most self sacrificing person I know. That means she is making progress. That's something." Tess whispering.
Watching the Liz's face show a ray of emotions from fear to sadness to concern back to fear while she listened to the others conversation.
Do they really think that she does hear them?
"Hey." Giving her my best smile. "Tired of everyone talking about you yet?" Not taking my eyes off Liz. "You guys do realize that we can hear you right?" Speaking louder.
They aren't even ten feet away.
"You can?" Kyle squeaking out.
"Damn it. My bad Liz." Michael.
"Sorry chicka." Maria.
"It was nothing bad." Tess
"Were just going to give you two some space." Alex
"We are?" Kyle.
"Yeah we are." Tess.
Hearing the retreating footsteps.
"Liz?"
"I'm......" Liz shaking head.
"Your what Liz?" Taking her hand and holding it.
Don't pull away.
Please don't pull away.
Sending her all my love and confidence.
"I'm just so tired." Coming out weak.
"Yeah I guess so you haven't slept in a couple of days." With a slight laugh.
Liz shaking her head no.
I know babe.
"I know. I know." Pulling her into a hug. "I know it's a lot more then that. But you are doing an amazing job." Kissing the top of her head. "Your amazing."
"No."
"Yes."
"I can't do this Max." Liz whispering tearfully.
"All you have to do is trust me Liz. No one is asking for more then you can give."
Just trust me.
Don't give up on me.
On us.
Running my hands through her hair.
God I love this women.
"It's going to be Ok babe, I promise."
Feeling her pull back a little. "How can you say that?"
"Because it's true. As long as we are together Liz."
Feeling her stiffen.
"Liz?"
What did I say?
Liz pulling back more. Linking my fingers with Liz's so she couldn't pull all the way away.
Please don't go.
We have came so far.
"Please tell me what's wrong. Just talk to me."
There was a time I would like to think you would tell me anything.
"I just might be able to help." Giving her my best smile.
"I..." Liz taking another step back. "I'm sorry."
Tightening my grip on our joined fingers slightly.
Don't go.
"Liz? There is nothing for you to be sorry for."
"Max I can't. I'm sorry."
"Can't what?"
Liz slightly tugging on my hand. "Please." Tears once more making there way down her checks.
Feeling her pain and fear surface once more.
The green current once more playing havoc beneath her skin.
No.
How do I make you understand?
"Liz... I'm not going any where. I know this is hard and scary for you. That you need time. I'm not asking for more then you can give right now. All I'm asking from you to try not to pull away. I know it's a lot but have a little faith in me. I promise you that I will take care of you. I won't let you down again. I will help you. Let me help you."
"Max..." Liz biting her lower lip. "You didn't.. I can't..." Shaking her head.
"Liz. It's OK. You felt safe with me."
Warmth. Confusion. Coldness. Pounding and pressure in my head. Calm. Fear. Nauseated. Power. Doubt. Love. Overwhelming. Hearts beating in my ears and chest. Hope. Fear. Dry throat. Uncertainty. Strength. Tremors through my body. Love. Fear. Sensation of Liz and me flooding my senses at once.
As quickly as they came they was gone.
What the hell?
Liz?
Feeling unsteady.
"I can't" Feeling a burst of energy go through me as Liz pulls her hand out of mine.
Liz.
Hurt, fear and guilt mask her face.
"Liz?"
Liz shaking her head no once. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Running past me.
LIZ!
"LIZ!" Turning to follow.
Dig my grave,
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
- Twilighteyes
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 106
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: us
chapter 43
Because I'm truely a crappy writer, and I feel like crap. I'm not going to leave you with proper feedback and thank you's. I'm sorry..... Please forgive me. Had a crappy few weeks. Thank you everyone! Feedback truely means alot to me. More then you will ever know.... Thanks. O I'm telling you now, this part sucks and I don't have spell check.... the more I play, the worst it gets.... So I'm just going to give it to you..... Thanks again! Sorry!
CHAPTER 43
MICHAEL'S POV
"Max. MAX! CALM DOWN!"
Would you just stop a minute.
"Michael just get the hell out of my way and let me talk to Liz." Trying to side step me.
Positioning my self once more in front of him. "Max. Just give her a minute. She's not going anywhere. We are in the middle of no where." Making an effort to keep my voice low.
Where the hell does he think she will go?
It was just like being in Roswell except that it was all trees instead of desert. We were lucky that the gas station was even here. More lucky that it was even open at this late hour.
Then again it looked like the old man lived here. Probable made his living off of unlucky strangers that got lost off the beaten path.
That's why we paid a furtune for the gas!
The way Alex talked we had another five or six hours to go till we are at the ranch of Alec's friend Jessie. That was suppose to hook us up with with some horses and gear he left in his care.
"I need to talk to her Michael before she totally shuts down. I was reaching her." Trying to side step me once more.
From the look and feelings or should I say lack of. Liz has already shut down.
Then again if anyone could get through to Liz it would be Max. I hope anyways.
Just not in the condition he was in now.
Does he even feel his hand?
The blistering flesh on his palm making my stomach turn.
Moving in front of him again. "Max. I know. I know." Holding my hands up. "But we both know that your not going to get anywhere with her right now. Just give her time."
"DAMN IT MICHAEL!" Max grabbing a hold of my shirt. Shaking me a little. "QUIT TRYING TO PROTECT HER FROM ME! I'M NOT GOING TO HURT HER!" Pushing me.
He wants to hit me.
What the hell!?
I think he could really hit me.
"Max. MAX!" Getting right in his face. "DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GO HERE? DO YOU!"
I know he cares and worried about Liz... but this?
Going to turn on me?
He should be lucky I'm not hitting him right now!
"MICHAEL!" Max grounding out between his teeth. Not backing down.
Liz.
"Do you really think this what Liz needs right now?" Hissing through clench teeth. Lowering my voice once more.
Liz the only thing that ever gets through to him.
Seeing the burning hatred in Max's eyes as he stared at me.
"Really? Think about it? Is this what Liz needs? Does she need you? THIS! Right now?" Keeping my voice low still.
Liz doesn't need to hear this and know what is going on.
Maybe I should hit him. Knock some sense into him!
"She felt safe in my arms." Max muttering weakly. Taking a step back. Defeat in his face.
"That might be but she is also running from you right now."
Seeing the flash of pain in Max's face.
Ouch. Maybe that was below the belt.
But you need to see that.
"I need to talk to her." Max looking past me.
Could practicely see Max caculating the best way to talk to Liz.
Your moving to fast again.
"To say what? What can you possible say right now that you think would get through to her? What? That you love her? Need her? Can't live without her? You really think that is what she needs to hear right now? What? That you will be here for her? Help her? Hold her? That everything is going to be alright? That everything is alright? What exactly? Liz has heard it all. We been through this before. Hell this is all we have been through. We reach her and she runs. And unless she is willing to stay and fight at the moment. You nor I won't get through to her."
"I know. Don't you think I know?" Max looking at the ground.
"So how far are you going to chase her? Keep pushing her when she isn't ready Max and you just might lose her for good."
We might lose her for good.
Just stop and think about it. THINK!
"It's not a chance I'm willing to take. Are you?"
Max studying me a moment. "No." Sighing. " I know. I know. Don't you think I know all this."
Then act like it!
"All I'm saying is take a minute Max. Liz justs needs a minute. She is not going anywhere."
Where the hell would she go?
Far far away from us if she could.
Thought hitting me like a ton of bricks.
Damn.
Would Liz?
If she thought it would keep us safe.
I'm going to have to sit her down and talk to her about this.
What the hell am I really going to say to her?
Hey we're safe. Don't worry about it. That we would be in danger with or without you?
Yeah, that's going to go over well.....
Liz's being so damn self sacrificing!
It's going to be a problem.
I should have realized it earlier. It's how I would feel.
Protect everyone else first.
Hell, that's all Liz has been doing since she found out about us.
Why would I think it would change now?
The question is. Will I be able to change her mind?
"I was getting through to her, Michael. I was reaching her." Max trying once more.
We all need some sleep.
"I know."
But that's not stopping her from running now.
"DAMN IT!" Max running his hands through his hair.
"Doesn't that hurt Max?"
"What?"
Pointing to his raw hand.
"Oh?" Max looking at his hand. Shaking his head no. I didn't even realize....."
How can it not?
"Does Liz know what she did?"
"No."
"Before we do anything you need to take care of that. You think Liz is running now. If she knows she did this then we will never get her back. Liz won't you get anywhere near her."
She would be on the first bus to anywhere!
Max concentrating on his hand.
Watching the skin heal once more.
"Um guys." Maria coming up and standing beside me.
The nervousness rolling off of her in waves.
What now?
"What's wrong?" Turning her face so she was looking at me.
"Nothing really." Maria giving a nervous chuckle. "Liz just wants to ride with Alex and Kyle for a awhile." Maria glancing at Max back to me.
Damn it.
I guess she can run a little.
Looking up to see Max's reaction.
Watching his face pale slightly. "What?" Manages to choke out.
Not good.
"She asked if she could ride with them....... Wants to get caught up." Maria looking at Max hesitantly.
More like wants to get away from Max for a awhile.
"Then I will ride with Kyle and Alex. Tess and Iz can ride with you and Michael for awhile." Max mending.
I don't think that is what Liz had in mind.
"Um Max." Maria looking at me briefly for help. "Liz asked Isabel to ride with you for a while." Softer.
So not good.
"No." Max shaking his head no in disbelief.
"Max. It's not that big of deal."
It's not really.
Except by Max's stand point.
"What's the worst that can happen? Alex said it won't be long now." Maria
"No." Max stating firmly now.
"Max it's not that big of deal." Maria trying again. "Liz will be OK. It's just one car away."
It will be if he has anything to do with it.
"No. I won't allow it." Max crossing his arms.
What is he two?
Maria tensing beside me.
So not good.
"You won't allow it?!" Seeing the fiery in Maria's eyes. "You won't allow it? Who the hell do you think you are Max. King? Well I have news for you Mr. Evans. You are not King." Pointing her finger at Max. "You are far from it. You do not have a say in where Liz rides or what she wants to do. We are her friends too, Max. We love her too. We missed her too. You don't own her Max. This is not just about you!"
Now you done it.
"Maria." Max trying.
"No. I think Liz is more than capable to choose who and where she wants to ride."
"I know Maria."
"I can't believe you. She is not a prisoner here. Liz can choose what she wants."
"Maria I know. I know. I.... I just......." Max looking away from us.
"You just what Max?" Maria tapping her foot lightly.
She's not going to let you off the hook that easy.
"I miss her." Max whispering.
"Don't we all." Maria softening her irratated tone.
Max nodding not looking back at us. "I know. I'm sorry." Making his way back to the others.
I feel for you Max I do. I don't know what I would do if it were Maria.
Be just as lost as you.
"What happen? I thought those two were finally getting close. That Liz was letting him in."
That might have been the problem.
"Not sure.."
"What aren't you telling me?" Maria studying me.
"Nothing."
"Michael."
"I just get the feeling that Liz is going to do something stupid so she doesn't put us in danger."
"Danger? What?" Watching the look of confusion turn to realization. "Uge! You have got to be kidded me. Only Liz. If Liz hadn't been through what she has been through I would hit her to knock some sense into her!"
Feeling the smile spread across my face.
That's my girl.
Pulling Maria into my arms.
"God, I love you women."
Smiling back at me. "You better space..."
Cutting her words off with a kiss.
It's going to be OK. It has to be.
Losing myself for a moment in all there was of Maria.
CHAPTER 43
MICHAEL'S POV
"Max. MAX! CALM DOWN!"
Would you just stop a minute.
"Michael just get the hell out of my way and let me talk to Liz." Trying to side step me.
Positioning my self once more in front of him. "Max. Just give her a minute. She's not going anywhere. We are in the middle of no where." Making an effort to keep my voice low.
Where the hell does he think she will go?
It was just like being in Roswell except that it was all trees instead of desert. We were lucky that the gas station was even here. More lucky that it was even open at this late hour.
Then again it looked like the old man lived here. Probable made his living off of unlucky strangers that got lost off the beaten path.
That's why we paid a furtune for the gas!
The way Alex talked we had another five or six hours to go till we are at the ranch of Alec's friend Jessie. That was suppose to hook us up with with some horses and gear he left in his care.
"I need to talk to her Michael before she totally shuts down. I was reaching her." Trying to side step me once more.
From the look and feelings or should I say lack of. Liz has already shut down.
Then again if anyone could get through to Liz it would be Max. I hope anyways.
Just not in the condition he was in now.
Does he even feel his hand?
The blistering flesh on his palm making my stomach turn.
Moving in front of him again. "Max. I know. I know." Holding my hands up. "But we both know that your not going to get anywhere with her right now. Just give her time."
"DAMN IT MICHAEL!" Max grabbing a hold of my shirt. Shaking me a little. "QUIT TRYING TO PROTECT HER FROM ME! I'M NOT GOING TO HURT HER!" Pushing me.
He wants to hit me.
What the hell!?
I think he could really hit me.
"Max. MAX!" Getting right in his face. "DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GO HERE? DO YOU!"
I know he cares and worried about Liz... but this?
Going to turn on me?
He should be lucky I'm not hitting him right now!
"MICHAEL!" Max grounding out between his teeth. Not backing down.
Liz.
"Do you really think this what Liz needs right now?" Hissing through clench teeth. Lowering my voice once more.
Liz the only thing that ever gets through to him.
Seeing the burning hatred in Max's eyes as he stared at me.
"Really? Think about it? Is this what Liz needs? Does she need you? THIS! Right now?" Keeping my voice low still.
Liz doesn't need to hear this and know what is going on.
Maybe I should hit him. Knock some sense into him!
"She felt safe in my arms." Max muttering weakly. Taking a step back. Defeat in his face.
"That might be but she is also running from you right now."
Seeing the flash of pain in Max's face.
Ouch. Maybe that was below the belt.
But you need to see that.
"I need to talk to her." Max looking past me.
Could practicely see Max caculating the best way to talk to Liz.
Your moving to fast again.
"To say what? What can you possible say right now that you think would get through to her? What? That you love her? Need her? Can't live without her? You really think that is what she needs to hear right now? What? That you will be here for her? Help her? Hold her? That everything is going to be alright? That everything is alright? What exactly? Liz has heard it all. We been through this before. Hell this is all we have been through. We reach her and she runs. And unless she is willing to stay and fight at the moment. You nor I won't get through to her."
"I know. Don't you think I know?" Max looking at the ground.
"So how far are you going to chase her? Keep pushing her when she isn't ready Max and you just might lose her for good."
We might lose her for good.
Just stop and think about it. THINK!
"It's not a chance I'm willing to take. Are you?"
Max studying me a moment. "No." Sighing. " I know. I know. Don't you think I know all this."
Then act like it!
"All I'm saying is take a minute Max. Liz justs needs a minute. She is not going anywhere."
Where the hell would she go?
Far far away from us if she could.
Thought hitting me like a ton of bricks.
Damn.
Would Liz?
If she thought it would keep us safe.
I'm going to have to sit her down and talk to her about this.
What the hell am I really going to say to her?
Hey we're safe. Don't worry about it. That we would be in danger with or without you?
Yeah, that's going to go over well.....
Liz's being so damn self sacrificing!
It's going to be a problem.
I should have realized it earlier. It's how I would feel.
Protect everyone else first.
Hell, that's all Liz has been doing since she found out about us.
Why would I think it would change now?
The question is. Will I be able to change her mind?
"I was getting through to her, Michael. I was reaching her." Max trying once more.
We all need some sleep.
"I know."
But that's not stopping her from running now.
"DAMN IT!" Max running his hands through his hair.
"Doesn't that hurt Max?"
"What?"
Pointing to his raw hand.
"Oh?" Max looking at his hand. Shaking his head no. I didn't even realize....."
How can it not?
"Does Liz know what she did?"
"No."
"Before we do anything you need to take care of that. You think Liz is running now. If she knows she did this then we will never get her back. Liz won't you get anywhere near her."
She would be on the first bus to anywhere!
Max concentrating on his hand.
Watching the skin heal once more.
"Um guys." Maria coming up and standing beside me.
The nervousness rolling off of her in waves.
What now?
"What's wrong?" Turning her face so she was looking at me.
"Nothing really." Maria giving a nervous chuckle. "Liz just wants to ride with Alex and Kyle for a awhile." Maria glancing at Max back to me.
Damn it.
I guess she can run a little.
Looking up to see Max's reaction.
Watching his face pale slightly. "What?" Manages to choke out.
Not good.
"She asked if she could ride with them....... Wants to get caught up." Maria looking at Max hesitantly.
More like wants to get away from Max for a awhile.
"Then I will ride with Kyle and Alex. Tess and Iz can ride with you and Michael for awhile." Max mending.
I don't think that is what Liz had in mind.
"Um Max." Maria looking at me briefly for help. "Liz asked Isabel to ride with you for a while." Softer.
So not good.
"No." Max shaking his head no in disbelief.
"Max. It's not that big of deal."
It's not really.
Except by Max's stand point.
"What's the worst that can happen? Alex said it won't be long now." Maria
"No." Max stating firmly now.
"Max it's not that big of deal." Maria trying again. "Liz will be OK. It's just one car away."
It will be if he has anything to do with it.
"No. I won't allow it." Max crossing his arms.
What is he two?
Maria tensing beside me.
So not good.
"You won't allow it?!" Seeing the fiery in Maria's eyes. "You won't allow it? Who the hell do you think you are Max. King? Well I have news for you Mr. Evans. You are not King." Pointing her finger at Max. "You are far from it. You do not have a say in where Liz rides or what she wants to do. We are her friends too, Max. We love her too. We missed her too. You don't own her Max. This is not just about you!"
Now you done it.
"Maria." Max trying.
"No. I think Liz is more than capable to choose who and where she wants to ride."
"I know Maria."
"I can't believe you. She is not a prisoner here. Liz can choose what she wants."
"Maria I know. I know. I.... I just......." Max looking away from us.
"You just what Max?" Maria tapping her foot lightly.
She's not going to let you off the hook that easy.
"I miss her." Max whispering.
"Don't we all." Maria softening her irratated tone.
Max nodding not looking back at us. "I know. I'm sorry." Making his way back to the others.
I feel for you Max I do. I don't know what I would do if it were Maria.
Be just as lost as you.
"What happen? I thought those two were finally getting close. That Liz was letting him in."
That might have been the problem.
"Not sure.."
"What aren't you telling me?" Maria studying me.
"Nothing."
"Michael."
"I just get the feeling that Liz is going to do something stupid so she doesn't put us in danger."
"Danger? What?" Watching the look of confusion turn to realization. "Uge! You have got to be kidded me. Only Liz. If Liz hadn't been through what she has been through I would hit her to knock some sense into her!"
Feeling the smile spread across my face.
That's my girl.
Pulling Maria into my arms.
"God, I love you women."
Smiling back at me. "You better space..."
Cutting her words off with a kiss.
It's going to be OK. It has to be.
Losing myself for a moment in all there was of Maria.
Dig my grave,
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
- Twilighteyes
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 106
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: us
CHAPTER 44
CHAPTER 44
LIZ'S POV
Every breath sent another current of pain through my body. Lightening up every nerve as if they were on fire.
Max.....
It felt so good to be in his arms.
In that moment I felt so safe.
So much love wrapped around me.
I was whole.
So easy.
Not a broken mess.
Not like now.
The hurt in Max's eyes as I pulled away flashing once more through my mind.
NO!
Tightening myself into a tighter ball on the seat.
The constant pounding in my head becoming worst.
Please...
I had to go.
I had to.
It wasn't safe.
It isn't fair.
Please.
Please.
If I could just take it all and lock it away.
So deep that it could never touch me again.
Just forget.
So I could be safe.
So I could be with him.
Is that what I did before?
Lock it all away?
Because I couldn't survive knowing what happened....
Feeling a shutter rack through my body.
If I could just disappear.
Max's pain tear through me once more.
I'm sorry Max.
I'm sorry.
Stifling the sob that threaten to consume me.
You deserve so much more.
Not this.
Not me.
I can't do this.
Why do I have to do this?
"No Max. She's going to be OK." Tess muffled whispered coming from the front of the SUV. "Max. Max no. Just give her a chance." Pause. "Don't you think I know? I know she's hurting. I would have to be an idiot not to notice." Pause. "I got her Max. I won't let anything happen to her."
Squeezing my eyes tighter shut.
Just stop.
Please stop.
I can't do this.
"Max." Tess
I have to do this.
Please let me do this.
"Take a breath Liz. Please take a breath." Alex whispering from beside me.
So easy just to go back into his arms.
Just let everything else go....
All this fear.
Pain.
Doubt.
Responsibility.
Max would take me, broken empty mess and all.
Just a shell of what I used to be.
Not even a fraction of what Liz Parker was.
Let them deal with everything.
Let them worrying about everything.
Let them do everything.
"MAX!" Tess hissing. "I think I can handle her powers. I'm the one that taught you after all. I got to go. I will call you if we need you." Hearing what had to be Tess snapping her cell shut. "Like that will happen." Tess muttering.
"So, Max not taking this well." Kyle laughing.
"What do you think?" Tess sarcastically.
No.
It's not safe.
I'm not safe.
"I'm surprised Max let her go in the first place." Kyle whispering.
"Like he had a choice." Tess whispering back.
Please.
"Lizzy please." Alex pleading.
"Tess, is this a good idea?" Kyle whispering.
"Please Liz. Your turning blue. Your scaring me." Alex pleading once more. "LIZ!" Yelling.
Jumping.
Opening my eyes.
Seeing Alex scared face staring closely at me. "Liz? Are you with me?"
Alex.
Alex reaching out to touch me.
NO!
Pulling myself back up against the door simultaneously taken in a painful breath. Flinching more as the dim light that was on above me shattered casting the SUV into darkness.
DON'T!
"SHIT!" Kyle.
Feeling the SUV swerve.
"FOR BUDDHA SAKE ALEX DON'T TOUCH HER!" Kyle.
"It's alright." Tess
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry Liz. I'm sorry. Your OK. No one is going to hurt you." Alex whispering comforting.
Dim lights coming on once more.
"She fine Max. We're fine. Kyle just needs a driving lessen. Stop calling." Tess. Hearing the cell slam shut once more.
Tightening my arms around my legs. Pulling them more tightly to my chest. Easing the pain slightly.
"Liz? Honey." Seeing Kyle glance at me from through the rearview window.
Tess turning to look at me from the passenger seat. "You're alright." Coming out as a statement.
I'm never going to be alright again.
How did I end up like this?
Head pounding more.
I can't do this.
Taking another painful breath in.
Everything is too hard.
It hurts so much.
"That's it Liz. Just breath. All you have to do is breath. Nothing more. OK?" Alex voice washing over me once more.
Breath.
Right.
Taking another painful breath in and letting it out. Laying my head on my knees facing Alex.
If it was only that easy...
Curling myself tighter into a ball.
If that was all that was required of me.
When did life get so hard?
What happen to just deciding what I was going to wear to school?
"That's it.... Your doing great." Alex patting his leg. "Here Liz. Lie down and rest for awhile. It's going to be a few more hours before we get there." Patting his leg once more. Talking softly to me. "Come on it will be just like old times. Just you and me. You don't have to sleep. Just relax for awhile. Come on I got you." Holding his hand out to me.
Alex
"It really is OK Liz. I'm not going to let anything or anyone hurt you. Trust me." Alex's eyes pleading with me. "Me and you remember? Trusting each other with our lives."
Sweet Alex.
How can you keep me safe from myself?
How can I keep you safe?
From what is in my head?
Is it always going to be like this?
Is this my only choices?
Numbness or overwhelming emotions?
Pain?
Fear?
The constant pounding in my head?
The constant doubt?
Darkness starting to creep around the edges of my consciousness.
How am I suppose to do this?
It's to much.
It's all to much.
I'm so tired.
Alec.
Max.
"Take a breath Liz. Take a breath." Alex repeating the words once more.
Darkness closing in more.
Just a shell of what I was.
I can't do this.
"I think you should call Max." Kyle whispering. "Max and Michael are the only one that seem to be able to reach her."
No.
Taking another painful breath in. Pushing back the darkness slightly.
I have to do this.
I never should have let Max hold me.
Then it wouldn't hurt so much now.
I wouldn't know what I am missing.
What it feels like.
"We need to give her a chance. That is what she wants. She needs to know that she can do this." Tess
Tess is right.
I need to do this.
Right?
"Tess...." Kyle voice full of doubt.
I have to do this.
"No. Give her a chance." Tess insisting.
A chance....
A chance to breath.
Everything will be alright once I get there right?
Once Alec is there?
Right?
I will be able to control myself right?
After Michael teaches me....
Right?
After Alec tells me....
Max?
Everyone will be safe right?
I'm just so tired.
I'm doing the right thing right?
Right?
Letting the darkness take me.
Sorry it sucks....
LIZ'S POV
Every breath sent another current of pain through my body. Lightening up every nerve as if they were on fire.
Max.....
It felt so good to be in his arms.
In that moment I felt so safe.
So much love wrapped around me.
I was whole.
So easy.
Not a broken mess.
Not like now.
The hurt in Max's eyes as I pulled away flashing once more through my mind.
NO!
Tightening myself into a tighter ball on the seat.
The constant pounding in my head becoming worst.
Please...
I had to go.
I had to.
It wasn't safe.
It isn't fair.
Please.
Please.
If I could just take it all and lock it away.
So deep that it could never touch me again.
Just forget.
So I could be safe.
So I could be with him.
Is that what I did before?
Lock it all away?
Because I couldn't survive knowing what happened....
Feeling a shutter rack through my body.
If I could just disappear.
Max's pain tear through me once more.
I'm sorry Max.
I'm sorry.
Stifling the sob that threaten to consume me.
You deserve so much more.
Not this.
Not me.
I can't do this.
Why do I have to do this?
"No Max. She's going to be OK." Tess muffled whispered coming from the front of the SUV. "Max. Max no. Just give her a chance." Pause. "Don't you think I know? I know she's hurting. I would have to be an idiot not to notice." Pause. "I got her Max. I won't let anything happen to her."
Squeezing my eyes tighter shut.
Just stop.
Please stop.
I can't do this.
"Max." Tess
I have to do this.
Please let me do this.
"Take a breath Liz. Please take a breath." Alex whispering from beside me.
So easy just to go back into his arms.
Just let everything else go....
All this fear.
Pain.
Doubt.
Responsibility.
Max would take me, broken empty mess and all.
Just a shell of what I used to be.
Not even a fraction of what Liz Parker was.
Let them deal with everything.
Let them worrying about everything.
Let them do everything.
"MAX!" Tess hissing. "I think I can handle her powers. I'm the one that taught you after all. I got to go. I will call you if we need you." Hearing what had to be Tess snapping her cell shut. "Like that will happen." Tess muttering.
"So, Max not taking this well." Kyle laughing.
"What do you think?" Tess sarcastically.
No.
It's not safe.
I'm not safe.
"I'm surprised Max let her go in the first place." Kyle whispering.
"Like he had a choice." Tess whispering back.
Please.
"Lizzy please." Alex pleading.
"Tess, is this a good idea?" Kyle whispering.
"Please Liz. Your turning blue. Your scaring me." Alex pleading once more. "LIZ!" Yelling.
Jumping.
Opening my eyes.
Seeing Alex scared face staring closely at me. "Liz? Are you with me?"
Alex.
Alex reaching out to touch me.
NO!
Pulling myself back up against the door simultaneously taken in a painful breath. Flinching more as the dim light that was on above me shattered casting the SUV into darkness.
DON'T!
"SHIT!" Kyle.
Feeling the SUV swerve.
"FOR BUDDHA SAKE ALEX DON'T TOUCH HER!" Kyle.
"It's alright." Tess
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry Liz. I'm sorry. Your OK. No one is going to hurt you." Alex whispering comforting.
Dim lights coming on once more.
"She fine Max. We're fine. Kyle just needs a driving lessen. Stop calling." Tess. Hearing the cell slam shut once more.
Tightening my arms around my legs. Pulling them more tightly to my chest. Easing the pain slightly.
"Liz? Honey." Seeing Kyle glance at me from through the rearview window.
Tess turning to look at me from the passenger seat. "You're alright." Coming out as a statement.
I'm never going to be alright again.
How did I end up like this?
Head pounding more.
I can't do this.
Taking another painful breath in.
Everything is too hard.
It hurts so much.
"That's it Liz. Just breath. All you have to do is breath. Nothing more. OK?" Alex voice washing over me once more.
Breath.
Right.
Taking another painful breath in and letting it out. Laying my head on my knees facing Alex.
If it was only that easy...
Curling myself tighter into a ball.
If that was all that was required of me.
When did life get so hard?
What happen to just deciding what I was going to wear to school?
"That's it.... Your doing great." Alex patting his leg. "Here Liz. Lie down and rest for awhile. It's going to be a few more hours before we get there." Patting his leg once more. Talking softly to me. "Come on it will be just like old times. Just you and me. You don't have to sleep. Just relax for awhile. Come on I got you." Holding his hand out to me.
Alex
"It really is OK Liz. I'm not going to let anything or anyone hurt you. Trust me." Alex's eyes pleading with me. "Me and you remember? Trusting each other with our lives."
Sweet Alex.
How can you keep me safe from myself?
How can I keep you safe?
From what is in my head?
Is it always going to be like this?
Is this my only choices?
Numbness or overwhelming emotions?
Pain?
Fear?
The constant pounding in my head?
The constant doubt?
Darkness starting to creep around the edges of my consciousness.
How am I suppose to do this?
It's to much.
It's all to much.
I'm so tired.
Alec.
Max.
"Take a breath Liz. Take a breath." Alex repeating the words once more.
Darkness closing in more.
Just a shell of what I was.
I can't do this.
"I think you should call Max." Kyle whispering. "Max and Michael are the only one that seem to be able to reach her."
No.
Taking another painful breath in. Pushing back the darkness slightly.
I have to do this.
I never should have let Max hold me.
Then it wouldn't hurt so much now.
I wouldn't know what I am missing.
What it feels like.
"We need to give her a chance. That is what she wants. She needs to know that she can do this." Tess
Tess is right.
I need to do this.
Right?
"Tess...." Kyle voice full of doubt.
I have to do this.
"No. Give her a chance." Tess insisting.
A chance....
A chance to breath.
Everything will be alright once I get there right?
Once Alec is there?
Right?
I will be able to control myself right?
After Michael teaches me....
Right?
After Alec tells me....
Max?
Everyone will be safe right?
I'm just so tired.
I'm doing the right thing right?
Right?
Letting the darkness take me.
Sorry it sucks....
Dig my grave,
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
- Twilighteyes
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 106
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: us
CH 43 A
CHAPTER 45 A
MICHAEL'S POV
"OK. OK." Max pausing. "I know. I just can't shake this feeling. Something not right." Max making eye contact with me through the mirror.
I know Max.
Calling every two minute isn't going to solved it though.
"No your right Tess. Liz needs her sleep. OK." Max paused. "OK. OK." Max snapping the cell shut.
"She's still sleeping?" Isabel asking quietly beside Max.
"Yeah." Max muttering.
Maria turning in her seat to face Max. "This is good Max. She hasn't slept in days. Liz needs her rest."
"Yeah..." Max muttering again.
Maria turning back in her seat sighing.
Taking her hand and kissing it before releasing it once more to place it back on the steering wheel.
From the corner of my eye I see Maria smile at me.
I love you so much.
"You should try to get some sleep. I think we have a little more then three hours before we get there."
If we are even on the right barely there dirt road.
Who in their right mind would want to live out here?
In the middle of middle, of no where no mans land.
That's right.
A paranoid government man who wants a place to disappear if need be.
But that's good right?
We needed out in the middle of no where.
Where no one can find us. Ever.
A place where Liz can breath.
"Max you should try to get some sleep too." Maria sinking in her seat slightly. Getting more comfortable.
Like that's going to happen.
Glancing at Max once more in the mirror.
How is she?
Max reading my thoughts clearly. Shaking his head no.
For the last two hours that Liz has been asleep, we both have been getting brief twinges of fear, pain, and loneliness coming through our once again open connection.
Max being closer to Liz then me, I can't imagine what he is actually feeling.
Focusing on the road once more.
Which is not helping Max right now at all.
I hope things get easier once we get there.
I pray things get easier.
Glancing at Max worried expression quickly before focusing on the road and the SUV in front of us once more.
For all of us.
Now if we can get there without anymore incidence.
"MICHAEL!" Max screaming.
The same time I feel a sharp pain rip through me.
Everything seems to go into slow motion, as the windows and wheels explode out in the SUV in front of us as if a bomb had hit it. Watching it swerve into the ditch.
"OH MY GOD!" Maria yelling.
"MICHAEL!" Max screaming once more. "LIZ!"
Both yelling at the same time as I slam on the breaks.
Max is out the jeep even came to a full screeching stop.
"Michael?" Maria's voice full of fear.
"What's happening?" Isabel
"WHAT THE HELL!?"
All three of us saying at the same time.
Pain racking through me once more taking my breath away.
Liz's pained inhuman screams filling the air as all four doors fly opens in the SUV. Liz basically rolling and falling out of the SUV before Max could reach her.
Breaking me out of my stupor.
"LIZ!" Getting out as fast as I can. Feeling as if I was walking in quick sand and my feet were made of lead.
Vaguely aware of Alex, Kyle and Tess stumbling out of the SUV too moments later.
"Liz. LIZ BABY." Max advancing on Liz as she back paddles away from us.
Liz letting out a blood curdling scream once more.
The pain jabbed once more through my chest as I stepped up to Max who was still trying to advance on Liz's fast retreating form.
"LIZ!" Maria
"What happened?" Isabel
"I don't know. She just woke up screaming and all hell broke loose." Alex
"Somebody do something!" Kyle
"Is everyone else alright?" Isabel
Barely hearing the others behind me under Liz's screams.
"LIZ! PLEASE STOP! LET ME HELP YOU! LIZ!" Max yelling over Liz's screams.
Tears flowing from Liz's eyes as she started to claw at her arms and neck. Pulling at her clothes and hair. Wildly screaming the whole time. Seemly totally unaware of anything else around her.
"Liz?" Max stopping his advancement.
What the hell?
"DO SOMETHING!" Maria screaming beside me. Feeling her hand on my shoulder. "Oh god Liz."
What?
"Liz? LIZ!" Max moving first. Trying to take Liz into his arms once more.
Liz screaming louder if that was even possible as soon as Max was able to make contact with her. Her skin lights up with the strange green current.
No.
Stopping my advance.
"Max." Pulling on his arm.
I don't think this is helping.
Liz screaming more as she claws and kicks her legs. Trying to escape.
What the hell is going on?
She is going to hurt herself.
"She hurting herself." Maria crying reading my thoughts.
"Liz. LIZ!" Max grabbing a hold of Liz's wrist. "IT'S ALRIGHT! YOUR ALRIGHT!"
Liz screaming louder once more as she starts to fight Max.
I don't think she even realizes that it's Max.
"Liz." Maria crying. "PLEASE!"
"What is happening?" Kyle
"MY GOD!" Isabel
"What's happening to her?" Maria
"Lizzy?" Alex
This isn't helping.
"SHHHHH... I GOT YOU! I GOT YOU BABY!" Max trying to get through to Liz.
"Just back up and give her some room." Not taking my eyes off of Liz and Max. "Max?"
Liz fighting, crying and screaming more as she battles against Max and some unseen force.
"MAX!"
What am I suppose to do?
Kneeling beside Max and Liz.
Should I make him release her?
Should I help hold her down?
"IT'S OK! IT'S OK!" Max pulling Liz's struggling body against his chest. "Shhhhh... STOP!" Not letting go of Liz's wrist as he some how manages to turn Liz around while wrapping his arms around her. Pulling Liz back to his chest. Lowering his voice. "Liz baby. Your safe. Your safe. No one is going to hurt you. Shhhhhh..." Max holding her tightly. "Stop. Just stop. Your safe baby. Your safe. I got you. I got you. Your going to be Ok. Your safe. Liz. Your safe baby. Shhhh..... Just stop." Repeating the words over and over again in her ear. "Your safe. Your safe now. It's over. It's all over now. Your safe."
Liz?
Max?
I've never felt so useless in my entire life.
Feeling waves after waves of pain and fear go through me.
Standing up and taking a few steps back away from the two.
"Shhhh baby. Shhh. I got you. I have you. Your safe baby. It's over now. Liz's your safe. No one is ever going to hurt you again." Max lowering his voice a little more. "Shhh. Your alright."
Liz suddenly stops struggling against Max as if all her energy was suddenly drained. Liz's screams turning into broken sobs.
Liz's eyes full of wild pain and fear.
What else?
Just like the night we found you.
Defeat.
Her eyes show defeat.
She's given up.
Feeling a lump form in my throat from the thought.
"Shhhh. I got you baby. I got you. Your OK. Your Ok.... Your doing so good baby. Your doing so good. I love you Liz. I love you. Your OK. Your OK. I got you baby. I got you." Max talking softer to Liz. "It's OK. It's all going to be OK."
Watching as Liz's tiny body convulse in tears.
What the hell happen?
"Shhh... I got you. That's it. Your doing good. Shhhh... Baby. You're OK. OK." Max now whispering softly to Liz.
"Max?" Whispering softly.
You have her?
Max nodding his head not looking up at me. "Your safe Liz. Your safe now. I got you baby. I have you. Shhhh......."
Liz quieting a little more.
Turning to look at the others standing back arms wrapped around each others. All having the same fear shocked look's on their faces.
It's that first night all over again.
All that progress.
Gone.
Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
Feeling my cell vibrate in my pocket.
Who the hell?
What now?
"Everyone OK?" Taking out my cell. Taking a few more steps away from Max and Liz.
"Yeah." Alex
Everyone else just nodding. Not taking their eyes off of Max and Liz.
Cell vibrating once more.
What now?
980-555-1769
Who the hell? No one but the sheriff has this number.
"Hello?"
"IS ELIZABETH ALRIGHT? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" Alec's voice screaming in my ear.
Alec
"Alec?"
"Yeah. What's going on? Is Elizabeth alright Michael? I haven't felt her screaming in my head since..." Voice trailing off. "Well you know when. Is Elizabeth alright?"
DAMN!
Looking back at Max and Liz. Watching as Liz's bends forward and dry heaves. Max having one arm around her waist and holding her hair back with the other.
DAMN IT!
Please tell me she doesn't remember?
Not now. Please not now.
Not ever.
"MICHAEL!"
"Yeah, yeah we got her." Murmuring.
Noting that the strange green current was gone now.
That's good at least.
Right?
"What the hell happened? Michael I heard Elizabeth screaming my name again." Alec sounding out of breath. "It was like getting hit over the head with a ton of bricks."
Tell me about it.
Damn. Damn it.
This is not good. Not good at all.
What if she remembers everything now?
Liz could barely handle what little she did remember before.
But that was a problem too wasn't it?
She was lost by what she couldn't remember at all.
Maybe this is good.
Maybe now Liz will be able to deal with everything and move on.
I just never wanted her to remember.
Some things were better left forgotten.
How do we help you get over this?
Over everything that they did?
"Michael I swear to god if you don't start talking I'm going to kick your alien ass to the moon when I get there." Alec breaking through my thoughts.
Damn it.
"Liz had a nightmare."
That's the least of what could have happened.
How do I make this right?
DAMN!
"So Elizabeth is alright" Alec
Alright?
Screams taking over Liz as she started to try to claw at herself again.
Fear and pain slamming into me full force once more.
I wouldn't exactly call her that.
Liz.
How am I suppose to make this better?
"MICHAEL!" Alec screaming in my ear.
"We got her Alec."
Well Max has her.
"What the hell does that mean? It doesn't sound like you have her at all." Alec
"Shhhh. Stop baby stop." Max holding her hands closed. As he pulled her once more against his chest still holding her hands. "Shhh... It's going to be OK. Shhh... Baby. stop. Just stop."
It means we have no clue what we are even doing.
Is our best going to be enough?
Liz's screams turning into broken hoarse sobs once more.
"Michael? Would you just give me a straight freaking answers?"
"Liz is doing as good as you can expect under the situation. She was asleep and woke up screaming. We are thinking she had a nightmare."
I hope anyways.
"That's one hell of a nightmare." Alec muttering. "That's to be expected though."
It is?
Of course it is.
"Yeah." Sighing.
"You sure you got her?" Alec
"We got her."
What else can we do?
Sighing. "I told you that it wasn't going to be easy. That it was going to take time." Alec
"Never disagree with you."
Watching Max whispering to Liz as he rocked them both back and forth.
It wasn't something that Liz could just get over.
No one could.
"OK. OK." Alec's voice growing soft. "I got to go. Take care of her, Michael."
"Hey wait. Where are you? When are you coming back?"
I think we are a little over our heads here.
Regardless of what Max thinks.
Seeing you might just help Liz.
Or not.
Liz could go either way.
Feeling the pain and fear run through me once more.
Liz.
Hearing a tired sigh on the other end of the line. "I'm working on it."
"Alec?"
Now who's not giving a straight answers?
"You can do better then that."
I could use a little help here.
"Look, I ran into an expected problem. Taking care of it. I shouldn't have even contacted you."
"Alec?"
What kind of danger you in?
What more are we in?
"It's fine Mike. Your still safe. He doesn't know where Elizabeth is. Don't call this number back. I'm ditching this cell. I'll contact you again in a few days."
"Alec?"
Who?
He?
Doesn't know?
What the hell?
"Later Mike." Alec hang up.
What the hell?
Liz.
Listening to a dial tone and Liz's soft cries.
Someone knows Liz is still alive.
Feeling my heart start to race.
MICHAEL'S POV
"OK. OK." Max pausing. "I know. I just can't shake this feeling. Something not right." Max making eye contact with me through the mirror.
I know Max.
Calling every two minute isn't going to solved it though.
"No your right Tess. Liz needs her sleep. OK." Max paused. "OK. OK." Max snapping the cell shut.
"She's still sleeping?" Isabel asking quietly beside Max.
"Yeah." Max muttering.
Maria turning in her seat to face Max. "This is good Max. She hasn't slept in days. Liz needs her rest."
"Yeah..." Max muttering again.
Maria turning back in her seat sighing.
Taking her hand and kissing it before releasing it once more to place it back on the steering wheel.
From the corner of my eye I see Maria smile at me.
I love you so much.
"You should try to get some sleep. I think we have a little more then three hours before we get there."
If we are even on the right barely there dirt road.
Who in their right mind would want to live out here?
In the middle of middle, of no where no mans land.
That's right.
A paranoid government man who wants a place to disappear if need be.
But that's good right?
We needed out in the middle of no where.
Where no one can find us. Ever.
A place where Liz can breath.
"Max you should try to get some sleep too." Maria sinking in her seat slightly. Getting more comfortable.
Like that's going to happen.
Glancing at Max once more in the mirror.
How is she?
Max reading my thoughts clearly. Shaking his head no.
For the last two hours that Liz has been asleep, we both have been getting brief twinges of fear, pain, and loneliness coming through our once again open connection.
Max being closer to Liz then me, I can't imagine what he is actually feeling.
Focusing on the road once more.
Which is not helping Max right now at all.
I hope things get easier once we get there.
I pray things get easier.
Glancing at Max worried expression quickly before focusing on the road and the SUV in front of us once more.
For all of us.
Now if we can get there without anymore incidence.
"MICHAEL!" Max screaming.
The same time I feel a sharp pain rip through me.
Everything seems to go into slow motion, as the windows and wheels explode out in the SUV in front of us as if a bomb had hit it. Watching it swerve into the ditch.
"OH MY GOD!" Maria yelling.
"MICHAEL!" Max screaming once more. "LIZ!"
Both yelling at the same time as I slam on the breaks.
Max is out the jeep even came to a full screeching stop.
"Michael?" Maria's voice full of fear.
"What's happening?" Isabel
"WHAT THE HELL!?"
All three of us saying at the same time.
Pain racking through me once more taking my breath away.
Liz's pained inhuman screams filling the air as all four doors fly opens in the SUV. Liz basically rolling and falling out of the SUV before Max could reach her.
Breaking me out of my stupor.
"LIZ!" Getting out as fast as I can. Feeling as if I was walking in quick sand and my feet were made of lead.
Vaguely aware of Alex, Kyle and Tess stumbling out of the SUV too moments later.
"Liz. LIZ BABY." Max advancing on Liz as she back paddles away from us.
Liz letting out a blood curdling scream once more.
The pain jabbed once more through my chest as I stepped up to Max who was still trying to advance on Liz's fast retreating form.
"LIZ!" Maria
"What happened?" Isabel
"I don't know. She just woke up screaming and all hell broke loose." Alex
"Somebody do something!" Kyle
"Is everyone else alright?" Isabel
Barely hearing the others behind me under Liz's screams.
"LIZ! PLEASE STOP! LET ME HELP YOU! LIZ!" Max yelling over Liz's screams.
Tears flowing from Liz's eyes as she started to claw at her arms and neck. Pulling at her clothes and hair. Wildly screaming the whole time. Seemly totally unaware of anything else around her.
"Liz?" Max stopping his advancement.
What the hell?
"DO SOMETHING!" Maria screaming beside me. Feeling her hand on my shoulder. "Oh god Liz."
What?
"Liz? LIZ!" Max moving first. Trying to take Liz into his arms once more.
Liz screaming louder if that was even possible as soon as Max was able to make contact with her. Her skin lights up with the strange green current.
No.
Stopping my advance.
"Max." Pulling on his arm.
I don't think this is helping.
Liz screaming more as she claws and kicks her legs. Trying to escape.
What the hell is going on?
She is going to hurt herself.
"She hurting herself." Maria crying reading my thoughts.
"Liz. LIZ!" Max grabbing a hold of Liz's wrist. "IT'S ALRIGHT! YOUR ALRIGHT!"
Liz screaming louder once more as she starts to fight Max.
I don't think she even realizes that it's Max.
"Liz." Maria crying. "PLEASE!"
"What is happening?" Kyle
"MY GOD!" Isabel
"What's happening to her?" Maria
"Lizzy?" Alex
This isn't helping.
"SHHHHH... I GOT YOU! I GOT YOU BABY!" Max trying to get through to Liz.
"Just back up and give her some room." Not taking my eyes off of Liz and Max. "Max?"
Liz fighting, crying and screaming more as she battles against Max and some unseen force.
"MAX!"
What am I suppose to do?
Kneeling beside Max and Liz.
Should I make him release her?
Should I help hold her down?
"IT'S OK! IT'S OK!" Max pulling Liz's struggling body against his chest. "Shhhhh... STOP!" Not letting go of Liz's wrist as he some how manages to turn Liz around while wrapping his arms around her. Pulling Liz back to his chest. Lowering his voice. "Liz baby. Your safe. Your safe. No one is going to hurt you. Shhhhhh..." Max holding her tightly. "Stop. Just stop. Your safe baby. Your safe. I got you. I got you. Your going to be Ok. Your safe. Liz. Your safe baby. Shhhh..... Just stop." Repeating the words over and over again in her ear. "Your safe. Your safe now. It's over. It's all over now. Your safe."
Liz?
Max?
I've never felt so useless in my entire life.
Feeling waves after waves of pain and fear go through me.
Standing up and taking a few steps back away from the two.
"Shhhh baby. Shhh. I got you. I have you. Your safe baby. It's over now. Liz's your safe. No one is ever going to hurt you again." Max lowering his voice a little more. "Shhh. Your alright."
Liz suddenly stops struggling against Max as if all her energy was suddenly drained. Liz's screams turning into broken sobs.
Liz's eyes full of wild pain and fear.
What else?
Just like the night we found you.
Defeat.
Her eyes show defeat.
She's given up.
Feeling a lump form in my throat from the thought.
"Shhhh. I got you baby. I got you. Your OK. Your Ok.... Your doing so good baby. Your doing so good. I love you Liz. I love you. Your OK. Your OK. I got you baby. I got you." Max talking softer to Liz. "It's OK. It's all going to be OK."
Watching as Liz's tiny body convulse in tears.
What the hell happen?
"Shhh... I got you. That's it. Your doing good. Shhhh... Baby. You're OK. OK." Max now whispering softly to Liz.
"Max?" Whispering softly.
You have her?
Max nodding his head not looking up at me. "Your safe Liz. Your safe now. I got you baby. I have you. Shhhh......."
Liz quieting a little more.
Turning to look at the others standing back arms wrapped around each others. All having the same fear shocked look's on their faces.
It's that first night all over again.
All that progress.
Gone.
Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
Feeling my cell vibrate in my pocket.
Who the hell?
What now?
"Everyone OK?" Taking out my cell. Taking a few more steps away from Max and Liz.
"Yeah." Alex
Everyone else just nodding. Not taking their eyes off of Max and Liz.
Cell vibrating once more.
What now?
980-555-1769
Who the hell? No one but the sheriff has this number.
"Hello?"
"IS ELIZABETH ALRIGHT? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" Alec's voice screaming in my ear.
Alec
"Alec?"
"Yeah. What's going on? Is Elizabeth alright Michael? I haven't felt her screaming in my head since..." Voice trailing off. "Well you know when. Is Elizabeth alright?"
DAMN!
Looking back at Max and Liz. Watching as Liz's bends forward and dry heaves. Max having one arm around her waist and holding her hair back with the other.
DAMN IT!
Please tell me she doesn't remember?
Not now. Please not now.
Not ever.
"MICHAEL!"
"Yeah, yeah we got her." Murmuring.
Noting that the strange green current was gone now.
That's good at least.
Right?
"What the hell happened? Michael I heard Elizabeth screaming my name again." Alec sounding out of breath. "It was like getting hit over the head with a ton of bricks."
Tell me about it.
Damn. Damn it.
This is not good. Not good at all.
What if she remembers everything now?
Liz could barely handle what little she did remember before.
But that was a problem too wasn't it?
She was lost by what she couldn't remember at all.
Maybe this is good.
Maybe now Liz will be able to deal with everything and move on.
I just never wanted her to remember.
Some things were better left forgotten.
How do we help you get over this?
Over everything that they did?
"Michael I swear to god if you don't start talking I'm going to kick your alien ass to the moon when I get there." Alec breaking through my thoughts.
Damn it.
"Liz had a nightmare."
That's the least of what could have happened.
How do I make this right?
DAMN!
"So Elizabeth is alright" Alec
Alright?
Screams taking over Liz as she started to try to claw at herself again.
Fear and pain slamming into me full force once more.
I wouldn't exactly call her that.
Liz.
How am I suppose to make this better?
"MICHAEL!" Alec screaming in my ear.
"We got her Alec."
Well Max has her.
"What the hell does that mean? It doesn't sound like you have her at all." Alec
"Shhhh. Stop baby stop." Max holding her hands closed. As he pulled her once more against his chest still holding her hands. "Shhh... It's going to be OK. Shhh... Baby. stop. Just stop."
It means we have no clue what we are even doing.
Is our best going to be enough?
Liz's screams turning into broken hoarse sobs once more.
"Michael? Would you just give me a straight freaking answers?"
"Liz is doing as good as you can expect under the situation. She was asleep and woke up screaming. We are thinking she had a nightmare."
I hope anyways.
"That's one hell of a nightmare." Alec muttering. "That's to be expected though."
It is?
Of course it is.
"Yeah." Sighing.
"You sure you got her?" Alec
"We got her."
What else can we do?
Sighing. "I told you that it wasn't going to be easy. That it was going to take time." Alec
"Never disagree with you."
Watching Max whispering to Liz as he rocked them both back and forth.
It wasn't something that Liz could just get over.
No one could.
"OK. OK." Alec's voice growing soft. "I got to go. Take care of her, Michael."
"Hey wait. Where are you? When are you coming back?"
I think we are a little over our heads here.
Regardless of what Max thinks.
Seeing you might just help Liz.
Or not.
Liz could go either way.
Feeling the pain and fear run through me once more.
Liz.
Hearing a tired sigh on the other end of the line. "I'm working on it."
"Alec?"
Now who's not giving a straight answers?
"You can do better then that."
I could use a little help here.
"Look, I ran into an expected problem. Taking care of it. I shouldn't have even contacted you."
"Alec?"
What kind of danger you in?
What more are we in?
"It's fine Mike. Your still safe. He doesn't know where Elizabeth is. Don't call this number back. I'm ditching this cell. I'll contact you again in a few days."
"Alec?"
Who?
He?
Doesn't know?
What the hell?
"Later Mike." Alec hang up.
What the hell?
Liz.
Listening to a dial tone and Liz's soft cries.
Someone knows Liz is still alive.
Feeling my heart start to race.
Dig my grave,
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
- Twilighteyes
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 106
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: us
ch 45 B
CHAPTER 45 B
MICHAEL'S POV
Someone knows Liz is alive.
Someone knows Liz is alive.
Someone knows.
No one was ever suppose to know.
We were careful.
We were so careful.
Running through everything we have done since Liz came back into their lives.
Growling.
Alec..
What the hell did you do?
"Michael. Michael." Feeling someone shaking my shoulder. Pulling me from my thoughts.
Looking down to see Maria's tear streaked face looking up at me.
Maria.
"What is it Michael? What's wrong? Who was that? Was it Alec?"
Get it together Guerin. Now is not the time to freak out.
We did everything right.
I did everything.
"Yeah." Looking at my cell a minute before shutting it and sliding it back into my back pocket.
Best thing we can do is get the hell out of here.
"What did he say? Is he coming?"
"Soon."
No sense in upsetting her more.
"Michael?" Frown on her beautiful face.
"It's OK Maria." Looking past her to Max's and Liz's rocking form. Max whispering unheard words in Liz's ear.
Shit!
This is not how it was suppose to go.
"Michael?"
"You OK?" Looking at Maria once more.
Nodding her head.
Good. That's my girl.
Smiling.
Two years ago you would be hyperventilating and sniffing some kind of oil.
Pulling her against me.
"Now what Michael? What are we going to do now?" Holding me just as tightly.
Now?
Looking around to see the others standing off to the side of the ruined SUV.
"Now we are going to get everything together and get to that cabin."
Faster we get there the better I will feel.
"How? The SUV was totaled." Looking up at me.
"Thank god we're aliens then hun?" Giving her a forced smile.
"You seriously going to be able to fix it?"
"With all of our talents we should." Taking Maria hand and leading her back to the others.
Besides, I'm pretty sure it's all superficial.
"Was that Alec on the cell? Is he on his way?" Alex taking a step towards me as soon as we got close.
We can't expect Alec to swoop in and save us.
"Yeah, and soon." Looking everyone over once more.
We need to snap out of it people.
Hardening my voice. "Tess, Isabel. Fix the tires and windows. I want it fixed before Liz see it. I'm sure she has no idea what she did yet. Kyle see if you can get it to start. Make sure there is no other damage. Get it back on the road. I want to be able to leave in ten."
The three immediately going to do what was asked of them.
"What should I do?" Maria tugging on my hand.
Kissing her forehead. "Why don't you go get a blanket and water for Liz."
Nodding her head before hurrying away to the jeep happy to be helpful.
Alex.
"Alex find out how much longer till we are there. I want to know exact time."
"Want to tell me what is going on, first? Besides Liz?" Alex keeping his voice low.
What?
Alex stepping a little closer. "I know we're all freaked out about Liz. But you just went all commander on our ass's. Which I know well enough that you only do when your one, scared. Two, when we could be in danger and three, Max is out of commission. A. You look pretty well in control to me. It's always took a lot to rattle you. B. Max is preoccupied but not out of it. C. We're out in the middle of no place and I don't see any danger at the moment. So D. Something happened that we don't know about. Which leads me to the call. What did Alec say? Why did he call now of all times?"
Alex always the observant one.
"He heard Liz screaming in his head again."
"SHIT!" Alex looking back at Liz and Max. "Not good. Not good at all. I was just hoping it was a nightmare. A really bad nightmare but just a nightmare nevertheless."
Following his line of sight.
Max and Liz still in the same position.
"So you think she remembers everything now too." Looking one more at Alex.
At lease her pain is not so intense anymore.
"Yeah. I don't think she would have reach out to Alec for anything else." Alex shaking his head. "I mean it was the one and only time Liz has done it before. I prayed that she would never remember. Not to remember any of it."
"We don't know for sure yet. We are still only speculating. It still might not be that bad."
It's not wrong to have a little hope.
"You saw her. Look at her." Alex pointing out.
"I'm not deluding myself. I know we are back to square one again." Looking past Alex to Max and Liz. Maria standing a few feet away with water and a blanket. Looking once more unsure of what to do. "We are just going to have to get her through no matter what she does or doesn't remember. We always knew it was a possibility. That it was most likely just a matter of time. But Liz is strong. We can get her though this too."
We have too.
"Yeah. Liz is a very strong and smart girl. But there is a limit to what someone can take. I think Liz has more then her share."
Yeah, but she's still here and I'm not giving her up without a fight.
"Liz is still here and she is still alive. We are all together. Not really asking for more at the moment."
How can we?
"Tell me about it." Alex looking once more back to Liz and Max.
Hear the SUV come to life.
Shot of fear slamming through me the same time I see Liz's jump in Max's arms.
Liz.
"Shhhhh... It's just the car. It's just the car." Max
Feeling the fear pulled away from me at once.
She's getting better control again.
Turning to see the fully restored SUV pull back on the dirt road.
At least that's a plus.
"It's OK. OK." Max reassuring Liz once more.
Making my way back to Liz and Max.
"Your safe Liz. I promise. You are safe. Nothing is ever going to happen to you again." Hearing Max whispering once more in Liz's ear as I kneel down in front of the two.
"Liz?"
Making eye contact with Max.
Well?
Max nodding slowly.
"We need to get out of here."
"In a little while." Max keeping his voice low.
If it was up to you, Max. You would stay here for days.
As long as it meant Liz was in your arms.
Sighing.
That's not exactly fair.
We still need to leave.
Max isn't going to make this easy of course.
"Liz can you hear me?" Keeping my voice low. "Liz?"
Liz.
Turning my head to the side and shifting down a little to see Liz's face.
Raw pain so clearly in her eyes.
Feeling my own pain go through me.
Liz.
Swallowing the lump in my throat.
"Liz, Honey we need to leave."
Liz tensely slightly.
"Shhh.... It's alright baby. It's OK." Max glaring at me. "We have time. We have all the time you need."
Liz biting her lower lip.
At least she is hearing us. She hasn't gone catatonic.
"Liz....."
What am I suppose to say?
This sucks big time.
I'm sorry.
"Liz. I know this is hard."
Liz starting to rock back and forth slightly in Max's arms.
Ok, that is an understatement.
"Michael." Max warning.
"Let's just get to the cabin. In a few more hours we will be there. We can sort everything out then. OK?"
Feeling Liz's emotions pull away more.
Liz?
This is not good.
"Michael." Max growling out. "Liz it's OK. Stay with me OK." Max softening his voice.
Maybe I shouldn't have pushed.
"Liz honey?"
Looking to see all emotion gone in Liz's eyes.
Damn it!
Backing away slightly.
"Liz? Liz?" Max turning Liz's face up towards his. "Don't do this? You hear me Liz? Don't do this." Liz's eyes rolling in the back of her head before sliding shut.
Flickering movements catching my eye behind Max's head.
"Liz Please. Baby, please." Max pleading with Liz.
What the hell?
Watching Liz's flickering ghost image appear behind Max.
What the hell?
Keepsmiling7- Please don't throw anything!
MICHAEL'S POV
Someone knows Liz is alive.
Someone knows Liz is alive.
Someone knows.
No one was ever suppose to know.
We were careful.
We were so careful.
Running through everything we have done since Liz came back into their lives.
Growling.
Alec..
What the hell did you do?
"Michael. Michael." Feeling someone shaking my shoulder. Pulling me from my thoughts.
Looking down to see Maria's tear streaked face looking up at me.
Maria.
"What is it Michael? What's wrong? Who was that? Was it Alec?"
Get it together Guerin. Now is not the time to freak out.
We did everything right.
I did everything.
"Yeah." Looking at my cell a minute before shutting it and sliding it back into my back pocket.
Best thing we can do is get the hell out of here.
"What did he say? Is he coming?"
"Soon."
No sense in upsetting her more.
"Michael?" Frown on her beautiful face.
"It's OK Maria." Looking past her to Max's and Liz's rocking form. Max whispering unheard words in Liz's ear.
Shit!
This is not how it was suppose to go.
"Michael?"
"You OK?" Looking at Maria once more.
Nodding her head.
Good. That's my girl.
Smiling.
Two years ago you would be hyperventilating and sniffing some kind of oil.
Pulling her against me.
"Now what Michael? What are we going to do now?" Holding me just as tightly.
Now?
Looking around to see the others standing off to the side of the ruined SUV.
"Now we are going to get everything together and get to that cabin."
Faster we get there the better I will feel.
"How? The SUV was totaled." Looking up at me.
"Thank god we're aliens then hun?" Giving her a forced smile.
"You seriously going to be able to fix it?"
"With all of our talents we should." Taking Maria hand and leading her back to the others.
Besides, I'm pretty sure it's all superficial.
"Was that Alec on the cell? Is he on his way?" Alex taking a step towards me as soon as we got close.
We can't expect Alec to swoop in and save us.
"Yeah, and soon." Looking everyone over once more.
We need to snap out of it people.
Hardening my voice. "Tess, Isabel. Fix the tires and windows. I want it fixed before Liz see it. I'm sure she has no idea what she did yet. Kyle see if you can get it to start. Make sure there is no other damage. Get it back on the road. I want to be able to leave in ten."
The three immediately going to do what was asked of them.
"What should I do?" Maria tugging on my hand.
Kissing her forehead. "Why don't you go get a blanket and water for Liz."
Nodding her head before hurrying away to the jeep happy to be helpful.
Alex.
"Alex find out how much longer till we are there. I want to know exact time."
"Want to tell me what is going on, first? Besides Liz?" Alex keeping his voice low.
What?
Alex stepping a little closer. "I know we're all freaked out about Liz. But you just went all commander on our ass's. Which I know well enough that you only do when your one, scared. Two, when we could be in danger and three, Max is out of commission. A. You look pretty well in control to me. It's always took a lot to rattle you. B. Max is preoccupied but not out of it. C. We're out in the middle of no place and I don't see any danger at the moment. So D. Something happened that we don't know about. Which leads me to the call. What did Alec say? Why did he call now of all times?"
Alex always the observant one.
"He heard Liz screaming in his head again."
"SHIT!" Alex looking back at Liz and Max. "Not good. Not good at all. I was just hoping it was a nightmare. A really bad nightmare but just a nightmare nevertheless."
Following his line of sight.
Max and Liz still in the same position.
"So you think she remembers everything now too." Looking one more at Alex.
At lease her pain is not so intense anymore.
"Yeah. I don't think she would have reach out to Alec for anything else." Alex shaking his head. "I mean it was the one and only time Liz has done it before. I prayed that she would never remember. Not to remember any of it."
"We don't know for sure yet. We are still only speculating. It still might not be that bad."
It's not wrong to have a little hope.
"You saw her. Look at her." Alex pointing out.
"I'm not deluding myself. I know we are back to square one again." Looking past Alex to Max and Liz. Maria standing a few feet away with water and a blanket. Looking once more unsure of what to do. "We are just going to have to get her through no matter what she does or doesn't remember. We always knew it was a possibility. That it was most likely just a matter of time. But Liz is strong. We can get her though this too."
We have too.
"Yeah. Liz is a very strong and smart girl. But there is a limit to what someone can take. I think Liz has more then her share."
Yeah, but she's still here and I'm not giving her up without a fight.
"Liz is still here and she is still alive. We are all together. Not really asking for more at the moment."
How can we?
"Tell me about it." Alex looking once more back to Liz and Max.
Hear the SUV come to life.
Shot of fear slamming through me the same time I see Liz's jump in Max's arms.
Liz.
"Shhhhh... It's just the car. It's just the car." Max
Feeling the fear pulled away from me at once.
She's getting better control again.
Turning to see the fully restored SUV pull back on the dirt road.
At least that's a plus.
"It's OK. OK." Max reassuring Liz once more.
Making my way back to Liz and Max.
"Your safe Liz. I promise. You are safe. Nothing is ever going to happen to you again." Hearing Max whispering once more in Liz's ear as I kneel down in front of the two.
"Liz?"
Making eye contact with Max.
Well?
Max nodding slowly.
"We need to get out of here."
"In a little while." Max keeping his voice low.
If it was up to you, Max. You would stay here for days.
As long as it meant Liz was in your arms.
Sighing.
That's not exactly fair.
We still need to leave.
Max isn't going to make this easy of course.
"Liz can you hear me?" Keeping my voice low. "Liz?"
Liz.
Turning my head to the side and shifting down a little to see Liz's face.
Raw pain so clearly in her eyes.
Feeling my own pain go through me.
Liz.
Swallowing the lump in my throat.
"Liz, Honey we need to leave."
Liz tensely slightly.
"Shhh.... It's alright baby. It's OK." Max glaring at me. "We have time. We have all the time you need."
Liz biting her lower lip.
At least she is hearing us. She hasn't gone catatonic.
"Liz....."
What am I suppose to say?
This sucks big time.
I'm sorry.
"Liz. I know this is hard."
Liz starting to rock back and forth slightly in Max's arms.
Ok, that is an understatement.
"Michael." Max warning.
"Let's just get to the cabin. In a few more hours we will be there. We can sort everything out then. OK?"
Feeling Liz's emotions pull away more.
Liz?
This is not good.
"Michael." Max growling out. "Liz it's OK. Stay with me OK." Max softening his voice.
Maybe I shouldn't have pushed.
"Liz honey?"
Looking to see all emotion gone in Liz's eyes.
Damn it!
Backing away slightly.
"Liz? Liz?" Max turning Liz's face up towards his. "Don't do this? You hear me Liz? Don't do this." Liz's eyes rolling in the back of her head before sliding shut.
Flickering movements catching my eye behind Max's head.
"Liz Please. Baby, please." Max pleading with Liz.
What the hell?
Watching Liz's flickering ghost image appear behind Max.
What the hell?
Keepsmiling7- Please don't throw anything!
Dig my grave,
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
- Twilighteyes
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 106
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: us
CH 46
CHAPTER 46
MAX'S POV
NO!
The numbness that had been creeping though my body the last five minutes from our connection started to take hold of my heart.
Stay.
"Liz. Stay with me. Liz?" Patting her cheek lightly. "Liz."
Come on Liz.
Please.
"What the hell?" Barely aware of Michael standing up.
"Liz? Come on Liz." Shaking her a little in my arms.
Don't do this to me.
"Max." Michael
Open your eyes.
"Liz. baby please."
Don't pull away from me.
Feeling the numbness start to seep away to nothingness.
I need you.
"Max." Michael
"Liz." Kissing her forehead. "Please open your eyes. Stay with me, baby. Stay with me."
I need you.
"MAX!" Michael yelling.
Don't do this to me.
I need you.
Damn it!
Nothingness leaving a gapping hole in my heart where Liz once was.
"Please wake up Liz. Please wake up. Please. I need you."
"MAX!" Michael shaking my shoulder.
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU NOW!
"MAX!" Michael shaking me.
"WHAT?!" Looking up at Michael.
Michael pointing behind me.
What?
What can't possibly wait.
Turning to see Liz's astral self in green scrubs kneeling behind me.
No.
Feeling as if a bucket of cold water hit me.
Liz.
What?
Green scrubs?
This can't be good.
No.
"Liz?"
You don't have to do this. You're already safely with me.
"Is that what you used to see?" Michael whispering.
What the hell?
You can see Liz now? Michael?
Glancing at Michael back to astral Liz.
Son of a bitch.
Michael..... Resisting the urge to growl out his name.
"What? What is going on?" Maria sounding confused. "Is Liz OK?"
Stifling down my irritation.
Can't we have anything just us anymore?
Look of confusion so clearly in Liz's eyes.
Liz.
Look of fear coming more apparent on her face.
No stay with me.
"Somebody say something." Maria hissing out. "Tell me what the hell is going on."
Liz glancing at Maria with concern before looking at me once more.
Liz
Shifting her lifeless body in my arms as I turn to face her astral self. "Liz. It's OK. It's alright."
"What is going on? Michael? Max? Guys? Is Liz alright?" Maria begging now. "Can someone just tell me."
"Liz is sort of out of her body." Michael.
"What? Oh...." Maria looking around. "Wait. You see her now too?"
Liz looking at herself in my arms.
"Yeah." Michael softer.
"Liz. It's OK. You're safe already, Liz. See your already safely with me. I got you. I have you." Pulling her body closer to me. "It's OK Liz. Your alright now."
Please baby.
Liz reaching out her hand as if to touch herself. Stopping inches from her self. Frowning.
"It's aright Liz. See your safe. Your safe with me." Repeating the words once more.
Are you even listening to me?
Liz pulling her arm back. Looking at her hands. Down at her clothes Back to her hands again. Touching her face briefly before looking back to herself and me once more.
She has no clue what's happening.
"It's alright, Liz. It's going to be alright." Reassuring once more.
Liz looking up at me with an unreadable expression.
"Your safe. I got you. Your safe." Lifting her body slightly in my arms.
Come back to me.
"Liz? Are you OK?" Michael
Liz turning to look at Michael briefly before slowly looking side to side at our surroundings.
"Liz?"
I wish I knew what was going on in that head of yours.
Looking back to me again as she slowly stood up. As if she was afraid to make any sudden movements.
"Liz?"
Liz taking a careful step back.
Stay.
"Liz."
This isn't good.
"Liz, we are going to figure this all out." Michael.
Liz looking cautiously at Michael as she took a couple more steps back.
She's leaving.
"Liz don't go. Stay. Please stay with me." Pleading out loud once more.
Liz taking another step back looking at me sadly before shaking her head no. Turning on the balls of her feet and was gone.
"NO!" Reaching out towards the now empty space.
"Where did she go?" Michael looking around.
"Liz?" Shifting her limp body in my arms to take her face once more into my hand. "Liz?" Shaking softly once more.
Come back to me. Please come back to me.
"Max?" Maria
"No."
She's not in there.
"Where do you think?" Michael.
"I don't know." Cutting Michael off. "You shouldn't have pushed. You should have given her more time.
It's not his fault.
I felt her shutting down and closing me off even before Michael said we needed to leave.
"MAX!" Maria stepping forward. "You know that's not true or fair."
Still doesn't make it easier.
Taking a deep breath in and letting it out slowly.
Liz is not going to come back until I get it together.
I need to get it together.
"I'm sorry." Looking at Michael briefly.
Liz wouldn't want me to fight with him.
Liz defiantly wouldn't be coming back if we are fighting.
I will do anything you want baby.
Anything.
"Max, we need to go. There isn't anything we can do for her here at the moment." Michael
Calm.
Taking another breath in and letting it out slowly.
I need to stay calm.
"I know." Standing easy with Liz.
What else was there to do now?
"Can someone tell me what is going on?" Maria
"Liz is gone." Michael
"What do you mean that she is gone." Maria
I got you Liz.
I won't let anything happen to you.
"She's not here anymore." Michael
"Her body is right there." Maria pointing to me and Liz.
"I know." Michael
"But....." Maria
"We don't know what is going on Maria." Michael whispering cutting Maria off as he takes her hand. "But now we need to go."
"Is that a good idea? How will Liz know....." Maria leaving the sentence hanging.
"The same way she always knew how to find Max." Michael
Liz and I are connect.
She will come back when she is ready.
When I'm fully calm and in control again.
I got you Liz.
Started to make my way to the jeep.
"Are you sure?" Maria lowering her voice. "Things are not exactly the same any more."
Michael sighing. "We have to be. We don't have much choice at the moment. We need to get on the road."
"Max?" Alex speaking for the first time. Looking at me with concern as he kept in step with mine.
"She's fine."
Liz is going to be fine.
"Max?" Alex
"She just needs to get her barring."
That's all.
Liz is going to be fine.
Come back to me baby.
Just come back to me.
MAX'S POV
NO!
The numbness that had been creeping though my body the last five minutes from our connection started to take hold of my heart.
Stay.
"Liz. Stay with me. Liz?" Patting her cheek lightly. "Liz."
Come on Liz.
Please.
"What the hell?" Barely aware of Michael standing up.
"Liz? Come on Liz." Shaking her a little in my arms.
Don't do this to me.
"Max." Michael
Open your eyes.
"Liz. baby please."
Don't pull away from me.
Feeling the numbness start to seep away to nothingness.
I need you.
"Max." Michael
"Liz." Kissing her forehead. "Please open your eyes. Stay with me, baby. Stay with me."
I need you.
"MAX!" Michael yelling.
Don't do this to me.
I need you.
Damn it!
Nothingness leaving a gapping hole in my heart where Liz once was.
"Please wake up Liz. Please wake up. Please. I need you."
"MAX!" Michael shaking my shoulder.
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU NOW!
"MAX!" Michael shaking me.
"WHAT?!" Looking up at Michael.
Michael pointing behind me.
What?
What can't possibly wait.
Turning to see Liz's astral self in green scrubs kneeling behind me.
No.
Feeling as if a bucket of cold water hit me.
Liz.
What?
Green scrubs?
This can't be good.
No.
"Liz?"
You don't have to do this. You're already safely with me.
"Is that what you used to see?" Michael whispering.
What the hell?
You can see Liz now? Michael?
Glancing at Michael back to astral Liz.
Son of a bitch.
Michael..... Resisting the urge to growl out his name.
"What? What is going on?" Maria sounding confused. "Is Liz OK?"
Stifling down my irritation.
Can't we have anything just us anymore?
Look of confusion so clearly in Liz's eyes.
Liz.
Look of fear coming more apparent on her face.
No stay with me.
"Somebody say something." Maria hissing out. "Tell me what the hell is going on."
Liz glancing at Maria with concern before looking at me once more.
Liz
Shifting her lifeless body in my arms as I turn to face her astral self. "Liz. It's OK. It's alright."
"What is going on? Michael? Max? Guys? Is Liz alright?" Maria begging now. "Can someone just tell me."
"Liz is sort of out of her body." Michael.
"What? Oh...." Maria looking around. "Wait. You see her now too?"
Liz looking at herself in my arms.
"Yeah." Michael softer.
"Liz. It's OK. You're safe already, Liz. See your already safely with me. I got you. I have you." Pulling her body closer to me. "It's OK Liz. Your alright now."
Please baby.
Liz reaching out her hand as if to touch herself. Stopping inches from her self. Frowning.
"It's aright Liz. See your safe. Your safe with me." Repeating the words once more.
Are you even listening to me?
Liz pulling her arm back. Looking at her hands. Down at her clothes Back to her hands again. Touching her face briefly before looking back to herself and me once more.
She has no clue what's happening.
"It's alright, Liz. It's going to be alright." Reassuring once more.
Liz looking up at me with an unreadable expression.
"Your safe. I got you. Your safe." Lifting her body slightly in my arms.
Come back to me.
"Liz? Are you OK?" Michael
Liz turning to look at Michael briefly before slowly looking side to side at our surroundings.
"Liz?"
I wish I knew what was going on in that head of yours.
Looking back to me again as she slowly stood up. As if she was afraid to make any sudden movements.
"Liz?"
Liz taking a careful step back.
Stay.
"Liz."
This isn't good.
"Liz, we are going to figure this all out." Michael.
Liz looking cautiously at Michael as she took a couple more steps back.
She's leaving.
"Liz don't go. Stay. Please stay with me." Pleading out loud once more.
Liz taking another step back looking at me sadly before shaking her head no. Turning on the balls of her feet and was gone.
"NO!" Reaching out towards the now empty space.
"Where did she go?" Michael looking around.
"Liz?" Shifting her limp body in my arms to take her face once more into my hand. "Liz?" Shaking softly once more.
Come back to me. Please come back to me.
"Max?" Maria
"No."
She's not in there.
"Where do you think?" Michael.
"I don't know." Cutting Michael off. "You shouldn't have pushed. You should have given her more time.
It's not his fault.
I felt her shutting down and closing me off even before Michael said we needed to leave.
"MAX!" Maria stepping forward. "You know that's not true or fair."
Still doesn't make it easier.
Taking a deep breath in and letting it out slowly.
Liz is not going to come back until I get it together.
I need to get it together.
"I'm sorry." Looking at Michael briefly.
Liz wouldn't want me to fight with him.
Liz defiantly wouldn't be coming back if we are fighting.
I will do anything you want baby.
Anything.
"Max, we need to go. There isn't anything we can do for her here at the moment." Michael
Calm.
Taking another breath in and letting it out slowly.
I need to stay calm.
"I know." Standing easy with Liz.
What else was there to do now?
"Can someone tell me what is going on?" Maria
"Liz is gone." Michael
"What do you mean that she is gone." Maria
I got you Liz.
I won't let anything happen to you.
"She's not here anymore." Michael
"Her body is right there." Maria pointing to me and Liz.
"I know." Michael
"But....." Maria
"We don't know what is going on Maria." Michael whispering cutting Maria off as he takes her hand. "But now we need to go."
"Is that a good idea? How will Liz know....." Maria leaving the sentence hanging.
"The same way she always knew how to find Max." Michael
Liz and I are connect.
She will come back when she is ready.
When I'm fully calm and in control again.
I got you Liz.
Started to make my way to the jeep.
"Are you sure?" Maria lowering her voice. "Things are not exactly the same any more."
Michael sighing. "We have to be. We don't have much choice at the moment. We need to get on the road."
"Max?" Alex speaking for the first time. Looking at me with concern as he kept in step with mine.
"She's fine."
Liz is going to be fine.
"Max?" Alex
"She just needs to get her barring."
That's all.
Liz is going to be fine.
Come back to me baby.
Just come back to me.
Dig my grave,
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
- Twilighteyes
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 106
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: us
ch 47
Hey guys. So sorry for the wait. I have been exhausted... Thanks to everyone that gives me feedback and who has not given up on this story! Thank you so much!
Sorry that I'm not leaving each of you feedback and proper thanks but I thought you would want the next part more. Thanks again!
CHAPTER 47
LIZ'S POV
Running her fingers over her bed.
I wish I was here.
I wish that mom and dad was here.
I wish that I could go back.
That I was never taken.
That Max.....
No.
I would never wish that Max and I never was.
No matter what.
Never.
Looking out the dark window.
Never.
If only.....
Feeling a pulling sensation once more.
Looking around to find myself in a wooded area.
What? How? Who?
Alec.
Taking a few step forward.
Alec gasping in pain as he clutched his blood soaked t-shirt.
ALEC NO!
"Elizabeth?" Alec's eyes wide with fear as he looks back up at me. "WHAT THE HELL!" Coming out in a gasp.
Falling to my knees beside him. Reaching out to him.
'Alec.'
"No." Alec shaking his head. Looking behind him and around the tree that he was leaning against. Looking back at me. "You need to get out of here." Gasping for a breath. "Now."
'NO!'
'ALEC!'
"Elizabeth please." Growling out between clench teeth as he started to stand up. "Get out of here now! RUN!"
'NO!'
Shaking my head.
'I'm not going to leave you.'
"Who are you talking to?" The voice alone sending shock waves of fear through me.
Looking up to see a large man in full army gear about twenty feet away.
'Who?'
My mind making the connection at once.
Smiling coolly down at me.
'I'm going to love to hear you scream my name.'
'NO!'
'HE!'
'NO!'
Fear taking over every sense.
'No. It can't be....' Shaking my head no.
"ELIZABETH!" Alec through clench teeth.
'NO!'
Pulling sensation ripping through me.
NO!
Bright light blinding my eyes.
NO!
Warmth, overwhelming love laced with concerned flooding through all my senses. Instinctively letting it take over the fear and panic. Cling to it as I let it push the fear and memory down and away.
No.
Warmth and love tightening around me.
Please.
Fear and panic slipping away as easy as it came.
"Liz? Liz baby. You with me?" Max's soft voice slipping through my senses.
"Is she finally awake?" Maria's hush whisper in the back ground.
"Max?" Michael's same low worried tone just as far away.
Awake?
No.
Squeezing my eyes shut at the light.
What happened?
Fear and uncertainty hovering on the edges.
Alec.
"It was just a dream Liz. Just a dream. Your safe now. I got you." Max's voice whispering in my ear. Feeling Max's warm breath on my face. "Open your eyes and look at me. Your safe."
Safe? No. What?
Waves of warmth and love going through me once more.
Safe?
"Your safe Liz. Your safe." Max whispering once more. "Come back to me. Your safe. It's going to be OK."
Max......
Swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat.
Opening my eyes to find myself once more in the back of the jeep safely in Max's arms.
Safe.
Taking a much needed breath.
Max.
Just Max.
My Max....
Just a dream.
A nightmare. Right?
Image of me looking at myself in Max's arms wash over me.
Sending shivers down my spine.
No.
That did not happen.
Couldn't have happen.
I. Can't. Do. Things. Like. That.
Saying each word precisely and slowly in my head.
I can't.
The lights exploding.
Door melting.
Diary burning.
Pushing Tess out of my head.
I........
Being with Max the same time they had me......
Seeing. Feeling. Everything he went through...... What my friends where going through.....
No.
No.
NO!.
Shaking my head.
It was Max. Max brought me to him. Max has the powers. It was Max. It's always been Max.
Right?
Right?
I don't want to believe it.
I don't have to believe it.
"Liz?"
Alec.
Then Alec...
Coldness rushing through me once more.
"Shhh... Your OK. Everything OK." Max running his hand up and down my arm. Warming me once more.
How easy just to stay. To just feel this way forever.....
Safe.
Loved.
Nothing else.
So easy.
So easy to just stay and not feel anything else?
To think and feel nothing else?
Not have to face anything.
With Max?
Just.....
I don't have to believe.
To know.
To except.
I....
No.
Alec.
Sliding easily out of Max's arms.
Coolness, fear and emptiness filling my senses. The pounding in my head starting up once more.
I have to.
Lives depend on it.
Alec.
Alec... was hurt. With Burk...
Feeling the bile burn my throat as my stomach contracted.
If.....
Seeing Burk come towards me.
Pushing the image away as I shake my head once more.
No. No.
It's not safe.
Wrapping my arms around me to try to stop the inedible hole that was forming inside of me.
It's never going to be safe.
For me.
For them.
"Please take a breath Liz." Max softly encourages.
Why does it have to be this way?
Taking a painful breath in.
Feeling Max relax slightly next to me.
I don't want to be this way.
Feel this way.
I can't...
Alec.
Squeezing my eyes shut at Alec's blood soaked t-shirt. His gasp of pain.
Alec.
I have to...
What?
Michael.
"Michael." Coming out a hoarse whisper. Careful not to look at Max's face. Concentrating on Michael's through the rear view window. "I need to get to Alec."
Please. I have to help him.
Feeling Max stiffen slightly next to me but not saying anything.
Michael pulling the jeep to a stop in front of a faded red barn.
"He going to meet us at the cabin soon chicka." Noticing Maria for the first time turned in her front seat giving me a small encouraging smiling.
Shaking my head no. "He's hurt Michael. He hurt bad."
"Liz, Alec is fine." Michael sounding tired. Unsure.
"No. I saw..." Shaking my head.
"A bad dream Liz. It was just a bad dream." Max's soft voice laced with concerned controlled hurt.
Was it?
NO!
Shaking my head no again.
You have to listen to me.
"Liz." Michael turning in his seat. "Liz." Reaching out to me.
Pulling myself away instinctively. Further into the corner.
Frown forming on Michael's face.
I'm sorry.
Blinking back the tears that stung my eyes.
I just... I just can't.
Pulling back his hand. Taking a breath and letting it out slowly. "I just got off the phone with him a couple hours ago. He was fine. Said he would be here as soon as possible." Michael quickly glancing at Max with an unreadable expression. Then back to me once more. "He's fine." Leaving no room for argument.
No.
The blood.
Burk.
Involuntary shutter going through me as the fear shot through my body once more.
Burk
"Just a dream." Max repeating next to me once more. "Think about it Liz. It was just a bad dream. Alec is fine."
Just a dream.
Just a dream?
Michael talked to Alec?
Blinking back more tears that threaten to fall.
Michael talked to him.
Michael wouldn't lie to me.
Right?
So it was just all a dream?
But I saw.... I felt...
I was.... Max and.... myself?
Seeing myself once more cradled safely in Max's arms.
I..... was... impossible...
It felt real.
It happened right?
I was with Max all those times.
I saw. I knew.
It happened.... Right?
Right?
With Max. Always with Max.
And Alec?
I never... Did I?
No.
Just Max.
Because of who he is. What he can do. Because he saved my life. Because he loves me. Because of what I feel for him.....
Swallowing the painful lump that was forming.
Max and I have a link.
Our connection.
And Alec?
I saw....
It felt....
The same?
Didn't it?
Pounding in my head increasing.
I... It.....
No.
No.
I refuse to believe..... That I... That I can....
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
And Burk?
Cold shivers racking through my body once more.
Alec said he killed him.
RIGHT!?
Right?
'Your safe Elizabeth.'
'No one will ever hurt you again. Ever. You or anyone else for that matter.'
'I took care of them.'
'Your going to be safe now. Max and the other are going to take good care of you.'
'I will meet you soon.'
Alec's voice so clearly in my head.
Alec had never lied to me.
Right?
He's gone.
He's dead.
He has to be dead.
Just a nightmare.
That's all.
That's all it was.
I couldn't live if....
"Chicka say something." Maria shrilling voice pulling me from my thoughts.
"Give her a minute Maria. She's just working it out. She is OK." Max
Working it out?
OK?
I wouldn't call me OK.
"Liz." Catching my eyes once more. "Liz. Trust me. Alec, he is fine. He was fine. Couple of hours of hiking we are going to be at his cabin. In a few days Alec will be there too. As soon as he can. It's his plan Liz. Everything is going to be OK. Alec is OK." Studying me for a moment. "Just a bad dream. That's all. Just a dream. OK. Just trust me please."
A dream.
"Breath Liz. All you have to do is breath. OK. We are going to take care of the rest." Michael giving me a smile. "Promise nothing is going to happen to anyone."
Taking a deep breath in and letting it out slowly.
A dream?
If only.... Could it really be?
I'm expected to have nightmares. Right? After everything.... It's the very least I should expect.
Right?
That's normal. Right?
"OK?" Maria hopefully.
Finally looking over at Max for the first time. Seeing the small questioning look in his eyes. Calculating. Love mixed with hope for the first time.
Max.....
Giving me a brave smiling. "Up for a little hiking?" Reaching up. Taking the cuff of my sleeve and tugging on it lightly.
Brief skin to skin contact sending shock wave of warmth and love through my body. Pushing away the fear and doubt once more.
Max..
Just a dream... Just a dream....
"Uge. Physical labor!" Looking up at Maria. "Just what I wanted to do after riding in the car for what seems like weeks!" Maria throwing up her hands. "Chicka you know the only labor I want to do is at the mall or sitting at the pool. Me and mud. Nature no less. Ewe." Wrinkling up her nose. "Hey do you remember when you paid me to go camping!"
Feeling the a small smile begin to form as Maria started off on one of her stories.
Just a dream.....
Right?
Sorry that I'm not leaving each of you feedback and proper thanks but I thought you would want the next part more. Thanks again!
CHAPTER 47
LIZ'S POV
Running her fingers over her bed.
I wish I was here.
I wish that mom and dad was here.
I wish that I could go back.
That I was never taken.
That Max.....
No.
I would never wish that Max and I never was.
No matter what.
Never.
Looking out the dark window.
Never.
If only.....
Feeling a pulling sensation once more.
Looking around to find myself in a wooded area.
What? How? Who?
Alec.
Taking a few step forward.
Alec gasping in pain as he clutched his blood soaked t-shirt.
ALEC NO!
"Elizabeth?" Alec's eyes wide with fear as he looks back up at me. "WHAT THE HELL!" Coming out in a gasp.
Falling to my knees beside him. Reaching out to him.
'Alec.'
"No." Alec shaking his head. Looking behind him and around the tree that he was leaning against. Looking back at me. "You need to get out of here." Gasping for a breath. "Now."
'NO!'
'ALEC!'
"Elizabeth please." Growling out between clench teeth as he started to stand up. "Get out of here now! RUN!"
'NO!'
Shaking my head.
'I'm not going to leave you.'
"Who are you talking to?" The voice alone sending shock waves of fear through me.
Looking up to see a large man in full army gear about twenty feet away.
'Who?'
My mind making the connection at once.
Smiling coolly down at me.
'I'm going to love to hear you scream my name.'
'NO!'
'HE!'
'NO!'
Fear taking over every sense.
'No. It can't be....' Shaking my head no.
"ELIZABETH!" Alec through clench teeth.
'NO!'
Pulling sensation ripping through me.
NO!
Bright light blinding my eyes.
NO!
Warmth, overwhelming love laced with concerned flooding through all my senses. Instinctively letting it take over the fear and panic. Cling to it as I let it push the fear and memory down and away.
No.
Warmth and love tightening around me.
Please.
Fear and panic slipping away as easy as it came.
"Liz? Liz baby. You with me?" Max's soft voice slipping through my senses.
"Is she finally awake?" Maria's hush whisper in the back ground.
"Max?" Michael's same low worried tone just as far away.
Awake?
No.
Squeezing my eyes shut at the light.
What happened?
Fear and uncertainty hovering on the edges.
Alec.
"It was just a dream Liz. Just a dream. Your safe now. I got you." Max's voice whispering in my ear. Feeling Max's warm breath on my face. "Open your eyes and look at me. Your safe."
Safe? No. What?
Waves of warmth and love going through me once more.
Safe?
"Your safe Liz. Your safe." Max whispering once more. "Come back to me. Your safe. It's going to be OK."
Max......
Swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat.
Opening my eyes to find myself once more in the back of the jeep safely in Max's arms.
Safe.
Taking a much needed breath.
Max.
Just Max.
My Max....
Just a dream.
A nightmare. Right?
Image of me looking at myself in Max's arms wash over me.
Sending shivers down my spine.
No.
That did not happen.
Couldn't have happen.
I. Can't. Do. Things. Like. That.
Saying each word precisely and slowly in my head.
I can't.
The lights exploding.
Door melting.
Diary burning.
Pushing Tess out of my head.
I........
Being with Max the same time they had me......
Seeing. Feeling. Everything he went through...... What my friends where going through.....
No.
No.
NO!.
Shaking my head.
It was Max. Max brought me to him. Max has the powers. It was Max. It's always been Max.
Right?
Right?
I don't want to believe it.
I don't have to believe it.
"Liz?"
Alec.
Then Alec...
Coldness rushing through me once more.
"Shhh... Your OK. Everything OK." Max running his hand up and down my arm. Warming me once more.
How easy just to stay. To just feel this way forever.....
Safe.
Loved.
Nothing else.
So easy.
So easy to just stay and not feel anything else?
To think and feel nothing else?
Not have to face anything.
With Max?
Just.....
I don't have to believe.
To know.
To except.
I....
No.
Alec.
Sliding easily out of Max's arms.
Coolness, fear and emptiness filling my senses. The pounding in my head starting up once more.
I have to.
Lives depend on it.
Alec.
Alec... was hurt. With Burk...
Feeling the bile burn my throat as my stomach contracted.
If.....
Seeing Burk come towards me.
Pushing the image away as I shake my head once more.
No. No.
It's not safe.
Wrapping my arms around me to try to stop the inedible hole that was forming inside of me.
It's never going to be safe.
For me.
For them.
"Please take a breath Liz." Max softly encourages.
Why does it have to be this way?
Taking a painful breath in.
Feeling Max relax slightly next to me.
I don't want to be this way.
Feel this way.
I can't...
Alec.
Squeezing my eyes shut at Alec's blood soaked t-shirt. His gasp of pain.
Alec.
I have to...
What?
Michael.
"Michael." Coming out a hoarse whisper. Careful not to look at Max's face. Concentrating on Michael's through the rear view window. "I need to get to Alec."
Please. I have to help him.
Feeling Max stiffen slightly next to me but not saying anything.
Michael pulling the jeep to a stop in front of a faded red barn.
"He going to meet us at the cabin soon chicka." Noticing Maria for the first time turned in her front seat giving me a small encouraging smiling.
Shaking my head no. "He's hurt Michael. He hurt bad."
"Liz, Alec is fine." Michael sounding tired. Unsure.
"No. I saw..." Shaking my head.
"A bad dream Liz. It was just a bad dream." Max's soft voice laced with concerned controlled hurt.
Was it?
NO!
Shaking my head no again.
You have to listen to me.
"Liz." Michael turning in his seat. "Liz." Reaching out to me.
Pulling myself away instinctively. Further into the corner.
Frown forming on Michael's face.
I'm sorry.
Blinking back the tears that stung my eyes.
I just... I just can't.
Pulling back his hand. Taking a breath and letting it out slowly. "I just got off the phone with him a couple hours ago. He was fine. Said he would be here as soon as possible." Michael quickly glancing at Max with an unreadable expression. Then back to me once more. "He's fine." Leaving no room for argument.
No.
The blood.
Burk.
Involuntary shutter going through me as the fear shot through my body once more.
Burk
"Just a dream." Max repeating next to me once more. "Think about it Liz. It was just a bad dream. Alec is fine."
Just a dream.
Just a dream?
Michael talked to Alec?
Blinking back more tears that threaten to fall.
Michael talked to him.
Michael wouldn't lie to me.
Right?
So it was just all a dream?
But I saw.... I felt...
I was.... Max and.... myself?
Seeing myself once more cradled safely in Max's arms.
I..... was... impossible...
It felt real.
It happened right?
I was with Max all those times.
I saw. I knew.
It happened.... Right?
Right?
With Max. Always with Max.
And Alec?
I never... Did I?
No.
Just Max.
Because of who he is. What he can do. Because he saved my life. Because he loves me. Because of what I feel for him.....
Swallowing the painful lump that was forming.
Max and I have a link.
Our connection.
And Alec?
I saw....
It felt....
The same?
Didn't it?
Pounding in my head increasing.
I... It.....
No.
No.
I refuse to believe..... That I... That I can....
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
And Burk?
Cold shivers racking through my body once more.
Alec said he killed him.
RIGHT!?
Right?
'Your safe Elizabeth.'
'No one will ever hurt you again. Ever. You or anyone else for that matter.'
'I took care of them.'
'Your going to be safe now. Max and the other are going to take good care of you.'
'I will meet you soon.'
Alec's voice so clearly in my head.
Alec had never lied to me.
Right?
He's gone.
He's dead.
He has to be dead.
Just a nightmare.
That's all.
That's all it was.
I couldn't live if....
"Chicka say something." Maria shrilling voice pulling me from my thoughts.
"Give her a minute Maria. She's just working it out. She is OK." Max
Working it out?
OK?
I wouldn't call me OK.
"Liz." Catching my eyes once more. "Liz. Trust me. Alec, he is fine. He was fine. Couple of hours of hiking we are going to be at his cabin. In a few days Alec will be there too. As soon as he can. It's his plan Liz. Everything is going to be OK. Alec is OK." Studying me for a moment. "Just a bad dream. That's all. Just a dream. OK. Just trust me please."
A dream.
"Breath Liz. All you have to do is breath. OK. We are going to take care of the rest." Michael giving me a smile. "Promise nothing is going to happen to anyone."
Taking a deep breath in and letting it out slowly.
A dream?
If only.... Could it really be?
I'm expected to have nightmares. Right? After everything.... It's the very least I should expect.
Right?
That's normal. Right?
"OK?" Maria hopefully.
Finally looking over at Max for the first time. Seeing the small questioning look in his eyes. Calculating. Love mixed with hope for the first time.
Max.....
Giving me a brave smiling. "Up for a little hiking?" Reaching up. Taking the cuff of my sleeve and tugging on it lightly.
Brief skin to skin contact sending shock wave of warmth and love through my body. Pushing away the fear and doubt once more.
Max..
Just a dream... Just a dream....
"Uge. Physical labor!" Looking up at Maria. "Just what I wanted to do after riding in the car for what seems like weeks!" Maria throwing up her hands. "Chicka you know the only labor I want to do is at the mall or sitting at the pool. Me and mud. Nature no less. Ewe." Wrinkling up her nose. "Hey do you remember when you paid me to go camping!"
Feeling the a small smile begin to form as Maria started off on one of her stories.
Just a dream.....
Right?
Dig my grave,
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
- Twilighteyes
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 106
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: us
Re: FINDING HOME (M/L mature) a/n 7/7
OK once again I suck I know. I took forever and a day. The next part just wouldn't come out right. So, to make a long story short. After 8 different versions of a horrible part. I skipped a head a little and came up with this........ Still not the best and still not really happy with it... Just a lot better then what I had before. Also it's a little different them my normal writing style. Not a real big different..... Well, let me know what you think. And once again so sorry.
Thank you so so so much to anyone left reading this story that hasn't given up on me. Love you millions! Thanks!
CHAPTER 48
LIZ POV
Staring out at the crystal blue water. The pristine snow capped mountains in the distance. The fresh cool clean air flitting across my skin and through my hair. Soft fur under my finger tips. The heavy weight warming my body.
Five days.
Five days we have been here.
Same thing has basically been happening each day since.
Kyle, Michael, and Alex setting up the perimeter. Getting the generator and water running. Security precautions being set. Walking the grounds. On the look out. Making sure everything in order. Livable. I think Perfecting a perfect routine of protection.
I'm.
We.
Are perfectly safe here you know....
Swallowing the urge to laugh.
What a joke. Such a joke.
Shaking my head.
Maria is been chatting none stop at times trying to entertain or distract me.
When she doesn't get frustrated with me.
Alex coming by joking and reminiscing about the good old days. Of how and what I. What we. All was at one time.
It seems like a life time ago.
Not even my life....
Like someone else lived it and I just got to watch it happen to her.
For awhile at least.
Me not responding or talking is starting to take it's toll on them I think.
Who am I kidding?
I see the sad, hurt, worried looks.
I just don't have much to say.....
I don't know how to play the part anymore.
Not to mention I'm just to exhausted.
Isabel has been bitching about something or another. From the cold weather. To the cramp dirty cabin.
Which is total spotless and repainted by now. Thanks to Isabel, or so Maria says.
Maria even swears that she made the small cabin bigger.
It looks the same here.
Hidden carefully under the massive trees surrounding it.
I wonder what Alec will think of that?
Would he really mind or care?
Is he even still alive?
Swallowing down the lump and fear that wants to consume me.
No.
I'm not going to think about that.
Where was I?
Cabin.
Not that I would really know what it looks like inside. Not being able to bring myself to walk through the doorway.
It was freeing being out of the jeep and SUV. The cramp hotels.
Riding on back of the horses. Wind and sunshine on my face.
The thought of being enclosed once more.
Trapped.
Shudder going through my body before I could lock it down.
I just can't.
Not right now.
Just not right now.
Maybe tomorrow...
Maybe.
Catching Max tensing ever so slightly from the corner of my eye.
Please don't come over. Please just stay were you're at.
I'm fine.
Just fine.
Max sitting over on the bolder some fifty feet away.
Sighing.
My ever constant shadow.
Well at least one of them. If it wasn't Max it was Michael or one of the others. Just mostly Max.
Waiting... Watching... Never leaving....
Waiting for me to do something.
Anything.
To cry. To scream. Flip out. To talk.
Anything.
And me?
Looking down at Nikita. The grey wolf that had it's heavy head in my lap.
Running my hands through his soft fur.
Someone else who hasn't left my side.
Smiling slightly as Nikita licked my hand.
Nikita.
I don't seem to mind you at all.
Jake, the kind old man. Friend of Alec. Giving his blessing of his beloved Nikita, wolf that he found abandon and raised as a pup. To come and stay with me.
Not that he didn't really have a choice. Nikita not leaving my side as soon as he saw me.
Much to the others dismay. Not one of them beside Alex seemed happy about it.
They act like your going to have me for lunch!
Scratching behind his ears.
Almost feeling a giggle make it's way out.
Almost.
Nikita raising his head, turning and growling slightly.
Tensing slightly as I turn half around to follow his line of sight.
Watching Michael's frown form more as he approaches me determinedly.
Easy.
Running my hands through Nikita's fur soothingly.
It's just Michael.
It was only a matter of time.
I'm kind of surprise that he let it go on this long.
Max had enough after the first night.
Max...
Feeling a small ache go through me.
Stop it. Just stop.
Michael stopping in front of me. Looking at Nikita uncertainty once more before sitting in front of me.
He doesn't bite.
"Enough." Michael said firmly but softly. Glancing down at my half eaten lunch.
"Did you even eat anything?" Michael looking at me to Nikita back to me again.
Nikita wasn't fond of vegetables and fruit.
"Liz. You have to eat."
Not hungry.
"Your going to make yourself sick."
Not true I haven't thrown up in days.
Another good point being out here.
Free.
Michael running his hand over his hair and face. Standing back up. "Come on. Come take a walk with me."
Did I mention that I was tired?
"You know I won't make you do anything you don't want to do."
I know that.
Glancing back to Max and his ever watchful eyes.
"Come on. Just the two of us. We can go see the horses."
I do like the horses.
Nikita standing up and shaking out his fur before I even attempted to move he nudges my shoulder with his head as if to say 'Come on. You know you want to.'
Is it sad that he knows me so well?
Slowly rising to my feet.
I'm going to regret this.
Thank you so so so much to anyone left reading this story that hasn't given up on me. Love you millions! Thanks!
CHAPTER 48
LIZ POV
Staring out at the crystal blue water. The pristine snow capped mountains in the distance. The fresh cool clean air flitting across my skin and through my hair. Soft fur under my finger tips. The heavy weight warming my body.
Five days.
Five days we have been here.
Same thing has basically been happening each day since.
Kyle, Michael, and Alex setting up the perimeter. Getting the generator and water running. Security precautions being set. Walking the grounds. On the look out. Making sure everything in order. Livable. I think Perfecting a perfect routine of protection.
I'm.
We.
Are perfectly safe here you know....
Swallowing the urge to laugh.
What a joke. Such a joke.
Shaking my head.
Maria is been chatting none stop at times trying to entertain or distract me.
When she doesn't get frustrated with me.
Alex coming by joking and reminiscing about the good old days. Of how and what I. What we. All was at one time.
It seems like a life time ago.
Not even my life....
Like someone else lived it and I just got to watch it happen to her.
For awhile at least.
Me not responding or talking is starting to take it's toll on them I think.
Who am I kidding?
I see the sad, hurt, worried looks.
I just don't have much to say.....
I don't know how to play the part anymore.
Not to mention I'm just to exhausted.
Isabel has been bitching about something or another. From the cold weather. To the cramp dirty cabin.
Which is total spotless and repainted by now. Thanks to Isabel, or so Maria says.
Maria even swears that she made the small cabin bigger.
It looks the same here.
Hidden carefully under the massive trees surrounding it.
I wonder what Alec will think of that?
Would he really mind or care?
Is he even still alive?
Swallowing down the lump and fear that wants to consume me.
No.
I'm not going to think about that.
Where was I?
Cabin.
Not that I would really know what it looks like inside. Not being able to bring myself to walk through the doorway.
It was freeing being out of the jeep and SUV. The cramp hotels.
Riding on back of the horses. Wind and sunshine on my face.
The thought of being enclosed once more.
Trapped.
Shudder going through my body before I could lock it down.
I just can't.
Not right now.
Just not right now.
Maybe tomorrow...
Maybe.
Catching Max tensing ever so slightly from the corner of my eye.
Please don't come over. Please just stay were you're at.
I'm fine.
Just fine.
Max sitting over on the bolder some fifty feet away.
Sighing.
My ever constant shadow.
Well at least one of them. If it wasn't Max it was Michael or one of the others. Just mostly Max.
Waiting... Watching... Never leaving....
Waiting for me to do something.
Anything.
To cry. To scream. Flip out. To talk.
Anything.
And me?
Looking down at Nikita. The grey wolf that had it's heavy head in my lap.
Running my hands through his soft fur.
Someone else who hasn't left my side.
Smiling slightly as Nikita licked my hand.
Nikita.
I don't seem to mind you at all.
Jake, the kind old man. Friend of Alec. Giving his blessing of his beloved Nikita, wolf that he found abandon and raised as a pup. To come and stay with me.
Not that he didn't really have a choice. Nikita not leaving my side as soon as he saw me.
Much to the others dismay. Not one of them beside Alex seemed happy about it.
They act like your going to have me for lunch!
Scratching behind his ears.
Almost feeling a giggle make it's way out.
Almost.
Nikita raising his head, turning and growling slightly.
Tensing slightly as I turn half around to follow his line of sight.
Watching Michael's frown form more as he approaches me determinedly.
Easy.
Running my hands through Nikita's fur soothingly.
It's just Michael.
It was only a matter of time.
I'm kind of surprise that he let it go on this long.
Max had enough after the first night.
Max...
Feeling a small ache go through me.
Stop it. Just stop.
Michael stopping in front of me. Looking at Nikita uncertainty once more before sitting in front of me.
He doesn't bite.
"Enough." Michael said firmly but softly. Glancing down at my half eaten lunch.
"Did you even eat anything?" Michael looking at me to Nikita back to me again.
Nikita wasn't fond of vegetables and fruit.
"Liz. You have to eat."
Not hungry.
"Your going to make yourself sick."
Not true I haven't thrown up in days.
Another good point being out here.
Free.
Michael running his hand over his hair and face. Standing back up. "Come on. Come take a walk with me."
Did I mention that I was tired?
"You know I won't make you do anything you don't want to do."
I know that.
Glancing back to Max and his ever watchful eyes.
"Come on. Just the two of us. We can go see the horses."
I do like the horses.
Nikita standing up and shaking out his fur before I even attempted to move he nudges my shoulder with his head as if to say 'Come on. You know you want to.'
Is it sad that he knows me so well?
Slowly rising to my feet.
I'm going to regret this.
Dig my grave,
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
- Twilighteyes
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 106
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: us
ch 49
Hey guys yes it's me, back so soon..... Are you shocked? I am a little. I blame it on all the amazing feedback I got! Thank you! You guys rock!
I know this next part isn't much but it's really setting up for the next chapter.....
Thanks!
CHAPTER 49
MICHAEL'S POV
Coming back from my second lap of the perimeter we had set up based on Alec instructions.
Not too bad.
Motion detectors and cameras. Inferred. Hidden from plain sight. All connected to monitors in the cabin, barn, and storage bunker. Even had traps and trip wire we could set up.
If we felt the need...
Generator with enough fuel to last us three to six months depending on our use. Plenty of fresh water through the filter. Three months of food in the storage bunker to last us, at the very least. Plenty of apples, peaches, pears, oranges and apricot trees. An over grown vegetable garden that needed some work but still looked like it could possibly produce something.
The barn and house built under huge canopy of trees that branches covering up any signs of being here from the air at least.
Middle of now where. Not easy to get to. And if they did. We sure in the hell would know about it.
Alec is more paranoid then I am.
Thank heavens for that!
We are safe here.
I never thought I would say that.
Then again I'm not going to stop double checking everything either.
Looking to were Liz was still leaning against the tree. Nikita's head in her lap. Max staring longley a few yards away.
DAMN IT!
This is my fault....
After Liz woke up from the so called nightmare about Alec and asking for my help she has done nothing but pull slowly away once more.
I never should have just dismissed her fears of the dream.
Even if it was a dream.....
What if Liz did astral project herself or whatever you want to call it to Alec?
What if he was hurt?
No.
Shaking my head.
Liz only shared the bond with Max.
No. That's not entirely true anymore.
Liz and I share one now too.....
I could see her the last time along with Max too.
Was it from the new bond we shared after the healing or was Liz's powers growing?
Could she really have been with Alec?
Max would defiantly flip if that was the case.
Doesn't really matter right now. Either way I can't do anything about it. I can only deal with the here and now.
Which is Liz.
Liz who stopped speaking to anyone four days ago.
Sure she is still listening to us. Still aware of her surroundings. Slightly responding without talking. Eating little.
Just leaning against that damn tree.
I think she slept a few hours two days ago. Just to wake crying.
So Max tells me. Pulling away from him when he tried to comfort her.
Liz didn't melt or catch anything on fire.
Just refusing once more to be touched and to talk.
What little ground we made with her, we lost.
Her armor is getting thicker by the minute. Pulling once more slowly into herself.
Pulling away from the hurt and the pain. From any emotion at all.
Feeling nothing.
Pulling so far into herself she might not make it back this time.....
Enough.
Someone needs to get through to her.
And since this is my mess...
Nikita lowly growls as I approach.
Liz running her hands through his fur quieting him.
Easy boy. I'm on your side.
Stopping in front of Liz.
I like the wolf and all. If it didn't look like it could rip out our throats with any wrong move.
And here we are trusting you with Liz?
Sitting down in front of them.
Watching Liz look everywhere but at me.
"Enough." Stating firmly but softly.
Looking at the plate of fruit beside her. Her sandwich gone.
How much you want to bet she fed it to Nikita?
"Did you even eat anything?"
Liz shifting slightly.
No.
"Liz. You have to eat."
This isn't good.
Grant she hasn't gotten sick in the last couple days, but how much has she actually ate to throw up?
"Your going to make yourself sick."
When was the last time you actually ate something?
This needs to stop now.
Running my hand over my hair and face.
Fine.
I distract. Get you out of your head.
Standing back up. "Come on. Come take a walk with me."
Exercise will do you some good. Not to mention will give me a chance to think.
Liz looking uncertainly around. Glancing at the house.
She afraid of the house.
To be trapped?
I get that.
"You know I won't make you do anything you don't want to do."
You want to stay outside. That's fine.
For now.
Watching her eyes shift to Max.
Following her gaze.
Max staring longingly at us.
I know it's killing you Max but you need to back off.
Doesn't it feel like we have been through this before?
"Come on. Just the two of us. We can go see the horses."
Liz loved the horses. She actually smiled a real smile with them.
Nikita standing up and shaking out his fur. Nudging her shoulder with his head as if to say. 'Come on. You know you want to.'
Good job Nikita.
Liz slowly rising to my feet. Look of uncertainty still on her face.
Is it sad that she listening to the wolf more than me?
Liz wobbling slightly.
Reaching my hands out to steady her.
I know this next part isn't much but it's really setting up for the next chapter.....
Thanks!
CHAPTER 49
MICHAEL'S POV
Coming back from my second lap of the perimeter we had set up based on Alec instructions.
Not too bad.
Motion detectors and cameras. Inferred. Hidden from plain sight. All connected to monitors in the cabin, barn, and storage bunker. Even had traps and trip wire we could set up.
If we felt the need...
Generator with enough fuel to last us three to six months depending on our use. Plenty of fresh water through the filter. Three months of food in the storage bunker to last us, at the very least. Plenty of apples, peaches, pears, oranges and apricot trees. An over grown vegetable garden that needed some work but still looked like it could possibly produce something.
The barn and house built under huge canopy of trees that branches covering up any signs of being here from the air at least.
Middle of now where. Not easy to get to. And if they did. We sure in the hell would know about it.
Alec is more paranoid then I am.
Thank heavens for that!
We are safe here.
I never thought I would say that.
Then again I'm not going to stop double checking everything either.
Looking to were Liz was still leaning against the tree. Nikita's head in her lap. Max staring longley a few yards away.
DAMN IT!
This is my fault....
After Liz woke up from the so called nightmare about Alec and asking for my help she has done nothing but pull slowly away once more.
I never should have just dismissed her fears of the dream.
Even if it was a dream.....
What if Liz did astral project herself or whatever you want to call it to Alec?
What if he was hurt?
No.
Shaking my head.
Liz only shared the bond with Max.
No. That's not entirely true anymore.
Liz and I share one now too.....
I could see her the last time along with Max too.
Was it from the new bond we shared after the healing or was Liz's powers growing?
Could she really have been with Alec?
Max would defiantly flip if that was the case.
Doesn't really matter right now. Either way I can't do anything about it. I can only deal with the here and now.
Which is Liz.
Liz who stopped speaking to anyone four days ago.
Sure she is still listening to us. Still aware of her surroundings. Slightly responding without talking. Eating little.
Just leaning against that damn tree.
I think she slept a few hours two days ago. Just to wake crying.
So Max tells me. Pulling away from him when he tried to comfort her.
Liz didn't melt or catch anything on fire.
Just refusing once more to be touched and to talk.
What little ground we made with her, we lost.
Her armor is getting thicker by the minute. Pulling once more slowly into herself.
Pulling away from the hurt and the pain. From any emotion at all.
Feeling nothing.
Pulling so far into herself she might not make it back this time.....
Enough.
Someone needs to get through to her.
And since this is my mess...
Nikita lowly growls as I approach.
Liz running her hands through his fur quieting him.
Easy boy. I'm on your side.
Stopping in front of Liz.
I like the wolf and all. If it didn't look like it could rip out our throats with any wrong move.
And here we are trusting you with Liz?
Sitting down in front of them.
Watching Liz look everywhere but at me.
"Enough." Stating firmly but softly.
Looking at the plate of fruit beside her. Her sandwich gone.
How much you want to bet she fed it to Nikita?
"Did you even eat anything?"
Liz shifting slightly.
No.
"Liz. You have to eat."
This isn't good.
Grant she hasn't gotten sick in the last couple days, but how much has she actually ate to throw up?
"Your going to make yourself sick."
When was the last time you actually ate something?
This needs to stop now.
Running my hand over my hair and face.
Fine.
I distract. Get you out of your head.
Standing back up. "Come on. Come take a walk with me."
Exercise will do you some good. Not to mention will give me a chance to think.
Liz looking uncertainly around. Glancing at the house.
She afraid of the house.
To be trapped?
I get that.
"You know I won't make you do anything you don't want to do."
You want to stay outside. That's fine.
For now.
Watching her eyes shift to Max.
Following her gaze.
Max staring longingly at us.
I know it's killing you Max but you need to back off.
Doesn't it feel like we have been through this before?
"Come on. Just the two of us. We can go see the horses."
Liz loved the horses. She actually smiled a real smile with them.
Nikita standing up and shaking out his fur. Nudging her shoulder with his head as if to say. 'Come on. You know you want to.'
Good job Nikita.
Liz slowly rising to my feet. Look of uncertainty still on her face.
Is it sad that she listening to the wolf more than me?
Liz wobbling slightly.
Reaching my hands out to steady her.
Dig my grave,
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
- Twilighteyes
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 106
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: us
ch 50
Thanks everyone sorry again about the wait. Do I sound like a broken record or what! Sorry!
One other thing. I got some of the idea from grays anatomy. The one that Denny died and Izzy is laying on bathroom floor talking to Mere. I'm pretty sure I didn't use the exact words. I have changed this part so so many times. So if I did use a sentence or something it didn't come from me. Full credits to the writers/show etc.,,, I don't want anyone to think I was copying or stealing. It's more the desperation I felt from Izzy that I wanted to borrow and duplicate that feeling to you...... You know that heart wrenching pain and desperation. At least, at long last. Liz is making progress. (Grant it will show more in the next chapter then this one. This one is just going to give a better sight in what Liz feels.......) Also please let me know what you think and if you have any question. The chapter does jump from the past and present a lot. I let large gaps in-between each to help...... Please let me know if it's too confusing... I'm so not the best writer. I hope you like....... Thanks!
CHAPTER 50
MICHAEL'S POV
One moment I'm reaching out to steady Liz. Then, nothingness all around me. Numbing almost floating feeling surround me. Going through me. Taking all feeling away.
Ok.....
Slow steady beeping coming from all around.
Turning around slowly.
What the hell?
Liz?
One..................... Two..................... Three.................
Liz soft voice echoing numbers all around me.
What. The. Hell?
"Elizabeth?" Alec's voice coming from a distance away.
Liz?
Turning around.
Alec?
"Liz? Alec?"
What the hell?
Four............. Five............
Numbers coming once more.
"Elizabeth. It's me Alec." Alec's voice coming once more. "Elizabeth. Please."
Where the hell am I?
"Liz? Alec? LIZ!" Turning around quickly to find her standing in front of me in green scrubs. Barefooted. "Liz?"
Thank god!
You Ok?
Green scrubs...... Oh no. Not good. Not good at all.
"Liz? Are you OK? What is going on here? Where are we?"
Looking out at the nothingness.
We need to get out of here.
Wherever the hell here is.
"Elizabeth?" Alec's voice coming closer this time.
One............ Two...............
Alec?
"Liz where is Alec?"
Where are we?
Liz staring off into the nothingness. Making no move that she heard me at all.
"Liz. Answerer me." A little harsher this time.
Because I'm just about to freak here.
Wait. I just need to access the situation.
"Yes." Liz responding in a small whisper. Still not looking at me. "You shouldn't be here Michael."
"Liz? Where is Alec? And where is here?" Scanning the nothingness once more.
Three..........
Numbers once more.
That's Liz counting.
Didn't Max say that he heard counting when he was trying to reconnect to Liz?
Wait.
Green scrubs.
Looking at Liz closely up and down.
A memory?
Are we are in a memory?
"Elizabeth. Do you remember what I told you that night we were alone together? The poem that I told you. My favorite poem? Remember the meaning behind it? I know you're smart. I know you understand. Remember that poem. Hold on to it. Do you understand Elizabeth? Hold on to it." Alec's voice coming a urgent whisper now.
Four...........
Oh No. This is were Alec killed or put Liz in a coma or whatever the hell he did to her...
NO! Liz is alive.
She is fine. Liz is going to be fine.
She is just reliving a memory and I'm with her.
We just don't need to be doing this.
"Liz? Look at me."
We need to get out of here.
"Trust me ELizabeth. Trust me." Alec
Five............
You don't need to relive this.
"Never let them put out your spark." Liz muttering.
Spark? What?
Maybe she doesn't even realize what is happening.
"Liz. Please." Looking at her once more. "Do you know what is going on? Where we are?"
"We're in me." Feeling her body tense next to me. "And now I'm going to die again."
Die again?
"What?" Looking around for the threat.
"I'm sorry that I have to do this. I promise I will make this as quick and painless as possible." Alec pain filled whisper.
It's Alec.
The threat is Alec.
Soft cry escaping Liz's lips as she starts to shake.
Is this how it was for her?
"Liz NO! Look at me, Liz. This is not really happening! You hear me! This isn't real. THIS ISN'T REAL!"
Feeling a sharp pain form in my chest.
Beeping increasing.
It's her heart beep.
Watching Liz's eyes glass over.
I'm losing her.
Fighting through the pain. Grabbing onto Liz's arms. "LIZ! LIZ!" Shaking her a little. "IT'S ISN'T REAL! IT'S OVER NOW! IT'S ALL OVER NOW!"
Pain intensifying, taking my breath away. Just as quickly numbness replacing the pain.
Liz blinking away the tears that had fill her eyes as she finally looks up at me.
"Liz? You with me?" Taking is a slow breath.
Liz nodding briefly before looking away. Another tear slipping down her cheek.
"It's OK Liz. Your Ok now." Whispering softly.
Liz rubbing absently at her chest. "You shouldn't be here Michael." Raw whisper.
And neither should you.
"It's alright Liz. Your OK. Alec did what he had to do to get out. Your safe now. Your OK. Everything is going to be OK." Softly.
"I know. It didn't matter by then. I was already dead." Still rubbing her chest. "I just feel bad for Alec. It was really hard on him. He still feels so guilty." Looking away guiltily.
Alec feels bad? Already dead?
"What?" Taking a small step back. "What did you just say?"
You did not just say that...
"It doesn't matter." Liz muttering softly.
"Doesn't matter?"
What? You already being dead doesn't matter?
How?
I'm missing something here. Something important.
Looking around at the nothingness.
She's just confused. That's all.
Liz shaking her head a little. Wiping at an errant tear. "No. It doesn't." Whispering once more. "Why are you here Michael?"
Increasing beeps becoming on steady constant beep.
Feeling the pressure building.
"Liz?" Looking around once more for any possible threats.
Time is running out.
"LIZ!" Stepping closer to her once more.
"It's OK Michael." Liz softly. Still shaking. "It's almost over now. The pain was gone by now."
What? OK? Over?
"LIZ LOOK AT ME. FOCUS ON ME. TELL ME WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW."
"I don't know." Shaking her a little. Looking around. "I was already gone." Whispering. "I wanted to go but he wouldn't let me."
The nothingness shifting to a white heavy mist all around.
He?
What the hell?
Now where are we?
"Liz? Max's voice coming from a great distance this time.
Max?
Now what the hell is going on now?
Did Max connect to us?
"Max." Liz's voice coming from just as far away now too.
What the hell.
Looking down to see Liz beside me. Looking up at me.
"Liz talk to me." Taking hold of her arms. "Please."
If I can just get you to focus on me. Maybe we can get out of here.
"Max." Liz's soft voice coming again.
"Liz?" Max.
What the hell?
Liz not speaking at all.
"Liz please." Pleading with her once more.
"Max." Liz.
"Liz where are you?" Max's voice full of panic.
"Max." Liz calmly.
"Liz. I can't see you." Max.
"Max." Liz's voices closer this time.
Fear and desperation filling the atmosphere as the conversation of past Liz and Max takes place somewhere unseen around us.
"Liz. Answerer me please." Shaking her a little.
You can't get lost in this.
"LIZ!" Max screaming in pain and desperation.
"Max." Liz whispering calmly.
"LIZ!" Max yelling once more.
"I'm sorry Max...." Liz's soft whisper.
"I thought it would be better for him if I told him goodbye." Liz finally looking up at me. Tears still in her eyes.
Goodbye?
Liz was telling Max goodbye?
"What are you sorry for Liz?" Max softer now.
"Liz?" Squeezing her arms lightly. "What are you talking about?"
This isn't making any sense.
"Where are you?" Max's voice coming once more.
Feelings of desperation and panic getting worst.
"LIZ!" Max.
"I love you Max." Past Liz whispering in distance.
Feeling a rush of warmth wash over me full of Liz's love.
"I loved him more than anything in this world. I just wanted him safe and happy. I thought if I told him goodbye that he would be able to let me go and be happy again one day." Liz whispering softly. "That he would just let me go."
One single moment I could feel love and relief.
"But he couldn't let go. He won't let me go." Liz shaking her head sadly. "Never let me go. Just holds on tighter." Liz disappearing from my sight and gasp.
"NO! LIZ! NO!" Max screaming.
"LIZ!" Matching Max's scream.
The feelings of Pain, love and unbinding fear rushing over and though me.
Knocking the breath out of me. Feeling as if all my nerves were on fire. Raw and exposed.
Instinctively pulling away. Closing my eyes tight.
Saving myself.
Soft touch on my arm as numbness slowly replacing the raw emotions and pain.
"It's OK Michael." Liz's soft voice filling my ears.
Feeling all emotions and feelings being pulled back. Being locked away into Liz.
Then nothing once more.
All feeling gone. Removed.
Turning slowly in circle alone in the nothingness once more.
"Liz?"
Where is she?
A new panic threatening to take over.
"LIZ!"
That emotion being pulled away too.
"Overwhelming isn't it." Looking down to see Liz once more beside me whispering. "The pressure. Feeling like you can't breath. Move. Everything is heighten. Everything that he feels. Wants. Needs. If your not careful you can drown in it. Losing yourself. It can be the most amazing and terrifying thing in the world."
"Liz? Honey?"
"I. I. I lost myself." Shaking her head no. "No, that's not right. They killed me. Ripped and tore it out until I was gone. And I died." Not looking at me.
"Liz. Your Ok. You didn't really die. Alec saved you. Remember?"
"I did die Michael."
"No. Alec saved you. Your out. Your safe. Your here safe right now." Squeezing her arms a little so she could feel me.
She's just confused.
Liz shaking her head. Tears slipping down her cheeks. "Not then Michael. I was dead before Alec. Don't you get it? Alec was too late..."
"Liz...."
Shaking her head no. "That night...."
"Liz don't."
You don't need to remember that.
"That night. What they did..." Liz's voice cracking.
"I know what happen was horrible..."
Cutting me off. "Horrible?" Looking up at me. "Words can't describe.. That night, What was left.. What small impossible part that could possibly be left. That did survive."
"Liz...." Feeling a lump form in my throat of the raw pain in her eyes.
"What small insignificant piece that was left. That last piece of innocent Liz Parker. He said. He would allow. Over and over." Swallowing. "No. I killed it."
"Liz." Shaking my head no.
"I took that scalpel and I cut deep." Holding out her wrist. Whispering. "Even if Max erased it. It's still there. It won't go away. It will never ever go away."
"Liz."
"I still did it. I wanted to die." Slight exstarical laugh.
"Liz." Shaking my head no once more.
Don't say that.
"I needed to die. Needed to stay dead." Liz grabbing the front of my shirt. Her desperation seeping through. "I don't know how to do this."
"Liz listen to me." Taking her by the arms once more as my vision blurred.
"I can't do this Michael. I can't be this person. Don't you see that? Don't you understand? Please. I killed her and I still have to be... They still need me to be."
"Lizzy." Feeling the tears slip down my cheeks as I blinked.
Liz talking faster. "What you see. What they want. I can't do this. Be this person. This Liz Parker. I don't know how to be this person anymore that he. That they. Want me to be. I want to be, but I can't. I can't. I killed her. She died. Now. Now, I'm drowning. Drowning in the emotions of what he. That they. Want me to be. To feel. Want me to feel."
Liz taking a sobbing breath. "I knew once. I did. How to be the perfect daughter, friend, girlfriend. I dressed the part. Said the lines. Perfect, sure to be valedictorian Liz Parker. Little small town nobody Liz Parker. I knew her life. What she wanted to be. Her hopes and dreams. I knew and watched her life as if it was someone else. Outside looking in at it. And now. The world has stopped. She's dead. Liz Parker is dead. And I know she is because I killed her. I killed her Michael. She couldn't. I couldn't deal. I gave up."
Taking in another breath.
"Lizzy."
"I gave up. After two years of fighting. Surviving. She faught. She never gave up. But I couldn't do it anymore. Not after. Oh god. And everyone knows. I killed her. Because she couldn't. How could she possible live and feel after that? And now. Now the world has stopped. Has frozen and I'm stuck. Stuck being this person who. I. I. I looking at in a mirror and see this person that I'm suppose to be but I'm not. I can't be. I. Can't. Don't you understand?"
"Liz..."
Shaking her head no again. "And I'm drowning. Overwhelmed by his touch. Feeling everything he wants and needs and feels. Everything that he."
Cry breaking through once more. "That they. Everyone knows what happened to me. Looking at me with such pity in their eyes. Like I'm this damaged animal. And. And. And they are right. I try to feel nothing. But. But I don't want to be like this. Can't be like this. I want to go back and be that person that everyone wants and needs me to be. Before. I want to go back to the before. I want to be with him. To feel the love and warmth wash over and through me. To forget everything else."
Taking another broken breath in her small body. Feeling her body shake more. " But I can't. Because I know it's not true. That its not safe for him. For them. You. I. I want. I. I. I don't know what to do Michael. I don't. I feel all this weight and pressure. Pushing. Just pushing. Never stopping. I remember everything and my head hurts all the time now. Pounding. Just pounding. And everyone is just watching. Frozen too. Just waiting for me to do something. Anything. And I can't. I just can't. I can only be numb and not move. I can't move. I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'm going to make the wrong choice. The wrong decision. And feel. Feel everything I can't and don't want to feel. So tell me. Just tell me what to do? Because it hurts so much and I'm so scared. Please. Please just tell me."
"Liz." Pulling Liz tight against my chest. Feeling her small body shaking. Feeling more tears slip down my face.
"Please. Please. Tell me what to do. What to say? Be? I'll do what I'm suppose to do. Just tell me. Just tell me. Tell me how to make it right. How to make it better. Please. Please Michael. Please. Just make it all stop." Sobbs racking through her body. "Please. Please. Just make it all stop. Make it go away. Please."
"Liz"
"Please Michael. Please."
Sorry to leave it there. Please let me know what you think. THANKS!
One other thing. I got some of the idea from grays anatomy. The one that Denny died and Izzy is laying on bathroom floor talking to Mere. I'm pretty sure I didn't use the exact words. I have changed this part so so many times. So if I did use a sentence or something it didn't come from me. Full credits to the writers/show etc.,,, I don't want anyone to think I was copying or stealing. It's more the desperation I felt from Izzy that I wanted to borrow and duplicate that feeling to you...... You know that heart wrenching pain and desperation. At least, at long last. Liz is making progress. (Grant it will show more in the next chapter then this one. This one is just going to give a better sight in what Liz feels.......) Also please let me know what you think and if you have any question. The chapter does jump from the past and present a lot. I let large gaps in-between each to help...... Please let me know if it's too confusing... I'm so not the best writer. I hope you like....... Thanks!
CHAPTER 50
MICHAEL'S POV
One moment I'm reaching out to steady Liz. Then, nothingness all around me. Numbing almost floating feeling surround me. Going through me. Taking all feeling away.
Ok.....
Slow steady beeping coming from all around.
Turning around slowly.
What the hell?
Liz?
One..................... Two..................... Three.................
Liz soft voice echoing numbers all around me.
What. The. Hell?
"Elizabeth?" Alec's voice coming from a distance away.
Liz?
Turning around.
Alec?
"Liz? Alec?"
What the hell?
Four............. Five............
Numbers coming once more.
"Elizabeth. It's me Alec." Alec's voice coming once more. "Elizabeth. Please."
Where the hell am I?
"Liz? Alec? LIZ!" Turning around quickly to find her standing in front of me in green scrubs. Barefooted. "Liz?"
Thank god!
You Ok?
Green scrubs...... Oh no. Not good. Not good at all.
"Liz? Are you OK? What is going on here? Where are we?"
Looking out at the nothingness.
We need to get out of here.
Wherever the hell here is.
"Elizabeth?" Alec's voice coming closer this time.
One............ Two...............
Alec?
"Liz where is Alec?"
Where are we?
Liz staring off into the nothingness. Making no move that she heard me at all.
"Liz. Answerer me." A little harsher this time.
Because I'm just about to freak here.
Wait. I just need to access the situation.
"Yes." Liz responding in a small whisper. Still not looking at me. "You shouldn't be here Michael."
"Liz? Where is Alec? And where is here?" Scanning the nothingness once more.
Three..........
Numbers once more.
That's Liz counting.
Didn't Max say that he heard counting when he was trying to reconnect to Liz?
Wait.
Green scrubs.
Looking at Liz closely up and down.
A memory?
Are we are in a memory?
"Elizabeth. Do you remember what I told you that night we were alone together? The poem that I told you. My favorite poem? Remember the meaning behind it? I know you're smart. I know you understand. Remember that poem. Hold on to it. Do you understand Elizabeth? Hold on to it." Alec's voice coming a urgent whisper now.
Four...........
Oh No. This is were Alec killed or put Liz in a coma or whatever the hell he did to her...
NO! Liz is alive.
She is fine. Liz is going to be fine.
She is just reliving a memory and I'm with her.
We just don't need to be doing this.
"Liz? Look at me."
We need to get out of here.
"Trust me ELizabeth. Trust me." Alec
Five............
You don't need to relive this.
"Never let them put out your spark." Liz muttering.
Spark? What?
Maybe she doesn't even realize what is happening.
"Liz. Please." Looking at her once more. "Do you know what is going on? Where we are?"
"We're in me." Feeling her body tense next to me. "And now I'm going to die again."
Die again?
"What?" Looking around for the threat.
"I'm sorry that I have to do this. I promise I will make this as quick and painless as possible." Alec pain filled whisper.
It's Alec.
The threat is Alec.
Soft cry escaping Liz's lips as she starts to shake.
Is this how it was for her?
"Liz NO! Look at me, Liz. This is not really happening! You hear me! This isn't real. THIS ISN'T REAL!"
Feeling a sharp pain form in my chest.
Beeping increasing.
It's her heart beep.
Watching Liz's eyes glass over.
I'm losing her.
Fighting through the pain. Grabbing onto Liz's arms. "LIZ! LIZ!" Shaking her a little. "IT'S ISN'T REAL! IT'S OVER NOW! IT'S ALL OVER NOW!"
Pain intensifying, taking my breath away. Just as quickly numbness replacing the pain.
Liz blinking away the tears that had fill her eyes as she finally looks up at me.
"Liz? You with me?" Taking is a slow breath.
Liz nodding briefly before looking away. Another tear slipping down her cheek.
"It's OK Liz. Your Ok now." Whispering softly.
Liz rubbing absently at her chest. "You shouldn't be here Michael." Raw whisper.
And neither should you.
"It's alright Liz. Your OK. Alec did what he had to do to get out. Your safe now. Your OK. Everything is going to be OK." Softly.
"I know. It didn't matter by then. I was already dead." Still rubbing her chest. "I just feel bad for Alec. It was really hard on him. He still feels so guilty." Looking away guiltily.
Alec feels bad? Already dead?
"What?" Taking a small step back. "What did you just say?"
You did not just say that...
"It doesn't matter." Liz muttering softly.
"Doesn't matter?"
What? You already being dead doesn't matter?
How?
I'm missing something here. Something important.
Looking around at the nothingness.
She's just confused. That's all.
Liz shaking her head a little. Wiping at an errant tear. "No. It doesn't." Whispering once more. "Why are you here Michael?"
Increasing beeps becoming on steady constant beep.
Feeling the pressure building.
"Liz?" Looking around once more for any possible threats.
Time is running out.
"LIZ!" Stepping closer to her once more.
"It's OK Michael." Liz softly. Still shaking. "It's almost over now. The pain was gone by now."
What? OK? Over?
"LIZ LOOK AT ME. FOCUS ON ME. TELL ME WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW."
"I don't know." Shaking her a little. Looking around. "I was already gone." Whispering. "I wanted to go but he wouldn't let me."
The nothingness shifting to a white heavy mist all around.
He?
What the hell?
Now where are we?
"Liz? Max's voice coming from a great distance this time.
Max?
Now what the hell is going on now?
Did Max connect to us?
"Max." Liz's voice coming from just as far away now too.
What the hell.
Looking down to see Liz beside me. Looking up at me.
"Liz talk to me." Taking hold of her arms. "Please."
If I can just get you to focus on me. Maybe we can get out of here.
"Max." Liz's soft voice coming again.
"Liz?" Max.
What the hell?
Liz not speaking at all.
"Liz please." Pleading with her once more.
"Max." Liz.
"Liz where are you?" Max's voice full of panic.
"Max." Liz calmly.
"Liz. I can't see you." Max.
"Max." Liz's voices closer this time.
Fear and desperation filling the atmosphere as the conversation of past Liz and Max takes place somewhere unseen around us.
"Liz. Answerer me please." Shaking her a little.
You can't get lost in this.
"LIZ!" Max screaming in pain and desperation.
"Max." Liz whispering calmly.
"LIZ!" Max yelling once more.
"I'm sorry Max...." Liz's soft whisper.
"I thought it would be better for him if I told him goodbye." Liz finally looking up at me. Tears still in her eyes.
Goodbye?
Liz was telling Max goodbye?
"What are you sorry for Liz?" Max softer now.
"Liz?" Squeezing her arms lightly. "What are you talking about?"
This isn't making any sense.
"Where are you?" Max's voice coming once more.
Feelings of desperation and panic getting worst.
"LIZ!" Max.
"I love you Max." Past Liz whispering in distance.
Feeling a rush of warmth wash over me full of Liz's love.
"I loved him more than anything in this world. I just wanted him safe and happy. I thought if I told him goodbye that he would be able to let me go and be happy again one day." Liz whispering softly. "That he would just let me go."
One single moment I could feel love and relief.
"But he couldn't let go. He won't let me go." Liz shaking her head sadly. "Never let me go. Just holds on tighter." Liz disappearing from my sight and gasp.
"NO! LIZ! NO!" Max screaming.
"LIZ!" Matching Max's scream.
The feelings of Pain, love and unbinding fear rushing over and though me.
Knocking the breath out of me. Feeling as if all my nerves were on fire. Raw and exposed.
Instinctively pulling away. Closing my eyes tight.
Saving myself.
Soft touch on my arm as numbness slowly replacing the raw emotions and pain.
"It's OK Michael." Liz's soft voice filling my ears.
Feeling all emotions and feelings being pulled back. Being locked away into Liz.
Then nothing once more.
All feeling gone. Removed.
Turning slowly in circle alone in the nothingness once more.
"Liz?"
Where is she?
A new panic threatening to take over.
"LIZ!"
That emotion being pulled away too.
"Overwhelming isn't it." Looking down to see Liz once more beside me whispering. "The pressure. Feeling like you can't breath. Move. Everything is heighten. Everything that he feels. Wants. Needs. If your not careful you can drown in it. Losing yourself. It can be the most amazing and terrifying thing in the world."
"Liz? Honey?"
"I. I. I lost myself." Shaking her head no. "No, that's not right. They killed me. Ripped and tore it out until I was gone. And I died." Not looking at me.
"Liz. Your Ok. You didn't really die. Alec saved you. Remember?"
"I did die Michael."
"No. Alec saved you. Your out. Your safe. Your here safe right now." Squeezing her arms a little so she could feel me.
She's just confused.
Liz shaking her head. Tears slipping down her cheeks. "Not then Michael. I was dead before Alec. Don't you get it? Alec was too late..."
"Liz...."
Shaking her head no. "That night...."
"Liz don't."
You don't need to remember that.
"That night. What they did..." Liz's voice cracking.
"I know what happen was horrible..."
Cutting me off. "Horrible?" Looking up at me. "Words can't describe.. That night, What was left.. What small impossible part that could possibly be left. That did survive."
"Liz...." Feeling a lump form in my throat of the raw pain in her eyes.
"What small insignificant piece that was left. That last piece of innocent Liz Parker. He said. He would allow. Over and over." Swallowing. "No. I killed it."
"Liz." Shaking my head no.
"I took that scalpel and I cut deep." Holding out her wrist. Whispering. "Even if Max erased it. It's still there. It won't go away. It will never ever go away."
"Liz."
"I still did it. I wanted to die." Slight exstarical laugh.
"Liz." Shaking my head no once more.
Don't say that.
"I needed to die. Needed to stay dead." Liz grabbing the front of my shirt. Her desperation seeping through. "I don't know how to do this."
"Liz listen to me." Taking her by the arms once more as my vision blurred.
"I can't do this Michael. I can't be this person. Don't you see that? Don't you understand? Please. I killed her and I still have to be... They still need me to be."
"Lizzy." Feeling the tears slip down my cheeks as I blinked.
Liz talking faster. "What you see. What they want. I can't do this. Be this person. This Liz Parker. I don't know how to be this person anymore that he. That they. Want me to be. I want to be, but I can't. I can't. I killed her. She died. Now. Now, I'm drowning. Drowning in the emotions of what he. That they. Want me to be. To feel. Want me to feel."
Liz taking a sobbing breath. "I knew once. I did. How to be the perfect daughter, friend, girlfriend. I dressed the part. Said the lines. Perfect, sure to be valedictorian Liz Parker. Little small town nobody Liz Parker. I knew her life. What she wanted to be. Her hopes and dreams. I knew and watched her life as if it was someone else. Outside looking in at it. And now. The world has stopped. She's dead. Liz Parker is dead. And I know she is because I killed her. I killed her Michael. She couldn't. I couldn't deal. I gave up."
Taking in another breath.
"Lizzy."
"I gave up. After two years of fighting. Surviving. She faught. She never gave up. But I couldn't do it anymore. Not after. Oh god. And everyone knows. I killed her. Because she couldn't. How could she possible live and feel after that? And now. Now the world has stopped. Has frozen and I'm stuck. Stuck being this person who. I. I. I looking at in a mirror and see this person that I'm suppose to be but I'm not. I can't be. I. Can't. Don't you understand?"
"Liz..."
Shaking her head no again. "And I'm drowning. Overwhelmed by his touch. Feeling everything he wants and needs and feels. Everything that he."
Cry breaking through once more. "That they. Everyone knows what happened to me. Looking at me with such pity in their eyes. Like I'm this damaged animal. And. And. And they are right. I try to feel nothing. But. But I don't want to be like this. Can't be like this. I want to go back and be that person that everyone wants and needs me to be. Before. I want to go back to the before. I want to be with him. To feel the love and warmth wash over and through me. To forget everything else."
Taking another broken breath in her small body. Feeling her body shake more. " But I can't. Because I know it's not true. That its not safe for him. For them. You. I. I want. I. I. I don't know what to do Michael. I don't. I feel all this weight and pressure. Pushing. Just pushing. Never stopping. I remember everything and my head hurts all the time now. Pounding. Just pounding. And everyone is just watching. Frozen too. Just waiting for me to do something. Anything. And I can't. I just can't. I can only be numb and not move. I can't move. I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'm going to make the wrong choice. The wrong decision. And feel. Feel everything I can't and don't want to feel. So tell me. Just tell me what to do? Because it hurts so much and I'm so scared. Please. Please just tell me."
"Liz." Pulling Liz tight against my chest. Feeling her small body shaking. Feeling more tears slip down my face.
"Please. Please. Tell me what to do. What to say? Be? I'll do what I'm suppose to do. Just tell me. Just tell me. Tell me how to make it right. How to make it better. Please. Please Michael. Please. Just make it all stop." Sobbs racking through her body. "Please. Please. Just make it all stop. Make it go away. Please."
"Liz"
"Please Michael. Please."
Sorry to leave it there. Please let me know what you think. THANKS!
Dig my grave,
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.