Title: To Be Loved
Author: Alysia
Category: Alternate Universe
Couple(s): M/L, mentions of M/T, A/I and M/M
Summery: Max and Liz are together and in love, but like most things, it doesn’t last.
Author’s Note: When I started this, I intended for it to be a short fluff piece. Okay, so not so fluffy, but at least it’s still short. Italics represent flashbacks.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any characters familiar to Roswell.
“Marry me.”
Hearing the offhanded proposal, Liz Parker drew to a stop and raised an eyebrow at her companion. “Is that an order?”
Joining her stationary position, Max Evans rolled his eyes. “Come on,” he urged, grabbing both of her hands in his own. “Marry me.”
Her heart began pounding and her hands instantly began to sweat. She couldn’t deny the unadulterated burst of joy in her heart in that moment. She wanted nothing more than to agree, but her doubts kept her in check. Instead, she shook her head. “I’m going to pretend that I didn’t hear you,” she laughed off. They would ignore this, and soon it would be like he never proposed to her.
Max looked dumbstruck for a moment. He couldn’t fathom that she’d actually laughed off his proposal. Granted, they’d never discussed marriage, but standing with her down on Freemont Street in Las Vegas, he knew that he wanted her legally bound to him. He knew it was a rather chauvinistic view, but he didn’t like the idea that until they were married, men were aloud to make a play for her. She was his, just as he was hers. She was his missing piece, the one thing that made him whole. He wanted to hold on to that. “Why do you say that?”
When she looked in his eyes, she expected some sort of laughter there, but there was none. Instead, she found a looked of earnest that almost surprised her. “Why?” She repeated. Did he really not understand why she was caught so off guard? “How about the fact that we’ve only been together for like two months.”
“Two of the happiest months of my life,” Max replied, completely honest.
“It’s still only two months.”
Seeing a lock of hair that had fallen over into her face, Max gently placed it behind her ear and smiled brilliantly. He’d always loved her hair. Whenever she stayed the night at his place, he would stay up longer than her, just watching her sleep and running his hands through the silky strands. “So? We’ve been friends for four years,” he reminded her. He could vividly remember the first time that they’d met. It was right after a case, and he was in the lock room changing when she’d walked in.
“Wow.” The unfamiliar tone made Max jump from his thoughts. “If your front is as good as your back...” the last bit was whispered, but he’d heard it all the same.
Smirking, Max turned around, bare chested, his shirt in his hands. “I believe that’s sexual harassment.”
Liz pursed her lips. She’d only been in the building for half an hour and she’d already heard of the man before her. From what people told her, he was a great guy, playful and almost flirty with the females. She had been looking forward to meeting him, but this was so much better than what she’d anticipated. “Yes, judging by that smirk on your face, I can see you’re very offended.”
“You’re lucky you’re pretty.”
Liz laughed off the compliment. “Elizabeth Parker, but people call me Liz,” she greeted, extending her hand.
Taking it in his own, much larger one, Max nodded. “I’m Max.”
From then on, it’d been a beautiful friendship. The two clicked rather well, despite their major differences. While Liz was always friendly to the people she met and worked with, she turned rather shy when it came to the dating scene. Max, on the other hand, loved to date women. In fact, he’d gathered a bit of a reputation as a lady’s man, even though he never bragged about any of the women he’d dated. At work, they had their own little group of friends. Max, Liz, Alex Whitman and Michael Guerin. The four of them not only worked well with each other, became friends outside of work. Rather the three men were already friends by the time Liz joined them, but they’d welcomed her with open arms. They would often get together after work either at someone’s house or at their favorite bar and grill. Liz was one of the guys, and that became the problem for her.
“We’ve already met each other’s families,” he said, breaking Liz from her thoughts. “Hell, my mother adores you.”
Liz smirked at the thought. When she met Max’s parents, they’d treated her as though she’d been a friend of the family for years. She wasn’t sure what she’d done during their first meeting, but ever since then, Dianne always made sure to ask Max about her, even before they dated.
“We already know the important things about each other. I mean, I know it’s not possible to ever entirely know someone, but we’ve got a head start.” He was sure that whatever they didn’t know, they’d learn and deal as a couple.
“Max...” Liz trailed off, unsure of how she should proceed. “I...” On one hand, she’d harbored such deep feelings for him, long before he’d even asked her out. The past two months felt like a dream, as though it wasn’t right that she get what she want. On the other hand, this was her. She, who never had luck where romance was concerned. As happy as she’d been, she always felt as though she was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
It was that fear that kept her from asking the deep, life altering questions. Max had always dated around so much, she never thought he’d be one for marriage. She knew it was a bad judgement, but that was what the evidence that she’d seen provided her. When they got together, she wasn’t sure where they would go. She knew what she wanted from him, but she’d always been afraid to ask him. Until then, she thought he was happy with their arrangement, he had never even hinted that he wanted more. Which is why she was so surprised with his proposal.
“Max, where is this coming from?”
He shook his head sadly. “I spent so much time waiting for someone else, that I never realized what was right in front of me,” he explained, his voice full of sorrow.
Like that, a bitter taste entered her mouth as she thought of the someone else Max spoke of. It was a familiar taste, one she’d endured for far too long. She didn’t even hear the rest of Max’s declaration. Her thoughts were already tangled around something else.
Tess Valenti. Liz supposed she was polite enough. She was very friendly with Max, er, all men. She had curly platinum blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. What she lacked in height, she made up for in bra size. All together, she was a nice package for the men that Liz worked with to drool over...Max in particular.
The brunette watched Max, the man that she’d begun to harbor feelings for, lust after Tess for a year and a half. In the beginning, it stung. Liz, who actually noticed Max, appreciated him, was nothing more than a chum to him. As the days passed, the hurt faded and was replaced by annoyance. He’d been so hung up on the blonde woman, that he’d stopped dating all together, convinced that if she just gave him a chance, they’d be perfect for each other. Then, one day, things took a turn for the worst when Tess’ marriage crumbled and she separated from her husband. She was free to pursue and Max wasted no time in stepping in and offering to be a shoulder for her to cry on.
Liz was miserable and was forced to watch Max’s preoccupation with Tess morph into a twisted fairytale. One where Tess was the damsel in distress and Max was her knight in shining armor. Suddenly Tess was invited to hang out with the ‘guys,’ which included Liz. She was forced to see the couple at work and at home. When Liz reached her breaking point, she lashed out on Max.
“What’s your problem, Liz?”
“My problem? How could you even ask that?” How could he be so blind as to not notice her feelings? Alex noticed them, and she was sure that Michael was beginning to suspect something was off.
“You never tell me how you feel anymore, so how am I supposed to know what’s wrong?” He yelled, angry that she was mad at him. He’d done nothing wrong, he’d done nothing to her.
“Well, maybe if the times that I see you and you aren’t with your precious Tess, and you didn’t monopolize the time and talk about the wonder that his Tess Valenti, I’d be able to get a word in edgewise.” She knew she said too much, and judging by his raised eyebrows, she’d gone too far.
“So you’re...this is about Tess?” He sputtered, unable to believe that Liz was being such a woman about all this.
For once, she was glad that Max a oblivious to her feelings. She had not anticipated telling him about her lingering feelings for him in a fit of anger. “She’s still legally married, Max,” Liz replied, voicing her other concern for him. So far, it’d been three months since Tess announced she was separated from her husband, but it wasn’t legal in any way.
“They’re getting a divorce, she told me.”
Liz bit her bottom lip to stop the nasty words that were at the tip of her tongue. “Their separation isn’t even legal. Right now, they’re just on a break.”
Max blinked, not wanting to hear the truth of her statement. She didn’t need to know that she was picking at the insecurities that lay between Tess and himself. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I care about you, and I don’t want to see you hurt when she goes back to Kyle,” she finished, all anger drained away.
Max shook his head. “She wouldn’t do that. She loves me. I...appreciate her, I love her and Kyle...he doesn’t even care that she’s gone.”
Where did he get all his information from? Was Tess feeding it to him? Liz knew that was crap. Kyle may not have appreciated his wife when she was there, but Liz had seen him since they’d split. The pain that he obviously felt radiated off of him. It may have been over for Tess, but not for Kyle.
“I’ve said all I’m going to say to you today,” he spoke, a firm tone that Liz had never heard uttered in her direction. “You need to leave.” Without so much as looking at her, he held his front door open for her.
Liz shook her head, clearing their argument away. That had been the first serious fight that they’d ever had. Ironically, all of their fights were about his relationship with Tess. She remembered how crappy the rest of her day was. Maybe it had to do with her more than platonic feelings for Max, but she couldn’t stand the fact that he was angry at her. She still had her feelings, still knew that Tess was going to leave him in the dust when all was said and done, but she’d put her feelings aside. She would swallow her pride and be a friend to him.
That night, she’d walked back over to Max’s, thankful that he only lived four streets over. When she left her house, she had no idea if he was even home, and to make her night worse, it had started to rain. When she reached his house and spotted the familiar car, she ran to the door. She could still remember the look of shock on his face when he answered the door. She didn’t even notice that she was thoroughly soaked, instead she began speaking...apologizing to him for not supporting him. In the end, she let him know that she didn’t agree with his decision, but that he was still her friend and that she would keep her opinions to herself unless he asked for advice. The short conversation on her part seemed to appease Max, because he slowly began to lose the tense stance he’d had when he opened the door.
“Max, are you coming back to bed?” A voice purred, breaking the conversation between the two friends.
Liz closed her eyes before blinking rapidly. She wasn’t sure if it was just a reaction to her shock or if it was her way at keeping the threat of tears at bay. It was then that she realized the state of his undress, the pair of sweats that were hung precariously low on his hips, the unruly hair and the red, swollen lips. “Oh, god...” it was the only thing she could say. “I...” She looked to the woman peaking around the corner of Max’s hallway.
“Max, I’m getting cold, come warm me u...oh, hi Liz.”
Offering the woman a tight smile, Liz looked back to Max. “I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have come, I’m sorry.” Without waiting for Max to say a word, she swung around and headed back in the direction of her home. She ignored the rain as it pelted down on her, she felt numb to it.
The next day, she’d called into work, sick. Apparently when it was chilly outside and one spent a considerable amount of time in the rain, they were bound to catch a cold. When she did return to work, Liz put the night behind her and for that, Max seemed grateful. It wasn’t mentioned again between the two.
It was also the same week that she decided to work on getting over her feelings for Max. She shuffled them to the back of her mind and finally caved in. She’d done the unexpected, asking Michael and Alex to ask their respective better halves to set her up on blind dates. The next few months, Max lived in ignorant bliss with Tess, believing that she was going to divorce her husband to be with him and Liz dated around.
“Did you hear me?” Max asked, bringing her thoughts to the presence.
Pulling her hands away from his, she ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “You don’t have to propose to me because you feel guilty,” she denied. “It’s been a long time since your relationship with her ended, and I know that you love me...”
Sure enough, in the end, Tess broke Max’s heart by going back to Kyle. Liz tried to be a good friend to him and help nurse his broken heart, all the while itching to say ‘I told you so.’ It had taken a few months, but soon, it was as though the old Max was back. He went back to hanging out with the ‘guys’ and he started dating once again.
“Why won’t you let me propose to you?” Max asked, confused as to why Liz argued every point he made.
The sad look on her face almost broke his heart. “Because you don’t really mean it.”
Her words both wounded and stunned him. How could she say that? He knew that he wasn’t always the most artistic person when it came to grandeur expressions of love, but she had to know that his feelings were more than what she saw. “What?”
“You’ve always been impulsive in your decisions,” Liz explained. “I don’t want this to be something that you look back and regret. When...if we get married, I want it to be because of our love for each other, not a stupid, romantic whim.”
“I want you to be my wife,” Max replied in a soft voice.
Smiling sadly, Liz raised a hand to his cheek. “If you want me now, you’ll want me later...after you’ve thought about this more.” She would be honored to marry Max and be his Mrs. Evans, but she needed to make sure that this was something that he truly wanted.
Realizing that no matter what he said, Liz wouldn’t budge on the subject, Max decided to drop the matter...for the time being. Instead, he pulled her closer and kissed her. “I do love you, Liz.”
Slightly pulling away from him, Liz nodded. “I know. I never questioned that you did.” With that, she snuggled back up to him. The two began swaying to the music that filtered out of the various speakers that lined the covered street. “I love you too.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Usually when someone proposed and was rejected, Liz knew that the relationship was over. Since that wasn’t the case with them, Liz insisted that they return to their hotel. There, she reinforced the fact that she wasn’t rejecting him. That night as they made love, they worshiped each other. Liz gave him everything she had and Max responded to every kiss and caress as though she was a treasure to behold. It was the most passionate experience that either had ever had, and they were thankful that they shared it with each other.
“So, I guess you want to get married...” Liz began as they cuddled together.
“I would love to marry you,” Max replied in all honesty. He pulled her even closer to his body and kissed the top of her head.
“I never thought...” she trailed off, not sure if her words would offend him.
“You never thought what?” He coaxed.
Liz maneuvered so that she was on her stomach. “I never thought that you were the marrying type.”
“To be honest, I never thought that I would get married.” Growing up he never thought about marriage. It didn’t matter that his parents had an ideal marriage by today’s standard. To him, there were so many women out there that he couldn’t imagine settling down with just one.
“What changed that?”
“I...you. I began to see you in a different light,” he answered, his voice raw with emotion. “I dated women, but none of them captivated my attention. Sure, the company was nice, but I hadn’t ever met anyone that I could see myself growing old with. And then I met Tess.”
Liz’s body tensed up. She wanted to pull away from in that moment. This was one of those ‘things’ that Max mentioned earlier, that they would learn about each other.
Sensing her hesitation, Max placed a restricting arm around her to hold her in place. While Liz had never said anything, he knew that even still, she felt intimidated by Tess. “When I was with her, I honestly thought I was in love with her.” He made sure that he held her gaze, “and when I finally noticed you, I realized that I was wrong.” His words seemed to stop Liz in her place, and his hold on her relaxed. “After we broke up, I missed her presence. It wasn’t so much that I missed her as it was the things that I missed that I had when I was with her. Somewhere along the way, the things that I thought I wanted, changed.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“I was afraid that if I did, that I would end up changing my mind and hurt you in the process. The truth is, I’m crazy about you. I want to grow old you with you.”
“And what about children?” It wasn’t a pressing matter for Liz at the moment. She didn’t need to have them right away, but so long as they were in her future, she would be happy. As much as she loved Max, she didn’t know what he would do if he didn’t want any.
Max shrugged indifferently, that was yet another thing that changed. “I’ll take as many as I can get.”
“You mean it?” Liz asked, happy with the direction of their conversation.
“I want it all, Liz. I want it with you. Do you remember when I started dating after Tess and I broke up?”
Liz rolled her eyes. “Yes, you were more of a slut than you were before her?”
“I was not a slut, and contrary to popular belief, I didn’t sleep with every girl I ever took out on a date.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
“Anyway,” he said, pointedly. “I just remembered how pointless they all were, because no one had what I was looking for. In hindsight, I didn’t even know what I was looking for, all I knew was that they didn’t have it. Do you know why I dated you?”
Liz frowned in the topic jump. Instead of questioning it for long, she answered his question. “Because you didn’t want anyone else to have me?”
“Well, that was part of it,” he replied honestly. “I told you this...didn’t I?”
Liz shook her head. “Never.”
“We were all trying to get back to normal once I started hanging out with you guys again, and I was slowly realizing that somewhere along the way, things changed. It was when you were dating that guy. What was his name? Doug...Shallow?”
Again, Liz rolled her eyes. “You know very well what his name was, Max Evans. Doug Shellow.”
“Liz?” Max asked, surprised by the small black dress she was sporting. Max had never seen Liz dress up, even at Christmas parties. She liked to keep things casual. It wasn’t that he never considered Liz a woman, he had just never considered Liz. She had always been just one of the guys, his friend, who was always there when he needed her. In the past month though, he noticed that she wasn’t there as much as she used to be, and that was what he was hoping to talk to her about.
Leaving her door open, Liz walked away trying to fasten her remaining earring. “What’s up, Max?”
“You look enchanting.”
Stopping her movement, Liz looked at him. She’d heard many compliments come out of Max’s mouth, but never had they been for her. She’d never seen him look at her that way, and it was making her uncomfortable. “Oh, I’m glad you’re here.”
“Oh?”
Liz rushed into her bedroom, coming out a second later with a strand of pearls in her hand. “I was going to ask Doug to help me with this, but since you’re here...” she stopped at the mirror that hung on her living room wall. “Would you mind?”
“Sure.” Taking the necklace, he waited for Liz to gather her hair up.
Liz took the opportunity to study her companion in the reflection of the mirror and the butterflies that she once felt whenever she looked at him, returned to full force. Wow, when did her attraction to him return?
When Max finished, he spotted her gaze through the mirror and met it. He didn’t even notice when his hands that had been rested on her shoulders, trailed down her arms. Liz did, though, not able to keep the goosebumps from forming. “Max?”
“Hmmm?”
“You wanted to talk? Or I assume you did, since you’re here...”
Max nodded. “I...yeah, I did.”
The butterflies she felt in her stomach intensified. This was a new, and welcome twist. Max being under the same spell as her... “Okay, what?”
It took a moment for Max to respond, but when he did, it was the last thing that she ever anticipated on hearing. “I can’t believe I never noticed how beautiful you were.”
Blushing, Liz shook her head. “Uh, thanks?” She asked. “It’s still me under here. Tomorrow, I’ll be back to plain old Liz.”
Pulling her around to face him, Max shook his head. “You aren’t old and you certainly aren’t plain.”
“Max, are you okay?” Liz asked, worried about him. “You aren’t acting like yourself.”
“I’m fine,” he replied. “I just feel like I’m seeing for the first time...”
Before Liz could question him on it, there was a knock on the door. “That’s Doug. I should...go.”
Max only nodded. Still, neither moved from their position until another knock, this one more persistent, sounded.
“I wasn’t sure what I felt at that moment, but I knew that I didn’t want it to go away. The only problem was, it only happened around you...and, you didn’t make it easy on me,” he observed.
“Why would I have? I had to watch you fawn all over Tess, I was unlucky enough to see you in the aftermath of your first time with her, all while I was harboring feelings for you.” She kept her voice light, but the truth was still there.
Max winced. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice you sooner.” If he wasn’t a complete bonehead, they might have gotten together sooner and had a chance to spend more time together.
Leaning over, Liz kissed him. “No regrets, remember?”
“I remember.” The two traded kisses for a few minutes before things ignited between them and another round of lovemaking was under way. “That night, after I left your place, I went home and started looking through pictures. Everything felt so...different. You were always on dates and it wasn’t the same with just Michael and Alex. I stared at your pictures, and I noticed us together, and how much sense we made. Then I noticed a picture of you. Actually, it was of me and Tess, but you were in the back ground, and the look on your face...you were always there. I was just too stupid to realize it.”
“Max...”
“I was so lucky to have you in my life,” he continued on as though he hadn’t heard her. “I’m even more lucky now to have you the way that I do.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Turned out, that Max’s proposal wasn’t on a whim, Liz just assumed it was. The next day, he tried again, that time, with another tactic. He handed her over a box, about the size of a shoe box. On the outside, he’d decorated it, using pictures that he’d copied onto fabric and then fastened it, something he admitted his mother helped him make. Inside, it was full of tiny notes, ranging from the things that he loved about her, to the top dates they’d had, his favorite lovemaking moments, fifty different ways of saying ‘I love you’. Pictures of them were also sprinkled in. Liz nearly broke into tears, but it was the last thing, that was her undoing. At the bottom of the box, the found a piece of paper folded and then taped up. When she unwrapped it, a ring fell out into her lap.
“Marry me?”
“Yes!”
Liz threw her arms around him and pulled him down on the bed with her. The mementoes were forgotten when clothes were shed and they celebrated in the next step of their journey.
They decided later that day, that they didn’t want to wait. Both knew that their parents would be mad and that their mothers would be hurt, but they couldn’t wait to be married. Since they were already Vegas, they went down to get a license and then went to the nearest chapel. It may not have been the most romantic of places, but it was the most romantic moment in their lives. Liz didn’t even mind not wearing a long, flowing dress. Max was all she needed and wanted, and if their parents wanted, they could always have another ceremony in Roswell for their families and friends. It was the happiest days of her life.
“I finally put your proposal in a book,” Liz Evans said in a wistful tone. Some days it seemed as though they’d gotten engaged and had a shotgun wedding just a day before, when in reality it had been seven months. “I know that you said not to, but I didn’t want all those love notes to be ruined with age. At least this way it can stave off time.” Running her hands tenderly over the book, a lone tear traveled down her cheek. “It’s even more precious to me now than ever before.”
Bringing her head up, Liz stared at the headstone. She tried to keep the tears at bay, but when a sob was torn out of her throat, she gave up the battle. Tears cascaded down her cheeks, but she didn’t bother to wipe them away.
“Some days are easier than others. God, is that horrible to say? You’re my husband and you aren’t with me anymore. That should always be difficult. God, I don’t mean that I don’t think of you, because you’re on my mind all the time. Everything I do, I keep you with me, afraid that if I don’t think of you that I’ll forget you. Not that I ever could. You were always unforgettable, even when I tried to forget you.”
She noticed a single rose, it was fairly fresh, so she knew that Dianne Evans had been there within the last day or so.
“Alex and Isabel are getting married, and I don’t know how I feel about that. I mean, I’m happy for them...obviously, but I’m so jealous. I look at them and Michael and Maria and I just want to know why. Why are they allowed to be together? What did they do that I didn’t? Was I bad person in my last life and he decided to punish me in this one? Is that why you were taken from me? I feel so empty sometimes, and I just want you back. It’s so unfair, that you were ripped from this life so early, that we were robbed from having a life together.” Taking a breath, Liz tried to calm herself. “People keep telling me that it’s going to get better and that the tears will stop, but it doesn’t seem to get better. Everyday that passes just seems to get more hard and I feel even more robbed than before.”
Maxwell Phillip Evans
1980-2008
Beloved son, husband and friend
Liz placed her hand on her bulging belly. “If I knew that I was pregnant when we had your headstone carved, I would have added ‘father.’ This baby was my saving grace. Without him, I’d just be existing. The most precious gift that anyone ever gave me, and you never even knew. Sometimes it hurts so bad, that you aren’t there to feel him kick and go to the doctors, that you won’t be there to experience the joy of being a father. Our son, Maxwell Phillip Evans II, who instead of knowing his father, will only know of him through pictures and stories. I bet you could imagine how my news affected your mother...pretty much the same way that I reacted...I told you all this. She’s been really supportive, your dad too.” While she still had her mother, and she loved her for everything she did, Liz shared a special bond with Dianne. They lost Max, but by this miracle, they had a piece of him, something that helped both women exponentially. “This will probably be the last time I come visit. My due date’s rapidly approaching and it’s getting so difficult to walk all this way to your grave site, but it won’t be for too long. I’ll be back before your know it, and next time I’ll have our child with me. I hope he looks just like you, I even hope he has your ridiculous ears. It’s been so long since I looked into those beautiful amber eyes.”
Standing up, Liz grabbed kleenex out of her purse and wiped her tears away.
“I miss you, I miss you everyday. I can’t wait to see you again, Max. You’ll be there won’t you? For his birth? And all the other important moments too?” She closed her eyes, wishing that she could hear his voice one last time. She imagined his face in her mind, the serene smile on his face and in that moment she felt like she could do anything. She felt stronger, in a way.
Turning around, she took what was the first step, of the rest of her life. She would see him again one day, of that she was sure. Liz supposed that their road just parted ways, but only for a short while in the realm of things. She would never understand why he was taken away from her, but she would do her best to make sure that his son knew what a great man he was and how much he was loved. She would concentrate on her son and find her happiness in him, and when the time came, she would happily return to Max’s waiting arms.
To Be Loved (1/1, M/L, teen) 1/9/09 [COMPLETED]
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To Be Loved (1/1, M/L, teen) 1/9/09 [COMPLETED]
Last edited by LysCat on Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
Walter: "I used this to extract information from a corpse once. You can do that if they've been dead up to six hours."
Peter: "Yeah, cause after six hours they're REALLY dead."
Peter: "Yeah, cause after six hours they're REALLY dead."