Rating: CHILD
Disclaimer: Don’t own Roswell. Never will. I’m still dreaming.
I don’t own the song “One sweet day”, by Mariah Carey & Boyz II Men, either.
Summary: Um... this is angsty.
After Liz’s death, Max was left with their two kids, but he still sees her, and talks to her about how empty his life has gotten, but how he still has their children to keep him going on. This may seem sappy or weird, but it is simply a story of faith and love.Author's Notes: Ok people, please go easy on me... this was my first Roswell fanfiction story ever, I wrote it back in 2003, so it’s kind of trashy, even though my intentions were good.
I had thought of posting the story here on RF, but only now I finally decided to do it. The plot is very sad, but it was just a sudden idea I had and I thought it was beautiful and tragic enough to be a M/L story. 
I aprecciate (kind!) feedback. 
If you aren’t liking – or didn’t like – the story, don’t bother to read it any further, or review. Thanks! **
Max was already 30. And his life would never be the same again... since he had lost Liz, his life didn't seem to make sense anymore. The only thing that still gave him strenght and courage to face every day were his children. The two kids he had had with Liz, and that were the only thing that reminded him of her, that were a way of saying that their love was still alive and that would be unbreakable, unforgettable.
Of course that he still had his friends. Michael, Maria and Alex were still his greatest source of support, friendship and joy, without wanting anything back - his dear friends, and also his sister Isabel, who'd show up without saying anything, who helped him raising his kids, moving heaven and earth to try to give them a normal and happy childhood, where they could think the less possible about not having their mother anymore. Still, Max thought they were relatively happy children, and he thanked God every day for their life that was being so reasonable and for the fact that, unless their mother's death, they hadn't had major sorrows until then. But when he looked at his children, he would always end up remembering Liz - and suffering inside... He never cried in front of his kids, but when he was alone, he could do what he used to since Liz’s death, one year ago...
"Liz", he whispered. "Why aren't you here?"
A gold flash shone in front of him, and he could see Liz's sweet brown eyes looking at him with tenderness. She was an angel, and he used to see her. He knew it wasn't only his imagination, and he never said it to anyone, not even his friends. He knew Liz was the guardian angel of the family, now that she had left, and that she was always there, protecting their children and him.
Liz's expression was sympathetic and tender.
"Why are you still like that?", she asked with sweetness. "You know I don't want you to feel the way you do... a lot of time has gone by... you can't be constantly like that. You've got to look after our children. You've got to look after yourself".
Max had a tear rolling down his cheek that he didn't bother to wipe away.
«Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away
"Liz", he whispered again. "I... I haven't gotten over you still. I... I can still feel you and hear you everyday. The way you kissed me... the way you used to call Lily and Adam up in the morning to school... the way you used to sing to them when they were babies... I remember everything, and I can't erase it. I never will. 'Cause I... I still love you, Liz. Since the very first day".
"I love you too, Max", she tenderly replied. "More than you could ever know."
"So why did you have to leave us?!", Max asked, nearly in tears.
Liz sweetly got closer to him and held Max's head close to her chest. He couldn't feel her, but he knew she was there.
"It was something that none of us could prevent", she softly replied. "You know it was... but you know that I'm always here, looking after you, looking after our children. Don't you ever forget that. Don't you ever doubt it, Max".
Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive
"I know that, Liz", Max replied in a low voice. "But I just can't accept it yet... not yet. It's so hard for me, to look at our bed and know that you won't be lying down next to me anymore. It's so hard to know that I won't ever listen to your voice talking to our children before they would fall asleep, like you used to do, ever... It's so hard, Liz! Sometimes I think that Lily and Adam have gotten over it sooner that I have, but... I know that they're still very little, but I don't think that they've forgotten you. I think Adam misses you more. Lily doesn't talk about it much, but I know you two were very close... sometimes I catch her playing with the doll you gave her on her 6th birthday, remember?"
"Sure", Liz softly answered with a smile. "We played with that doll so much... I used to say that that was a special doll made just for her, because it had that pretty blonde hair, just like hers..."
"And sometimes", Max went on, "It seems to me that, through that doll, Lily wants to talk to you. That makes me think that she hasn't forgotten you. And that she never will. Sometimes Adam still cries. And in those moments, I just don't know what to do, because all I want to do is cry with him... it's so hard without you here helping us, Liz".
"You know, Max", she said. "Maybe the time that has gone by wasn't enough yet. But all this pain, all these wounds - someday they will heal. I know you and the kids will never forget me. But it will come a day where everything will seem less heavy... and that you will see the sun shine like you used to... one day your joy and happiness will come back. Slowly, but they will."
"I'm afraid, Liz", Max confessed. "Afraid that I might have become a bitter man forever. Afraid that I may not raise our kids like they deserve, because I'm always stuck on these reminiscences... because I'm still stuck on you. I don't tell this anyone, not even Michael or Maria. I think that maybe they would understand... they have done so much for me and for the kids... but for now it's something I feel I have to carry by myself".
"That is pretty normal", Liz said, caressing his hair. "But like I said, one day all this burden will become lighter and lighter, until it disappears - or nearly. But now, I want to know more about Lily and Adam. About our children. How are they?"
Lily was older than Adam. She was 8, and Adam was 6, nearly 7. Lily looked a lot like her aunt Isabel - she had her light blonde hair and hazel eyes, a cold beauty and mysterious eyes. Liz was her best friend, and although she was very close to her father, with her mother's death Lily would never be the same child again. Lily was never a very extroverted child, but with Liz's death she become even shier. She didn't talk much and she never said a word about her mother's passing although, like Max had noticed, sometimes she did seem to be trying to communicate with her. Even though she was going through a very fragile moment over her short life, Lily was very careful with her brother, always looking after him, behaving like a mother – like Liz.
Adam was just like Liz, which made Max remember her even more. His hazelnut eyes, his dark hair and his sweet expression had showed that Liz had left someone just like her on earth. He was more fragile than his sister, and he missed his mother even more, showing it with little things everyday.
Looking at Lily and Adam, no-one would say they were brother and sister. But, in the eyes of the ones who already knew them, there was a connection that not everyone could see, an invisible connection between them that made them become even closer, sharing a relationship very rare between siblings, even twins - a sort of telepathy, but more powerful.
Liz looked at Max's expression.
"Is there anything wrong with them, Max?", she asked.
"I've told you before", Max replied. "But I think... something is happening to them. Sometimes I think... Lily more than Adam... that she's getting like me".
"I've seen it", Liz nodded. "And I've realized that Lily and Adam... they aren't 100% normal kids. They have a very special and powerful connection, relationship. First I thought Adam was human... like me... but now... I think that they really are getting like you, Max. And Michael and Isabel. But it is something that only time will tell".
Max nodded, his head down.
Liz made him raise his head and face her, grasping his chin sweetly.
"But I want to know - how are them? Not mentioning what you've just said... Are they okay? Are they... happy?"
Max managed to smile. Yes, talking to Liz about their children was one of the things that could leave his heart a little bit lighter. Along with Liz, Lily and Adam were the people he loved the most in the whole world.
"Michael and Maria took them to the Zoo today", he told her. "Maria said that they were needing to have some fun. She said that they might go to the movies and eat some ice-cream after... Jamie went with them. You know how much Lily and Adam love him... it's just like he was a cousin to them, or maybe... a brother..."
Liz smiled.
"Maria is being their mother. The best mother they could ever wish for... maybe even better than me... now that I'm not here anymore..."
"No, Liz", Max firmly interrupted. "Don't say that. You know it's not fair. No one can ever replace you. No one is ever going to be a better mother than you have been to our children. No one."
Liz smiled again and went on.
"I've always trusted her. I love her as a sister and I know she will take good care of Lily and Adam as if she was me. She looks after them as if they were of her own, like Jamie. I am so thankful that they've got her and Michael right now..."
"Michael said that Sunday he'll take Adam and Jamie to the baseball", Max went on. "And Maria is going to go shopping with Lily. Isabel said that maybe she would go with them. You know... they're all women, so..."
Liz laughed.
"Lily each day looks more like with your sister, Max", she said.
Max nodded.
"Yeah. She does."
Liz got closer to him again and kissed his forehead.
"I have to go now", she whispered.
"Why?!", he immediatly asked, jerking away.
"Because I need to", Liz replied, always with the same softness.
"You will come back, won't you?", Max asked looking at her like a little boy.
She smiled.
"Even if I don't", she said. "You know I'll always be here".
"I wish I could go with you", Max revealed helplessly.
Liz held him softly but firmly.
"Shh... don't say that, Max. You know you can't. Your place is down here. You have to take care of Lily and Adam. They have Maria and Michael... but they need you. And sooner or later, you will need them. You can't talk of leaving, Max. You have to stay here. It's your fate."
"Alright. Go. But Liz... I'll be here waiting. I'll be here waiting for you to come back again. Meanwhile, I'll be watching our kids grow... but I know you're here with me. Just promise me you’ll come back".
Liz smiled.
"I'll always be here, Max, even if you don’t see me. I'll be watching you and the children. I'll be watching you when you're working. I'll be watching Lily and Adam when they're at school, or when they're on the playground, or when they go out, or when Lily is at the ballet classes. I'll always be here, and I'll never leave you alone. I'll be always watching over you, and Lily and Adam. I swear. But remember, Max, even when the sky is gray, the sun is always there, and it will eventually shine. You'll have to remember this when you don't see me. I don't want you to drown into these blues. Promise me, Max."
"I promise, Liz", he whispered. "And I'll look after our children, I swear. I won't let you down, Liz, never."
"I know you won't. I trust you.", Liz smiled. Then she leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. "Goodbye."
"I love you.", Max whispered.
"I love you too, Max.", Liz said. She smiled and, in a gold flash, she disappeared.
Chorus-And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Darling I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared
{Chorus}
Although the sun will never shine the same again
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray
{Chorus}
Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say ... »
** THE END **
