Title: Too Little Too Late
Author:Mcherron(Lissalou72)
Rating: Adult
Couples: Max and Liz
Summary: Well everything happen up to right up to Max dropping off Liz at the Cashdown in Departure. There are a few changes that I put in there. Liz went to Max's house before he left.....But that is all I can tell you without giving to much away.
Disclaimer: Roswell and the Characters in this story are not mine. Just borrowing them for the time being.
Author Notes: I would like to thank my wonderful friends who gave me the support that I need to finish and complete this fic…It was something that was floating in my head one day and I just thought it would be fun to write.
It you don't like the NC-17 part I marked it in red so you can skip that part. I know some readers don't like it.
Selena you gave me in inspiration to write this. I couldn’t have done it with out you. I beta your stuff and you are such an awesome writer. I got the idea off the new ones that you sent me…This is for you girl…*smooches* You make me believe in myself. Ohhh everyone Selena saved my from deleting the whole all together….
Tuesday you are the greatest friend one could ever ask for. You always give me the power to think I can do it. I tried out this NC-17 part to see if I can even do it…whew it was hard….But you were there helping me along the way…Thank you
Pooh you are one of the other reason I tried hard in the NC-17 part I know for sure it’s not as great as yours but at least I gave it a shot…
Heather thank you for being there and read some parts and giving me the support I needed…You are great
Mary I posted it tonight because I knew that you were going to be very busy this weekend and I knew you wanted to see it. Love ya….
Cam…many thanks for you and everyone else who gave me the words of encouragement. Cam thank you for being a kickass beta and getting this back to me so quickly.
Ok there is going to be some NC-17 parts in here and I hope that it doesn’t suck too badly. This is my first time trying out with writing Aliens in a fic so if it’s bad I’m very sorry. I love feedback so please let me know what you think of this fic…Many thanks…..
Also everyone I would like to give a huge thank you to Selena for making this awesome banner….
Here is the link to the First Tag that I have done for this Fic. Its an Isabel POV. Its Called Lost Without You
viewtopic.php?t=9318
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Too Little Too Late
As I walk away from the Jeep I can feel myself doubting that I can just walk away from the only man that I’ve ever loved. I just want to scream so loudly. It feels as if my heart is being ripped out slowly with a dull spoon. I quickly open the Crashdown doors and shut it just as fast. I try to take the next step but my feet feel like lead weights. I can feel the panic bubbling up in me.
He just told me that he is going to leave tonight for Antar. Was that right? Or was I just hearing things? Somewhere deep down I always knew that this day might come, but I always thought I would be standing there right next to him.
I was so wrong, and it’s my entire fault. I should have never messed with the future. Future Max was so wrong in thinking that changing everything would make it everything alright. I want to hate him and myself because of what I did Alex is dead and the only man that I’ve ever loved slept with Tess. That wicked witch of a person, she got what I always wanted…..MAX….
I still can’t move from the door not when there’s a chance that Max just might come to the door telling me that it’s all a mistake. That Tess and him were just playing around with everyone. I hold my breath waiting and hoping to feel Max just behind the door. I think that I stood there for a good half an hour waiting.
I couldn’t stop the tears and heartache anymore. My knees finally gave out. So, here I am sitting on the Crashdown Café floor crying my eyes out because I lost Max. I feel this emptiness in me that is just unbearable. I really don’t think I can live without Max. I can still feel the connection that I have with Max and I’m too scared to see what will happen if that connection is completely cut off.
I drag my butt off the ground and slowly crawl to the stairs that leads up to my apartment. I creep slowly all the while painfully knowing that Max didn’t come back for me. I can still feel the kiss on my lips. That was the last kiss that I’m ever going to get from the man I love….My soul mate….
I finally reach the top of the stairs and I can’t believe that I’m in this state. I knew that in away I brought all of this upon myself. I did push Max and Tess together. It was the right thing to do right? I’m starting to doubt that all together now…There is this killer out here and Max and the others are leaving…So, now what?
Do us poor sorry human folk stay here just waiting to be killed off? I can feel my head spinning with regret. I slowly open the door and the first thing that my eyes find is my favorite pictures, one of me and Max that Maria took and the other one is of Alex, Maria and me together. How could I let our group fall apart?
I slowly close my eyes remembering the last day we were all together it was one of the happiest times for our little Alien/Human group. I still have that Prom picture of all of us together. Alex and Isabel were so happy. I haven’t seen Alex so happy. Isabel and Alex were finally giving in to their feeling that they kept hidden for so many years.
Maria night started off bad but then Michael actually surprised her and showed up. He actually took dance classes to show Maria how much he really wanted to try and be there for her. That was a huge step for Michael I think.
Then there was Kyle and Tess…I haven’t seen Kyle so excited to do anything in a long time. Ever since he been shot and saved by an Alien he went to the next extreme. At football camp he found the all knowing Buddha, and the suddenly he was drive us all crazy with his Buddha talk…. Tess looked like she was having a great time with Kyle.
Then there was Max and I….I was so happy to see Max. I knew that I’d wanted to tell him the total true about Kyle and me. I wanted to in so many ways to just scream the truth out to him. To yell at him that I’d never slept with Kyle….But, it was for the best right? By the end of prom I found my date kissing Tess. That is when I thought that maybe I just need to let go. My heart wasn’t in to seeing them kiss but what right did I have to say anything. Max thought that I slept with Kyle.
I walk over to pick up the prom picture with tears in my eyes. I see how much everyone is happy even me for a brief second. The next day is where it went all wrong. I will never forget that day. That moment in my life when looking back on you remember every small detail and notice everything. Everything had started falling apart between the group we had.
I can still hear the haunting words…….Alex is dead……It’s like a nightmare gone bad…very bad. I couldn’t even feel anymore, right after that I went numb. My whole life fell apart. It wasn’t supposed to end with Alex dead. I remember Future Max telling me that Alex was at our wedding. Why? Why him? Why couldn’t I just rewind back to that night that Future Max ruined my life?
Did he know what the outcome was going to be? Did he know that by ripping out my heart time and time again would result into my family and friends getting hurt? I had to stand there and tell the one person that I would risk my whole life for that I wouldn’t die for him. How could I live with myself after that? I had to lie to my Max over and over again that night. I even swallowed my pride and talk to Tess trying to give her pointers on how to win over Max. And still nothing would work.
All Future Max would say was that I wasn’t trying enough while the whole time all I wanted to do was scream at him, ‘Go Away…Please find someone else to do your dirty work.’ Why was it me that has to live without happiness? After he told me that Michael had died in his arms right before he came out here and that Isabel had died two nights before I saw the reason in his eyes. He was simply desperate. He was doing what he thought was right in his eyes.
I did the only thing I thought was inexcusable for anyone in any relationship. So I called Kyle and came up with a plan, a plan to rip my heart out and destroy Max all in one night. I couldn’t believe that I agreed to make Max think that I gave up myself to Kyle. I always knew that Max would be my first for everything but I ruined that for myself that night. When I saw his face through the window I thought that my heart had just died right there.
I could see the pain in his eyes and the hatred in his face. It was like I let him down which I did in a way. I didn’t want it to be like that. I didn’t want him to think that I did the unthinkable with another person. He should know that me making love to anyone other then him is wrong……A lie. I did more damage that night then any other Alien conquest or adventure we ever did as a group. A part of me died that night watching Max leave my window.
I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I wanted to just die right there on the floor. I was praying that maybe by chance the floor would open up and swallow me whole. I knew that I couldn’t face Max again. Then I heard Future Max telling me that it worked….I wanted to rip my heart out and hand it to him, and tell him to take it because I have no use for it now. I’m broken without Max. I have nothing now……But I went on knowing that maybe I just saved Michael and Isabel…..and maybe the whole world…So I had to keep this a secret…Like he said…
As I stand here looking around my room feeling nothing but pain I really don’t think it was worth it. I think that maybe Future Max was wrong in his information. I could only wish….
I look at the prom picture one more time I get so angry at it because it wasn’t suppose to end up with Alex dead and everyone fighting. We’re just teenagers who should be worried about ordinary things like clothes and what colleges we are going to get into, but not for us. I start crying all over again. Dropping the frame picture on the floor I run over to my secret hiding place where I keep my journal hoping that there are some answers in there. There has to be something that I missed from a long time ago that could maybe help.
I’m starting to feel numb again. I look at my hand surprised to see that I’m still holding onto the necklace Max gave me. It was the one that we found one day during one of our adventures….One of our first. This is all I have left of Max. I can’t do this…I have to see Max and tell him what I feel. I need my heart back I can’t let him leave without it becoming whole again. I can’t just sit back and let Tess take control over me. I know in my heart that Max still loves me. I can still feel him…It’s like my body is calling out to him.
I reach over and grab my jacket. I still have my journal in hand and run out the door. I need to see him just one more time to feel him and hold him before he leaves forever. I can feel my heart starting to pound against my chest as I run down the street. My hair is blowing in the wind as I run. I can feel my legs burning and my lungs straining for oxygen. I am getting excited and scared all at once as I see his house around the corner.
I reach his window and lightly knock pray to all the Antarian gods that Tess isn’t there right now. I know that his parents are away on a business trip. So, this is my big chance to see him one last time just him and me. I can’t think about what I want to do. I just want to do it. Not really sure of what made me come here, but it’s just what my heart wanted. I think for the first time that I’m following my Grandma Claudia’s advice. I’m doing what my hearts want and this is what mine really wants….MAX.
I feel the window open and I look up into Max’s eyes. I know right then and there that I made the right choice. I really need this….
“Max, don’t say a thing I don’t want you to try and tell me not to do this. I need you just for one night I need my heart and soul just this one time without any thought.”
He reaches over and pulls me up into the room with him. I hang on to him and start crying all over again. I love these strong arms and his chest. How am I supposed to let him leave? I shake these thought right out of my head as I reach down to the hem of his shirt and slowly pull it off.
I slowly start kissing his neck working my way down his hard chest. I still can’t stop the tears falling. I feel Max lift my shirt over my head and I help him by lifting my arms. I can feel him kissing my shoulders and neck ever so sweetly. I can feel the chills forming all over my body. I love that feeling that he is doing to me. It’s like all my nerves are at attention when Max is around. I feel like I’m melting into a puddle of Liz goo. I feel my legs starting to give out. Max quickly picks me up and slowly puts me down on the bed.
He is standing there in front of me. I reach out and grab the button to his jeans. I almost thought that he was going to stop me but he stands there like a good boy. I pull the zipper carefully. I see that Max is already hard waiting and ready for me. I slowly pull down his jeans with his boxers at the same time. ‘WOW’ I say quietly to myself as I see his big straining manhood looking at me straight in my eyes. Shit, Max is Huge…
I slowly reach out for him wanting to know what it felt like. I wrap my hand around his throbbing manhood. WOW my hand must be really tiny compared to his penis. I want to know what it tastes like so I quickly stick the head of his penis in my mouth. I’m not to sure at what I’m doing and I don’t want t o hurt him. I slowly move downward hearing him hiss my name…oh I love the power I have to make him moan. I start moving down and taking him in as far as I can go.
I feel his large hands running through my hair. I know that Max has a thing for my hair. He always wanted to run his fingers through it or simply touch it in someway or form.
I start moving my hand up and down not too sure on what I’m doing.
“Max, show me what you like.”
With those few simple words he grabs my hand ever so softly and shows me the right rhythm he likes. As my hand works I take the head of his wondrous maleness into my hot mouth and start sucking. I can hear Max’s moan making me move in a faster motion. I can feel my self getting hotter by the moment. I feel like my whole body is on fire.
The only way to stop the burning is Max. I reach down with my other hand and gently grab his balls and caress them. I can feel his penis jump in my mouth as I suck a little hard.
“Liz….Please I need you to slow down or stop because I …..Feel like I’m going to come soon.”
As I hear that I quicken the pace I want to feel what its like to have Max come in my mouth. I can feel his balls contract as I feel warm slightly salty cum shooting in the back of my mouth sliding down my throat. Wow I really like that and I thought that it was going to taste a lot worse then it really did. Hmm I might have to do that again before he leaves. It’s very addicting.
“Liz you didn’t….”
I put my finger up to Max’s mouth. “No words….Just actions.”
I stand up unbuttoning my jeans and slowly pulling off my panties with them. I throw them off to the side along with my shirt and Max’s clothes. I lay down waiting for Max to snap out of it. I look at him wondering what he is thinking about. I grab his arm to get his attention and I pull him towards me.
As soon as our lips touch I feel like my body starting to melt into Max’s. I feel his large hand wandering down my chest softly creeping its way to my left breast. He is wrecking havoc to my body and its senses. All I can think of is that I love what he is doing and I never want him to stop.
He moves away from my lips and starts to kiss my neck and is working his way down. I moan ever so softly as one of my hands work their way down to his throbbing penis. I start rubbing him the way I know that he likes.
His kisses are driving my crazy as he works his way down to my breast. He slowly takes one of them into his hot mouth. The hot sensation instantly gets me wetter. My hands work their way up into Max’s hair, and I pull him closer not wanting him to stop.
“Harder,” I barely whispered while pulling his head closer. That is all I can get out as he continues his assault. He quickly switches over to the other breast. While his hand replaces where his mouth just was he gently pinches my nipple between his fingers. I can’t even think to what he is doing to my body all I know is that I want him to never stop.
The fire that I feel between my legs is getting hotter and I need him to quench my fire. I start rubbing my legs together trying to get the feeling to ease up a bit because I know Max is no where ready to start.
Max slowly runs his other hand down to my dripping hot core, and he slowly parts my lips and slides one long finger into my wetness. I can hear myself moaning in union with Max. I start moving my hips along with his hand wishing that he would move faster.
“Please, Max I need you now,” I whimper.
“Are you sure Liz? I need to know now because I don’t know I can stop if I go any further.”
I reach up and use one hand to pull Max down and I kiss him passionately. I reach down with my other hand and guide Max’s penis to my wet core. I put the tip of his throbbing manhood into my wetness and slowly bring my hips up.
While I’m doing this I can hear Max hiss my name. He grabs both of my hands and entwines them between his. He pulls my hands over my head and his starts to kiss me. My head is swimming in ecstasy so much that I can’t even think straight that’s how bad I want him.
He ever so slowly inches his way into my burning core. I just want to grab his sweet ass and push him in faster, but Max has my hands in his holding them ever so sweetly. I kiss him with all I have left remembering that is the last time that I will ever get to be with him.
I can’t believe that I’m naked in bed with Max. I can feel him filling me up. He’s so huge that I can feel his pulsating member push into my tightness. I couldn’t wish for a more perfect way to be loved.
I start to feel a burning sensation as Max stops. This is it soon I will be a virgin no more. I know why Max stop it’s because he hates to see me in pain. He just can’t bear me to be hurt in anyway. I wiggle my hand out from under his and I reach down to grab his ass, and push him down while I move my hips up all in one swift motion.
‘Holy Shit…..That hurt’ I can’t believe that he’s all the way in me. I hold him closely as tears start to run down my face. I hear Max whisper sweet things as he gently rub my tears away. Soon I start to move my hips giving him the go ahead to move. I feel so full and tight with him deep in me.
As we start moving I’m getting these flashes of things that I never seen before. I feel like I’m floating being taken to another dimension. My body is tingling all over and I can feel my soul becoming one with his. My heart is healing and my soul is full of this happiness that I can’t even explain.
I feel him moving in and out of me. I know I’m moaning and making noises but I can’t hear a thing. All I can hear is this loud humming noise that I know is our connection. I can feel everything Max is feeling right now. It’s like sensation over load. Max and my feelings are intertwining together and our souls are now one.
My breath is quickening and my heart feels like its going to jump right out on my chest. I want him deeper and harder. I don’t want him to ever stop. I feel tears streaming down my face as I feel the whole world around me. I feel sweat glistening on our bodies as I run my hands down Max’s strong back. I know that our ending is come to an end and I’m scared to think of what going to happen next.
I see the stars flying around me like we are floating out into space as we become one. I open my legs wider and push Max deeper as I feel my end come crash down on me. My walls squeeze around his thick penis, and he is still going strong as he drives into me deeper. I roll him over I want to know what it feels like to be on top. I sit up supporting my knee around his side for good leverage.
I move up and down looking into his loving eyes. I have to stare at them because now I know that this is the very last moment that I can call him mine. No one can take this special time away from me ever. I throw my head back feeling his finger grazing my button for the first time. It sends hot electrical currents into my brain. I know Max is ready to cum soon. I lean back putting my hands on his knees and at this angle I feel him deeper then I ever felt him before.
His hands are gripping my hip helping me with this new quicker pace. Soon the whole world is exploding all around us. I feel myself shake along with Max. I’m not to sure how long we were like that but I really don’t care. I lay on his chest listening to his heartbeat as no words are said. I finally start to fall into a deep sleep feeling Max’s hands rubbing my back and through my hair… This moment is mine and mine alone….
I don’t really remember what time it was when Max left, but when I opened my eyes he was gone. My heart just dropped and I quickly brought me knees up to my chest wincing in pain. I slightly smile as I remember why I’m in pain, but that quickly fades. I have this crushing emptiness that frightens me. I can still feel Max’s connection. I reach up to my neck feeling something there. It’s the necklace that Max gave me. Funny I don’t even remember putting it on.
Tear start to quickly fall as I reach over to find my phone. Where is my purse? Shit I ran here with nothing last night. I grab Max’s phone as the tears stream down my face. I called the only number that I could think of…..Maria’s.
Maria is on her way I chant over and over in my head. I have a weird feeling all throughout my body. Something isn’t right and for some strange reason I haven’t been able to let go on the necklace. I just sit there rubbing the pendent staring at the wall.
I hear a knocking on the window and I know that it’s Maria. I’m so numb right now that it’s hard to even speak. I really don’t have the will to do anything right now. The love of my life has left me. He is going to his planet that is far, far away. I want to hate him. I want to scream, but I can’t. I can’t think. I can’t think. I’m numb all over again.
Maria pushes the window open and jumps in and sees me right away. I can feel her sit on the bed and then she’s rubbing my arms.
“Chica, come on I will help you find your clothes”
I looked at her and start to cry all over again. I can’t stop because I know that this is going to be the hardest thing for me to do next…To leave Max’s bed and his room all together. Here is the one place that we had shared the most precious gift ever…..Each other. I can still smell him in here its sort of calming to me.
Maria hands me my pants and shirt and looks around for my bra. She quickly tells me that she is going to check Isabel’s room for them but we both know that they are long gone.
I stand up looking on the ground for my panties but I can’t seem to find them. I reach over to the pile of clothes that Max was wearing last night and quickly put on his shirt. I now can smell Max all around me. I feel at peace for the moment. I’m still shut off to all my emotions. I’m numb and I like it better that way.
I close my eyes and inhale his shirt deeply and concentrate on our connection. I can feel it flare to life. Max is sending his love through it. I am bombarded with feelings and regret. I’m almost not sure whose feelings are which.
I quickly pull up my pants thanking god they weren’t my tight ones because I can’t seem to find my panties. I glance over to the clock and see that its 5 in the morning and it’s still dark out. I run into Isabel’s room and grab Maria.
“Let’s go. I know something isn’t right.”
“Wait Chica you are so going spill what you were doing in Max’s room naked.”
“Sure, just like you are going tell me what it was like with Michael last night.”
“What?” I heard Maria shriek, “How did you know?”
“Just a feeling, its weird Maria I feel like I can feel everyone’s emotions.”
We get to Maria’s house and we hear her mom talking to herself. We stand there watching her muttering stuff about Brody and the gun. I watch her as she starts to tap her fingers on the coffee pot.
I remember Maria telling Kyle at lunch today to stop tapping his fingers. Then I flash on something that I totally forgot. Alex that one day when I was visiting him he was doing the finger tapping on the side of his guitar, which could only mean one thing…..Tess….Fucking Evil Bitch has to go down.
“It’s Tess. Maria she mindwarped your mom and I think she did the same thing to Kyle. Remember he was doing the finger tapping earlier at lunch?”
We rush out the door to Kyle’s house. We make it there in record time for the Jetta. We are now sitting in Kyle’s old room with him trying to see if he remembers anything.
I see the look in Kyle’ eyes…..Confusion…..Hatred…But most of all Betrayal…..
“I remember he was here standing there and she was over here. He was saying that she had been warping his mind to decode the book and he couldn’t take it anymore. She did it and I drag his body out to the car thinking it was luggage. I’m so sorry I didn’t know.”
I reach over to Kyle and give him a hug knowing that he had feelings for Tess and that it must be hard finding out that someone that you care about deceived you. I can’t help but to feel angry at everything that is happening to me. Because I know deep down that it wasn’t suppose to end like this.
“We have to try and tell them who the real killer is before they leave with her.” Maria says quickly.
All three of us run out to the Jetta and speed away to the only place we know they would be. I’m starting to get very nervous because I can’t feel Max anymore. I feel my eyes starting to burn with tears. He’s gone. He’s gone.”
I look up at the cave that holds their pods and I feel this deep wrenching hole where I used to feel Max. I can’t do this. I open the door quickly and take off running up the rocky hill. I see Michael half way up there. I see the pain in his eyes. I hear screaming I’m not sure if it was me or not but I hear it. I can’t even begin to describe the pain that is ripping through me right this second because I could have saved another one and instead I lost my soul.
“Nooo…..He can’t leave. I didn’t get to tell him that Tess was the one that killed Alex. I didn’t get to say good bye, and tell him that I will always love him."
I sit on one of the rocks looking up into the sky wishing that I would have known a few minutes earlier. I can feel my world crumbling apart once again. I feel like I can’t breathe. I slowly bring my knees up and hug them close rocking back and forth. I’m not leaving this spot I know that Max will be here….He will come back……He always comes back for me.
I can’t help but feel hatred towards Michael and Maria right now because I see them holding each other. Why is it okay for them but so wrong for Max and me? I regret what I’ve done in the past with my relationship with Max, but I can’t go back now. I should have listened to my heart from the beginning just like my Grandmother said. She knew all along. I can’t believe I was so stupid thinking that I could save the world.
Because now I have done nothing but push the man that I love into the enemies arms. What was I thinking? Why couldn’t I see that Alex was acting different? I could have saved him some how too. I can’t stop that feeling that I should have opened my eyes wider and saw the whole picture. I knew that Tess was practicing memory retrieval with Max. Maybe that is why he was acting so unlike Max.
I remember that day after we found out that Alex had died in a car wreck. I was so numb feeling. I looked around the room and everyone had someone to hold but me….I felt so lost. Then it just got worse after I found out that Sheriff Valenti wanted to rule Alex’s death a suicide it just put a bigger hole in my heart because I knew that Alex wouldn’t do that.
After I showed Valenti the picture I was even angrier with the world. I wanted answers I wanted to know what was happening to my world. I always thought that I would have the answers. I wanted to curl up into Alex’s bed and close my eyes and feel him. There was so much that I wanted to say to him. His friendship to me was more then best friends he was my family.
I knew that he was happy. He and Isabel had just found each other. Everyone did pretty much that night at prom except for one person but I can’t dwell on that right now. I knew that there was no way that Alex would kill himself. I knew that in the dept of my heart.
What I want to know is why after the funeral when I told Max my theory that maybe aliens had murdered Alex that he made me chose. I thought he was a friend. He promised me that no matter what he would always be. I thought that he loved me, but after that moment nothing was ever right between us anymore. Not only us, but the whole group was getting ripped apart right down the middle. It was never the same again and it only got worst. It was no longer us against the world now it was humans against aliens.
After that I was like some sort of walking zombie with no feelings just numbness. I couldn’t stand to see everyone in school act like they gave a damn about Alex. They never even knew him. I was grasping at straws at anything to help me understand…I wanted answers….I wanted to know why. Why him?
My quest for answers seemed to turn everyone against me especially the Podsters. I didn’t want to bring Maria into it as things seemed to be looking up for her and Michael. Every time I asked a question or brought up a new theory about Alex’s death it was as if Max hated me just a little bit more. Bit by bit piece by piece he was no longer the Max Evans I knew and he was pulling away from faster than I wanted. I wanted to hold onto a small piece of myself. I use to think that was Max and his love for me, but I was so wrong.
That day I left to go to the airport to go to Sweden you told me that if I left that you would no longer be my friend. You made me make a choice AGAIN. Come to find out while I was at the airport trying to figure everything out you was fucking Tess. That pain runs deep. Too deep to even think about which leads me back to the present to this to me not wanting to give up. You see I can’t give up, because that is all I have left now. It’s just me and me alone.
Can I do that? Can I move on and act like nothing ever happened? What am I suppose to do now? I still can feel Max’s hands running through my hair. My body is still tingling from last night. It’s like he is still haunting me even though he isn’t here. Like he is reminding me of what I could have had and what I lost.
I feel broken beyond repair. I lost one of my best friends and my soul mate all by the same person. Will he ever know the truth? Would he ever think of me? Worse of all she got exactly what she wanted….Max. She took everyone I loved away. I’m scared to feel again because if I allow myself to feel again I just might break down. I put up these walls where no one can see me hurt or in pain. I have to push it way back into that special place where I have been hiding all my pain.
I’m not to sure how long I have been sitting here but I feel a pair of strong arms lifting me up off the rock. I feel like I just don’t want to think anymore I want all these memories to stop haunting me. I just need to stop. Stop everything.
“Noooooooooooooooooooo.”
I start to kick and squirm around I have no idea what it is but I know that I can’t leave I’m not ready to leave. I can’t be without him. I feel the tears start flowing out of my eyes. I feel myself giving into the pain and grief. Everything……Everything is…..LOST……
I close my eyes wishing to be back in bed with Max holding me and running his fingers through my hair. I want to smell him again. I want my soul back, my heart, my everything. I never knew it was going to be this hard to let him go…..Never.
I can feel fingers running through my hair and a soft humming that seems to be calming in some way. I recognized that voice but still I can’t look up to see who it is. I want to be free again. Free to love the one man I fell in love with that one faithful day. I will never forget that he gave up his life, his ultimate secret so I could live. He stepped out from behind the tree to save me just because….It was me.
I feel heat from a fire that had been made. I feel like I have been crying for days. I’m not even sure what day it is. I do know that they stopped trying to move me. I feel content being just like I am. I hear Michael, Kyle and Maria talking and I feel the warmth of a fire. I slowly start to sit up and look around for the first time in a long time.
I look at them and realized just how much pain everyone is in. I haven’t been the only one who has lost some one. I feel tears start all over again and the weirdest thing is Michael is the first one to come to me. He just holds me and slowly rocks me. Maria is sitting right next to me trying to get me to eat something but I can’t. I just can’t. I want to die. Please everyone just let me. I want the pain to stop.
We stayed up there for I’m not sure how many days. Finally Valenti told us that my parents are going to be coming home and I had to leave. I had no choice but to go. It was one of the hardest things to do. Because this was the last place you were at and the same time the same place you came to us.
After a couple of weeks I got into a routine so that my parents wouldn’t freak out. I heard them talking one night about sending me to a shrink because my depression had gotten worse. What did they expect? I lost my best friend and my soul all at once. I made myself change because there was no way I’m going to have to talk to some dumb ass. I made sure that I went to school and my grades were outstanding. I just threw myself into my school work and work.
Michael surprised me the most. He was always there. I was sneaking out every night and going into Max’s room at night just so I could sleep. He would some how know that and walk me to his house making sure I was safe and alright.
Max’s room was the only place I felt safe at night. My parent would freak because I was never in bed. Before long the Evans found me sleeping on Max’s bed and called my parent so now it’s just a give in that I’m here at nights. They have been the greatest to me. Mrs. Evans would stay up and rock me back to sleep if I would wake up screaming and crying. I feel so bad for them. They don’t have any idea where their kids are. They put out a missing persons report and are still waiting. Everyone thinks that Max and Isabel had been murdered by a psycho killer which if you think about just might be true.
It’s been 35 days since Max and Isabel left. I still feel absolutely lonely. I have this emptiness about me now. I have also been waking up feeling very strange. One time I could have sworn I saw some green vein like things flowing through my skin. I felt all tingly almost hot then my taste for food changed everything started to taste bland and just plain gross. If that wasn’t weird enough every morning I would wake up sicker then a dog.
Mrs. Evans caught me crying in the bathroom one morning. She just sat there rubbing my back and holding back my hair. Then she said three little words that would change my life forever…..Are….you….pregnant?
I can’t believe how stupid I was that night. Not only did I make love to an Alien King and my all time love and soul mate but we’d never used any protection. What a stupid thing to do for a teenager? But do you want to know a little something? I have no regrets. Not one at all.
Do you want to know why? Because I finally got back a piece of my soul a little something that Max and I created……The miracle of life. Ok we can say that it’s going to be a little scary because this whole Alien and human birth thing has never been done before. You should have seen Michael’s face when I told all of them. Maria actually has a picture of it just in case we need to remind him.
Let’s just say we had a little meeting on our new discovery. It meant that we had to tell our parents the total truth. We can’t have secrets anymore. What would happen if my baby starts showing Alien traits? We have to say something. So I’m sitting here in a room full of parents praying to God and the Antarian gods too just for good measure. I need all the support I can get so here goes nothing.
I have Maria on one side and Michael on the other. They are holding my hands trying to give me the support I need. Mrs. Evans is the only one that knows that I’m pregnant. I’m so scared. I know my parents will freak out. I’m not really too sure how anyone else is going to take the ‘I’m a Hybrid Alien’ topic. Also I’ve started changing and it seems that I’m become one too. Only Michael, Maria and Kyle know but I’m starting to get powers too.
Remember that time that Max went to New York and Ava was here with us. She said something back then about me being changed because Max healed me. Oh boy have I changed. I can heal small stuff. Well I’m not to sure how deep I can heal because it’s not like I’m going to try it out. I can also change molecular structure and blow stuff up like Michael. That’s it so far.
So here I am explaining all this to my parents and Max’s parents. Boy, I wish he was sitting here right next to me. I can’t believe how calm everyone is about the whole thing after I finish. My parents didn’t take it too bad, but still I can see the hurt in their eyes. The Alien news didn’t surprise anyone too bad. My dad had a bit of a problem first, but I think that is was more aimed at me having sex with a boy or even an Alien and got pregnant then anything else.
After an extremely LONG talk everyone went home but not after my parents drop a bomb shell on me. You see they are taking an early retirement. Both of them agree that just knowing all of this is why too much for them to handle. They want to get as far away from Roswell as they can. I’m not really sure how to take that one. They are being honest and I can’t be mad at that.
Well, I think they were thinking about this for a while because they had already had the papers drawn up. I have been spending lots of time with the Evans so I don’t even sleep at home anymore so I can’t be too mad. My parent left me everything, the Crashdown Café and the apartment on top all of it is mine. It was my grandmother’s and she wanted me to have it. My parents are going to travel the world but they promised to keep in touch.
Dianne asked me no more like begged me to live with them. I was happy that I was getting close to Mrs. Evans. She was a great help with everything. So here I am a 17 year old pregnant owner of the Crashdown and everything around it. Grandma Claudia even had a cabin up in the mountains too that became mine. I asked Michael to live in the apartment for me so that someone was always close by. Michael and I have grown very close to each other.
Michael made sure that the baby was fine. He would connect with me to make sure everything was ok. I couldn’t go to the doctors because of the whole having to take blood thing. The only difference between human babies and hybrid babies is that we noticed that my baby was growing a lot faster.
One night I was cleaning Max’s room and under the bed I found a letter. I looked at the letter and instantly I started to cry. I couldn’t believe that Max actually left me a letter. I saw my name across the envelope and I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking. I slowly start to open the letter. I almost don’t want to read it. But I have to see what he has to say. I take a deep breath and pull the letter out.
Dearest Liz
I can’t believe that I’m actually getting out of bed after the amazing night we just experience. I have to stay that I almost decided not to go. I‘m sitting here at my desk watching the love of my life sleeping naked in my bed and I have to get ready to leave earth. I promise you this that I will try to come back to you because I really don’t see me wanting to stay away from you.
Please understand that this was and will always be the hardest thing I ever did. I can’t begin to say how much I’m sorry for everything that I put you through. I never meant to hurt you. I don’t even know where everything went wrong. I can’t take it back. The only reason why I’m leaving you is because I made a huge mistake, and I have to make sure that my son will be alright.
I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I wanted you to know that I feel really stupid for believing that you ever slept with Kyle. I should have just followed my heart with that one. After we made love I found out the real reason for why you did it. I can’t even begin to comprehend what power and bravery it took to do that. I’m grateful knowing that you cared that much for everyone to sacrifice your own happiness. I just wish you would have come to me…together we could have figured it out.
Please take care and watch out for anything that might be strange. I don’t want anything to happen to you. If anything weird happens please let the Sheriff take care of it.
Please be safe and I love you with all my heart and soul
Max
I was sitting on Max bed with tears running down my face. I can’t understand what he was thinking writing this letter then having to leave. Max is much stronger then I am. He was just trying to do what was right. Now look where that got him. He is with Tess…..
I quietly fold up the letter and stick it in my journal. At least I know it was as hard on him as it was on me.
I lay down on the bed while running my hand over my tummy. I have a little bump there. That is where my precious baby is. I concentrate on the baby and suddenly I’m being pulled in to the baby’s connection. Wow…I can see her…I’m having a girl. She looks to be about 5 months old. I’m 5 months pregnant. WOW! I can feel that emptiness that I was feeling for all these months starting to fill.
She is making a connection with me and its making me somewhat whole again. I will always miss Max’s connection and I know that I’m always going to be bonded with him. No one will be able to ever take that away but at least I have something there that is his.
I run into the living room where Dianne and Phillip are and tell them that I just found out that I’m having a girl.
~3 Months Later~
Here I am as big as a house. I’m still working over at the Crashdown. I made Michael part owner with me. He has been the greatest help. Maria is sitting down with me making out a list of stuff we’re going to need for the baby.
You wouldn’t believe all the stuff Dianne and Phillip bought. You would think that the baby store exploded in the spare bedroom which is now the baby’s room. Michael is coming over later to paint it because he read that it’s bad for me to be painting.
I hear from my parents every once in a while but I’m happy for them. They said that they are going to try and stop by after the baby is born. We can only hope.
I know that the time is ending for my precious baby to be born and I can’t help but to think what Max is doing right at this moment. I’m only hoping that every once in a while that he will be thinking of me and everyone here. I know in my heart now that one day he will come back to see all of us.
A couple weeks later I’m still huge and pregnant and the Evans and Maria got together to throw me a wonderful shower. I tried to be happy but my heart wanted Max here with me and everyone. As the time gets closer for her to come out and greet us I’m slowly getting terrified. I mean what if I’m a bad mother. What if she comes out green? Every ‘what if’ runs through my brain.
I’m sitting in the baby’s room in the great rocking chair that Maria’s mom got me. I love what Michael and Maria did to the room it’s decorated with all pictures of us, the whole group before everything went wrong. This is going to be the best room ever. Michael did a wonder job painting a picture of the cliff and cave where the pods were found.
As I slowly try to get out the rocking chair I feel a gush of warm water running down my legs. I look down at my pants and notice that it has a weird green glow too it. A second later a sharp pain goes ripping through my tummy. Oh shit here we go.
I scream for Diane and hear her running down the hall. She calls everyone from the list we made and bring me to my room.
After twelve hours of pain finally my little angel decided to make her way into the world. She is 7 pound and 15 ounces. She was all fingers and toes with dark hair like me, and beautiful eyes like her daddy. I look around and see everyone that stuck close to me through everything and I say “everyone I would like you to meet Alexia Isabella Maxine Parker-Evans.”
I sit there watching everyone hold her and I reach up and rub the necklace that mean so much to me and I whisper a little secret to Max hoping that maybe he could hear.
End
