Hey all, I'm still on vacation but I wanted to drop my head in and thank y'all for putting me on the ballot for part one of Round 7. This fic is up for "Best Supporting Portrayal of Isabel Evans" and also "Favorite Portrayal of a Dupe." Thanks again.
And while I'm here, why don't I reply to some feedback?
Stuf-tastic stuflet - I can always count on you to be such an excellent emotional barometer. Thanky thanky.
Earth2Mama - Hmmmm, your questions will be answered but not quite yet. Glad you like Kyle and Ava. I must admit that I worried that I was being a bit of a dork by coupling everyone up to this degree. But I couldn't resist after I got Ava envisioned properly. We'll see what happens.
Magikhands - Thanks for the reassurance about the cliffie. Mmmmm, certain people (ahem Pooh) had been jonesing for some Lipstick so I made sure to provide some sweetness. Glad it worked out.
orphyfets - Thanks! I'll try and get on finishing the new part as soon as I get back from Vaca and unpacking the new apartment.
flyawayraven - Haha! Your feedback cracked me up.
elfangel01 - Sorry to keep you on the edge of your seat (well, not completely, but sorry to do it for so long). Never fear though, I will be back.
mrsjbehr - hey thanks for delurking! And thanks again for that fabulous banner that you made for my other story.
Roswellscripter - Well, men and children really tugs on my heart strings so....
Cherie - Thanks so much! I love writing Ava. She's one of my favs actually. Miss you too.
Taty - Thanks you so much!
LovinGuerin2Much - Wow, Ava and Kyle are getting a much bigger reception than I had imagined they would. Thanks!
Thanks for your patience everyone! It's all been well, crazy. And I want to thank everyone who nominated or voted for me thus far. It really touched me that this fic got runner up for "Best Supporting Portrayal of Isabel Evans" especially since I really went out on a limb in terms of canon by pairing her with a woman. And besides it's pretty cool to be even remotely in the same category as Midwest Max, who is an excellent author and writes a damn good Isabel.
*Angst Alert* Just trust me.
Part 17
Serena woke up with a start. She was trembling and sweating profusely as she blinked her eyes in an attempt to adjust to the darkness in the room. She looked over at Isabel sleeping so peacefully in bed beside her and her heart contracted at the sight of the other woman’s lovely features in repose. This can’t be happening! She cried out to herself in her mind. Not now. I can’t go back there. I….can’t. But even as the words echoed dully inside the confines of her head, she knew that she had no choice. Not really.
Despite the shakiness of her body, Serena pushed aside the covers and got out of bed as quietly as she could. She took another look at Isabel’s sleeping form and resisted the urge to wake her up and find comfort in her arms, to pretend that this wasn’t happening, or perhaps to cry and let out her fears. But what she really needed to do right now was think this all through, to get a hold on herself and the deadly serious information she had just received. So instead, Serena found herself tip toeing out of the room she now shared with Isabel (they had finally given up the illusion that they lived in separate places a few weeks before).
She walked into the living room and began to pace, biting her fingernails and wringing her wrists. She should have known that she wouldn’t be able to completely leave Antar behind, that there was unfinished business there in which she would need to take part.
Because Zan needed to go, and she was the only person who could guide him. She was the only person familiar enough with both worlds and it was her duty.
The resistance needed him to put an end to her brother’s brutal reign of terror that had swallowed so many lives, almost including her own. They needed Zan because he was a symbol, and sometimes people needed a symbol, a banner under which to unite. On this point Rayek had been especially clear, which had surprised Serena since she had always been the one most vehemently opposed to the idea of the monarchy. Rayek had always been the one most convinced that the old ways of biologically determined rulers were a key to the past only, and had no part in the democratic future that she and the other resistance members imagined for the people of Antar.
Serena had been surprised by the strength of Rayek’s mind voice in her dream. It took a great deal of energy to send messages from this distance and she knew that Rayek would have needed quite a few telepaths to support the mind link – a dangerous move considering how integral the rebel telepaths were to the day to day functions of the resistance movement. It was this fact combined with the tone of desperation that she heard in her old mentor’s mind voice that had Serena so convinced that she and Zan needed to leave, and leave soon. Apparently it was all arranged for already – all Serena had to do was prepare Zan. And, she thought mournfully, to prepare herself to leave Isabel, the one person who had ever truly loved her unconditionally.
Serena jumped at the sound of footsteps behind her. She turned and found Zan standing at the junction between the hall and the living room, his amber eyes blazing through the darkness. His angular features had a hard look to them, as though he already knew what she had to tell him and she sighed and looked down. This was not going to be easy for any of them.
Although Serena and Zan had not had any real chances to talk, she could always tell that there were similarities to their experiences. She knew that neither one of them had really been able to open up until recently and she also knew that both of them had lived through difficult passages in lives that had been largely lonely and filled with betrayal by those that were supposed to love them. When she saw how he looked at Liz, she recognized how she herself looked at Isabel. She could tell that even in the short time that he and Liz had been together, Zan had found his home in her the same way that Serena had found hers in Isabel. And so her heart went out to him.
They stood there in the darkness for a few tense moments before he spoke.
“Explain it to me. Explain to me why I need to leave Liz and Max and everything I have ever known for a planet I know nothing about.” His voice was soft and low and she could hear the pain and confusion that he was trying to hold in check.
“How did you…?” she started and then stopped, realizing that they must have activated the seal for him. She was relieved at least that they had not been so foolish as to have activated the premature seal carried by little Max. Otherwise the little boy would have most likely been awake and screaming, but instead the apartment was quiet, eerily still considering what was about to happen – considering how much their comfortable, little world was about to be shaken.
“I feel the pull and so I know but that doesn’t mean I friggin’ understand. And so I need you to explain it to me, Serena.” Zan’s voice was flat as he walked over to where she was standing by the couch. Gently but firmly he took her hand and gestured for her to sit down next to him. She sighed and followed suit, taking a deep breath before the words began to spill from her lips.
In a rush, barely stopping for air, Serena unloaded upon Zan the facts of the matter. She winced as she told him about the way that her older brother Khivar ruthlessly ruled – about the lack of freedom enjoyed by the average Antarian, the torture and punishment Khivar bestowed on anyone who dared dispute him on any matter. She told him about the brave women and men who risked their lives every day to work against him. And of Rayek’s message, she informed him of the terrible events that had come to pass. Khivar’s “queen” Tess had died, in childbirth, and true to form, he was taking it out irrationally on his own subjects. No one had thought it could get much worse but in the wake of Khivar’s twisted grief things had apparently gotten much darker. The only positive thing about this situation was that the quick increase in oppression had inspired many more people to band with the resistance and their leaders had decided it was time to finally put an end to all of it for good. Which was why they had contacted Serena…and why they had finally decided that they needed Zan.
Zan’s face contorted and became ever more grim as he listened to Serena’s speech, finally darkening in complete rage when she told him the last pertinent piece of information…
“And apparently Rayek and the others are not the only ones that are seeking you out. Their spies have gotten word that Khivar has once again decided that he needs the seal to make his power and his rule absolute and that he plans to get it, either from you…or from Max.” Serena shuddered along with Zan at the thought of anyone putting their hands on the sweet little boy that they had both grown to love so much.
Before Zan could open his mouth to ask the question, Serena answered it herself, “You and Max both carry the seal. You have always borne it, just like Max’s father, and Max inherited it from his father, your double.”
Zan’s eyes were stormy, resentful. “I fucking HATE this bullshit seal thing. All it has ever done is cause trouble.”
“From what I’ve heard, so did the original Zan. He rebelled against the idea that his fate was chosen for him. He didn’t want to be a warrior or a king and certainly didn’t want to be forced into an arranged marriage with a woman he hardly knew. And the seal itself wasn’t a naturally occurring phenomenon. It was supposedly the life accomplishment or whatever of a particularly dynasty obsessed King.”
“Huh, well if it was put in then there has to be a way to take it out and you can fucking bet that I will find a way to get rid of the damn thing,” Zan said vehemently. “But first we gotta find a way to stop that bastard brother of yours…” He stopped suddenly in his tirade, unsure of Serena’s reaction.
“Hey, no worries. Family is as family does and that asshole has never done anything but screw up my life.”
Zan raised an eyebrow at Serena’s profanity. She was ordinarily so gentle. It was rare to hear a harsh word come out of her mouth.
It was at that precise moment that Kyle bust through the front door and found them huddled over the coffee table. They both went quiet, realizing that they were going to have to break the news to the others, knowing how incredibly difficult that was going to be.
********************
Isabel looked across the table at Liz and saw the buried torment in her friend’s lipid brown eyes. Ever since Zan and Serena had left, Liz had been walking around with a dull look on her face. At that moment, Isabel was especially glad for her nephew’s existence. Because she knew that taking care of him was most of what was keeping Liz together, making her able to get up every day and go through the motions of life – school, grocery shopping, taking her son to daycare, all of the little things in life that had seemed so sweet just a few weeks before when their loved ones were here. Isabel sighed. How she missed “normal.”
Neither woman spoke. Liz toyed with her hair absently as she leaned over the school books laid out on the table. But she hadn’t turned the page in almost half an hour.
Isabel took a sip of her coffee, willing herself to enjoy the rich warmth of it going down her throat. When she put down the mug, once again her eyes fell upon the ring on her finger – yellow gold with an inset emerald – to set off her hair, Serena had said. Isabel breathed in deeply and toyed with the jewelry on her finger allowing herself to be taken back to the fateful day when Serena had slipped it on her finger – the day when everything had changed.
She had basically freaked out completely when Serena had told her that she was going to have to leave. First shock, then stunned silence, then an avalanche of hot tears. And to think that people had called her the “Ice Princess” back in high school. Well, that was before Serena - that was before Isabel had had a reason to find her own fire.
Taking another sip of coffee, Isabel closed her eyes and remembered the stricken look on Serena’s face as Isabel had broken down completely before her eyes. She remembered how her entire body had filled with a burning hot anger, how she had felt consumed by rage and fear. She had sobbed uncontrollably, her body wracked with emotion, not even caring how she must look. She had felt the way that her face was contorted by her tears, how her eyes burned. And Serena had simply held her and stroked her hair with those delicate hands of hers. Sitting there at the breakfast table, Isabel could almost feel their comforting presence.
And just when Isabel had thought that she could feel no greater emotion, Serena had lifted Isabel’s tormented face and stared deeply at her with those brilliant green eyes. Looking down at the ring on her finger, Isabel thought idly about how similar in color Serena’s eyes were to the emerald in the center of the setting.
“I love you,” Serena had said, choking back tears of her own.
And then she had slipped the ring on Isabel’s finger.
“Wha-What’s this?” Isabel had choked hoarsely.
“It’s a promise,” Serena whispered then. “A promise that I will come back to you.”
Brought back to the Serena-less world of her kitchen, Isabel looked up and set her jaw. She would stay strong and hold on to that promise. If her love was brave and strong enough to go back to a place that had never offered her anything but pain, then Isabel too, could be strong as well. For the good of others, for the good of Liz.
Isabel cleared her throat. “Liz?”
Liz looked up wearily from her text book. “Yeah?”
“They’re coming back. We have to hold on to that.”
Liz’s eyes widened. She nodded and looked down at her lap.
“And Liz?” Isabel stood up and crossed the short distance between herself and Liz. She leaned down and hugged her friend, wrapping her arms around the smaller woman’s shoulders.
“We have each other. No matter what.”
When Liz looked up, Isabel could see that her friend’s eyes were glossy with emotion and unshed tears but for the first time in days they didn’t look dead or defeated.
“I love you, Liz.” As the words left her mouth, Isabel realized that this was what she needed to do to keep going – she needed to support the people around her and allow them to be there for her as well. She remembered the days before she had really been able to have real friends – when Michael and her brother were all that she had. Now she had so many people in her life and that knowledge gave her strength. Isabel held on to Liz a little tighter and they swayed together in their embrace.
Hello everyone. This part is short and well, weird, in that it's written in a different style than the others. Hope it works.
Thank you all for sticking with me with this. I know that that last part was really difficult to take. It was hard to write! I hope that through the voices of the characters in this next part it will make sense.
I don't have energy for individual feedback right now but I thank you all so much for sticking with this - my first fic. Feels crazy that it's coming to a close soon.
And while I'm thanking people - Holy Crap! My Isabel/Serena tag to this story won "Best Slash Fanfiction!" How about that! Big congrats to all the other winners and runners up.
Part 18
Liz. I miss you so much I can hardly fucking breathe, although there is also the fact that this godforsaken planet has weird air pressure. It’s all so strange and bizarre and alien. That’s right. Go ahead and laugh, woman. I said “alien.” But it freakin’ is. It’s dry and desolate and everyone seems desperate. Although I’ve only been in this refugee camp so far.
God, I wish I could hear that pretty laugh of yours, the one where you push your head back and hold your mouth open. That mouth, the one you use to kiss me so I can hardly stand up, the one you use to…
Fuck! Can’t think about that right now. Can’t think about how much I wish I was wrapped up in your arms – the only place I’ve ever felt safe in my goddamn life. Can’t think about what if feels like to have your legs wrapped around me, your hair flying around like mad, your skin and the smell of you surrounding me…
Nup, that’s how a guy goes crazy.
Oh, you would blush if you could actually hear me talking like this. Who would have that I would be so friggin’ gone over a woman? But then, who would have thought that I’d be half way across the galaxy. Despite the fact that I’ve pretty much known I was an alien my entire life, I never really thought about leaving the planet. Just didn’t give a fuck. That’s what Lonnie and Rath were all about and look where that got them?
I just want you. I need you. Call me domesticated but all I really want is to get out of here alive so that I can come home to you and the little guy.
*****
I’m Liz Parker, and one week ago today, the alien that I love took off for who knows how long. At first I thought that I would go catatonic. I guess I basically did.
But then Isabel – dear, sweet Isabel – shook some sense into me. Got me to buck up. So I can be strong for Max and for me and for her too, I guess. It’s weird, all that time when we didn’t get along, all that distrust that used to be there – it all seems so foreign to me now. Because this is happening to her too. This crazy longing and I ache for her almost as much as I ache for me.
I didn’t think that I could love again, not like this. But having him leave really threw things into perspective. Made me realize what kind of a second chance I’d been offered.
When I think logically, I know why he left. He had to and if he hadn’t perhaps he wouldn’t be who he is, the man that I love.
Because this needs to END. For once and for all. We can’t go on like this with the shadow of Antar hanging over our heads – this faraway, weird place that none of us has ever been. Well except for Serena, and Zan now too.
I’m just praying that this will be over soon. I need him. Max needs him. And he needs us. I know it.
*****
In my mind’s eye, I can see you, lover – all tall and curvy and magical, with that twinkle in your eye that’s just for me. And it still stuns me – Isabel Goddess Evans, looking at me like that. You were – are – a princess.
And not just here, on this terrible rock that I want to flee from to see you again. In my heart you’re a sparkling, twinkling goddess. OK, such sap. But that’s me - me loving you.
Our journey was smooth and we were in stasis the whole time. Got to say, that’s one thing that maybe the airlines back on earth should pick up on. Traveling is much less of a pain if you aren’t even conscious the whole time.
Things are tense. I can tell that Zan and Ava feel a little like interlopers here at the camp. Well, Zan does anyway. I can tell he feels uncomfortable with the whole King/seal business. But he’s a smart guy, more so than one could tell just by looking at him. He has good instincts and I’m sure that he’s picked up on the undercurrents of turmoil regarding the royal four.
All the same, Rayek was right. Once the word got out that the he was here, new recruits starting pouring in. She’s turned into a crafty general, that one. But I wish she didn’t have to be. Wish none of us were in this mess.
Glad that Ava’s here though. For Zan mostly. He put up such a stink when she insisted on coming with us but there was no stopping her. But now I think that he’s secretly glad that she’s here – because he feels less alone.
*****
I felt you in my mind last night and it made me feel less alone. I put up a good front for Liz and Max every day during the day but when I crawl into our bed without you at night I let myself feel it. I’ve found that I can still access some of what I had in high school – that ability to channel my emotions if I want to. No, of course I’m not going back into “ice queen” mode, but it involves similar skills.
I remember how you laughed when I told you about how they used to call me that (like I didn’t know!). You said you couldn’t imagine it. And I’m glad – glad that you’ve never had to see me like that.
It’s been weeks! Serena, I love that I can feel you in my head sometimes at night – it would be so much worse if I couldn’t - because this way I know that you’re still alive, that you can come back to me.
But hurry up with it already! Izzie’s getting anxious. And you know how I get…
*****
Zan is totally gonna freak out when he figures out what I’ve done – sneaking away in the middle of the night like that.
I didn’t tell him before we left about how I felt it when my dupe died – just like he did when his died. Makes sense I guess, in the way that any of this crazy alien shit that is our life does. But at the time I guess I didn’t want to admit that I felt any connection to her at all. At least his dupe wasn’t a nasty, boyfriend stealing, conniving enemy fucker like ol’ Tess.
But maybe this connection between us can be useful. Hell, I know that it can – I can feel it in my bones. As soon as we got here, I could feel HIM. Feel his grief and nasty desires for revenge and domination. It’s like all the darkest desires of every man I’ve ever come across all rolled up into one. And I know that I can make him bend. Men are easy like that – stupid and easy. OK, not Zan obviously, and that Kyle guy….he was alright. But anyway.
It was easy to find my way here, to come across the right people with the right desires to play upon.
So now here I am, in this crazy castle thing where Khivar hangs out. Shuttled in with the other dancing girls – of course.
I’m gonna make this end. All the scuffles and the strategies aren’t working. Well, maybe they will eventually but not without a lot of people dying, maybe even my friends. Of course this way, maybe it will be me that goes.
But better me than them. Zan and Serena have people waiting for them back home. I have to do this.
*****
My momma’s so sad and so’s my auntie Isabel. And…and so am I. I dunno what’s goin’ on but I know that you’re gone now and that all the grown ups are frownin’ when they think I’m not looking. And you said that you wouldn’t go.
Come back, Zan.
You’ve gotta take me to the park and kiss my momma and make her feel better.
Come back.
*****
She did it! Freakin’ Ava – shoulda known it would be her that would save us all. Snuck into that bastard Khivar’s place o’ business and gave him the haunting of his life – made him think she was his dead wife. Made him go crazy until his own people rebelled against him.
And now he’s in a padded cell in the bottom of his own fortress.
It didn’t take long in the midst of all the confusion for Rayek and the others to set up camp and take over government like they’ve been hoping and planning to for so long.
I thought that I knew about hard times but being here has made me see that it comes in all kinds of ways. These people…they’ve been living in the dark for all this time and now they don’t even quite know what to do with their freedom.
A fuck load of them expect that I’m going to be the one to show them the F-ing way, that I’m going to be the big King-Daddy dude. But the thing that I’ve learned from all this is that that is never a good thing. Look at this guy Khivar. I’ve been reading up on him and my…my old self. They used to be tight, back in the day. He didn’t used to be bad and look what happened. All that power – it’s not right for any one person to have that much. Life isn’t about that.
I guess it’s about doin’ the right thing and standing by the people that you love.
That’s why I’m coming home to you, Liz, beautiful Liz. I’m coming home to you.
I loved that part. It was cute that you put in the thoughts of little Max also. That would be the thoughts of a child someone to go to the park with that makes his mom happy.
OK, I'm actually *back* with the final installment of this story. For some reason it was hard to get out even though it had been outlined forever. Maybe it's because this is a big thing - completing my first (and longest) fanfic. Maybe it's because I got sucked into the land of Spike fic. But here I am and it is.
Thank you so much to everyone who posted feedback on this story - it was my first, my baby. And thank you to everyone who nominated or voted for it in some capacity. And thank you to all the lurkers. I knew you were there but if you want to speak up now, I won't stop you, lol.
elfangel01 - Thank you. I was curious about whether that approach would work. I'm glad it did for you.
Earth2Mama - Ah thoughts and feelings, one of my fave things about reading fanfic - that you can get that more directly than with the show. And yes, poor little Max, he's had a crazy life for one so young. good thing he has so many loving aunties and uncles.
Lilmisspolarwhore - Thank you!
vampyrax - glad that my attempt to channel a 4 years old half alien worked out!
Ellie - Thank you for reading and responding so wonderfully. Yes, it's sad that it's over. Hmmmm, actually I have too many ideas for fics. I think until I find an idea for a longer story that really clicks with me I'm going to keep writing short fics here and there. If you want to keep up with that click the link in my sig. That takes you to my author's page here at fanatics. I've also been writing a little bit of Spike/Buffy from BtVS and other randomness which you can find at my LJ fic journal (there's link in my siggie graphic).
Kay - Thanks babe. Oh Zan's back, baby.
magikhands - Thanks Chris! I always appreciate how you appreciate Ava. I really enjoyed writing her.
LovinGuerin2much - Wow, I guess my insecurities about that part were crazier than I thought. Glad the Ava and Khivar thing worked as a surprise. Kinda surprised me when I thought of it. lol
Shadowlynxbehr - Oh the feelings... Hee. I have an angsty side, I guess.
flyawayraven - Thank you so much! That Ava - she's a smart cookie.
Cherie - Thanks for the congrats, hon. Sorry I didn't exactly hurry, but I'm back.
alienmom - Hi Momma! You lurker you. Glad that the whole "Second Chances" thing makes sense. I didn't want to force it down everyone's throats but I wanted it to make sense.
BelievnDreamsToo - Today I will just give you FB on your FB. J - you helped me so much at such a crucial point in writing this story just by being so clear and generous with your reactions and feelings about the story. You are awesome.
Doublestuf - DS, stuflet, mon petit stuflet. You are the wind beneath my wings. Hee. Just needed an excuse to say that. But really, with this story especially, you really have been.
Oh, and last of all, thanks to TrueLovePooh who last night ordered me to get off of MSN with her and to put off beta-ing her new story so that I would go and finish writing this.
Last edited by femmenerd on Sun Aug 07, 2005 10:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.
It was kind of painful yet a relief to be able to feel again. Not that he had been conscious of his own previous state of stasis. Moments before Zan had been nowhere and noone, completely unaware of his own existence and then slowly a tingling in his extremities signaled that he was awakening. The fog in his brain began to clear and the first thing that he saw in his mind’s eye was Liz’s face – her lush, little lips and limpid, brown eyes whispered to him and at first all he could think or feel was an uncomplicated wave of love. Then he became more aware of his body due to the dull ache in his chest in the place where the seal had once been. It was gone now and despite the apparent pain, the pangs in his body registered primarily as a source of relief. He was free now, free of the constraints and expectations of a role he had never asked for. All the same, it did hurt and Zan was glad for Max’s sake that it would be easier for him since his seal hadn’t yet matured and been fully implanted. Serena herself would apparently be able to do it.
Before Serena had brought him to the cave where the old crone had relieved him of the seal, she had warned him of the high likelihood that the process would hurt him physically. But he had been determined. The bullshit seal had to go.
Trembling, Zan lifted his hand (which felt like a semi-useless ball of lead dangling from his sore arm) to his chest. A flash registered in his field of vision and he was there in the dark cave once again as the old woman muttered to herself before unleashing a kind of power he had never seen before. Although he had known that this was not her true form – she had only shape-shifted into this configuration to make him more comfortable – there had still been something disconcerting about seeing someone so seemingly aged and fragile become a vessel for such surging, bright light. It flowed through her chest and hands and entered his body in a hot burst of red which seemed to burn in his chest for an indescribably long period of time before it subsided and he fell to his knees spent and exhausted.
He was incredibly thankful to Serena for going to such lengths to help him. Although Rayek and the other leaders had assured them both that it was fine that he wished to return to earth and gave Zan their word that they would never call upon him again or try to re-activate his seal, Serena had wordlessly understood how important it was to Zan to get rid of the seal for good. The more he thought about it, the more it had seemed like it shackled him to an outdated order that he couldn’t even begin to wrap his brain around. He became fixated on it as it seemed more and more to be the one last thing that stood between him and Liz and whatever kind of normalcy they could hope for in this lifetime.
And now, waking up in this dusty spaceship hold (funny how the scifi movies always seemed to get it wrong – space travel was just as dirty as any other kind of transit), Zan relished the pain knowing that it was a wound that would heal. It was a good pain, mixed with the heady adrenaline that shot through him at the mere thought of being home (had he ever felt at home before?).
Liz was here.
********************
Tomorrow she was going to graduate from college. It was a big deal. It really was. Liz had been waiting and working for this for so long and it hadn’t been easy. No, it certainly hadn’t been a picnic trying to study and work and raise a wonderful, demanding, little, half-alien boy to boot. This time last year, she thought this would never happen – it had seemed so far off. But then, this time last year she wouldn’t have thought that she would fall in love again or be sucked back into the alien abyss or have the man that she loved go off to another far away planet either. But she’d been living in a daze this last while so she’d hardly noticed as the time crept by. Every minute without him was painful so in the end she’d done the only thing that she could and thrown herself head first into her studies not just because she had to fulfill her own science nerd dreams but also because it was one way to dull the pain, one way to semi-distract herself from the horrible, thudding ache of life without Zan.
The cap and gown were waiting for her in her closet and she had her speech prepared for the ceremony but she wasn’t even nervous, she was just sort of Blah.
The “Blah face” – Isabel tried to keep up a good front but every once in awhile Liz would see her veneer crack and look at Isabel’s beauty queen features and see her own pain mirrored there.
The two of them were sitting next to each other watching “Passions” on SOAPnet, both nearly melting into the couch in their sweats when Maria rushed into the living room and clucked loudly with her tongue in that way that Marias are wont to do.
Hands on her hips and blonde hair zinging out in every direction, Maria surveyed the scene and exclaimed, “Damn it, lady friends, but this will NOT do.”
Isabel and Liz both murmured and half looked up from the small screen where Tabitha’s weird witchy theme music was leaking out into the rest of the room along with the soft glowing TV light.
“Mmmmm, wha?” was Liz’s eloquent, High-Honors-in-the-Major reply as she reached over Isabel’s lap to messily scoop up a handful of buttered popcorn from the voluminous metal bowl that her friend was cradling in between her pink sweat pant-clad knees.
Maria stamped her foot. “You two are sad and pathetic and I will not stand for anymore mope-age around here. Not on my watch.”
Isabel shot her a withering look that said silently, “the loves our lives are far away on an alien planet while yours is teaching my nephew how to belch in the kitchen with Kyle.” But in her actual (pouty) voice she merely said, “The Cranes are up to something evil and Theresa’s going to…”
But she was interrupted by the determined and somewhat overly loud protestations of Maria, whose voice erupted from behind shiny, red lip gloss to exclaim, “It’s time to get off the couch and come out and celebrate with Auntie Maria.” She stamped again.
“NOW!”
“But Maria…” Liz said between noisy mouthfuls of popcorn.
With eyes decidedly rolling Maria continued on, “This show crawls like freaking molasses. You won’t miss anything. I know. Michael insists that I change the channel every day…”
“MARIA!” came a loud bellowing from the other room.
She lifted her hand palm out in the general direction of the kitchen and hollered, “Oh, shut it Space Boy, you can retain your masculinity and watch soaps. My boyfriend Spike did on Buffy and you can too…”
The sound of Kyle’s mocking laughter came rollicking through the space between the kitchen and the living room. His guffaws were mixed with the sound of Michael’s almost swearing before he realized that here was a kid in the room.
“Besides, come on now, girls - witches and demon babies? Like that’s realistic. But then, I guess, aliens…” Maria looked thoughtful for a moment before she shook her curly head.
“But anyway…” Maria got back on point. She looked directly at Isabel, fixing her gaze on her hard and steady. “Didn’t you get a message from Serena last week saying they were OK and coming back soon?”
“Um, yeah?” Isabel said as she slunk into the couch.
“Right. And don’t you have a perfectly, er, satisfactory pair of male role models in the kitchen prepared to baby sit for you tonight, Liz?”
“Ah, I suppose so..”
“And the graduation’s not until 5 PM tomorrow, am I right?”
“Yes,” said a sheepish Liz.
“Then it’s settled. We’re having a full on girly, dancing-in-hot-clothes, evening out on the town. You two owe it to me. I live in Roswell still remember, City Girls? You two are getting dressed, stat, and you’re taking me out.”
Isabel and Liz looked from the screen to each other and sighed.
“So get off the couch. That’s an order.” Maria barked just before she stomped over to the coffee table, smiled sweetly at them and thrust the remote at the TV, shutting it off.
The other two women jumped up from their respective positions on the couch and scuttled off to their rooms.
Maria grinned to herself as she watched them go. This was for their own good. They would thank her for this later.
***************
It felt good to be on his bike again, to be in his own town again. Hell, his own F-ing solar system again.
Zan shifted up and braced himself for the increased speed. He couldn’t get there fast enough. As he sped by all the familiar sites of this city where he’d hatched and grown up and fought and wandered the streets alone, he couldn’t help but feel like it all looked a little different somehow. Maybe it was because he’d just been somewhere where everything felt strange and distant, maybe it was because he was older and wiser, or maybe it was just because this time, this night, these streets were leading him back to HER.
As soon as they had said goodbye to the two shape shifters who had been assigned to be their entourage home, he had been itching to call Liz immediately. But Ava had beat him to it, dialing Maria’s cell from a payphone before he could blink an eye.
“Alright, oh love-sick ones. Maria’s going to drag your sweetie-pies and take them out dancing. And YOU are going to meet them there. It’s a brilliant plan, really. A lovely surprise they won’t be expecting. They’ll be all gussied up and you two will be the returning heroes and…”
Zan hadn’t been able to help but roll his eyes. “Yeah, um, as I recall YOU were the big heroine, Aves.”
“Yeah, whateva, you all helped too and that’s beside the point, because I don’t have any big smoochie reunion to look forward to like you all do.”
She had been all business-like, being their romance coordinator and it cracked Zan up. But then, pretty much anything would have made him laugh then because he was just so happy to be back.
“First we go to our place so you can clean up and well, so I can clean up too. Intergalactic travel is not the best beautifier. Yikes! Oh and Serena, you can borrow some of my clothes. We’re about the same size.”
Serena raised a delicate black eyebrow at that and Ava laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking. But believe it or not, I DO actually have some duds that don’t involve fishnet of any kind. You’ll be hot and, um, tasteful to boot. Promise and pinky swear and all that.”
And Ava had been right. Hiding somewhere in the back of her overflowing closet she had had a simple little black dress that hit all of Serena’s delicate curves in just the right way. And Zan had made the concession of wearing a clean, black T-shirt instead of a wife beater under his leathers.
The smell of said leather combined with the exhaust from his bike and the usual stink that was New York filled him with joy as he pulled up next to the club. He took off his helmet and rested against the bike. Suddenly he felt nervous. He bummed a smoke off of some club kid walking by and settled down on the curb, smoking furiously, fingers shaking and rubbing against the thick, black canvas of his pants. Had she….would she…? But before he could entertain anymore stupid ass insecure thoughts about how Liz would react to his return, a yellow cab screeched up in front of the club and a befuddled Serena was practically pushed out of the taxi by Ava’s little hands.
“Toodle-oo, kiddies. Have a nice time.”
“Where are you off to in such a rush?” Zan said, eying his friend.
She winked and replied, “There’s a certain corn fed New Mexican that needs to be taunted back at your girls’ place.” And then she shut the door and was gone before Zan could finish stubbing out his cigarette with the heel of his boot.
He took a deep breath and looked at Serena. “So, here goes it.” He half said, half grunted.
“Yeah,” she said and smiled brilliantly, her green eyes flashing.
*******************
Maria took a long sip of her Cosmo through a teensy-weensy straw (what? So you’re not supposed to drink them through straws? But straws are fun.) and happily surveyed her handiwork. Both reunited couples were swaying together, making love with clothes on out on the dance floor. She could see Liz crying and laughing with her head tilted back, hips held firmly by Zan, who appeared to be swallowing back his own effusive emotions. His eyes were trained on the little brunette’s every movement as his entire being seemed to pulse with how entranced and utterly satisfied he was in Liz’s presence.
Isabel was twirling Serena, whose black dress rose prettily around her legs. They both glowed in happiness and sensual joy. Sheesh, Maria thought, if anyone ever decided they needed some cover girls to advertise lesbianism, she had some candidates for them. She sighed contentedly as her vicarious lovey doveyness was fulfilled and slurped up the remainder of her cocktail through the garish pink straw.
When the music changed to a more pulsing beat, she advanced onto the floor and found herself welcomed into the circle by her friends, generous in their happiness. This was just about right. Maria could almost forget the sadness that Michael had never, could never, learn to dance. He sure could watch though, she thought with a grin.
********************
Soft sounds were already emitting from within Liz’s bedroom when Maria stumbled into the apartment on regrettable stilettos with Isabel and Serena. She turned her slightly tipsy head to the side for a moment and the two other women were gone – a rustle of skirts and fabric and somehow womanly giggles trailing from the hallway.
Teetering on the sparkly heels that had seemed like such a good idea before hours of dancing, Maria surveyed the living room. She almost laughed out loud when she saw what was on the still flickering television – a “Dark Shadows” marathon. Vampires! Witches! This shit was ridiculous. She smiled wistfully at the sleeping form of her husband sprawled out on a plush chair that was too small really for his body. She moved closer to really look at him while she thought briefly about how Max would have teased him about how his tastes ran from Hockey and brewskys to this secret penchant for paranormal soap opera. “I won’t let you,” Max would have said with that goofy grin that Zan’s so resembled, same as when they were weighing the merits of the Matrix vs. Crouching Tiger. But she pushed the sadness of that memory away in order to savor the way that the sweetness in her gruff but loving husband had come out over the years.
Maria’s eyes scanned the room.
Beer bottles strewn across the coffee table. Check.
Kyle snoring on the couch. Check.
Pretty blonde with light roots supplanting pink streaks snuggling up all kittenish next to him? Interesting. Check.
After another long look at the tableau Maria once again grappled with the remote to switch off the TV and walked over to Michael’s big, dear form. She shook his arm. “Michael,” she said semi-softly. He didn’t budge. “Michael!” she hissed and this time he swung into action – eyes still closed he pulled her into his lap and covered her lips with his own. After a couple of breathless moments, she slightly disentangled herself and ruffled the hair over his forehead, saying huskily, “Come on Space Hubby, take me to the hotel.”
***************
Isabel smacked her lips together as she finished applying her final coat of cherry red lipstick. She turned away from the mirror and swung around to look at Serena, who was waiting patiently by the door to their bedroom.
“You ready?” Serena said with a soft smile, patience brimming out from her stare. She cocked her head to the side and gazed at her girlfriend.
Isabel grinned wide as she looked Serena up and down. God, she was beautiful and she didn’t even get it. Not a tiny bit.
“I’m gonna marry you,” Isabel blurted.
“Ah, sweetheart, may I remind you, that we’re, um, girls.” Serena said, blushing but obviously pleased.
“Oh, I don’t even care. NOONE is going to stop Isabel Evans from being a bride.”
“No, I suppose they couldn’t,” Serena said laughingly.
And with that, Isabel dusted her hands off daintily on her tailored pinstripe pants and rushed across the room to gather a delighted Serena up in her arms. They swung around easily, laughing, Serena crying, and soon they were kissing like there was no tomorrow and they weren’t almost late for their friend’s graduation.
Tears sliding down her cheeks by then, Isabel beamed and swore, “Crap, now I’ve got to go re-apply my lipstick.”
***************
Zan’s ears were ringing from the sound of the crowd clapping, especially from the furious slaps of his own calloused hands against one another as he stood up to cheer for his girl. Beside him, Maria was blubbering like a proud Momma bear and little Max was squirming on top of his seat, straining his neck to see his mother step down from the podium after her speech. Michael and Kyle were whistling and hooting and hollering, almost as loudly as Ava, whose usually soft and sly manner had exploded into a torrent of cheers and high pitched yells. Isabel was snapping one picture after another like a fiend and Serena stood beside her clapping and smiling. It was a great day for everyone, not just for Liz and Zan thought to himself that weirdly, of all the strange and new things he’d been exposed to in the last few months, this was still the one that he was the most incredulous at – that he could be here, amidst a rag tag family of sorts and that it could be good.
He sat impatiently, thumping his fingers against his leg (slacks! Isabel had forced him into black slacks and a tie [!] for the event, although she couldn’t make him divest himself of his boots) as he waited through the alphabet of names before they hit “P” for “Parker” and Liz walked up to the podium once again and took her diploma, flashing a grin out into the audience that he hit him straight in the heart, ka-blammo.
The rest was a blur, of people and flower wreaths and fluttering gowns and tossed caps, group pictures galore, before he was alone with her on the back of his bike, hurtling towards the restaurant where Serena worked (somehow she had come up with a convincing cover story to mask her intergalactic adventures and still had a job). There were hours of toasts in Liz’s honor in the presence of Mr. and Mrs. Parker who still looked at him a little funny despite that fact that (or perhaps because) Liz had explained it all to them during his absence. But he didn’t care because right now, he could feel the heat from her body against his back and feel her arms encircling his waist.
When they came to a stop in front of the restaurant, Liz pulled off her helmet and spit out the pieces of shiny, dark hair that were stuck to her lips. The she smiled and kissed him.
“Hey there, Ms. College graduate, how does it feel?”
“Oh, I feel smarter and more accomplished already,” she cracked but her eyes looked up at his soulfully even as she did.
She got a little quiet then and grasped his hand. “Zan, Are you sure that you don’t mind giving up your…your planet or kingdom or whatever? Ack, you know what I mean.”
Her question came out of the blue to Zan but he was prepared all the same with his answer, with his truth. It was just all so clear to him now.
Lifting her chin and scanning her face with precision he replied, “Hell, Liz. I never wanted to be any kinda King. Never. I just want to be a man. Your man.”
The end
Thanks again, Folks! Oh, in case you missed it there is an author's note with FB response in the post immediately before this one on the last page. Also, there is still another installment of the Lipstick Abduction series left to go.
Also, I think that perhaps some of you are wondering why I didn't include any of my tradement "teh sex." See, thing is, I wrote the various parts of this and then put them together. I was saving the sex parts for last but when I read through it, it seemed to flow well this way and adding long sex scenes might have detracted from the rest of it. I can't believe that *I* am saying this but sometimes there's something to be said for leaving things implied. Besides that's what tags are for, eh?
Last edited by femmenerd on Mon Aug 08, 2005 10:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Aw man, I can't believe it's over! I had a blast going along for the ride. Your Zan is awesome. I'm so glad he and Liz(and all the others)got a happy ending.
Now I'm off to see if I can find a clue about what you may be working on next.
Thank you so much for your elaborate and heartfelt feedback. This story was the first fanfic that I ever posted so it's kind of my baby although I sometimes still cringe and have doubts about it as well.
I too, am a dreamer as well, so I would never write a UC fic involving Max or Liz that wasn't respectful of their relationship. I strongly believe that every love that we experience shapes who were are and that was definitely a theme that I wanted to bring to this story - how people integrate their pasts into their futures.
This story was interesting to write as the premise came to me in a dream and then I just followed through to see where it would go.
Isabel and Serena were a joy to write and I was immensely gratified at how well received they were. When I first started posting this story I really didn't know how people were going to react to it but I found that even a lot of people that never read slash really seemed to respond to their love story.
I do feel like I resolved the major issues that I wanted to deal with in this story - "second chances" - but I also wanted to make it clear that these people's stories and lives would go on. I don't have plans right now to write a sequel (I have to get into graduate school first before I commit to any more long term fics!) but I would never say never. I have promised a third story in the "Lipstick Abduction" series about Isabel and Serena that goes with this story. I haven't written it yet because I haven't gotten the right inspiration to do it justice and I don't want to sell them short.
And btw, those stories as well as my other Roswell stories are linked to in my author's page. I do also have a Dreamer story as well but you should know that it's quite NC17 (but very lovely dovey and sweet). It's called "Smoldering" and it is composed of love scene vignettes throughout Max and Liz's lives.
I had a blast going along for the ride. Your Zan is awesome. I'm so glad he and Liz(and all the others)got a happy ending.
