Chapter 30
Liz
“Hey guys, time for dinner.” I look up to see Max standing in the doorway to Damian’s room. He’s wearing a dark gray T-shirt and faded blue jeans both snug his body perfectly. I never realized how much I really missed seeing him until this moment. His hair is short to his head and the very front it pushed up, creating a sort of wall, he looks so good. He’s saying something to me but honestly I couldn’t be paying any less attention.
“What’s that Max?”
“I said if you’re ready I’ll help you downstairs now.” He smiles knowingly, I feel like a kid that got caught sticking her hand in the cookie jar. I was checking Max out and he knows it.
“Ah, yeah I’m ready thanks.” I rise from the bed looking at the damn crutches. I will say that my legs don’t feel all tingly anymore. It felt like they fell asleep permanently on me. Now they don’t which is good.
“Damian why don’t you go get washed up and head downstairs.”
“Okay Aunt Liz, I’m a go now, see you downstairs Uncle Max.” I smile, I love how he regards Max and I like we’re together, Aunt and Uncle. If only.
“Liz are you sure you can do it on your own?” He me and I can hear the concern in his voice, but I put him at ease.
“Yes Max, the tingling has stopped, I just need to hold onto you if that’s okay.” I say looking right at him and I feel my cheeks turning pink from embarrassment. I don’t know why it’s just awkward being this close to him, there is so much between us. I miss him so much; I miss our friendship even more. I can only hope that we can try to start again.
“No problem Liz.” He sticks his bent arm out for me to wrap my arm around it and we walk out of the room.
“Are you okay?” He says to me when we reach the bottom step.
“Yeah, thanks Max.”
“Anytime Liz.” I look up at him and we both smile at each other. We tear our eyes away from each other only when we hear the clearing of someone’s throat.
“Um I just wanted to say that dinner is ready when you are.”
“Thanks Diane.”
“Yeah thanks Mom, we’re coming right now.”
We enter the kitchen to find, Alex, Isabel, Damian, and Phillip already seated at the table. Diane was just placing a few things on the table when I turn to Alex.
“Alex!”
“Hi there Lizzie!” That’s Alex and Maria’s nickname for me. He gets up from the table and embraces me, and whispers in my ear,
“I’m glad you’re okay, and I know everything will work out.” I pulled away and just smiled at him. I know that Max could hear but I don’t care. I walk over to the table and take a seat in between Max and Damian.
“Liz I hope you’re up for eating I made your favorite.” Lasagna! Yes! I love her cooking. Now I guess I should explain the woman could not cook to save her life but Max sent his Mom to cooking classes and let me tell you she can cook her ass off now.
“Oh don’t worry I’m starving, I can’t imagine that a IV drip did the job, I think I lost like ten pounds.” I say jokingly.
“Well no worries, we’ll add those pounds right back won’t we Max.” Diane says looking at Max seriously.
“Yeah Mom, she’ll be back up to her hundred pound self in no time.” I slap Max’s arm at that comment.
“What? What’d I say?”
“You know what you said Evans, you know damn well that I weighed more than that!”
“Liz I…”
“Ooh Aunt Liz said the “D” word.” We all turn to look at Damian, whose eyes are wide and we all just look at one another in silence before we all start laughing.
“Its okay honey if grown ups say it, but not for you okay? And we’ll make sure Aunt Liz doesn’t say it anymore.” Alex tells his son.
“Okay Aunt Liz, I forgive you, but don’t do it no more.” I smile he’s too adorable for words.
“I promise I won’t.” I say to him seriously.
We all sat in comfortable silence through dinner and just as Diane was going to serve up dessert, angle food cake with fresh strawberries. I love strawberries!
“So Liz, how are you doing? Better?” Phillip asks me concerned. He is like a father to me always has been and always will be. Both of Max’s parents are definitely not your typical Mom and Dad. They are special, very accepting and the relationship they have with their kids is like no other. The fact that they adopted Michael and accepted him as their own is not something a lot of people can do, but they handled it well, now I sometimes forget that he is biologically not Max and Isabel’s brother. Max and Michael are so close; I don’t think they would know what to do without one another. Isabel on the other hand used to be like that, but I just think that she got lost, confused. I think she’s still in there somewhere though.
“Yes I’m doing much better, thank you for letting me stay here.”
“Stop that kind of talk Liz, you are always welcome here.” Diane reaches her hand across the table and gives my hand a tight squeeze that brings tears to my eyes. I know that I could have gone to them but I didn’t want to involve anyone in the situation. I thought I could control Jordan but I couldn’t and honestly I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Just at the moment though I feel something else…It’s Max hand on my leg giving it a gentle squeeze. Diane removes her hand and I look up at Max and I think I see something that I didn’t think I would see again from him…Love?
***********************************
Max
I don’t know what just came over me, when my Mom reached across the table to take Liz’s hand in hers, I couldn’t resist the urge to make Liz aware of the fact that my Mom wasn’t the only one that felt that way. So I gave her leg a gentle squeeze for reassurance, but when she turned and looked up at me, she caught me off guard. I looked at her, into her beautiful brown eyes and something just clicked and for a moment I remembered what it was like being with her, in love with her with no limitations.
***********************************
Liz
That was probably just my imagination; Max might care about me but love? No, he’s past that, he has a girlfriend that he probably loves. I’m so jealous, I have no right to be but I am. I mean major jealously going on here, I want to write my name across his forehead jealous.
We eat dessert with everyone talking about what’s been going on, just filling me in. Afterwards everyone leaves the table except for Alex, Max and I. I see Max and Alex exchange this look right before Max starts talking to me.
“Liz, I’m going to run to the video store, is there anything you want to see? I mean if you want to watch something with me or, I….” He’s so adorable when he’s unsure of himself; I love him more for it. On the exterior you would never think a man who looks like Max Evans would not be calm, collected and so sure of himself, that’s what makes him more appealing because underneath it all he’s so unsure of himself.
“That’s a great idea, umm how about Just Married?” I have wanted to watch that movie for a while now, with Max and Michael gone I had no one to watch my “chick flicks” with and I think it’s time I start to catch up. I look towards Max just in time to see him roll his eyes. I slowly walk towards him, place my palms against his hard chest and lean up on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear.
“You know you love them Evans don’t worry it’s still our secret.” I pull back and he’s looks stunned? That’s the only word for it. He clears his throat and tells me he’ll be back in a little while.
I turn to face Alex, he looks like he has the world on his shoulders now that we’re alone. I know that look, I’m all too familiar with it when it comes to Alex. He has been through a lot with having Damian so young and dealing with Isabel.
“Alex is everything okay?” He sighs then walks over to the sliding glass doors leading out the backyard.
“No it’s not Liz, do you think we could talk for a little while?” He gestures for me to join him.
“Sure of course.” We walk outside and sit on the swings in the backyard.
“You remember when we were younger Liz? You used to love to play on the swings, they were your favorite?”
“Yes Alex, but between you and me they are still my favorite.” I smile at him and he just chuckles.
“What’s going on Alex?” I ask him concerned.
“It’s Isabel and me, we are um…we broke up.” What?!
“Alex I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything, it’s okay, it was coming for a long time and you know it.” I did know it, Alex was growing tired of Isabel’s nonchalant feelings about his emotions and his feelings on things.
“I’m sorry Alex, I mean there’s still hope right? I mean you guys need to just work through this.” I ask him hopefully, regardless of what Isabel has done, I know that her and Alex should be together. They had to grow up too fast and I know how that can mess you up first hand.
“I don’t know Liz, I mean after hearing what happened with you and her, I just…it’s like I don’t even know her anymore you know?” I can hear the desperation in his voice.
“I know Alex, but just give it time. You guys have been together since you were like what sixteen and you’re twenty-eight, that’s a really long time Alex. I mean sometimes you just need time to be and find who you are without the other person.”
“How can you say that Liz?” He turns to me with a confused look on his face.
“Say what?”
“How can you look at our situation and see something good in it, because if I’m honest right now I don’t see anything. Right now I can barely stand the sight of her. And what she did to you, you of all people shouldn’t even want to ever talk to her.” He stands up and begins pacing back and forth in front of me.
“That’s where you’re wrong Alex, Isabel loves you and you love her. Sometimes people have to go through the bad and survive it to come out on the other end of it to really appreciate all the good that was always there. As far as Isabel and I, Alex that’s our problem and I would be a hypocrite if I chastised Isabel for lying because that’s exactly what I did to Max for years, I can only pray that he finds it in his heart to forgive me and let me back in.” My voice laced with the hurt I feel inside, I don’t know what I would do if he couldn’t forgive me, I just can’t loose him not again.
Alex stops pacing and stops in front of me before he kneels down to frame my face between his hands.
“Lizzie, Max loves you, he’ll always love you. You hurt him but don’t lose faith in him, don’t give up on him…or you for that matter. You know Liz, Max was the first one at the hospital and he stayed with you until they kicked him out. He would go to that hospital and sit with you for hours just talking to you, he didn’t give up on you Liz, I don’t think he knows how to. Max is dealing with a lot right now and his emotions are all over the board, but don’t mistake his actions as anything but for your benefit okay?” I can’t believe it, Max was there with me all that time? When I woke up and he wasn’t there I was hurt, I truly thought he didn’t care anymore, but now I know I was wrong.
I am a little confused by what Alex is saying to me about Max’s actions, but I guess he just means in general or something.
“Thank you Alex.” I get up from the swing and wrap my arms around him and he returns the gesture.
“Thank you Liz.” I turn to head back inside the house to wait for Max.
“Liz?”
“Yeah?” I turn around slowly.
“Are you going to tell him the truth?” I sigh heavily before I turn back around to walk away.
“Yes.” I say loud enough for it to just reach both our ears. Lord knows he deserves it.
***********************************
Max
I knew that Alex wanted to talk to Liz about him and Isabel. So I’m off to the video store to pick up Liz’s movie. I’m actually a little happy about the fact that she picked a “chick flick” it will be like old times, the good times we had together.
I know I shouldn’t be thinking the way I am, but I can’t help it. I want to spend as much time with her making her feel comfortable then go in for the kill. I already know she’s going to put up one hell of a fight, but maybe I can wear her down before we approach that subject. Terrible I know, but what other choice do I have?
Before I left when she approached me and placed her small palms against my chest and whispered in my ear, I can’t say that I didn’t get chills down my spine. I miss being with her like that, not physical but just joking with her again. It feels good; she could always make me laugh and smile. I know I did that for her too, and I plan on making up for the shit I put her through when I left.
Alex tells me it’s not my fault, but I still feel responsible because I was supposed to be her best friend and I just left her. Now, I’m beginning to wonder what was so bad that she felt like she needed to lie to me. She tells me that Jordan wanted her for something else…but what? I just don’t understand at all, and I’m more confused now.
My cell phone rings for the second time tonight. I tell you what would people do if I didn’t have a cell phone for them to find me on?
“Hello?”
“Hi Max.”
“Oh hey what’s going on?”
“Nothing, I just tried to call Michael but I keep getting his answering machine and then I tried his cell phone but he’s not answering it.”
“Yeah Maria, he um…he’s staying at my place.” I don’t know if I should tell her or if Michael should be the one.
“Is everything okay?”
“What? Oh yeah, I mean you might want to try him there, if he doesn’t answer just leave a message. Is there something you needed?” I ask her trying to change the subject.
“I’ll call him there, but since I have you on the phone I wanted to ask you, if you’ve talked to Liz yet about staying with you.”
“No I haven’t but I’m going to tonight.”
“Good, I think it’s the best thing for her. Max I was also calling for another reason and you can say no or whatever if you think…”
“Maria stop rambling, just ask me.” She’s too much sometimes, but I do love her, how can you not?
“I’m going to be in San Diego in two weeks for a show, but then I’ll be off for a week and I thought that we could all get together one day or something. What do you think?” She so unsure of herself, I can understand why, but assure her it’s okay.
“Maria, I think that’s a great idea, so do we get to see the show too or no?” I’m just teasing her, but she’s really on edge.
“Oh! Of course Max! That’s not what I meant, I just…”
“Calm down Maria, it’s okay, I was only playing with you. But that would be cool, how about I have Michael call you and you can fill him in on the details?”
“Yes, that sounds good to me. So how is Liz doing?”
“She’s much better Maria, I know you want to see her and talk to her, but I don’t want you to worry about that, you just take care of yourself.” I’m worried for her, as soon as I’m done with her I’m going to call Michael just to be sure.
“I know I just want to say I’m sorry.” She says softly.
“I know you do and you will get your chance, but Maria she’s not going to want it or expect it from you.”
“Yeah she’s stubborn one isn’t she? I wonder where she learned that from?”
“Ha ha, very funny, are you trying to say something?”
“Oh no Max, never. Okay I’ll let you go, just say hi to her for me.”
“Sure thing, and I’ll have Michael call you as soon as he can.”
“Thanks Max.”
“Anytime Maria.”
After my conversation with Maria, I quickly called Michael and told him about my conversation with Maria and he assured me he would call her tonight.
I’m headed back to my parent’s house with Liz’s movie; I hope it was enough time for Alex and her to talk.
I enter my parent’s house and see that everyone has retired for the evening, Alex is currently laying on the couch in the living room fast asleep. I guess that answers that question.
I quietly close the front door and head toward the stairs when I hear muffled voices coming from the kitchen, I turn to walk into the kitchen fully but stop when I see my Mom and Liz sitting at the table. I shouldn’t eavesdrop, but I can’t help it.
“…give up. I know my son better than he knows himself, he’s hurt but you mean the world to him. He’s just hurt Liz, you have to give him time.”
“Do you…I mean when I tell him the truth do you think he’ll forgive me? I just want him back in my life, but I’m so scared that he won’t believe me because I’ve lied to him so much.” I can hear Liz crying softly. It hurts so bad for me to see her like that.
“It’s not a matter of him forgiving you Liz, he’s just not going to understand you know Max, he’ll turn it over in his head a thousand times and find a way that you could have told him whatever it is you’re going to tell him.” Before my Mom can say anything else Liz stands up and swipes the tears on her face.
“He shouldn’t you know. I slept with some guy I didn’t even know and got pregnant! I’m a slut and he shouldn’t want to have anything to do with me. I was so stupid and reckless, what was I thinking!” She’s pacing and my Mom comes up behind her and puts her hands on her shoulders to stop her moments.
“Liz, he doesn’t think that, come on you know Max could ever think of you like that.” She’s right, I never would think of Liz like that. Obviously she felt lost and confused and did something she would never normally, but I would never hold that against her.
“Why not! I’m a liar and a whore! Who would want me, I messed everything up and I don’t know how to fix it.” She says and lets out a loud sigh before she turns and walks out the kitchen to head up the stairs. She luckily didn’t see me. After she makes it upstairs to where I can only assume is Damian’s room, since he’ll be sleeping with Isabel until Liz and I leave, I head into the kitchen to find my mother crying.
“Mom?”
“Oh Max, you didn’t hear that did you?” She says while wiping the tears from her eyes. I approach her and wrap my arms around her.
“She’s so broken Max.” She doesn’t have to tell me. One thing is for sure I have to put an end to that line of thinking from Liz right away.
“I know Mom, don’t worry I’ll make her better.”
TBC…
Second Time Around (AU M/L Adult) (Complete)
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Behrsgirl77
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Chapter 30
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Behrsgirl77
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Chapter 31
Michael
After Max called me and told me about Maria, I decided to take a few minutes to decide what exactly to tell her. So now I’m dialing her number hoping she won’t answer, because it’s getting harder and harder not to tell her how I feel about her.
“Hello?” It was so noisy in the background.
“Hi Maria, it’s Michael.”
“Hi! How are you?” She seems pretty upbeat right now, which is good I guess.
“I’m good.” This is awkward, funny because talking to her in person is not as awkward as over the phone.
“So I guess that Max told you about the show in two weeks right? How do you think that sounds? I mean I could get tickets for everyone, Angela and Dariana you know.”
“Yeah he told me about it and it sounds real good Maria. I’ve never seen you live so I’m sure it will be great. But well you don’t have to worry about a ticket for Angela, she won’t be going.”
“Oh, she has a business trip or something? That’s okay I mean maybe next time…” I cut her off.
“There won’t be a next time Maria.” She was quiet for a moment.
“Okay…Michael?” She asks me a little unsure of what she should say next.
“No Maria, it’s okay. I broke off the engagement, I’m staying with Max until she finds a place to live, it was for the better.”
“I’m sorry.” She sounded so sincere that I had to believe she meant it.
“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. We were going in two different directions in our lives, and we weren’t meant to be Maria.”
“Yeah, alright Michael. So I’ll give you a call during the week with all the details.” She was cutting the conversation short.
“Maria are you okay?”
“Of course Michael, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Maria, it’s me. It’s okay if you’re not.” I tell her because I really don’t like the tone of the conversation we are having is in it’s not Maria. Now I know what Max was talking about.
“I’m quitting Michael. After this album and tour I’m done. I don’t want this anymore, it was fun in the beginning but I just…it’s so lonely. I have no one to talk to except my assistant and she doesn’t understand me half the time. I’m not happy, singing used to make me happy and you know that, but lately I can barely manage a smile.” It’s worse than I thought; I wish I was there in front of her to talk to her, to hold her. I’m not good over the phone.
“Are you sure? I mean singing was your life?”
“Yeah I’m sure, it’s time for me to move on and really do something meaningful with my life. I don’t want to live in a bus or hotel for the rest of my life, I want more out of life, I didn’t know I did until…”
“Until what?”
“Nothing Michael, look I have to go. My manager is all pissed off because I blew off the show and told him I was quitting but I’ll call you in a few days to go over everything.”
I want to argue with her right now to be honest but she’s not going to hear it. One of the many plus sides of knowing Maria so well is that I know when I can and cannot push her.
“Okay Maria I’ll talk to later then.”
“Bye Michael.”
Two weeks can come quick enough. I need to know what’s going on with her and why she’s willing to throw away a great career because of a few setbacks.
***********************************
Max
After leaving my mom in the kitchen I headed straight upstairs to Liz. I reach the top of the stairs and walk down the hallway carrying two cherry cokes, a bag of chips and the video I rented.
I can see the door to Damian’s room is partially closed. As I slowly reach it I can hear Liz crying and I hesitate for just a moment before softly pushing open the door and closing it behind me.
I see her laying flat on her stomach with her head buried in the pillow. I guess she heard the click of the door because she quickly snaps her head in my direction and slowly rolls over onto her back and wipes her eyes.
I don’t want to push her right now, so I just pretend like nothing happened…for now.
“So you ready to watch this movie with me Parker?” I place the soda and chips on the nightstand and cross the room to put in the movie. I grab the remote and take a seat next to her on the bed, she is already sitting up with her back against the headboard.
“Yeah Max I’m ready. Are you sure you’re up to it though? I mean haven’t you been out of practice?”
“Very funny Liz, but I will have you know that I am very out of practice.”
“Oh so you mean to tell me that you and Michael don’t get all nostalgic and rent movies secretly and watch them?” She does have a point, in fact Michael and I tried doing that once the but store was so packed we opted to rent a “guy” movie instead of being humiliated on the line.
“No smarty pants we didn’t. In fact we are quite content in not watching these kinds of movies.” I say triumphantly crossing my arms and leaning my back against the headboard next to her.
“Yeah right! Ha! You miss it admit it Evans!”
“Shh Liz the movie is about to start.” I try saying seriously except I can’t remove the smirk off my face and I know she can see it. She turns to face me and pokes my side.
“Admit it.”
“No.” She pokes me again.
“Admit it, you missed it so much.”
“No I didn’t.”
“Yes you did.”
“No I didn’t.”
“Did to.”
“Did not.” She pokes me again and again.
“Did to Max.”
“Did not Liz.” Now it’s my time to torture her, I quickly lift her up and place her on my lap as I sit up and tickle her sides.
“Stop it Max, y-your cheating!”
“I’m cheating, who’s the one that started this huh?”
“Not me, you wouldn’t admit it so it’s your fault.” I tickle her again and she’s wiggling her body above me and once our centers come into contact with one another I quickly lift her off me and deposit her back beside me.
“You win Liz, it was my fault and I will admit that I missed it.” I say trying to break the silence. I can see the pain in her eyes but we can’t fall back into that routine. I didn’t think we could be so comfortable with one another so soon. It’s like no time has passed at all between us. Right now I’m not ready to accept that as the truth, so without another word we both turn and watch the movie.
***********************************
Liz
I can’t say that I’m a little hurt that Max doesn’t want to be near me. I mean we were just messing around, but maybe I was right and he doesn’t want what we had back. He probably just sees me as a pity case and as soon as it’s time for him to go back home, I won’t see him or talk to him, it will be like this moment never happened.
I have made a decision though. No matter what happens between Max and I, I will tell him the truth because he deserves to know and then he can do what he wants at that point.
I hear him laughing next to me at one of the scenes and I turn my attention back to the television and I can clearly understand why he’s laughing so hard. I have to join in the laughter at this point. Right now Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy are going on their honeymoon and they rented a car. Well I’m not so sure I’d call it a car, it’s about the size of a Volkswagen Beetle if you take off the front and back of it. Basically it’s two doors on wheels and it’s yellow and they are driving it down the road yelling at one another and all their bags are smushed behind them. Oh no, now they are run off the road and into a snow bank and their stuck.
“This is so fucking funny. God I hope when I get married my honeymoon starts off better than this.” I stop laughing and turn to look at him.
“What?” He asks me and I can see the smile from his face falls.
“Nothing.” I shake my head. He picks up the remote and stops the movie then turns to face me.
“That wasn’t a nothing Liz so tell me what’s wrong? Did I say something or…”
“No Max, it’s just when you said “when I get married”, I don’t know I mean I can picture you married but when you said it I just realized that one day you will be and we won’t get a chance to have these moments you know?” I look down into my lap suddenly finding it very interesting.
“Liz no matter what I’ll still be here you know that right?” What I want to tell him is that, “yes you’ll be here but you won’t be mine and it won’t be our honeymoon that you’re on” but I don’t.
“Yes Max I know. Thank you.”
“For what Liz? Don’t thank me for things that I want to do.”
“Okay got it, how about we finish the movie?”
“Sounds good.”
***********************************
Max
I try and turn my focus back on the movie but what Liz just said got me thinking and I’m not so sure if it’s a good thing or not.
Marriage. Last year I knew the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with was…Liz. I’m not so sure that answer has changed, because being with her now I feel so free, like I don’t have to pretend or save face for arguments sake. Being with Liz was never work, it was hard at times emotionally but I never regretted it, I never will.
Seeing her face when she told me that she feels like when I get married we won’t get to have moments like these. I felt my heart constrict at the thought of not having times like these or like ones we’ve had in the past. And I know right now, that if Liz and I aren’t together that I could never give her up and anyone that I was with and was willing to marry would have to understand. If they couldn’t then they are not the person for me, because I will not give her up again.
I know the movie is coming to an end which means our conversation is drawing nearer but I have to get a few things out of the way before I even get started.
About twenty minutes later the end credits are scrolling on the screen and I get up to take the movie out. Liz is lying on her back now with her head propped up on the pillow.
“Are you tired Liz?”
“No, actually that nap earlier did wonders for me and I’m sure the soda has a little something to do with it too.” She smiles shyly at me. God she doesn’t even know how beautiful she is or what she does to me when she just looks at me. No. I have to concentrate and say what I need to say. I just hope we don’t wake my parents or anyone else for that matter.
“Yeah me too. So Liz we need to talk.”
“Oh.” She rolls over onto her side and I walk back across the room and lay beside her, sliding down so our eyes meet.
“It’s okay Liz, I just want to talk to you about a few things okay?” She just look at me and nods. Okay now that I have her undivided attention I have no idea what to say or how to say it.
“I…before when I came home with the video I heard you and my mom in the kitchen.” She opened her mouth to say something but then snapped it shut and diverted her eyes to my shoulder.
“Liz look at me.” The tears are falling from her eyes but I resist the urge to wipe them because I need for her to hear what I’m saying.
“Liz, I know you’re hurt and I know that you did things that you normally wouldn’t have done, but don’t ever think that you’re not worth anything…ever. And don’t ever think that I would see you as anything but, amazing, kind and beautiful. Liz you have so much love to offer the world, you just won’t let yourself accept the love that people give to you so freely. I don’t know why and I won’t pretend that I know why but I want you to know that…no matter what I love you and I’ll always be here for you Liz.” She’s crying uncontrollably now and I reach out and pull her towards me and rock her gently.
“Why Max, all I’ve ever done was hurt you. I don’t deserve the love you give to me I don’t deserve anyone’s love Max. I mean my own parents didn’t even want me, they just left me and my foster parents they pretty much disappeared after I graduated high school. There is something wrong with me everyone else sees it why can’t you.”
“Liz there is nothing wrong with you and who else sees it? Not anyone in this house or Michael or Maria, no one but you Liz. You have to let it go and just accept that you can’t change the past but you can learn from it and be something better because of it. Live Liz, you have to just live.” I plead with her.
“I…I don’t know how to Max. I’ve been hiding my feelings for years…Years. It’s not easy accepting things, it’s a hell of a lot easier running from them because that way I don’t have to deal with them.”
“That’s where you’re wrong Liz. Because eventually everything catches up with you, when you least expect it, it will be there. God, don’t you see how special you are?”
“I’m not special Max, you think I’m special why? I have no idea, I mean why me Max? You could have gone after anyone, been with any girl you wanted, why me? Why was I so special?” I pull her back and frame her face with my hands.
“You don’t know do you? It’s simple for me though. From the first time I saw you, I knew that you were someone special. From that first conversation we had when you came over to me and accused me of being a stalker, when you smiled…it was just like something clicked and I knew you were the one for me. You’re more beautiful to me then you could even imagine.” I say stroking her cheeks with my pads of my thumbs. She looks into my eyes and she smiles.
“There’s the Liz Parker I know. I love to see you smile Liz and it breaks my heart to see you cry.”
“Me too.”
“You too what?” I’m a little confused as to what she’s agreeing with.
“I love to see you smile and it breaks my heart to see you cry.” I smile with her and we are slowly being pulled to one another. I quickly glance down to her lips and her to mine, we are no more than a mere breathe away from each other, we close our eyes and I can feel the warm puffs of air against my lips and then like a cold bucket of water I pull away. What the fuck am I doing?!
“I’m so sorry Liz, I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Done what Max? We didn’t do anything.”
“I know but we…almost did and I can’t. I have a girlfriend and I just…can’t. I’m sorry.” She sits up and gets up off the bed.
“Don’t apologize Max, it’s okay. It was wrong but nothing happened. So we’ll leave it at that okay?” I just nod; I can’t even find words right now. If I didn’t stop myself something would have happened and that scares the shit out of me right now.
“I’m just gonna go to the bathroom real quick and I’ll be right back.” Without another word she slips into the bathroom and closes the door. I fall back into the bed with a heavy sigh. Things have just gotten more complicated.
***********************************
Liz
What the hell just happened? I mean one minute Max is telling me how he feels, I mean he said that he knew that I was the one he was supposed to be with, so that means something right?
Wrong.
I was supposed to be with him but I ruined it by lying and keeping my feelings to myself. This has got to stop, I can’t wait until I have a chance to tell him everything, although it’s going to take quite a while to do so, because I know he’s going to have a lot of questions, some that unfortunately I will not have answers for.
We almost kissed, god I wanted to so bad. I wanted to feel like I was his if even for just a moment. When he held me it just felt so right, but it was wrong. He’s right, he has a girlfriend that I’m sure would not be okay with him kissing someone else.
Most importantly though he loves me just as a friend, but he still loves me and that’s more than I could have even hoped for. I know that things will work out they just have to. Something in my life has to work out right?
I’m afraid to go back out there, I don’t know what Max is going to say to me next. I don’t know how to prepare for it because he’s just spontaneous and I can’t read him right now, he’s not letting on anything.
I decide to just suck it up and no matter what he says I’ll take it and deal with it. That is the least I can do for fucking with his head all this time.
I slowly open the door to see him laying on his back, hands tucked under his head and he’s currently staring at the ceiling.
“Hey.” I say softly.
“Hey.”
“Are you okay?” I’m concerned I don’t want him to get confused and think things to death, like he likes to.
“Yeah I’m okay, thanks.”
“So.”
“So.”
“Max is there something else you wanted to talk about or was that it?” No point in beating around the bush.
“Actually yes there is something I want to discuss with you before I head back to the hotel tonight.”
“Okay go ahead.” I take a seat back on the bed beside him and he sits up to face me.
***********************************
Max
If only she knew what I’m about to tell her, I don’t think she would be that eager. I take a deep breath before I begin.
“Liz I need for you to just listen to me and don’t interrupt or ask questions until I’m done okay?’
“Okay Max.”
“Right, okay so I’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow to go back to San Diego. And I want you to come with me. More importantly I want you to leave with me and live with me until my parents move out there in a few months. I’m not trying to tell you what to do or run your life, but I don’t want you staying here with him on the loose, Liz it’s not safe and I won’t let anything happen to you, but I can’t protect you from there. You don’t have to give me an answer right now but just…please think about it.” She looks at me to see if I’m done talking and I simply nod.
“You’re parents are moving?” She’s avoiding the conversation all together with this question but she’s going to approach it at her own pace. She doesn’t go directly to the heart of things because she tries to avoid conflict with me but she will, so I’m just waiting for that bomb to drop.
“Yes they are looking into property and everyone will be moving out there so we can all be near one another. I know that Alex will be moving but not staying with my parents, but he’ll be there too.” I try and say to reassure her or better yet convince her that she needs to come with me.
“I understand your concern Max, but I’ll be fine here, besides you have a girlfriend and I don’t think she’d be okay with me living with you.” Ah she’s trying to use the girlfriend loophole, but not going to work.
“I already talked to her about it and she is okay with it Liz, so that’s not a problem. And you will not be fine here Liz, I mean where will you live?” Doesn’t she see that she can’t stay here; there is nothing here for her.
“Max I’m a big girl and I doubt he’ll come after me again. What’s done is done, and you need to go live your life Max and stop worrying about me. I can find a place to live. ”
“Find a place to live? Is that why you were at the women’s shelter? Oh and then living in the attic?” What the hell is she thinking?
“How did you know that? Isabel told you didn’t she?”
“Yes she did, so if you can find a place to live why didn’t you just leave him?! Why did you stay with that fucking bastard?!”
“Max just a calm down, I stayed at the shelter because he wouldn’t think of looking for me there, it was safe there. But when I found out I was pregnant I didn’t want to stay there I was just confused and lost so I came here to ask for help from your parents, but I ran into Isabel first.”
“That still doesn’t answer my question Liz. Why did you stay with him? Why didn’t you just call me?”
“Because Max, I would have put you in danger and I couldn’t risk it. It wasn’t your fault I put myself in the situation to avoid you, to avoid feeling all of the things I felt for you and it backfired.”
“Liz what the fuck are you talking about? Feelings? What feelings? Did he threaten you or something?” I want to find this son of a bitch and kill him!
“Max there is so much more to this and I don’t want to tell you in bits and pieces, but I can’t go with you because if he finds me with you, he’ll flip out like he did last time.”
“Liz you can’t just tell me that and then leave it at that. Tell me!”
“Fine Max you want to know! He told me that if I didn’t want to see you dead that I would walk away and I did. I had no choice. Max he wasn’t always like that, we were just friends, hell not even that sometimes, Max I lived with him out of convenience.” Okay dead? I don’t even think I want to know what that means, so I’ll get to that in a minute.
“Liz, I still don’t understand, you stayed with him because you were trying to avoid me? Your feelings for me? Why? And why were you with him for so long and never slept with him? I don’t get it at all Liz. None of this makes any sense.” She sighs heavily and walks over to the window and sits on the ledge not facing me and begins speaking.
***********************************
Liz
I thought I was prepared for his questions but I thought they would come later, not today. I don’t have any choice though I have to tell him what he wants to know even if I can’t tell him the whole story, I guess it’s better that he has some answers and he can ask me the rest of his questions when he’s done.
“Max, I never knew how you felt about me. I didn’t know you loved me until last year and I was so scared that I would ruin us if I told you I was in love with you before that, so I lied. When I met Jordan, yes we dated in the beginning but the only reason why I got together with him was because of you. I knew I was falling in love with you and I’ve never been in love and I felt like I would mess it up if I told you.”
“What did you think we were doing when we slept together?”
“I don’t know Max because you never said anything about wanting to be with me, I just figured we were friends…plus. We weren’t in a relationship and we never even discussed it Max. After I got pregnant you were the one that said we couldn’t keep doing it, so what was I supposed to think?”
“Liz friends don’t sleep with each other I mean God Liz! You were the first girl I ever slept with and no we weren’t in a relationship but if you loved me why didn’t you just tell me? You know I wouldn’t have left you. And yes after you got pregnant I said we needed to stop because Liz we weren’t ready but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want the baby you know that don’t you?” I can hear the pain in his voice; I shouldn’t have brought it up. I get up and cross the room to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. I place my hand on his knee and tell him,
“Max, I know that, I know that I was scared at first but I knew you wouldn’t leave me and that you wanted the baby, but it just wasn’t in the cards for us.” He just nods and then speaks again after a few minutes of silence.
“Liz, I said that we shouldn’t sleep together anymore only because I didn’t know how you felt and I knew you were scared when you got pregnant but after almost a year we started again. God Liz! You had to know that I loved you, I didn’t date anyone Liz…No one!” He’s pissed off now and I can understand, we both felt the same way about each other but were too afraid to tell one another, that was both our stupid faults. He gets up and starts pacing in front of me.
“Then I told you I loved you and you lied to me! You made me beg you and you just turned your head and said you loved him! Him! Not me! Why would you do that to me? You still haven’t told me why you said that to me, why you told me you were pregnant with his baby? You knew you were killing me!”
“You were leaving Max and I couldn’t go with you. Max, Jordan and I never slept together because he had a different girl every night. I was his roommate, that’s it. But when you moved to San Diego he just changed, he wanted to know where I was all the time. He was never possessive; there was never a need for him to be because we were not dating. Yes, in the beginning he tried to sleep with me and I will admit I tried to, but then I thought of you and I just couldn’t do that to you. Then his father came to him and told him that he needed to settle down and stop his playboy ways, because if he was planning on taking over the business he couldn’t be seen with the tramps he was sleeping with, he needed better than that or whatever, anyway after that he just became this completely different person. Hell for all I know he was like that, I didn’t see much of him most days so it was no big deal to me. I mean he would use me as a cover for his parents but they saw behind the façade after a few years.”
“Liz, I don’t understand something when you were with me…when we…you know, why did you tell me you broke up with him all those times if you weren’t dating?”
“Max, I’m surprised you didn’t catch on sooner, wasn’t it just convenient that I broke up with him right before I came to see you or saw you?” I know he didn’t see that one, but I was so sure he would have caught on, but I guessed wrong again.
“You’re right, I never paid much attention to that detail, but it makes sense though. It was right in front of my face but I chose to ignore it.”
“No Max, it’s my fault for lying in the first place to you. Anyway when his dad threatened to cut him off he decided that I was going to be his “safe” girl. He could present me to his parents and they would be happy with me. I was very hesitant about it and told him I didn’t think it was a good idea and at first he was okay with it. I told him we can only be friends and that I didn’t want to pretend anymore. One night though he came home he had been drinking and he was sulking. I came home after my shift at the diner, I found him in the living room so I decided to see what was wrong.”
The more I talk about it the more the memories flood my mind, I don’t want to think about them but I don’t have much of a choice.
“Liz?” I turn to look at him he rises from the bed.
“Yeah Max, I’m so sorry you had to deal with that, I should have made you tell me. I should have told you that I loved you sooner, before Jordan even came into the picture.” He says to me with hurt and sadness in his eyes, yes it was both our faults, but I had the answer for everything and I chose to keep it to myself. I now realize how wrong I was, but it’s too late to go back and change it.
“Max this was my fault, not yours and besides you couldn’t have made me do it okay, so just listen.” I say a little impatiently only because I have to get this next part out before I completely break down.
“Okay.”
“He told me about what his father said, and I could tell he was drunk but I tried to tell him that it would be okay, I shouldn’t have bothered though because it all backfired.”
The memory of that night floods back and sends chills down my spine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Okay Liz, what the fuck are you talking about? If I don’t make my father happy he’s going to disown me. Do you know what that means? Do you!”
“Jordan calm down, you’ll figure it out you always do.” I try to comfort him.
“Not this time, who do you think pays the rent to this place? Huh? It’s not me and it’s not you, I can’t survive like that, so you are going to help me.”
“No I’m not Jordan I already told you, when Max comes to town in a couple of months I’m going to tell him how I feel so I can’t pretend with you anymore.”
“No your not, your going to help me, just like I helped you.” I got up from the couch to walk to my bedroom.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
“My room, because right now you’re not even thinking straight and I’m not going to argue about my life and my decisions. I appreciate you helping me but I’m done with it.” He gets up and grabs me by the back of my neck and pushes me against the wall.
“W-what are you doing? Get off me!”
“No! Liz you are going to help me and that’s it! You are just kidding yourself into thinking Max gives a shit about you! He doesn’t love you, you’re his fuck toy and that’s it that’s all you’ll ever be to him.”
“NO! That’s not true, he cares about me and I love him!”
“Wake up Liz! If he cares about you, why hasn’t he asked you to be with him? Huh? Why hasn’t he told you he loves you? You want to know why? Because he doesn’t, all he sees you as is a piece of ass he can get anytime any place. So get over yourself, Max doesn’t want you, it’s been years Liz, years and the man has not confessed his undying love for you, it’s not going to happen.” I was in tears now, what if he’s right what if Max doesn’t feel the same? I am just kidding myself; he can have any girl he wants why would he want me? But I won’t let Jordan win the argument.
“No! You fucking bastard get your hands off me, I’m leaving!” I push him off me but he grabs me by my waist and speaks into my ear.
“This isn’t over and you will not leave me either so get over it.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max
Listening to her relive those moments it just too painful, I’m by her side in an instant. I wrap my arms around her and let her cry into my shoulder. I’m holding back my own tears at this point. When or even if I see that son of a bitch, I’m going to make him suffer a long time for ever laying his hands on her.
“Baby I’m sorry you had to go through that, I wish you would have told me Liz, I would have come and get you, no matter where I was I would come for you.”
“I know Max, he scared me that night but I really thought it was just the alcohol talking. About two weeks later I realized he was not kidding.” I was rubbing her back, I want to know what happened but I don’t push her, I just wait for her to tell me.
“He was drunk again, it was becoming his usual thing, anyway I was doing my laundry and he came home I tried to avoid him by grabbing the laundry out of the drier and into the basket before he entered the kitchen, but I was too late.”
“He walked in the kitchen and asked me where his dinner was. And I told him that I’m not his wife or girlfriend and that if he wanted dinner he could make it himself. He didn’t like that answer and slapped me across my face. I tried to not cry in front of him but it was pointless. I told him I was leaving and that as soon as you got back I was leaving with you. He really didn’t like that response because he slapped me again and then pushed me against the wall, it hurt like hell. My face and back were both on fire, but I stood up and that’s when he told me…” She was hysterical at this point. I can barely understand what she’s trying to tell me. I just wrap my arms around her harder and run my hand up and down her back hoping it will bring her some relief.
“Told you what Liz? What did he tell you?” I don’t know how much longer I can hold out I don’t even want to know anymore, I’m sorry at this point for even asking because of the pain I hear and see coming from her. I would do anything to keep her from that…anything.
“H-he s-said t-that when you come up for the birthday party that if I didn’t tell you to leave, get you to never come back that he…that he…would kill you. I yelled at him and cried and said that he couldn’t do it cause he would be thrown in jail and he told me that he didn’t have to do it, he could just hire someone else and I didn’t know what to say or do, so I told him I would do it and I did.”
“Wait, when I called you the day of the party and then I saw you later you told me that Jordan cheated on you that’s why you were upset? So I don’t…”
“Yes Max, that’s what I said because I was upset and I couldn’t tell you why so I lied thinking that you might believe that I was angry he was cheating on me, so when I cried to you, you wouldn’t get suspicious. Then when I saw you later on and you told me you loved me and you wanted me to go with you, I wanted to say that I loved you and that I wanted to go with you too, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t put your life in danger because of me, so I…I let you go and I told you I was in love with him and was having his baby.”
“I was just going to tell you I was having his baby, thinking that would be enough to get you to leave, but when you told me you loved me, God, I just wanted to hold you and be with you but instead I told you the two things I knew at that moment would make you hate me forever.”
“That you loved him and was having his baby.” I stated and she nodded. I lifted my hands to frame her face and placed a kiss on her forehead.
“You were wrong Liz, you were so wrong. I was hurt…really bad, but I didn’t hate you I could never hate you Liz. I don’t know how to.” I confessed to her. And she looked at me through tear-stained eyes and stepped back from my embrace and wiped the tears from her eyes. I cannot imagine what she went through, I now understand why she was so scared to be in the hospital alone and even to be here in this room alone, she’s absolutely terrified that he’s going to come back now that I’m here.
I know now that I can’t let her go, I can’t leave without her, that I’m still in love with her and more importantly that I don’t want to live without her. All of those things scare the hell out of me, because I don’t know if there can ever be an, us. As much as I want that to be, it doesn’t change the fact that we are both not ready to be together, we have too much to mend between us and even after that point, I wonder if I can be with her without waiting for the next thing to bring us apart to come up.
Right now I have answers to a lot of my questions but they leave me wanting more, mainly because ultimately I can’t help but blame myself for everything. I failed her in so many ways and I don’t know how to fix it. But I’m going to try.
TBC…
Michael
After Max called me and told me about Maria, I decided to take a few minutes to decide what exactly to tell her. So now I’m dialing her number hoping she won’t answer, because it’s getting harder and harder not to tell her how I feel about her.
“Hello?” It was so noisy in the background.
“Hi Maria, it’s Michael.”
“Hi! How are you?” She seems pretty upbeat right now, which is good I guess.
“I’m good.” This is awkward, funny because talking to her in person is not as awkward as over the phone.
“So I guess that Max told you about the show in two weeks right? How do you think that sounds? I mean I could get tickets for everyone, Angela and Dariana you know.”
“Yeah he told me about it and it sounds real good Maria. I’ve never seen you live so I’m sure it will be great. But well you don’t have to worry about a ticket for Angela, she won’t be going.”
“Oh, she has a business trip or something? That’s okay I mean maybe next time…” I cut her off.
“There won’t be a next time Maria.” She was quiet for a moment.
“Okay…Michael?” She asks me a little unsure of what she should say next.
“No Maria, it’s okay. I broke off the engagement, I’m staying with Max until she finds a place to live, it was for the better.”
“I’m sorry.” She sounded so sincere that I had to believe she meant it.
“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. We were going in two different directions in our lives, and we weren’t meant to be Maria.”
“Yeah, alright Michael. So I’ll give you a call during the week with all the details.” She was cutting the conversation short.
“Maria are you okay?”
“Of course Michael, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Maria, it’s me. It’s okay if you’re not.” I tell her because I really don’t like the tone of the conversation we are having is in it’s not Maria. Now I know what Max was talking about.
“I’m quitting Michael. After this album and tour I’m done. I don’t want this anymore, it was fun in the beginning but I just…it’s so lonely. I have no one to talk to except my assistant and she doesn’t understand me half the time. I’m not happy, singing used to make me happy and you know that, but lately I can barely manage a smile.” It’s worse than I thought; I wish I was there in front of her to talk to her, to hold her. I’m not good over the phone.
“Are you sure? I mean singing was your life?”
“Yeah I’m sure, it’s time for me to move on and really do something meaningful with my life. I don’t want to live in a bus or hotel for the rest of my life, I want more out of life, I didn’t know I did until…”
“Until what?”
“Nothing Michael, look I have to go. My manager is all pissed off because I blew off the show and told him I was quitting but I’ll call you in a few days to go over everything.”
I want to argue with her right now to be honest but she’s not going to hear it. One of the many plus sides of knowing Maria so well is that I know when I can and cannot push her.
“Okay Maria I’ll talk to later then.”
“Bye Michael.”
Two weeks can come quick enough. I need to know what’s going on with her and why she’s willing to throw away a great career because of a few setbacks.
***********************************
Max
After leaving my mom in the kitchen I headed straight upstairs to Liz. I reach the top of the stairs and walk down the hallway carrying two cherry cokes, a bag of chips and the video I rented.
I can see the door to Damian’s room is partially closed. As I slowly reach it I can hear Liz crying and I hesitate for just a moment before softly pushing open the door and closing it behind me.
I see her laying flat on her stomach with her head buried in the pillow. I guess she heard the click of the door because she quickly snaps her head in my direction and slowly rolls over onto her back and wipes her eyes.
I don’t want to push her right now, so I just pretend like nothing happened…for now.
“So you ready to watch this movie with me Parker?” I place the soda and chips on the nightstand and cross the room to put in the movie. I grab the remote and take a seat next to her on the bed, she is already sitting up with her back against the headboard.
“Yeah Max I’m ready. Are you sure you’re up to it though? I mean haven’t you been out of practice?”
“Very funny Liz, but I will have you know that I am very out of practice.”
“Oh so you mean to tell me that you and Michael don’t get all nostalgic and rent movies secretly and watch them?” She does have a point, in fact Michael and I tried doing that once the but store was so packed we opted to rent a “guy” movie instead of being humiliated on the line.
“No smarty pants we didn’t. In fact we are quite content in not watching these kinds of movies.” I say triumphantly crossing my arms and leaning my back against the headboard next to her.
“Yeah right! Ha! You miss it admit it Evans!”
“Shh Liz the movie is about to start.” I try saying seriously except I can’t remove the smirk off my face and I know she can see it. She turns to face me and pokes my side.
“Admit it.”
“No.” She pokes me again.
“Admit it, you missed it so much.”
“No I didn’t.”
“Yes you did.”
“No I didn’t.”
“Did to.”
“Did not.” She pokes me again and again.
“Did to Max.”
“Did not Liz.” Now it’s my time to torture her, I quickly lift her up and place her on my lap as I sit up and tickle her sides.
“Stop it Max, y-your cheating!”
“I’m cheating, who’s the one that started this huh?”
“Not me, you wouldn’t admit it so it’s your fault.” I tickle her again and she’s wiggling her body above me and once our centers come into contact with one another I quickly lift her off me and deposit her back beside me.
“You win Liz, it was my fault and I will admit that I missed it.” I say trying to break the silence. I can see the pain in her eyes but we can’t fall back into that routine. I didn’t think we could be so comfortable with one another so soon. It’s like no time has passed at all between us. Right now I’m not ready to accept that as the truth, so without another word we both turn and watch the movie.
***********************************
Liz
I can’t say that I’m a little hurt that Max doesn’t want to be near me. I mean we were just messing around, but maybe I was right and he doesn’t want what we had back. He probably just sees me as a pity case and as soon as it’s time for him to go back home, I won’t see him or talk to him, it will be like this moment never happened.
I have made a decision though. No matter what happens between Max and I, I will tell him the truth because he deserves to know and then he can do what he wants at that point.
I hear him laughing next to me at one of the scenes and I turn my attention back to the television and I can clearly understand why he’s laughing so hard. I have to join in the laughter at this point. Right now Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy are going on their honeymoon and they rented a car. Well I’m not so sure I’d call it a car, it’s about the size of a Volkswagen Beetle if you take off the front and back of it. Basically it’s two doors on wheels and it’s yellow and they are driving it down the road yelling at one another and all their bags are smushed behind them. Oh no, now they are run off the road and into a snow bank and their stuck.
“This is so fucking funny. God I hope when I get married my honeymoon starts off better than this.” I stop laughing and turn to look at him.
“What?” He asks me and I can see the smile from his face falls.
“Nothing.” I shake my head. He picks up the remote and stops the movie then turns to face me.
“That wasn’t a nothing Liz so tell me what’s wrong? Did I say something or…”
“No Max, it’s just when you said “when I get married”, I don’t know I mean I can picture you married but when you said it I just realized that one day you will be and we won’t get a chance to have these moments you know?” I look down into my lap suddenly finding it very interesting.
“Liz no matter what I’ll still be here you know that right?” What I want to tell him is that, “yes you’ll be here but you won’t be mine and it won’t be our honeymoon that you’re on” but I don’t.
“Yes Max I know. Thank you.”
“For what Liz? Don’t thank me for things that I want to do.”
“Okay got it, how about we finish the movie?”
“Sounds good.”
***********************************
Max
I try and turn my focus back on the movie but what Liz just said got me thinking and I’m not so sure if it’s a good thing or not.
Marriage. Last year I knew the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with was…Liz. I’m not so sure that answer has changed, because being with her now I feel so free, like I don’t have to pretend or save face for arguments sake. Being with Liz was never work, it was hard at times emotionally but I never regretted it, I never will.
Seeing her face when she told me that she feels like when I get married we won’t get to have moments like these. I felt my heart constrict at the thought of not having times like these or like ones we’ve had in the past. And I know right now, that if Liz and I aren’t together that I could never give her up and anyone that I was with and was willing to marry would have to understand. If they couldn’t then they are not the person for me, because I will not give her up again.
I know the movie is coming to an end which means our conversation is drawing nearer but I have to get a few things out of the way before I even get started.
About twenty minutes later the end credits are scrolling on the screen and I get up to take the movie out. Liz is lying on her back now with her head propped up on the pillow.
“Are you tired Liz?”
“No, actually that nap earlier did wonders for me and I’m sure the soda has a little something to do with it too.” She smiles shyly at me. God she doesn’t even know how beautiful she is or what she does to me when she just looks at me. No. I have to concentrate and say what I need to say. I just hope we don’t wake my parents or anyone else for that matter.
“Yeah me too. So Liz we need to talk.”
“Oh.” She rolls over onto her side and I walk back across the room and lay beside her, sliding down so our eyes meet.
“It’s okay Liz, I just want to talk to you about a few things okay?” She just look at me and nods. Okay now that I have her undivided attention I have no idea what to say or how to say it.
“I…before when I came home with the video I heard you and my mom in the kitchen.” She opened her mouth to say something but then snapped it shut and diverted her eyes to my shoulder.
“Liz look at me.” The tears are falling from her eyes but I resist the urge to wipe them because I need for her to hear what I’m saying.
“Liz, I know you’re hurt and I know that you did things that you normally wouldn’t have done, but don’t ever think that you’re not worth anything…ever. And don’t ever think that I would see you as anything but, amazing, kind and beautiful. Liz you have so much love to offer the world, you just won’t let yourself accept the love that people give to you so freely. I don’t know why and I won’t pretend that I know why but I want you to know that…no matter what I love you and I’ll always be here for you Liz.” She’s crying uncontrollably now and I reach out and pull her towards me and rock her gently.
“Why Max, all I’ve ever done was hurt you. I don’t deserve the love you give to me I don’t deserve anyone’s love Max. I mean my own parents didn’t even want me, they just left me and my foster parents they pretty much disappeared after I graduated high school. There is something wrong with me everyone else sees it why can’t you.”
“Liz there is nothing wrong with you and who else sees it? Not anyone in this house or Michael or Maria, no one but you Liz. You have to let it go and just accept that you can’t change the past but you can learn from it and be something better because of it. Live Liz, you have to just live.” I plead with her.
“I…I don’t know how to Max. I’ve been hiding my feelings for years…Years. It’s not easy accepting things, it’s a hell of a lot easier running from them because that way I don’t have to deal with them.”
“That’s where you’re wrong Liz. Because eventually everything catches up with you, when you least expect it, it will be there. God, don’t you see how special you are?”
“I’m not special Max, you think I’m special why? I have no idea, I mean why me Max? You could have gone after anyone, been with any girl you wanted, why me? Why was I so special?” I pull her back and frame her face with my hands.
“You don’t know do you? It’s simple for me though. From the first time I saw you, I knew that you were someone special. From that first conversation we had when you came over to me and accused me of being a stalker, when you smiled…it was just like something clicked and I knew you were the one for me. You’re more beautiful to me then you could even imagine.” I say stroking her cheeks with my pads of my thumbs. She looks into my eyes and she smiles.
“There’s the Liz Parker I know. I love to see you smile Liz and it breaks my heart to see you cry.”
“Me too.”
“You too what?” I’m a little confused as to what she’s agreeing with.
“I love to see you smile and it breaks my heart to see you cry.” I smile with her and we are slowly being pulled to one another. I quickly glance down to her lips and her to mine, we are no more than a mere breathe away from each other, we close our eyes and I can feel the warm puffs of air against my lips and then like a cold bucket of water I pull away. What the fuck am I doing?!
“I’m so sorry Liz, I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Done what Max? We didn’t do anything.”
“I know but we…almost did and I can’t. I have a girlfriend and I just…can’t. I’m sorry.” She sits up and gets up off the bed.
“Don’t apologize Max, it’s okay. It was wrong but nothing happened. So we’ll leave it at that okay?” I just nod; I can’t even find words right now. If I didn’t stop myself something would have happened and that scares the shit out of me right now.
“I’m just gonna go to the bathroom real quick and I’ll be right back.” Without another word she slips into the bathroom and closes the door. I fall back into the bed with a heavy sigh. Things have just gotten more complicated.
***********************************
Liz
What the hell just happened? I mean one minute Max is telling me how he feels, I mean he said that he knew that I was the one he was supposed to be with, so that means something right?
Wrong.
I was supposed to be with him but I ruined it by lying and keeping my feelings to myself. This has got to stop, I can’t wait until I have a chance to tell him everything, although it’s going to take quite a while to do so, because I know he’s going to have a lot of questions, some that unfortunately I will not have answers for.
We almost kissed, god I wanted to so bad. I wanted to feel like I was his if even for just a moment. When he held me it just felt so right, but it was wrong. He’s right, he has a girlfriend that I’m sure would not be okay with him kissing someone else.
Most importantly though he loves me just as a friend, but he still loves me and that’s more than I could have even hoped for. I know that things will work out they just have to. Something in my life has to work out right?
I’m afraid to go back out there, I don’t know what Max is going to say to me next. I don’t know how to prepare for it because he’s just spontaneous and I can’t read him right now, he’s not letting on anything.
I decide to just suck it up and no matter what he says I’ll take it and deal with it. That is the least I can do for fucking with his head all this time.
I slowly open the door to see him laying on his back, hands tucked under his head and he’s currently staring at the ceiling.
“Hey.” I say softly.
“Hey.”
“Are you okay?” I’m concerned I don’t want him to get confused and think things to death, like he likes to.
“Yeah I’m okay, thanks.”
“So.”
“So.”
“Max is there something else you wanted to talk about or was that it?” No point in beating around the bush.
“Actually yes there is something I want to discuss with you before I head back to the hotel tonight.”
“Okay go ahead.” I take a seat back on the bed beside him and he sits up to face me.
***********************************
Max
If only she knew what I’m about to tell her, I don’t think she would be that eager. I take a deep breath before I begin.
“Liz I need for you to just listen to me and don’t interrupt or ask questions until I’m done okay?’
“Okay Max.”
“Right, okay so I’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow to go back to San Diego. And I want you to come with me. More importantly I want you to leave with me and live with me until my parents move out there in a few months. I’m not trying to tell you what to do or run your life, but I don’t want you staying here with him on the loose, Liz it’s not safe and I won’t let anything happen to you, but I can’t protect you from there. You don’t have to give me an answer right now but just…please think about it.” She looks at me to see if I’m done talking and I simply nod.
“You’re parents are moving?” She’s avoiding the conversation all together with this question but she’s going to approach it at her own pace. She doesn’t go directly to the heart of things because she tries to avoid conflict with me but she will, so I’m just waiting for that bomb to drop.
“Yes they are looking into property and everyone will be moving out there so we can all be near one another. I know that Alex will be moving but not staying with my parents, but he’ll be there too.” I try and say to reassure her or better yet convince her that she needs to come with me.
“I understand your concern Max, but I’ll be fine here, besides you have a girlfriend and I don’t think she’d be okay with me living with you.” Ah she’s trying to use the girlfriend loophole, but not going to work.
“I already talked to her about it and she is okay with it Liz, so that’s not a problem. And you will not be fine here Liz, I mean where will you live?” Doesn’t she see that she can’t stay here; there is nothing here for her.
“Max I’m a big girl and I doubt he’ll come after me again. What’s done is done, and you need to go live your life Max and stop worrying about me. I can find a place to live. ”
“Find a place to live? Is that why you were at the women’s shelter? Oh and then living in the attic?” What the hell is she thinking?
“How did you know that? Isabel told you didn’t she?”
“Yes she did, so if you can find a place to live why didn’t you just leave him?! Why did you stay with that fucking bastard?!”
“Max just a calm down, I stayed at the shelter because he wouldn’t think of looking for me there, it was safe there. But when I found out I was pregnant I didn’t want to stay there I was just confused and lost so I came here to ask for help from your parents, but I ran into Isabel first.”
“That still doesn’t answer my question Liz. Why did you stay with him? Why didn’t you just call me?”
“Because Max, I would have put you in danger and I couldn’t risk it. It wasn’t your fault I put myself in the situation to avoid you, to avoid feeling all of the things I felt for you and it backfired.”
“Liz what the fuck are you talking about? Feelings? What feelings? Did he threaten you or something?” I want to find this son of a bitch and kill him!
“Max there is so much more to this and I don’t want to tell you in bits and pieces, but I can’t go with you because if he finds me with you, he’ll flip out like he did last time.”
“Liz you can’t just tell me that and then leave it at that. Tell me!”
“Fine Max you want to know! He told me that if I didn’t want to see you dead that I would walk away and I did. I had no choice. Max he wasn’t always like that, we were just friends, hell not even that sometimes, Max I lived with him out of convenience.” Okay dead? I don’t even think I want to know what that means, so I’ll get to that in a minute.
“Liz, I still don’t understand, you stayed with him because you were trying to avoid me? Your feelings for me? Why? And why were you with him for so long and never slept with him? I don’t get it at all Liz. None of this makes any sense.” She sighs heavily and walks over to the window and sits on the ledge not facing me and begins speaking.
***********************************
Liz
I thought I was prepared for his questions but I thought they would come later, not today. I don’t have any choice though I have to tell him what he wants to know even if I can’t tell him the whole story, I guess it’s better that he has some answers and he can ask me the rest of his questions when he’s done.
“Max, I never knew how you felt about me. I didn’t know you loved me until last year and I was so scared that I would ruin us if I told you I was in love with you before that, so I lied. When I met Jordan, yes we dated in the beginning but the only reason why I got together with him was because of you. I knew I was falling in love with you and I’ve never been in love and I felt like I would mess it up if I told you.”
“What did you think we were doing when we slept together?”
“I don’t know Max because you never said anything about wanting to be with me, I just figured we were friends…plus. We weren’t in a relationship and we never even discussed it Max. After I got pregnant you were the one that said we couldn’t keep doing it, so what was I supposed to think?”
“Liz friends don’t sleep with each other I mean God Liz! You were the first girl I ever slept with and no we weren’t in a relationship but if you loved me why didn’t you just tell me? You know I wouldn’t have left you. And yes after you got pregnant I said we needed to stop because Liz we weren’t ready but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want the baby you know that don’t you?” I can hear the pain in his voice; I shouldn’t have brought it up. I get up and cross the room to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. I place my hand on his knee and tell him,
“Max, I know that, I know that I was scared at first but I knew you wouldn’t leave me and that you wanted the baby, but it just wasn’t in the cards for us.” He just nods and then speaks again after a few minutes of silence.
“Liz, I said that we shouldn’t sleep together anymore only because I didn’t know how you felt and I knew you were scared when you got pregnant but after almost a year we started again. God Liz! You had to know that I loved you, I didn’t date anyone Liz…No one!” He’s pissed off now and I can understand, we both felt the same way about each other but were too afraid to tell one another, that was both our stupid faults. He gets up and starts pacing in front of me.
“Then I told you I loved you and you lied to me! You made me beg you and you just turned your head and said you loved him! Him! Not me! Why would you do that to me? You still haven’t told me why you said that to me, why you told me you were pregnant with his baby? You knew you were killing me!”
“You were leaving Max and I couldn’t go with you. Max, Jordan and I never slept together because he had a different girl every night. I was his roommate, that’s it. But when you moved to San Diego he just changed, he wanted to know where I was all the time. He was never possessive; there was never a need for him to be because we were not dating. Yes, in the beginning he tried to sleep with me and I will admit I tried to, but then I thought of you and I just couldn’t do that to you. Then his father came to him and told him that he needed to settle down and stop his playboy ways, because if he was planning on taking over the business he couldn’t be seen with the tramps he was sleeping with, he needed better than that or whatever, anyway after that he just became this completely different person. Hell for all I know he was like that, I didn’t see much of him most days so it was no big deal to me. I mean he would use me as a cover for his parents but they saw behind the façade after a few years.”
“Liz, I don’t understand something when you were with me…when we…you know, why did you tell me you broke up with him all those times if you weren’t dating?”
“Max, I’m surprised you didn’t catch on sooner, wasn’t it just convenient that I broke up with him right before I came to see you or saw you?” I know he didn’t see that one, but I was so sure he would have caught on, but I guessed wrong again.
“You’re right, I never paid much attention to that detail, but it makes sense though. It was right in front of my face but I chose to ignore it.”
“No Max, it’s my fault for lying in the first place to you. Anyway when his dad threatened to cut him off he decided that I was going to be his “safe” girl. He could present me to his parents and they would be happy with me. I was very hesitant about it and told him I didn’t think it was a good idea and at first he was okay with it. I told him we can only be friends and that I didn’t want to pretend anymore. One night though he came home he had been drinking and he was sulking. I came home after my shift at the diner, I found him in the living room so I decided to see what was wrong.”
The more I talk about it the more the memories flood my mind, I don’t want to think about them but I don’t have much of a choice.
“Liz?” I turn to look at him he rises from the bed.
“Yeah Max, I’m so sorry you had to deal with that, I should have made you tell me. I should have told you that I loved you sooner, before Jordan even came into the picture.” He says to me with hurt and sadness in his eyes, yes it was both our faults, but I had the answer for everything and I chose to keep it to myself. I now realize how wrong I was, but it’s too late to go back and change it.
“Max this was my fault, not yours and besides you couldn’t have made me do it okay, so just listen.” I say a little impatiently only because I have to get this next part out before I completely break down.
“Okay.”
“He told me about what his father said, and I could tell he was drunk but I tried to tell him that it would be okay, I shouldn’t have bothered though because it all backfired.”
The memory of that night floods back and sends chills down my spine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Okay Liz, what the fuck are you talking about? If I don’t make my father happy he’s going to disown me. Do you know what that means? Do you!”
“Jordan calm down, you’ll figure it out you always do.” I try to comfort him.
“Not this time, who do you think pays the rent to this place? Huh? It’s not me and it’s not you, I can’t survive like that, so you are going to help me.”
“No I’m not Jordan I already told you, when Max comes to town in a couple of months I’m going to tell him how I feel so I can’t pretend with you anymore.”
“No your not, your going to help me, just like I helped you.” I got up from the couch to walk to my bedroom.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
“My room, because right now you’re not even thinking straight and I’m not going to argue about my life and my decisions. I appreciate you helping me but I’m done with it.” He gets up and grabs me by the back of my neck and pushes me against the wall.
“W-what are you doing? Get off me!”
“No! Liz you are going to help me and that’s it! You are just kidding yourself into thinking Max gives a shit about you! He doesn’t love you, you’re his fuck toy and that’s it that’s all you’ll ever be to him.”
“NO! That’s not true, he cares about me and I love him!”
“Wake up Liz! If he cares about you, why hasn’t he asked you to be with him? Huh? Why hasn’t he told you he loves you? You want to know why? Because he doesn’t, all he sees you as is a piece of ass he can get anytime any place. So get over yourself, Max doesn’t want you, it’s been years Liz, years and the man has not confessed his undying love for you, it’s not going to happen.” I was in tears now, what if he’s right what if Max doesn’t feel the same? I am just kidding myself; he can have any girl he wants why would he want me? But I won’t let Jordan win the argument.
“No! You fucking bastard get your hands off me, I’m leaving!” I push him off me but he grabs me by my waist and speaks into my ear.
“This isn’t over and you will not leave me either so get over it.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max
Listening to her relive those moments it just too painful, I’m by her side in an instant. I wrap my arms around her and let her cry into my shoulder. I’m holding back my own tears at this point. When or even if I see that son of a bitch, I’m going to make him suffer a long time for ever laying his hands on her.
“Baby I’m sorry you had to go through that, I wish you would have told me Liz, I would have come and get you, no matter where I was I would come for you.”
“I know Max, he scared me that night but I really thought it was just the alcohol talking. About two weeks later I realized he was not kidding.” I was rubbing her back, I want to know what happened but I don’t push her, I just wait for her to tell me.
“He was drunk again, it was becoming his usual thing, anyway I was doing my laundry and he came home I tried to avoid him by grabbing the laundry out of the drier and into the basket before he entered the kitchen, but I was too late.”
“He walked in the kitchen and asked me where his dinner was. And I told him that I’m not his wife or girlfriend and that if he wanted dinner he could make it himself. He didn’t like that answer and slapped me across my face. I tried to not cry in front of him but it was pointless. I told him I was leaving and that as soon as you got back I was leaving with you. He really didn’t like that response because he slapped me again and then pushed me against the wall, it hurt like hell. My face and back were both on fire, but I stood up and that’s when he told me…” She was hysterical at this point. I can barely understand what she’s trying to tell me. I just wrap my arms around her harder and run my hand up and down her back hoping it will bring her some relief.
“Told you what Liz? What did he tell you?” I don’t know how much longer I can hold out I don’t even want to know anymore, I’m sorry at this point for even asking because of the pain I hear and see coming from her. I would do anything to keep her from that…anything.
“H-he s-said t-that when you come up for the birthday party that if I didn’t tell you to leave, get you to never come back that he…that he…would kill you. I yelled at him and cried and said that he couldn’t do it cause he would be thrown in jail and he told me that he didn’t have to do it, he could just hire someone else and I didn’t know what to say or do, so I told him I would do it and I did.”
“Wait, when I called you the day of the party and then I saw you later you told me that Jordan cheated on you that’s why you were upset? So I don’t…”
“Yes Max, that’s what I said because I was upset and I couldn’t tell you why so I lied thinking that you might believe that I was angry he was cheating on me, so when I cried to you, you wouldn’t get suspicious. Then when I saw you later on and you told me you loved me and you wanted me to go with you, I wanted to say that I loved you and that I wanted to go with you too, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t put your life in danger because of me, so I…I let you go and I told you I was in love with him and was having his baby.”
“I was just going to tell you I was having his baby, thinking that would be enough to get you to leave, but when you told me you loved me, God, I just wanted to hold you and be with you but instead I told you the two things I knew at that moment would make you hate me forever.”
“That you loved him and was having his baby.” I stated and she nodded. I lifted my hands to frame her face and placed a kiss on her forehead.
“You were wrong Liz, you were so wrong. I was hurt…really bad, but I didn’t hate you I could never hate you Liz. I don’t know how to.” I confessed to her. And she looked at me through tear-stained eyes and stepped back from my embrace and wiped the tears from her eyes. I cannot imagine what she went through, I now understand why she was so scared to be in the hospital alone and even to be here in this room alone, she’s absolutely terrified that he’s going to come back now that I’m here.
I know now that I can’t let her go, I can’t leave without her, that I’m still in love with her and more importantly that I don’t want to live without her. All of those things scare the hell out of me, because I don’t know if there can ever be an, us. As much as I want that to be, it doesn’t change the fact that we are both not ready to be together, we have too much to mend between us and even after that point, I wonder if I can be with her without waiting for the next thing to bring us apart to come up.
Right now I have answers to a lot of my questions but they leave me wanting more, mainly because ultimately I can’t help but blame myself for everything. I failed her in so many ways and I don’t know how to fix it. But I’m going to try.
TBC…
Last edited by Behrsgirl77 on Wed Sep 29, 2004 5:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Behrsgirl77
- Obsessed Roswellian
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Chapter 32 & A/N
Chapter 32
Max
After my conversation with Liz I told her that she could think about what I asked her and give me her answer in the morning. I didn’t want to leave her but I have a lot to think about, as does she.
I make it back to my hotel room by eleven thirty, I still need to make some phone calls, one to Michael and one to Dariana.
It’s really hard trying to determine my feelings. On one hand, I love Liz. There is no question about that but then there is Dariana, she’s been there for me and she supports me daily. She may not always agree with my feelings but she stands beside me.
Liz, I love that girl more than anything, she is my heart, and even though we both played our parts in the downfall of our relationship, she lied to me and used everything she knew about me, against me. I think that’s what hurts the most, I know she says she had no choice, but to me she did. She could have told me what was going on, but it’s like she didn’t trust me to protect her or…I just don’t know anymore.
She could have told me, she should have told me. It makes me wonder though if what happened with Jordan and the baby never happened, would she have told me? That’s what scares me the most. I know that I should have told her how I felt, that was my biggest mistake. Adding to the fact that Isabel put her two cents into Liz’s mind frame in telling me anything, which I have not let go unnoticed in anyway. I just don’t know what to do about Isabel at this point.
I try and put my trust in Liz but she hasn’t shown me I should be doing that. That’s why I’m so confused, I still have more questions for her but they can wait for right now. At least for now, I believe, when it comes to the past she will tell me the truth, I can only hope that in moving forward, she does the same.
I call Michael first, just to see how things are going.
“Hey Michael how’s everything?”
“It’s good, oh hey, I talked to Maria.”
“You did? That’s good, is she okay?”
“Honestly I don’t know, it’s hard to tell over the phone you know, if she was standing in front of me I would know for sure. She invited us to her show in two weeks.”
“Yeah I know, she told me about it. So anything else going on?”
“No, except Dariana fucking walked in on me getting changed this morning.”
“What?! God! Michael I’m sorry, I’m going to call her in a few minutes and tell her to leave the key on the table before she leaves. It’s only going to get worse when Liz gets there and you guys need your privacy.”
“Maxwell, you don’t have to apologize to me, but taking the key away would be greatly appreciated. So how’d things go with Liz?”
“That’s really a complicated question.” I answer him dryly.
“Really? What happened?”
“I talked to her and asked her to come, she’s going to think about it overnight and give me her answer tomorrow, but she told me about her and Jordan. I mean the things she told me…I had no idea were happening right in front of my face.”
“What kinds of things?” Michael asked concerned for me and for Liz, he knows the struggle I deal with everyday and he can sympathize. I honestly don’t know what I would do without him. So for the next forty-five minutes I tell him everything I’ve learned about Liz.
“Damn, that’s some crazy shit Maxwell. I feel bad for her, but as soon as she gets here we’ll help her. I just don’t understand why she didn’t tell you when it first happened.”
“That makes two of us Michael, I really don’t know and honestly at this point I don’t think she does either.”
“Alright look call me tomorrow and let me know what’s going on, I’m a let you go now and call Dariana. Night.”
“I will, I’m going over to Mom and Dad’s tomorrow morning after I wake up and see what she wants to do, not that I will accept anything less than her coming with me but I can hope can’t I?”
“That you can.”
“Oh, before I forget, is everything at the office okay?”
“Yes, it’s good El Capitan. You have those meetings on Friday so you need to get your ass in gear and get back home though.”
“Yeah, yeah I know. Alright Michael, talk to you tomorrow.”
“Bye.”
Well that was the easy conversation, now comes the much harder one.
“Hello?”
“Hey babe how’s everything going?”
“Max! Hi, I didn’t expect to hear from you until tomorrow.”
“Why not? I told you I was going to call you didn’t I, besides it is tomorrow?”
“Oh yeah that’s right, I guess I forgot.” Did I miss something? There has not been a time that she forgets I said I was going to call?
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing why do you ask sweetie.”
“Because you don’t sound…are you drunk?”
“No I just had a few drinks tonight at Joey’s and that’s it.”
“Since when do you go to bars to drink…alone?”
“Since my boyfriend decides he’s going to leave me for weeks at a time and calls when he feels it’s convenient for him.” She says sarcastically.
“What the hell does that mean? You know why I’ve been gone so don’t pretend like I’m doing shit behind your back!”
“Whatever!” She yells into the phone.
“Look, I didn’t call to argue with you.” I sigh she is so infuriating sometimes.
“What did you call for? It’s not to tell me you love me or miss me so what for then?”
“Dari, don’t be like that. I told you I’m not there yet so don’t push me. I called to tell you that I talked to Liz and she’s going to give me her answer tomorrow and I will probably leave the day after if not tomorrow night depending on how everything goes.”
“So she didn’t say yes? How are you making all these plans and you don’t even have an answer yet?”
“Because the only answer I will accept is yes.”
“And if she says no?”
“Then I will physically drag her to San Diego. Now how about tomorrow afternoon when you’re all sober you call me?”
“Alright, bye Max.”
“Bye Dari.”
God! Her telephone conversations are becoming more and more of a hassle with each passing day.
I’m beginning to wonder if they always have and I never realized it or if it’s just been a long day. Guess I’ll find out soon enough huh?
Shit! I forgot to tell her about the key! That should make for some serious afternoon conversation tomorrow. Right now I can’t think about that though. I’m about to pass out from sleep deprivation.
***********************************
Liz
What should I do?
Should I go?
Should I stay?
Should I run away and hide?
That last one is sounding kind of good at this hour. I’m so tired but I can’t sleep. I’ve been tossing and turning for the last hour and a half.
Don’t get me wrong, I want to go with Max; there is no question about that. I want to be with him and if it’s just friends then that’s what I’ll take. Besides if I’m honest, I have money saved but it’s only enough for about three months rent for an apartment in Roswell. I can’t survive after that, so yes it is the best option.
I mean it’s only a few months right? Then everyone else will be out there, and Michael is already there.
And so is Max’s girlfriend. I’ve never met the girl and I hate her already. I’m not usually like this at all, I can usually get along with anyone that is only after I come out of my shell, but still.
Now though I think about him and her and I just feel sick. I know he’s probably slept with her and if they haven’t then she’s got bigger problems than me. God! What if I’m there and I see them? Oh, I need to focus on something else because this line of thinking is just not working.
Tonight when Max told me that he couldn’t hate me, I thought my heart was going to burst. I know I hurt him, I know I should have told him about Jordan sooner but I didn’t know how. I just felt stupid for even staying with him and pretending to be dating him and now Max knows the truth anyway, so it was all for nothing. I was hiding behind Jordan all that time and I wasted all the love Max had for me. I know that when he told me that he loves me, that he means as a friend because there is absolutely no way he could have meant it any other way.
Not after the way I treated him. I know I broke his trust, just like Isabel. He is very forgiving but he’s not the type of person to trust easily. I think that above all else I’m afraid he will never trust me again, I’m afraid we won’t get our friendship back to where it was. Sad part is I need it to survive, I was barely hanging on without him this past year he doesn’t know it, I don’t think that’s something I will tell him right away, he needs time to deal with everything else.
I wonder what his girlfriend is like. She obviously knows about me, but how much does she know? Does she know we were just friends? More than friends? That we created a baby together?
Probably not, if I know Max, he keeps his private life very private especially when it comes to me, so he probably just told her we were best friends and left it at that.
The baby.
That has been a topic that has been on my mind for the last couple of days. I often wonder where Max and I would be if I didn’t miscarry. Would we be together, happy in love or just friends with a baby? I like to hope that we would be together happily in love and maybe even married.
That’s not to say that I believe people should have babies to make their relationships work, not in the least. I guess a better way to say it is, when I found out I was pregnant, something changed in Max, he was genuinely happy about it. He was scared but so excited. I just know that if I had stayed pregnant we would have had to admit our feelings for each other, instead of hiding them from one another.
I know I broke his heart by telling him I was pregnant with Jordan’s baby, but it was the only way I knew I could get him to leave me. I now know the best thing I could have done for everyone is tell Max the truth that day, he would have taken me away and kept me safe.
There’s a reason why I didn’t and I don’t think I realized it until this moment. It was because he was always there for me, always looking out for me, doing everything in his power to make me happy. I didn’t do anything for him, but I could let him go so he could finally start living his life, without me as his burden to carry.
I can’t change it now; like Max says, all I can do is live or at least try to.
***********************************
Max
Thankfully I was able to get a few hours of sleep last night. This morning after my shower I’m headed over to my parent’s house for Liz’s answer. I really hope what I told her last night had a chance to sink in otherwise it’s really going to be a battle today.
After my shower I head straight to my parents house when I walk through the front door however it’s a scene I was not expecting.
“I don’t know! I already told you I didn’t do anything! I have no idea where she went!” I can hear yelling as I enter the front door, it’s coming from the living room.
“Isabel stop yelling.”
“Mom, I swear I don’t know where she is.” I see my sister crying to my mom.
“I know honey, just calm down. Maybe it would be best if you went out back for a little while and I’ll go call Max.”
“What the hell is going on?”
“Max! God! Honey, its Liz, we don’t know where she is.”
“What?! What do you mean, did you check upstairs or in back yard?!”
“Yes, we checked the whole house even the attic and she’s not there Max.”
“Did she leave a note somewhere and you just missed it? Because Liz wouldn’t just up and leave like that without telling anyone.” Would she? This is the last thing I need, what if Jordan found her, what if she’s in trouble, and I have no idea where to begin to look for her. My father must see the panicked look on my face because he approaches me instantly and puts his arm on my shoulder.
“Max son, it will be okay, she probably just went for a walk or something.”
“A walk?! She just got out of the hospital and that asshole is still out there, what is she thinking of taking a walk?! And what does Isabel have to do with this?”
“Nothing Max, she says she doesn’t know where Liz is. She said she came out of her bedroom this morning and knocked on Damian’s door to get his clothes when no one answered she opened the door and the bed was made and Liz was gone.”
“Is she telling the truth?”
“Yes, Max she is.” I turned and see Alex walk into the room. I don’t push the issue because if Alex believes her then that’s good enough for me.
“Thanks Alex. I just don’t know what to do. She doesn’t have a cell phone or anything.” I am so frustrated and scared right now. I feel helpless I walk out of the living room into the kitchen. Something hanging from the fridge catches my eye.
TBC…
Max
After my conversation with Liz I told her that she could think about what I asked her and give me her answer in the morning. I didn’t want to leave her but I have a lot to think about, as does she.
I make it back to my hotel room by eleven thirty, I still need to make some phone calls, one to Michael and one to Dariana.
It’s really hard trying to determine my feelings. On one hand, I love Liz. There is no question about that but then there is Dariana, she’s been there for me and she supports me daily. She may not always agree with my feelings but she stands beside me.
Liz, I love that girl more than anything, she is my heart, and even though we both played our parts in the downfall of our relationship, she lied to me and used everything she knew about me, against me. I think that’s what hurts the most, I know she says she had no choice, but to me she did. She could have told me what was going on, but it’s like she didn’t trust me to protect her or…I just don’t know anymore.
She could have told me, she should have told me. It makes me wonder though if what happened with Jordan and the baby never happened, would she have told me? That’s what scares me the most. I know that I should have told her how I felt, that was my biggest mistake. Adding to the fact that Isabel put her two cents into Liz’s mind frame in telling me anything, which I have not let go unnoticed in anyway. I just don’t know what to do about Isabel at this point.
I try and put my trust in Liz but she hasn’t shown me I should be doing that. That’s why I’m so confused, I still have more questions for her but they can wait for right now. At least for now, I believe, when it comes to the past she will tell me the truth, I can only hope that in moving forward, she does the same.
I call Michael first, just to see how things are going.
“Hey Michael how’s everything?”
“It’s good, oh hey, I talked to Maria.”
“You did? That’s good, is she okay?”
“Honestly I don’t know, it’s hard to tell over the phone you know, if she was standing in front of me I would know for sure. She invited us to her show in two weeks.”
“Yeah I know, she told me about it. So anything else going on?”
“No, except Dariana fucking walked in on me getting changed this morning.”
“What?! God! Michael I’m sorry, I’m going to call her in a few minutes and tell her to leave the key on the table before she leaves. It’s only going to get worse when Liz gets there and you guys need your privacy.”
“Maxwell, you don’t have to apologize to me, but taking the key away would be greatly appreciated. So how’d things go with Liz?”
“That’s really a complicated question.” I answer him dryly.
“Really? What happened?”
“I talked to her and asked her to come, she’s going to think about it overnight and give me her answer tomorrow, but she told me about her and Jordan. I mean the things she told me…I had no idea were happening right in front of my face.”
“What kinds of things?” Michael asked concerned for me and for Liz, he knows the struggle I deal with everyday and he can sympathize. I honestly don’t know what I would do without him. So for the next forty-five minutes I tell him everything I’ve learned about Liz.
“Damn, that’s some crazy shit Maxwell. I feel bad for her, but as soon as she gets here we’ll help her. I just don’t understand why she didn’t tell you when it first happened.”
“That makes two of us Michael, I really don’t know and honestly at this point I don’t think she does either.”
“Alright look call me tomorrow and let me know what’s going on, I’m a let you go now and call Dariana. Night.”
“I will, I’m going over to Mom and Dad’s tomorrow morning after I wake up and see what she wants to do, not that I will accept anything less than her coming with me but I can hope can’t I?”
“That you can.”
“Oh, before I forget, is everything at the office okay?”
“Yes, it’s good El Capitan. You have those meetings on Friday so you need to get your ass in gear and get back home though.”
“Yeah, yeah I know. Alright Michael, talk to you tomorrow.”
“Bye.”
Well that was the easy conversation, now comes the much harder one.
“Hello?”
“Hey babe how’s everything going?”
“Max! Hi, I didn’t expect to hear from you until tomorrow.”
“Why not? I told you I was going to call you didn’t I, besides it is tomorrow?”
“Oh yeah that’s right, I guess I forgot.” Did I miss something? There has not been a time that she forgets I said I was going to call?
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing why do you ask sweetie.”
“Because you don’t sound…are you drunk?”
“No I just had a few drinks tonight at Joey’s and that’s it.”
“Since when do you go to bars to drink…alone?”
“Since my boyfriend decides he’s going to leave me for weeks at a time and calls when he feels it’s convenient for him.” She says sarcastically.
“What the hell does that mean? You know why I’ve been gone so don’t pretend like I’m doing shit behind your back!”
“Whatever!” She yells into the phone.
“Look, I didn’t call to argue with you.” I sigh she is so infuriating sometimes.
“What did you call for? It’s not to tell me you love me or miss me so what for then?”
“Dari, don’t be like that. I told you I’m not there yet so don’t push me. I called to tell you that I talked to Liz and she’s going to give me her answer tomorrow and I will probably leave the day after if not tomorrow night depending on how everything goes.”
“So she didn’t say yes? How are you making all these plans and you don’t even have an answer yet?”
“Because the only answer I will accept is yes.”
“And if she says no?”
“Then I will physically drag her to San Diego. Now how about tomorrow afternoon when you’re all sober you call me?”
“Alright, bye Max.”
“Bye Dari.”
God! Her telephone conversations are becoming more and more of a hassle with each passing day.
I’m beginning to wonder if they always have and I never realized it or if it’s just been a long day. Guess I’ll find out soon enough huh?
Shit! I forgot to tell her about the key! That should make for some serious afternoon conversation tomorrow. Right now I can’t think about that though. I’m about to pass out from sleep deprivation.
***********************************
Liz
What should I do?
Should I go?
Should I stay?
Should I run away and hide?
That last one is sounding kind of good at this hour. I’m so tired but I can’t sleep. I’ve been tossing and turning for the last hour and a half.
Don’t get me wrong, I want to go with Max; there is no question about that. I want to be with him and if it’s just friends then that’s what I’ll take. Besides if I’m honest, I have money saved but it’s only enough for about three months rent for an apartment in Roswell. I can’t survive after that, so yes it is the best option.
I mean it’s only a few months right? Then everyone else will be out there, and Michael is already there.
And so is Max’s girlfriend. I’ve never met the girl and I hate her already. I’m not usually like this at all, I can usually get along with anyone that is only after I come out of my shell, but still.
Now though I think about him and her and I just feel sick. I know he’s probably slept with her and if they haven’t then she’s got bigger problems than me. God! What if I’m there and I see them? Oh, I need to focus on something else because this line of thinking is just not working.
Tonight when Max told me that he couldn’t hate me, I thought my heart was going to burst. I know I hurt him, I know I should have told him about Jordan sooner but I didn’t know how. I just felt stupid for even staying with him and pretending to be dating him and now Max knows the truth anyway, so it was all for nothing. I was hiding behind Jordan all that time and I wasted all the love Max had for me. I know that when he told me that he loves me, that he means as a friend because there is absolutely no way he could have meant it any other way.
Not after the way I treated him. I know I broke his trust, just like Isabel. He is very forgiving but he’s not the type of person to trust easily. I think that above all else I’m afraid he will never trust me again, I’m afraid we won’t get our friendship back to where it was. Sad part is I need it to survive, I was barely hanging on without him this past year he doesn’t know it, I don’t think that’s something I will tell him right away, he needs time to deal with everything else.
I wonder what his girlfriend is like. She obviously knows about me, but how much does she know? Does she know we were just friends? More than friends? That we created a baby together?
Probably not, if I know Max, he keeps his private life very private especially when it comes to me, so he probably just told her we were best friends and left it at that.
The baby.
That has been a topic that has been on my mind for the last couple of days. I often wonder where Max and I would be if I didn’t miscarry. Would we be together, happy in love or just friends with a baby? I like to hope that we would be together happily in love and maybe even married.
That’s not to say that I believe people should have babies to make their relationships work, not in the least. I guess a better way to say it is, when I found out I was pregnant, something changed in Max, he was genuinely happy about it. He was scared but so excited. I just know that if I had stayed pregnant we would have had to admit our feelings for each other, instead of hiding them from one another.
I know I broke his heart by telling him I was pregnant with Jordan’s baby, but it was the only way I knew I could get him to leave me. I now know the best thing I could have done for everyone is tell Max the truth that day, he would have taken me away and kept me safe.
There’s a reason why I didn’t and I don’t think I realized it until this moment. It was because he was always there for me, always looking out for me, doing everything in his power to make me happy. I didn’t do anything for him, but I could let him go so he could finally start living his life, without me as his burden to carry.
I can’t change it now; like Max says, all I can do is live or at least try to.
***********************************
Max
Thankfully I was able to get a few hours of sleep last night. This morning after my shower I’m headed over to my parent’s house for Liz’s answer. I really hope what I told her last night had a chance to sink in otherwise it’s really going to be a battle today.
After my shower I head straight to my parents house when I walk through the front door however it’s a scene I was not expecting.
“I don’t know! I already told you I didn’t do anything! I have no idea where she went!” I can hear yelling as I enter the front door, it’s coming from the living room.
“Isabel stop yelling.”
“Mom, I swear I don’t know where she is.” I see my sister crying to my mom.
“I know honey, just calm down. Maybe it would be best if you went out back for a little while and I’ll go call Max.”
“What the hell is going on?”
“Max! God! Honey, its Liz, we don’t know where she is.”
“What?! What do you mean, did you check upstairs or in back yard?!”
“Yes, we checked the whole house even the attic and she’s not there Max.”
“Did she leave a note somewhere and you just missed it? Because Liz wouldn’t just up and leave like that without telling anyone.” Would she? This is the last thing I need, what if Jordan found her, what if she’s in trouble, and I have no idea where to begin to look for her. My father must see the panicked look on my face because he approaches me instantly and puts his arm on my shoulder.
“Max son, it will be okay, she probably just went for a walk or something.”
“A walk?! She just got out of the hospital and that asshole is still out there, what is she thinking of taking a walk?! And what does Isabel have to do with this?”
“Nothing Max, she says she doesn’t know where Liz is. She said she came out of her bedroom this morning and knocked on Damian’s door to get his clothes when no one answered she opened the door and the bed was made and Liz was gone.”
“Is she telling the truth?”
“Yes, Max she is.” I turned and see Alex walk into the room. I don’t push the issue because if Alex believes her then that’s good enough for me.
“Thanks Alex. I just don’t know what to do. She doesn’t have a cell phone or anything.” I am so frustrated and scared right now. I feel helpless I walk out of the living room into the kitchen. Something hanging from the fridge catches my eye.
TBC…
Last edited by Behrsgirl77 on Wed Sep 29, 2004 5:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
-
Behrsgirl77
- Obsessed Roswellian
- Posts: 633
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Chapter 33
Chapter 33
Max
Diane,
I went to the park for a little while this morning. I won’t be long.
Liz
I rip the note off the fridge and practically run out the front door, but not before I tell everyone where she is and that she did indeed leave a note.
The park was only right down the street so I ran there as fast as I could. Hoping with my entire being that she was still there.
I turn the corner and I see her sitting on a swing, thank God!
“Liz!” I yell to her and she looks up and I can tell she was crying, so I approach her slowly.
“Hi, what are you doing here?”
“I was worried, no one knew where you were and when I showed up, I was terrified.” I told her honestly.
“Why? I left a note in the kitchen, I take it your Mom didn’t find it?” She says in a very low voice. I can hear the sadness in her voice…but for what? I hope it’s not because she’s about to give me an answer I don’t want to hear.
“No I found it when I walked into the kitchen, everyone was in the living room after they searched the house for you.”
“I’m sorry I should have called you before I left, but I really thought someone would go into the fridge first thing in the morning, you know?” She says innocently.
“I know Liz, it’s okay. We were just worried.” She nods and motions for me to take a seat beside her.
“I don’t think I’ve sat on these swings or any for that matter in ages.”
“Yeah me either, talking with Alex yesterday was the first time in years I have. I usually just play with Damian but I do the pushing so, it’s not the same.” She smiles at me.
“Exactly. So…” I’m holding my breath awaiting her answer.
“I’m going Max. I know it’s going to be hard but I’m going with you.” I turn in the swing to face her and reach out my hands for her to take. She does so willingly and rises from her seat to sit on my lap.
“Thank you Liz, thank you for not fighting me.” I slowly brush her hair away from her face and run my hands down the length of it.
“Your welcome Max, but it’s me who should be doing the thanks.” She says smiling at me, I can see the sparkle in her eyes, I just get lost in them.
“Don’t even say it Liz, it’s done. So I talked to the doctors and they told me you couldn’t fly so it looks like we’re taking a road trip.”
“Really? That actually sounds like a lot of fun, I mean seeing someplace other than Roswell that is, for me anyway.” I hate that she has never left Roswell unless she was getting on a plane to see me at school. She’s never taken a trip anywhere, but I plan on changing a few things once we get back to San Diego.
“Max?” She breaks me from my thoughts.
“Yeah?”
“Do you think you could take me to the mall today? I don’t have any clothes and I had to borrow one of Isabel’s shirts for bed, and I washed and dried my clothes after you left last night.” She is breaking my heart, she has nothing, no possessions of any kind and she still manages to smile about it.
“Of course Liz, how about we get some breakfast first then I’ll take you?”
“Sounds good.” We leave the park and walk back to my parent’s house, when we arrive my mother practically attacks Liz.
“Thank God you’re alright! We were so worried.”
“I know I’m so sorry, I figured you would see the note, but you didn’t.” She didn’t know what else to say.
“It’s okay, we’re just glad you’re okay.”
“Yeah Parker, don’t go scaring us like that again.”
“I know Alex, I didn’t mean to.” Alex comes up to her and wraps his arms around her, I think just to make sure she was really there, can’t say I blame him either.
“Hey Dad?”
“Yes?”
“What time are you leaving for work?”
“Let’s see it’s about eight, and I have a meeting in about an hour, why?”
“I just wanted to talk to you for a second, before you leave.”
“Let’s go.” I leave the kitchen with my Dad and head upstairs to my parent’s bedroom to talk to him.
***********************************
Liz
Boy, who knew that going for a walk would be such an event for me? I can’t say that I wasn’t glad that Max showed up though. I just needed to clear my head for a little bit because I knew these next few weeks were going to be a serious test for me.
Max leaves the kitchen with his father, probably to talk. They do that a lot and I think it’s great; they have such an amazing relationship. I see Isabel sitting outside and I know I have to talk to her, so I might as well get it over and done with.
“Hey Isabel, you okay?” I can tell she was crying but I don’t know what to say to her to help.
“Liz! Oh thank god you’re okay!” She gets up from the patio table and hugs me. Isabel Evans is hugging me; did I walk into the fifth dimension or what?
“Yeah Max found the note I left on the fridge, I was at the park.”
“Oh okay, good then. So…”
“So…Isabel I just want to say that I’m not angry with you if that’s what you think. You hurt me but I believe you really did try to help me out, because you did Isabel.”
“I did?”
“Yes, if it wasn’t for you I don’t know where I would be. So even if your motives were one thing in the beginning I know you truly did help me and wanted to most importantly.”
“Thank you Liz. And I’m so sorry, I mean because of me something could have happened to you and I would have never forgiven myself…Ever. I mean you are so good with Damian and I appreciate the fact that you help us all out, in watching and taking care of him for us. I don’t think I ever told you that, but I do.” I know she’s being sincere, I can just tell.
“I know Isabel, I love him so much and I’m going to miss him a lot.”
“You’re going?”
“Yes I am, I’m not safe here, no one is if I’m still here and I don’t want that bastard coming to this house, so it’s better if I leave with Max.”
“Liz?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you…do you think Max and Alex will ever forgive me?” I know how she feels but I tell her what I know to be the truth.
“Isabel, it’s not a matter of them forgiving you, it’s a matter of them trusting you and I’m not going to lie. It will be the hardest thing you will ever have to try and prove, because no matter what you do or say you won’t know when you’ve earned it back until they tell you, and unfortunately that is something that may never happen. They will love you and care about you but they won’t trust you.” She just nods and I can see the tears falling from her eyes but there is nothing I can do, because the trust is not mine to give.
“When are you leaving?”
“Tonight or tomorrow, I’m not really sure. Max is taking me to the mall for some things though.”
“Okay, then I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah. Bye.”
“Bye Liz.” She says as I walk back into the kitchen to find none other than Alex looking out the window at Isabel.
“Hey Alex.”
“Liz! I didn’t see you come in.”
“Yeah I figured that.” I smile at him knowingly.
“So what were you talking about?”
“Stuff.” I say shrugging my shoulders and walking over to the stove to put on a pot of water for my tea.
“What a…what kind of stuff?”
“She was apologizing to me Alex that’s all.” I don’t think he needs to know the rest; he’s not ready to hear it.
“Oh and did you accept it?”
“Yes, you know I did.”
“I know, how though I still don’t understand?” Of course he wouldn’t because he’s never done anything in his life that wasn’t for Isabel.
“Alex it’s hard to explain, but I believe her, so I forgave her because she’s not perfect and neither am I. She hurt me and I told her so, but I don’t hate her Alex, I can’t.”
“I understand, so did you talk to Max?” What does everyone know when he was going to talk to me?
“Yes I did and I’m going.” He comes over to me and gives me a big hug and kiss on the cheek.
“Good Lizzie, I’m proud of you.”
“You are?” I ask him quizzically.
“Yes, it’s a big step but I know with Max, Michael and Maria to help you, you’ll be just fine. Besides I’ll be out there too in a few months.”
“I know, are you excited about it?”
“Actually I am, it’s going to be a new beginning for all of us.” He’s right it is a new beginning for everyone.
“Liz honey, sit down I’ll get that for you.” Diane says pushing me into the nearest seat in the kitchen.
“It’s okay I feel so much better besides you have done enough.”
“Nonsense, now what would you like for breakfast?”
“Oh, did someone mention breakfast?” There’s Max, he just knows when food is being talked about.
“Yes honey, I’m going to make breakfast, so Liz what will it be?”
“Hmm, French Toast.” My other favorite.
“Ooh good choice Lizzie.” Alex says while rubbing his palms together before he heads out back to get Isabel. Just then Damian enters the kitchen.
“Aunt Liz!”
“Hey there sweetie! Did you have a good sleep?”
“Yeah I did, but I missed you.” I bend down and hoist him up on my hip. Max is quick to my side when I stumble a bit, he helps me sit and places Damian in my lap.
“Thanks.” I say shyly to him.
“No problem.”
After breakfast, Diane is cleaning off the table. I thank her for breakfast then turn to Max to see if he’s ready.
“Yeah, let’s go, the mall opens in about a half hour so we should get there right when it opens.”
“The mall?” Diane asks Max.
“Yes Mom, I’m just taking Liz got get some things she needs.” I’m glad Max has a knack for only giving out the information that is vitally necessary to answer the question nothing more, nothing less just the facts. He turns to face me and I mouth a quick ‘thank you’ to him.
“Oh okay honey well I have some grocery shopping to do, so I will see you both a little later. And Max?”
“Yes Mom?”
“When are you leaving?”
“Liz and I haven’t decided yet, but we’ll know when we get back from the store.”
“Sure thing. Bye and have a good time.” Diane just makes me smile… I love her to death.
We leave the house five minutes later headed for the mall in Max’s rental car.
***********************************
Max
We’re in the car headed out of town to the mall. We sit in comfortable silence until Liz yells,
“Max wait! We have to go back!” I turn and look at her.
“Why?” I asked confused as to why she is yelling at me to go back.
“Because Max, I just have to go back.”
“Liz, whatever it is, it will be there when we get back, we are almost there, what’s the problem?” She opens her mouth to say something then closes it quickly.
“Okay, never mind.” She sits back and I continue to drive, I happen a quick glance in her direction and I see her nibbling on her bottom lip. Now I know something is up.
“Liz?”
“Hmm?”
“What is it? Just tell me.”
“No it’s stupid and you’ll laugh at me.” She’s pouting and she looks so adorable.
“No I won’t, so stop pouting and tell me.” I say seriously.
“I had to go to the bank Max, I don’t have a Mac card or anything like that. I didn’t need one before, so I can’t buy anything because I don’t have my checkbook either, I had to leave it.” Now I understand.
“Liz, I got it, don’t worry about it.”
“No Max, just because you have money doesn’t mean you need to buy everything for everybody. I’ll pay you back, that’s the only way.” Stubborn as hell and I love it; after all I am the one that taught her.
“Okay Liz, you can pay me back.” Yeah right! Like I might just take her money, but she can believe it if she wants.
We finally arrive at the mall and it’s fairly empty, definitely not like California, it’s packed all hours of the day. Then again we have a lot more stores to choose from than Albuquerque, New Mexico.
“So Liz where do you want to start?” This is like old times, I would take her shopping when Maria couldn’t go with her and I always asked her this question.
“Already getting back into your old routine I see. Good to see some things haven’t changed.” She turns and looks over her shoulder then winks at me before heading to the jeans department.
Two hours later, I am asking myself ‘Why, oh why, didn’t I bribe my mother into coming?’
“Stop whining Max, I’m almost done in this department.” This department?! Is she crazy?!
“Liz you have tried on like every pair of jeans they all fit what is the problem?”
“I can’t decide which ones to get.” She says while tapping her index finger on her chin.
“Decide? Liz which ones do you like?” I say holding up my left and right arms that are both filled with different color and style jeans and shorts. She just shrugs and says,
“All of them, that’s the problem.”
“No that’s not a problem, the problem is I would like to get out of this store before midnight. So I’m going to go over there,” I say pointing to the cash register, “to that counter and pay for these, and while I’m doing that, you go pick out some shirts. Okay? Good.” I don’t even give her a chance to answer. I know she feels bad but she shouldn’t because I never got to do this for her.
***********************************
Liz
Now I know why Maria says she never took Michael shopping again after the first time. I know he’s probably tired and doesn’t want to do this but I appreciate it and I tell him when he comes back with about twenty-five pairs of jeans and shorts in several bags.
“Stop it Liz, I want to do this for you, now did you pick out shirts?” He looks at me hopefully.
“Yes I did.” I was now holding about twenty different shirts and about seven dresses, I don’t have a problem having him pay for it right now, because as soon as we get back I’m cleaning out my account and giving the money right back to him.
“Good, how about this we go pay for them, then we grab some lunch and continue?”
“Sounds like a plan Max.” We went over to the customer service counter and paid for the shirts and dresses.
Before we head for the food court Max decides he’s going bring the bags we have so far out to the car, he tells me what he wants and asks that I order the food. Right before he walks away he tells me to take his wallet out of his front pocket, but I had to remove his cell phone first so I did.
Now I’m standing on line for food and his cell phone is now ringing.
What should I do?
Might as well answer it incase it’s important right?
“Hello?”
“Who the hell is this?!” A woman barks into the phone.
“Excuse you, you are the one that called me.” Okay whoever this is can we say major bitch?
“No, I called my boyfriend Max Evans, so now you tell me who the hell are you?” Oh shit!
“Oh hi, Dari…ah Darna…hmm I’m Liz!” God I feel so stupid I can’t remember her name.
“It’s Dariana and hi Liz. How are you?” Why do I get the feeling she could care less how I’m doing and more about why I’m answering Max’s phone?
“I’m fine, thanks. Max just went out to the car to put some bags in there so he’ll be back in a few minutes, I could have him call you back.”
“No, that’s fine I’ll wait.” Hmm okay she’ll wait, does that mean I have to talk to her then?
“So you’re coming to San Diego right?” She asks me semi enthused, maybe I was wrong about her. I’m probably just cranky cause I’m hungry. I get so cranky when I haven’t eaten anything by noon.
“Yes I am, I don’t know when we’re leaving though but yes. And I just wanted to say thanks, you know, for being okay with it and everything. I know we haven’t met but I look forward to it.” Yeah right! I can’t wait to see this girl, she’s probably some knock out, and I can tell she’s Spanish because of her slight accent, I wonder if Max has a picture of her in his wallet. She blabbing about something right now, honestly I could care less but every now and again I throw in a ‘Oh really?’ ‘Yeah I know what you mean’. Makes it sound like I’m paying attention. So while she’s rambling, I decide to take a look at Max’s wallet since I’m next in line and I need to take money out.
I flip it open and the first thing I see is a picture of Damian, how sweet. What a great Uncle he is. I examine it a bit closer and I can see another picture behind it. I pull out the picture from underneath Damian’s and flip it over and the picture causes me to drop his cell phone.
“Shit!” I bend down to pick it up and make sure it’s not broken, thank god not even a scratch.
“Hello? Hello?!” Boy she’s got some vocal chords on her.
“Uh yeah I’m sorry about that I dropped the phone. Oh, I see Max coming so I guess I’ll see you in a few days, okay bye.” She says bye to me and I quickly hold the phone out to Max he mouths ‘who is it’ and I say just as I move up a spot on line.
“Your girlfriend.” Did I just hear him groan? Hmm must have been my imagination.
Anyway while he has his conversation I order our food and he takes the tray from me so I can find a seat. I’m still reeling though over the picture I saw in his wallet.
I mean I figured maybe his girlfriends, or maybe his parents but never did I even think to imagine that he would have a picture of…me
***********************************
Max
When Liz handed me the phone I actually groaned out loud I hope that Liz didn’t hear me. It’s just that we are having such a good day and I don’t feel like arguing with Dariana right now especially in front of Liz.
“Hi babe? How are you doing today?”
“Hi sweetie, I’m good. I was just talking to Liz, she seems pretty nice.”
“Yes she really is. What are you up today?”
“I don’t know maybe some shopping after work. You know I might pick a little something up for when you return home.” She purrs into the phone. Now normally I would get very excited and continue our little conversation, but not with Liz sitting here. I would never disrespect her like that.
“Really, well I can’t wait then. Dari I spoke to Michael last night.”
“Oh yeah! Did he tell you about me accidentally walking in on him? I didn’t mean to I just didn’t know he was home.” She says innocently.
“I know you didn’t but I need for you to leave the key you have at my place, it’s just he needs privacy and with Liz being there too, it’s just too much right now.”
¿Por qué? ¿Usted es mi novio y por qué usted no me dijo algo antes? Vivirá usted con otra mujer y con yo no puedo tener una llave a su casa?!” Oh here we go, I actually move the phone away from my ear and I know that Liz can hear her yelling, but she does a very good job of acting like she doesn’t know what’s going on though.
¡"Mirada, esto es lo que quiero! Es mi casa, y mi hermano y mi amigo vivirán conmigo y ellos necesitan la intimidad!" I yell back to her in Spanish because I really don’t want Liz to know that we are partially arguing about her.
“Perdoname, Max. Yo no quiero discutir con usted."
“It’s okay Dari, its just you don’t have to jump to conclusions all the time okay?” I say lowering my voice but knowing damn well Liz can hear me.
***********************************
Liz
What the hell?! God that girl has some serious lungs. When Max pulled the phone away from his ear I could hear her clearing, unfortunately I never paid enough attention in Spanish class to pick up what she was saying. Maria would be really good to have along right now.
And since when can Max speak Spanish? I guess a lot has changed in a year. From what I can understand of the conversation, Dari, I’m going to have to use that nickname because for the life of me I can’t remember her full name, is very insecure about Max. Seems like she’s waiting for him to up and leave her.
I wonder what that’s all about?
After Max is done with his conversation we finish eating and continue shopping.
Another two hours later we are almost done in the mall but I have to make a quick stop in Victoria’s Secret. Max is currently shaking his head at me.
“What?”
“I’m not going in there?”
“Why? Max its only bras and panties, I know you have seen them before.” I say with a heavy sigh. Why do men always do this? It’s all good when they want us to dress up but God forbid they stand in the store with you buying said clothing?
“Maax, come on, I can’t pay for it without you so you have to come in.” I say to him whining because I know it will work.
“Fine Liz, but be quick about it.” I turn and enter the store Max following closely behind me. He’s too cute for words sometimes.
***********************************
Max
I cannot believe it, she manages to get me in this store and now several women are eyeing me. I could not be more uncomfortable. Oh God! What the hell is she doing?
“Liz what are you doing?” She turns around and looks at me confused.
“What? What am I doing?” She says innocently enough.
“W-why are you looking at those?” I hiss at her and point shyly at the items she is currently holding.
“Because Max I like them.” She shrugs and continues on her quest to kill me slowly. God help me if she walks around the house with those…those…practically see-through shorts and top. I mean she might as well wear a bikini or something it would cover a whole lot more.
“I think they are cute! I like these shorts; they are all lacy and soft. Here Max feel them.” She reaches out her hand with the ‘shorts’ for me to touch. I shake my head, why is she torturing me?
***********************************
Liz
Oh, this is just too funny for me right now. The look on Max’s face when I turned around holding these black lacy boys shorts and matching tank top, was priceless. He didn’t even know what to do with himself, he just pointed at them in my hands. It took all my strength to not laugh out loud. I’m going to buy them regardless but I had to torture him a little didn’t I?
After I’m done buying my necessities we head out to the car for our drive back to the house.
We’re in the car for a few minutes before I get the nerve to ask Max about his conversation with Dari.
“It was nothing Liz, she’s just upset cause lately I haven’t been around much.”
“Why not?” Oh what’s that you hear? That’s the sound of me removing my foot from my mouth. I know the answer to that question…me.
“Never mind.” I mumble.
“No Liz it’s okay, we just have been having a rough time, and because I am gone a lot and so is she.”
“Oh okay Max I understand.” I wonder if he’s in love with her. I’m not going to ask that question, so moving on.
“When did you learn to speak Spanish?”
“Since I met Dariana, she has been teaching me more and more, so now after about four months of her drilling things into my head I can have a conversation.”
“That’s so great Max, it was just I don’t know weird to hear you.”
“Did I sound funny?”
“No? Why? Do you think that you sound funny?” He smiles and just nods his head.
“Well, you’re wrong… in fact, it’s quite sexy.”
“Oh really? Good to know Parker, good to know.” He looks ahead and continues driving.
“We have a long trip a head of us, when did you want to leave?”
“I don’t know Max, I think the sooner the better, it’s a long drive?”
“Yes it is, it should take us a about a day with stopping to sleep and all.”
“Wow! That long Max?”
“Yeah, if we didn’t stop it would only take fourteen, but I don’t know about you, I’m in no condition to drive that many hours without stops.” He says jokingly to me.
“I have to agree with you there, Evans, so it looks like we leave early tomorrow morning.”
“Right.” And then as if we were reading each other’s minds we both say in unison.
“Road Trip!”
TBC… P.S. I posted the first part of my new story Borrowed Heaven on this board, hope you guys give it a read! Thanks!!
Translations...
¿Por qué? ¿Usted es mi novio y por qué usted no me dijo algo antes? Vivirá usted con otra mujer y con yo no puedo tener una llave a su casa?!” - Why? Because you are my boyfriend and because you never told me anything before. You're going to be living with another girl and I can't have a key to your house?
¡"Mirada, esto es lo que quiero! Es mi casa, y mi hermano y mi amigo vivirán conmigo y ellos necesitan la intimidad!" Look it's what I want and it's my house. My brother and friend are living with me and they need their privacy!
“Perdoname, Max. Yo no quiero discutir con usted." I'm sorry Max, I don't want to argue with you.
Max
Diane,
I went to the park for a little while this morning. I won’t be long.
Liz
I rip the note off the fridge and practically run out the front door, but not before I tell everyone where she is and that she did indeed leave a note.
The park was only right down the street so I ran there as fast as I could. Hoping with my entire being that she was still there.
I turn the corner and I see her sitting on a swing, thank God!
“Liz!” I yell to her and she looks up and I can tell she was crying, so I approach her slowly.
“Hi, what are you doing here?”
“I was worried, no one knew where you were and when I showed up, I was terrified.” I told her honestly.
“Why? I left a note in the kitchen, I take it your Mom didn’t find it?” She says in a very low voice. I can hear the sadness in her voice…but for what? I hope it’s not because she’s about to give me an answer I don’t want to hear.
“No I found it when I walked into the kitchen, everyone was in the living room after they searched the house for you.”
“I’m sorry I should have called you before I left, but I really thought someone would go into the fridge first thing in the morning, you know?” She says innocently.
“I know Liz, it’s okay. We were just worried.” She nods and motions for me to take a seat beside her.
“I don’t think I’ve sat on these swings or any for that matter in ages.”
“Yeah me either, talking with Alex yesterday was the first time in years I have. I usually just play with Damian but I do the pushing so, it’s not the same.” She smiles at me.
“Exactly. So…” I’m holding my breath awaiting her answer.
“I’m going Max. I know it’s going to be hard but I’m going with you.” I turn in the swing to face her and reach out my hands for her to take. She does so willingly and rises from her seat to sit on my lap.
“Thank you Liz, thank you for not fighting me.” I slowly brush her hair away from her face and run my hands down the length of it.
“Your welcome Max, but it’s me who should be doing the thanks.” She says smiling at me, I can see the sparkle in her eyes, I just get lost in them.
“Don’t even say it Liz, it’s done. So I talked to the doctors and they told me you couldn’t fly so it looks like we’re taking a road trip.”
“Really? That actually sounds like a lot of fun, I mean seeing someplace other than Roswell that is, for me anyway.” I hate that she has never left Roswell unless she was getting on a plane to see me at school. She’s never taken a trip anywhere, but I plan on changing a few things once we get back to San Diego.
“Max?” She breaks me from my thoughts.
“Yeah?”
“Do you think you could take me to the mall today? I don’t have any clothes and I had to borrow one of Isabel’s shirts for bed, and I washed and dried my clothes after you left last night.” She is breaking my heart, she has nothing, no possessions of any kind and she still manages to smile about it.
“Of course Liz, how about we get some breakfast first then I’ll take you?”
“Sounds good.” We leave the park and walk back to my parent’s house, when we arrive my mother practically attacks Liz.
“Thank God you’re alright! We were so worried.”
“I know I’m so sorry, I figured you would see the note, but you didn’t.” She didn’t know what else to say.
“It’s okay, we’re just glad you’re okay.”
“Yeah Parker, don’t go scaring us like that again.”
“I know Alex, I didn’t mean to.” Alex comes up to her and wraps his arms around her, I think just to make sure she was really there, can’t say I blame him either.
“Hey Dad?”
“Yes?”
“What time are you leaving for work?”
“Let’s see it’s about eight, and I have a meeting in about an hour, why?”
“I just wanted to talk to you for a second, before you leave.”
“Let’s go.” I leave the kitchen with my Dad and head upstairs to my parent’s bedroom to talk to him.
***********************************
Liz
Boy, who knew that going for a walk would be such an event for me? I can’t say that I wasn’t glad that Max showed up though. I just needed to clear my head for a little bit because I knew these next few weeks were going to be a serious test for me.
Max leaves the kitchen with his father, probably to talk. They do that a lot and I think it’s great; they have such an amazing relationship. I see Isabel sitting outside and I know I have to talk to her, so I might as well get it over and done with.
“Hey Isabel, you okay?” I can tell she was crying but I don’t know what to say to her to help.
“Liz! Oh thank god you’re okay!” She gets up from the patio table and hugs me. Isabel Evans is hugging me; did I walk into the fifth dimension or what?
“Yeah Max found the note I left on the fridge, I was at the park.”
“Oh okay, good then. So…”
“So…Isabel I just want to say that I’m not angry with you if that’s what you think. You hurt me but I believe you really did try to help me out, because you did Isabel.”
“I did?”
“Yes, if it wasn’t for you I don’t know where I would be. So even if your motives were one thing in the beginning I know you truly did help me and wanted to most importantly.”
“Thank you Liz. And I’m so sorry, I mean because of me something could have happened to you and I would have never forgiven myself…Ever. I mean you are so good with Damian and I appreciate the fact that you help us all out, in watching and taking care of him for us. I don’t think I ever told you that, but I do.” I know she’s being sincere, I can just tell.
“I know Isabel, I love him so much and I’m going to miss him a lot.”
“You’re going?”
“Yes I am, I’m not safe here, no one is if I’m still here and I don’t want that bastard coming to this house, so it’s better if I leave with Max.”
“Liz?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you…do you think Max and Alex will ever forgive me?” I know how she feels but I tell her what I know to be the truth.
“Isabel, it’s not a matter of them forgiving you, it’s a matter of them trusting you and I’m not going to lie. It will be the hardest thing you will ever have to try and prove, because no matter what you do or say you won’t know when you’ve earned it back until they tell you, and unfortunately that is something that may never happen. They will love you and care about you but they won’t trust you.” She just nods and I can see the tears falling from her eyes but there is nothing I can do, because the trust is not mine to give.
“When are you leaving?”
“Tonight or tomorrow, I’m not really sure. Max is taking me to the mall for some things though.”
“Okay, then I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah. Bye.”
“Bye Liz.” She says as I walk back into the kitchen to find none other than Alex looking out the window at Isabel.
“Hey Alex.”
“Liz! I didn’t see you come in.”
“Yeah I figured that.” I smile at him knowingly.
“So what were you talking about?”
“Stuff.” I say shrugging my shoulders and walking over to the stove to put on a pot of water for my tea.
“What a…what kind of stuff?”
“She was apologizing to me Alex that’s all.” I don’t think he needs to know the rest; he’s not ready to hear it.
“Oh and did you accept it?”
“Yes, you know I did.”
“I know, how though I still don’t understand?” Of course he wouldn’t because he’s never done anything in his life that wasn’t for Isabel.
“Alex it’s hard to explain, but I believe her, so I forgave her because she’s not perfect and neither am I. She hurt me and I told her so, but I don’t hate her Alex, I can’t.”
“I understand, so did you talk to Max?” What does everyone know when he was going to talk to me?
“Yes I did and I’m going.” He comes over to me and gives me a big hug and kiss on the cheek.
“Good Lizzie, I’m proud of you.”
“You are?” I ask him quizzically.
“Yes, it’s a big step but I know with Max, Michael and Maria to help you, you’ll be just fine. Besides I’ll be out there too in a few months.”
“I know, are you excited about it?”
“Actually I am, it’s going to be a new beginning for all of us.” He’s right it is a new beginning for everyone.
“Liz honey, sit down I’ll get that for you.” Diane says pushing me into the nearest seat in the kitchen.
“It’s okay I feel so much better besides you have done enough.”
“Nonsense, now what would you like for breakfast?”
“Oh, did someone mention breakfast?” There’s Max, he just knows when food is being talked about.
“Yes honey, I’m going to make breakfast, so Liz what will it be?”
“Hmm, French Toast.” My other favorite.
“Ooh good choice Lizzie.” Alex says while rubbing his palms together before he heads out back to get Isabel. Just then Damian enters the kitchen.
“Aunt Liz!”
“Hey there sweetie! Did you have a good sleep?”
“Yeah I did, but I missed you.” I bend down and hoist him up on my hip. Max is quick to my side when I stumble a bit, he helps me sit and places Damian in my lap.
“Thanks.” I say shyly to him.
“No problem.”
After breakfast, Diane is cleaning off the table. I thank her for breakfast then turn to Max to see if he’s ready.
“Yeah, let’s go, the mall opens in about a half hour so we should get there right when it opens.”
“The mall?” Diane asks Max.
“Yes Mom, I’m just taking Liz got get some things she needs.” I’m glad Max has a knack for only giving out the information that is vitally necessary to answer the question nothing more, nothing less just the facts. He turns to face me and I mouth a quick ‘thank you’ to him.
“Oh okay honey well I have some grocery shopping to do, so I will see you both a little later. And Max?”
“Yes Mom?”
“When are you leaving?”
“Liz and I haven’t decided yet, but we’ll know when we get back from the store.”
“Sure thing. Bye and have a good time.” Diane just makes me smile… I love her to death.
We leave the house five minutes later headed for the mall in Max’s rental car.
***********************************
Max
We’re in the car headed out of town to the mall. We sit in comfortable silence until Liz yells,
“Max wait! We have to go back!” I turn and look at her.
“Why?” I asked confused as to why she is yelling at me to go back.
“Because Max, I just have to go back.”
“Liz, whatever it is, it will be there when we get back, we are almost there, what’s the problem?” She opens her mouth to say something then closes it quickly.
“Okay, never mind.” She sits back and I continue to drive, I happen a quick glance in her direction and I see her nibbling on her bottom lip. Now I know something is up.
“Liz?”
“Hmm?”
“What is it? Just tell me.”
“No it’s stupid and you’ll laugh at me.” She’s pouting and she looks so adorable.
“No I won’t, so stop pouting and tell me.” I say seriously.
“I had to go to the bank Max, I don’t have a Mac card or anything like that. I didn’t need one before, so I can’t buy anything because I don’t have my checkbook either, I had to leave it.” Now I understand.
“Liz, I got it, don’t worry about it.”
“No Max, just because you have money doesn’t mean you need to buy everything for everybody. I’ll pay you back, that’s the only way.” Stubborn as hell and I love it; after all I am the one that taught her.
“Okay Liz, you can pay me back.” Yeah right! Like I might just take her money, but she can believe it if she wants.
We finally arrive at the mall and it’s fairly empty, definitely not like California, it’s packed all hours of the day. Then again we have a lot more stores to choose from than Albuquerque, New Mexico.
“So Liz where do you want to start?” This is like old times, I would take her shopping when Maria couldn’t go with her and I always asked her this question.
“Already getting back into your old routine I see. Good to see some things haven’t changed.” She turns and looks over her shoulder then winks at me before heading to the jeans department.
Two hours later, I am asking myself ‘Why, oh why, didn’t I bribe my mother into coming?’
“Stop whining Max, I’m almost done in this department.” This department?! Is she crazy?!
“Liz you have tried on like every pair of jeans they all fit what is the problem?”
“I can’t decide which ones to get.” She says while tapping her index finger on her chin.
“Decide? Liz which ones do you like?” I say holding up my left and right arms that are both filled with different color and style jeans and shorts. She just shrugs and says,
“All of them, that’s the problem.”
“No that’s not a problem, the problem is I would like to get out of this store before midnight. So I’m going to go over there,” I say pointing to the cash register, “to that counter and pay for these, and while I’m doing that, you go pick out some shirts. Okay? Good.” I don’t even give her a chance to answer. I know she feels bad but she shouldn’t because I never got to do this for her.
***********************************
Liz
Now I know why Maria says she never took Michael shopping again after the first time. I know he’s probably tired and doesn’t want to do this but I appreciate it and I tell him when he comes back with about twenty-five pairs of jeans and shorts in several bags.
“Stop it Liz, I want to do this for you, now did you pick out shirts?” He looks at me hopefully.
“Yes I did.” I was now holding about twenty different shirts and about seven dresses, I don’t have a problem having him pay for it right now, because as soon as we get back I’m cleaning out my account and giving the money right back to him.
“Good, how about this we go pay for them, then we grab some lunch and continue?”
“Sounds like a plan Max.” We went over to the customer service counter and paid for the shirts and dresses.
Before we head for the food court Max decides he’s going bring the bags we have so far out to the car, he tells me what he wants and asks that I order the food. Right before he walks away he tells me to take his wallet out of his front pocket, but I had to remove his cell phone first so I did.
Now I’m standing on line for food and his cell phone is now ringing.
What should I do?
Might as well answer it incase it’s important right?
“Hello?”
“Who the hell is this?!” A woman barks into the phone.
“Excuse you, you are the one that called me.” Okay whoever this is can we say major bitch?
“No, I called my boyfriend Max Evans, so now you tell me who the hell are you?” Oh shit!
“Oh hi, Dari…ah Darna…hmm I’m Liz!” God I feel so stupid I can’t remember her name.
“It’s Dariana and hi Liz. How are you?” Why do I get the feeling she could care less how I’m doing and more about why I’m answering Max’s phone?
“I’m fine, thanks. Max just went out to the car to put some bags in there so he’ll be back in a few minutes, I could have him call you back.”
“No, that’s fine I’ll wait.” Hmm okay she’ll wait, does that mean I have to talk to her then?
“So you’re coming to San Diego right?” She asks me semi enthused, maybe I was wrong about her. I’m probably just cranky cause I’m hungry. I get so cranky when I haven’t eaten anything by noon.
“Yes I am, I don’t know when we’re leaving though but yes. And I just wanted to say thanks, you know, for being okay with it and everything. I know we haven’t met but I look forward to it.” Yeah right! I can’t wait to see this girl, she’s probably some knock out, and I can tell she’s Spanish because of her slight accent, I wonder if Max has a picture of her in his wallet. She blabbing about something right now, honestly I could care less but every now and again I throw in a ‘Oh really?’ ‘Yeah I know what you mean’. Makes it sound like I’m paying attention. So while she’s rambling, I decide to take a look at Max’s wallet since I’m next in line and I need to take money out.
I flip it open and the first thing I see is a picture of Damian, how sweet. What a great Uncle he is. I examine it a bit closer and I can see another picture behind it. I pull out the picture from underneath Damian’s and flip it over and the picture causes me to drop his cell phone.
“Shit!” I bend down to pick it up and make sure it’s not broken, thank god not even a scratch.
“Hello? Hello?!” Boy she’s got some vocal chords on her.
“Uh yeah I’m sorry about that I dropped the phone. Oh, I see Max coming so I guess I’ll see you in a few days, okay bye.” She says bye to me and I quickly hold the phone out to Max he mouths ‘who is it’ and I say just as I move up a spot on line.
“Your girlfriend.” Did I just hear him groan? Hmm must have been my imagination.
Anyway while he has his conversation I order our food and he takes the tray from me so I can find a seat. I’m still reeling though over the picture I saw in his wallet.
I mean I figured maybe his girlfriends, or maybe his parents but never did I even think to imagine that he would have a picture of…me
***********************************
Max
When Liz handed me the phone I actually groaned out loud I hope that Liz didn’t hear me. It’s just that we are having such a good day and I don’t feel like arguing with Dariana right now especially in front of Liz.
“Hi babe? How are you doing today?”
“Hi sweetie, I’m good. I was just talking to Liz, she seems pretty nice.”
“Yes she really is. What are you up today?”
“I don’t know maybe some shopping after work. You know I might pick a little something up for when you return home.” She purrs into the phone. Now normally I would get very excited and continue our little conversation, but not with Liz sitting here. I would never disrespect her like that.
“Really, well I can’t wait then. Dari I spoke to Michael last night.”
“Oh yeah! Did he tell you about me accidentally walking in on him? I didn’t mean to I just didn’t know he was home.” She says innocently.
“I know you didn’t but I need for you to leave the key you have at my place, it’s just he needs privacy and with Liz being there too, it’s just too much right now.”
¿Por qué? ¿Usted es mi novio y por qué usted no me dijo algo antes? Vivirá usted con otra mujer y con yo no puedo tener una llave a su casa?!” Oh here we go, I actually move the phone away from my ear and I know that Liz can hear her yelling, but she does a very good job of acting like she doesn’t know what’s going on though.
¡"Mirada, esto es lo que quiero! Es mi casa, y mi hermano y mi amigo vivirán conmigo y ellos necesitan la intimidad!" I yell back to her in Spanish because I really don’t want Liz to know that we are partially arguing about her.
“Perdoname, Max. Yo no quiero discutir con usted."
“It’s okay Dari, its just you don’t have to jump to conclusions all the time okay?” I say lowering my voice but knowing damn well Liz can hear me.
***********************************
Liz
What the hell?! God that girl has some serious lungs. When Max pulled the phone away from his ear I could hear her clearing, unfortunately I never paid enough attention in Spanish class to pick up what she was saying. Maria would be really good to have along right now.
And since when can Max speak Spanish? I guess a lot has changed in a year. From what I can understand of the conversation, Dari, I’m going to have to use that nickname because for the life of me I can’t remember her full name, is very insecure about Max. Seems like she’s waiting for him to up and leave her.
I wonder what that’s all about?
After Max is done with his conversation we finish eating and continue shopping.
Another two hours later we are almost done in the mall but I have to make a quick stop in Victoria’s Secret. Max is currently shaking his head at me.
“What?”
“I’m not going in there?”
“Why? Max its only bras and panties, I know you have seen them before.” I say with a heavy sigh. Why do men always do this? It’s all good when they want us to dress up but God forbid they stand in the store with you buying said clothing?
“Maax, come on, I can’t pay for it without you so you have to come in.” I say to him whining because I know it will work.
“Fine Liz, but be quick about it.” I turn and enter the store Max following closely behind me. He’s too cute for words sometimes.
***********************************
Max
I cannot believe it, she manages to get me in this store and now several women are eyeing me. I could not be more uncomfortable. Oh God! What the hell is she doing?
“Liz what are you doing?” She turns around and looks at me confused.
“What? What am I doing?” She says innocently enough.
“W-why are you looking at those?” I hiss at her and point shyly at the items she is currently holding.
“Because Max I like them.” She shrugs and continues on her quest to kill me slowly. God help me if she walks around the house with those…those…practically see-through shorts and top. I mean she might as well wear a bikini or something it would cover a whole lot more.
“I think they are cute! I like these shorts; they are all lacy and soft. Here Max feel them.” She reaches out her hand with the ‘shorts’ for me to touch. I shake my head, why is she torturing me?
***********************************
Liz
Oh, this is just too funny for me right now. The look on Max’s face when I turned around holding these black lacy boys shorts and matching tank top, was priceless. He didn’t even know what to do with himself, he just pointed at them in my hands. It took all my strength to not laugh out loud. I’m going to buy them regardless but I had to torture him a little didn’t I?
After I’m done buying my necessities we head out to the car for our drive back to the house.
We’re in the car for a few minutes before I get the nerve to ask Max about his conversation with Dari.
“It was nothing Liz, she’s just upset cause lately I haven’t been around much.”
“Why not?” Oh what’s that you hear? That’s the sound of me removing my foot from my mouth. I know the answer to that question…me.
“Never mind.” I mumble.
“No Liz it’s okay, we just have been having a rough time, and because I am gone a lot and so is she.”
“Oh okay Max I understand.” I wonder if he’s in love with her. I’m not going to ask that question, so moving on.
“When did you learn to speak Spanish?”
“Since I met Dariana, she has been teaching me more and more, so now after about four months of her drilling things into my head I can have a conversation.”
“That’s so great Max, it was just I don’t know weird to hear you.”
“Did I sound funny?”
“No? Why? Do you think that you sound funny?” He smiles and just nods his head.
“Well, you’re wrong… in fact, it’s quite sexy.”
“Oh really? Good to know Parker, good to know.” He looks ahead and continues driving.
“We have a long trip a head of us, when did you want to leave?”
“I don’t know Max, I think the sooner the better, it’s a long drive?”
“Yes it is, it should take us a about a day with stopping to sleep and all.”
“Wow! That long Max?”
“Yeah, if we didn’t stop it would only take fourteen, but I don’t know about you, I’m in no condition to drive that many hours without stops.” He says jokingly to me.
“I have to agree with you there, Evans, so it looks like we leave early tomorrow morning.”
“Right.” And then as if we were reading each other’s minds we both say in unison.
“Road Trip!”
TBC… P.S. I posted the first part of my new story Borrowed Heaven on this board, hope you guys give it a read! Thanks!!
Translations...
¿Por qué? ¿Usted es mi novio y por qué usted no me dijo algo antes? Vivirá usted con otra mujer y con yo no puedo tener una llave a su casa?!” - Why? Because you are my boyfriend and because you never told me anything before. You're going to be living with another girl and I can't have a key to your house?
¡"Mirada, esto es lo que quiero! Es mi casa, y mi hermano y mi amigo vivirán conmigo y ellos necesitan la intimidad!" Look it's what I want and it's my house. My brother and friend are living with me and they need their privacy!
“Perdoname, Max. Yo no quiero discutir con usted." I'm sorry Max, I don't want to argue with you.
Last edited by Behrsgirl77 on Wed Sep 29, 2004 5:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Behrsgirl77
- Obsessed Roswellian
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Chapter 34
Isabel
I really took to heart what Liz told me about forgiving and earning back trust. I’ve done things in the past and even so much as the present that I’m ashamed of. I don’t know how I even manage to look at myself in the mirror everyday. I have no one to blame but myself for everything.
I put Liz’s life in danger because why? Because I thought she would just end up hurting Max, why didn’t I just listen to Max when he told me to stay out of it? It was after all just between him and Liz, but I knew how much he loved her even now, when he looks at her you can just tell. I wonder though if Dariana is going to notice, I mean the girl would have to be blind not to see the chemistry between those two.
I think my reason for doing the things I did to Liz was because I was so tired of seeing Max pine after her, although he never made his feelings clear to her…ever. So I can now understand why she felt she needed to do the things she did, when my father explained to us this morning after Max and Liz left the house, what Liz had gone through.
I mean he said just based on what Max had told him, Liz was terrified for his life. Not hers but his, and she’s leaving because she knows that Jordan is still out there and if he finds her she’s afraid that he’ll do something to anyone of us. She has put everyone above herself, all this time. And what was I doing? Being Miss High and Mighty, telling Liz she wasn’t good enough for Max and trying to keep them apart. Max was right I am a cold-hearted bitch.
I was reprimanding her and I was the one who considered cheating on my boyfriend, the father of my child. I just don’t know what to do at this point in my life. I know what Liz says is true, Max will forgive me, just like Alex; but I don’t deserve to be forgiven I’ve done nothing to earn that or the trust I will be holding my breath for.
Alex and I have not told Damian about our separation, but the time is coming and I just hope that he understands. I hate to think of my baby hurting over what I have done, I claim to love everyone around me but I do nothing to prove that love, things are going to have to change for me and soon. I cannot continue down this destructive path much longer.
“Hey Iz.” I turn around and see Alex standing in our bedroom doorway.
“Hi.” This is so awkward; I don’t even know what to say to him.
“Can we talk for a minute?” He asks while hesitantly entering the room and taking a seat on the edge of the bed.
“Yes, what did you want to talk about?” Not really sure if I want to know.
“Liz.”
“Liz?”
“Yes, I need to know why Isabel? Why did you do it? Did you hate her? I know you don’t now; at least I’d like to think you don’t but why? She’s so good to Damian…I.” He stops and looks right at me. I suck in a deep breath, because I truly don’t know how to answer him.
“Alex, I don’t know. I know that’s not an acceptable answer but I truly don’t know. Liz is great with Damian from day one, she has been so loving and affectionate towards him and I know he means so much to her, it wasn’t because of that. I feel no jealously towards her for that, in fact I feel really lucky to have someone like her in Damian’s life, but…”
“But what Isabel? I need for you to help me out here.” His irritation was growing rapidly at this point. I rise from the bed and walk towards the window that faces the backyard, I can see my mom playing with Damian, and I have decided that now is the best time to tell Alex the truth, he’s not going to like it but it’s time I stopped lying.
“Jealously Alex. It was because I’m jealous of Liz.”
“Jealous why?”
“You don’t get it do you? Max loved…loves her she is everything he wants in another person, she messes up and you know what? Everyone loves her everyone always loves her. Me I mess up and I’m a bitch or heartless, I make mistakes everyone does but I’m the only one who gets punished for them. I know that sounds childish, but Max and Liz they don’t realize what they are or could be for that matter. He would walk through fire if it meant being with her in the end, even now…she broke his heart and he’s there. No matter what he will always protect her and be there for her.”
“What is that supposed to mean? That I’m not there for you Isabel? Because I am…I’ve always been here you just never paid any attention.” I start to cry when I hear Alex’s voice crack. I turn around and bump right into him, he’s standing right in front of me; I didn’t realize he moved from his position on the bed.
“Isabel, I’ve always been here have I not made you feel important? Have I not told you how much I love you? That when you smile it lights up my whole world and I can’t help but smile because of you, just the thought of you makes me feel like a teenager again. Because I do Isabel, I’m sorry I…”
“No! Alex don’t apologize…don’t. What you’re saying is true, I know that you love me and trust me you have showed me time and time again…but I never paid attention. I take you for granted; I was so busy worried about Max and Liz that I ignored what was right in front of my face. I’m sorry Alex, you’ll never know how sorry I am, but I don’t know how to fix it. Just tell me its not too late, that you don’t hate me.” I’m in tears now, Alex quickly raises him arms and wraps them around me tenderly and brushes my hair through his fingers.
“Shh, Isabel, I don’t hate you, I’m hurt and you know that and I don’t know what’s going to happen to us Isabel. I know that I love you; I don’t think I can stop, but things have to change, I just don’t know how to do it right now. I need time okay?” He asks me with a hint of hope in his voice.
“Yes Alex, I can do that.” I push away to wipe the tears from my eyes, but Alex doesn’t release the hold he has on me. He raises one hand to my face and brushes the tears sliding down my cheeks and I look back up to him.
“Now, we need to get to school, so how about you go wash your beautiful face and I’ll meet you downstairs.” I just smile as he releases me so I can make my way into the bathroom to wash up.
I can only pray that he gives me a second chance to prove that I want to be with him and that he’s so important to me.
***********************************
Liz
“Come on Max!”
“No Liz, I already told you it’s not going to happen, so just drop it!” He crosses his arms over his chest as to say, ‘that’s final’.
“Fine! I’ll go myself.” I cross my arms over my chest mimicking his actions, showing him what he already knows to be true; I’m just as stubborn as him.
“You can’t walk that far Liz.” That’s what he thinks. I can walk pretty far, never owning a car makes you grow accustom to that.
“I don’t care I’ll take a bus…or a taxi or something!” I say in protest, why does he have to argue with me on this?
“Liz, be reasonable here.” He reaches an arm out to stop my movement as I walk to the hallway.
“I am, I told you the only way I would let you do it, is if you let me pay you back. And you’re going back on your word.” I huff, I should have known better. Why doesn’t he understand that I need to pay him back? I’ve spent well over the amount I have in the bank, but I have every intention of getting a job and paying him back.
“I never promised you, so you can’t even throw that card on the table at me. Liz just forget it.” He pleads with me, but I won’t let him pay my way for everything. It’s bad enough that I’ll be living with him and not paying rent.
“No.” I turn and head into the living room, knowing damn well it’s too late for me to walk that far into town, I just don’t want him thinking I’m taking advantage of him I think that’s what bothers me so much. He follows me into the living room and sits beside me on the couch without saying a word.
“Liz?” I turn my head and face the wall to my left.
“Come on…don’t be like that.” He gets up off the couch and kneels before me, trying to get me to look at him. Damn why does he have to be so cute about it.
“Please Max, just please take me.” I turn to face him and give him my ‘I’m a lost little puppy come help me’ face, and he sighs in defeat. Works every time!
“Okay I’ll take you, but Liz I’m not taking your money.”
“What-ever Maax!” I sing out as I make my way to the front door.
***********************************
Max
God! I’m such a pushover when it comes to her. She stooped low though using that ‘I’m a lost little puppy come help me’ face, gets me every time. She looks absolutely adorable when she does it. Her eyes get all droopy and she sticks out her bottom lip, and then she goes for the kill…she bats her eye lashes in the cutest way. It absolutely makes me submit to her without even realizing it until its too late.
I’m taking her to the bank so she can close her account, but I will not accept her money and that’s final.
We get to the bank and on our way back to my parent’s house, I can see her from the corner of my eye, she’s currently humming to the song on the radio. She has no idea how beautiful she is, she makes my heart race without even doing anything.
Something has been on my mind all day and I have to ask her before we leave tomorrow.
“Liz?”
“Hmm.”
“I…I need to ask you something.”
“Okay Max, shoot.” She leans over and turns off the radio, now that I have her undivided attention I don’t know how to put this without making her feel bad, because that’s not my intention.
“Do you really want to come live with me?” She bites down on her bottom lip, which tells me she’s already been thinking about this, but was just afraid to bring it up.
“I thought about it Max and I do want to go with you. I told you that.” She looks me right in the eyes and I know she’s not lying. Unfortunately, that’s not what I meant.
“No, I mean do you want to live with me? Meaning, I don’t know. I could get you your own place; you know so you don’t…I don’t know. Do you know what I’m trying to say?”
“Yes I do.” It’s a good thing she does because at this point I have no idea what my point was.
“Max, I thought about asking you to help me get a place until I get a job, but then I thought about it and why should you if you have room in your house there’s really no point in you shelling out more money for no reason.”
“No Liz, if you want I can get you your own place, I don’t want you to feel like I wouldn’t do it for you or that money means more, because it doesn’t.” She reaches her hand out and places it on my knee. I swallow the thick lump that has formed in my throat.
“Max, I’m serious. I want to stay with you and Michael. It will be fun don’t you think?” She has a huge smile plastered on her face and I can’t help but grin back at her. It’s going to be something all right.
***********************************
Liz
I appreciate Max’s offer to get me my own place, but I will not have him wasting his money on me like that. I know to him money is not everything, but to me I know how hard he worked to earn that money and he shouldn’t be taken for granted just because he has money.
I’m sure everything will be fine and I can’t lie about the fact that I can’t wait to just hang out with him and Michael. I know that he has a girlfriend, which I need to find out more about because if this afternoon was any indication on how their relationship is going, I’ve got my work cut out for me.
Work, you ask? Well let’s just say that now that I have Max Evans in my life again…I have no intentions of letting him go. I know it’s not going to be easy because obviously he has made a commitment to his girlfriend, but I don’t know if he loves her or not. That will be the determining factor in how Max and I move forward.
I have no doubts about the fact that we need to have several serious conversations but I just want to enjoy this time with him before all the seriousness starts.
“What are you thinking about over there?” He says to me in a teasingly voice.
“Just thinking that I’m going to miss everyone here, but that I can’t wait to start a new life.”
“Yeah, well have you thought about what you wanted to do with the rest of your life Liz?”
“I have a few ideas Max.” I say smiling at him then turning my gaze towards the window.
“Good I’m glad Liz.” I wonder how he would feel right now, if he knew that most of those ideas included him.
“Alright Liz, I need to get a few things done before I leave so try and get some rest okay? I’ll pick you at around 5.” He says to me after we get back to his parents house and he says his goodbyes for the evening.
“Okay Max, I’ll be ready.” He leans in and places a soft kiss on my cheek and whispers in my ear, “Goodnight Parker”. I can’t help but smile shyly.
After Max leaves I stop in the kitchen to grab something to drink before I head upstairs to bed, it’s only about six thirty, but I still have to rummage through all those shopping bags and then put my travel clothes in the duffel bags we bought today.
When I enter the kitchen I see Diane and Phillip sitting at the table drinking coffee.
“Hi.”
“Oh Liz honey, how did it go today?” Diane asks me turning in her seat.
“It was very tiring and Max was grumpy in the beginning but all and all it was fun.” I say honestly because it was. I open the fridge and remove a bottle of water and make my way to the kitchen table and take a seat next to Phillip.
“Well I’m glad you enjoyed it, I saw how many bags there were, so by the looks of it Max must have been very grumpy.” We both look at one another and start laughing.
“Now I have to defend my son here, I’ve only been shopping with Diane a handful of times and I will say that it was not fun. She can never make up her mind and I’m usually hungry at all time.”
“You and Max are one in the same in that department, he just complains that all he can do in the mall is smell food and it makes him hungry. Even after he’s eaten he’ll pass an ice cream stand or something and say. ‘hmm that looks good’ I have to just laugh because he wouldn’t be Max if he didn’t do that.” I say with a far away look and smile plastered on my face. When I finally snap out of my Max filled haze I see both his parents looking at one another and smiling.
“Liz?”
“Yes Diane.”
“Are you okay honey, I mean really okay?”
“I am now.” I say honestly because after what Max told me last night, I know that they all love and care about me and always have my best interests at heart.
“Good, if you ever need anything and I mean anything please don’t hesitate to ask us okay?” Phillip says to me sincerely, I can see the worry in his eyes, I know that worry because Max carries that same look once in awhile.
“I know and I promise that if I ever have a problem I will let someone know, whether its you guys or Max. I won’t ever try to handle something like that on my own again.” I say it that way because I know that Max must have told everyone about Jordan and I, which I am also grateful for him doing. I don’t want to relive that again.
“I need to head to bed now, big day tomorrow, goodnight.” I begin to rise from the table and about halfway up I hear Diane say to me.
“We love you Liz.” I try to bite back the tears but it’s too late they spill forward and Diane rises from her chair and meets me halfway, wraps her arms around me as my tears fall.
After she disentangles herself from me, Phillip rises and embraces me as well, much quicker than Diane, but just as effective.
I leave the room after looking at both of them, they know that I love them just the same just by the expressions on their faces.
I’m in Damian’s room for a good half hour and I’m just about done. I walk into the bathroom to change and when I reemerge I see Damian lying on the bed with his head on the pillow.
“Hey big guy, what are you doing?” I ask him he looks upset. I sit next to him on the bed and tap his leg.
“I don’t want you to go.” He turns and I can see the tears in his eyes. I turn and reach out my arms for him. He quickly rises and plants himself on my lap. I stroke his hair softly.
“I know you don’t but I have to go with Uncle Max right now, but you’ll be moving soon and we’ll all be together again real soon.” I try to say so that he understand it’s not permanent and that we’ll be together.
“Yeah but who’s gonna watch me after school?” He’s worried that no one will be here for him.
“Oh sweetie don’t worry grandma is going to watch you, she’s not going to work anymore so she can be here for you.”
“But I want you…I love grandma but I want you Aunt Liz.” I wrap my arms around him and give him a big squeeze.
“I know you do, but you know what?”
“What?” He looks up at me with hopeful eyes.
“ I’m going to call you everyday and I want to know about what you did at school and all your girlfriends.” I tease him, he doesn’t like it when anyone talks about all the girls that like him at school or that he likes.
“Aunt Liiiz. I don’t have girlfriends. I not allowed to mommy says I have to finish college first.” Isabel would say that.
“College hmm, that’s a looong time you know. I think that maybe you’ll have a girlfriend before then cause you’re so handsome.”
“I know mommy always say I’m hansome.” I laugh at how he messes up the word but he’s just too adorable to correct right now.
“Aunt Liz?”
“Yes?”
“You gonna live with Uncle Max right?” I wonder where this line of questioning is going to lead.
“Yes I am for a little while why?”
“Well if you’re going to live with him does that mean you and Uncle Max are gonna get married?”
“M-married?” I choke out.
“Yeah, see Tommy…this boy in my class says that his Uncle Chris and his Aunt Susan live together and they are married, so you and Uncle Max are gonna live together so you have to get married.” When he explains it like that it’s completely logical except for the fact that Max and I are not getting married, probably not ever.
“No sweetie, Uncle Max and I aren’t getting married. I’m going to live with him but we are friends. Do you understand? I mean your mommy and daddy aren’t married so it’s almost the same thing.”
“I understand Aunt Liz, because this girl Christina in my class her daddy and mommy live together but they don’t have to be married cause they had a baby together.” Oh brother I am not getting into that conversation.
“Okay Damian how about we get you ready for bed.”
“Sure.” He slides off the bed and I pull out his pajamas from one of his dresser drawers and hand them to him so he can enter the bathroom to change.
He reemerges shortly and walks over to the bed and I’m already under the covers, I’m suddenly so tired. I guess the day is finally catching up with me. I’m starting to close my eyes when Damian’s voice grabs my attention.
“Aunt Liz?”
“Yes honey?” He sits on top of the bed and I scoot slightly over to make room for him, he lays beside me and places his head on the pillow next to me.
“Do you love Uncle Max?” Well that’s an easy question for the evening.
“Yes I love Uncle Max.” He pulls the covers up to his neck before he speaks again.
“I want you and Uncle Max to get married, can you Aunt Liz? Uncle Max loves you too so you can do it right?” What did I say about this being an easy line of questioning? Boy I was wrong.
“I’m sorry honey but we can’t, okay now why don’t we try to go to sleep.” I say trying to change the subject quick!
“Okay, night I love you.”
“Night Damian, I love you too.” I wrap my arm around him and turn off the light on the nightstand. I’m sure Isabel will take him from the bed when she’s ready. That’s the last thing I think about before I fall into a deep sleep.
TBC
Isabel
I really took to heart what Liz told me about forgiving and earning back trust. I’ve done things in the past and even so much as the present that I’m ashamed of. I don’t know how I even manage to look at myself in the mirror everyday. I have no one to blame but myself for everything.
I put Liz’s life in danger because why? Because I thought she would just end up hurting Max, why didn’t I just listen to Max when he told me to stay out of it? It was after all just between him and Liz, but I knew how much he loved her even now, when he looks at her you can just tell. I wonder though if Dariana is going to notice, I mean the girl would have to be blind not to see the chemistry between those two.
I think my reason for doing the things I did to Liz was because I was so tired of seeing Max pine after her, although he never made his feelings clear to her…ever. So I can now understand why she felt she needed to do the things she did, when my father explained to us this morning after Max and Liz left the house, what Liz had gone through.
I mean he said just based on what Max had told him, Liz was terrified for his life. Not hers but his, and she’s leaving because she knows that Jordan is still out there and if he finds her she’s afraid that he’ll do something to anyone of us. She has put everyone above herself, all this time. And what was I doing? Being Miss High and Mighty, telling Liz she wasn’t good enough for Max and trying to keep them apart. Max was right I am a cold-hearted bitch.
I was reprimanding her and I was the one who considered cheating on my boyfriend, the father of my child. I just don’t know what to do at this point in my life. I know what Liz says is true, Max will forgive me, just like Alex; but I don’t deserve to be forgiven I’ve done nothing to earn that or the trust I will be holding my breath for.
Alex and I have not told Damian about our separation, but the time is coming and I just hope that he understands. I hate to think of my baby hurting over what I have done, I claim to love everyone around me but I do nothing to prove that love, things are going to have to change for me and soon. I cannot continue down this destructive path much longer.
“Hey Iz.” I turn around and see Alex standing in our bedroom doorway.
“Hi.” This is so awkward; I don’t even know what to say to him.
“Can we talk for a minute?” He asks while hesitantly entering the room and taking a seat on the edge of the bed.
“Yes, what did you want to talk about?” Not really sure if I want to know.
“Liz.”
“Liz?”
“Yes, I need to know why Isabel? Why did you do it? Did you hate her? I know you don’t now; at least I’d like to think you don’t but why? She’s so good to Damian…I.” He stops and looks right at me. I suck in a deep breath, because I truly don’t know how to answer him.
“Alex, I don’t know. I know that’s not an acceptable answer but I truly don’t know. Liz is great with Damian from day one, she has been so loving and affectionate towards him and I know he means so much to her, it wasn’t because of that. I feel no jealously towards her for that, in fact I feel really lucky to have someone like her in Damian’s life, but…”
“But what Isabel? I need for you to help me out here.” His irritation was growing rapidly at this point. I rise from the bed and walk towards the window that faces the backyard, I can see my mom playing with Damian, and I have decided that now is the best time to tell Alex the truth, he’s not going to like it but it’s time I stopped lying.
“Jealously Alex. It was because I’m jealous of Liz.”
“Jealous why?”
“You don’t get it do you? Max loved…loves her she is everything he wants in another person, she messes up and you know what? Everyone loves her everyone always loves her. Me I mess up and I’m a bitch or heartless, I make mistakes everyone does but I’m the only one who gets punished for them. I know that sounds childish, but Max and Liz they don’t realize what they are or could be for that matter. He would walk through fire if it meant being with her in the end, even now…she broke his heart and he’s there. No matter what he will always protect her and be there for her.”
“What is that supposed to mean? That I’m not there for you Isabel? Because I am…I’ve always been here you just never paid any attention.” I start to cry when I hear Alex’s voice crack. I turn around and bump right into him, he’s standing right in front of me; I didn’t realize he moved from his position on the bed.
“Isabel, I’ve always been here have I not made you feel important? Have I not told you how much I love you? That when you smile it lights up my whole world and I can’t help but smile because of you, just the thought of you makes me feel like a teenager again. Because I do Isabel, I’m sorry I…”
“No! Alex don’t apologize…don’t. What you’re saying is true, I know that you love me and trust me you have showed me time and time again…but I never paid attention. I take you for granted; I was so busy worried about Max and Liz that I ignored what was right in front of my face. I’m sorry Alex, you’ll never know how sorry I am, but I don’t know how to fix it. Just tell me its not too late, that you don’t hate me.” I’m in tears now, Alex quickly raises him arms and wraps them around me tenderly and brushes my hair through his fingers.
“Shh, Isabel, I don’t hate you, I’m hurt and you know that and I don’t know what’s going to happen to us Isabel. I know that I love you; I don’t think I can stop, but things have to change, I just don’t know how to do it right now. I need time okay?” He asks me with a hint of hope in his voice.
“Yes Alex, I can do that.” I push away to wipe the tears from my eyes, but Alex doesn’t release the hold he has on me. He raises one hand to my face and brushes the tears sliding down my cheeks and I look back up to him.
“Now, we need to get to school, so how about you go wash your beautiful face and I’ll meet you downstairs.” I just smile as he releases me so I can make my way into the bathroom to wash up.
I can only pray that he gives me a second chance to prove that I want to be with him and that he’s so important to me.
***********************************
Liz
“Come on Max!”
“No Liz, I already told you it’s not going to happen, so just drop it!” He crosses his arms over his chest as to say, ‘that’s final’.
“Fine! I’ll go myself.” I cross my arms over my chest mimicking his actions, showing him what he already knows to be true; I’m just as stubborn as him.
“You can’t walk that far Liz.” That’s what he thinks. I can walk pretty far, never owning a car makes you grow accustom to that.
“I don’t care I’ll take a bus…or a taxi or something!” I say in protest, why does he have to argue with me on this?
“Liz, be reasonable here.” He reaches an arm out to stop my movement as I walk to the hallway.
“I am, I told you the only way I would let you do it, is if you let me pay you back. And you’re going back on your word.” I huff, I should have known better. Why doesn’t he understand that I need to pay him back? I’ve spent well over the amount I have in the bank, but I have every intention of getting a job and paying him back.
“I never promised you, so you can’t even throw that card on the table at me. Liz just forget it.” He pleads with me, but I won’t let him pay my way for everything. It’s bad enough that I’ll be living with him and not paying rent.
“No.” I turn and head into the living room, knowing damn well it’s too late for me to walk that far into town, I just don’t want him thinking I’m taking advantage of him I think that’s what bothers me so much. He follows me into the living room and sits beside me on the couch without saying a word.
“Liz?” I turn my head and face the wall to my left.
“Come on…don’t be like that.” He gets up off the couch and kneels before me, trying to get me to look at him. Damn why does he have to be so cute about it.
“Please Max, just please take me.” I turn to face him and give him my ‘I’m a lost little puppy come help me’ face, and he sighs in defeat. Works every time!
“Okay I’ll take you, but Liz I’m not taking your money.”
“What-ever Maax!” I sing out as I make my way to the front door.
***********************************
Max
God! I’m such a pushover when it comes to her. She stooped low though using that ‘I’m a lost little puppy come help me’ face, gets me every time. She looks absolutely adorable when she does it. Her eyes get all droopy and she sticks out her bottom lip, and then she goes for the kill…she bats her eye lashes in the cutest way. It absolutely makes me submit to her without even realizing it until its too late.
I’m taking her to the bank so she can close her account, but I will not accept her money and that’s final.
We get to the bank and on our way back to my parent’s house, I can see her from the corner of my eye, she’s currently humming to the song on the radio. She has no idea how beautiful she is, she makes my heart race without even doing anything.
Something has been on my mind all day and I have to ask her before we leave tomorrow.
“Liz?”
“Hmm.”
“I…I need to ask you something.”
“Okay Max, shoot.” She leans over and turns off the radio, now that I have her undivided attention I don’t know how to put this without making her feel bad, because that’s not my intention.
“Do you really want to come live with me?” She bites down on her bottom lip, which tells me she’s already been thinking about this, but was just afraid to bring it up.
“I thought about it Max and I do want to go with you. I told you that.” She looks me right in the eyes and I know she’s not lying. Unfortunately, that’s not what I meant.
“No, I mean do you want to live with me? Meaning, I don’t know. I could get you your own place; you know so you don’t…I don’t know. Do you know what I’m trying to say?”
“Yes I do.” It’s a good thing she does because at this point I have no idea what my point was.
“Max, I thought about asking you to help me get a place until I get a job, but then I thought about it and why should you if you have room in your house there’s really no point in you shelling out more money for no reason.”
“No Liz, if you want I can get you your own place, I don’t want you to feel like I wouldn’t do it for you or that money means more, because it doesn’t.” She reaches her hand out and places it on my knee. I swallow the thick lump that has formed in my throat.
“Max, I’m serious. I want to stay with you and Michael. It will be fun don’t you think?” She has a huge smile plastered on her face and I can’t help but grin back at her. It’s going to be something all right.
***********************************
Liz
I appreciate Max’s offer to get me my own place, but I will not have him wasting his money on me like that. I know to him money is not everything, but to me I know how hard he worked to earn that money and he shouldn’t be taken for granted just because he has money.
I’m sure everything will be fine and I can’t lie about the fact that I can’t wait to just hang out with him and Michael. I know that he has a girlfriend, which I need to find out more about because if this afternoon was any indication on how their relationship is going, I’ve got my work cut out for me.
Work, you ask? Well let’s just say that now that I have Max Evans in my life again…I have no intentions of letting him go. I know it’s not going to be easy because obviously he has made a commitment to his girlfriend, but I don’t know if he loves her or not. That will be the determining factor in how Max and I move forward.
I have no doubts about the fact that we need to have several serious conversations but I just want to enjoy this time with him before all the seriousness starts.
“What are you thinking about over there?” He says to me in a teasingly voice.
“Just thinking that I’m going to miss everyone here, but that I can’t wait to start a new life.”
“Yeah, well have you thought about what you wanted to do with the rest of your life Liz?”
“I have a few ideas Max.” I say smiling at him then turning my gaze towards the window.
“Good I’m glad Liz.” I wonder how he would feel right now, if he knew that most of those ideas included him.
“Alright Liz, I need to get a few things done before I leave so try and get some rest okay? I’ll pick you at around 5.” He says to me after we get back to his parents house and he says his goodbyes for the evening.
“Okay Max, I’ll be ready.” He leans in and places a soft kiss on my cheek and whispers in my ear, “Goodnight Parker”. I can’t help but smile shyly.
After Max leaves I stop in the kitchen to grab something to drink before I head upstairs to bed, it’s only about six thirty, but I still have to rummage through all those shopping bags and then put my travel clothes in the duffel bags we bought today.
When I enter the kitchen I see Diane and Phillip sitting at the table drinking coffee.
“Hi.”
“Oh Liz honey, how did it go today?” Diane asks me turning in her seat.
“It was very tiring and Max was grumpy in the beginning but all and all it was fun.” I say honestly because it was. I open the fridge and remove a bottle of water and make my way to the kitchen table and take a seat next to Phillip.
“Well I’m glad you enjoyed it, I saw how many bags there were, so by the looks of it Max must have been very grumpy.” We both look at one another and start laughing.
“Now I have to defend my son here, I’ve only been shopping with Diane a handful of times and I will say that it was not fun. She can never make up her mind and I’m usually hungry at all time.”
“You and Max are one in the same in that department, he just complains that all he can do in the mall is smell food and it makes him hungry. Even after he’s eaten he’ll pass an ice cream stand or something and say. ‘hmm that looks good’ I have to just laugh because he wouldn’t be Max if he didn’t do that.” I say with a far away look and smile plastered on my face. When I finally snap out of my Max filled haze I see both his parents looking at one another and smiling.
“Liz?”
“Yes Diane.”
“Are you okay honey, I mean really okay?”
“I am now.” I say honestly because after what Max told me last night, I know that they all love and care about me and always have my best interests at heart.
“Good, if you ever need anything and I mean anything please don’t hesitate to ask us okay?” Phillip says to me sincerely, I can see the worry in his eyes, I know that worry because Max carries that same look once in awhile.
“I know and I promise that if I ever have a problem I will let someone know, whether its you guys or Max. I won’t ever try to handle something like that on my own again.” I say it that way because I know that Max must have told everyone about Jordan and I, which I am also grateful for him doing. I don’t want to relive that again.
“I need to head to bed now, big day tomorrow, goodnight.” I begin to rise from the table and about halfway up I hear Diane say to me.
“We love you Liz.” I try to bite back the tears but it’s too late they spill forward and Diane rises from her chair and meets me halfway, wraps her arms around me as my tears fall.
After she disentangles herself from me, Phillip rises and embraces me as well, much quicker than Diane, but just as effective.
I leave the room after looking at both of them, they know that I love them just the same just by the expressions on their faces.
I’m in Damian’s room for a good half hour and I’m just about done. I walk into the bathroom to change and when I reemerge I see Damian lying on the bed with his head on the pillow.
“Hey big guy, what are you doing?” I ask him he looks upset. I sit next to him on the bed and tap his leg.
“I don’t want you to go.” He turns and I can see the tears in his eyes. I turn and reach out my arms for him. He quickly rises and plants himself on my lap. I stroke his hair softly.
“I know you don’t but I have to go with Uncle Max right now, but you’ll be moving soon and we’ll all be together again real soon.” I try to say so that he understand it’s not permanent and that we’ll be together.
“Yeah but who’s gonna watch me after school?” He’s worried that no one will be here for him.
“Oh sweetie don’t worry grandma is going to watch you, she’s not going to work anymore so she can be here for you.”
“But I want you…I love grandma but I want you Aunt Liz.” I wrap my arms around him and give him a big squeeze.
“I know you do, but you know what?”
“What?” He looks up at me with hopeful eyes.
“ I’m going to call you everyday and I want to know about what you did at school and all your girlfriends.” I tease him, he doesn’t like it when anyone talks about all the girls that like him at school or that he likes.
“Aunt Liiiz. I don’t have girlfriends. I not allowed to mommy says I have to finish college first.” Isabel would say that.
“College hmm, that’s a looong time you know. I think that maybe you’ll have a girlfriend before then cause you’re so handsome.”
“I know mommy always say I’m hansome.” I laugh at how he messes up the word but he’s just too adorable to correct right now.
“Aunt Liz?”
“Yes?”
“You gonna live with Uncle Max right?” I wonder where this line of questioning is going to lead.
“Yes I am for a little while why?”
“Well if you’re going to live with him does that mean you and Uncle Max are gonna get married?”
“M-married?” I choke out.
“Yeah, see Tommy…this boy in my class says that his Uncle Chris and his Aunt Susan live together and they are married, so you and Uncle Max are gonna live together so you have to get married.” When he explains it like that it’s completely logical except for the fact that Max and I are not getting married, probably not ever.
“No sweetie, Uncle Max and I aren’t getting married. I’m going to live with him but we are friends. Do you understand? I mean your mommy and daddy aren’t married so it’s almost the same thing.”
“I understand Aunt Liz, because this girl Christina in my class her daddy and mommy live together but they don’t have to be married cause they had a baby together.” Oh brother I am not getting into that conversation.
“Okay Damian how about we get you ready for bed.”
“Sure.” He slides off the bed and I pull out his pajamas from one of his dresser drawers and hand them to him so he can enter the bathroom to change.
He reemerges shortly and walks over to the bed and I’m already under the covers, I’m suddenly so tired. I guess the day is finally catching up with me. I’m starting to close my eyes when Damian’s voice grabs my attention.
“Aunt Liz?”
“Yes honey?” He sits on top of the bed and I scoot slightly over to make room for him, he lays beside me and places his head on the pillow next to me.
“Do you love Uncle Max?” Well that’s an easy question for the evening.
“Yes I love Uncle Max.” He pulls the covers up to his neck before he speaks again.
“I want you and Uncle Max to get married, can you Aunt Liz? Uncle Max loves you too so you can do it right?” What did I say about this being an easy line of questioning? Boy I was wrong.
“I’m sorry honey but we can’t, okay now why don’t we try to go to sleep.” I say trying to change the subject quick!
“Okay, night I love you.”
“Night Damian, I love you too.” I wrap my arm around him and turn off the light on the nightstand. I’m sure Isabel will take him from the bed when she’s ready. That’s the last thing I think about before I fall into a deep sleep.
TBC
Last edited by Behrsgirl77 on Wed Sep 29, 2004 5:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Behrsgirl77
- Obsessed Roswellian
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Chapter 35
Chapter 35
Max
I managed to trade in the rental car I had for a Jeep rental, which was the best I could get in Roswell. I figured we’re going to need something a little more comfortable for the trip.
I’m headed to my parent’s house to pick up Liz. I hope she’s up and ready to go, but knowing her, she values her sleep she’s probably still sleeping peacefully.
I enter the house my mom is already up and busying herself in the kitchen.
“Hey Mom, what are you doing up so early?” I approach her and place a kiss on her cheek.
“Max, you and Liz are leaving and I won’t see you for at least what two months before you’re father and I can come visit, I have to see you off. You’re father will be down shortly.”
“Mom, stop getting all sentimental on me. You always say that every time you see me. Soon I’ll be so close that you’re going to tell me to move.” I say jokingly to her.
“Max, it’s not funny, I barely see Michael you know? Lord knows he doesn’t call me like he should be calling his mother.”
“I know Mom, Michael doesn’t do it on purpose.” I try and soothe her, but she knows Michael. He has gotten much better than he was, he doesn’t do it on purpose but he doesn’t really give that a lot of thought.
“Alright, enough about phone calls and visitations to your mother, now you have everything you need right? Liz is still asleep because I haven’t seen her.”
“Yes Mom, I have everything but Liz.” Her head snaps up and she looks at me strangely.
“What? What did I say?” I ask her confused.
“Nothing.” She says a little too quickly for my liking.
“Mom? Just tell me.”
“Do you love her Max?” What?! Where is this question coming from?
“Who? Dariana?” I can only imagine that’s who she’s talking about right? Guess not because she’s shaking her head.
“Liz, Max do you love Liz?”
“Yes Mom, I love her, you know that. Why are you asking me this?” She puts down the cup of coffee in her hands and grabs hold of one of my hands.
“Max, Michael broke things off with Angela because he was still in love with Maria and he couldn’t get married to Angela because of that, because he was lying to himself. Now Max, you’re not doing that with Liz are you?” I don’t even know how to answer her, because I’m not so sure I understand the question.
“What lying to myself? No Mom, I love Liz there is no doubt but…”
“Are you in love with her Max?” Talk about cut to the heart of things. I just nod my head; I can’t lie to my mom.
“Oh honey, what are you going to do? I mean you can’t be with Dariana if you’re still in love with Liz.”
“Yes I can Mom, just because I still have strong feelings for Liz doesn’t mean that we can go down that road again. We already know we don’t communicate and that was our biggest problem.”
“Yes, but now that you know you need to communicate better why don’t you try again and just… I don’t know, see what happens.” She says to me, like it’s the simplest thing in the world.
“Because I can’t.” I pull away and take a seat at the kitchen table and tell my mother why I can’t.
“Mom, she broke my heart, she used the two things in the world that she knew would kill me and I know that she was just trying to protect me, and that I need to get over it, but she knows everything about me Mom, I can’t open up to her again because she is the one person in the world that can destroy me. I can’t go through that again, as much as I would love to be with her like that…I can’t. I’m not made that way.” My Mom comes over and kneels in front of me and cradles my face in her hands.
“Sweetheart, I know she hurt you, you hurt her too by not telling her your true feelings, you were so afraid of rejection from her that you ended up hurting yourself in the process. Max, things aren’t perfect but if you have a chance to experience true love you shouldn’t turn away from it because you’re scared of getting hurt. That’s love Max, it’s painful and sometimes tragic, but it’s also so beautiful and it’s something that a lot of people search their whole lives for. And I think that what you and Liz have is that kind of aw inspiring love. I just hope you both realize it before it’s too late and more damage is done.”
“I appreciate it Mom, but even if I was prepared for that again, I don’t even know how Liz feels about everything.” She rises and turns to walk out of the kitchen but not before she tells me.
“Well it’s a good thing you have a two day car ride to talk huh?” Damn! She got me there but I don’t even want to think about the fact that I will be with Liz in close confines for hours.
I head upstairs to wake Liz up. I creep softly into Damian’s room and the site before my eyes has me holding my breath in. Liz is sleeping on the bed with Damian, her arms are wrapped around him, and they look so adorable. I walk slowly to her side of the bed and kneel down behind her sleeping form. I reach out a hand to her shoulder and gently shake her.
“Liz.” I whisper trying not to wake Damian.
“Liz. Wake up, come on its time to go.” I shake her once again this time a little harder.
“Maax.” I stop my movements, that breathy whisper thing; I forgot what that sounded like. She turns around slowly and I want to do nothing more than kiss her lips. I don’t have time to think about that just yet though because she opens her eyes to tiny slits and smiles at me.
“Morning, time to go?” She yawns.
“Yes it is, I’m just gonna grab your bags.” I rise and I feel her reach her hand out to me and grab my leg. I stop, look down and follow her arm up then look at her face, the room isn’t that well lit but I can clearly see her.
“Liz?”
“Max, help me up, please.”
“Yeah sure.” I turn and reach out my hand to her as she places her smaller one in mine and moves the covers off her body and begins to rise from the bed. When the covers fall off I can’t help but stare at her. She wearing a pair of cut-off shorts and a tank top and her legs are all creamy and they look so soft, I just want to run my hands up and down them and…
“Max?” Oh shit! She just caught me checking her out. I groan inwardly, this is a lot harder than I thought and we don’t even live together yet.
“Ah, sorry Liz.” I help her up and she picks up her bag and walks towards the bathroom but not before she turns around and smiles at me. I can’t help but smile back. Oh my God! I’m a smiling fool! I roll my eyes heavenward this is getting really complicated.
***********************************
Liz
To say that having Max wake me up this morning was great is an understatement.
And to top things off, he was checking me out. Ha! I love it! I know I’m terrible but I want to be with him, I have decided I want him back and I will try as hard as I can to fight for him. Wonder when I decided this? Hmm, when I opened my eyes and saw Max’s beautiful eyes staring into mine this morning, I realized I want to see those eyes every morning for the rest of my life.
I change quickly and head back out to Damian’s room. He’s now up and quickly removing the sleepiness from his eyes.
“Morning sweetie.”
“Aunt Liz! I thought you were gone already!” He quickly rises and runs right at me. I lean down and scoop him up.
“No! I would never leave without saying goodbye to you.” I kiss his cheek and he wraps his tiny arms around my neck.
“You ready to go Liz. Oh hey Damian.” As soon as Max enters the room, Damian motions for me to put him down and he runs to Max. Who, of course, leans down and hoists him up on his chest. I’m going to miss him so much. I can’t think about it right now because I’ll breakdown.
“Uncle Max! I missed you!”
“I missed you too big guy!”
“I’m a miss you and Aunt Liz so much!”
“I know you will, we’ll miss you too but we’ll talk to you everyday just like we do now okay?”
***********************************
Max
“Yeah, tell Uncle Mike that he didn’t call me yesterday and I missed him.” I look at Liz she looks so upset, I know that leaving Damian is a really big thing for her. The longest time she’s not been in his presence was the two weeks she was in a coma, other than that it was for a few days at a time the most. I rub Damian’s back and tell him that I will tell Michael to call him.
“Alright big guy we have to go, so how about I finish taking Aunt Liz’s bags downstairs and you guys can walk down together.”
“Okay.” I look at Liz and I can see the tears fighting to spill forth. I know she’s trying really hard not to break down. I grab her hand and give it a small squeeze. She gives me a tiny smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. I lean down and pick up the last of her bags and make my way downstairs.
A few minutes later both Liz and Damian make their way downstairs, everyone else is in the hallway just waiting for the both of them. Liz walks over and her tears are gathering, I want to just reach out and hold her and tell her everything will be okay.
She turns to Isabel first.
“Thank you for letting him stay with me last night Isabel.” Isabel just smiles and wraps her arms around Liz. I hear Isabel say softly, “Thank you Liz, for everything.”
Liz goes around the tiny space saying her goodbyes when she’s done she lets out a long breath and looks up at me. She managed to hold back her tears but not for much longer. She reaches out her hand to me and I look down and take her hand, we walk to the car not looking back I know that she can’t right now. Damian was in tears and I know that was killing her.
I helped her in the car and she was silent until I reached the main highway, she let out another loud breath and her tears starting falling steadily and the sobs escaping, her shoulders shaking.
“Liz, baby it’s okay. You’ll see them all really soon, I promise.” I reach out my hand to her and she grabs onto to it like a lifeline. She turns her head towards me and the sadness I see is enough to make me cry. I pull over and turn the car off.
“Max…I…I…” She breaks down once again and I can’t take it anymore.
“Shh Liz, it’s okay.” I can’t watch her like this, I turn in my seat and motion for her to climb over the seat and sit on my lap. I wrap my arms around her as she cries. All I can do is wait until she’s ready for me to let go. She has her head buried in my neck and I can feel her tears soaking my shirt, I don’t care right now, I would do anything right now if it meant she wouldn’t have to feel another ounce of pain and heartache.
“Liz, look at me.” I ask her after a few minutes and she sniffles a little. I wipe the tears from her eyes.
“If you don’t want to go, it’s okay I under-”
“No! Max I want to go with you, I’m just going to miss them that’s all but they’ll be moving soon so it’s okay.”
“You sure?” I ask her because even though I said I wouldn’t take no for an answer, if she really didn’t want to go I wouldn’t make her, not if she’s going to be sad. She looks me right in the eyes and frames my face in her hands.
“Max, there isn’t anywhere I’d rather be than with you.” She says to me and then her eyes drift towards my lips and she leans in and closes her eyes, oh, this is not good at all. I can’t help it though I slowly close my eyes and I feel her breath on my lips, last time we stopped but this time I have no intentions of stopping. We are a mere breath from each other, my heart is racing and I wonder if hers is as well, I wait in anticipation of feeling her soft lips on mine.
But it never happens because my fucking cell phone shrills to life. Fuck! Liz wiggles off my lap back onto her seat and straps the seatbelt across her chest.
“Hello!” I ground into the phone.
“Well, hello to you too, lover boy.”
“It is entirely too early for that shit, what do you want?”
“Hmm, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning huh? Or was it that he woke up alone?”
“Shut up! Now, seriously, Michael what do you want?” I’m so irritated; I’m going to kill my own brother if he doesn’t spit it out.
“I called to tell you that you’re psycho girlfriend dropped off the key after of course she woke me up at three in the morning.” I groan out loud not caring that Liz can hear me.
“What?! Why was she there so early? I told her to leave it but that didn’t mean to just show up. Damnit! I’m sorry Michael, I know you have to head to work in a little while.” I say because I know how hard Michael is working, as he usually does, but he’s been picking up my slack.
“Hey bro, it’s okay. I’m just glad she doesn’t have key anymore. Seriously though you need to have a little chat, because um…you know what never mind.”
“What?! Michael just tell me.” I sigh heavily into the phone, it’s too early to have such a serious conversation. I look over at Liz and she’s looking out the window trying her best to act like she’s ignoring the conversation.
“She brought over this bag this morning and asked if I could just leave it in your bedroom.”
“Bag? What was it for?”
“I don’t know man she left it and I brought it to your room.”
“Come on Michael I know that you looked so stop the bullshit.”
“Ha! You know me too well. So anyway after she left babbling something about she really needed to talk to you about something important, I brought the bag to your room and opened it up and let’s just say, if she doesn’t go to her house for a few days she won’t have to worry about a change of clothes.”
“WHAT!” I didn’t realize I yelled so loud until I saw Liz jump in her seat. “Hold on Michael. Liz, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay Max, I know you didn’t, is everything okay?” She asked me concerned.
“Yeah for now, that is until I get home.” I offer her a small smile to which she returns warmly.
“Michael?”
“Yup that’s me.”
“Ha ha, look, thanks for calling me, but I have to head out on the road now or we’ll never get there.”
“Oh sorry about that, anyway let me talk to Liz real quick.”
“Okay later.”
“Michael wants to talk to you.” She reaches out and grabs the phone from my hand and I turn the car on and start driving, while she talks to Michael.
***********************************
Liz
I listened to Max talking to Michael about who I can only assume is his girlfriend. Wow! He sounds really upset about this key thing; hmm I wonder what happened there. And this mysterious bag, I will have to ask Max about her when we stop tonight. I’m beginning to think I’m missing something between them; maybe he’s not as happy as I think he is with her. Then why is he with her? I mean we almost kissed so that means something…it has too, Max would never cheat…but he was about to… technically, right?
I need to stop reading into situations; we haven’t even talked about anything having to do with us…together so I need to just keep myself in check.
“WHAT!” I jump from my seat; I don’t think I have ever heard Max yell like that.
“Liz, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay Max, I know you didn’t, is everything okay?”
“Yeah for now, that is until I get home.” Wow! Sounds like it’s going to be an interesting homecoming. Well, now I’m really excited to meet this Dari…whatever her name is. This might be easier than I thought. I know that Max and I have a lot to talk about but it won’t hurt to have her out of the picture now would it? Oh, Max is telling me something.
“Michael wants to talk to you.” I reach out and grab the phone from him.
“Hi Michael!”
“Hey Liz, how are you feeling?”
“I’m fine, really.”
“Okay look I just want to tell you that I can’t wait until you get here, I miss you. You know that right?” He’s so sweet to me, I know he feels bad but his words come from love not pity. Michael doesn’t do pity, that I know for sure.
“I know I miss you too. Oh and be ready for chick flick night.” I say jokingly with him, he just groans.
“Liiz, can we not talk about that. Hell, even Maria doesn’t know about that.”
“Yet Michael, she doesn’t know about it yet.” I tease him.
“Liz! You can’t do that to me.”
“I can Michael but you know I won’t. So how are you doing?” I only ask because Max told me about him and Angela and I want to make sure he’s not regretting his decision or anything.
“I’m doing better, it’s weird because I’m not that upset about it you know. I thought I would be upset or I don’t know sad, but I’m not. What does that mean Liz?”
“It means you really weren’t in love with her. You cared about her and yeah, in a way you loved her, but your heart could never belong to her.” I tell him sincerely, because that’s what I believe the problem was. He still loves Maria; I just wonder how Maria is taking all of this information. I can’t wait to get there and I can finally talk to her.
“Yeah, you’re right Liz. I’m just scared that she’s not going to feel that way.”
“Are you crazy!” I yelled and I saw Max’s head snap in my direction.
“Sorry Max.” He just chuckles.
“Liz, what are you talking about?”
“Michael clear the cobwebs would you…Maria is crazy about you. She never stopped loving you don’t you know that?”
“I know Liz, but what if it…”
“Stop right there Michael, I never said it was going to be easy, in fact it’s going to be the hardest thing you have to face in a relationship that has already gone bad once, but if in the end you both are happy, I should like to hope it would be all worth it.”
“You’re right Liz, God! I’ve missed you so much.” I just giggle into the phone; I know exactly what he means. We hang up shortly thereafter and I hand the phone back to Max.
“Is everything okay?” He asked me concerned.
“Yeah Michael is just sweating over Maria.”
“Oh, you know, I don’t think I told you about Maria coming up, did I?”
“No you didn’t! Really? I miss her so much.”
“I know you do. Yeah, she’s coming up at the end of next week because she’s having a concert and she wants us to go.” I’ve never seen Maria live on a stage before. I’ve seen her on T.V. but that’s about it.
“Really?! Wow! I can’t wait then. Who else is going?” I ask because I think that’s the best icebreaker to get into the conversation about his girlfriend, but if I know Max he’ll avoid it like the plague.
“Michael, of course, me, you and probably Dariana. But I’m not sure yet.” Hmm what does ‘not sure yet’ mean? After that though, he grows silent, like he has something on his mind. I don’t press him right away; I just lean forward and turn the radio back on.
After about an hour or so Max asks if I was hungry, which of course I was, I was starving. So we pulled up to a diner off the highway. We ordered our food and are currently sitting opposite one another.
“Tell me about her.” He starts making this choking sound and he looks up at me in shock.
***********************************
Max
“Tell me about her.” What?! No fucking way she’s asking me about Dariana, no! I must be hearing things. Because there is no way I’m talking about my girlfriend to Liz. Hell, I don’t even know how to talk to Liz about my girlfriend because I never had one while I was with her. I wonder if I ignore it if she’ll let it pass, I chance a look at her, and well all I can say is…fuck me!
“Liz, wh-what do you want to know?” I stutter out. Since when do I stutter? Anyway…
“I mean, like what does she look like, what is she like, her personality things, she likes to do? I am going to be seeing a lot of her so I’d like to be prepared.” Prepared for what? Where the hell is the waitress with the food?! Good service is hard to come by nowadays, especially when said food could save my ass here.
“Well um, she’s about Isabel’s height, she has long dark hair and brown eyes. I take it from your short conversation with her that you know she’s Spanish and she works a lot and she loves to dance. It’s her most favorite thing to do. She doesn’t like sports, movies or reality shows…” Liz cuts me off from my rambling…thank God for small favors.
“Is she funny?” Funny? I honestly don’t know if she is…Wow! I can’t believe I don’t know.
“I guess.”
“You guess Max? I mean she’s either funny or not.” Why is Liz pushing this subject?
“I don’t know Liz, I wasn’t with her for her comedic performance.” I said a little irritated at this point. I don’t know why Liz is choosing now to ask me all these questions about Dariana.
“Max… you’ve been with the girl for what? Seven months or whatever and you don’t know if she’s funny? Doesn’t that sound weird to you?”
“Liz, why do you care if she’s funny or not? It doesn’t matter and…”
“Yes it matters Max, because you and Michael together are just funny so I can’t imagine that she managed to change you that much in a few months. So if she’s not funny, doesn’t like sports, movies and hates reality TV shows, what the hell do you have in common then?”
“I don’t fucking know Liz, okay?! Is that what you want to hear? Will that make you happy? I don’t have anything in common with her, but I didn’t get together with her to talk if you know what I mean!” Oh shit! I couldn’t stop the words from rolling off my tongue quick enough. I can’t believe I just said that. She looks down and I can hear her sniffling begin. I rise from my side of the booth and sit beside her.
“Get away from me Max!” She bites out.
“Liz, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m just frustrated and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“No, just leave me alone!” She pushes past me and walks out of the diner. Luckily it was still pretty empty so there weren’t that many witnesses to my outburst. I waited inside a few minutes longer and got the food to go because I knew Liz was really hungry still.
When I find her she’s standing outside in front of the Jeep. The sun has already risen and is shiny brightly. She’s wearing a light pink sundress that is blowing steadily around her, she’s crying and I want to kick myself because I’m the one that put those tears there. I just don’t know why she’s pushing the issue with Dariana, is she jealous or is it something else? I don’t have a lot of time to ponder those questions. I approach her and she quickly wipes her face with the back of her hands and moves to the passenger’s side door. I don’t say anything because if I do I know she’ll get even more upset, so I’ll just wait until I think she’s ready to talk to me.
We continue on for the next three hours in silence, she thankfully eats the food but after she said, “Thank you Max”, that was the end of conversation and silence once again filled the air.
TBC...
Max
I managed to trade in the rental car I had for a Jeep rental, which was the best I could get in Roswell. I figured we’re going to need something a little more comfortable for the trip.
I’m headed to my parent’s house to pick up Liz. I hope she’s up and ready to go, but knowing her, she values her sleep she’s probably still sleeping peacefully.
I enter the house my mom is already up and busying herself in the kitchen.
“Hey Mom, what are you doing up so early?” I approach her and place a kiss on her cheek.
“Max, you and Liz are leaving and I won’t see you for at least what two months before you’re father and I can come visit, I have to see you off. You’re father will be down shortly.”
“Mom, stop getting all sentimental on me. You always say that every time you see me. Soon I’ll be so close that you’re going to tell me to move.” I say jokingly to her.
“Max, it’s not funny, I barely see Michael you know? Lord knows he doesn’t call me like he should be calling his mother.”
“I know Mom, Michael doesn’t do it on purpose.” I try and soothe her, but she knows Michael. He has gotten much better than he was, he doesn’t do it on purpose but he doesn’t really give that a lot of thought.
“Alright, enough about phone calls and visitations to your mother, now you have everything you need right? Liz is still asleep because I haven’t seen her.”
“Yes Mom, I have everything but Liz.” Her head snaps up and she looks at me strangely.
“What? What did I say?” I ask her confused.
“Nothing.” She says a little too quickly for my liking.
“Mom? Just tell me.”
“Do you love her Max?” What?! Where is this question coming from?
“Who? Dariana?” I can only imagine that’s who she’s talking about right? Guess not because she’s shaking her head.
“Liz, Max do you love Liz?”
“Yes Mom, I love her, you know that. Why are you asking me this?” She puts down the cup of coffee in her hands and grabs hold of one of my hands.
“Max, Michael broke things off with Angela because he was still in love with Maria and he couldn’t get married to Angela because of that, because he was lying to himself. Now Max, you’re not doing that with Liz are you?” I don’t even know how to answer her, because I’m not so sure I understand the question.
“What lying to myself? No Mom, I love Liz there is no doubt but…”
“Are you in love with her Max?” Talk about cut to the heart of things. I just nod my head; I can’t lie to my mom.
“Oh honey, what are you going to do? I mean you can’t be with Dariana if you’re still in love with Liz.”
“Yes I can Mom, just because I still have strong feelings for Liz doesn’t mean that we can go down that road again. We already know we don’t communicate and that was our biggest problem.”
“Yes, but now that you know you need to communicate better why don’t you try again and just… I don’t know, see what happens.” She says to me, like it’s the simplest thing in the world.
“Because I can’t.” I pull away and take a seat at the kitchen table and tell my mother why I can’t.
“Mom, she broke my heart, she used the two things in the world that she knew would kill me and I know that she was just trying to protect me, and that I need to get over it, but she knows everything about me Mom, I can’t open up to her again because she is the one person in the world that can destroy me. I can’t go through that again, as much as I would love to be with her like that…I can’t. I’m not made that way.” My Mom comes over and kneels in front of me and cradles my face in her hands.
“Sweetheart, I know she hurt you, you hurt her too by not telling her your true feelings, you were so afraid of rejection from her that you ended up hurting yourself in the process. Max, things aren’t perfect but if you have a chance to experience true love you shouldn’t turn away from it because you’re scared of getting hurt. That’s love Max, it’s painful and sometimes tragic, but it’s also so beautiful and it’s something that a lot of people search their whole lives for. And I think that what you and Liz have is that kind of aw inspiring love. I just hope you both realize it before it’s too late and more damage is done.”
“I appreciate it Mom, but even if I was prepared for that again, I don’t even know how Liz feels about everything.” She rises and turns to walk out of the kitchen but not before she tells me.
“Well it’s a good thing you have a two day car ride to talk huh?” Damn! She got me there but I don’t even want to think about the fact that I will be with Liz in close confines for hours.
I head upstairs to wake Liz up. I creep softly into Damian’s room and the site before my eyes has me holding my breath in. Liz is sleeping on the bed with Damian, her arms are wrapped around him, and they look so adorable. I walk slowly to her side of the bed and kneel down behind her sleeping form. I reach out a hand to her shoulder and gently shake her.
“Liz.” I whisper trying not to wake Damian.
“Liz. Wake up, come on its time to go.” I shake her once again this time a little harder.
“Maax.” I stop my movements, that breathy whisper thing; I forgot what that sounded like. She turns around slowly and I want to do nothing more than kiss her lips. I don’t have time to think about that just yet though because she opens her eyes to tiny slits and smiles at me.
“Morning, time to go?” She yawns.
“Yes it is, I’m just gonna grab your bags.” I rise and I feel her reach her hand out to me and grab my leg. I stop, look down and follow her arm up then look at her face, the room isn’t that well lit but I can clearly see her.
“Liz?”
“Max, help me up, please.”
“Yeah sure.” I turn and reach out my hand to her as she places her smaller one in mine and moves the covers off her body and begins to rise from the bed. When the covers fall off I can’t help but stare at her. She wearing a pair of cut-off shorts and a tank top and her legs are all creamy and they look so soft, I just want to run my hands up and down them and…
“Max?” Oh shit! She just caught me checking her out. I groan inwardly, this is a lot harder than I thought and we don’t even live together yet.
“Ah, sorry Liz.” I help her up and she picks up her bag and walks towards the bathroom but not before she turns around and smiles at me. I can’t help but smile back. Oh my God! I’m a smiling fool! I roll my eyes heavenward this is getting really complicated.
***********************************
Liz
To say that having Max wake me up this morning was great is an understatement.
And to top things off, he was checking me out. Ha! I love it! I know I’m terrible but I want to be with him, I have decided I want him back and I will try as hard as I can to fight for him. Wonder when I decided this? Hmm, when I opened my eyes and saw Max’s beautiful eyes staring into mine this morning, I realized I want to see those eyes every morning for the rest of my life.
I change quickly and head back out to Damian’s room. He’s now up and quickly removing the sleepiness from his eyes.
“Morning sweetie.”
“Aunt Liz! I thought you were gone already!” He quickly rises and runs right at me. I lean down and scoop him up.
“No! I would never leave without saying goodbye to you.” I kiss his cheek and he wraps his tiny arms around my neck.
“You ready to go Liz. Oh hey Damian.” As soon as Max enters the room, Damian motions for me to put him down and he runs to Max. Who, of course, leans down and hoists him up on his chest. I’m going to miss him so much. I can’t think about it right now because I’ll breakdown.
“Uncle Max! I missed you!”
“I missed you too big guy!”
“I’m a miss you and Aunt Liz so much!”
“I know you will, we’ll miss you too but we’ll talk to you everyday just like we do now okay?”
***********************************
Max
“Yeah, tell Uncle Mike that he didn’t call me yesterday and I missed him.” I look at Liz she looks so upset, I know that leaving Damian is a really big thing for her. The longest time she’s not been in his presence was the two weeks she was in a coma, other than that it was for a few days at a time the most. I rub Damian’s back and tell him that I will tell Michael to call him.
“Alright big guy we have to go, so how about I finish taking Aunt Liz’s bags downstairs and you guys can walk down together.”
“Okay.” I look at Liz and I can see the tears fighting to spill forth. I know she’s trying really hard not to break down. I grab her hand and give it a small squeeze. She gives me a tiny smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. I lean down and pick up the last of her bags and make my way downstairs.
A few minutes later both Liz and Damian make their way downstairs, everyone else is in the hallway just waiting for the both of them. Liz walks over and her tears are gathering, I want to just reach out and hold her and tell her everything will be okay.
She turns to Isabel first.
“Thank you for letting him stay with me last night Isabel.” Isabel just smiles and wraps her arms around Liz. I hear Isabel say softly, “Thank you Liz, for everything.”
Liz goes around the tiny space saying her goodbyes when she’s done she lets out a long breath and looks up at me. She managed to hold back her tears but not for much longer. She reaches out her hand to me and I look down and take her hand, we walk to the car not looking back I know that she can’t right now. Damian was in tears and I know that was killing her.
I helped her in the car and she was silent until I reached the main highway, she let out another loud breath and her tears starting falling steadily and the sobs escaping, her shoulders shaking.
“Liz, baby it’s okay. You’ll see them all really soon, I promise.” I reach out my hand to her and she grabs onto to it like a lifeline. She turns her head towards me and the sadness I see is enough to make me cry. I pull over and turn the car off.
“Max…I…I…” She breaks down once again and I can’t take it anymore.
“Shh Liz, it’s okay.” I can’t watch her like this, I turn in my seat and motion for her to climb over the seat and sit on my lap. I wrap my arms around her as she cries. All I can do is wait until she’s ready for me to let go. She has her head buried in my neck and I can feel her tears soaking my shirt, I don’t care right now, I would do anything right now if it meant she wouldn’t have to feel another ounce of pain and heartache.
“Liz, look at me.” I ask her after a few minutes and she sniffles a little. I wipe the tears from her eyes.
“If you don’t want to go, it’s okay I under-”
“No! Max I want to go with you, I’m just going to miss them that’s all but they’ll be moving soon so it’s okay.”
“You sure?” I ask her because even though I said I wouldn’t take no for an answer, if she really didn’t want to go I wouldn’t make her, not if she’s going to be sad. She looks me right in the eyes and frames my face in her hands.
“Max, there isn’t anywhere I’d rather be than with you.” She says to me and then her eyes drift towards my lips and she leans in and closes her eyes, oh, this is not good at all. I can’t help it though I slowly close my eyes and I feel her breath on my lips, last time we stopped but this time I have no intentions of stopping. We are a mere breath from each other, my heart is racing and I wonder if hers is as well, I wait in anticipation of feeling her soft lips on mine.
But it never happens because my fucking cell phone shrills to life. Fuck! Liz wiggles off my lap back onto her seat and straps the seatbelt across her chest.
“Hello!” I ground into the phone.
“Well, hello to you too, lover boy.”
“It is entirely too early for that shit, what do you want?”
“Hmm, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning huh? Or was it that he woke up alone?”
“Shut up! Now, seriously, Michael what do you want?” I’m so irritated; I’m going to kill my own brother if he doesn’t spit it out.
“I called to tell you that you’re psycho girlfriend dropped off the key after of course she woke me up at three in the morning.” I groan out loud not caring that Liz can hear me.
“What?! Why was she there so early? I told her to leave it but that didn’t mean to just show up. Damnit! I’m sorry Michael, I know you have to head to work in a little while.” I say because I know how hard Michael is working, as he usually does, but he’s been picking up my slack.
“Hey bro, it’s okay. I’m just glad she doesn’t have key anymore. Seriously though you need to have a little chat, because um…you know what never mind.”
“What?! Michael just tell me.” I sigh heavily into the phone, it’s too early to have such a serious conversation. I look over at Liz and she’s looking out the window trying her best to act like she’s ignoring the conversation.
“She brought over this bag this morning and asked if I could just leave it in your bedroom.”
“Bag? What was it for?”
“I don’t know man she left it and I brought it to your room.”
“Come on Michael I know that you looked so stop the bullshit.”
“Ha! You know me too well. So anyway after she left babbling something about she really needed to talk to you about something important, I brought the bag to your room and opened it up and let’s just say, if she doesn’t go to her house for a few days she won’t have to worry about a change of clothes.”
“WHAT!” I didn’t realize I yelled so loud until I saw Liz jump in her seat. “Hold on Michael. Liz, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay Max, I know you didn’t, is everything okay?” She asked me concerned.
“Yeah for now, that is until I get home.” I offer her a small smile to which she returns warmly.
“Michael?”
“Yup that’s me.”
“Ha ha, look, thanks for calling me, but I have to head out on the road now or we’ll never get there.”
“Oh sorry about that, anyway let me talk to Liz real quick.”
“Okay later.”
“Michael wants to talk to you.” She reaches out and grabs the phone from my hand and I turn the car on and start driving, while she talks to Michael.
***********************************
Liz
I listened to Max talking to Michael about who I can only assume is his girlfriend. Wow! He sounds really upset about this key thing; hmm I wonder what happened there. And this mysterious bag, I will have to ask Max about her when we stop tonight. I’m beginning to think I’m missing something between them; maybe he’s not as happy as I think he is with her. Then why is he with her? I mean we almost kissed so that means something…it has too, Max would never cheat…but he was about to… technically, right?
I need to stop reading into situations; we haven’t even talked about anything having to do with us…together so I need to just keep myself in check.
“WHAT!” I jump from my seat; I don’t think I have ever heard Max yell like that.
“Liz, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay Max, I know you didn’t, is everything okay?”
“Yeah for now, that is until I get home.” Wow! Sounds like it’s going to be an interesting homecoming. Well, now I’m really excited to meet this Dari…whatever her name is. This might be easier than I thought. I know that Max and I have a lot to talk about but it won’t hurt to have her out of the picture now would it? Oh, Max is telling me something.
“Michael wants to talk to you.” I reach out and grab the phone from him.
“Hi Michael!”
“Hey Liz, how are you feeling?”
“I’m fine, really.”
“Okay look I just want to tell you that I can’t wait until you get here, I miss you. You know that right?” He’s so sweet to me, I know he feels bad but his words come from love not pity. Michael doesn’t do pity, that I know for sure.
“I know I miss you too. Oh and be ready for chick flick night.” I say jokingly with him, he just groans.
“Liiz, can we not talk about that. Hell, even Maria doesn’t know about that.”
“Yet Michael, she doesn’t know about it yet.” I tease him.
“Liz! You can’t do that to me.”
“I can Michael but you know I won’t. So how are you doing?” I only ask because Max told me about him and Angela and I want to make sure he’s not regretting his decision or anything.
“I’m doing better, it’s weird because I’m not that upset about it you know. I thought I would be upset or I don’t know sad, but I’m not. What does that mean Liz?”
“It means you really weren’t in love with her. You cared about her and yeah, in a way you loved her, but your heart could never belong to her.” I tell him sincerely, because that’s what I believe the problem was. He still loves Maria; I just wonder how Maria is taking all of this information. I can’t wait to get there and I can finally talk to her.
“Yeah, you’re right Liz. I’m just scared that she’s not going to feel that way.”
“Are you crazy!” I yelled and I saw Max’s head snap in my direction.
“Sorry Max.” He just chuckles.
“Liz, what are you talking about?”
“Michael clear the cobwebs would you…Maria is crazy about you. She never stopped loving you don’t you know that?”
“I know Liz, but what if it…”
“Stop right there Michael, I never said it was going to be easy, in fact it’s going to be the hardest thing you have to face in a relationship that has already gone bad once, but if in the end you both are happy, I should like to hope it would be all worth it.”
“You’re right Liz, God! I’ve missed you so much.” I just giggle into the phone; I know exactly what he means. We hang up shortly thereafter and I hand the phone back to Max.
“Is everything okay?” He asked me concerned.
“Yeah Michael is just sweating over Maria.”
“Oh, you know, I don’t think I told you about Maria coming up, did I?”
“No you didn’t! Really? I miss her so much.”
“I know you do. Yeah, she’s coming up at the end of next week because she’s having a concert and she wants us to go.” I’ve never seen Maria live on a stage before. I’ve seen her on T.V. but that’s about it.
“Really?! Wow! I can’t wait then. Who else is going?” I ask because I think that’s the best icebreaker to get into the conversation about his girlfriend, but if I know Max he’ll avoid it like the plague.
“Michael, of course, me, you and probably Dariana. But I’m not sure yet.” Hmm what does ‘not sure yet’ mean? After that though, he grows silent, like he has something on his mind. I don’t press him right away; I just lean forward and turn the radio back on.
After about an hour or so Max asks if I was hungry, which of course I was, I was starving. So we pulled up to a diner off the highway. We ordered our food and are currently sitting opposite one another.
“Tell me about her.” He starts making this choking sound and he looks up at me in shock.
***********************************
Max
“Tell me about her.” What?! No fucking way she’s asking me about Dariana, no! I must be hearing things. Because there is no way I’m talking about my girlfriend to Liz. Hell, I don’t even know how to talk to Liz about my girlfriend because I never had one while I was with her. I wonder if I ignore it if she’ll let it pass, I chance a look at her, and well all I can say is…fuck me!
“Liz, wh-what do you want to know?” I stutter out. Since when do I stutter? Anyway…
“I mean, like what does she look like, what is she like, her personality things, she likes to do? I am going to be seeing a lot of her so I’d like to be prepared.” Prepared for what? Where the hell is the waitress with the food?! Good service is hard to come by nowadays, especially when said food could save my ass here.
“Well um, she’s about Isabel’s height, she has long dark hair and brown eyes. I take it from your short conversation with her that you know she’s Spanish and she works a lot and she loves to dance. It’s her most favorite thing to do. She doesn’t like sports, movies or reality shows…” Liz cuts me off from my rambling…thank God for small favors.
“Is she funny?” Funny? I honestly don’t know if she is…Wow! I can’t believe I don’t know.
“I guess.”
“You guess Max? I mean she’s either funny or not.” Why is Liz pushing this subject?
“I don’t know Liz, I wasn’t with her for her comedic performance.” I said a little irritated at this point. I don’t know why Liz is choosing now to ask me all these questions about Dariana.
“Max… you’ve been with the girl for what? Seven months or whatever and you don’t know if she’s funny? Doesn’t that sound weird to you?”
“Liz, why do you care if she’s funny or not? It doesn’t matter and…”
“Yes it matters Max, because you and Michael together are just funny so I can’t imagine that she managed to change you that much in a few months. So if she’s not funny, doesn’t like sports, movies and hates reality TV shows, what the hell do you have in common then?”
“I don’t fucking know Liz, okay?! Is that what you want to hear? Will that make you happy? I don’t have anything in common with her, but I didn’t get together with her to talk if you know what I mean!” Oh shit! I couldn’t stop the words from rolling off my tongue quick enough. I can’t believe I just said that. She looks down and I can hear her sniffling begin. I rise from my side of the booth and sit beside her.
“Get away from me Max!” She bites out.
“Liz, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m just frustrated and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“No, just leave me alone!” She pushes past me and walks out of the diner. Luckily it was still pretty empty so there weren’t that many witnesses to my outburst. I waited inside a few minutes longer and got the food to go because I knew Liz was really hungry still.
When I find her she’s standing outside in front of the Jeep. The sun has already risen and is shiny brightly. She’s wearing a light pink sundress that is blowing steadily around her, she’s crying and I want to kick myself because I’m the one that put those tears there. I just don’t know why she’s pushing the issue with Dariana, is she jealous or is it something else? I don’t have a lot of time to ponder those questions. I approach her and she quickly wipes her face with the back of her hands and moves to the passenger’s side door. I don’t say anything because if I do I know she’ll get even more upset, so I’ll just wait until I think she’s ready to talk to me.
We continue on for the next three hours in silence, she thankfully eats the food but after she said, “Thank you Max”, that was the end of conversation and silence once again filled the air.
TBC...
Last edited by Behrsgirl77 on Wed Sep 29, 2004 5:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Behrsgirl77
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Chapter 36
Chapter 36
Liz
Damn him! I can’t believe he said that to me, he might be sorry but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. God! I didn’t want to know about their sex life when I asked that question, that’s for damn sure. I just wanted to see if there really was anything between them that way when I try and convince Max that we should give it a go, I would know that there wouldn’t be anything holding him back.
Although I’m hurt, more than I can even express at this point, I know that he and his girlfriend aren’t the happy couple they would like everyone to think. Which is a plus for me, the only problem is I have no idea how to approach the subject.
I really can’t think about that right now because more than anything… I have to use the bathroom. Which means I have to talk to Max, and it’s not that I don’t want to talk to him, it’s just that once we start… I’ll want to know what that ‘almost’ kiss was about for him.
I know what it was for me; I wanted to kiss him more than anything. When he motioned for me to sit in his lap and he wrapped his arms around me… that was it. I knew that I wanted to stay in his arms forever and that if I just take a chance that he wouldn’t turn me away, that he would feel everything I was feeling. When I closed my eyes and moved closer to his lips, I knew at that moment there was still a chance in there for me with him. But I know Max and he will try and fight it…deny it. We both hurt each other and we haven’t resolved the rest of our issues together, but I need to try. I need to tell him where I stand in all of this, what I want from him and what I want from life.
“Max?”
“Yeah?” He sounds surprised, and I don’t blame him. I haven’t said one word to him since I thanked him for breakfast. He looked so cute too when he was driving. He was in hell because he knew that I was pissed at him and he knew that if he tried to talk to me before I was ready it would be worse. So he sat there, driving in silence and I could see all his emotions cross his face. He went from sad, to pissed off, confusion and now he looks worried.
“I have to use the bathroom, do you think you could stop soon?”
“Yeah, sure, of course Liz.” He looked like he wanted to say something more, but he snapped his mouth shut and just drove until we reached the next exit. I got out of the car and entered the gas station, asking for the key to the restroom.
To say that I loathe using public restrooms is a major understatement. I’d rather wait until I was going explode before using one. They skive me out completely. I mean if you think about it, thousands of people using one bathroom and it’s never cleaned at least that’s what it looks like. Not to mention you have to touch the door handle and the faucet on the sink both of which you know have seen neither hide nor hair of a Lysol sprayed rag.
Gross!
I open up the door to the restroom and I scream. Literally.
“Oh my God! That shit is nasty!! Gross what the hell did they do in here!” No fucking way I’m using that…I’d rather stand on the side of the road with cars passing by then use that…that…UGH!
I run…not walk, back to the car talking out loud to myself about that nasty bathroom and Max looks confused.
“Liz, what’s wrong?” He gets out of the car when he sees I’m infuriated.
“I really have to use the bathroom, I can’t because it’s disgusting in there.” Now I’m doing the dance…you know what dance…the one where you just know you can’t hold it in any longer so you bounce from one leg to another hoping to relieve the pressure.
“Liz, you have to go really bad and the next station isn’t for a couple of miles, just close your eyes and use it.”
“NO! Are you crazy?! I’ll probably catch something in there…come on Max you have to do something.” I’m whining now, but if I don’t go soon, this pretty sundress will be not so pretty and really wet. Not the good kind either, if ya know what I mean.
“Liz what do you want me to do? I…”
“The men’s room! Yes…go in there and you know check it out and make sure there are no pervs in there and that it’s decent, I mean, it has to be better than the woman’s because some women are just nasty! Gross! Sorry, anyway come on Max…please.” I beg him and he’s laughing at me a little, cause I’m still doing the dance.
“Alright Liz, I’ll check it out, come on.” He reaches out his hand to me and I grab hold of it and we walk very quickly to the men’s room. Max walks inside and then comes out a minute later.
“Coast is clear, go ahead but um Liz?” I have my hand on the door ready to open it up when I hear Max’s unsteady voice.
“Max, please I have to go so bad, it’s not even funny.”
“I know you do Liz, but um…there are no stalls or anything like that…there’s just a um…”
“Would you spit it out already! I’m going to explode soon!” I turn and face him and sigh heavily, if he knew what kind of pain I was in right now, he would just spit it out already.
“It’s a urinal Liz and I don’t know how you’re going to use it.” He says seriously but I can see the hint the glimmer in his eyes. He’s trying really hard not to laugh about the situation and to be honest if I wasn’t in my current state I would to, but there is no time for that now.
“I don’t give a fuck I have to go so I’m going standing up!” I turn and walk into the men’s room. I see against the wall there is a urinal and here is where I have to ask the question, why the hell is there no stall…no toilet I mean come on! It’s a public rest room after all. Oh well, a woman probably designed this restroom just to get back at her husband for something he did.
I have no idea how I’m going to do this one, at least it’s much cleaner in here than in the woman’s room but I have never had to stand up and pee before. Talk about a challenge.
Ten minutes later I remerge from the restroom, feeling quite refreshed, smile on my face and all.
“I don’t believe it!” Max says when I open the door, he stood outside waiting for me incase someone tried to come in and use it.
“What?” I say and cross his path making a dash for the Jeep. He’s hot on my heels now boy, he doesn’t believe I did it. Hell I don’t believe I did it either, but let’s just say it was a damn good thing I was wearing a dress today, cause that would not have worked otherwise.
“Liz, there is no way you went in there, I mean how? I mean not how but I…” We reached the car and both got in before Max put the key in the ignition, I figure I’ll give him a little something to think about.
“Since I’m not wearing underwear and I have a dress on it was actually quite simple.”
His face is priceless!
***********************************
Max
Holy Shit! She did not just say that to me. I can’t even think straight. She’s not wearing underwear under that pretty little dress? No! She’s probably just fucking with me right?! God! How the hell am I supposed to focus on the road? I hear her clear her throat and I chance another look at her, the corners of her mouth are raised into a knowing smile.
“Max? Are you okay? You look a little I don’t know…flushed.” Flushed, I’m on fire right now! In fact I can feel how turned on I am right now. I don’t need this; I need to think about something else other than, Liz next to me with nothing under that dress. Oh no! Think Max…Think! Okay focus…Dariana. Yes I’ll think about Dariana.
Oh shit! Talk about deflated. I can’t think about that right now, I need to drive. Yes, I’ll drive, concentrate on the road and forget about Liz sitting next to me.
***********************************
Liz
I want to laugh so hard right now. Max is driving and he is trying so hard to concentrate on the road; he won’t even look at me either. I shouldn’t have said it, but it was funny.
“I’m sorry Max, I was only kidding. I figure payback is a bitch right.” I see him swallow hard before speaking.
“Y-Yeah it is. Um so, anyway are you still mad at me?” Changing the subject… just like my Max. It’s okay though, plenty of time for that later.
“No I’m not, I was just hurt, that’s all. I shouldn’t have pushed you so I’m sorry for that.”
“No Liz, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have blown up at you like that. You didn’t need to know that and I shouldn’t have said it. Forgive me?” He turns slightly, all the while keeping his eyes on the road.
“Forgiven!”
“But not forgotten.” He says sadly. He’s right, I forgive him but I can’t forget about it that wound is still open for me right now.
“Max.”
“It’s okay Liz, I understand. So are you feeling better?”
“Yeah, actually, I am, I’m still tired though. I don’t see how, I slept for two weeks I shouldn’t be tired for at least a month.” I say jokingly but I see that Max is not joining in.
“Max?”
“I’m okay Liz, I’m just tired.”
“Well do you want me to drive cause I can you know?”
“No! Liz you can’t drive right now, you’re not supposed to even be in this car with me. You need to just relax and don’t worry about it. I’ll be stopping in a few hours anyway, why don’t you try and get some sleep.” There is something serious on his mind, so when we stop later tonight I will be asking him what it is.
For now though we drive and have causal conversation. After about another hour we stopped for lunch and headed back out on the road and I could tell Max was getting tired. We could really do this trip in one day, but Max has been traveling for the past few weeks without much sleep, I can tell, so I suggest that we stop for the day and just enjoy the rest of the day and relax. To which Max agrees with me completely.
Max goes inside the hotel to pay for the rooms. I can’t say that I’m not upset we won’t be sharing but I know I’m pushing it with that one. He needs time which I have lots of.
“Okay, I’ll just drive around back that’s where our rooms are.” I just nod and gather my purse. After we park, Max gets out and pulls out our overnight bags.
“Alright this is your room, I’ll just put your bag in here and then if you want we can go and get some dinner when you’re ready.”
“Well how about we order room service Max? I’ll just take a quick shower and head over to your room in a little while okay?”
“Yes that sounds better, I don’t feel like sitting in the car for another minute.”
“I know you don’t. Okay Max I’ll see you in a little bit.”
“Bye.” He walks out of the room and I make a mad dash for the shower. I need one so bad, it’s amazing that sitting a car doing absolutely nothing makes you feel gross.
***********************************
Max
I don’t know what to do! I’m panicking and I have no idea what to do or say. I head for the shower maybe that will help relieve some of my stress.
I stand under the spray of hot water and it’s helping but then my mind wanders next door. To Liz…in the shower. Damn why do I have to be such a guy. I swear I know that we think about sex every what five minutes but damn I need to get some control. Liz will be here in my room probably lying on my bed and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.
I feel so out of control right now. I almost kissed her in the car! Kissed her and I wanted to so bad, if that phone didn’t ring I would have and nothing would have stopped me. Just holding her in my arms brought it all back, so many questions. Mainly…why? Why are we not together, why didn’t we tell each other everything, why am I with Dariana when I’m in love with Liz?
Yeah, see that’s my problem. I have dug this hole for myself and I don’t know how to get out of it. I’m not saying I just want Liz for sex or anything like that but I just crave to be near her, to touch her, to hear her voice, see her smile and to just surround myself in her.
I feel guilty though, I made promises to Dariana, she is my girlfriend and regardless if we have nothing in common I just can’t do that to her. On the other hand spending time with Liz is making it even more difficult to fight the feelings I have. Liz and I have so much to talk about and to sort out. I don’t even know where she stands as far as us, we’re friends but does she want more? I don’t want to push her either, she’s been through so much and she’s strong but too much at one time for anyone is enough to make them crack.
I jump out the shower and dress quickly into a pair of black khaki pajama bottoms and a white T-shirt, I want to be comfortable but walking around in boxers wouldn’t be the wisest idea right now. I decide I need to make a quick phone call to check on Michael.
Who am I kidding…I need to beg for advice right now because if I have to face Liz right now without it…I don’t know what stupid thing will fly out of my mouth again.
“Good Afternoon, Evans Advertising Associates.”
“Hi Rachael, it’s Max is Michael in?”
“Oh yes Mr. Evans I’ll put you through.”
“Michael speaking.”
“Hey bro.”
“Ah, Maxwell I was wondering when you would be calling.” I wonder why he’s saying that.
“Why?”
“Max, come on! Your in a car with the love of your life for hours the tension has got to be getting to you.” Tension, what tension? I’m not tense, am I?
“What are you talking about Michael?” I ask him exasperatedly.
“Ya know…tension…tension.”
“What! No Michael that’s not what this is about. Look I need some help okay so just listen to me for a second and get your mind out of the gutter.”
“Oh alright! Spoil my fun! Go ahead tell big bro the problem.” Sometimes I wonder why I go to him for advice.
“We’re at the hotel, Liz is next door taking a shower and we’re going to order room service what should I do?”
“Oh go for the burger and fries can’t go to wrong with…”
“Michael! This is serious!” I ground into the phone.
“Okay, okay, look what’s the problem? You order dinner, you talk and you go to bed.” If only it were that simple.
“Let me take a step back for you, so you can follow me here okay slow minded one? Good! Now Liz and I had sort of a fight…” Here he goes cutting me off again!
“Fight? What about?”
“If you would let me finish I’ll tell you.” I sigh heavily into the phone.
“Oh my bad…continue.”
“She was asking me all these questions about Dari, and she was pointing out things that I guess I never really took the time to realize, like the fact that we have nothing in common, so anyway I blew up at her when she pointed out that fact and I told her not in so many words that IgottogetherwithDariforsex.” I spit that out as quickly as possible because I already know what’s coming once he really hears what I said.
“What the fuck is wrong with you Maxwell! God! I leave you for what a few days and you fuck it up already! What did Liz say?”
“She yelled at me to leave her alone and then proceeded not to talk to me for three hours.”
“Serves you right asshole.”
“Hey, my side here! I know I messed up but I apologized and she accepted but that’s not the real problem.”
“Well I’m glad you apologized. I would have kicked your ass if you hurt her, Maxwell.”
“I know.” It’s true Michael might be my brother but he doesn’t tolerate anyone hurting Liz, Maria or Isabel. He’s very protective of the three of them, that’s why he hurt so much when he found out about Liz. He still hasn’t spoken about it, but I know deep down he blames himself just like I do for not seeing it sooner.
“What’s the problem then?”
“We almost kissed…again.”
“Wait! Again? When was the first time and why was I not privy to this information?”
“It was the day she came home from the hospital and we were watching a movie up in Damian’s room, but nothing happened, I pulled away. The second time was today in the car after we left Mom and Dad’s house. She was upset and crying because she had to leave everyone, and I had her sit on my lap while I tried to calm her down and then…and then we almost kissed.” I say in one breath, just the thought of it makes my heart race again.
“Why did you stop?”
“Good question, let’s see if I can answer this one. My fucking cell phone rang?! Any idea who it could have been?”
“Oh shit Maxwell sorry for the interruption! Damn! So what did she say about it?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? What did you say?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? You guys need therapy!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Talk! Talk! Talk! Maxwell, have you not learned anything from this past year from everything that happened? You and Liz need to talk alone in private, and as I see it from here, you have the time and the place now all you need to do is let go and stop hiding behind your fear.”
“Yes that’s easy to say, but what about Dariana, I mean I…”
“Sorry Maxwell, I’m not going to feel bad on this one, because you know and I know that what you have with Liz is so much more than you could ever hope to have with Dariana. I mean I like the girl don’t get me wrong but you and Liz together you’re just…just…”
“Perfect.” I finish for him.
TBC…
Liz
Damn him! I can’t believe he said that to me, he might be sorry but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. God! I didn’t want to know about their sex life when I asked that question, that’s for damn sure. I just wanted to see if there really was anything between them that way when I try and convince Max that we should give it a go, I would know that there wouldn’t be anything holding him back.
Although I’m hurt, more than I can even express at this point, I know that he and his girlfriend aren’t the happy couple they would like everyone to think. Which is a plus for me, the only problem is I have no idea how to approach the subject.
I really can’t think about that right now because more than anything… I have to use the bathroom. Which means I have to talk to Max, and it’s not that I don’t want to talk to him, it’s just that once we start… I’ll want to know what that ‘almost’ kiss was about for him.
I know what it was for me; I wanted to kiss him more than anything. When he motioned for me to sit in his lap and he wrapped his arms around me… that was it. I knew that I wanted to stay in his arms forever and that if I just take a chance that he wouldn’t turn me away, that he would feel everything I was feeling. When I closed my eyes and moved closer to his lips, I knew at that moment there was still a chance in there for me with him. But I know Max and he will try and fight it…deny it. We both hurt each other and we haven’t resolved the rest of our issues together, but I need to try. I need to tell him where I stand in all of this, what I want from him and what I want from life.
“Max?”
“Yeah?” He sounds surprised, and I don’t blame him. I haven’t said one word to him since I thanked him for breakfast. He looked so cute too when he was driving. He was in hell because he knew that I was pissed at him and he knew that if he tried to talk to me before I was ready it would be worse. So he sat there, driving in silence and I could see all his emotions cross his face. He went from sad, to pissed off, confusion and now he looks worried.
“I have to use the bathroom, do you think you could stop soon?”
“Yeah, sure, of course Liz.” He looked like he wanted to say something more, but he snapped his mouth shut and just drove until we reached the next exit. I got out of the car and entered the gas station, asking for the key to the restroom.
To say that I loathe using public restrooms is a major understatement. I’d rather wait until I was going explode before using one. They skive me out completely. I mean if you think about it, thousands of people using one bathroom and it’s never cleaned at least that’s what it looks like. Not to mention you have to touch the door handle and the faucet on the sink both of which you know have seen neither hide nor hair of a Lysol sprayed rag.
Gross!
I open up the door to the restroom and I scream. Literally.
“Oh my God! That shit is nasty!! Gross what the hell did they do in here!” No fucking way I’m using that…I’d rather stand on the side of the road with cars passing by then use that…that…UGH!
I run…not walk, back to the car talking out loud to myself about that nasty bathroom and Max looks confused.
“Liz, what’s wrong?” He gets out of the car when he sees I’m infuriated.
“I really have to use the bathroom, I can’t because it’s disgusting in there.” Now I’m doing the dance…you know what dance…the one where you just know you can’t hold it in any longer so you bounce from one leg to another hoping to relieve the pressure.
“Liz, you have to go really bad and the next station isn’t for a couple of miles, just close your eyes and use it.”
“NO! Are you crazy?! I’ll probably catch something in there…come on Max you have to do something.” I’m whining now, but if I don’t go soon, this pretty sundress will be not so pretty and really wet. Not the good kind either, if ya know what I mean.
“Liz what do you want me to do? I…”
“The men’s room! Yes…go in there and you know check it out and make sure there are no pervs in there and that it’s decent, I mean, it has to be better than the woman’s because some women are just nasty! Gross! Sorry, anyway come on Max…please.” I beg him and he’s laughing at me a little, cause I’m still doing the dance.
“Alright Liz, I’ll check it out, come on.” He reaches out his hand to me and I grab hold of it and we walk very quickly to the men’s room. Max walks inside and then comes out a minute later.
“Coast is clear, go ahead but um Liz?” I have my hand on the door ready to open it up when I hear Max’s unsteady voice.
“Max, please I have to go so bad, it’s not even funny.”
“I know you do Liz, but um…there are no stalls or anything like that…there’s just a um…”
“Would you spit it out already! I’m going to explode soon!” I turn and face him and sigh heavily, if he knew what kind of pain I was in right now, he would just spit it out already.
“It’s a urinal Liz and I don’t know how you’re going to use it.” He says seriously but I can see the hint the glimmer in his eyes. He’s trying really hard not to laugh about the situation and to be honest if I wasn’t in my current state I would to, but there is no time for that now.
“I don’t give a fuck I have to go so I’m going standing up!” I turn and walk into the men’s room. I see against the wall there is a urinal and here is where I have to ask the question, why the hell is there no stall…no toilet I mean come on! It’s a public rest room after all. Oh well, a woman probably designed this restroom just to get back at her husband for something he did.
I have no idea how I’m going to do this one, at least it’s much cleaner in here than in the woman’s room but I have never had to stand up and pee before. Talk about a challenge.
Ten minutes later I remerge from the restroom, feeling quite refreshed, smile on my face and all.
“I don’t believe it!” Max says when I open the door, he stood outside waiting for me incase someone tried to come in and use it.
“What?” I say and cross his path making a dash for the Jeep. He’s hot on my heels now boy, he doesn’t believe I did it. Hell I don’t believe I did it either, but let’s just say it was a damn good thing I was wearing a dress today, cause that would not have worked otherwise.
“Liz, there is no way you went in there, I mean how? I mean not how but I…” We reached the car and both got in before Max put the key in the ignition, I figure I’ll give him a little something to think about.
“Since I’m not wearing underwear and I have a dress on it was actually quite simple.”
His face is priceless!
***********************************
Max
Holy Shit! She did not just say that to me. I can’t even think straight. She’s not wearing underwear under that pretty little dress? No! She’s probably just fucking with me right?! God! How the hell am I supposed to focus on the road? I hear her clear her throat and I chance another look at her, the corners of her mouth are raised into a knowing smile.
“Max? Are you okay? You look a little I don’t know…flushed.” Flushed, I’m on fire right now! In fact I can feel how turned on I am right now. I don’t need this; I need to think about something else other than, Liz next to me with nothing under that dress. Oh no! Think Max…Think! Okay focus…Dariana. Yes I’ll think about Dariana.
Oh shit! Talk about deflated. I can’t think about that right now, I need to drive. Yes, I’ll drive, concentrate on the road and forget about Liz sitting next to me.
***********************************
Liz
I want to laugh so hard right now. Max is driving and he is trying so hard to concentrate on the road; he won’t even look at me either. I shouldn’t have said it, but it was funny.
“I’m sorry Max, I was only kidding. I figure payback is a bitch right.” I see him swallow hard before speaking.
“Y-Yeah it is. Um so, anyway are you still mad at me?” Changing the subject… just like my Max. It’s okay though, plenty of time for that later.
“No I’m not, I was just hurt, that’s all. I shouldn’t have pushed you so I’m sorry for that.”
“No Liz, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have blown up at you like that. You didn’t need to know that and I shouldn’t have said it. Forgive me?” He turns slightly, all the while keeping his eyes on the road.
“Forgiven!”
“But not forgotten.” He says sadly. He’s right, I forgive him but I can’t forget about it that wound is still open for me right now.
“Max.”
“It’s okay Liz, I understand. So are you feeling better?”
“Yeah, actually, I am, I’m still tired though. I don’t see how, I slept for two weeks I shouldn’t be tired for at least a month.” I say jokingly but I see that Max is not joining in.
“Max?”
“I’m okay Liz, I’m just tired.”
“Well do you want me to drive cause I can you know?”
“No! Liz you can’t drive right now, you’re not supposed to even be in this car with me. You need to just relax and don’t worry about it. I’ll be stopping in a few hours anyway, why don’t you try and get some sleep.” There is something serious on his mind, so when we stop later tonight I will be asking him what it is.
For now though we drive and have causal conversation. After about another hour we stopped for lunch and headed back out on the road and I could tell Max was getting tired. We could really do this trip in one day, but Max has been traveling for the past few weeks without much sleep, I can tell, so I suggest that we stop for the day and just enjoy the rest of the day and relax. To which Max agrees with me completely.
Max goes inside the hotel to pay for the rooms. I can’t say that I’m not upset we won’t be sharing but I know I’m pushing it with that one. He needs time which I have lots of.
“Okay, I’ll just drive around back that’s where our rooms are.” I just nod and gather my purse. After we park, Max gets out and pulls out our overnight bags.
“Alright this is your room, I’ll just put your bag in here and then if you want we can go and get some dinner when you’re ready.”
“Well how about we order room service Max? I’ll just take a quick shower and head over to your room in a little while okay?”
“Yes that sounds better, I don’t feel like sitting in the car for another minute.”
“I know you don’t. Okay Max I’ll see you in a little bit.”
“Bye.” He walks out of the room and I make a mad dash for the shower. I need one so bad, it’s amazing that sitting a car doing absolutely nothing makes you feel gross.
***********************************
Max
I don’t know what to do! I’m panicking and I have no idea what to do or say. I head for the shower maybe that will help relieve some of my stress.
I stand under the spray of hot water and it’s helping but then my mind wanders next door. To Liz…in the shower. Damn why do I have to be such a guy. I swear I know that we think about sex every what five minutes but damn I need to get some control. Liz will be here in my room probably lying on my bed and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.
I feel so out of control right now. I almost kissed her in the car! Kissed her and I wanted to so bad, if that phone didn’t ring I would have and nothing would have stopped me. Just holding her in my arms brought it all back, so many questions. Mainly…why? Why are we not together, why didn’t we tell each other everything, why am I with Dariana when I’m in love with Liz?
Yeah, see that’s my problem. I have dug this hole for myself and I don’t know how to get out of it. I’m not saying I just want Liz for sex or anything like that but I just crave to be near her, to touch her, to hear her voice, see her smile and to just surround myself in her.
I feel guilty though, I made promises to Dariana, she is my girlfriend and regardless if we have nothing in common I just can’t do that to her. On the other hand spending time with Liz is making it even more difficult to fight the feelings I have. Liz and I have so much to talk about and to sort out. I don’t even know where she stands as far as us, we’re friends but does she want more? I don’t want to push her either, she’s been through so much and she’s strong but too much at one time for anyone is enough to make them crack.
I jump out the shower and dress quickly into a pair of black khaki pajama bottoms and a white T-shirt, I want to be comfortable but walking around in boxers wouldn’t be the wisest idea right now. I decide I need to make a quick phone call to check on Michael.
Who am I kidding…I need to beg for advice right now because if I have to face Liz right now without it…I don’t know what stupid thing will fly out of my mouth again.
“Good Afternoon, Evans Advertising Associates.”
“Hi Rachael, it’s Max is Michael in?”
“Oh yes Mr. Evans I’ll put you through.”
“Michael speaking.”
“Hey bro.”
“Ah, Maxwell I was wondering when you would be calling.” I wonder why he’s saying that.
“Why?”
“Max, come on! Your in a car with the love of your life for hours the tension has got to be getting to you.” Tension, what tension? I’m not tense, am I?
“What are you talking about Michael?” I ask him exasperatedly.
“Ya know…tension…tension.”
“What! No Michael that’s not what this is about. Look I need some help okay so just listen to me for a second and get your mind out of the gutter.”
“Oh alright! Spoil my fun! Go ahead tell big bro the problem.” Sometimes I wonder why I go to him for advice.
“We’re at the hotel, Liz is next door taking a shower and we’re going to order room service what should I do?”
“Oh go for the burger and fries can’t go to wrong with…”
“Michael! This is serious!” I ground into the phone.
“Okay, okay, look what’s the problem? You order dinner, you talk and you go to bed.” If only it were that simple.
“Let me take a step back for you, so you can follow me here okay slow minded one? Good! Now Liz and I had sort of a fight…” Here he goes cutting me off again!
“Fight? What about?”
“If you would let me finish I’ll tell you.” I sigh heavily into the phone.
“Oh my bad…continue.”
“She was asking me all these questions about Dari, and she was pointing out things that I guess I never really took the time to realize, like the fact that we have nothing in common, so anyway I blew up at her when she pointed out that fact and I told her not in so many words that IgottogetherwithDariforsex.” I spit that out as quickly as possible because I already know what’s coming once he really hears what I said.
“What the fuck is wrong with you Maxwell! God! I leave you for what a few days and you fuck it up already! What did Liz say?”
“She yelled at me to leave her alone and then proceeded not to talk to me for three hours.”
“Serves you right asshole.”
“Hey, my side here! I know I messed up but I apologized and she accepted but that’s not the real problem.”
“Well I’m glad you apologized. I would have kicked your ass if you hurt her, Maxwell.”
“I know.” It’s true Michael might be my brother but he doesn’t tolerate anyone hurting Liz, Maria or Isabel. He’s very protective of the three of them, that’s why he hurt so much when he found out about Liz. He still hasn’t spoken about it, but I know deep down he blames himself just like I do for not seeing it sooner.
“What’s the problem then?”
“We almost kissed…again.”
“Wait! Again? When was the first time and why was I not privy to this information?”
“It was the day she came home from the hospital and we were watching a movie up in Damian’s room, but nothing happened, I pulled away. The second time was today in the car after we left Mom and Dad’s house. She was upset and crying because she had to leave everyone, and I had her sit on my lap while I tried to calm her down and then…and then we almost kissed.” I say in one breath, just the thought of it makes my heart race again.
“Why did you stop?”
“Good question, let’s see if I can answer this one. My fucking cell phone rang?! Any idea who it could have been?”
“Oh shit Maxwell sorry for the interruption! Damn! So what did she say about it?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? What did you say?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? You guys need therapy!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Talk! Talk! Talk! Maxwell, have you not learned anything from this past year from everything that happened? You and Liz need to talk alone in private, and as I see it from here, you have the time and the place now all you need to do is let go and stop hiding behind your fear.”
“Yes that’s easy to say, but what about Dariana, I mean I…”
“Sorry Maxwell, I’m not going to feel bad on this one, because you know and I know that what you have with Liz is so much more than you could ever hope to have with Dariana. I mean I like the girl don’t get me wrong but you and Liz together you’re just…just…”
“Perfect.” I finish for him.
TBC…
Last edited by Behrsgirl77 on Wed Sep 29, 2004 5:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
-
Behrsgirl77
- Obsessed Roswellian
- Posts: 633
- Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2004 11:21 am
- Location: New Jersey, USA
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Chapter 37
Liz
What should I wear?
I finish my shower and am now standing in my hotel room wearing nothing but a towel and the water from my hair is dripping down my back. I have been looking through my bag for about ten minutes trying to find something comfortable and cute to wear.
Finally, I see a pair of light blue cotton shorts and tank top. I quickly change and tie my hair back in a ponytail because it’s still too wet to leave out. I grab my room key and turn off the lights before heading next door to Max’s room.
I have a knot in my stomach and I don’t know why I’m nervous. There is no reason for it we are just going to eat dinner, hang out and talk.
Talk.
Just the thought of it is making me feel sick. I know that Max and I have to talk; we are way overdue in that department. However, a huge piece of me feels like if we do, will that really change anything. I mean what if I tell him how I feel and he doesn’t feel like that anymore, like he did a year ago. Maybe he thought he was in love with me but now that he has had time away from the situation realizes that he really wasn’t in love with me.
Another part of me can’t deny the feelings that I know are passing through us. When we almost kissed I know at that moment he wanted to just as badly as I did. And if Michael hadn’t interrupted us, we would have. What does that all mean?
I don’t have much time to consider the question, since I’m now standing in front of Max’s door. I reach out a shaky hand to knock, get a grip Liz and breathe.
Max opens the door immediately thereafter, and I stand there in the doorway speechless.
Could it be possible for him to look any hotter? Seriously, he has on black khaki pants and a white t-shirt, which does nothing to hide his perfectly sculpted chest and arms. No he looks good enough to….
“Ah Liz? Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to come in?” He says while stepping back a bit to let me in. Thank God! I don’t think he noticed me checking him out.
***********************************
Max
My God! Is she trying to kill me over here? She’s standing in front of me wearing these short baby blue shorts and matching tank top, her hair is pulled away from her face in a single ponytail, she looks so innocent but then I look at her…really look at her and she is eyeing me up and down concentrating on a few major parts of my body and I swear I can feel my temperature rise instantaneously.
After I let her in, she takes a seat on the bed and honestly I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the day with her. There is so much that remains to be said between us and I realize after talking to Michael that those things need to be said before we get home. And definitely before I face Dariana.
“So Max did you want to order now or …?”
“No, we can order now to tell you the truth I’m starving.” I say while crossing the room to take a seat beside her, I grab the menu from the nightstand and hand it to her to look at.
“When aren’t you hungry Max, I mean I don’t know how you do it.” She says jokingly to me, but she stopped her sentence and I’m really interested in finding out what she was going to say. So I press on.
“How do I do what?” She stills for a moment and looks up from her perusal of the menu.
“I mean you eat anything you want and you look like…like that.” She says quickly and draws her attention to the menu, which by the way she is looking at as if it were the most interesting thing in the world to read right now. I just smile and nudge her shoulder playfully.
“Oh, and how is it that I look Liz, can you just you know clarify it for a simple minded creature as myself?” I see the rising blush on her face and I can’t help but smile. She mumbles out a quick “no.” Oh this is too good to let drop, I have to continue.
“No? Well I guess it’s not that good then if you don’t wish to discuss it further, I mean there is nothing really great or anything, I’m just your average Joe with…” She throws her arms in the air thereby releasing her death grip on the menu and says,
“Fine! Okay you want to know so bad Evans? Hot! You look fucking hot! Are you happy now? Have I boosted your male ego enough to place an order?” She says all flustered and I can’t say that seeing her like this is priceless. I sit still watching her and when she’s done she plops back onto the bed next to me and lays on her back letting out one long exasperated sigh.
I turn and look down at her, her eyes are closes her cheeks are flushed and I just start laughing.
“What the hell is so funny Max?”
“N-nothing Liz…nothing.” I’m laughing so hard I have to grab my middle to hold back the pain from it all.
“Oh no! Tell me right now what is so funny about what I just said.” She grabs the back of my shirt thereby allowing me to fall beside her.
“It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it. Your face was all rosy and you looked completely mortified.”
“Stop laughing!” She is so cute she leans up on her elbow to look down at me.”
“I’m serious Max, stop laughing.” She is trying to sound firm, but her face is telling a completely different story. She is fighting to hold back her laughter. I had tears slipping from the corner of my eyes and she just lost it.
One second she’s laying next to me the next she’s on top of me, tickling my sides. That is my weak spot and I left myself open to it.
“No Liz stop!”
“No!”
“Oh God! Liz please, I’m begging you…stop!”
“No! No! No! Not until you suffer from making fun of me and making me say that shit out loud!” She continues and I can’t even breathe anymore, she is killing me. I manage to free my arms from under her legs; I grab hold of her waist and flip us so I’m on top of her now with her hands pinned above her head.
“Oh no Liz, what ever will you do now?” I tease her. She tries to fight me but it’s futile, she might be spunky but she can’t beat me not at this angle.
“Cheater! You just cheat Evans you don’t play fair at all!”
“Why is it that when I start to win I’m cheating? Huh Parker?” She looks absolutely adorable right now, she’s starting to pout and she has no idea what she’s doing to my body right now. She’s writhing beneath me and it’s taking all of my willpower to not attack her.
“Because it just does, you’re bigger than me and…and…mmm” I lean down and cover her lips with mine, I release her hands and she brings them to rest on my shoulders. I lay my body completely on top of hers as our lips fight to reacquaint themselves with each other. She lets out a soft moan and I take that opportunity to slide my tongue into her warm mouth, over and over until we are both moaning into each other’s mouths. She feels absolutely perfect, her lips are as soft as I remember and the warmth is indescribable.
She’s pressing her body into mine and I can’t fight the sensations it’s causing inside of me, and instead of fighting it like I should I don’t. I respond with equal force into her small frame. Our lips sliding back and forth over and over until the need for air overpowers the sensations our gathering has brought.
We pull away breathlessly and stare at one another, her lips are swollen and bright red, her cheeks are flush with pink and her eyes bore straight into my soul and I feel like if I stare at her too long in this condition I might actually cry.
***********************************
Liz
This must be a dream! I mean one minute we’re messing around and the next his soft full lips are on mine. I can’t help it at first contact I moan softly because I can’t believe I forgot how perfect it felt to kiss him. To be beneath him, surrounded by him and I can’t help it I press my body up into his and he responds with his whole body, his mouth his hands. I can’t get enough of him, I want to crawl inside of his body and stay there forever.
When I hear the soft moan escape his mouth that was it for me that’s why I had to lean up into his body I needed him to feel what I was feeling, how he makes me react. No one has ever made me feel the way he does just by kissing me.
Sadly we pull away, our ragged breathing filling the quiet room and I stare up at him. His features are flush, his lips are puffy and red in other words he looks absolutely beautiful, I know he can see the feelings wash over my face and at that moment he looks away.
I wonder if I did something wrong. He rises and helps me up into a sitting positing.
“Max?”
“Yeah Liz?”
“Are you okay…did I do…”
“No! Liz really it’s okay, how about we order now?” He’s changing the subject and at this moment it’s pissing me off.
“We can order Max that’s fine, I want a cheeseburger with cheddar cheese and barbeque sauce and fries, and don’t forget the bottle of ketchup.” I get up and fix my rumpled clothes and walk over to the mirror above the dresser to fix my hair while Max places the order for room service. I run my fingers lightly over my lips they are still swollen and I can’t help but smile over what Max and I just did. I know I want to talk about it, but I guess that conversation will have to wait until after we eat.
***********************************
Michael
“Hi Maria.”
“Michael! Hi, how are you?”
“I’m good, so I just wanted to call you and see you know how you’re doing?” My last conversation with her ended abruptly and besides that I just wanted to hear her voice.
“Oh well I’m okay, just really busy. Trying to finish up this tour and get my life together.” I can tell something is bothering her and I don’t know if she wants me knowing but I can’t not ask.
“Maria?”
“Yeah Michael?”
“You can talk to me you know, you can tell me anything and I’ll listen you know that right?” She’s silent for a few minutes, I can just hear her breathing hitch in her throat and then I can hear some shuffling before she starts to speak again.
“I know…I…thank you Michael.”
“Maria, tell me what’s wrong with you, please I don’t know how to help you if you don’t tell me.” I plead with her, she’s making me really nervous something is not right with her and that terrifies me more than I’d like to admit.
“Michael, I called my mom and she…she’s upset with me for quitting, she said horrible things to me, that if I didn’t sing then there wasn’t anything else I was good at so I better take a look in the mirror before I fuck up my life even more.”
“Maria, since when do you listen to your psycho mother? Never that’s when, Maria it’s your choice and if that’s the way you feel, who the fuck is she to put you down? She’s nothing but a money hungry bitch and you know it!” Why does she all of a sudden care what her mother thinks of her? After Maria made it big Liz told me that he mother changed, Maria bought the diner outright for her mom but that just wasn’t good enough for her. She wanted more, she wanted Maria to pay for it all is all the family Maria has so I can understand her need to hold onto it, no matter how damaging it is.
“I know Michael, it’s just that she said that to me minutes after my manager ripped into me for wanting to quit. I just can’t handle it anymore Michael, I feel like I’m being pulled in so many directions, I have to make everyone happy but no one gives a shit if I’m happy! When do I get to be happy…really happy Michael, because from where I sit there isn’t anything left for me to look forward to?” She’s crying on the phone to me now, she’s way beyond depressed at this point and I want to reach through the phone and help her.
“Maria, listen to me, there’s so much for you to look forward to, I promise. And you’ll be here at the end of the week right? Liz will be here tomorrow with Max and she’s looking forward to seeing you Maria.”
“Why? There is no reason for her to want to see me, I let her down I always let everyone down and I can’t stop the pain Michael, it hurts so much.”
“Shh, Maria, please don’t talk like that. I fucked up Maria don’t blame yourself for something that wasn’t in your control. No one blames you and you know that, but why do you feel the need to torture yourself with it? Why Maria? God! I just it hurts me so much to hear you talk like that.”
“Why Michael, you didn’t do anything wrong, I did. I let you go and now I’m paying for it.”
“It’s not a punishment Maria, I want to be with you. I’m not with Angela because of you. No other reason, you Maria, doesn’t that mean something to you?” I plead with her to hear what I’m saying and understand.
“Y-you broke it off with her because of me? But why? You were going to get married you love her.” She’s crying still but I can manage to figure out what she is saying to me.
“No Maria, I did love her but I wasn’t in love with her. I couldn’t be because…because I still love you Maria…I’m still in love with you and…and I want to be with you. I know it’s not going to happen overnight but I want to try. Will you…do you want to Maria?” Her silence was scaring me now, maybe I was wrong maybe I was reading into something that wasn’t there, she…
“Yes Michael, more than anything.” That was all I needed to hear. I breathe a sigh of relief and we finish off our conversation with me telling her to call me tomorrow afternoon and I could let her know when Liz and Max would be arriving.
Liz was right, not that I should ever doubt her that’s for sure. She has yet to let me down. I wonder how things are going with her and Max, I hope to hell they are doing some much needed talking.
***********************************
Liz
We ate in comfortable silence watching TV now he’s in the bathroom probably brushing his teeth or something and I’m laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. I wonder what he’s thinking; I wonder if he’s wondering what I’m thinking. This is so frustrating; I just wish he would talk to me and stop avoiding the subject but I also don’t want to push him either. Unfortunately for him I’m growing tired of waiting and have decided that we need this time to talk. I don’t know what’s going to happen once we get to California, or when he sees his girlfriend but I know one thing; I want him to know exactly how I feel and what I want out of our friendship and that is a relationship with him.
“Hey what are you thinking about?” He crosses the room and turns off the TV then takes a seat in a chair near the window. Without addressing him, I say,
“Us.”
“Us?”
“Yes Max, us. You, me…us.”
“Liz.” His tone was of warning for me to let the subject go, too bad not this time I think to myself.
“No Max, I think we need to talk and I know you know that we need to talk. Why are you fighting me?”
“I’m not fighting you I just can’t deal with it right now.”
“When then? Huh Max? When? Because the way I see it we have today and only today to talk things over before we get to California, back to your girlfriend.” I say somewhat sarcastically and I’m not sure right now if I intended it to be that way or not.
“Why are you pushing this Liz? Was it because of the kiss? Because if it was it shouldn’t have happened…”
“But it did so stop pretending that it didn’t! Are you trying to hurt my feelings and make me feel bad?”
“What?! No! Liz please I just…I can’t go down this road right now with you.” I can hear the pleading in his voice, but I push it to the side, I won’t let him win this time. This is just too important to me to just give up.
“Too late Max, you kissed me remember and I wanted you to so bad and I don’t regret it so please don’t tell me you did.” My voice laced with all the pain and fear I feel inside. He leans forward and cradles his face in his hands.
“Liz, I don’t regret it, I don’t regret anything that has happened between us…ever. I just can’t let myself fall again Liz. I barely made it the first time; it was just so hard being without you. I know I can’t do that again can’t you understand that?” He looks me in the eyes and I can see the pain and hurt, and I know I put it there. I put that doubt in his eyes, before I did what I did, Max only regarded me with trust and honesty.
“I understand Max, you can’t forgive me, you don’t trust me and I know what I did was wrong and I’m so sorry I had to hurt you, but I know better now. I know that I can tell you anything and you won’t turn away from me. Please Max…let’s just try.” The tears I was holding back sprung forth and I didn’t try to hide them from him, I wanted him to see that what he said affected me, good or bad.
“I want to so bad Liz, so bad but I just don’ know if I have it in me right now. I want…”
“What do you want Max?” I boldly ask him hoping get the answer I want.
“You.” He says and the tears start to fall from his eyes, I quickly rise from the bed and kneel before him. I place my hands on his knees and he looks right at me, I finally see it.
I don’t believe it’s taken me this long to recognize it, it’s the expression in his eyes that he always has when he looks at me, but up until this very moment I didn’t know what it meant, now though I know what I see is love. He loves me; he’s always loved me. I never saw it I never looked for it, but it was always there from the first day we spoke. I can do nothing at this moment but cry, cry for the love we could have been sharing and for the pain that we both endured because of our lack of communication.
“Liz, I’m sorry I never told you how I felt. I should have told you my feelings instead of waiting for you to guess or just figure it out. That was wrong of me and that was the dumbest thing I could have done. I regret it with everything I am, but that’s over now Liz.”
“Is it Max? Because I still don’t know how you feel, how you really feel. You say you love me, but what does that mean?” I truly didn’t know what he meant by it, did he love me as a friend now or more than a friend? He raises his hands and frames my face then leans in as close as possible without touching me and says,
“I’m in love with you Liz, I tried to fight it, tried to ignore it but I can’t because it’s how I feel how I’ve always felt. But Liz I don’t…I can’t trust you with my feelings right now so please don’t push me okay?” I just breakdown at his profession of love for me, to hear him say it makes me so happy but what he follows at the end of it, breaks my heart. I know now that the only way back into Max’s heart is to tell him the truth, to tell him everything. No matter how hard I try to push my past away, he needs to know that I trust him with every single detail of my life.
“Liz your words and your actions in the past have hurt me so bad, I felt like I just couldn’t breathe some days and if I’m honest with myself, I still feel that way when I think about you.” He is still crying, he’s laying his heart out for me again, he wants to trust me again without even knowing it, he’s letting me into his heart again only this time I know it and I have every intention of not breaking his heart or mine for that matter again. He leans his head against the back of the chair with me still at his feet. I know right now what I say will change things I just hope for the better.
***********************************
Max
I don’t believe she managed to get all of that out of me. I promised myself that I wouldn’t let her back into my heart and I have already started the process. I just hope I don’t regret it. When she cries she has no idea how deeply that affects me. Liz just doesn’t up and cry for no reason, when she hurts really badly she cries. Sometimes it just those small tears that trickle from the corners of her eyes that does it for me, breaks me makes me bend to her will. I can’t stand to see her in pain, and that’s what she is in right now, but I can’t change my feelings about us in an instant. I need time, I need to know that we have total honesty before I invest myself into this…this whatever we have right now.
She’s sitting at my feet, stroking my leg up and down to help ease my pain. Above all else she is completely selfless, I guess that’s why I don’t understand her reasons for a lot of things. I don’t know if I’ll ever understand where she was coming from when…
“It started when I was adopted, I thought it was going to be a better life then the foster homes I was living in since I was two, and at first it was. They were so great to me, but then something changed the summer before freshman year. They would lecture me on things they expected of me, they stopped letting me go out they told me that I needed to buckle down or whatever and concentrate on my studies. They would lock me in my room for hours, making me read, hell they would quiz me on the books I was reading, they told me that they expected nothing less than all A’s and that I would be punished if I didn’t perform to their standards. I didn’t take their threats seriously so one night I snuck out to Maria’s house, it was the summer and I wanted to have some kind of fun. Well they found out I was missing, I thought I could sneak back into the house without them noticing but I was wrong. That was the first time…”
Listening to her relive her life is painful but therapeutic for both of us at the same time; we both need to go through it together. After it’s all said and done I want to be the one that’s here for her, no one else just me.
“He hit me so hard I couldn’t even breathe, I don’t think I have ever been hit as hard as that up until that point. She just stood there and watched him slap and throw me around like a rag doll. After they left my room I cried for a long time, then I was just fed up I didn’t want to be that unhappy anymore so I tried…I tried to…” She couldn’t get the words out but I knew what she was talking about because Maria already told me. I reach out a hand to caress her cheek and catch her tears.
“I know Liz…I know.” She looks at me surprised, but she simply nods and continues.
“So after that the beginning of school came and I had wanted to take some art and photography classes, cause that’s what I was really interested in, but they wouldn’t let me. They told me that I needed to start thinking about the future, about what I wanted to do with my life. I told them that I wanted to either be a photographer or painter because I loved doing both of them so much. That back talk earned me a slap across the face and punishment for a week.” She has a far away look on her face, I know she’s living in that moment but I have to ask this next question because now that she’s been talking about it I need to know when the other time was, Maria said Liz tried to…she tried twice.
“Liz, when…when was the last time you…”
“The day before you moved to town with your family.”
“Oh, God Liz. I’m so sorry you thought that was the only way to solve your problems, but why didn’t you tell me how bad it was?”
“I didn’t want you knowing how screwed up I was, I wanted you to think of me in a positive way, I wanted to make you happy so if something was bothering me I just kept it to myself because that was better than having you feel sorry for me.” I rose from the chair and reach out my hands for her to take, which she did without hesitation. I walk us over to the bed and motion for her to sit beside me against the headboard.
“I should have pushed you harder Liz, I should have really seen you and seen the pain you were in, but I didn’t and I’m sorry for letting you down.” I take her small hand in mine and raise it to my lips. I brush a light kiss across the back of her hand.
“No! Max don’t you know that if you didn’t come into my life when you did I don’t think I would have made it. I was stupid and careless, trying to end my life was not the way to solve my problems I know that now, I know better. That is something that I wish I never even tried to do it was selfish of me and I have tried to live my life from that point on taking into consideration everyone’s feelings, and how one thing I do can affect them so much. I should have told you Max that was my downfall, my mistake not yours. You could have never even guessed it, so let’s not dwell on that okay?”
“Okay Liz…okay.” I didn’t know what to say to her at this point. I know though there are two things I need to know, things that have been driving me crazy since the day I got that phone call from the hospital. So I ask her hesitantly what exactly happened the day she called the police.
***********************************
Liz
“Liz, what happened that day, I mean how did he find you, were you with him?”
I knew that I couldn’t avoid that question for long, I could see in his eyes he needed these answers to understand everything that was going through my head at the time. I can’t say that I want to retell this story that’s for damn sure, since I can only remember some of what happened maybe Max could fill in the missing gaps.
“I knew I shouldn’t have gone to his house, I should have just stayed where I was, but I thought he was gone and I was stupid to believe him when he told me I could come get my things. I only had one box of things I wanted to take, a small box at that, I was just about finished and he walked through the door. I don’t know how he knew I was pregnant, I had on a baggy shirt and pants but h-he knew and he…he thought it was yours. He didn’t even give me a chance to run, he snatched the box from my hands…”
From that point on I wasn’t in the room with Max, I was thrown back into that horrific night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“So he finally got you pregnant? Huh?” He was drunk again and he looks pissed. I can’t even make a run for it.
“Took long enough, he was after all fucking your brains out day in and day out right Liz? So where is prince charming anyway?”
“I’m not pregnant! I don’t know what you’re even talking about, just let me go Jordan!” He grabs my forearm and his fingers pinch my sensitive skin, I try and pull away but that only causes him to grab me harder.
“Liz your nothing but a slut who gave it up to the first guy that showed any liking to you, and besides that you don’t hide it very well.” He was in my face now, the smell of his breath was enough for me to want to hurl, but I just close my eyes and take a deep breathe trying to prepare myself for what was coming…and I knew it was coming.
“W-what are you talking about, look just let me go okay? Jordan you’re drunk and you don’t know what you’re doing right now.” He has me pinned against the door now he takes one hand and slides it between our bodies and lays his palm against my abdomen.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m back in the room with Max and I didn’t realize until this very moment that he had placed me between his legs, my back to him and is holding me tightly as I continue.
“Then he looked really pissed I could see the rage in his eyes and right before his hand comes up and slaps me across the face, I pray right at that moment that I live to see another day that I…that I live to see you again.” I could hear Max’s snobs behind me but I didn’t stop I won’t stop until he knows it all.
“After that everything is kind of a blur, he hit me a few times, then threw me to the floor, but not before he hurled me over the coffee table onto my stomach. That’s when it happened that’s when the pain shot through my body like a rocket, the burning and the ache started in my stomach and spread throughout my entire body within seconds. I knew that was it, that my baby wasn’t going to make it, I knew that I probably wouldn’t either. So as a last resort I stood on shaky legs and lunged at him with what little adrenaline I had left in me. Thankfully it was enough to make him stumble and hit is head against one of the end tables, knocking him out cold. I quickly crawled to the front door and made my way outside. I was crying so hard and I was in so much pain, I was just going to sit there for a minute but then I turned when I heard him grunt, so forced myself up and somehow managed to run, I don’t know how I was running Max, I was in so much pain and agony but I was more terrified that he would kill me, so I just ran and ran. I don’t know how far I made it when my legs gave out to the pain that was now forming a permanent home within them. I saw a pay phone and I don’t remember making the phone call, all I remember is sinking to the ground and the blood…there was so much blood I knew right before everything went black that I was going to d-die.” I was crying uncontrollably now, I couldn’t stop I didn’t want to remember any of it, but I had to I had to share that part of my life with Max, I needed him to trust me again. I wanted him to know everything, I didn’t want there to be secrets between us anymore.
***********************************
Max
I can’t believe she went through all of that by herself, it pains me to know that I could have helped her if only I didn’t leave her, desert her when she was obviously crying out for me to see her, see her pain. I can do nothing but cry with her, to morn the loss of her baby and all her innocence in the process. She has lived such a hard life and I never knew, I was supposed to be her best friend and I never bothered to look beyond the surface to really see that all along she wanted me to know these things, but was too afraid to tell me…afraid I would leave her. Ultimately though it didn’t matter because I left anyway, I was selfish and self-centered. I claim to have loved her but I never really saw her. I wrap my arms around her tightly making a silent promise that from this point on I would never leave her and I would always be there for her, whether we’re together or not I couldn’t…no I wouldn’t ever let anyone hurt her that way again.
I didn’t know how to calm her down, her choking sobs consumed the room…consumed my heart it tore into my soul and left a wound so deep that I will never remember what it was like before it was placed there…placed there by her sadness and pain. So I did the only thing I could…I told her my feelings hoping that they would help heal some of her pain.
“Liz I was so scared that you would never wake up, that I would never get to talk to you again or see you again. I thought that if you didn’t make it that I wouldn’t be able to survive. When I got that phone call from the hospital I didn’t know what to think, I didn’t know if you were okay or not. But when I got there and I saw you lying there, bruised and broken I just lost it…I didn’t know what was wrong because I was talking to you but you weren’t moving, you didn’t say a word. I was terrified I felt like my heart was lying on that bed and I didn’t know how to fix it…to fix you. You needed me Liz, and I left you I wanted to just die right there, because if you didn’t make it that’s what would have happened to me…I know then and I know now I can’t live without Liz. I’m sorry I didn’t love you better and I’m sorry I didn’t protect you but I promise you this Liz, no matter what happens from now on, I’m never leaving you. But that’s not my choice, it’s yours to make, so when…if you should decide you don’t want me to be a part of your life, I’ll walk away Liz. Not because I want to but because you want me to, I don’t want you holding onto the past because of me, so if you need…” She turned around to face me and places her small hand on my cheek wiping away my tears.
“God no Max! I need you like I need air to breathe, please don’t ever think that I don’t want or need you, because I do. You are what kept me going all those years Max, you…not the Max that I conjured up in my mind but…You Max. I know you just like deep down I know that you know me, and we hurt each other but I’m over that I don’t want to dwell on it, I just…I want to be with you Max…because…because…” I need to hear her say it; I need to feel it radiate through every inch of my body and soul.
“I love you Max, I love you more than you could ever imagine…I’ve always loved you.”
I close my eyes and breathe for the first time in my life I feel alive really alive, to hear the person I have loved for so long admit her feelings aloud just fills me with so much happiness, so without any hesitation on her or my part I reach out and pull her to my lips. We share kisses filled with promises to be kept and life to be lived…together.
TBC…
Liz
What should I wear?
I finish my shower and am now standing in my hotel room wearing nothing but a towel and the water from my hair is dripping down my back. I have been looking through my bag for about ten minutes trying to find something comfortable and cute to wear.
Finally, I see a pair of light blue cotton shorts and tank top. I quickly change and tie my hair back in a ponytail because it’s still too wet to leave out. I grab my room key and turn off the lights before heading next door to Max’s room.
I have a knot in my stomach and I don’t know why I’m nervous. There is no reason for it we are just going to eat dinner, hang out and talk.
Talk.
Just the thought of it is making me feel sick. I know that Max and I have to talk; we are way overdue in that department. However, a huge piece of me feels like if we do, will that really change anything. I mean what if I tell him how I feel and he doesn’t feel like that anymore, like he did a year ago. Maybe he thought he was in love with me but now that he has had time away from the situation realizes that he really wasn’t in love with me.
Another part of me can’t deny the feelings that I know are passing through us. When we almost kissed I know at that moment he wanted to just as badly as I did. And if Michael hadn’t interrupted us, we would have. What does that all mean?
I don’t have much time to consider the question, since I’m now standing in front of Max’s door. I reach out a shaky hand to knock, get a grip Liz and breathe.
Max opens the door immediately thereafter, and I stand there in the doorway speechless.
Could it be possible for him to look any hotter? Seriously, he has on black khaki pants and a white t-shirt, which does nothing to hide his perfectly sculpted chest and arms. No he looks good enough to….
“Ah Liz? Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to come in?” He says while stepping back a bit to let me in. Thank God! I don’t think he noticed me checking him out.
***********************************
Max
My God! Is she trying to kill me over here? She’s standing in front of me wearing these short baby blue shorts and matching tank top, her hair is pulled away from her face in a single ponytail, she looks so innocent but then I look at her…really look at her and she is eyeing me up and down concentrating on a few major parts of my body and I swear I can feel my temperature rise instantaneously.
After I let her in, she takes a seat on the bed and honestly I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the day with her. There is so much that remains to be said between us and I realize after talking to Michael that those things need to be said before we get home. And definitely before I face Dariana.
“So Max did you want to order now or …?”
“No, we can order now to tell you the truth I’m starving.” I say while crossing the room to take a seat beside her, I grab the menu from the nightstand and hand it to her to look at.
“When aren’t you hungry Max, I mean I don’t know how you do it.” She says jokingly to me, but she stopped her sentence and I’m really interested in finding out what she was going to say. So I press on.
“How do I do what?” She stills for a moment and looks up from her perusal of the menu.
“I mean you eat anything you want and you look like…like that.” She says quickly and draws her attention to the menu, which by the way she is looking at as if it were the most interesting thing in the world to read right now. I just smile and nudge her shoulder playfully.
“Oh, and how is it that I look Liz, can you just you know clarify it for a simple minded creature as myself?” I see the rising blush on her face and I can’t help but smile. She mumbles out a quick “no.” Oh this is too good to let drop, I have to continue.
“No? Well I guess it’s not that good then if you don’t wish to discuss it further, I mean there is nothing really great or anything, I’m just your average Joe with…” She throws her arms in the air thereby releasing her death grip on the menu and says,
“Fine! Okay you want to know so bad Evans? Hot! You look fucking hot! Are you happy now? Have I boosted your male ego enough to place an order?” She says all flustered and I can’t say that seeing her like this is priceless. I sit still watching her and when she’s done she plops back onto the bed next to me and lays on her back letting out one long exasperated sigh.
I turn and look down at her, her eyes are closes her cheeks are flushed and I just start laughing.
“What the hell is so funny Max?”
“N-nothing Liz…nothing.” I’m laughing so hard I have to grab my middle to hold back the pain from it all.
“Oh no! Tell me right now what is so funny about what I just said.” She grabs the back of my shirt thereby allowing me to fall beside her.
“It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it. Your face was all rosy and you looked completely mortified.”
“Stop laughing!” She is so cute she leans up on her elbow to look down at me.”
“I’m serious Max, stop laughing.” She is trying to sound firm, but her face is telling a completely different story. She is fighting to hold back her laughter. I had tears slipping from the corner of my eyes and she just lost it.
One second she’s laying next to me the next she’s on top of me, tickling my sides. That is my weak spot and I left myself open to it.
“No Liz stop!”
“No!”
“Oh God! Liz please, I’m begging you…stop!”
“No! No! No! Not until you suffer from making fun of me and making me say that shit out loud!” She continues and I can’t even breathe anymore, she is killing me. I manage to free my arms from under her legs; I grab hold of her waist and flip us so I’m on top of her now with her hands pinned above her head.
“Oh no Liz, what ever will you do now?” I tease her. She tries to fight me but it’s futile, she might be spunky but she can’t beat me not at this angle.
“Cheater! You just cheat Evans you don’t play fair at all!”
“Why is it that when I start to win I’m cheating? Huh Parker?” She looks absolutely adorable right now, she’s starting to pout and she has no idea what she’s doing to my body right now. She’s writhing beneath me and it’s taking all of my willpower to not attack her.
“Because it just does, you’re bigger than me and…and…mmm” I lean down and cover her lips with mine, I release her hands and she brings them to rest on my shoulders. I lay my body completely on top of hers as our lips fight to reacquaint themselves with each other. She lets out a soft moan and I take that opportunity to slide my tongue into her warm mouth, over and over until we are both moaning into each other’s mouths. She feels absolutely perfect, her lips are as soft as I remember and the warmth is indescribable.
She’s pressing her body into mine and I can’t fight the sensations it’s causing inside of me, and instead of fighting it like I should I don’t. I respond with equal force into her small frame. Our lips sliding back and forth over and over until the need for air overpowers the sensations our gathering has brought.
We pull away breathlessly and stare at one another, her lips are swollen and bright red, her cheeks are flush with pink and her eyes bore straight into my soul and I feel like if I stare at her too long in this condition I might actually cry.
***********************************
Liz
This must be a dream! I mean one minute we’re messing around and the next his soft full lips are on mine. I can’t help it at first contact I moan softly because I can’t believe I forgot how perfect it felt to kiss him. To be beneath him, surrounded by him and I can’t help it I press my body up into his and he responds with his whole body, his mouth his hands. I can’t get enough of him, I want to crawl inside of his body and stay there forever.
When I hear the soft moan escape his mouth that was it for me that’s why I had to lean up into his body I needed him to feel what I was feeling, how he makes me react. No one has ever made me feel the way he does just by kissing me.
Sadly we pull away, our ragged breathing filling the quiet room and I stare up at him. His features are flush, his lips are puffy and red in other words he looks absolutely beautiful, I know he can see the feelings wash over my face and at that moment he looks away.
I wonder if I did something wrong. He rises and helps me up into a sitting positing.
“Max?”
“Yeah Liz?”
“Are you okay…did I do…”
“No! Liz really it’s okay, how about we order now?” He’s changing the subject and at this moment it’s pissing me off.
“We can order Max that’s fine, I want a cheeseburger with cheddar cheese and barbeque sauce and fries, and don’t forget the bottle of ketchup.” I get up and fix my rumpled clothes and walk over to the mirror above the dresser to fix my hair while Max places the order for room service. I run my fingers lightly over my lips they are still swollen and I can’t help but smile over what Max and I just did. I know I want to talk about it, but I guess that conversation will have to wait until after we eat.
***********************************
Michael
“Hi Maria.”
“Michael! Hi, how are you?”
“I’m good, so I just wanted to call you and see you know how you’re doing?” My last conversation with her ended abruptly and besides that I just wanted to hear her voice.
“Oh well I’m okay, just really busy. Trying to finish up this tour and get my life together.” I can tell something is bothering her and I don’t know if she wants me knowing but I can’t not ask.
“Maria?”
“Yeah Michael?”
“You can talk to me you know, you can tell me anything and I’ll listen you know that right?” She’s silent for a few minutes, I can just hear her breathing hitch in her throat and then I can hear some shuffling before she starts to speak again.
“I know…I…thank you Michael.”
“Maria, tell me what’s wrong with you, please I don’t know how to help you if you don’t tell me.” I plead with her, she’s making me really nervous something is not right with her and that terrifies me more than I’d like to admit.
“Michael, I called my mom and she…she’s upset with me for quitting, she said horrible things to me, that if I didn’t sing then there wasn’t anything else I was good at so I better take a look in the mirror before I fuck up my life even more.”
“Maria, since when do you listen to your psycho mother? Never that’s when, Maria it’s your choice and if that’s the way you feel, who the fuck is she to put you down? She’s nothing but a money hungry bitch and you know it!” Why does she all of a sudden care what her mother thinks of her? After Maria made it big Liz told me that he mother changed, Maria bought the diner outright for her mom but that just wasn’t good enough for her. She wanted more, she wanted Maria to pay for it all is all the family Maria has so I can understand her need to hold onto it, no matter how damaging it is.
“I know Michael, it’s just that she said that to me minutes after my manager ripped into me for wanting to quit. I just can’t handle it anymore Michael, I feel like I’m being pulled in so many directions, I have to make everyone happy but no one gives a shit if I’m happy! When do I get to be happy…really happy Michael, because from where I sit there isn’t anything left for me to look forward to?” She’s crying on the phone to me now, she’s way beyond depressed at this point and I want to reach through the phone and help her.
“Maria, listen to me, there’s so much for you to look forward to, I promise. And you’ll be here at the end of the week right? Liz will be here tomorrow with Max and she’s looking forward to seeing you Maria.”
“Why? There is no reason for her to want to see me, I let her down I always let everyone down and I can’t stop the pain Michael, it hurts so much.”
“Shh, Maria, please don’t talk like that. I fucked up Maria don’t blame yourself for something that wasn’t in your control. No one blames you and you know that, but why do you feel the need to torture yourself with it? Why Maria? God! I just it hurts me so much to hear you talk like that.”
“Why Michael, you didn’t do anything wrong, I did. I let you go and now I’m paying for it.”
“It’s not a punishment Maria, I want to be with you. I’m not with Angela because of you. No other reason, you Maria, doesn’t that mean something to you?” I plead with her to hear what I’m saying and understand.
“Y-you broke it off with her because of me? But why? You were going to get married you love her.” She’s crying still but I can manage to figure out what she is saying to me.
“No Maria, I did love her but I wasn’t in love with her. I couldn’t be because…because I still love you Maria…I’m still in love with you and…and I want to be with you. I know it’s not going to happen overnight but I want to try. Will you…do you want to Maria?” Her silence was scaring me now, maybe I was wrong maybe I was reading into something that wasn’t there, she…
“Yes Michael, more than anything.” That was all I needed to hear. I breathe a sigh of relief and we finish off our conversation with me telling her to call me tomorrow afternoon and I could let her know when Liz and Max would be arriving.
Liz was right, not that I should ever doubt her that’s for sure. She has yet to let me down. I wonder how things are going with her and Max, I hope to hell they are doing some much needed talking.
***********************************
Liz
We ate in comfortable silence watching TV now he’s in the bathroom probably brushing his teeth or something and I’m laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. I wonder what he’s thinking; I wonder if he’s wondering what I’m thinking. This is so frustrating; I just wish he would talk to me and stop avoiding the subject but I also don’t want to push him either. Unfortunately for him I’m growing tired of waiting and have decided that we need this time to talk. I don’t know what’s going to happen once we get to California, or when he sees his girlfriend but I know one thing; I want him to know exactly how I feel and what I want out of our friendship and that is a relationship with him.
“Hey what are you thinking about?” He crosses the room and turns off the TV then takes a seat in a chair near the window. Without addressing him, I say,
“Us.”
“Us?”
“Yes Max, us. You, me…us.”
“Liz.” His tone was of warning for me to let the subject go, too bad not this time I think to myself.
“No Max, I think we need to talk and I know you know that we need to talk. Why are you fighting me?”
“I’m not fighting you I just can’t deal with it right now.”
“When then? Huh Max? When? Because the way I see it we have today and only today to talk things over before we get to California, back to your girlfriend.” I say somewhat sarcastically and I’m not sure right now if I intended it to be that way or not.
“Why are you pushing this Liz? Was it because of the kiss? Because if it was it shouldn’t have happened…”
“But it did so stop pretending that it didn’t! Are you trying to hurt my feelings and make me feel bad?”
“What?! No! Liz please I just…I can’t go down this road right now with you.” I can hear the pleading in his voice, but I push it to the side, I won’t let him win this time. This is just too important to me to just give up.
“Too late Max, you kissed me remember and I wanted you to so bad and I don’t regret it so please don’t tell me you did.” My voice laced with all the pain and fear I feel inside. He leans forward and cradles his face in his hands.
“Liz, I don’t regret it, I don’t regret anything that has happened between us…ever. I just can’t let myself fall again Liz. I barely made it the first time; it was just so hard being without you. I know I can’t do that again can’t you understand that?” He looks me in the eyes and I can see the pain and hurt, and I know I put it there. I put that doubt in his eyes, before I did what I did, Max only regarded me with trust and honesty.
“I understand Max, you can’t forgive me, you don’t trust me and I know what I did was wrong and I’m so sorry I had to hurt you, but I know better now. I know that I can tell you anything and you won’t turn away from me. Please Max…let’s just try.” The tears I was holding back sprung forth and I didn’t try to hide them from him, I wanted him to see that what he said affected me, good or bad.
“I want to so bad Liz, so bad but I just don’ know if I have it in me right now. I want…”
“What do you want Max?” I boldly ask him hoping get the answer I want.
“You.” He says and the tears start to fall from his eyes, I quickly rise from the bed and kneel before him. I place my hands on his knees and he looks right at me, I finally see it.
I don’t believe it’s taken me this long to recognize it, it’s the expression in his eyes that he always has when he looks at me, but up until this very moment I didn’t know what it meant, now though I know what I see is love. He loves me; he’s always loved me. I never saw it I never looked for it, but it was always there from the first day we spoke. I can do nothing at this moment but cry, cry for the love we could have been sharing and for the pain that we both endured because of our lack of communication.
“Liz, I’m sorry I never told you how I felt. I should have told you my feelings instead of waiting for you to guess or just figure it out. That was wrong of me and that was the dumbest thing I could have done. I regret it with everything I am, but that’s over now Liz.”
“Is it Max? Because I still don’t know how you feel, how you really feel. You say you love me, but what does that mean?” I truly didn’t know what he meant by it, did he love me as a friend now or more than a friend? He raises his hands and frames my face then leans in as close as possible without touching me and says,
“I’m in love with you Liz, I tried to fight it, tried to ignore it but I can’t because it’s how I feel how I’ve always felt. But Liz I don’t…I can’t trust you with my feelings right now so please don’t push me okay?” I just breakdown at his profession of love for me, to hear him say it makes me so happy but what he follows at the end of it, breaks my heart. I know now that the only way back into Max’s heart is to tell him the truth, to tell him everything. No matter how hard I try to push my past away, he needs to know that I trust him with every single detail of my life.
“Liz your words and your actions in the past have hurt me so bad, I felt like I just couldn’t breathe some days and if I’m honest with myself, I still feel that way when I think about you.” He is still crying, he’s laying his heart out for me again, he wants to trust me again without even knowing it, he’s letting me into his heart again only this time I know it and I have every intention of not breaking his heart or mine for that matter again. He leans his head against the back of the chair with me still at his feet. I know right now what I say will change things I just hope for the better.
***********************************
Max
I don’t believe she managed to get all of that out of me. I promised myself that I wouldn’t let her back into my heart and I have already started the process. I just hope I don’t regret it. When she cries she has no idea how deeply that affects me. Liz just doesn’t up and cry for no reason, when she hurts really badly she cries. Sometimes it just those small tears that trickle from the corners of her eyes that does it for me, breaks me makes me bend to her will. I can’t stand to see her in pain, and that’s what she is in right now, but I can’t change my feelings about us in an instant. I need time, I need to know that we have total honesty before I invest myself into this…this whatever we have right now.
She’s sitting at my feet, stroking my leg up and down to help ease my pain. Above all else she is completely selfless, I guess that’s why I don’t understand her reasons for a lot of things. I don’t know if I’ll ever understand where she was coming from when…
“It started when I was adopted, I thought it was going to be a better life then the foster homes I was living in since I was two, and at first it was. They were so great to me, but then something changed the summer before freshman year. They would lecture me on things they expected of me, they stopped letting me go out they told me that I needed to buckle down or whatever and concentrate on my studies. They would lock me in my room for hours, making me read, hell they would quiz me on the books I was reading, they told me that they expected nothing less than all A’s and that I would be punished if I didn’t perform to their standards. I didn’t take their threats seriously so one night I snuck out to Maria’s house, it was the summer and I wanted to have some kind of fun. Well they found out I was missing, I thought I could sneak back into the house without them noticing but I was wrong. That was the first time…”
Listening to her relive her life is painful but therapeutic for both of us at the same time; we both need to go through it together. After it’s all said and done I want to be the one that’s here for her, no one else just me.
“He hit me so hard I couldn’t even breathe, I don’t think I have ever been hit as hard as that up until that point. She just stood there and watched him slap and throw me around like a rag doll. After they left my room I cried for a long time, then I was just fed up I didn’t want to be that unhappy anymore so I tried…I tried to…” She couldn’t get the words out but I knew what she was talking about because Maria already told me. I reach out a hand to caress her cheek and catch her tears.
“I know Liz…I know.” She looks at me surprised, but she simply nods and continues.
“So after that the beginning of school came and I had wanted to take some art and photography classes, cause that’s what I was really interested in, but they wouldn’t let me. They told me that I needed to start thinking about the future, about what I wanted to do with my life. I told them that I wanted to either be a photographer or painter because I loved doing both of them so much. That back talk earned me a slap across the face and punishment for a week.” She has a far away look on her face, I know she’s living in that moment but I have to ask this next question because now that she’s been talking about it I need to know when the other time was, Maria said Liz tried to…she tried twice.
“Liz, when…when was the last time you…”
“The day before you moved to town with your family.”
“Oh, God Liz. I’m so sorry you thought that was the only way to solve your problems, but why didn’t you tell me how bad it was?”
“I didn’t want you knowing how screwed up I was, I wanted you to think of me in a positive way, I wanted to make you happy so if something was bothering me I just kept it to myself because that was better than having you feel sorry for me.” I rose from the chair and reach out my hands for her to take, which she did without hesitation. I walk us over to the bed and motion for her to sit beside me against the headboard.
“I should have pushed you harder Liz, I should have really seen you and seen the pain you were in, but I didn’t and I’m sorry for letting you down.” I take her small hand in mine and raise it to my lips. I brush a light kiss across the back of her hand.
“No! Max don’t you know that if you didn’t come into my life when you did I don’t think I would have made it. I was stupid and careless, trying to end my life was not the way to solve my problems I know that now, I know better. That is something that I wish I never even tried to do it was selfish of me and I have tried to live my life from that point on taking into consideration everyone’s feelings, and how one thing I do can affect them so much. I should have told you Max that was my downfall, my mistake not yours. You could have never even guessed it, so let’s not dwell on that okay?”
“Okay Liz…okay.” I didn’t know what to say to her at this point. I know though there are two things I need to know, things that have been driving me crazy since the day I got that phone call from the hospital. So I ask her hesitantly what exactly happened the day she called the police.
***********************************
Liz
“Liz, what happened that day, I mean how did he find you, were you with him?”
I knew that I couldn’t avoid that question for long, I could see in his eyes he needed these answers to understand everything that was going through my head at the time. I can’t say that I want to retell this story that’s for damn sure, since I can only remember some of what happened maybe Max could fill in the missing gaps.
“I knew I shouldn’t have gone to his house, I should have just stayed where I was, but I thought he was gone and I was stupid to believe him when he told me I could come get my things. I only had one box of things I wanted to take, a small box at that, I was just about finished and he walked through the door. I don’t know how he knew I was pregnant, I had on a baggy shirt and pants but h-he knew and he…he thought it was yours. He didn’t even give me a chance to run, he snatched the box from my hands…”
From that point on I wasn’t in the room with Max, I was thrown back into that horrific night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“So he finally got you pregnant? Huh?” He was drunk again and he looks pissed. I can’t even make a run for it.
“Took long enough, he was after all fucking your brains out day in and day out right Liz? So where is prince charming anyway?”
“I’m not pregnant! I don’t know what you’re even talking about, just let me go Jordan!” He grabs my forearm and his fingers pinch my sensitive skin, I try and pull away but that only causes him to grab me harder.
“Liz your nothing but a slut who gave it up to the first guy that showed any liking to you, and besides that you don’t hide it very well.” He was in my face now, the smell of his breath was enough for me to want to hurl, but I just close my eyes and take a deep breathe trying to prepare myself for what was coming…and I knew it was coming.
“W-what are you talking about, look just let me go okay? Jordan you’re drunk and you don’t know what you’re doing right now.” He has me pinned against the door now he takes one hand and slides it between our bodies and lays his palm against my abdomen.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m back in the room with Max and I didn’t realize until this very moment that he had placed me between his legs, my back to him and is holding me tightly as I continue.
“Then he looked really pissed I could see the rage in his eyes and right before his hand comes up and slaps me across the face, I pray right at that moment that I live to see another day that I…that I live to see you again.” I could hear Max’s snobs behind me but I didn’t stop I won’t stop until he knows it all.
“After that everything is kind of a blur, he hit me a few times, then threw me to the floor, but not before he hurled me over the coffee table onto my stomach. That’s when it happened that’s when the pain shot through my body like a rocket, the burning and the ache started in my stomach and spread throughout my entire body within seconds. I knew that was it, that my baby wasn’t going to make it, I knew that I probably wouldn’t either. So as a last resort I stood on shaky legs and lunged at him with what little adrenaline I had left in me. Thankfully it was enough to make him stumble and hit is head against one of the end tables, knocking him out cold. I quickly crawled to the front door and made my way outside. I was crying so hard and I was in so much pain, I was just going to sit there for a minute but then I turned when I heard him grunt, so forced myself up and somehow managed to run, I don’t know how I was running Max, I was in so much pain and agony but I was more terrified that he would kill me, so I just ran and ran. I don’t know how far I made it when my legs gave out to the pain that was now forming a permanent home within them. I saw a pay phone and I don’t remember making the phone call, all I remember is sinking to the ground and the blood…there was so much blood I knew right before everything went black that I was going to d-die.” I was crying uncontrollably now, I couldn’t stop I didn’t want to remember any of it, but I had to I had to share that part of my life with Max, I needed him to trust me again. I wanted him to know everything, I didn’t want there to be secrets between us anymore.
***********************************
Max
I can’t believe she went through all of that by herself, it pains me to know that I could have helped her if only I didn’t leave her, desert her when she was obviously crying out for me to see her, see her pain. I can do nothing but cry with her, to morn the loss of her baby and all her innocence in the process. She has lived such a hard life and I never knew, I was supposed to be her best friend and I never bothered to look beyond the surface to really see that all along she wanted me to know these things, but was too afraid to tell me…afraid I would leave her. Ultimately though it didn’t matter because I left anyway, I was selfish and self-centered. I claim to have loved her but I never really saw her. I wrap my arms around her tightly making a silent promise that from this point on I would never leave her and I would always be there for her, whether we’re together or not I couldn’t…no I wouldn’t ever let anyone hurt her that way again.
I didn’t know how to calm her down, her choking sobs consumed the room…consumed my heart it tore into my soul and left a wound so deep that I will never remember what it was like before it was placed there…placed there by her sadness and pain. So I did the only thing I could…I told her my feelings hoping that they would help heal some of her pain.
“Liz I was so scared that you would never wake up, that I would never get to talk to you again or see you again. I thought that if you didn’t make it that I wouldn’t be able to survive. When I got that phone call from the hospital I didn’t know what to think, I didn’t know if you were okay or not. But when I got there and I saw you lying there, bruised and broken I just lost it…I didn’t know what was wrong because I was talking to you but you weren’t moving, you didn’t say a word. I was terrified I felt like my heart was lying on that bed and I didn’t know how to fix it…to fix you. You needed me Liz, and I left you I wanted to just die right there, because if you didn’t make it that’s what would have happened to me…I know then and I know now I can’t live without Liz. I’m sorry I didn’t love you better and I’m sorry I didn’t protect you but I promise you this Liz, no matter what happens from now on, I’m never leaving you. But that’s not my choice, it’s yours to make, so when…if you should decide you don’t want me to be a part of your life, I’ll walk away Liz. Not because I want to but because you want me to, I don’t want you holding onto the past because of me, so if you need…” She turned around to face me and places her small hand on my cheek wiping away my tears.
“God no Max! I need you like I need air to breathe, please don’t ever think that I don’t want or need you, because I do. You are what kept me going all those years Max, you…not the Max that I conjured up in my mind but…You Max. I know you just like deep down I know that you know me, and we hurt each other but I’m over that I don’t want to dwell on it, I just…I want to be with you Max…because…because…” I need to hear her say it; I need to feel it radiate through every inch of my body and soul.
“I love you Max, I love you more than you could ever imagine…I’ve always loved you.”
I close my eyes and breathe for the first time in my life I feel alive really alive, to hear the person I have loved for so long admit her feelings aloud just fills me with so much happiness, so without any hesitation on her or my part I reach out and pull her to my lips. We share kisses filled with promises to be kept and life to be lived…together.
TBC…
Last edited by Behrsgirl77 on Wed Sep 29, 2004 6:00 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Behrsgirl77
- Obsessed Roswellian
- Posts: 633
- Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2004 11:21 am
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A/N – Hi guys! I’m glad you all liked the last part…I can’t say the same will hold true for this one…but yeah…just read 
***This part does contain R-slight NC-17***
LittleHottie510
Jadeling
con angel
pookie76
frenchkiss70
OmegaRam1
Roswell_Freak
Earth2Mama - Thanks for your help!
I am a dreamer
roswells_hope_lily
tequathisy
linliz68
Dreamer06
jason's lover
g7silvers
roswellchick03
NewYorker18
Modelchick
BelieveInTrueLove
Smac
IzzyEvans2201_PuertoRico - Yeah! You made it chica!!
wearydreams2003
sweetbrowneyes
roswellluver
Ellie Adair
Lurkers
Chapter 38
Maria
So I’ve been reeling since Michael told me that he wanted to be with me, and that he still loved me. That came as a total shock! I didn’t think it was possible for him to still love me. I don’t know why he does but I can only pray that I don’t mess up my second chance.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes and that’s not to say that I won’t in the future. One thing is for sure....I know that I need not only Michael, but Liz and Max as well. We were so close at one point we did almost everything together. I know better now that even though we were close, we didn’t know much about one another. Max and Liz were denying their feelings for one another. I was denying Michael my feelings about my career and my life. Until it all spiraled out of control from there on. We all loved each other but we had no idea how to actually show that love…to be in love.
I can only hope that for not only my sake but for Liz’s that Max and her work things out. They belong together. I just hope they see it before they destroy one another again. As for Michael and I, well I’d have to say that I can’t wait to see him again. I never realized how much I truly needed him. When he called me today, I didn’t think we would be discussing anything serious...not yet anyway. But, that's Michael and if it was on his mind then he needed to talk about it.
He may be the type to not show his feelings in the best way, but when he wants you to listen he become quite articulate with his words. I love that about him. Most of the time you think he’s not paying attention or doesn’t give a damn about what’s going on. Then out of nowhere he says something that tells you; he was in the room or in the conversation the whole time.
I can’t say that I’m not nervous as hell to see him again, or Liz for that matter. I have no idea what to say to her. Everyone keeps telling me that she’s not mad at me. That she doesn’t resent me but I don’t know about that. I mean I should trust that both Max and Michael know Liz better than that, so maybe I shouldn’t worry too much about it.
Oh! Who am I kidding? I’m a complete basket case. Of course, I have to get on stage in a half an hour. I swear I cannot wait until I can just walk away from this all. I want a normal life. I want to be able to smile again and really mean it. I can only hope that being around the people that mean so much to me will help. Honestly right now I don’t know how much longer I can go without some kind of help. The therapist I’m seeing is about to admit me to the nearest hospital, can’t say that I blame him. It seems like for the past I don’t know year or so, my depression has kicked into overdrive. At least that’s what my therapist has stated to me.
I’m not so sure though. I know I’m still in here somewhere fighting to break free. I just have no idea if that time will ever come and, at the moment, I grow tired waiting for it to.
***********************************
Isabel
Tonight is the night Alex and I have to explain to Damian that we aren’t together anymore. I have been dreading this conversation for a few days now; if I’m honest I have been dreading it for quite a while. I honestly don’t know what we’re going to say to him. I just hope that he doesn’t take it too bad. I hope that he can understand.
What I really wish for the most? Is not having to tell him at all, but at this point its not a possibility. One day he’s going to notice something isn’t right and I don’t want him to be afraid to ask questions. In all reality, this is the only way.
“Isabel! Isabel come here quick!” What the hell is going on? My mother is screaming at me but the sound of her voice…she’s afraid? In a completely panicked state I run down the hallway and reach the top of the stairs…that’s where I see him.
His body is lifeless and I can’t hear anything but the pounding in my chest. I run down the stairs just as the back door slams and Alex comes running in.
“NO!” Alex kneels before our son, who is still not moving…Oh God! Is he breathing? I can’t tell. I reach Alex’s side and I want to reach out to my baby but I shouldn’t move him…I want to hold him but I know I can’t.
“Alex…please what’s wrong with him?” I start crying uncontrollably I think I can feel my heart breaking.
“Damian?! Damian, it’s daddy. Can you hear me?” Alex is trying to hold back his tears; my mother is in a catatonic type of state. She is kneeling on the opposite side of him, “Mom, what happened? Did he fall? What?!” I was frantic at this point. When my mom didn’t answer, I got up and ran into the kitchen to call an ambulance.
“He fell Isabel down t-the stairs. I was telling him not to play on them and he just lost his footing and fell.” My mother was crying. I went to her side and started to shake her. She snapped out of her state to answer me.
“How far!” I yelled.
“Half way Isabel, I tried to run and catch him but I was too late. I’m sorry…I’m so…”
“Mom! It’s not your fault it was an accident. I don’t know what to do…he’s not responding…I…” My sobs engulf me and my mother wrapped her arms around me. Then, I turn when I hear my angel’s voice.
“D-daddy?”
“Oh thank god! Damian, yes it’s daddy.” Alex is smoothing his hair down. I know he wants to hold him so bad, but we can’t risk moving him right now. I’m at their side instantaneously and I grab Damian’s hand. He looks at me with tears in his eyes.
“M-mommy…it hurts.” His tears spill forth and I lean in over him placing a kiss on his forehead whispering comforting things to him. I need him to calm down. Seconds later the front door is being opened by my mother and the paramedics are looking him over.
I turn to Alex who has been silent for a while, just watching everything they do to our son. He’s terrified. I’ve never seen Alex like this before, he’s just barely holding on. I reach for his hand and he quickly grabs hold of it like it’s his lifeline.
“I-Isabel…I…”
“I know Alex…I know.” He turns quickly and embraces me, holding me tightly. I can’t help the fresh tears the stream down my face.
After checking him over they put my baby in the ambulance and allow Alex and I to ride with him. My mom follows right after she calls my father telling him to meet us at the hospital.
Sitting in the ambulance with my family I realize how selfish I was, and how important these two people are in my life. How I can’t live without them. How I don’t want to live without Alex. I will not let him go, even if I have to beg him I will! He’s that important to me and I can’t loose him.
Alex reaches out a shaky hand to me and I grab hold of it, making a silent prayer that he won’t let me go…ever.
***********************************
Liz
After our professions of love, Max and I now lay side by side in each other’s arms. He fell asleep about a half hour ago, and I couldn’t be any happier to just watch him. To just enjoy the feeling of being held in his arms again.
Even though I couldn’t be happier, I still don’t know where we go from here. He still has a girlfriend and I don’t know what he’s going to do about it. I sigh heavily and roll over onto my back as all these thoughts barge in on my happiness. I just want to be happy if only for a little while. We have to go back to the real world outside of this hotel room and that scares the hell out of me.
“Hey beautiful.” Max’s scruffy voice breaks me out of my thoughts and I turn to look at him. I roll over so that half my body is on top of his. My head resting on his chest. He quickly wraps his arms around me. “Hi, did you enjoy your sleep?” I ask him teasingly. He lifts his head slightly to place a light kiss on my lips.
“Yeah sorry about that. I guess I was more tired then I thought.” He says sheepishly.
“It’s okay. You’re a growing boy after all and you need your rest.”
“Ha ha Liz, are we going to start this again? You know you’ll loose.” He shifts his body and pulls me to lie on top of him fully.
“Only because you cheat Evans.” I reply quickly before he covers my mouth with his soft lips. He caresses my lips gently over and over again. He raises one hand and runs it through my hair. He has long since pulled out my hair tie and runs the other hand down my back pressing me gently into his hard body. I sigh into his mouth at the contact. My body is on fire right now and I know we shouldn’t be entering this territory, but I can’t stop myself. Our feelings greatly out weigh the consequences at this point.
“Liz, God! You feel so good…hmm.” Max breaks away from our kiss and I take that opportunity to trail kisses from his chin down to his neck then back up to the soft skin on his ears to nibble and suck lightly. He’s running his hands up and down my body. Trying to touch me everywhere, trying to make us one. I don’t want him to stop either.
I pull away just enough for him to begin his exploration of my body. He kisses my lips then drags his tongue down my neck and places his hands on my hips to pull me up higher against him. Then he slides his hands up the back of my shirt all the while kissing and sucking my neck.
“Maax…ah…yes…hmm.” I moan aloud, in a breathy whisper. Which I know drives him crazy! I forgot what it was like to be with him caught up in the moment. The adrenaline rush I feel when our breathing is erratic and I feel like if he stops touching me I’ll just die; and if he continues I will explode.
He groans aloud when he hears me say his name. He flips us over so he’s on top of me, pressing me firmly against the mattress. He inundates my body with hot wet kisses trailing down my body. He reaches the valley between my breasts and without a second thought reaches for the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head. I lay before him bare and exposed.
It is so erotic to have him just stare at me, but I want to see him and I look him right in the eyes and he knows what I want. He pulls back onto his knees and pulls off his shirt; I quickly rise up and attach my lips to one of his hardened nipples. He cups the back of my head and presses me closer to him.
“Liz…yes…” I have to smile at how his body reacts to my touches, my kisses. I switch off to attack his other nipple. He runs his hands down my bare back and reaches the waist of my shorts. Meanwhile, I continue to lick and nibble him and begin trailing my tongue up his chest until I reach his lips.
He responds instantly pulling my body flush with his, we both moan into one another’s mouths and I can feel his erection pressing into my stomach. Our kisses grow more demanding.
“God Liz I want you so bad,” he professes. Without another thought, I lay back and take his hand and press it against my aching center.
“I’m yours Max…take me,” I say almost breathlessly. I want him just as much as he wants me right now. I have to have him. He leans over me and places a feather light kiss on my lips; he then hooks his fingers into the waistband of my shorts and pulls them straight down my legs taking my panties with him. He stands up from the bed and pulls down his pants and boxers in one swift moment.
Standing before me, I take a moment to drink in the sight of his body. His muscles are so defined. I trail my eyes from his broad shoulders, down his sculpted sun kissed chest. My eyes land on his impressive manhood straining for release, down his strong legs…at that moment I chance a look into his eyes.
The fire that is burning inside of me can be seen through his eyes. He is the only person that can do that, devour me with one look. I feel myself grow wetter by second and so I lay back. He moves forward onto the bed, then spreads my thighs with a gentle caress.
“You are so beautiful Liz…so…beautiful,” he says while placing soft tiny kisses on my belly. Then he slides his fingers between my slick lips, parting them and leans his head down to taste me.
“Oh! Yes Max! Ah…yes!” I arch my back off the bed at the first touch of his lips against my clitoris. He licks and sucks until I’m about to reach my final release.
I never make it though because as usual we are interrupted by the shrill of his cell phone. One of these days I’m going to throw it out the window while in a fast moving vehicle.
I want to scream right now!
***********************************
Max
I can’t believe this is happening! I never thought I would be able to be with Liz let alone touch her in places and in ways that I know no one else can make her feel. She is all I ever wanted, just thinking about being with her intimately is driving me insane right now. She allows me to do what I want with her body and it fills me with a sense of power…I know she’s mine. And I don’t mean that in the possessive way, it’s just a factual statement. She’s mine and I’m hers.
I attach my lips to her aching center and begin to suck and lick her repeatedly. I want her so bad right now, it’s taking all of my strength not to slam my body into hers over and over again until she screams my name. She’s gripping the bed sheets! She’s so close I can feel her tense. Just as she’s about to let go…
The fucking phone rings! I swear somebody up there doesn’t like me very much! I try to ignore it as does she but it’s useless; the mood is broken. I roll off the bed and reach for my cell phone located on the nightstand.
“What?!” I growl into the phone. This shit is pissing me off already! Note to self -- throw away the fucking cell phone or learn to turn it the fuck off!
“Hi baby!” Fuck me!
TBC…Try not to throw things at the screen okay?! lol!! See you SATURDAY...FYI: For those of you reading Borrowed Heaven I will update that fic on Mondays
***This part does contain R-slight NC-17***
LittleHottie510
Jadeling
con angel
pookie76
frenchkiss70
OmegaRam1
Roswell_Freak
Earth2Mama - Thanks for your help!
I am a dreamer
roswells_hope_lily
tequathisy
linliz68
Dreamer06
jason's lover
g7silvers
roswellchick03
NewYorker18
Modelchick
BelieveInTrueLove
Smac
IzzyEvans2201_PuertoRico - Yeah! You made it chica!!
wearydreams2003
sweetbrowneyes
roswellluver
Ellie Adair
Lurkers
Chapter 38
Maria
So I’ve been reeling since Michael told me that he wanted to be with me, and that he still loved me. That came as a total shock! I didn’t think it was possible for him to still love me. I don’t know why he does but I can only pray that I don’t mess up my second chance.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes and that’s not to say that I won’t in the future. One thing is for sure....I know that I need not only Michael, but Liz and Max as well. We were so close at one point we did almost everything together. I know better now that even though we were close, we didn’t know much about one another. Max and Liz were denying their feelings for one another. I was denying Michael my feelings about my career and my life. Until it all spiraled out of control from there on. We all loved each other but we had no idea how to actually show that love…to be in love.
I can only hope that for not only my sake but for Liz’s that Max and her work things out. They belong together. I just hope they see it before they destroy one another again. As for Michael and I, well I’d have to say that I can’t wait to see him again. I never realized how much I truly needed him. When he called me today, I didn’t think we would be discussing anything serious...not yet anyway. But, that's Michael and if it was on his mind then he needed to talk about it.
He may be the type to not show his feelings in the best way, but when he wants you to listen he become quite articulate with his words. I love that about him. Most of the time you think he’s not paying attention or doesn’t give a damn about what’s going on. Then out of nowhere he says something that tells you; he was in the room or in the conversation the whole time.
I can’t say that I’m not nervous as hell to see him again, or Liz for that matter. I have no idea what to say to her. Everyone keeps telling me that she’s not mad at me. That she doesn’t resent me but I don’t know about that. I mean I should trust that both Max and Michael know Liz better than that, so maybe I shouldn’t worry too much about it.
Oh! Who am I kidding? I’m a complete basket case. Of course, I have to get on stage in a half an hour. I swear I cannot wait until I can just walk away from this all. I want a normal life. I want to be able to smile again and really mean it. I can only hope that being around the people that mean so much to me will help. Honestly right now I don’t know how much longer I can go without some kind of help. The therapist I’m seeing is about to admit me to the nearest hospital, can’t say that I blame him. It seems like for the past I don’t know year or so, my depression has kicked into overdrive. At least that’s what my therapist has stated to me.
I’m not so sure though. I know I’m still in here somewhere fighting to break free. I just have no idea if that time will ever come and, at the moment, I grow tired waiting for it to.
***********************************
Isabel
Tonight is the night Alex and I have to explain to Damian that we aren’t together anymore. I have been dreading this conversation for a few days now; if I’m honest I have been dreading it for quite a while. I honestly don’t know what we’re going to say to him. I just hope that he doesn’t take it too bad. I hope that he can understand.
What I really wish for the most? Is not having to tell him at all, but at this point its not a possibility. One day he’s going to notice something isn’t right and I don’t want him to be afraid to ask questions. In all reality, this is the only way.
“Isabel! Isabel come here quick!” What the hell is going on? My mother is screaming at me but the sound of her voice…she’s afraid? In a completely panicked state I run down the hallway and reach the top of the stairs…that’s where I see him.
His body is lifeless and I can’t hear anything but the pounding in my chest. I run down the stairs just as the back door slams and Alex comes running in.
“NO!” Alex kneels before our son, who is still not moving…Oh God! Is he breathing? I can’t tell. I reach Alex’s side and I want to reach out to my baby but I shouldn’t move him…I want to hold him but I know I can’t.
“Alex…please what’s wrong with him?” I start crying uncontrollably I think I can feel my heart breaking.
“Damian?! Damian, it’s daddy. Can you hear me?” Alex is trying to hold back his tears; my mother is in a catatonic type of state. She is kneeling on the opposite side of him, “Mom, what happened? Did he fall? What?!” I was frantic at this point. When my mom didn’t answer, I got up and ran into the kitchen to call an ambulance.
“He fell Isabel down t-the stairs. I was telling him not to play on them and he just lost his footing and fell.” My mother was crying. I went to her side and started to shake her. She snapped out of her state to answer me.
“How far!” I yelled.
“Half way Isabel, I tried to run and catch him but I was too late. I’m sorry…I’m so…”
“Mom! It’s not your fault it was an accident. I don’t know what to do…he’s not responding…I…” My sobs engulf me and my mother wrapped her arms around me. Then, I turn when I hear my angel’s voice.
“D-daddy?”
“Oh thank god! Damian, yes it’s daddy.” Alex is smoothing his hair down. I know he wants to hold him so bad, but we can’t risk moving him right now. I’m at their side instantaneously and I grab Damian’s hand. He looks at me with tears in his eyes.
“M-mommy…it hurts.” His tears spill forth and I lean in over him placing a kiss on his forehead whispering comforting things to him. I need him to calm down. Seconds later the front door is being opened by my mother and the paramedics are looking him over.
I turn to Alex who has been silent for a while, just watching everything they do to our son. He’s terrified. I’ve never seen Alex like this before, he’s just barely holding on. I reach for his hand and he quickly grabs hold of it like it’s his lifeline.
“I-Isabel…I…”
“I know Alex…I know.” He turns quickly and embraces me, holding me tightly. I can’t help the fresh tears the stream down my face.
After checking him over they put my baby in the ambulance and allow Alex and I to ride with him. My mom follows right after she calls my father telling him to meet us at the hospital.
Sitting in the ambulance with my family I realize how selfish I was, and how important these two people are in my life. How I can’t live without them. How I don’t want to live without Alex. I will not let him go, even if I have to beg him I will! He’s that important to me and I can’t loose him.
Alex reaches out a shaky hand to me and I grab hold of it, making a silent prayer that he won’t let me go…ever.
***********************************
Liz
After our professions of love, Max and I now lay side by side in each other’s arms. He fell asleep about a half hour ago, and I couldn’t be any happier to just watch him. To just enjoy the feeling of being held in his arms again.
Even though I couldn’t be happier, I still don’t know where we go from here. He still has a girlfriend and I don’t know what he’s going to do about it. I sigh heavily and roll over onto my back as all these thoughts barge in on my happiness. I just want to be happy if only for a little while. We have to go back to the real world outside of this hotel room and that scares the hell out of me.
“Hey beautiful.” Max’s scruffy voice breaks me out of my thoughts and I turn to look at him. I roll over so that half my body is on top of his. My head resting on his chest. He quickly wraps his arms around me. “Hi, did you enjoy your sleep?” I ask him teasingly. He lifts his head slightly to place a light kiss on my lips.
“Yeah sorry about that. I guess I was more tired then I thought.” He says sheepishly.
“It’s okay. You’re a growing boy after all and you need your rest.”
“Ha ha Liz, are we going to start this again? You know you’ll loose.” He shifts his body and pulls me to lie on top of him fully.
“Only because you cheat Evans.” I reply quickly before he covers my mouth with his soft lips. He caresses my lips gently over and over again. He raises one hand and runs it through my hair. He has long since pulled out my hair tie and runs the other hand down my back pressing me gently into his hard body. I sigh into his mouth at the contact. My body is on fire right now and I know we shouldn’t be entering this territory, but I can’t stop myself. Our feelings greatly out weigh the consequences at this point.
“Liz, God! You feel so good…hmm.” Max breaks away from our kiss and I take that opportunity to trail kisses from his chin down to his neck then back up to the soft skin on his ears to nibble and suck lightly. He’s running his hands up and down my body. Trying to touch me everywhere, trying to make us one. I don’t want him to stop either.
I pull away just enough for him to begin his exploration of my body. He kisses my lips then drags his tongue down my neck and places his hands on my hips to pull me up higher against him. Then he slides his hands up the back of my shirt all the while kissing and sucking my neck.
“Maax…ah…yes…hmm.” I moan aloud, in a breathy whisper. Which I know drives him crazy! I forgot what it was like to be with him caught up in the moment. The adrenaline rush I feel when our breathing is erratic and I feel like if he stops touching me I’ll just die; and if he continues I will explode.
He groans aloud when he hears me say his name. He flips us over so he’s on top of me, pressing me firmly against the mattress. He inundates my body with hot wet kisses trailing down my body. He reaches the valley between my breasts and without a second thought reaches for the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head. I lay before him bare and exposed.
It is so erotic to have him just stare at me, but I want to see him and I look him right in the eyes and he knows what I want. He pulls back onto his knees and pulls off his shirt; I quickly rise up and attach my lips to one of his hardened nipples. He cups the back of my head and presses me closer to him.
“Liz…yes…” I have to smile at how his body reacts to my touches, my kisses. I switch off to attack his other nipple. He runs his hands down my bare back and reaches the waist of my shorts. Meanwhile, I continue to lick and nibble him and begin trailing my tongue up his chest until I reach his lips.
He responds instantly pulling my body flush with his, we both moan into one another’s mouths and I can feel his erection pressing into my stomach. Our kisses grow more demanding.
“God Liz I want you so bad,” he professes. Without another thought, I lay back and take his hand and press it against my aching center.
“I’m yours Max…take me,” I say almost breathlessly. I want him just as much as he wants me right now. I have to have him. He leans over me and places a feather light kiss on my lips; he then hooks his fingers into the waistband of my shorts and pulls them straight down my legs taking my panties with him. He stands up from the bed and pulls down his pants and boxers in one swift moment.
Standing before me, I take a moment to drink in the sight of his body. His muscles are so defined. I trail my eyes from his broad shoulders, down his sculpted sun kissed chest. My eyes land on his impressive manhood straining for release, down his strong legs…at that moment I chance a look into his eyes.
The fire that is burning inside of me can be seen through his eyes. He is the only person that can do that, devour me with one look. I feel myself grow wetter by second and so I lay back. He moves forward onto the bed, then spreads my thighs with a gentle caress.
“You are so beautiful Liz…so…beautiful,” he says while placing soft tiny kisses on my belly. Then he slides his fingers between my slick lips, parting them and leans his head down to taste me.
“Oh! Yes Max! Ah…yes!” I arch my back off the bed at the first touch of his lips against my clitoris. He licks and sucks until I’m about to reach my final release.
I never make it though because as usual we are interrupted by the shrill of his cell phone. One of these days I’m going to throw it out the window while in a fast moving vehicle.
I want to scream right now!
***********************************
Max
I can’t believe this is happening! I never thought I would be able to be with Liz let alone touch her in places and in ways that I know no one else can make her feel. She is all I ever wanted, just thinking about being with her intimately is driving me insane right now. She allows me to do what I want with her body and it fills me with a sense of power…I know she’s mine. And I don’t mean that in the possessive way, it’s just a factual statement. She’s mine and I’m hers.
I attach my lips to her aching center and begin to suck and lick her repeatedly. I want her so bad right now, it’s taking all of my strength not to slam my body into hers over and over again until she screams my name. She’s gripping the bed sheets! She’s so close I can feel her tense. Just as she’s about to let go…
The fucking phone rings! I swear somebody up there doesn’t like me very much! I try to ignore it as does she but it’s useless; the mood is broken. I roll off the bed and reach for my cell phone located on the nightstand.
“What?!” I growl into the phone. This shit is pissing me off already! Note to self -- throw away the fucking cell phone or learn to turn it the fuck off!
“Hi baby!” Fuck me!
TBC…Try not to throw things at the screen okay?! lol!! See you SATURDAY...FYI: For those of you reading Borrowed Heaven I will update that fic on Mondays
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Behrsgirl77
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A/N Alright looks like we are back and running. So I'm re-posting Chapter 39 and posting Chapter 40. Thanks to LittleHottie510 for the beta work! Love you Girl!!
Chapter 39
Liz
So it was Max’s girlfriend on the phone. I was about to have sex with her boyfriend, the irony of the situation. Of course she would be the one to call right at that moment, it’s like she knew Max and I were experiencing some form of pleasure and she just had to fuck it up!
God! I never met this bitch but right now, I want to fucking kill her! By the sound of Max’s tone when he answered the phone I could tell not so nice thoughts were swarming around in his head.
Right now he’s sitting on the bed next to me, pretending to care about what she’s saying and to be honest at that moment I realize, what the hell am I doing? I might love Max and he might love me but he has a girlfriend. And no matter how I feel about her, I can’t do that; I can’t have him be a cheater because of me. I quickly wrap the comforter around my body and rise from the bed to pick up my discarded clothing.
I feel low…really low. If I were in her position I wouldn’t want some girl who knew about me sleeping with my boyfriend. It’s not right, and I know Max would never cheat, which I why I don’t want him to start now. When…if he breaks it off with her then we can be together but not before then.
“I know, I said I was sorry but I’ve been busy and I didn’t have time. I’ll be home tomorrow and Dari? We need to talk.” I catch part of his conversation and I feel really bad for putting him in this position. I quickly put my clothes back on and run an unsteady hand through my disheveled hair. I need to get to my room quickly.
I make my way to the door, quickly telling Max that I’m leaving and he reaches out a hand to me, stopping my motions and shakes his head to me ‘no’. I mouth to him ‘sorry’ and walk out leaving him to his conversation.
I get to my room and realize that it only took about one hour for the outside world to sneak its way back into our lives. I close the door once I’m safely inside the room and before I know it tears begin to blur my vision. I slide down the door onto the floor and breakdown in renewed sobs asking the question over and over, “why does it have to be so hard with Max?”
***********************************
Isabel
“Alex is he going to be okay?” Alex just finished talking to the doctors and taking Damian for his tests. I wanted to go but he thought it was better that I stay with my parents, so that I don’t scare Damian. He was right, I would have cried and asked a thousand questions, probably putting him into a panicked state and he didn’t need that right now, he needed to let the doctors check on him.
“He’s going to be fine, he has a mild concussion. Other than that everything else checked out. He has to stay here overnight though to be sure, but then he can go home with us tomorrow.” He smiles at me and places a soft kiss on my forehead before engulfing me in a tight hug.
“Thank god! I…I was so scared that we were going to loose him Alex…I felt like I was going to die.”
“Shh, I know Iz, I know.” I cry into Alex’s chest I wouldn’t have been able to make it through if she wasn’t there to keep me sane.
“I love you Alex, I know I hurt you and I know you will probably never forgive me, but I want to try Alex…I need to try and make it up to you…to Damian…for our family. Please Alex, I know I don’t deserve it and I know no matter how many times I say I’m sorry it won’t be good enough, but I’m begging you to let me try.” I needed to say that to him right now, I needed him to just here me and know that I really mean it when I said it.
He pulls me away and looks down into my face, wiping away my tears, like he always does, and what he says next causes renewed tears to spring forth.
“I love you Isabel, and I wish sometimes that I didn’t, and I’m not saying that to hurt you, it’s just that you and Damian mean the world to me, I don’t know how to let you go and I don’t know if I’m making the right decision or not but…I want to give you another chance.”
“Thank y..”
“No! Isabel don’t thank me…prove to me I’m not making a bad decision, prove to me that I’m that important to you because that’s what I need.”
I understand what he wants and I have every intention of proving I deserve his love and his final chance. I pull myself together and wipe my remaining tears.
“Right okay, can we go see him?”
“Yes, we can Iz.”
“Mom?” My parents are sitting behind us, after we got the news that Damian was okay they gave Alex and I the privacy we needed.
“Yes honey?” She rises from the chair with my father attached to her side for support.
“Can you please call Max and Michael just tell them what happened and that Damian is okay?”
“Yes of course, I’ll be right back.” She turns and leaves with my father to make a couple of phone calls. While Alex and I walk down the corridor hand in hand to see our son.
***********************************
Max
I finish my exasperating conversation with Dari, and she’s being so cryptic with me right now. It’s pissing me off. I swear she officially has worse timing than Michael thus far.
I know what would have happened between Liz and I if my phone hadn’t rung. At the time I was so caught up in the moment I didn’t realize what it would all mean. Liz and I might love each other but we are not together, but most importantly I have a girlfriend.
Despite the fact that I only want to be with Liz, I can’t do that to Dariana. She and I are still technically together and I just can’t cheat on her. This is not to say that if Liz and I had continued and finished what we started, that I would have regretted it, because not one part of my soul would have allowed that to happen. I love her and I need her in my life, Liz is the only person for me.
When she got dressed and left the room, I felt like a heel. I should have just told Dariana over the phone that we needed to end things, but I didn’t. I couldn’t just break up with her over the phone, she has done nothing wrong to me, she has been there for me and I owe her that much to be a man and tell her to her face. Rest assured that will happen the second I get back home.
I run into the bathroom and rinse my mouth and face; I quickly dress and grab my room key. I have to talk to Liz, but not before that fucking cell phone rings again!
I swear if this is Dari, or Michael for that matter I’m going to throw this phone against the wall and smile when it breaks into a thousand pieces. I flip open the phone, and I am now realizing that every time I answer the phone I never look to see who it is…I just answer. God! I’m so oblivious sometimes…okay most times, but that is beside the point.
I don’t recognize the number, but it could be anyone so I answer.
“Hello?”
“Max honey it’s mom.”
“Mom, hi…what’s wrong?” I can here it in her voice, not again I think to myself, what is it now?
“It’s Damian, he...f-fell down the stairs and…he….” Oh God no!
“Is he okay? I mean…what happened to him?” She’s silent and I can hear her crying, then I hear the distinct sound of my father’s voice. I just need to hear someone tell me he’s okay.
“Dad!”
“Maxwell he’s okay…he’s okay don’t worry. He fell down the stairs in the living room and he was unconscious a few minutes, and we…we didn’t know what was wrong with him…but he’s okay I assure you.” My father’s voice was enough to calm me down, but I feel helpless once again, I want to be there, but I can’t and I hate it.
“Are you sure he’s okay? Do you need me to come back?” I will if they feel it’s necessary.
“No! Max he’s okay, Isabel and Alex are with him now but the doctors said he’s fine, just a mild concussion. We just wanted to call you and let you know what’s going on and I still have to call Michael.” My dad seemed pretty reassured by what the doctors said, which helps me immensely I know that if my dad thinks he’s okay, then so do I.
“Okay dad but call me if anything happens.”
“Yes of course son. Now how is Liz?” Good question, I’m about to find out in a minute. I can’t imagine she’s doing well at all.
“She’s good dad, she’s next door in her room I’m going to go check on her as soon as we’re done. Tell everyone I said hello and tell Damian that I love him.”
“I will son, take care and call us as soon as you get home.”
“Will do dad, bye.”
After our conversation I make my way next door to Liz’s room. She opens the door and steps back to let me in.
“Hey.” I say to her because honestly right now, I can tell she was crying and I know that no matter what I say it probably isn’t going to help her. She crosses the room quickly and sits on the edge of the bed.
“So…” She’s not looking at me and I think that hurts more than any words she could say.
“Liz, look at me.” I cross the room and kneel before her and lift a hand to her chin to tilt her head towards me. I can see her puffy eyes and her cute little red nose. Even all distraught she looks so beautiful to me. I don’t think there could ever be a time where she doesn’t look amazing to me.
“What Max? I’m tired and we need to get going early so you can get back home to your girlfriend.” She says sarcastically and I can’t say that it doesn’t hurt. She still doubts my feelings and I wish I could make her understand that I want her, no one else.
“Liz, don’t be mad. I want to be with you, but I couldn’t just tell her over the phone it wasn’t right, I owe her more than that Liz, can you understand that?” She looks into my eyes and asks,
“Do you love her?”
“No! Liz I love you…only you.” I tell her honestly and it feels so good to be able to voice my feelings to her after all this time.
“Are you sure? You’re not denying it and…and when we get back you’ll see her and question what you’re doing with me?” She asks me sadly.
“God! Liz, did you even listen to me? I love you; I want to be with you.”
“Are you sure Max, I’m used and…” The tears slip from the corners of her eyes, why does she insist on putting herself down?
“What? Liz what are you talking about?” She moves me to the side and rises from the bed to walk over next to the window. She wraps her arms around herself as if she were fighting off a chill. I don’t know what to say to her right now, I’ve tried not to think about it. I know it’s not even right for me to have thought about Liz sleeping with another guy, but it bothers me. Her renewed sobs break me from my thoughts.
“M-max I s-slept w-with a s-stranger a-and I…I d-don’t even remember it. I got p-pregnant by some r-random guy and I d-don’t even know h-his name o-or w-what he l-looks like. I’m a…a slut.” I’m by her side in an instant; I reach out my hands and turn her around to face me.
“No you’re not! Don’t ever say that! Ever! Liz, you made a mistake…everyone does stop punishing yourself.” She looks up at me and she has no idea how much she’s breaking my heart right now.
“You d-don’t c-care? T-that I got d-drunk and hand s-sex with s-some g-guy in…in his c-car?” I try and catch every tear that falls across her flawless features. I know how I felt about this a few minutes ago, but seeing the pain she carries inside because of it, right now if she slept with ten guys I could care less, and the reason that I could do that is because I know that she unequivocally loves me. So I tell her.
“I do Max…I love you more than any words could ever say. I don’t know what I did to deserve you in my life but…” I frame her face in my hands her crying subsiding to a few hiccups here and there.
“No Liz, I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I messed up so bad for years…years and I just want a chance to make it up to you. Will you Liz? Will you let me make up for all the tears, all the pain and just love you?” I ask her through my own blurred vision. It’s like now that I have confessed my love for her I can’t wait another second to reassure her and myself that this is real…that this is forever.
“Yes Max, but only if you’ll let me make up for everything and love you.”
Not another word is said between us after that declaration. I pick her up and deposit her on the bed and lay beside her. I place a soft kiss on her lips, which she returns and we fall asleep in each other arms.
TBC…ON NEXT POST
Chapter 39
Liz
So it was Max’s girlfriend on the phone. I was about to have sex with her boyfriend, the irony of the situation. Of course she would be the one to call right at that moment, it’s like she knew Max and I were experiencing some form of pleasure and she just had to fuck it up!
God! I never met this bitch but right now, I want to fucking kill her! By the sound of Max’s tone when he answered the phone I could tell not so nice thoughts were swarming around in his head.
Right now he’s sitting on the bed next to me, pretending to care about what she’s saying and to be honest at that moment I realize, what the hell am I doing? I might love Max and he might love me but he has a girlfriend. And no matter how I feel about her, I can’t do that; I can’t have him be a cheater because of me. I quickly wrap the comforter around my body and rise from the bed to pick up my discarded clothing.
I feel low…really low. If I were in her position I wouldn’t want some girl who knew about me sleeping with my boyfriend. It’s not right, and I know Max would never cheat, which I why I don’t want him to start now. When…if he breaks it off with her then we can be together but not before then.
“I know, I said I was sorry but I’ve been busy and I didn’t have time. I’ll be home tomorrow and Dari? We need to talk.” I catch part of his conversation and I feel really bad for putting him in this position. I quickly put my clothes back on and run an unsteady hand through my disheveled hair. I need to get to my room quickly.
I make my way to the door, quickly telling Max that I’m leaving and he reaches out a hand to me, stopping my motions and shakes his head to me ‘no’. I mouth to him ‘sorry’ and walk out leaving him to his conversation.
I get to my room and realize that it only took about one hour for the outside world to sneak its way back into our lives. I close the door once I’m safely inside the room and before I know it tears begin to blur my vision. I slide down the door onto the floor and breakdown in renewed sobs asking the question over and over, “why does it have to be so hard with Max?”
***********************************
Isabel
“Alex is he going to be okay?” Alex just finished talking to the doctors and taking Damian for his tests. I wanted to go but he thought it was better that I stay with my parents, so that I don’t scare Damian. He was right, I would have cried and asked a thousand questions, probably putting him into a panicked state and he didn’t need that right now, he needed to let the doctors check on him.
“He’s going to be fine, he has a mild concussion. Other than that everything else checked out. He has to stay here overnight though to be sure, but then he can go home with us tomorrow.” He smiles at me and places a soft kiss on my forehead before engulfing me in a tight hug.
“Thank god! I…I was so scared that we were going to loose him Alex…I felt like I was going to die.”
“Shh, I know Iz, I know.” I cry into Alex’s chest I wouldn’t have been able to make it through if she wasn’t there to keep me sane.
“I love you Alex, I know I hurt you and I know you will probably never forgive me, but I want to try Alex…I need to try and make it up to you…to Damian…for our family. Please Alex, I know I don’t deserve it and I know no matter how many times I say I’m sorry it won’t be good enough, but I’m begging you to let me try.” I needed to say that to him right now, I needed him to just here me and know that I really mean it when I said it.
He pulls me away and looks down into my face, wiping away my tears, like he always does, and what he says next causes renewed tears to spring forth.
“I love you Isabel, and I wish sometimes that I didn’t, and I’m not saying that to hurt you, it’s just that you and Damian mean the world to me, I don’t know how to let you go and I don’t know if I’m making the right decision or not but…I want to give you another chance.”
“Thank y..”
“No! Isabel don’t thank me…prove to me I’m not making a bad decision, prove to me that I’m that important to you because that’s what I need.”
I understand what he wants and I have every intention of proving I deserve his love and his final chance. I pull myself together and wipe my remaining tears.
“Right okay, can we go see him?”
“Yes, we can Iz.”
“Mom?” My parents are sitting behind us, after we got the news that Damian was okay they gave Alex and I the privacy we needed.
“Yes honey?” She rises from the chair with my father attached to her side for support.
“Can you please call Max and Michael just tell them what happened and that Damian is okay?”
“Yes of course, I’ll be right back.” She turns and leaves with my father to make a couple of phone calls. While Alex and I walk down the corridor hand in hand to see our son.
***********************************
Max
I finish my exasperating conversation with Dari, and she’s being so cryptic with me right now. It’s pissing me off. I swear she officially has worse timing than Michael thus far.
I know what would have happened between Liz and I if my phone hadn’t rung. At the time I was so caught up in the moment I didn’t realize what it would all mean. Liz and I might love each other but we are not together, but most importantly I have a girlfriend.
Despite the fact that I only want to be with Liz, I can’t do that to Dariana. She and I are still technically together and I just can’t cheat on her. This is not to say that if Liz and I had continued and finished what we started, that I would have regretted it, because not one part of my soul would have allowed that to happen. I love her and I need her in my life, Liz is the only person for me.
When she got dressed and left the room, I felt like a heel. I should have just told Dariana over the phone that we needed to end things, but I didn’t. I couldn’t just break up with her over the phone, she has done nothing wrong to me, she has been there for me and I owe her that much to be a man and tell her to her face. Rest assured that will happen the second I get back home.
I run into the bathroom and rinse my mouth and face; I quickly dress and grab my room key. I have to talk to Liz, but not before that fucking cell phone rings again!
I swear if this is Dari, or Michael for that matter I’m going to throw this phone against the wall and smile when it breaks into a thousand pieces. I flip open the phone, and I am now realizing that every time I answer the phone I never look to see who it is…I just answer. God! I’m so oblivious sometimes…okay most times, but that is beside the point.
I don’t recognize the number, but it could be anyone so I answer.
“Hello?”
“Max honey it’s mom.”
“Mom, hi…what’s wrong?” I can here it in her voice, not again I think to myself, what is it now?
“It’s Damian, he...f-fell down the stairs and…he….” Oh God no!
“Is he okay? I mean…what happened to him?” She’s silent and I can hear her crying, then I hear the distinct sound of my father’s voice. I just need to hear someone tell me he’s okay.
“Dad!”
“Maxwell he’s okay…he’s okay don’t worry. He fell down the stairs in the living room and he was unconscious a few minutes, and we…we didn’t know what was wrong with him…but he’s okay I assure you.” My father’s voice was enough to calm me down, but I feel helpless once again, I want to be there, but I can’t and I hate it.
“Are you sure he’s okay? Do you need me to come back?” I will if they feel it’s necessary.
“No! Max he’s okay, Isabel and Alex are with him now but the doctors said he’s fine, just a mild concussion. We just wanted to call you and let you know what’s going on and I still have to call Michael.” My dad seemed pretty reassured by what the doctors said, which helps me immensely I know that if my dad thinks he’s okay, then so do I.
“Okay dad but call me if anything happens.”
“Yes of course son. Now how is Liz?” Good question, I’m about to find out in a minute. I can’t imagine she’s doing well at all.
“She’s good dad, she’s next door in her room I’m going to go check on her as soon as we’re done. Tell everyone I said hello and tell Damian that I love him.”
“I will son, take care and call us as soon as you get home.”
“Will do dad, bye.”
After our conversation I make my way next door to Liz’s room. She opens the door and steps back to let me in.
“Hey.” I say to her because honestly right now, I can tell she was crying and I know that no matter what I say it probably isn’t going to help her. She crosses the room quickly and sits on the edge of the bed.
“So…” She’s not looking at me and I think that hurts more than any words she could say.
“Liz, look at me.” I cross the room and kneel before her and lift a hand to her chin to tilt her head towards me. I can see her puffy eyes and her cute little red nose. Even all distraught she looks so beautiful to me. I don’t think there could ever be a time where she doesn’t look amazing to me.
“What Max? I’m tired and we need to get going early so you can get back home to your girlfriend.” She says sarcastically and I can’t say that it doesn’t hurt. She still doubts my feelings and I wish I could make her understand that I want her, no one else.
“Liz, don’t be mad. I want to be with you, but I couldn’t just tell her over the phone it wasn’t right, I owe her more than that Liz, can you understand that?” She looks into my eyes and asks,
“Do you love her?”
“No! Liz I love you…only you.” I tell her honestly and it feels so good to be able to voice my feelings to her after all this time.
“Are you sure? You’re not denying it and…and when we get back you’ll see her and question what you’re doing with me?” She asks me sadly.
“God! Liz, did you even listen to me? I love you; I want to be with you.”
“Are you sure Max, I’m used and…” The tears slip from the corners of her eyes, why does she insist on putting herself down?
“What? Liz what are you talking about?” She moves me to the side and rises from the bed to walk over next to the window. She wraps her arms around herself as if she were fighting off a chill. I don’t know what to say to her right now, I’ve tried not to think about it. I know it’s not even right for me to have thought about Liz sleeping with another guy, but it bothers me. Her renewed sobs break me from my thoughts.
“M-max I s-slept w-with a s-stranger a-and I…I d-don’t even remember it. I got p-pregnant by some r-random guy and I d-don’t even know h-his name o-or w-what he l-looks like. I’m a…a slut.” I’m by her side in an instant; I reach out my hands and turn her around to face me.
“No you’re not! Don’t ever say that! Ever! Liz, you made a mistake…everyone does stop punishing yourself.” She looks up at me and she has no idea how much she’s breaking my heart right now.
“You d-don’t c-care? T-that I got d-drunk and hand s-sex with s-some g-guy in…in his c-car?” I try and catch every tear that falls across her flawless features. I know how I felt about this a few minutes ago, but seeing the pain she carries inside because of it, right now if she slept with ten guys I could care less, and the reason that I could do that is because I know that she unequivocally loves me. So I tell her.
“I do Max…I love you more than any words could ever say. I don’t know what I did to deserve you in my life but…” I frame her face in my hands her crying subsiding to a few hiccups here and there.
“No Liz, I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I messed up so bad for years…years and I just want a chance to make it up to you. Will you Liz? Will you let me make up for all the tears, all the pain and just love you?” I ask her through my own blurred vision. It’s like now that I have confessed my love for her I can’t wait another second to reassure her and myself that this is real…that this is forever.
“Yes Max, but only if you’ll let me make up for everything and love you.”
Not another word is said between us after that declaration. I pick her up and deposit her on the bed and lay beside her. I place a soft kiss on her lips, which she returns and we fall asleep in each other arms.
TBC…ON NEXT POST