Roswell Fanatics

Part 40 – A few months later…
(April 9, 2010)

Liz sighed heavily as she had to move a heavy arm in order to get comfortable. She punched her pillow. And smushed her pillows with her fists. Then her hand hit cold. “Dean.” He made a noise in his throat. “Dean.” He breathed out through his nose and cracked an eye open. “I’m bleeding and it’s your fault.”

“Come again?” He forced himself to sit up.

“This.” She shoved her hand into his face. A trickle of blood forming. “Why is my hand bleeding?”

Dean sat up all the way and stared at her hand and then winced. “Oh shit. It’s a habit.” He pulled the knife from under the pillow. “Sorry.”

“You put a machete under my pillow?”

“This…” He held it up. “Is hardly a machete.”

“It’s a huge freaking knife, Dean.”

“This is a Bowie-styled silver blade. It’s the kind of knife you want nearby in case something ugly tries to crawl up your ass in your sleep.”

“So? I’m bleeding.”

“Just be glad it wasn’t the Nighthawk or the Strider. They have serrated blades.” Dean set the knife on the nightstand and got to his feet. He yanked his shirt off the floor and wrapped it around her hand. “It’s clean. It’s barely a paper cut.”

“It hurts.” She complained while he went in search of her first aid kit. “Why would you keep a knife under my pillow anyway? Bobby keeps all sorts of weird things here for protection. I keep the doors and windows salted.”

“Because some things are so old and powerful that salt doesn’t faze them.” He sat back down to dress her cut. He barely cut her an amused smirk when she tucked the sheet under her arms while he made quick work of cleaning, disinfecting and bandaging the thin cut. “Better?”

“Maybe.”

He watched her face. That expression. “What?”

“Where does Sam think you’re spending your time?”

“Where Sam always thinks I’m spending my time.”

“What I meant was… are there stories?” She raised an eyebrow. “Things I should be concerned about you sharing.”

“I can be a gentleman.” He protested.

“You’re not overcompensating and spilling too many details?” Liz watched his face carefully.

He only smiled. “Like he would put any of it together with you.” He expected the smack across the chest but she’d forgotten about her hand.

“Ah.” Liz bit her lip against the pain. “Rule. No knives in bed.”

“No kinks?”

She opened her mouth and then shut it. “No knives.”

“So, I can fluster you. Useful information.” He used the sheet to tug her closer as he aimed for her neck.

When his phone rang, he ignored it in favor of foreplay. Then her phone rang. Liz groaned but reached out to get it against Dean’s protests. “Hello?”

“Hey, did you see Dean around tonight? Bobby said he was at the bar but I can’t find him and no one knows where he went.”

“No, not tonight.” Liz shook her head and stilled Dean’s chafing of her leg. “Did something happen?”

“Um, well. If you see him before I do, let him know that I got a call from New York. I should probably go.”

“Okay. Is something wrong, Sam?”

Dean sat up when she said those words. He didn’t ask any questions. He hopped off the bed and began getting dressed.

“A friend. She might be in trouble and I think we should leave tonight but I need Dean. He’s been doing this a lot more lately. He just takes off in the middle of the night. He’s starting to worry me.”

“I’ll go hit up a few places. I’m sure he didn’t go far.” Liz promised. She hung up feeling guilty. Dean only nodded to her anguished face. “He said New York. Some friend of his is in trouble.”

“Yeah. Sam’s got a girl in port up there.” Dean shrugged. “I think she’s perfect for him but… whatever.”

Liz frowned at his choice of words and pulled a shirt over her head from the floor. “Is that what I am? A girl in this port?”

“Aw, man.” Dean sank into a chair to yank his boots on. “We’re not having this discussion, right now. If I know Sammy, he’s halfway out the door. I gotta catch him before he takes off in my car.”

They stared at each other in silence for a long while. Liz didn’t meet his eyes when she did finally speak. “Don’t do that to me. I’m saying that right now. I don’t know where we’re going but don’t do that.”

“I’d do anything for… you know… but not that.”

“You’re…” Liz started laughing.

“Oh, it’s funny. Yeah.”

“Meatloaf?” She dissolved into a deep bout of laughter. “Dean, go. We’ll talk later.” He gave her a grin but didn’t move from his seat. “Go save Sam’s girlfriend.”

“Yeah, okay.” He stood and pointed to the bed and then to her. “We’re gonna finish this.”

She nodded that she wasn’t overly upset about the truncation in both their discussion and their previous activities. “Yes. We will.”

--

Sam pressed the pedal down and still didn’t seem to be going fast enough. “She sounded really upset. She could barely put her words together.”

“Kind of like you, right now?” Dean asked as he flipped through his father’s journal. Poltergeist lore was so boring. It never got exciting until the actual hunt.

“You’re just mad cause you got dragged out of bed. I think Sarah’s life is more important than you getting laid.”

“Which is why I’m here right now. Chill out, dude.”

“Something’s not right.” Sam flicked his eyes to the rearview mirror, then to his brother. “It’s just… I don’t know. I feel like something’s really wrong about this. Something’s not right.”

--

Liz banged on Bobby’s door as hard as she could; she had nearly sunk to the ground before he answered. “Something’s not right.”

“Lillian?” He reached down and hauled her into his house.

“Something’s not right.” She repeated as she slumped over the table. It had started an hour after Dean had left. Her breathing had changed without reason or warning. Then her vision started to come in and out. There was no pain but it wouldn’t just come to her. It had taken all her strength to stumble over to Bobby’s. Then it suddenly became clear when he set a glass of water in front of her. Her vision narrowed on the water. The glass slid away from her a few inches but didn’t topple over the edge. Then her vision exploded and she fell to the floor.

Bobby watched her carefully as her body shook and her eyes darted from side to side. When she stopped, he put a bowl under her chin. “Lillian, what’s happening?”

“It’s a trap.” She whispered. She burst into tears. “He’s waiting. He found Sam’s weakness.”

“Who did?”

“Yellow eyes.” She gasped out before she passed out.

--

Dean sat up immediately when he heard the voice on the line. He listened carefully and then slid his eyes to his brother. “Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’ll be fine. I’m keeping her in the house tonight. I’m staying up doing all kinds of research but you know that we never find anything on him, Dean.”

“Yeah, I know. Sarah called us out on what sounded like a poltergeist. Maybe she’s the bait and she doesn’t even know it.” Dean cursed under his breath. “Look, this thing is not beyond employing other spirits and demons to do his dirty work.”

“I don’t know anything with that kind of control.”

“Bobby, sometimes it doesn’t even ask before a demon gets a task put before him. I know what it’s capable of but I don’t know how to kill it.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Your priority is to take care of Liz. She’s still unknown to the demon but I don’t know for how long. Somehow it’s going to find out that she’s tipping us off. As far as research… if there’s any lore on how any and I do mean any major demon was brought down…”

“I’ll see what I can find.”

“Okay. We’re still heading up but… we’ll keep in touch.” Dean snapped his phone shut.

“What happened to Liz?” Sam whispered. His brother wasn’t fond of most people but he knew that Liz was his pet. Fuel for the fire to keep hunting.

“After we took off, she went down. Major vision spell. Bobby was talking about all these freaky things happening while she was getting them. Glasses of water moving around, lights flickering, drawers opening and shutting, cabinet doors opening and banging shut. He thought he might have a poltergeist himself until he realized it was all her. She was seizing and I mean…”

“Is she okay?”

“Yeah. He’s got her with him. Sam…” Dean looked to his brother. “This is a trap. We can’t just barge in, half-cocked. We need to be careful.”

“A trap? Sarah wouldn’t…”

“No, but a badass demon would use her as bait.”

“What kind of demon?”

“THE demon, Sammy. Our demon.”

If there was any room between the floorboard and the gas pedal, it disappeared.

The next evening…
(April 10, 2010)

Sam hugged Sarah as soon as he got out of the car. She stood in front of her father’s auction house. She nodded to the front door. “I didn’t know what to do. It never comes out in the day and I can’t convince my father that anything is going on.”

“Are you okay?” Sam looked her over and noticed the bump in her hairline.

“It threw a Mark Twain collection at me.”

Dean shrugged. “So it was a book.”

“I deal in authentic, Dean. It was several books.” Sarah explained. “It’s unlocked but I won’t go in there. I can’t leave because my father is in there working.” She pulled a sheaf of papers from under her jacket. “These are all the new acquisitions since a few months before it started. I didn’t know how long since it’s been here. I tried going through the provenances but there were too many with shady histories.”

“It’s okay. We’re on it.” Sam nodded. “We’ll stick around out here until you can convince him to go home for the night. Then we’re going over to a hotel to do some research. Okay?”

“Yeah,” She nodded shakily.

--

Liz swallowed down yet another glass of water. She had to pee all the time but she felt so thirsty since the night before. She rushed around to her tables; her necklace was full of charms. Bobby hadn’t let her out of the house without promising to wear them all. She tried not to think about the remnants of her vision but every time she closed her eyes, she saw the yellow orbs so filled with hate and evil.

TBC

Part 41 – A few days later…
(April 13, 2010)

Dean picked up his head. He had passed out from the pain… which was still very much present but he had no clue how long he had been out. He took a breath that burned his lungs as he lifted his good arm to pull the iron poker from his shoulder. He could hear crying but he didn’t know who was making the noise. He let out a scream of pain when he yanked out the rod holding him in place. Then he fell to the ground. His vision was blurred but he could make out his brother’s prone form on the ground, Dad’s journal clutched in his hand.

Nausea washed over him as he struggled to his feet. Choking it back down, he stumbled forward to the other figure not far away. Her chest was heaving with sobs. She was crying. What was her name? His head felt like it was full of lead. “Sarah.” Right, that was her name.

She sobbed louder. Dean didn’t swing his head around. That would be painful. “Sammy.” No answer. “Sammy!”

“He’s out cold. I’ve been crying for him forever.” Sarah gasped out.

“I’m coming.” He tried to blink his eyes clear but his vision didn’t get much clearer. Maybe blood or dirt. When he knelt next to her, he swore. There was blood everywhere. “Oh, god.”

“I can’t move.” She whispered. “I’m cold.”

Dean took off his jacket and covered her body, then he found his phone. He dialed quickly, by feel rather than sight. He dealt with the operator while he tried to slow the bleeding but he knew he was close to passing out again. “Sarah. You still in there?”

“Is it gone?”

“Probably not. It’s never gone.” Dean swore again and looked to his brother. “Sammy!”

--

Liz found herself in Dr. Meyer’s examination room for the second time. The paper gown rustled against the paper sheet on the table. She nodded absently to the questions. “Bobby was the one who saw it happen.”

“He’s sure it was a seizure.”

“He’s sure. He says that I was twitching and my eyes were rolling around in my head. I don’t know if I’ve had them before. It turns out that the last time I was here wasn’t the last time I had one of those absence seizures. You know… I think you remember.”

“Yes, we had talked about the possibility of an absence seizure the last time you came in but all your neurology scans ran clean. We discounted that as a long term condition. Sometimes they just happen and never happen again.” Dr. Meyer folded her hands over the file in her lap and took a moment to gather her thoughts. “You’re not on any supplements or medications?”

“No. I haven’t been in a long time.”

“Okay. Let’s assume that the first set of… instances were absence seizures. This instance is not because of the twitching and eye rolling. Can I ask what was going on before the occurrence?”

“No pain, really. It was… more like a panic attack. I managed to walk from my cottage to Bobby’s and bang his door down before it hit me.”

“Lillian.” She took a breath and let it out slowly. “I promise you that this will not leave this room. I know what Marty’s hobbies are and I’m fairly certain that you do, too. Was this… related to that?”

Liz looked away, unsure how to proceed. She felt her eyes fill with tears. “The other times too.”

“It’s worsening?”

“Yes. I’ve had the pain before. The headaches on the other ones. When I learned about the blackouts, I got concerned. This last one was big. The vision I had was big. It’s not the only factor. I have… abilities that I keep under control, barely, and Bobby says they got away from me.”

“Can you tell me? I might not be the one who can help you but if we can separate the natural and supernatural aspects, we might be able to determine which hands you need to be in.”

“I only came in because Bobby was worried and he told Marty and Marty threatened to fire me if I didn’t get some help.”

“Then let me help.”

--

Sam stared at the same spot on the wall of his hospital room. He had escaped with minimal damages. A bad concussion and some cracked ribs. He’d gotten off lucky. Dean’s shoulder was ripped to hell and there were scrapes on his lungs that had to be monitored. Sarah was still in surgery. Her father had never had a chance. Sam was shaking.

“Dude?” Dean.

“Yeah?”

“See, I told you that he’d be awake.”

“You still shouldn’t be out of bed.” The nurse told him; a pretty nurse who had clearly fallen under Winchester charms.

“Yeah. My brother’s girlfriend is in surgery and I’m just supposed to sit in my bed while he’s in here hating himself.” Dean allowed himself to be rolled next to the bed. “You heard anything yet?”

“No.” Sam didn’t shake his head, didn’t look at his brother. “It’s my fault.”

“Aw, man, come on.” Dean watched the nurse go to make sure they wouldn’t be overheard. “She’ll be okay. She’s got insurance and Daddy’s name on the checking account. They’ll make sure to save her, in case she wants to make a donation for saving her life.”

The following night…
(April 14, 2010)

Dean blinked at the doctor. “What?”

“I’m sorry.” The doctor bowed his head and backed out of the room.

Sam fell back on his bed. “She died? They said she was stabilizing.”

“Sammy, it’s not your fault.”

“Get us out of here.” Sam clenched his eyes shut. “I’m never coming back here.”

“Sammy.”

“Get us out of here or I’m leaving without you.”

24 hours later…
(April 15, 2010)

Liz watched Sam walk around her and into her cottage, leaving her to help Dean out of the car and inside. It wasn’t like him to ignore his brother’s needs; his brother who was obviously having difficulties to begin with. “Dean, is he okay?”

“No. He’s not.” Dean admitted. He was tired; from the interlude with the Demon, from the hospital, from the drive. He was just tired; of hunting, of watching his brother so disconnected, of being alive without purpose aside from fighting evil. Looking at Liz reminded him that there was more to his existence. This little bit that he clung to, to get through the day. “I wouldn’t have even brought him back here except that I need help. I can’t…” He bowed his head. He was leaning more heavily on her that he would have liked. “I need help to deal with him.”

“Okay.” Liz nodded, struggling a little to support him. “Are you okay?”

“A little lightheaded, I lost a lot of blood. They gave me a transfusion but… it doesn’t seem to be sticking.”

“Okay.” She helped him in and deposited him on her bed. She propped him up on all the pillows. “I’m guessing you left AMA.”

“Maybe.”

“You did. Idiot.” She handed him a glass of water and over the counter pain killers. “Rest. Okay? No getting up.” She handed him her book. “This will keep you occupied.”

“Not another Oprah book.”

“No. This one has pirates and prison breaks. You’ll enjoy it.”

“Fine.” He nodded, holding the book to his stomach. “But after my nap.”

Liz turned her attention to Sam, who stood staring out the window. “Sam?” He didn’t turn. “Maybe you should get some sleep.”

“I don’t think I can.” The tall and thin shadow of a man whispered.

“Have you slept at all?”

“No.”

“Sam… I can’t tell you anything that will make you feel better but you have to take care of yourself. I’ve still got Kyle’s bed. Just lay down and rest. I’ll take care of Dean.”

Sam turned and seemed to see Dean for the first time. The bandages stained with blood, the bruises and cuts, the haunted eyes just watching. He started toward his brother but Liz stopped him. “But…”

“I’ve got him. You rest.” She pushed him to the bed and made him sit.

“Dude, you’re like a full foot taller than she is.” Dean snorted as he tried to focus on the book, despite his statement he would nap first. He wanted to keep an eye on his brother while he could. “She’s bossing you around. What a little bitch.”

“Hey.” Liz snapped her head around.

“He meant me. He called me a bitch.” Sam waved off his brother.

“Oh.” Liz still frowned at Dean.

“It’s a thing.” Sam shrugged and tried to settle himself on the bed.

“Ever since you cried like a little bitch when we watched The Land Before Time.” Dean turned a page in the book.

“You cried too!”

“I did not cry. I was sad sure, but no tears fell from my eyes. You cried like a little bitch.” Dean waved the book at Liz. “This is pretty interesting. I like bootleggers. Credit card defrauders of the 18th century. My heroes.”

“It’s not on the Oprah list.” Liz told him as she took a seat on Sam’s bed.

“Awesome.” He turned his eyes back to the book.

“Sam, rest.” Liz insisted

“I was seven, you jerk.” Sam bit out.

“And I was 11. I didn’t cry. Bitch.” Dean called back, grateful to have a little piece of his brother back.

“Okay, enough.” Liz told them. “Sam. Rest. We’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Yeah. This book is good.” Dean turned another page.

“I’ll take care of him, I promise.” Liz covered him with an extra comforter. “It’s okay to be sad, Sam. Just… rest.”

He ended up dozing and catching the occasional turn of a page from the other bed. A comment here and there that normally would make him smack his brother. A snide comment from Liz that used to make him laugh but only made him want to sleep more. The time or two that he opened his eyes, Liz was cooking or giving Dean something to drink. Once, he almost thought they were snuggling on the bed but that was just the exhaustion making him see things that weren’t there.

--

Liz let her fingers run through Dean’s hair. He had his head on her shoulder as he struggled to finish the chapter he was reading. Sam had been out cold for hours. He had several days of sleep to catch up on. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m good.” Dean lied.

“You have a hole in your shoulder.” She pressed a kiss to his head.

“It’s not the first time and it probably won’t be the last.” Dean shrugged and shut the book. “I am looking forward to the Nurse Liz treatment.”

She laughed softly. “Oh yeah? I’ll bet your twisted brain has naughty pictures for that image.”

“Hell, yeah.” As if there was any doubt he had the picture in his head already. “Naughty nurses’ outfit with the uh… net leggings.”

“Fishnets?”

“Those things.” He readily agreed.

“I’ll bet there are garter belts and thongs, too.”

“No thongs. No bras. Just the garter belt and the stockings. The outfit has snaps like that uniform the waitresses at your dad’s place wear.”

She laughed. “I’d hate to break it to him that his idea of a waitress’ uniform sends guys thoughts below the belt.”

“Anyone ever rip it off you?” He was a little too eager for the information and so Liz had to torture him a bit.

“No, but uh… I did return to a shift or two with half the buttons undone… and probably more bra showing than he’d like.” She giggled at the memory. She could still enjoy those memories.

“Max?” Dean asked uncomfortably.

“Yeah.” She laughed lowly to herself. “The first time I contemplated losing my virginity, was in between the deep fryer and a plate of kielbasa while wearing that uniform.”

“What?” He shut his eyes and let her talk.

“It started off as a talk. That chat. We had kissed before and he broke up with me. Then we were discussing whether or not we could still be friends and then he was… giving me visions in the kitchen while the restaurant was full of people and my parents were right upstairs.”

“Giving you visions? Is that a euphemism?”

“Yes and no. He really did give me a vision that night. My first vision. It was also the same night that I had any hint what an orgasm might be like. I found out later that it could be even better than that.” Liz sighed heavily and adjusted herself more comfortably without jostling him too much. “Of course, that was a lifetime ago.”

“Is that your way of trying to make sure I’ll still service you after hearing you gush about your husband?”

“Maybe.”

“I can’t do much of the work, right now.” His eyebrow shot up in a suggestive peak though his eyes were barely open to slits.

“Not right now. Sam is right there.” Liz scolded him lightly.

“I’m just saying. I like when you get so excited you have to grab the headboard.”

“Shut up.” She blushed wildly but didn’t make any move to climb off the bed. The night glares from the window were a good place to focus her eyes though.

The silence stretched out between them. It made Dean think about the conversation he’d left during. “Liz?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re not just a girl in port.”

“Okay.” She shut her eyes to absorb the admission.

“Liz?”

“Yeah.”

“I almost died… again.”

“I know.”

“Sammy could have…” He took a breath. “He was unconscious even after I came to and he was still mobile when I passed out. If I had come to sooner, maybe she…”

“Sh.” Liz cut off his words. “It’s not your fault.” Tears sprung to her eyes. “It’s not. He’s just stronger than you… but you’ll kill him. You’re smart. You’ll find a way. You just have to find the right way.”

--

Sam took the cup of coffee when it was offered. Dean was asleep. He thought he preferred it that way. He loved his brother. He couldn’t handle the morning with the jokes and the comments, though. He just wasn’t ready. Liz was up early or late. He couldn’t tell. She sipped her coffee and picked at a plate of eggs and biscuits, just the same as him. “I slept, kind of. Did you?”

“Who can sleep when a drugged up Dean is so much fun?” She winked at him.

“Is he okay?”

“He’s worried about you but that’s not news.”

“I guess not.”

“He thought maybe you loved her.”

“I thought maybe I could but… I didn’t stop hunting for her and I still got her killed.”

“The demon did that, Sam. Not you.” Liz wiped at her eyes. “Kivar killed my husband. Not me, not you, not Michael, not Dean. The demon killed her. Not you.”

“Because of me, because of her involvement with me.”

She stared at him for the longest time, her eyes shining. “You are something special, Sam. You have a gift or curse. Whatever. You have knowledge of this world which saves lives that don’t matter much to you. The few you do care about, they get taken from you. It sucks. It really does. It’s not fair. You don’t have the luxury of ‘what if’. What if you didn’t know? All the people you saved and more would have died. What if you had told someone? You would have been locked up. It’s not a fair world. It’s not a fair existence. I live with my world the same as you live with yours. ‘What if’ is too heavy a price.” She wiped at her eyes for a second. “I would love to have my husband back but it’s not possible. He died. He died saving me and everyone from an alien who would have loved nothing more than to destroy the earth… and just because Max was on it. No other reason. I don’t pretend to know the Yellow-Eyed Demon’s reasons. I couldn’t fathom why he would do what he’s done to you… but he’s doing it.”

“You’re lucky. Your drama is over.”

“No, it’s not, Sam.” She put her cup down. “My drama is that now I have visions connected to you. Even if my visions had stopped when Max died, I would still know this other world existed. Where demons, ghosts and vampires walk the earth in patterns that I’m not trained to see. Maybe you don’t want it. It’s a burden. You have it. I’m begging you not to give up.”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“Because. This was a cheap shot. A cheap, painful, shot. He’s running scared of you and your brother. He’s losing control of you, I think.” Liz sighed and tried not to remember the places her vision had taken her to. “Why take out a girl you’ve barely seen? You cared about her but you didn’t have a relationship with her.” She placed her hands on the table, leaning forward to make him meet her eyes. Her arms shook but her voice never did. “He killed her to weaken you. To bring you down. You can’t let him win. He can have the battles along the way but you have to win the war. Do you hear me?”

“Yes, sir.” Sam blinked at her. “You sounded just like my dad, just then.”

“I know.” Liz took a breath and pulled away from the table. “I do that sometimes. I don’t know why.”

“Wait? You channel my dad?” Sam rose and followed her around the room. “You’ve done it before?”

“Yes, no… Once.” She looked up at him, her eyes wide. “It scares me. He was a good man but… I don’t know why. I only met him for like a minute. I don’t understand why I’m connected to him. Don’t tell Dean what I did.”

“Okay.”

“He misses your dad so much. I couldn’t tell him that I could do that.”

“He always was Dad’s favorite.” Sam shrugged.

“Your dad didn’t have favorites. He would have preferred fighting with Dean over you. Anything not to look at Dean.” Liz whispered, not sure where exactly the thoughts were coming from. Vaguely, she recalled something about the Winchesters occupying the cottage once upon a time. For all she knew, their spiritual fingerprints were all over the place.

“What?” He frowned at her.

“She might have died in your room, Sam but it’s Dean that always reminded him of your mother.” She lowered her voice when Dean stirred. “Just promise me that you won’t give up or give in, Sam.”

“Okay.” Sam nodded. “Mind if I use your shower?”

“Go for it.” She nodded. She watched Dean’s sleeping figure until long after Sam had disappeared into her tiny bathroom. Dean was actually sleeping. She could tell that it wasn’t the earlier drug-induced sleeping that had him shifting every few minutes. He was dead to the world and if it weren’t for the constant rise and fall of his chest, she might have thought he was dead.

TBC

Part 42 – a day later…
(April 17, 2010)

Sam let Liz comb the scabs out of his hair. He’d sat on the extra bed feeling sorry for himself. Lucky to be alive wasn’t a phrase he’d use. He felt like shit. He winced as the teeth came too close to the less healed regions. “Maybe I should just shave it off.”

“Nope. You wouldn’t be Sam without all this hair.” She teased him lightly. “I don’t want to be your Delilah. For all I know, your strength is in this gorgeous hair.”

He had to smile a bit at that. Then he glanced over at his brother, who was sleeping off pain killers, hugging a book with a red cover. “I can’t believe you got him to read a book for fun.”

“We have an agreement. He has to finish the book before he gets to ask if he can get out of bed without an escort.” She shrugged at him but decided she had gotten all the bits out. “I think they used your hair as stitches, just kind of tied it in a big knot over the gash-”

“Liz?”

“Yeah?”

“I need some time alone. I don’t want him to worry about me.”

“Are you going to hole up at the hotel?” Even as the words were out of her mouth, she knew that wasn’t it.

“I need to go pay some respects. He needs to heal up. I hate to dump him on you. I should really be fixing him up but I’m no good to anyone right now.”

“I can handle Dean.” Liz promised. “You have to promise to check in.”

“Okay. Try to keep him from finding out as long as possible.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry, Liz, but I gotta go.”

“I know.” She hugged him. “You gonna take the car?”

“I need to get away from him. Taking the car would definitely send him chasing after me.” He tossed a rueful smile in his brother’s direction.

“I’ll do what I can to make him understand when he realizes you’re gone.”

“Thanks.”

--

Dean sat up rather unsteadily as Liz put clean gauze in place of the soaked ones. “I need a shower. A real shower with a pulsating showerhead. A steam shower sounds so damn good.”

“Not until the skin closes over.” She chided lightly. “How long did the doctor want you to stay?”

“Two weeks.”

“And to rest?”

“Another month.”

“Okay. I will help you to the bathroom and the shower stuff but you gotta promise me that you’ll stay in bed. If I catch you sitting up, I’ll move you to the hotel and forget about you.”

“No naughty Nurse Liz?”

“Right. I won’t even think about fulfilling your sick fantasies.” She taped the gauze in place and pushed him back down on the pillows. “In fact, if you get up… I’ll tell you all about how I plan to pleasure myself in the shower and make sure you can’t enjoy it.”

“You’re a tyrant. You’re cruel. I think that’s why I stick around.” He flashed her a brilliant smile and raised his eyebrows. “If I’m a good boy and stay in bed, what’s my reward?”

“I will consider the Naughty Nurse Liz fantasy.”

“Sold.”

“You know, usually after surgery, the doctor insists on limiting sexual activity. It’s barely been a week.”

“It’s just a torn muscle.”

“Sex is the one activity that involuntarily uses all the muscles in the body. I don’t think you’ve been cleared.”

“Aw, come on.”

“Let’s consider it, when you don’t need my help to go to the bathroom.”

“Then I should tell you that I’ve been milking the situation and I’ve never really needed you to help me.”

“You’re so full of it.” She rose to throw away the old bandages and the trash from the new ones.

Dean cast his gaze to the other bed. It lay empty. “Where’d Sammy go?”

“He predicted that you’d become unbearable. He’s going get his head together.”

“Oh. So long as he doesn’t forget to come inject me with some testosterone every once in a while.” He joked then looked at her seriously. “He’s doing okay?”

“Yeah. He’ll be fine. He just… he needs to deal on his own, Dean.”

“Just… keep an eye on him, for me.”

“Why? I thought you didn’t need me.”

“I was just trying to get some play but you’re a tyrant.”

“Need another pain killer?” She filled his water glass and grabbed the bottle from the table. He hadn’t said anything but from the look on his face, he had needed it an hour ago.

“Sammy’s gonna know about us if you keep babying me like this.” He held the pills in his hand and rolled them between his fingers. “You keep hovering and I’ll pull you right down on me.”

She gingerly poked his shoulder. He winced. “Maybe not?”

“Fine.” He tossed back the pills with some water. “Just stop wearing those jeans. They give me thoughts.”

“What?” She stood up and turned around to look at her jeans. “These old things?”

“Yes, those. They’re like paint. A guy could die just staring at you.”

“I could take them off.” She reached for the button, turning to him fully.

“Look, vixen. Don’t make me get off this bed.”

Five days later…
(April 22, 2010)

Dean watched as she made herself comfortable with a dark sort of yearning in her eyes. He had to laugh. She scoffed at him. She frowned but the look in her eyes didn’t change. “What are you laughing at?”

“You.”

“Why?”

“Because you always do this and I find it funny.” He cleared his throat and motioned to her position on the bed. “Right now, you’re acting like a sex kitten but once you get off, you’ll turn shy and timid. I think it’s adorable.” Moving quickly, he trapped her beneath him. “I’m curious as to why that is.”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“You flirt hardcore until we fuck. Then afterwards, you get shy and you cover up, like you’re embarrassed. Why?”

“I don’t know.” She frowned, her fingers sliding up his chest, avoiding his bandages. “And don’t use that word.”

“Fuck?”

“Yes. I don’t like it.”

“You’re a prude in wolf’s clothing.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know why.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I find it very hot. You don’t confuse me often but this switch-around throws me.”

“Get off. You can’t roll around until you’re completely healed.” She nudged him until he lay on his back once more. “I believe that was the whole purpose in the Dean-stays-in-bed plan. Don’t make me revoke your rewards.”

“Rewards… yes. I like the rewards.”

She slid across his body, careful to keep her weight off his injured shoulder. “You stopped bleeding on the sheets but that doesn’t mean all the insides are healed yet. You’ll just have to let me take over for a while.”

“I am not complaining.”

“Not right now…”

--

Dean opened his eyes. It was dark. He awkwardly yanked on some shorts to make his way to the bathroom. He frowned at the empty bed across the cottage. When he looked out the window, he could see the Impala right where he’d parked it a week ago. Surely Sam would have taken it to get around. Making sure that Liz was asleep, he pulled on a shirt, pants and yanked on his boots. He jogged over to the hotel, a little out of breath from being confined to bed for so long without exercise aside from the horizontal. He nodded to Montoya, the proprietor who seemed to be sleeping awake. “My brother in his room?”

Montoya looked annoyed at being awake in the first place. The question seemed to challenge his intelligence and so he refused to answer it.

“Tall dude. Long hair. Pouting, probably. Looks like me but despite his claims is not more handsome than me.”

“Man, I’m tired. I don’t appreciate your practical jokes.” Montoya blinked at him slowly.

“Just point me to his room.”

“Man, he’s not here. He took off. Saw him get on a bus like a week ago.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah. That Lillian chick from Marty’s took him over there.”

“Whoa, whoa. Whoa. Lillian took Sam to the bus station a week ago?”

“Something like that.”

“Fuckin’…” Dean raised his hands to Montoya. “Fine. I’ll go ask her.”

“If you wake her up, she’ll kick your ass.” Montoya offered lamely as he let himself fall back into his waking sleep.

Dean muttered under his breath the whole way back. Throwing open his car door, he discovered that all of his brother’s things were gone. He was definitely not on a jaunt. He was gone. There were no pending hunts and he couldn’t see Sammy in the right frame of mind to take down any spirit, much less a monster or minor demon. He didn’t bother to be quiet when he entered the cottage and began tossing his things in his bag. Liz sat up, yanking the sheet with her. “Dean, what’s going on?”

“Where did he go?” Dean demanded.

“What are you talking about?”

“Sam. Where did he go?”

“Dean, I told you.”

“And Montoya told me that you took Sam to the bus station. Just cut the crap and tell me where.”

Liz scrambled out of bed and yanked on a shirt. “Dean… come on. He just needs some space.”

“You don’t get to make that decision. He’s not in his head. He’s dangerous like this. He’s wide open to demonic possession and you put him on the fucking bus.” He roared at her.

“Don’t yell at me.” She shouted back. “He was begging for some peace of mind. He needed to get away.”

“Where?” He towered over her. “Don’t make me do this the hard way. You’ve been sapping my strength intentionally. Maybe you’re a succubus.”

“Name calling. Real mature, Dean.”

“That’s what all this has been about, hasn’t it. Trying to keep me from finding out that Sam’s been running around and getting into deep shit by himself. How am I supposed to protect him if I don’t know where he is?”

“Dean… he’s a big boy. He can take care of himself.”

“I swore I’d always take care of him and you just… Where did he go?”

“He’ll be fine.”

“That’s my call, not yours. Where did he go?”

Liz gave up and started gathering his things to toss in his bag. “A couple of places.” Dean only nodded and shoved his clothes, clean and dirty, into the bag. He hunted around for his weapons. They invariably got tucked all around when he stayed with her. “That’s not what it’s all been about. You know that.”

“Maybe if I wasn’t being taunted and tempted, I would have noticed sooner but that was the point, right?”

“You need to rest still. You’re not healed. Tossing your things around like that is only going to aggravate your shoulder.” She sank into a chair to watch him. He wasn’t listening anymore and all she felt was tired. Frowning, she tucked her legs underneath her and watched him as he angrily shoved his things in his bag. “It’s not like I could have stopped him, Dean.”

“You could have tried.”

“We talked. I understood his need. He’s a grown man. He can go where he likes. He’s also a foot taller than me, your observation. I can only bully him so far. He doesn’t need you to yell at him when you find him.” Liz pressed but she didn’t know if he was going to give her any leeway. “When you find him… just remember he needs you to be his brother. Not his father. Not his platoon leader. Just be there and don’t try to fix it. You can’t.”

“Since when are you the expert on my brother?”

“I’m not claiming to be, Dean.” She got up and began packing up some food. She held it out to him just as he was trying to heave his bag up on his shoulder. “Make sure you eat to keep up your strength.”

His face almost gave something away but he just looked at it and walked out the door. He shoved his bag in the back and fished around his jacket pockets for his keys.

“You’re not healed yet, Dean.” She protested weakly. The longer he stayed quiet, the worse she felt. “Dean.”

“Where?” He stared right through her.

“Sacramento and Lawrence. I don’t know which one he was going to first.” She sat down on her stoop in her T-shirt with the food in her lap. “Dean.”

“You know… I get enough shit about spending too much time in bed from him. I don’t need anyone using it against me to keep me from my brother. He’s all that I’ve got. I swore to my father that I would always be there to protect him. That I would be there when the big shit goes down and I can’t do that if you’re riding me to hell and back while he’s out there and vulnerable.”

“I’m sorry. We didn’t… It’s just… Dean…”

Dean climbed into the Impala and had it speeding along the freeway in no time at all. He spent the first twenty minutes cursing under his breath, then the next twenty rubbing at his eyes to keep from falling asleep. The following hours were spent ignoring his stomach growling. All of it was spent trying not to think about anything but getting to his stupid little brother before a demon took a bite out of him.

TBC

Part 43 – A day later…
(April 23, 2010)

“I don’t want to talk about it, Stan.” Liz bit out as she waited her tables. He kept following her around.

“You look like death warmed over. Something’s been going on. I know that I’ve been a little absentee but… come on. Lillian.” Kyle ducked around a big burly guy and followed her behind the bar.

“Look. I was just the host to the most whiny Winchester ever. They’re all gone now. I’ll be getting sleep again. I’m fine.” She stared at him.

“And that’s how I know that you’re not.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Come here.” He motioned her into his arms. She reluctantly walked into them and felt marginally better than before. “Dad’s coming up. It’ll be like Roswell here for a while. If he sees you looking like this, he won’t let it drop. So tell me that you’re really okay and there’s not a guy I have to go beat down.”

“No, I’m fine. Tired.” She relaxed into him and rested her head on his shoulder.

“What did the doctor say?” He whispered into her hair.

“There’s nothing wrong with me.” Liz stood up straight. “Who told you?”

“Betty Lou’s aunt saw you in Baxter at Dr. Meyer’s.”

“I had a… mixed episode. Vision and alien fireworks.” She waved off his concerned face. “Talk to Bobby. I’m sick of talking about it.”

“But you’re okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. You need me. Call me. Okay?”

“I will.”

--

Dean cursed as he paced in front of the Impala. He didn’t want to go up there but Sammy wasn’t coming back down. Finally, he sucked it up. He picked his way through the plots to the gravestone that his brother knelt in front of. “Dude. You’re supposed to be in bed.”

“And you were supposed to be moping in the hotel. I had to find out from fucking Montoya that you skipped town without me.” Dean barked out but looked contrite when his eyes fell on his mother’s name on the stone. She would have scolded him thoroughly for the language, the tone and the direction to which it was all spent. He had a vague memory of being scared when Dad had hit his thumb with a hammer. First he was scared that Dad was hurt, then scared by the very loud and angry curses that had flown out of his mouth. Then he got scared when his mother had taken a tone to Dad about the cursing in front of the child. Mom had definitely been the boss of the house.

“I just needed some space, man.” Sam sniffed and kept his eyes focused on the letters. Mary Winchester. “I always wonder if maybe she knew something. Or if she understood when she died. I know that she hung around the house and kept the other spirits in check but did she ever really know why?”

“Dude, we don’t even know why.” Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and regretted it. His shoulder burned something fierce. “We know what did it. Where it happened. How it happened. When it happened. Why is the only thing we don’t know.”

“Liz didn’t call me to tell me you were coming.”

“Yeah, well. She can take a flying leap. It was a shitty thing to do.” Dean lowered his gaze to the ground. After that succubus bit, Liz’s fight had pretty much died. She had tried talking to him and Dean had ignored it. His brother was safe. He was mad at him but he was waxing whiny-bitch over their mother’s grave. What could he really do?

“I asked her to. I knew you needed rest and someone to look after you. I’m just… not the best person to be around right now.”

“You let me know, Sammy. If you need time, you let me know. You don’t sneak out the back and…” Dean trailed off. He was an ass. Sam would never have told Liz to sleep with him just to keep him in bed where he belonged. Sam didn’t even know they were sleeping together. Liz was… fuck it all! “I’ll be in the car.”

“Dean?” Sam turned as his brother started to go. He knew that set in his brother’s jaw. He was pissed. “It’s not her fault. I asked her to keep you safe for me.”

“I’m the protector here. It’s my job.” Dean whirled on his brother. “Dammit, Sammy! If you lose me, then I’ve lost you. I can’t keep up with you all the time, especially when I have a hole in my body.”

“Yeah, okay, Dad.” Sam muttered to himself.

“You’re damn right I sound like Dad. He gave me the same speech. I never listened to him like I should have. Maybe if I had, he wouldn’t have ditched me when he caught onto the Demon’s trail. Maybe I would know what he knew about it. I was a fuck up for a son and now I’m paying the price.”

The younger Winchester blinked rapidly at his brother. “You’re the fuck up? Dad hated me.”

“No. Dad loved you. He was proud of you. I know cause he always bitched about you. I stuck around but I always had to hear how I needed to watch myself. I followed his every fucking order and I still wasn’t near enough for him.” Dean fought against the swelling in his eyes. “You ever wonder why I was so damned obedient, Sammy? I was a good soldier and I got treated like one. Not a son, a soldier. Never eyeballing or complaining, just doing and waiting for commendations that never came.”

“Dude, calm down.” Sam got to his feet. “You were his favorite.”

“No, I wasn’t. I was just the one he could depend on.” Dean turned and stormed back to the car. “Get in the car.”

Liz’s words echoed in Sam’s ears as he took one long last look at his mother’s marker and then followed his brother back to the car. He tossed his bag in the back and retrieved the box from under the seat. He flipped through it as Dean drove them out of Lawrence in silence.

Mom. One picture. Green eyes. Tea blonde. Fair. Sam lifted his eyes to his brother and finally understood what Liz had been trying to say. What his father was guiding Liz to say. John Winchester loved his boys more than life. He didn’t know how to show them after his wife had died. The harder he was, the more he loved. The bigger the outburst, the more the concern. That was what Dean had seen. He had taken the criticisms to heart where Sam had used them to fuel his anger. But it was right there the whole time. His eyes flicked from the picture to his brother, back and forth. “You look a lot like her.”

“Yeah. I get that.”

“Sorry.” Sam flinched at the tone. That was a truly rare tone and he’d never had it aimed at him before.

“I used to hear it a lot before we left Lawrence. It’s a kick to the gut every time. You think you get used to it… but every time someone says it, it’s like being sucker punched all over again.” Dean’s voice was raspy. From yelling, from worrying, from weakness. “They all think it’s a compliment. That you should take joy in looking so much like your dead mother. It hurts more. More than they can know it does.”

“You were a kid.”

“It still hurts. You think I can look in a mirror and not see her?”

“Dean…”

“I don’t like to think about it, Sam. I know. All the things you think you’re learning. I know them. None of it comforts me.” He sniffed. “We used to tuck you in together. Dad would work late, so me and Mom would do it. Sometimes, if we were lucky, he’d come home in time to wash up and catch us before we turned out the lights. That’s what happened that night. It was normal. He came home in time so we could do it together. All three of us, tucking you in. Then me. I got tucked in. I woke up when I heard the scream. I saw more than Dad thought I saw.”

“You saw?” Sam whispered.

“I walked out of my room. All the noise was coming from your room. I saw the flames. I saw her nightgown on the ceiling. Then Dad was coming at me with you.” Dean braced himself against the pain in his body. “I could still see her. Over his head. No screaming, just burning. I ran away from that as much as I ran because Dad told me to.”

“Man…I-”

“I take my promises, seriously. I always would promise her that I’d be a good brother. I always promised Dad that I would look out for you. I even went to Stanford a few times to check up on you. To make sure that you were safe. Even after we stopped talking.”

“Dude.”

“I’m getting old, dude. Too old for this shit. I’m 31 and I’m still chasing your ass all over the place because I promised that I would get there in time.” Dean felt his throat closing up on him, his eyes stung but he was too tired to even work up tears.

“Dad gave his soul for you.”

“Yeah. Thanks a lot, Dad. Not that I don’t enjoy being here but maybe the more experienced hunter should have stayed.” Dean was never more grateful to put Lawrence in the rearview. “We were painful for him to look at. I feel like he escaped us. So he wouldn’t have to deal with us anymore.”

“I sometimes hated him but I never thought that way. You say you’re too old for this… think about Dad. He was… over 50?”

“I know.”

Sam’s phone rang. It broke the mood and it ended the conversation. “Yeah?”

“Sam? Is Dean with you?”

“Yeah, he found me.” Sam slid a look to his brother, who had visibly stiffened.

“Tell him… I don’t know… he’s pissed.”

“Mostly at me, I think.”

“No, he made himself quite clear. Just…”

“Okay. I will.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Head’s clear as it’s going to be.”

“Don’t rush yourself. Grieve.”

“Okay. Don’t take anything he said personally. I’ll take care of it.”

“Just, leave it alone, Sam. Whatever was said, that’s between me and him.” She hung up without giving him a chance to counter.

Sam looked at his brother. “What did you say to her? When last I saw, you were pretty damn content to have her wait on you, hand and foot.”

Dean set his jaw and didn’t say a word. It was too late to take back his words and the things he’d meant when he’d said them. He thought about the look on her face when he’d driven off. He pulled over. “You drive. I need sleep.”

A week and a half later…
(May 2, 2010)

Dean shoved his clothes from his bag to the washing machine. He only just caught the book before it fell in. The red cover having caught his eye. He yanked off his shirt and shoved it in the washer. If it weren’t for the little old lady in the next row, he’d toss his jeans in too. He did yank off his boots and toss his socks in though. Poured double the soap since his clothes had been packed tight in the bag with blood stains on most of them. He set the book on top of the washer and pretended not to care about it.

The bathroom was dingy but it would work. He sponge-bathed around the stitches using the lukewarm water and a paper towel. Carefully, he used his pocketknife to remove all the stitches up front. He could get Sam to do the back later. He would shower later but when he had clean clothes once more. When he returned to move his wash to the dryer, the old lady walked up and handed him the book. “Some hoodlum tried to use it to make spit balls. Watch your things better.”

“Yeah.” Dean stared at the book in his hand. He moved his stuff to the dryer and stared at it. He had been yelling at her and accusing her of awful things and she was fixing him food to eat and packing the book so he could finish it. He’d been halfway through. He had wanted to know what would happen next. It wasn’t his normal reading material but it had impressed him from the beginning. They had talked about it a bit between bouts of passion fueled fucking. He didn’t care that she didn’t like the word. He did. It fit.

Two pages. He managed to read two pages before he had his phone in hand. He dialed and let it ring once but hung up. When his phone rang a minute later, he didn’t answer it. When the voicemail beeped, he checked it.

“Dean… Dean, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… but you had no right to… I hate it when you’re like this. God! Never mind.” The way her voice went from pleading to angry to exasperated actually made him smile. When he looked up, the old lady was staring at him with THAT look on her face. He hated nosey old ladies and their stupid looks. The ones that said they knew what was going on even though they didn’t know the whole story.

“Was it a gift?” He shrugged at the question. “Hoping you’d lose it so you’d forget about the girl?”

“Maybe.”

“Girl won’t be forgotten?”

“Never.” Dean laughed to himself. So maybe the old lady knew a thing or two about a thing or two.

“Ah, to be young and in love.”

“I wouldn’t say love.”

“Ah, even better.” She put the last of her folded laundry in a basket and picked it up. “I won’t even tell the manager you were walking around bare foot in here because you have that look on your face.”

Dean held the door open for her and she pinched his cheek in passing. He stared at the cover on the book for a long time while he paced the row of dryers. He shoved his feet into his boots and yanked his clothes out of the dryer, mostly dry but some things a little wet. He didn’t know what he was doing or why. He just had an urgency to get back to the hotel and to shower, regardless of the healing wound.

--

Sam woke to his phone ringing at him. Dragging his phone to his ear, he was barely able to catch the ring before it went to voice mail. “Hello.”

“Hey birthday boy.”

“Hi, Liz.”

“How are you guys doing?”

“Good, considering.”

“Is Dean there?”

“You didn’t try his phone.”

“He’s not answering his phone.”

“Dean…” Sam rolled over. His brother was gone. He sat up to find a note and coffee on the table. “He’s out, I guess.”

“Okay… don’t tell him I called, though.”

“Yeah, he’ll talk when he’s ready to apologize.”

“I guess. So you’re okay?”

“Yeah. Gonna take it easy today and not let him bug me too badly.”

“Good. Enjoy your day.”

--

Liz picked around in the garage waiting for Kyle. Bobby slid out from under a car. “Lil… hand me that wrench over there.”

She picked it out of the box and handed it over. She was overwhelmed with a sense of déjà vu though she had no idea where it stemmed from. She knelt on the ground and rummaged through the toolbox. They weren’t in the right places. She handed Bobby the tools as he asked but replaced them in the spaces that were a better fit.

Bobby rolled out from under the car and glanced into the box. “You been hanging out with them Winchesters too much. You’re starting to do things their way.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“That Dean can do that to a toolbox blindfolded. John had that one trained for a garage since birth. Can’t ever get that boy to settle down, though. He’s got an eye for an engine.” Bobby waved her off. “He’s got a gift with a shotgun, too. It’s a tossup which he should be doing with his life but I ain’t his daddy and his daddy wanted him to hunt…”

“So that’s what he does, huh.” Liz hid a smile. Then she gazed into the toolbox. It was orderly and efficient. Everything within easy reach. “It just made sense.”

“That’s what John used to say. I think he had an obsessive compulsive thing with tools and guns. I take care of my guns but I don’t LOVE my guns the way ol’ John did.” Bobby heaved himself up off the ground.

“How did you meet him?” She asked, curious.

“Long time ago. He was on a hunt and he got referred to me. Stashed his boys here while he went. Came back quicker than he thought and found some uncharted hunting ground in the area. This…” Bobby nodded to himself sadly. “This state is virtually demon free because of ol’ John. I’m a librarian. I hunt sometimes, used to hunt more. I exorcise but I’m a weekend kind of guy. John was the real deal. He had fuel for the fire. I… happened upon it years before he did. We thought alike, being in the Marines and all… but John would’ve been a lifer if not for his wife.” He laughed. “Them kids were goofy, I’ll tell you. Dean was the biggest ham that you have ever seen. Obedient when ordered but once he got the call to stand down, a clown. He still is, I guess. Now, Sam. Hasn’t changed bit. Still the same bookworm. Still spouting off after his brother. Still angry at the world. But he’s got a good head. That boy can tear your heart out with a look. Then fill it back up with all those helpful deeds he does.”

“Aw, Bobby, you have a heart.”

“No, I don’t.” He quipped back quickly. “Come on. Stan’s gonna be busy a while and if you’re gonna do one kit, you’re gonna do them all. It’ll teach all these boys how to keep a proper tool box.”

--

Sam had just finished off his coffee when the door burst open to admit his brother. Before he could even greet him, Dean had tossed his bag on the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Snorting, Sam just stared at the door for a long while… then he eyed the bag on the bed. He was nearly through when he heard the water shut off. Cursing, he returned to his seat as if he hadn’t been doing a thing. The elder Winchester emerged with his hair plastered flat on his head. “Feel better?”

“Maybe.” Dean shrugged and held onto the towel knotted at his waist. Then he glared at the neat piles of clothes on the bed. “Dude, you folded my clothes?”

“I was bored and you were taking forever.” Then he glanced at his brother’s disbelieving face. “Okay, so I was trying to gauge how bad you were bleeding by the blood stains on your clothes.”

“Stopped bleeding two weeks ago. I don’t know that I could lift the shot gun right now but I can handle a .45.” He tested his shoulder by lifting his arm straight out to the side. “Must be healing pretty fast cause it doesn’t even hurt.”

“But it’s weak?”

“Ah, to be expected.”

“Okay.” Sam nodded. His brother was approaching honest for once. So he’d take what he could get.

“So, birthday dude. What’s the plan?”

“To celebrate without you. My birthday wish is for you to sit on your ass all day.” Sam pulled on his shoes. “I’m going. All day. I’ll send you food every once in a while… if I remember.”

“Ha. Ha.” Dean shot him a look as he got dressed. “Maybe, though.”

“Really?”

“Maybe.” He was tired. He was weak. He needed to get strong again and sooner rather than later. “I’m getting old or something. Going out to a bar tonight is just unthinkable.”

“You are getting old.”

“You’re not that far behind me.” Dean warned as he sank down and contemplated putting his boots on.

“Whatever, man. It’s my day and today… I don’t have a brother. I don’t have a career hunting down monsters. I’m just 27, today.” Sam waved as he exited the room.

Dean stared at the boots and then just lay back in bed. He picked up his phone and tried it again. This time, it went straight to voicemail. “Hey… Look…” He sighed. He should have rehearsed it. “I didn’t mean what I said… and thanks for the book. I’ll make sure you get it back.”

Shutting off the ringer, he picked up the remote. Monster Movie Marathon. “Awesome.” It was two hours later when his phone chirped out the signal that he had a voice message. Debating for a moment, he finally picked it up.

“Don’t worry about the book. I’m sorry for lying but… whatever.”

Dean tapped his phone against his chin for a long moment while Godzilla demolished Tokyo. He squinted as he used his thumbs to send her a text. “Message received and ignored.”

A moment later, he got a text back. “You’re a jerk.”

“A jerk you can’t keep your hands off.”

“Must I repeat myself”

“Are we cool?”

“Not really.”

Dean had to think about that while the poor sap on TV got bit by a nasty looking wolf. He debated with himself so long that she got frustrated.

“You had no right to make those assumptions about me. I lied about where Sam was and that was it. You’re the one who turned me into a monster as an excuse to run out the door. I’m not that kind of person.”

“No. You’re not.” He stared at the phone and waited for the answering text. It never came. Not through the end of the werewolf movie or the Frankenstein flick or the two cheesy vampire movies after that. “Liz? I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. I get that.”

“Well, fuck.” He swore aloud, tossing his phone across the room. He winced at the suspicious sounding crack but he was even more tired than he had been when he’d laid down.

TBC

Part 44 – A month later…
(June 30, 2010)

Liz rolled her eyes at the guys. They were being guys but she was working. It was a forced show. It wasn’t like she could just leave. Kyle fit right in with the guys. They let him be the guy he had been long before aliens had ever been a factor. He took comfort in that ability. She poured him another beer and suddenly felt ill. He saw the look on her face and rushed just as quickly to the bathroom with her. Kyle followed her in and held her hair back until the heaves subsided. “You okay?”

“Yeah… I’m just… maybe I have a bug.”

“You didn’t eat those cookies Billy made, did you?”

“Oh crap.” Liz moaned. “Where they bad?”

“Bobby was muttering something about demon poisoning. I don’t know.”

“OH…”

“Whoa, that’s gross.” Kyle tried not to look as she continued to heave. “Yeah, Damon got like this too. Billy shouldn’t be allowed near a kitchen.”

“I’m okay.” Liz gulped and tried to stand up. Kyle handed her a wad of toilet paper and kicked the handle for her. He hovered while she washed up. “I’ll be okay.”

“All right. Sure. I’m gonna hang around, though.”

“Okay.” Liz nodded and tried to walk back out to the bar. She felt queasy but it all disappeared when the door opened.

--

“How’s the shoulder?”

“It’s fine.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“You asked me fifty times a day how my leg was. I’m gonna go all Dad on your ass if I find out you’re not okay.”

“Yeah, whatever. It was just an annoying ghost. No big.” Dean waved him off.

“The timing is off.” Sam commented when the Impala started up.

“Good catch. We’ll pull in the next town over.”

“You’re not taking her to Bobby’s? I thought he was the only one you trusted with your baby.”

“It’s just a timing chain. I can do that anywhere.” Dean evaded the real reason he didn’t want to drive across two states to go to Bobby’s. She didn’t want him there. He had been stupid and accused her of being a demon of all things. Called her lovemaking strength-sapping feedings… it’s a miracle she hadn’t kicked his ass right then and there.

“Okay…” Sam made a face but didn’t push it. It had become a habit over the past few years to just pull into South Dakota when the Impala needed any little thing, even a timing chain.

“Seattle’s here, right?”

“Yeah.” Sam blinked at his brother.

“Space Needle? Supposed to be cool?”

“And you have to book tickets or reservations in advance.”

“So.” Dean pointed to the phone. “Make it happen. I want to see it.”

“What is with you man?” Sam stared at his brother who was, heading for Seattle after all. “First the Grand Canyon on your birthday, then it was uh… Riverwalk on Cinco de Mayo. We drove overnight and you were sadly disappointed, if I recall.”

“I just didn’t think all that fuss was about a stinkin’ mall.”

“There’s a river inside the damned mall, Dean. It wasn’t just the mall... You know what? Forget it. What’s after this? Rushmore?”

“Never seen that.” Dean narrowed his eyes at the road as he considered it. “Is it supposed to be cool?”

“Giant presidents’ heads in a cliff face.”

“Really? That’s stupid.” Still. Never seen that. “Where is that?”

“South Dakota.”

“Nah, pass. Niagara, though. Last time we drove through, I didn’t get to see the falls.” Dean caught his brother’s disbelieving face. “What?”

“Since when do you give a crap?”

“Since I’m 31 and I’ve been to every state in the continental U.S. and haven’t seen any of the sights… although… were you with us when we hit the Guadalupes hunting for that Chupacabra?”

“No.” Sam shook his head.

“I was skimming along this rock wall when I turned and looked. There were like old worms and weird ass fossils in there. Turns out, the whole thing used to be underwater. Like a dinosaur’s Jacuzzi or something.”

“Okay. Sure. Dean.” Sam shook his head at his brother.

“Look. The jobs are few and far between these days. I can’t do a whole lot until I get my strength up. I want to have some fun.”

“Fine.” Sam sat for a moment and then turned to his brother. “How did you kill the Chupacabra?”

“It was awesome. We chased it out to the Salt Flats and then Dad…”

--

Jim looked her over. He’d seen her at Maria’s wedding but she seemed sadder somehow. “You like working here?”

“I like the people.” Liz offered while she sipped her water slowly. “It’s good to see you.”

“I’m not going to give you a speech about taking care of yourself. I’m not going to try to talk you into coming home but your Dad calls. I did.”

“Okay.” She laughed.

“You feeling okay?”

“Not really.” She admitted, sheepishly. “One of the guys at the shop was trying to impress me with his homemaking skills. He… he managed to make me and a couple of those guys sick.”

“Aw, a knight in the running, huh.”

“I don’t know that he’s in the running but he’s trying.” Liz let out a little laugh. “Part of me wants to let him but most of me knows that I don’t want him.”

“Breaking hearts without even trying, huh.” Jim chuckled. “You’ll be okay, some day, Liz.”

“I know.” She paused and moaned. “I’ll be back.”

Kyle plopped down in her empty seat. “Yeah… Billy’s not going to live this one down for a long time.”

“Something happen since January? She seemed happier at the wedding.”

“She says she’s tired a lot.” Kyle shrugged. “She’s gone to the doctor a few times since then.” He shook his head. “Don’t tell her folks but she’s still getting visions and some of them hit her hard… Like physically. Like a semi.”

“Jesus…” Jim sighed heavily. “Is she okay?”

“The doctor can’t find anything wrong with her but Liz is getting pretty weak these days and I don’t know if it’s the visions or if she’s just… sick. Liz was concerned enough to go to the doctor. She lucked out with the one she got. She can be trusted. The last big vision was so powerful that her other powers turned on.”

“Turned on?”

“She was using parts of her brain that she didn’t know were even open. She did some telekinesis and pretty accurately, though she didn’t know she was doing it. Not just pyrotechnics either. Moving water glasses and not breaking them. Otherworldly winds. You know. Creepy horror movie stuff.”

“It wasn’t that bad.” Liz told them as she rejoined them, her complexion just a bit more ashen than before. “I should go home. Tell Marty I’ll grab the books tomorrow.” Then she froze. Kyle jumped up, prepared to aim her to avoid spraying his father with puke or to catch her if she fell over. She did the latter. Kyle caught her and eased her to the floor. No one else in the bar even batted an eye. They’d all seen it too many times already. Everyone just figured she was epileptic. It only lasted a few seconds and she recovered quickly. “I’m okay.”

“Did you see something?” Kyle whispered.

“Nothing special. Just a ghost.” Liz shrugged. “It can wait a day.” She took Jim’s arm when he offered it and they both walked her home. Jim helped her off with her shoes and got her a glass of water from her kitchen. He glanced around. “Looks cozy.”

“It’s perfect.” Liz laughed humorlessly. She took the pen and paper when Kyle handed them to her. She jotted down the information. “Could you call them?”

“Yeah.” Kyle took her phone from her and noted the missed calls on her screen but didn’t say anything about it.

“So, that happens a lot?” Jim asked gently, concern pouring out of his blue eyes.

“This one was easy.” Liz let that lifeless laugh float out of her mouth again.

“They get worse?”

“Much worse.” She saw the worry on his face. “Sometimes once a week. Sometimes once a month. Sometimes three in a day. It’s not a huge deal. I help save lives.”

“Yeah. I can see that. What did the doctor say?”

“She wants me in for more tests but there’s nothing going on that she can tell. It’s not medical or physical. It’s supernatural.” She gave him the warmest smile she could muster up. “I’ll be fine. It’s just annoying.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be living alone.” Jim chided her. “Surely there are some single women who could use a roommate.”

“I like my cottage. I’m getting a little set in my ways. Dealing with a stranger and all this stuff, it will be too much. Bobby is usually just over there or if I’m at work, Marty’s there and sometimes Kyle.”

“Hey Liz, Dean wants to know if there’s anything else he should know about the ghost.” Kyle called over from where she was using his cell phone.

She schooled her face not to give anything away. “Well, it wasn’t wearing a nurses’ outfit.”

“Okay…” Kyle made a face but relayed the message. He heard a huge intake of breath and then a long release. “Those were her words.”

“Alright, then. Is she okay?”

“It was short. 20 seconds, maybe. Not a big deal.”

“Good.” Dean nodded to himself. “Tell her, I’ll take care of it.”

“Good luck, man.” Kyle hung up the phone. “Hey Dad, I’m gonna run back and let Marty know that Liz won’t be working tomorrow either.”

“Kyle, no.” Liz whined.

“He can do without you for two nights. You need to rest… especially with whatever salmonella Billy passed around in those cookies.” He chastised her. He turned to his father. “She always does this. She’ll work through the flu.”

“I do not.” She complained.

“Well, it sounds like something you would do.” Jim patted her hand. “Tell you what, I’ll come look in on you while Kyle is at work.”

“Well, then, when you put it that way.” She smiled at him.

Five days later…
(July 5, 2010)

“Everything’s in working order.” Dr. Meyer shrugged. “It’s not in your head. All the tests are back from the last time. I’m still going to run everything we took from today.”

“Because of the stomach virus?”

“You don’t have a stomach virus.” Dr. Meyer frowned at her patient. She flipped through the paperwork from the lab.

Liz waited for the doctor to continue while she nibbled on a cracker. She hadn’t eaten anything decent in days and the Fourth had been torture with all the good smelling food, knowing she couldn’t keep any of it down. “I’ll just be glad when whatever this is passes.”

“You didn’t know?”

“Know what?” She shook her head slowly, breaking off a tiny piece of cracker with her teeth.

“Liz… you’re the one that told me.”

“Told you what?”

“Last week. We were talking and you were looking out the window.”

“What?”

“You don’t remember your last visit?”

“Yeah. You took forever to come back from the lab.”

“Liz… I went to the lab twice while you were here last time. We sat and chatted in between.”

Her breathing began to pick up. “You mean I had an episode in here?”

“You told me not to do the test because you already knew.”

“Knew what, exactly? What test?”

--

Dean groggily rose from bed when Sam walked in, wide-eyed and damned cheery, with lunch. “How long did I sleep?”

“You were threatening Snuggles every half an hour. I passed out at four and you were still insistent that you could chant the evil little bear off the TV.”

“What the fuck did I drink?”

“First came the Irish Car Bombs. I think there were three of them. Somehow you were still standing, then it was the shots of Pucker. You and the blonde did those for nearly an hour. I don’t want to know how many. Then came… the pyramid of mixed drinks.” Sam thought about it. “A banderas and the bull rider I blame for the late night, two submarinos, a mexicola and a hole in one. So it was about one when I yanked you off the bar but you took a pint of…” He knew the beer. He’d drank it a few times. What the hell was the name of it? “No… it was a Michelada. I’d suggest you puke sooner than later.”

“No wonder my mouth tastes like a cat pissed in it.” Dean shook his head. That hurt. Fuck, did that hurt. “I didn’t take anyone home?”

“Surprisingly enough? No. You kept it in your pants and you ticked off about six girls in your abnormal interest in ordering drinks you’ve never had before instead of taking down their numbers.”

“Pucker…which ones were those?”

“You said they tasted like candy.”

“Right…” he grinned, “Jolly ranchers.” Then he thought about the thickly sweet taste. “Hold on.” He scrambled for the bathroom.

“That’s so gross.” Sam shook his head and bit into his sandwich.

Dean had to take his mind off puking or he’d never stop. “So, this Snuggles bitch?”

“Yeah… you said he was just possessed and the right incantation could bring him down. You tried it all night.”

“What time is it?” He immediately began puking again.

“One.”

“We need to be anywhere?”

“Just about to check your voicemail… since you know… you never answer your phone anymore.” He put the phone to his ear, pushing buttons as prompted. He heard Dean heave twice more as he listened to all the new voicemails. He was careful to disconnect before the saved messages started playing. No need to sully his mind with that playground. “You up for a poltergeist?”

“Where abouts?” More heaving.

“Lawrence. A leisurely drive? It’s not urgent right this second. Missouri is keeping an eye on it… but in light of your condition, speeding might not be good.”

“Sounds g-” Dean hit the handle. “This is so nasty.”

“You’ve been hitting the bars pretty hard lately.”

“No, I haven’t. Last night was the first in a-” So gross. He panted into the bowl for a minute. “Month.”

“Seriously? You got a bug then?”

“I don’t know. Oh g-”

Two days later…
(July 7, 2010)

Liz hugged Jim goodbye. Sent messages on to her parents. Watched Betty Lou and Kyle bid farewell to the man who waved as his truck pulled away. She walked slowly back to her cottage. Took a hard look at Valor Springs. Examined its faults and favors. She examined her cottage with its one big room with barely a division for the kitchen. Her tiny bathroom. Her cheery curtains and her homemade doilies. Her too big and empty bed. She had taken an extra day from Marty just to get her head together. She thought maybe he understood. He had liked Jim. They had gotten along. Marty had stared at her like she underestimated herself, that half disappointed fatherly look. Maybe she did. Who knew what the older men had chatted about while she was working and Kyle was running around?

--

Dean tapped the book against his knee for nearly an hour, until Sam threatened to throw it out the window. So he stared at it. He had liked it. Had liked that the girl kept a candle burning in the window for the hero to find his way home by. That she hadn’t had a clue how long it would be, or if he’d make it home, and she had done it anyway. He pulled out his cell phone, messing with the settings at first, and then sent a three word message.

“I miss you.”

Two hours later, he got a reply. “Yeah, I miss you, too.”

That was all he needed to calm down. Lawrence crept up on him. He didn’t realize they were there until Sam pulled them into the Lawrence Roadside Inn. Then he stared at his phone.

“Does it do tricks? Does, like, an army of gremlins come shooting out and do a scaly rendition of Our Town?”

“It’ll bean you in the face if you don’t go get us a room before that vacancy light shuts off.” He watched his brother climb out of the car with his hands up. Okay, so maybe he was a little pissy. Feeling bad about it, he dialed the number from memory. He locked up when he didn’t get her voicemail. “Oh… hey.”

“Hi.”

“You sound about as crappy as I look. You okay?” He frowned at the windshield, keeping an eye on Sam’s progress at the front desk.

“Been better.”

“I didn’t mean what all I said that night. I was worried about Sam… he gives me plenty reason to worry.”

“Yeah, I know. I didn’t… Dean… can we just put that behind us? It’s really good to hear your voice.”

“You got Stan to phone in your last vision. I had… I… I figured you’d talk to me if you had another one.” He averted his eyes to the side view mirror but quickly shifted again to stare out at the parking lot.

“I didn’t think you wanted to talk to me… and when you asked about the vision instead…”

“That’s just me in work mode. You’ve never seen that before. I get pretty… focused.”

“I guess not. I catch you when you’re not hunting. I guess when you take off for a hunt, I just understand. I never really thought about you being so focused on a hunt… or you know… you needing to be so focused.”

“I hope you don’t have to see me that way. Sam says that I get like my Dad when I’m on a hunt. Maybe I do. He hunted for a long time that way.”

“Yeah. It’s really good to talk to you again, Dean.” She hesitated.

“Sammy’s coming. I’ll check in after the hunt.” He breathed. “Liz…”

“I…”

“It’s a no-brainer, just like the last one.”

“Okay.”

“Were you going to say something?”

“No. It can wait.”

She hung up without a goodbye. Dean let Sam drive them around to the back of the building to their room. He felt better than he had in weeks… but he still looked like shit. “I call first shower.”

“Damn it.” Sam muttered.

TBC

Part 45 – Three days later…
(July 11, 2010)

“It’s a little more complicated than we thought.” Dean admitted. “You haven’t gotten anything?”

“No.” Liz shook her head into the phone. “Not even a blur.”

“Damn. I know I said… It’s the hunt. I promise.”

“I know. You want to talk about it?”

“It was just supposed to be a poltergeist but this psychic went in and there are like nine of them and some of them are just ghosts. It’s one thing to desecrate one or two graves on a hunt but trying to do five is just not possible. And then there are the four fucking poltergeists who keep throwing shit at people. When we showed up, they must have known what we were going to do because they stepped up and threw a two-year-old tantrum.”

“Sounds crazy.”

“No. Crazy is the poltergeist who wanted to pin me to the floor and fuck me. Four of them pulling me in different directions is just…”

There was no way to stop the startled laugh and then the giggle when his words processed fully. “Seriously? You’re attracting poltergeists now?”

“Very funny.”

“Did you get her number? Is she going to call you?”

“It’s not funny.” Dean bit out.

“Yes, it is.” Sam smiled from the other bed where he was nursing a bump on his head. “None of the poltergeists jumped my bones.”

“Shut up.” Dean muttered then got up to exit the room. “So, we’re trying to make our move tonight. We called in a favor. Couple of hunters to help dig the graves. We’ll do the poltergeist crap tomorrow in the morning.”

“It sounds dangerous, Dean.”

“You doing okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m nice and safe in my little cottage.” Liz moved to the window to stare out at the rusting pile of Impala parts in the yard.

“I don’t know when I’m heading back through.” Dean cleared his throat and let the heat of the night drench him. “I uh… I’ve been avoiding going through but if it’s okay with you… I could… drag the Impala back into Bobby’s for a tune up or something.”

“You’re making up excuses?”

“Maybe.”

“Are you assuming to just jump into bed when you get here?”

“Aw, come on. I know that I was a jerk but… it doesn’t have to be like that. I just want to…” He cursed under his breath. “You’re gonna make me do it, aren’t you. You’re evil. Way eviler than any poltergeist. This is my first time doing this. Okay? I want that taken into consideration.” He took a deep breath and couldn’t find the charm to save his life. “I miss you. I’m glad we’re talking again. If all I get is a sandwich and a beer and some laughs… that’s all I get. I’d still show up.”

Liz shut her eyes. She knew, felt it in her bones, that he was being honest. “Dean… I have something to tell you.”

“Oh god… did you hook up with Billy? He looks like the kind of guy to have diseases.”

“Okay, shut up. Never mind.”

“I’m sorry. Come on. Tell me.”

“No more jokes. I’m serious.”

“Okay. Hit me.” Dean stared off into the night and listened to her shaky breaths. The longer it took for her to speak, the more worried he got.

“I’ve been going to see Dr. Meyer.”

“Yeah, Stan told me.”

“Well, he doesn’t know this. I had a vision while I was at her office a while back. I didn’t remember. When I found out, I had some more tests done.”

His heart fell to his stomach. “But you’re okay, right? It’s just more weird visions. No big deal. Right?”

“There’s nothing wrong with me, actually. Aside from some nausea, I’m perfectly healthy.”

“So, what’s making you so serious?”

“It’s the reason for the nausea, Dean.”

“The reason for the…”

“We haven’t been careful in our… interludes. I haven’t been and I know you haven’t been… I guess I have to just…” Liz took a deep breath and braced herself. “I’m pregnant, Dean.”

Those three words took a few moments to sink in. His brain had become instantly fogged over. “How… um… when…”

“I’m pretty sure it was sometime in that week I kept you in bed.” When he didn’t say anything, she swallowed down a lump. “I haven’t done much since I found out. I’m still kind of adjusting to the news. Apparently, I told Dr. Meyer that it was going to be a boy. I’m… I’m keeping the baby, Dean.”

“No. Yeah. Of course.” Dean blurted out. “A boy?” The floor fell out of his world but as soon as he registered the meaning of her words, it started falling back into place. “I’m gonna have a son?”

“If you don’t…” She swallowed down a huge lump.

“No, I mean, yeah. Aw, shit.” He took the first breath in a couple of minutes. “I’m messing this up. I’m sorry.”

“No, I know it’s a big deal but…”

“I just… I never thought about it. I mean, I joke about it but… a son?” He let out a nervous laugh as his mind fully wrapped around the words. “I’m gonna be a dad.”

“So, are you okay with this?”

“Yeah, yeah. When is? I mean, what’s the… I obviously don’t know what needs to be done or what I have to know. Help me out here, Liz.” He felt his face was smiling but his mind was still a mess. “I just…”

“I’m due in January. It’s a boy. That’s all we do know.”

“We also know he’s going to be a handsome devil.”

Liz laughed genuinely. There he was. The stammering idiot was replaced with the Dean Winchester that she had come to know and tolerate. “Of course, I’m just hoping he inherits my ego.”

“No. He’s a Winchester. He’ll be just like his old man.”

“So… we’re okay?”

“After this job, I’m coming.”

“Yeah. We’ll talk then.”

“Don’t talk to Sammy, I want to tell him.” Dean froze up a bit. “Liz, I… we’ll talk when I get there.”

“Yeah.”

“Winchester! We got some digging to do!” A hunter called across the lot.

--

Liz hung up the phone. She didn’t know how it was going to work. He seemed to have taken it well. She still wasn’t sure how she felt but she knew it would work out. It had to.

The next day…
(July 12, 2010)

Dean hummed all the way into Missouri's waiting room. She was with a client so he had to wait and wait and wait. He couldn’t sit because he was still covered in dirt. He was just supposed to be in and out then meet Sam on the way out of town. Finally, they emerged and Dean could follow Missouri into the kitchen where she was still gathering supplies for him. She pressed her lips together to hide a smile as she watched him. "Congratulations, Dean."

"For what?" He shook his head at her, a smile creeping out because he couldn't contain it.

"You're so happy, you're humming and grinning like a maniac. Even if I wasn't psychic, I would at least know something. It's either a girl or good news but for you… I know it's both. You got the girl and she gave you the good news."

Dean could only grin wider. "It's gonna be a boy."

"Another Winchester man on the way. I heard you singing our song. You better teach it to him." She laughed to herself as she finished bundling up his supplies.

"Our song?" He frowned at her.

"You and me… Well, you were young. You didn't remember me when you and your brother first came to see me. I don't see you remembering since then. Hurry on out. You and Sam have things to do. Give my love to your brother." She pushed him towards the door with the parcel in his hands. "And Dean, you'd better bring that boy by after he's born."

Dean left with his supplies. It wasn't until after they had sent four nasty poltergeists to hell that it had sunk in. The song he swore his mother had taught him… Missouri had sung to him in that time before the Winchesters had left Lawrence for good.

Sam watched his brother mutter to himself for twenty minutes before he spoke. "So, what happened? Did the job not go to your expectations?"

"It's not about that." Dean bit out. "It's nothing." He cursed under his breath for a few long moments. "You can't tell Missouri anything. She knows everything before you say and do it."

"So she knows… what?"

"About Liz." Dean admitted.

"What happened to Liz?" Sam sat up straight in his seat.

Dean cursed to himself again. He had wanted to tell his brother first. He didn't want it to be part of a hateful rant but what could he do now? "This is the first time I'm saying it out loud, Sammy. I swear to you that I wanted to tell you first. Missouri just… took the words from me."

"Okay. What happened to Liz?"

"Well, strictly speaking… I happened to Liz."

"Meaning what exactly?"

"Liz is pregnant, Sammy." Dean looked to his brother for the reaction. Sam just blinked at his brother. "It's my kid… A boy." He offered his brother a smile. "You're gonna have a nephew in… five or six months, I forget."

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa." Sam let out a surprised laugh and turned to face his brother as fully as possible. "That's what all the secrecy has been about? You and Liz hooked up?"

"Have been…" Dean admitted. "Hooking up… you know… for a while, now."

"Well?"

"Well what? That's it. That's the news."

"Are you gonna…"

"I don’t know. I want that. I think she wants that but… I don't think it's safe."

"Well, that's bull shit." Sam shook his head. "Do you love her?"

"I don't know, Sammy. I'm not good at all the touchy-feely crap. I know… that it's not passing anytime soon."

"More bull shit." Sam could not believe his big brother. "This is Lillian we're talking about. Not one of your one-night stands."

"I know!" Dean barked out. "I haven't had a long term anything with anyone ever. This is the first one and… it's been months since we were there and she's… she's pregnant with my son, Sammy. My son." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He had been happy when Liz had first told him but it was becoming a bad idea the longer it was in his head with all the thoughts about options for life with a child. "I don't know what I’m going to do but I can try to keep them safe. I can try to be there for him like Dad was for us."

--

Liz made small talk for a while but she knew she was just delaying the inevitable. Once she told her mother, the hard part was over. Then she could call everyone else on her list and most of them wouldn’t exactly be happy but her mother would be the one to judge everyone else by. "There's actually a reason, I called, Mom."

"Is something wrong?"

"No… no. Not really. It's just… Well, I'll just say it… I'm pregnant."

"Honey?" Nancy sank down into a chair. "Pregnant? I didn't know that you were seeing anyone."

"I’m not… not really. Not dating, per se but… there's someone that I've been exclusive with. He's… well, he was… ecstatic when I told him. That has to be good, right?"

"Do you love this man?"

"I could, I think… I just… I hesitate to use that word."

"Is he going to marry you?""I don't know. We didn't discuss it. When I see him, I'm sure we'll talk."

"When you see him? Is he a trucker, Liz?"

"No. He's not a trucker. You've met him actually."

"Sam Winchester?" Nancy breathed a sigh of relief. She'd met Sam. He was a nice young man.

"No… Not Sam Winchester. It's Dean Winchester, actually."

Nancy shut her eyes. She had taken to the man well enough but anyone could see that Dean Winchester was just not the type of man to settle down. She bit back every chiding thought and focused on her daughter. “I’ll… break the news to your father. If you need anything, call me. I might not be the expert at casual or long distance relationships but I did have a baby once.”

Liz wondered for a moment what it cost her mother not to berate her for getting pregnant outside a committed relationship but wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. “Yeah, I know. I’ll keep you updated.”

TBC

Part 46 – the next day
(July 13, 2010)

Dean kept his eyes on the road. He and Sam were having the longest chick-flick moment of all time and they weren’t really fighting it. Sam laughed suddenly. “Do you remember that time I decided to try some of Dad’s orange juice?”

He couldn’t have stopped the laugh if he tried. Sam had been four or five and he’d been almost ten. “God, I’ve never seen you puke that much. Oh crap. I thought it was hilarious but Dad… not so much.”

“He yelled at me so hard, I thought I was going to crap my pants.”

“Yeah, good times.” Dean laughed, remembering how hard he’d been trying not to laugh. Of course then their father had spent the rest of the day making sure that Sam was okay and trying to figure out how to prevent it from happening again. “The only thing funnier was the Nair incident. I thought Dad was going to tan my hide.”

“I never realized how much I missed having him yell at me for the stupid stuff.”

“I miss his laugh the most.”

“That gravely, raspy cough?” Sam shook his head at his brother. “It was creepy.”

“No… his laugh before Mom died.” Dean grinned at memories so old they were vague blurs of impressions. “Dad could laugh and shake you to your bones.” He caught his brother’s eye. “If he was holding you, which he used to do a lot.”

“He laughed after she died.” Sam protested. “He laughed at me all the time when I messed up maneuvers. At you, when you were drinking underage and he had to punish you.”

“But it wasn’t the same, Sammy.” Dean shook his head. “Being a dad gave him that laugh. I’m sorry you can’t remember it… being a widower… took his laugh away. He laughed with the hunters and with Bobby and Marty but it wasn’t the same. Part of him died when Mom died.”

“Yeah, I guess I figured but… I never had anything to compare with.”

“I’m not gonna lie… I’m scared out of my mind, Sammy.”

“I believe you.”

“Yeah…” Dean eyed his brother. “Cause you let me get away with calling you Sammy for the last hour.”

Sam had to laugh. He’d let it slide because he’d gotten his brother to open up for once. “I’m a man now… Sammy just doesn’t fit.”

“I’m your big brother. You’ll always be Sammy to me… cause I still see the chubby 12 year old when I look at you.”

“Shut up, jerk.”

“Bitch.

--

Kyle shook his head at his friend. "Wait… I thought you were mourning double time or something and now you're telling me that you're knocked up and that it's not some kind of immaculate conception."

"Umm… not mourning. Am pregnant." She figured if she limited eye contact that it would be easier to say but it wasn’t.

"So… who's the guy?"

"Well…"

"Just some guy at the bar?"

"Well, no. Actually, he's a friend and it's been going on a while but I… wasn't, you know, ready for a relationship…" That was a load of crap, even to her own ears.

He scoffed at her and tossed his coffee cup at the nearest trash can. "Liz? Who is it?"

"Dean… Winchester."

"What?” He blinked rapidly at her. As if that would change the sounds her words had made in his ears. “I had you on a pedestal and you just dived right off. Dean Winchester? I thought you were smarter than to fall for his lines."

"Well, he didn't give me lines."

"Well, is there some semblance of affection?"

"Sure…"

"Liz, come on… That guy is a dog." Kyle cursed under his breath. He had several ways to torture the guy without touching him. If he pelted the guy with pebbles without touching them… eventually the guy would start bleeding and there’d be no way to tie it back to him.

"No, he isn't… anymore. He's been going through a really rough… decade or three."

"Seriously, though."

"Well, whatever your opinion of Dean… I can't uncrack the egg now."

Later that night…

Dean swallowed down the lump in his throat. He watched her move, tired and glowing. He took a deep breath, walked inside and took a seat at the bar. He felt her hand on his shoulder when she walked passed but she didn’t stop. Just a light squeeze more than a slight brushing in passing. She was working. She wouldn’t stop for him… just like it was already pretty clear that he wouldn’t stop hunting for her. How in the hell were they going to bring a child into the world?

When she took her break, she took it next to him. They didn’t say a word for a long time. Liz could feel the heat of his body radiating closer to her. Even after strangely timed kisses and spur of the moment encounters, they had never been so awkward. Through all of it, never been completely comfortable either.

Liz watched him regard her with an odd expression on his face. A sort of grin but mostly just a look of intensity that started to bug the crap out of her. “What are you staring at?”

“I just never considered it… and I considered a lot of things about you from the day we met in this bar.” He didn’t reach for her or even scoot closer. “Mother of my child was just not something I considered.”

“I think consideration is out of our hands now.”

“Just wondered what’s next. Do we make some sort of agreement? Is there a shotgun to my back that I’m not aware of yet?”

“Is this your way of being chivalrous? Because it sucks a little.” After getting grief all day, she was so not in the mood for his sense of humor.

“I don’t know.” He scoffed and sat back a little.

“Nice to hear you admit it for once.”

“I can be humble. Seriously, this has never happened before… it’s never been more than a half-thought in my mind.”

“Right.” She screwed up her mouth to hide a smile. Awkward didn’t really cover the way she felt. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just…”

“You don’t do things like what we’ve been doing.”

“Right.”

“I’ve never gotten that phone call before. I don’t know how to do this.”

“Yeah, well, me either.”

--

Sam watched his brother and Liz talk. He was still a little bewildered by the whole thing. When Liz finally made her way over, he gave her a hug. “Welcome to the family.”

“I don’t know about that…” She lowered her eyes. Her upbringing said the next step was a ring but… given the circumstances, she didn’t know if that was a good idea.

“You’re carrying the future of the Winchester line. You’re family.” Sam gave her a squeeze. “You can’t escape us now.”

“I seem to collect relatives.”

“Well, whatever happens now… I’ll always be there for you.”

“Thanks, Sam.”

Early the next morning…
(July 14, 2010)

Dean woke where he had fallen asleep, fully clothed, on the chair next to the window in Liz’s cottage. He worked the kink out of his neck as he sat up. His back complained but he ignored it. Liz was lying across the bed, her arms tucked beneath her. They had talked some but the silences had been huge and telling. They had no clue what they were getting themselves into.

“Liz?” He whispered, her head moved a little. After a moment, she picked up her head. “You work today?”

“Hm-hm.” She shook her head. Dean moved her over and then covered her up with the blankets before taking the other half of the bed. “Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you staying?”

“For a few days or until we get another hunt.”

“Ok.” She snuggled into her pillow. When he started to shift off the bed, she stopped him. “No, just… I need a couple more hours but… stay here.”

“Yeah, okay.” He settled his weight on the bed once more. There was no way he was getting back to sleep any time soon. Glancing around, he wished, not for the first time, Liz had a TV. Then his eyes landed on the book on the bedside table. It stared back. He wasn’t going to pick it up. That’s just what it wanted.

--

Liz woke up to feel a hand on her belly. Blinking away sleep, she could make out Dean’s face turning from a book in his hand to his hand splayed on her stomach. When he saw that she was awake, he quickly yanked his hand back and shut the book. “Dean… what were you doing?”

“Nothing.” He shook his head, his far hand sliding the book off his lap and under the blanket. Reaching across him, she yanked the book out. The cover was easily recognizable which was why she’d bought it on whim the last time she’d been to Baxter. What to Expect When You’re Expecting. “Just some light reading.”

“Uh-huh.” Liz tugged the book out and sat up. “What’d you learn?”

He picked up her hand and held up her little finger. “He’s not even this big yet.”

“Good job, Winchester.” She just stared at him for a minute as she woke up fully. “So you’ve been reading.”

“Maybe a little.” He bit out tersely, his face coloring. “I got bored and you said not to leave.”

Liz stared at her little finger. It was maybe an inch and a half in length. “So our son is this big, huh.”

“Our son.” Dean winced. “It sounds weird, right?” He looked to her for confirmation. He held the book when she replaced it in his hands. “I just keep thinking that the last time we were together would have been okay, except that I fucked it up.”

“Dean…” Liz slid a hand up his arm. “We had a fight but it was just a fight.” She rolled onto her side to look at him. “I spent years wanting an accident so I could have a baby and I never got one… until now. I can’t take this for granted. There’s no way I’d raise him without including you… unless you didn’t want to be involved.”

“It’s just weird. I know all about the anatomy of a demon-ectomy but I don’t know anything about babies or what it means to be responsible for it.”

“Sure you do. Both of you have said it. You practically raised Sam. If anything, you’re the expert between the two of us.” She winced as she adjusted for comfort. “I would probably have known about it sooner if we hadn’t been fighting. I have been changing in subtle ways.”

“Oh yeah?”

“You do know that you broke some trust with that little stunt you pulled on me. I won’t be so easily coerced into bed…” She trailed off at the smirk on his face. “Into sex, then.” She shook her head at him as she adjusted her position yet again.

His face slid into a pensive mask before he scooted down to be eye level with her. “Why choose to keep him? You could have… and never told me… found some better guy to play at father… I would have never known.”

“You are not as bad a person as you think you are. Honestly, I don’t know why but… I had a vision of him… enough to tell Dr. Meyer that it would be a boy. I don’t know what I would have done had I not known that. Do you know how long it takes to determine the sex of a baby?”

“Into the… second thing-a-ma-jig?” Dean frowned at the book between them.

“Right. I’d already be showing, have already felt him move, known he had a heartbeat.” Without even thinking about it, she scooted closer to lay her head on his shoulder. When his arms wrapped around her frame, she sighed. “What were you doing when I woke up?”

“Oh… um… I…” Dean stammered himself into a chuckle. He was being stupid was what he was doing. “It said that your body would be preparing and that the abdomen wall would be firmer and I was checking it out.”

“Yeah… he’s gonna start really growing soon. I don’t know how I made it this long without knowing except that I was puking anyway because Billy can’t cook. Camouflaged my symptoms… that and I was trying not to think about you.” His arms stiffened around her. “I just… I’ve been hurt too many times, Dean. I let you walk out on me because I was tired of being hurt that way and I figured if I just let you… that it wouldn’t hurt so much.”

“Did it work?”

“No.”

His arms relaxed a bit and he really let himself relax into the bed. “Is it too early to think of names?”

Liz picked up her head to look at him. Really look at him. She shook her head. “Why bother discussing it? I already know what name you’ll choose.”

“Cause you’re all psychic and stuff?”

“No, cause you love your dad that much.”

He averted his eyes and took a breath. “I just keep thinking that I want him to know.”

“I understand. After I told you, the first person I talked to was my mom.”

“Oh God…” Dean groaned. “She’s going to hunt me down with a shotgun, isn’t she?”

“She’s thinking about it. I don’t know how my dad has taken the news though.”

“I know he’s got a rifle.”

“Marty knows.”

“Fuck me.” Dean cursed loudly but didn’t make a move to get off the bed to save his hide. “Bobby knows, too. Those two can’t keep a secret to save their lives.” They lay silent for a long time. “There’s gonna be this person that is half me… I hope it’s the good half.” She laughed at him but didn’t say anything. “I told you that you weren’t just a girl in port, right?”

“Yes, you did.”

“I really mean that.”

“Okay.”

“I want to be here the whole time…”

“But there are evil things that need killing.”

“Yeah.”

“So…”

“What happens next? I mean, do we keep doing what we’ve been doing?”

“There’s no reason to stop but… you leave me for long periods of time.” She rubbed his side and scooted closer.

“Maybe I don’t stay gone so long… in case you need me.” When she watched his face, the laughter and lust had crept back in. “You know… for anything.”

Later that day…

Bobby handed Dean a wrench and crossed his arms. “You gonna do right by that girl, Dean?”

Dean let out a long breath as he tightened a nut. That’s what everyone wanted to know. “It’s up to her.”

“Bullshit it is.” He lowered his voice. “You got her in trouble, you fix it.”

“It’s really up to her. She’s not ready to get married.”

“Too bad. She’s pregnant.” Bobby smacked him upside the head. “Man up.”

“And if she doesn’t want me?” Dean rose to face Bobby.

“Too bad.”

“Bobby, in 1950, the guy saved the pregnant girl by marriage. It’s 2010 and Liz might be safer if she wasn’t married to me in particular.” Dean stopped the older man from comment with a wave of the wrench. “You’ve got minors like grave desecration on your record. I’m a wanted felon and alleged murderer. The name Winchester is just going to send up an alarm. I’m wanted in more than one state for more than one charge, hard enough to lock me up for a good long while… I can’t do her any good by marrying her… especially if she doesn’t even love me.”

Something flickered across the younger man’s face and that little something was the only thing that held Bobby’s tongue. “I’m not raising no babies, you better make sure she’s taken care of.”

Dean snorted and shook his head. “Right.”

--

“He’s going to marry you, right?” Marty wiped his hands on a towel and stared at his favorite waitress. “Right?”

“We haven’t discussed it.” Liz evaded the question, while she dropped a tub of dishes next to the sink.

“Why the hell not?”

“Marty, it’s not that simple.”

“It should be.”

“If life was simple, I’d never have met you or married my husband… if life were simple, I’d be back home married to Stan with a bunch of kids by now.” She let her voice rise. “It’s not simple because I ran away from home at 18, I got married right after graduation, I’ve been shot at, chased by multiple officers of many branches of the law… I was widowed at 25. My life is not simple on the most basic levels, Marty.” She stared him down. “I’m 27 years old and I’m a waitress in the middle of nowhere, having a baby with a demon hunter and I don’t even know how I feel about him. Okay. It’s not simple. I can’t give anyone an answer about it, today.”

“Okay.” Marty nodded, a little scared.

“I’m taking a break.”

“Okay.”

Liz stormed her way out of the bar, ignoring requests for refills or for orders. All she wanted to do was crawl under her covers and block out the world for half an hour to regain her balance. She was muttering to herself as she rounded Bobby’s house to get to her cottage. She ran smack into Dean, who looked about as pissed as she did. “In the cottage, now.”

“Is that an order?” Dean raised an eyebrow at her.

“Yes, it is.” Flushed from anger and the need for release, Liz led the way. The door was hardly closed before the clothes were coming off.

--

Sam looked up when the door opened and made a face. He knew they were involved, they had said it, but to see evidence in the form of touching was creepy. It was downright disturbing to see the kiss at the end of the bar. “Hey, you two, get a room. That’s how you got in trouble in the first place.”

“He’s just mad cause you fell for the hot brother.” Dean muttered, barely pulling his lips away to get the words out.

“Fell for or was ensnared by?” Liz made an actual effort to free some space between them. It was heady, the feeling of not hiding. Of expectation, of knowing something more was to come even though she didn’t know what it was. “I have to get back to work.”

“I’m working on the car.” Dean cleared his throat, straightened his shirt and ducked out the door.

Sam let out a bark of laughter. “Okay.”

--

Dinner found them sitting at a table, eating in comfortable silence… almost. Sam stared between them all during dinner. It didn’t look as cozy as what he’d witnessed earlier. There was nothing cutesy that he could tease his brother for later. And then he thought of something. “Hold on… you say that you’ve been hooking up for a while… how long are you talking? Since April?”

“Not really.” Dean cleared his throat and sat up.

“Since um…” Liz looked to Dean, who wasn’t meeting anyone’s eyes. “Thanksgiving, actually.”

“Oh… um…” Sam averted his eyes and his eyebrows shot up.

Liz shut her eyes and then set her jaw. “Dean… did I not ask you what you were telling your brother?”

“Maybe…” Dean knew he was so in for it because apparently Sam had never heard of a poker face.

She smacked him upside the head and then got up from the table to take a walk. Dean rubbed the back of his skull and then kicked his brother. Sam yelped, then bent to rub his shin. “Dude… you were talking about her all this time?”

“I embellished a little.”

“Oh yeah. A little? Those are images I don’t need in my head.” He sat back and sipped his beer. “I have enough of your sex life permanently burned in my head… I don’t need this too.”

“Oh please. What a baby.”

“I’m serious, Dean. I know the first girl you got to second base with was Sharon Douglas.”

“No, no. The first pair of boobs I saw were not on Sharon Douglas, nor were they the first ones I ever touched. We were hunting down that werewolf when we were kids. I was like… 12 or something. I missed the shot cause the chick’s shirt was shredded so badly it was a vest.” Dean shook his head. “You didn’t see it?”

“No, I was busy watching Dad shoot the werewolf.” Sam frowned at his brother but having been 7 at the time, boobs hadn’t really caught his attention as much as a roaring, drooling werewolf.

“Jess’s the first you saw?”

“No… Funny guy. I met Jess when I was 19. The first I saw were on Sharon Douglas when I was 12.”

“What?” Dean sat up.

“Yeah, I came out for a drink of water and there they were but I don’t think she noticed.”

“Dude, seriously?” He frowned at the thought of all the things he’d done with Sharon that his 12 year old brother shouldn’t have seen.

“Apparently you didn’t either. That’s also how I saw Joanna Ramos’s and Missy Highwater’s.”

“I knew it. You were a perve, just like me.”

“But I don’t give you details on the girl I’m currently screwing.”

“I said one or two things.”

“Yeah… and now… you’ve shared the intimate details with your brother about your sex life with the future mother of your child. Think about that.”

TBC

Part 47 – The next day…
(July 15, 2010)

Dean had to force himself awake to answer the door. He hadn’t slept that hard in a long while. Yanking on a shirt, he opened the door a crack. “Sammy?”

“Hey… um…” Sam winced as he realized that Liz must still be asleep. “I picked up a pattern in Florida. I just… wanted to let you know I was going to check it out.”

“What?” Dean stepped outside, frowning at his brother.

“It’s just a Vampire nest. No big deal.” Sam shrugged, his bag already packed to go.

“Let me get my stuff together.”

“Dean… I’m going alone.”

“No.” Dean shook his head and turned to go inside to retrieve his clothes and his bag.

“Dean.” Sam hissed but stayed in the doorway. “You can’t be running all over right now.”

“You can’t go out there alone.” Dean gestured to the world outside. “New York was a trap and a clever one, if we hadn’t had a heads up… we’d both be dead.”

“You’re just going to leave her?”

“We’re coming back.” Dean bit out as he jammed his clothes into his bag. “Wait for me in the car.”

Sam shut the door a little too hard. Dean stilled his movements. He looked over at Liz, who was lying still but with her eyes open. “Be careful.”

“We’re coming back. He’s determined to go. I need to be there.”

“Yeah, I know.” She nodded.

Two days later…
(July 17, 2010)

Liz listened to the voice on the other end with relief. “So it’s really no big deal?”

“Right.” Sam reassured her. “He’s got a concussion but he’s got a hard head.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Listen, Liz… there’s another reason I had wanted to come out and do this on my own. I was going to make a stop on my way back. Having Dean with me… it changes my plans. Could you do something for me?”

“Sam?”

A week later…
(July 24, 2010)

Liz held her barely flat stomach. She placed flowers on the marker. She frowned at the dates. Mary Winchester had been only 29 years old when she had died. She placed another set on the freshly installed marker next to that one. John Winchester had died 23 years and 4 days after his wife.

"Mr., Mrs. Winchester. I'm Liz Evans. I'm a friend of your sons. Mr. Winchester, we actually met once… though not formally. I know it's a little insane, since neither of you are really in there but I wanted to share the news with someone who would be glad to hear it. Dean and I are going to have a baby. I have it on pretty good authority that it's going to be a boy. Dean's very happy."

"Giddy is more like it." An almost childlike voice spoke from behind Liz. "Pardon me, sweetie. I didn't mean to interrupt but this is a small town and when I heard someone had bought John a stone, I had to see who it was."

"Did you know the Winchesters?" Liz asked, carefully.

"I still do. I don't suppose either of them mentioned Missouri."

"What happened in Missouri?"

"No, that's my name. Missouri Mosley."

"Liz Evans."

"Oh… I thought it might be you. You turned my Dean on his ear. He needed it. When I found out he put a bun in someone's oven, I never dreamed you’d be so sweet. Dean's a bit of a tart." She tilted her head at the bewildered girl. "But you like some spice in your life."

"You're the psychic." Liz blurted out. "I'm sorry. Sam never mentioned you by name but he did talk about you… You're the one that helped them in their old house."

"You really aren't like me. Your… gift is more like Sam's."

"My visions are a bit more varied than his are." Liz shrugged. "I touch someone or something and I get a sense for it. If I try hard enough… I can… force it but it tires me out."

"How?"

Liz shook Missouri's hand and took a step back. "You loved John Winchester. Grew to love him over the years. He never loved you the way you loved him." She shut her eyes against the sudden headache. "But he loved you enough to hide your connection to him. So the demon wouldn't come after you." She pitched forward and caught herself on a headstone. "You two were good friends. You're the only friend of his that never ran him off or threatened him bodily harm… or meant it when you did."

Missouri rushed to catch the girl and set her back on her feet. "Honey, your gift is not natural, is it?"

"Isn't that why they call it supernatural?"

"Come on. John and Mary will be there later. You need to rest some."

--

Dean checked his phone again and ran a hand over his face as he traced the path on his map. “They wouldn’t risk doubling back to a place where they’d been run off, right?”

“Not if they’re smart.” Sam shook his head at the map. He had the feeling they’d chase the vampires in circles if they didn’t find out where the main nest was.

“Then they only have one choice; to head down the peninsula.” He glanced at his phone again. Sam scoffed at him and shook his head, pushing off the car. “What?”

His brother was truly clueless. Sam turned to his brother. “You check that phone again and I’ll ram it down your throat.”

“What?” Dean blinked at his brother.

“Did Cassie mess you up so badly that you can’t admit you have feelings for Liz?”

“Who the hell said anything about Cassie?”

“You’re avoiding the subject.”

“I like her.” Dean admitted. “I sleep with her… repeatedly, you know. It’s not so bad. I don’t know what it is.”

“Figure it out, cause come the New Year… you’re going to be tied to her forever.”

--

Liz came to with a start. The air smelled good and the bed was soft. “I hear you scaring yourself in there. Come on out and have something to eat. The bathroom is on your left if you want to wash up before dinner.”

Missouri, Liz recalled. Dragging herself up, she followed the directions to the bathroom to wash off her smeared make-up. Then she followed her nose to the kitchen table. “That smells good.”

“I would hope so. Looking at you, you would never know you were carrying any bun in there.”

“Evening sickness…” Liz explained, as she sat down. “The doctor says my weight is fine.”

“You are adorable, honey. Not Dean’s usual type and I’m glad of it.” Missouri set two plates on the table. “Do you have a place to stay for the night?”

“I hadn’t gotten that far, actually.” She admitted.

“It was really sweet of you to get John a headstone.”

“I didn’t… Sam did but he didn’t want Dean to know yet. He’s…”

“Not been dealing very well, I know.”

“Sam says he’s refused to even see his mother’s grave.” Liz told her as she contemplated taking a bite just to enjoy the flavor. “Dean… is doing better but it’s hard to tell.”

“Honey, he’s always been that way. Ever since he was a goofy little, freckle-faced five-year-old. He plays but he’s got a lot going on behind that smile.”

“Yeah.” Liz nodded to herself and chanced a bite to hide her smile.

“Yeah, I guess you would know that.” Missouri gave her a sly smile. “If someone had told me that he’d grow out of that goofy phase, I might have insisted John stay longer to instill some respect in that boy.”

Liz looked up at her host. “John did fine. The boys are… chivalrous when it counts. Sam insisted he’d take care of me if Dean… shirks his responsibilities… but…”

“Dean won’t do that.” Missouri tried to hide her enormous smile. “He was giddy when I saw him, broadcasting without saying a word.” The smile only lasted a short while before it was a laugh. “How many people are holding a shotgun to his back?”

“Only everyone.” Liz laughed finally. “Oh my God. My boss, my friends, their bosses… my parents if they could get here quick enough.”

“Do you see them often?” Missouri’s face set in a frown as she read all the vulnerability. “Not since high school, huh. You love them but you can’t go back there.”

“My friends and I fell apart when my husband died. We split up. We had to, to cope. They needed their families and I needed to stay away.” Liz smiled with a harsh laugh. “I had actually wanted my visions gone for awhile… and they were but when I started getting them again, I was relieved.”

“You thought you could give back a gift?”

“No… you were right… I wasn’t born this way. I became this way and when Max died, I thought the parts he’d given me would die too. They’re still there but now they come with headaches and fireworks.” She stared down into her plate. “But it’s comforting that I still have them.”

“I won’t pretend to know about you and your husband but I know what Dean thought he knew… what Sam knows. His existence crossed borders on this earth.” Missouri reached for Liz’s hand; Liz didn’t hesitate to hand it over. “I don’t know the details but I think you can figure them out. Whatever your husband was… he was part human and that left him open to human influences in the supernatural world. He tapped into it more than once. He passed some of that onto you. Don’t fight it. That’s what causes the headaches, the seizures. Part of you is fighting the evolution of your gift.” She took a moment before retracting her hand. “I knew you were powerful but I didn’t know that you were still growing. You made some excellent contacts in the hunting world. No one knows about you. Keep it that way. Marty and Bobby are sweet men. They will protect you with their lives. Bobby especially. He lost that dog of his and he ain’t been the same since.”

“What happened to Rumsfeld? He never said.” Liz frowned suddenly. Clear as she could remember, the dog had just not been there one day.

“Demon killed that sweet dog.” Missouri shook her head. “I’ve never met the men but I’ve spoken to Marty once. I knew them through John.”

“Sweet dog?” Liz laughed. “You’ve never met Rumsfeld, have you? I did… Once. That was enough but Bobby loved that dog. He scared the crap out of me, though.”

“Dean loved that dog.”

“Dean would.” Liz bit her lip. “He also sleeps with a machete under his pillow.”

“Your… fondness for Dean carries you through a lot of days.”

“Especially lately. I don’t know what I expected when I told him but he surprised me in a good way. I can’t say I know what we’re doing exactly but… he’s trying… hard, to keep it together, just like me.”

“I will tell you something about Dean. He doesn’t try. He does. If it doesn’t work… you’ll only know because you’re psychic or because he tells you.”

--

Dean shook as he lowered his machete. Warm blood spattered everywhere. He spit before he dared take a breath. “Sammy?”

“I’m good.” Came the weak reply from across the room.

“We torch it… then we shower, then we split. In that order. Don’t swallow any of that shit. Spit until you can’t taste but don’t swallow. We’ll drink holy water when we get back to the car.” Dean got moving and didn’t stop until he was drenched and relatively clean. Then he tossed a match into the house that Sam had just soaked with gasoline. It went up and he climbed into the Impala to wait for Sam. He checked his phone and cursed. He didn’t care if Sam heard him make the call. “Liz… I know we’re taking longer than I said we would but the job is done. I’m heading back.”

“Pussy.” Sam muttered with a smile as he dropped his saturated body into the passenger seat. “You finally called her?”

“I’m surprised she hasn’t been up my ass about not calling…” Then Dean flicked through his call log and turned to his brother. “Stupid. What’d you do that for?”

“Cause I knew you weren’t going to call her until it was done. She shouldn’t be worried you’re dead if you’re not.” Sam yanked a book out of his bag and thumped his brother on the head with it. “Do your research. Stress on a mother is stress on a baby inside the mother.”

“I already read this book.” Dean tossed it back hard enough to make Sam wince. He started the engine and turned the car onto the road they had come up. They had to hit the freeway before someone saw the smoke and called in the fire brigade.

“You already read this book.” Sam held it up. “When?”

“Dunno. Last week?” Dean shrugged, shivering a little. “Little Johnny is this big.” He held up his little finger. “He’s fully formed.”

“Little Johnny?” Sam barked out a laugh but quickly sobered. “Yeah… little Johnny. You clear that by his mother?”

“She’s the one who told me what I would name him.” Dean shrugged. “It’s like… I’m happy but I’m terrified. Like when you went away, I was pissed and sad but I was proud, too. You know?”

“Look. I’ve been ragging and I shouldn’t. I don’t know what I would do if a girl I was seeing just… sprung something like this when there’s not a commitment beforehand.” Sam empathized now that he had some distance from it. “It’s complicated but it’s not bad.”

“Right. It’s workable right? I mean… I can still do what I do and the kid will have a half-way normal existence. I won’t be dragging him along to hunt shit down. He’ll hear about it, learn about it, but he can… live the way you wanted.”

“But being an absent father?”

“Well… I can’t just stop hunting. I’ll get lazy and complacent and then a demon will sneak up my ass and kill me and my kid and my… baby’s mama.” He tried not to wince as those last two words came out but he hadn’t thought through that sentence.

“You don’t even know what to call her, do you?”

“Shut up.”

Two Days later…
(July 26, 2010)

Liz nodded to her father’s voice. He was concerned. He was upset. He was a little proud. “So… yeah, Dad… I’m going to stay up here. Dean’s going to be around.”

“Okay.” He nodded into the phone on his end. “Just promise me that you won’t marry him just because you’re pregnant. If it’s not a lasting match, don’t try to force it. If you need any help, just ask. And make sure you call your mother twice a week. She’s nervous and finding projects. She wants to crochet a blanket for the baby.”

“But she doesn’t crochet.”

“She’s taking a class. So… is green okay?”

“Green is fine. It’s a boy.”

“A boy huh… but… how far along did you say you were?” Jeff frowned as he counted in his head. “Isn’t it too early for that?”

“Yeah, it is… about a month early to see in an ultrasound.” Liz admitted. There was always going to be a place where she had to stop and tell her parents the truth. It might as well be now. “Apparently… I had a vision and I told the doctor. I don’t really remember doing it but… I trust her.”

“What does that mean, that you’re still having visions?”

“That it’s a permanent part of me, Dad.”

“Does Dean know about this?”

“Yes, he does. He knows everything I do. He doesn’t understand it anymore than I do. He… um… he’s been helping me to resolve the issues I sometimes come across.”

“So… when Max died, they didn’t stop. I mean… you didn’t just start getting them again.”

“Right.” Liz had to mash down all the feelings that she was disappointing her father. “Anyway, Dean’s on his way into town, now. We’re going to talk and we have… roughly six months to get the details down.”

“Yeah… there’s a lot of planning and you do need to listen to your mother’s advice on it.” He took a deep breath. “Jeff is a good name for a boy.”

She giggled. “Okay. Your vote will be submitted but I think Dean has his heart set on John.”

“John, huh.”

“It was his father’s name.” Liz took a breath. “You and Mom will be the only grandparents,” she stated as simply as possible. “So, no worries about competing with the other grandpa, Dad.”

“Well, I suppose I’ll just hold out for the next boy.”

“Dad… can I get through this pregnancy first?”

That sent him into nervous laughter. “I suppose you’re right.” He was quiet for a moment. “So, it’s set in stone then? My grandson is John Winchester?”

“I think so… but of course there is half a year before it becomes official.”

“Well, I can’t compete with Guardian Angel Grandpa, now can I?”

“Dad, are you pouting?”

Jeff sighed heavily. “I just wish I knew this guy better, sweetie. I’ve met him exactly twice and he was impersonating a federal officer the first time.”

“Yeah… I wouldn’t go putting out any announcements with either of our names, Dad.”

He shut his eyes and waited but Liz wasn’t offering that bit of information. “And why is that?”

“Well, we’re both kind of on the FBI’s most wanted list.”

“Should I ask why?”

“The feds don’t know that Max is dead. So they still think I’m an alien.”

“And my future grandchild’s father?”“Well, his record is a bit longer than mine but he’s wanted for murder, which he didn’t actually commit because he can’t be in two places at once. There’s armed robbery but again… two places at once, mistaken identities. So, he didn’t do it.”

“Okay… new rule. I don’t want to know anything about Dean Winchester that can’t be spoken about in the presence of law enforcement.”

“Okay, Dad… I think I hear him pulling up now. I’ll call you later.”

“Alright sweetie, take care.”

Liz took a breath as she hung up the phone. She waited. A car door shut and then there was a light rap before the door swung open. Dean spotted her and nodded. Liz set the phone down. “What’d you do? Speed all the way?”

“Of course.” He scoffed at her.

“Tired?”“Nah.”

“So you made Sam walk to the hotel?” She pointed to the window where Sam was getting his things together to make the two block jaunt.

“He can use the exercise.”

TBC

AN: I have been slowing down a bit in my posts but I was 30 chapters ahead when I started posting this story and now I'm a paltry 10 or so ahead and it's kind of freaking me out. hehe I'm trying to finish it but... um... a plot bunny snuck into my room and had its babies under my bed and there are lots of ideas distracting me... so uh... my betas want to kill me and so does my coworker because they all want me working on other stuff. hehe

Part 48 – That night…
(July 26, 2010)

Liz was used to sharing her bed. Max crowded and hugged. Dean stayed in one spot, either hugging the pillow or hugging her as if she were a pillow. This was different. Dean lay next to her but didn’t touch her. He stared at her but didn’t touch her. “Would you quit it?”

“What?” A smile burst across his face, lighting it up.

“You’re staring and it’s weird.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Well, not stare for one.” Liz rolled onto her belly and tucked her arms beneath her. “Dean? Why me? I mean, why did you pick me to hound relentlessly until I caved?”

“And not one of your friends?” Dean took a breath. “I gotta admit… I walked into Marty’s and saw your ass.” He grinned unapologetically about his past behaviors. “At which point I came on to you. Then you turned me down and burned me. It only stoked my interest… even after I found out you were married.”

“You’re not used to being turned down, are you?”

“Not so much.”

“Even married women?”

“Sometimes, especially married women.” He shrugged. “Then it bugged me cause I recognized you but I couldn’t remember where from... Then after I got to know Nate… Max… I didn’t care so much but I won’t lie and say you became repulsive or something. Once a hot chick… only age can change that. But out of respect, I stopped being an ass.”

Propping her chin on a pillow, she absorbed his words while she formulated another question. One she had asked before and he had never answered to her satisfaction. “Why did you kiss me that night?”

“Feeling good. You know having fun again after being possessed. Feeling good and like myself for once. Sam had been on me for weeks to give you a call because he saw something that I didn’t. So, I made a move and immediately played it off because usually I follow through and that night… I knew following through would be the wrong thing to do.”

“I thought Sam was the one who was the most against your interest in me?”

“Sammy thinks I haven’t changed. He wanted you to change me more than I have changed myself. I can’t change too much. I have to keep myself detached enough to hunt.”

That made her frown. “Is that what you’re going to do with your son?”

“I… don’t think I can.” He frowned and tilted his head up to look at the ceiling. “I mean… My head gets filled with these moments that I had with my dad and I want those moments, too. T-ball and pizza parties. The moments we had as a family before Mom died. Spaghetti night and bedtime.”

“Spaghetti night, huh?”

“Yeah… all three of us at a normal hour. With Sammy asleep in his crib.” Dean let the ghost of a smile cross his face. “Garlic bread, meat sauce, salad. The whole bit.”

“My father and I always worked New Years’ together. Senior citizens’ New Years’. It came early so the seniors could get to bed early, and we always cleaned until midnight. 18 years of New Years with my dad.”

“What kind of tradition would we have? ‘Here, Johnny, help Dad pack some rock salt shells.’ I don’t know that we could have that kind of thing. That I had with my parents, that you had with yours.”

“It’s going to be what we make of it, Dean.” She laid her hand on his shoulder; the scar was still angry looking but didn’t seem to cause him any pain. “Whenever we figure that out.”

“When did you remember me?” He turned his head to look at her suddenly. “Really.”

“Exactly when I told you I did.”

“At Bobby’s before sending us to Montana?”

“Yeah.”

“So… am I a dream come true?”

“No.” She caught the flinch in the creases of his eyes. “It’s kind of a relief. The things you make me feel are not deep and potentially destroying. They are hopeful and less definable.”

“Which means what? We changed time somehow between us all and now… the world’s not ending?”

“I don’t know. Yes?”

“How?”

“I don’t think your dad had died and Max and I were never married but I can’t be sure.”

“You can tell something like that?”

“I just… know some things. Some things feel more right than others… about what I remember of that dream…” She shrugged. “I know there used to be a light in your eyes. It went away after your dad died. I was still alive so Max must have saved my life but I was healed far more than that… he must have died when we were in high school… But I can’t pinpoint when in time it was that you and I found each other.”

“How long was my hair?”

“Really short. Like…” She touched his hair. “Like a buzz cut.”

“I got my hair caught in a door in ’01. After that, I started keeping it shorter.” He lightly knocked her hand away, choosing to tug on her mid-length locks.

“Still no clue how we would have met.” She let her leg brush against his. “I was sent to a girls’ academy in Vermont during my senior year.”

“Oooh… Uniforms?”

“You know… some things I should learn to expect and yet… I am still astounded by the inner-workings of your mind.”

“What?” He grinned unapologetically, gripping her thigh to stop her movement. “So plaid skirts?”

“Yes, we had uniforms and no I won’t find one to wear for you.” She covered his hand with hers. “I got into Northwestern. I would have been in Illinois for the ’02 fall semester.”

“Illinois? Well, we’ve gone through there a lot.” Dean thought about it. “Chicago, big on hauntings. You’re were into… teaching?”

“Science. Micro-biology.”

“Ech.” He groaned. “Lab coats.”

“Not sexy?”

“They hide everything.”

“They’re not meant to be sexy.”

“Someone should have taken that into account.”

“Your need to find women attractive in every occupation?”

“Yes!”

Two days later…
(July 28, 2010)

Liz cursed. She hopped and tugged and cursed again. “Dammit!”

Dean snickered but his eyes were only half-open. He was not entirely certain what she was trying to do but it sounded funny. “What are you doing?”

“These jeans fit last week. I know. I wore them. Must have shrunk in the wash.”

He pried his eyes open to look. “Those are the tight jeans. I like those jeans.”

“Shut up and help me pull up the zipper.” Liz tried again to pull the leaves closed and tug up the zipper. She hopped over to the bed and lay back to try it that way. Dean watched with a laugh as she failed again. “Help me.”

“You think maybe they just don’t fit anymore.” When she lay down, he could plainly see that her stomach was protruding just enough that the jeans she had used to seduce him on previous occasions were not going to zip up, no matter how hard she tried.

“I have to work.”

“In that specific pair of jeans?”

“Shut up.”

Dean rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up. He slid his hand over the firm mound. “Be kind and give the boy some room to grow.”

“Are you saying that I’m getting fat?”

“No… I’m saying that you’re pregnant.” He snorted as he took her in where she lay over his legs. “You’re not bitching about how tight your shirts are and believe me, they’re noticeably tighter.”

“No.”

“What?”

“I said no.” Liz poked him in the chest. “I have to work and I’m not going to be late today. Every time you look at me like that, I end up late to work.”

“Well, this is the first complaint that I’ve heard.”

--

Liz swept through her tables before taking a break. She put her feet up in a booth. Marty set a glass of water down for her to drink. She only offered him a grateful half-smile. She hadn’t worn tennis shoes in awhile and they took some getting used to again. Her mother had insisted that she stop wearing her heels so high. The thought of her mother, made her smile a bit. If Liz didn’t call every other day, she panicked and started filling up the voice mail with frantic messages. They were going to have to make arrangements when the baby was near to due so that her parents could make the trip up.

A few dusty travelers wandered in. Two women headed directly for the bathroom and the men took the booth next to hers. It was late. Only two more hours left in the bar. Liz took a gulp of water, relished her last thirty seconds off her feet and then rose to get the table serviced. She tried not to roll her eyes when they were finicky about the menu. She gave Marty a look as she rattled off the modified orders. Marty just shook his head and ordered her to sit.

The bar was empty except for the travelers. Liz sat at the bar and waited for her orders to come up. Marty waved her off and took the food over himself. When he returned, he leaned opposite where she sat. “I give you and Dean a lot of shit. You grew on me, dammit. Your daddy ain’t here and I ain’t him but…”

“Thanks Marty.” Liz nodded and gave his hand a squeeze.

“He don’t know what he’s doing but he’ll do something.”

“I know.” She winced suddenly.

“You okay?”

“I… I don’t know.” Liz sat up where she was slouched over the bar. Marty was already circling around in case he had to catch her. She gasped and gripped the bar top, she felt Marty’s hands on her back and then suddenly, he wasn’t there anymore. “Marty?”

When she turned, the travelers were on their feet. Three of them were scrambling for the door. Marty lay sprawled across a table. The fourth member of the party turned her head and fixed Liz with a black stare. A literally black stare. Liz’s head throbbed as her mind thrust images at her. The barstool was ripped from beneath her, sending her crashing to the floor. The woman approached with a blank expression on her formerly smiling face.

Liz could feel herself sliding forward. “No, no.” A table overturned, sending its contents over Liz’s head. Something inside her tightened and then her hand shot out for the salt shaker. Hurriedly, she ripped the top off and poured a line on the ground between herself and the woman. Quickly grabbing another, she completed a circle around her. The woman stared at her, then a table flew at Liz’s head.

--

Dean laughed as his brother attempted to prove he could do a standing double back flip off a three foot pike outside the motel. Sam snorted and huffed. “This is so stupid.”

“You’re the one that said you could do it. I already did it. It’s your turn.”

Sam straightened, kicked his brother for trying to upset his balance, recovered and then set himself into the air. Tucking, he spun twice and landed in a crouch. “See. I can still do it.”

“Yeah, okay.” Dean nodded and handed over the promised fifty dollars. Then his eyes slid over to the bar where two men and a woman ran out and ducked behind their car. “Sam! Grab the bag.”

He tore off across the street and into the bar where Liz knelt inside a salt circle and Marty was pinned against the far wall. He caught a chair as it flew at her. The jukebox went haywire, playing Bob Seger at full blast. The phone began ringing continuously. That’s when Dean caught the woman’s black eyes. The objects began flying at him. All he could do was use the chair to shield his body and to place that between the possessed woman and Liz. Dean caught the shotgun when Sam tossed it to him. He pumped it with one hand and took aim at the woman. It wouldn’t kill her but it would stun her long enough for Marty to get to safety. She roared but Marty did fall to the ground.

Liz felt her vision coming and going as the battle went on around her. As if the lights were flickering, she could see Dean and Sam moving in on the woman. She saw the splash of something followed by the sound of sizzling, the smell of burning, the sounds of pain. She heard the grunts of blows landed. The booms of gunfire. The arms pulling back for swings, the legs kicking.

Her hand came away from her head smeared with blood. Her hands reached for the bag blindly. She flipped through the pages, the shutters falling over her eyes more than once. Her mouth formed the words. She could hear the screaming. The yelling. Still, she spoke the words as if she knew them well. Speaking the Latin as if it were her best friend. Then it all went black.

--

Dean splashed the holy water on the woman just to make sure. She winced at the coldness. “Cristo.”

“What?” She wiped off her face.

“She’s clean, Dean. Let her go.” Sam helped Marty to a chair. Dr. Meyer was on her way.

“Get out of here.” Dean told the woman and pointed to the door. Then his eyes fell on Liz, lying across the salt circle with Dad’s journal still clutched in her hands. He knelt and carefully checked her out. “Liz?”

“Did you get it? Did you get it?” She barked out though her eyes were still closed.

“Yeah, I got it. You did the hard work though. How’d you know to read that?”

“Jesus, Dean. Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Hell, I taught you that incantation. Why the hell didn’t you pull it out right off? It was obvious what was going on!”

Dean cupped her face between his hands. “Liz. Liz! Open your eyes!”

Slowly her body relaxed and her eyes opened wide. “Where am I?”

He swallowed thickly as he stared at her. “What were you just saying?”

“I… nothing… I didn’t say anything.” Liz shook her head but it hurt.

“Are you hurt?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay. Lay still. Dr. Meyer is coming.” Dean forced the strange words away. Liz was okay. “Good thing I taught you about salt, huh.”

“Salt?” She looked up at him. Then she glanced around at the disarray in the bar. When her hand touched the floor, she felt the grains of salt beneath her. “What happened?”

“Tell me what you remember.” He spoke softly, shifting her so she could pillow her head on his thigh.

“They came in together. All four. Then out of nowhere, one just… I started to get a vision but I… then I was on the floor and she was throwing things at me… and then you were there and I… don’t remember…”

“It’s okay. Sh. It’s okay. Just lie still. Don’t try to get up until Dr. Meyer has a look at you.”

“I feel okay.”

“I walked in while you were getting furniture thrown at you. Let’s just cool our heels for a bit.”

“You won’t leave me, will you?”

“No, I’ll stay right here.” He promised, sliding his hand behind her neck for a reassuring squeeze.

“Dean,” Sam knelt over them. He gently felt all of Liz’s extremities. “She looks fine. Let’s get her up off the floor.”

“We’re waiting for the doctor.” Dean shook his head.

“Dean, come on.”

“No. We’re waiting for the doctor. I think her head got banged up pretty badly.” Dean lowered his voice and turned his face up to whisper to his brother. “I think she… something happened. She doesn’t remember everything. I don’t want to move her.”

“Like what?”

“Aside from her sudden knowledge of exorcisms? Her yelling at me the way Dad used to do… I think she needs a doctor.”

Sam’s eyes flicked down to Liz, who lay still with her eyes closed. “Okay. We’ll wait for the doctor. How do you mean? She yelled the way Dad did?”

He lowered his voice even more. “Dude, she almost sounded like him and she… said everything the way he used to. It was more than creepy.”

When Dr. Meyer walked in, she ran straight for Marty. She checked his bruises underneath the icepack Sam had given him. She kissed the top of his head and wrapped her arms around him, whispering things no one else could hear. Wiping a tear from her eye, she turned to see what she had run passed. “Lillian? Are you okay?”

“Just a little banged up.” Liz offered from her mostly comfortable position. “Bulldog won’t let me up.”

“If I had a bulldog that looked like him, I just might have to let him hold me down.” Dr. Meyer teased half-heartedly as she did her examination. The cut on her patient’s head was easily cleaned and dressed. “Any ringing in your ears?”

“No.”

“Okay, good. Try sitting up. Dizzy?”

Liz did as told. She shook her head that she didn’t feel dizzy. Not even a bit nauseous. She was helped to a booth to rest as Dean and Sam were cleaned up. Marty moved slowly, righting the tables and chairs. He tossed the broken pieces into a pile. He sat down near to her. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. You?”

“Takes more than a possession to knock me down.” Marty took the shot when Dean handed it to him. Together they swallowed down the fiery liquid. “Doc clear you both?”

“Yeah.” Liz nodded.

“You stay home tomorrow. Kay? No arguments.”

Dean poured himself another shot and sat next to Liz, placing her feet in his lap. “You got it.” He ignored her look when he took a third. “I’m drinking for three.” She barely laughed and lay back against the wall. “Doctor says we gotta… watch out for… spotting and cramps.”

Liz nodded, silently. Marty left them alone. Dean didn’t offer anything else or drink more. He leaned on the tabletop and kept one hand wrapped around one of her ankles. He breathed out harshly and filled the shot glass but didn’t pick it up. “Dean?”

“It went right for you, didn’t it.” He nodded to her nod. When she sat up, his arm slid around her body, pulling her across his lap. Her face tucked against his neck, his hand securing her thigh on his lap, her hand massaging the back of his neck. His breathing hitched before he realized his eyes were wet. His arms tightened around her. “Without you and Sammy… I don’t have a whole hell of a lot going for me.”

“Sh. Sh.” Liz nodded and pulled his head down to hers. She brushed his lips softly. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“I’m tired. So tired. I want it to be over.” Hot tears slipped down his face. “I’m tired of burying people I know. Tired of watching Sam get broken down piece by piece. Tired of… rescuing people I love.”

“Dean. Sh.” Liz sniffed loudly and pulled his head down to her shoulder. “Sh. It’s gonna be okay. Take me home. Let’s get some rest. Take me home.”

“Okay.” Dean picked his head up and dried his eyes with a sleeve. “Sammy.”

“Yeah?” Sam sat up from across the bar, where he pretended he hadn’t been watching and straining to listen.

“Come on. Let’s go. We need to stick together, tonight. We’ll do the research and all that tomorrow.” Dean slid out of the booth and hauled Liz up against him. “We just… need sleep, right now.”

“Kay.” Sam nodded and grabbed their bag and their dad’s journal. His eyes flicked from it to Liz but he didn’t say anything. They could have that talk tomorrow.

TBC

Part 49 – The next day…
(July 29, 2010)

When Liz opened her eyes, she could make out fresh circles and lines around doors and windows. She peered closer and frowned at the unfamiliar dusting of materials near the door. Dean sat on the edge of the bed with a cup of something. “Don’t ask.” She took the cup and peered inside. “It’s just tea. Sam made it. It should be safe to drink.”

He peered down at her. She hadn’t brought up his admission from the night before… but he had also insisted that Sam bunk down on the extra bed. She sipped the tea and tried to sit up. “Do things like what happened last night… do they happen a lot?”

“Yeah… more and more since we pissed off the YED by killing his kids. That’s on me. I did the ordering and dispatching on them. He’s gunning for me.”

“How did you stop it?”

“I didn’t… you did.” Dean took a breath and looked to where Sam sat at the kitchen table. “You exorcised the demon inside that woman. You sent it to hell. Your Latin is really good.”

“I don’t know Latin.”

“You did last night.”

Sam nodded when Liz looked to him for answers. “The best I’ve heard since…”

“Dad died.” Dean finished the sentence.

Liz’s eyes flicked to Sam’s, who met her with an even gaze and a nod of his head toward his brother. “Oh?”

“You were holding his journal when it happened.” Sam explained softly, leading her with the information. “He used to never go anywhere without it. Once we backtracked fifty miles to get the damned thing.”

“And that time he thought you lost it.” Dean shook his head. His father had not been upset. Upset they could have handled. He was distraught. It wasn’t until later that Dean realized that all that remained of home was in that journal. “So you don’t remember any of that?”

“No.” Liz could say that in all truthfulness. Still, Sam gave her another look. “It wouldn’t be the first time, though.”

Dean ran a hand over his face and stilled as her words sank in. “I’m sorry, what?”

“It’s happened before. Not quite like that but…”

“She yelled at me about the fight. The good fight, like Dad used to.”

“It’s happened before that, too.” Liz met his eyes nervously.

He blinked at her and then turned to look at his brother for a moment. His eyes swung around to her again. “My girlfriend is channeling our dead father and neither of you thought I’d like to know that.”

Liz took a breath and motioned for Sam to let her handle it. “It started as a vision of him… he was learning how to text and using that damnable Winchester charm to get it done… Then it was a tone that came out of my mouth without me knowing it. And me doing something subconsciously just knowing it should be done. Whatever last night was… it was surely a progression.”

“But why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m gonna…” Sam made a quick exit, offering Liz a supportive half-smile, half-grimace as he shut the door.

“Because, Dean… you… I… I can’t control it. I don’t know what it means or why it happens and it scares me and you get… So obsessive and especially after what you say happened last night.”

“He can’t do that.” Dean shoved himself to his feet, walking away from the bed with his hands on the back of his head. “I salted and burned his body. He can’t haunt.”

“I don’t know about all that but I’m fairly certain it’s him.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when it started?”

“I’m not even really sure when it started.” She sighed heavily and swung her legs off the bed. “I had thought it started the day I felt him die in the Impala but that wasn’t him, that was you. The vision I got of him was… last October. Me yelling at Sam happened right after you guys got hurt in New York… The other thing I said, doing things subconsciously… that happened right after I found out I was pregnant…” She took a breath. “I wasn’t looking to learn anything about him. I know how he charmed women to get what he needed, how he kept his toolbox, how he felt about you and your brother. Those are things I just know about him.”

He turned to look at her. “I don’t understand. Is he inside you somehow?”

“I don’t think so.” The whisper slipped out as she shook her head. “I just can’t stop it when it happens.”

“Last night, it saved your life.”

“I don’t remember doing the salt circle… or reading the Latin…” She met his eyes. “I didn’t want to tell you because I knew how upset you’d get. It freaked Sam out and… he was your hero.”

“I just… want any part of him that’s left.” Dean admitted. He felt small and lost for the first time since he was a kid. “I’ve had this hole inside of me where my mom used to be and when Dad died… it got bigger and it’s like there’s hardly enough of me to keep it together anymore.”

“Dean, I don’t know how to make that feeling go away. I don’t do this on purpose. I can’t control it. It just happens.”

“I need air.” Dean turned and left through the door and didn’t stop walking until he was in the middle of the field where he and Liz had consummated their infatuation.

--

Sam reentered the cottage and frowned at the empty room. “Guys?”

“I’m in here.” Liz’s voice called out. A moment later, she stepped out of the bathroom, drying her hair with a towel. “He’s not back yet?”

“I guess not.” Sam gave her a painful look. “How upset was he?”

“About as upset as I figured he’d be.” She took a seat at the table.

“You know… Dean has always been the one person that I could depend on and… I’m starting to realize that he never had anyone but Dad to rely on.” Sam sank down across from her. “I mean, I kind of knew but I didn’t pull my weight with him as much as I should have. If anything… I gave him more baggage. Dad wasn’t all that reliable but Dean would never say that. He’s held himself up since he was four years old and… he saw her die. I… was distraught after Jessica… but I was 23 years old. I knew how to compartmentalize my fears and my feelings and still function. He was four when he saw his mother on the ceiling, burning.”

Liz felt the tear slip out of her eye but she didn’t say anything. She could almost feel John’s pain. It was there. In the room. At the table. A life stolen, too soon. A love, a friend, a mother. She tried to push him away. Tried to keep the man from surfacing.

“Dean was starting to put himself back together. He thinks he has to save me from myself but who is saving Dean?” He scoffed to himself. “I get selfish sometimes and I forget that Dean is not a superhero. He’s human and even though he always says he’s fine… sometimes he’s really not.” When he looked up, he was surprised to find that Liz was standing right in front of him. She placed a firm hand on his neck, squeezing gently. “Liz?”

“You listen to Dean. He knows that.” She knelt in front of him. “He’ll save you. He’ll save you all because it’s what needs to be done. He knows what needs to be done and he’ll do it.”

“Dad?” Sam breathed out, light brown eyes filling with tears.

“All you have to do is what he tells you. You listen to your brother. Take care of him the way he takes care of you. Listen to him when it’s important, Sammy.”

“Dad?” The gasp came from the door.

“You do what he says, do you hear me?”

“Yeah. I will.” Sam nodded and had to rush forward to catch Liz as she fell backward.

“Dad?” Dean rushed to Liz’s side, taking her from his brother. She opened her eyes and Dean shut his weary eyes. His dad was gone.

“Dean.” Sam cleared his throat. When all Dean seemed to be able to do was stare at Liz, Sam reached over and lightly shook Liz awake. “Are you okay?”

“What?”

“It’s okay.” Dean brought himself out of his daze. “Come on. Get back into bed. Rest.”

Sam watched as Dean put Liz first. Taking care of her, making sure she was okay and comfortable before even asking, in silence, about what had happened. Sam could only nod to the look. Then Dean couldn’t take it anymore, he left the cottage again but came to a stop in front of the rusted over remains of his former home. The backseat where he’d almost died before the paramedics had arrived. The driver’s seat where Sam had lost consciousness. The passenger side where their father had been trapped until they had pulled Sam out. He knew only what he’d been told by whoever could remember before they’d left the hospital behind.

He stared at the Impala. Empty windows and doors, ripped seats and missing gearshift, cracks and dents. Without looking, he knew the engine was gutted because he’d done it himself. His father’s car. He’d taken its beating heart out and put it in a new body. He’d often pondered that irony as he wondered if a part of his father’s soul had been put back with his own. Maybe it was just a far-gone hope. Wishful thinking that a part of his father was still alive and not in the realm of things he’d have to eventually kill.

“Why not me, huh?” He asked the car. “You got to pick on my pregnant girlfriend? Probably making her think she’s losing her mind. She doesn’t need a fifty-year-old man in her head. I’m the one that needs your advice. I need it and you’re making her organize tool kits, exorcising demons and giving Sam your fatherly advice. What about me?” He laughed humorlessly. “I’m the one who stayed by you. I gave you everything I had. Everything. I’m naming my freaking firstborn after you and you’re not talking to me. Why? Hell… last night, you yelled at me but you didn’t talk. It’s like you never died.”

Bitterness. A pill he’d been choking on for years. He waved his hands at the car, wishing he were drunk and not painfully sober. “But hey. Instill fatherly advice in the son who ran away… in the son you said was bound for the dark side. Don’t give me anything. You give me one moment and then you die. You sacrifice yourself for a cause that you never told me about. How could you die without filling me in on the details? How dare you put this burden on my head without telling me everything you knew? Tell me that I gotta save Sam or kill him? Tell me you’re proud of me but say something like that?”

“You taught me everything you knew about hunting. You told Marty that I was the best shot you had the pleasure to teach. You told Bobby that my Latin was atrocious but that I could recite on cue what needed to be said. You told Caleb that you trusted me with your life. Pastor Jim said you said that if you had to hand pick a soldier for war, that I would be your first choice. Holy, unholy, whatever that it would be me… so why did I have to hear your compliments from them? Why were my lessons so hard? Why treat me like it was all just common sense and I had to catch up? Why did you leave so much else out?

“I know about electrical sockets and diapers and bottle times. Bedtime stories and salt rings and small toys. Bath time prep and table foods… but… how do I do everything else?” Dean frowned at the car. “We talked about sex and protection but you didn’t say anything about monogamy. You didn’t talk about how to take care of a lover beyond the night. You didn’t say anything about raising a boy of my own. Did you think I would die before I got the chance? Did you even give it a thought?”

“Yeah, he did, Dean.” Sam intruded on his brother’s rant. “He wanted you to have a home. He wanted the hunt over but he wanted to be the one to finish it… your life was just… more important to him than living to kill it himself. He loved us… in his way.”

“Which is what?” Dean didn’t turn. “Different from the way other fathers love their sons.”

“No. Not different. The same. He kept us close. Tried to, anyway. To protect us.” Sam offered the words to his brother but his brother was too angry to hear them. “Believe me, it’s hard for me to look at things from his eyes. There are plenty of things that he kept from us. Not just information but… we grew up in a screwed up way and that’s why you don’t have the answers to anything in that cottage, Dean. Maybe it’s not Dad’s fault. Maybe it’s all just because Mom died. You got a hole inside you, imagine the hole inside Dad.”

--

Liz sat curled up in the chair by the window when Dean finally returned to the cottage. He sniffed and shut the door behind him. His body was still full of tension. From her posture, he knew she’d been watching his moment with his former car. “I just gotta know… does he pull away when I come near you?”

“I don’t know.” Liz shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“It’s like… there’s a puzzle and I’m the one who has to put it together but nobody will let me see the pieces.” He took a step into the room and stared at her. “You’re having these visions and these moments where my dad is talking out of you. Sam is having demon visions and all kinds of freaky psychic shit. I’m supposed to solve it all but I don’t know how. All I know is that I can kill shit. Evil shit. I don’t know how to interpret dreams or visions or… reading a fucking timeline from a world that isn’t right here. All I can be is me and that doesn’t seem to be enough for anyone. All I can be is Dean Winchester, demon hunter extraordinaire. Not other timeline Dean, not Max Evans, not John Winchester. Me.”

“No one’s asking you to be someone else, Dean.” Liz whispered.

“Well, you know, it feels like it.” He scrubbed his hands over his face and tugged at his own hair. “It feels like who I am now is not good enough. Like I have to change in order to make things work.”

“I think you’re reading too much into what anyone has said.” She shifted to face him in a more comfortable position. “I like you the way you are. I tease you about your proclivities for booze and women and sharp pointy things but everything you were before I met you has led you to be the man I met. The man I eventually fell for. It’s all inside you. Anything you change about yourself has to be for you, because you want it. I never asked you to change who you are. I only asked how we were going to make this work because I can’t raise a child by myself. Not with all the things I now know are in the dark. I can’t live without this child but I can’t go it alone when I know that there are demons who want me dead now.”

“I never said I wouldn’t be there.”

“Sure, there. You’ll be stopping in to rest, to recover, to bond with your child but you will be going to hunt and I will be alone with your son. What if something happens to us? I’m not saying you have to stop hunting but you have to tell me more than you’re going hunting. You have to let me know what the dangers are. Include me, is what I’m saying.” She rose slowly to cross the room to stand in front of him. “You’re so closed off Dean. I don’t know how to change that. I can’t begin to know where to start. I just need to know if… I need to know if.”

Dean slid his hand behind her neck, tangling his fingers in her hair. He stared at her. “I’ve told you more than I’ve ever told anyone.”

“Maybe but… Dean, you hide so much and I know you said that you had to stay detached but… I need to know if.” She fixed her eyes on the collar of his T-shirt. “Am I ever going to hear it, Dean?” His lips brushed hers so softly, she wasn’t sure that he had moved at all. “You’re the one that told me, Dean. Why would you think that you’re the exception?”

“Told you?” His brain reached for whatever in the hell she was talking about while his nose slid against hers.

“Maybe what we’ve been doing hasn’t been dating… maybe we can’t put a label on what we’ve been doing but I think we know what we feel.” Her words slurred around the flutter of his lips.

When her words registered, he put them together with his own from nearly ten months earlier. He had known. Somewhere. Liz wouldn’t let just anyone touch her, just anyone share her bed, share the intimate moments that he had been privy to… even before knocking her up and storming out on her. Taking her lips in a firmer kiss, he knew what he knew but he couldn’t let himself believe it. If she said the words and he didn’t say them back, it would kill her. And so she hadn’t. Not out loud.

As they turned their slow way onto the bed, he recalled all her silent admissions. A sandwich in the middle of the night even when she wasn’t hungry; a well-timed joke when he’d been doing his best to hide he wasn’t feeling his best; a red-covered book in his duffle during a fight; smiling indulgence in his hormonal moments which were far more frequent than hers; concessions to his routines though sometimes they clashed with hers.

--

Liz’s head rested on his shoulder. Her arm draped over his chest, one of her legs lay between his. She slept and Dean decided right then that it was probably okay that his Dad didn’t surface in Liz while he was around. If he dared show up in a moment like this, Dean would have to do an exorcism in a heartbeat. He let a hand slide down her spine and back again. He felt halfway normal for once. Usually Liz slipped to her own side of bed and settled there but she stayed with him this time, practically on top of him. Trusting him.

“Liz?”

“Hmm?”

“Let’s go to Lake Tahoe.”

“Hmm?” She picked up her head to look at him.

“It’s close, I hear it’s nice. We can be married by Saturday.”

“Dean?” Liz forced her eyes open. She rested her chin on her hand to stare at him as his ramblings filtered into her sleepy brain. “What’s the rush, now?”

“Well…” He cleared his throat. “I’ve just been thinking… there’s a lot of untried lore out there… Well, for me, untried and my son is not the way of trying it. I just want to cover my bases.”

“Well, that started out sweet…”

“I’m not up on my holier than thou rites but… I just… want to keep you safe.”

“Okay.” She nodded to his silent admission.

“Illegitimate children are targets for all sorts of demonic activity and so are unbaptized children.” He rushed to explain himself but he knew it just sounded strange. “It could be a bunch of hooey to scare God into folks but I can’t take any chances. My son will be a target anyway.”

She sighed then reached up to run her hand over his hair. “Sometimes I wonder just what goes through that head of yours. You’re not as dumb as you would have everyone believe.”

“You think I want people to think I’m stupid?”

“I think it works to your advantage most of the time.”

“Maybe.” He shrugged and smirked.

She shook her head at him. She tried not to smile too broadly as she tried to put his thoughts into words she understood so as to make sure she did understand them. “You want to take care of us, huh?”

“Well, yeah.” He secured one arm around the small of her back and the other under her arm, against her shoulders. “How did I end up with you?”

“Dumb luck.”

“You wish.” He snorted.

“Maybe. You are not a bad guy, Dean. I trust you to do what needs to be done.”

Those words so ruined the mood. “You’re not my dad right now, are you?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Good, cause he’s not allowed to pop in while we’re naked.”

“That’s a good rule. Let’s hope he follows it.”

“Maybe we should keep him away with lots of… extra examples of…”

“Our physical relationship?”

“Maybe. I’m just saying… it’s a creepy thought to have that the woman I sleep with can be taken over by my dead father.”

“I agree.”

TBC