Re: Angels Watching Over Me (XO,SPN,D/L,Mature)Ch32 12/3/12
Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 4:06 am
HypnotiqBlueEyes: Agents in roswell question will be touched upon in this chapter..
AvalonRose: someone is trying to start a fire that's for sure..
roswellian love: Welcome to the abyss my friend!
Sorry I haven't been posting as fast as I was hoping.. haven't gotten much time at all to edit and post with planning a 3 day drive up to jersey for the holidays. Hopefully once that's out of the way and the trip is behind me I'll be able to post faster but until then I'm trying hard to get at least one chapter a week or maybe three posts before I start the trip on Dec 10th. But enough chatter and on with the show.
Chapter Thirty Two
*Lyrics used in this chapter are Missy Higgins, “Where I Stood”*
After a few hours of driving with music as a constant background, Serena and Liz now sat in companionable silence. Serena knew from the first ten minutes of the trip that Liz was once again sorting through things in her head and at their first pit stop Serena had taken the wheel and forced Liz into the passenger seat. She hoped she would get some sleep but knew that was probably a lost cause. Once they were back on the interstate at a comfortable speed, she flicked on the cruise control, turned off the music, and waited for Liz to finally start talking. It was only a matter of time before Liz would feel the need to talk it out and see if she could get more out of another perspective. Serena felt Liz’s eyes glance in her direction a few times and smirked. "Let's hear it then."
When Liz didn't laugh like usual, Serena threw a quick glance at her and saw the frown marring her face.
After a few more quiet moments, Liz finally spoke up. "Could you tell I opened a connection with dean?"
Well, that's not what she had been expecting but she couldn't hide the small smile that broke out on her face. "Yes. It was faint but there."
"Would other aliens be able to tell?"
Serena frowned following Liz's line of thought, "I'm not sure. I mean I noticed because I know you, I know your aura in all different states but someone who doesn't know you probably wouldn't be able to distinguish another's aura within yours."
"I only opened it slightly. I've never had.. never opened a connection with someone that had no.. Alien factor. I was afraid, not knowing how he'd be able to handle it. Do you think it would hurt him? Opening it all the way?"
"My mom has a connection with my dad and he's completely human. I thought I told you that before? And what about Maria and Michael or Isabel and Jesse?"
Liz shook her head. Then grew quiet, "I don’t know.. My connection with Max was always more than what Maria said she experienced.. well when it was completely open anyway. And now with the whole granolith connection.. I don’t know. Have you ever?"
Serena quirked her eyebrow but Liz didn't look her way, "no. I've never been that close with someone. Not enough to let them in completely."
Liz glanced at Serena, "is it possible to block certain things once the connection is made?"
Serena glanced at Liz a few times, "you’re thinking of the flashes you got from Max, the ones that proved he was lying to you. Why would you want to block things from dean? I thought you were all about complete honesty?"
Liz kept her eyes on the road, "there's just some things I'd like to keep from being re-lived.. by anyone."
Serena watched Liz carefully from the corner of her eye but decided not to push. She knew Liz was serious about making this work and all the little troubles going on in that mind of hers would work themselves out or she would just smack some sense into her if need be. A small smile bloomed on Serena’s face. "It compliments you, balances you out somehow. The energy created an interesting.. vibrancy to your aura. If you only opened it slightly, I'm actually pretty interested to see what it looks like when you've created a bond."
Liz smiled, "you seriously think I'd jump into something so you can have your little variables to study?"
Serena grinned, "oh please, like I'd be forcing you into it."
~~
Serena and Liz walked into the Crashdown and immediately saw Kyle and Ava sitting at a back booth with Sheriff Valenti and Mrs. Parker. They sat down and got caught up with what Max, Ava, and Kyle had found out so far since they got in a day earlier. By the time they had arrived it seemed the agents were nowhere to be seen and with nothing else out of the ordinary they only had theories to go on. Max thought it had to be Nicholas trying to draw them together yet they hadn’t seen anything to really solidify that idea.
Michael and Maria had stayed in Albuquerque and after a few phone calls back and forth, everything was still quiet there. After getting the girls caught up, Valenti and Mrs. Parker excused themselves and the four ordered dinner.
Liz was frustrated that they had made the trip for nothing but Ava had a bad feeling that she couldn’t shake, it was the only thing that kept Liz from going back right away. Liz may have had premonitions that came randomly but Ava’s intuition was always reliable. Liz barely touched the food in front of her and Ava and Serena exchanged a concerned look.
Ava looked back to Liz, “Liz, what if this was a move to get us to come here? Maybe they think the Granolith is here and figured we would go right to it if we heard of something in town.”
Liz glanced up and met her gaze as well as catching Kyle and Serena’s look, “yea but why pretend to be FBI? Why would we go to the Granolith for FBI?” Liz shook her head, “it just doesn’t add up.” She picked up a couple of fries and threw them in her mouth hoping maybe that would get them to stop with the looks.
Kyle threw one of his onion rings at Liz, she glanced up at him and caught his smile, “So Winchester huh? He’s that hard to leave?”
Liz tried holding back her smile but ended up laughing instead, “shut up.” She shook her head, “we got in a fight because of this.. coming here.”
Kyle raised his eyebrow and Serena answered, “Max. He’s all hung up that he’ll get her in trouble again.” She rolled her eyes.
Kyle shrugged, “well, it’s not completely unfounded and he doesn’t even know..” Liz’s quick look stopped him.
Ava and Serena glanced at each other and then at Kyle. Kyle cringed, “sorry Liz.. I didn’t know.”
Both girls looked to Liz who rolled her eyes, “not that it’s any business of yours but I decided to leave out a few details from the past..”
They both turned their heads to Kyle and gave him their death stare, “Jesus.. come on!”
Liz felt her leg vibrate and realized she left her phone on silent and pulled it from her pocket when she heard Kyle whisper, “she didn’t tell them about the Tess baby.”
Liz closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she answered the call, “parker.”
“It’s Henriksen. I got your message.”
Liz ignored the looks she knew Serena and Ava were sending her and leaned down to keep her call as private as she could from others around them, “okay, you got anything?”
“It’s not the special unit. They don’t have any people in Roswell but they are still very interested in you. They don’t even have much on you but you are top priority and for some reason they’re interested in the Winchesters now as well.”
Liz was confused but then it hit her, if Nicholas had connections in the FBI and had looked into Dean and Sam, why not put their heads on the unit’s radar? Could Nicholas have a contact in the Special Unit itself? It would be seriously messed up but something that he would probably get a major kick out of. Son of a bitch. Keeping the heat on them from the FBI would give them more things to worry about and that would just fit into Nicholas’ plan perfectly. Keep them looking in all different directions and on edge, off focus. “How are you? You sure you’re still clear?”
“Groves apparently had talked about me before so it was pretty easy. After some of the stuff you told me and then saying that Groves had talked to me about it helped. I’m still probationary but my years in the FBI help.”
“Okay, but you have to stay on guard. If you get even the slightest bit of a weird feeling from anyone, you get your ass out of there.”
“Don’t worry about it. Believe me Parker, I’ve seen some of the files.. enough to know how deep I am.”
“Stay safe.”
“You too.”
Liz ended the call and placed her cell on the table, “it wasn’t FBI but I think Ava may have been onto something. It’s gotta be about the Granolith. There’s no other reason to come to Roswell, they’re either trying to draw it out or try to figure out where it is and Roswell is ground zero. Nicholas told me himself he had spent time in the FBI and I know he has at least one contact within the special unit.”
“How?” Ava watched Liz’s face, seeing the tired look that she quickly hid after the call.
“Because Sam and Dean have been added to their list.”
Serena looked at Liz, “we need to move the granolith. If they think it’s here then it’s too close for comfort. The whole plan of having it away from you won’t be worth anything if it’s sitting right where they suspect.”
Ava nodded.
Liz glanced towards the back room, “we can’t go far though.”
Kyle followed her line of sight, “why? What’s up?”
“Just in case.. I don’t know. Just Ava’s feeling and us not being able to figure out exactly why Roswell and who's poking around.”
“Albuquerque then, it’s close enough and won’t seem odd because we’ve been living there. If they have been watching us anyway.” Ava glanced around and Serena nodded.
“Okay, I’ll get the necklace and we can head out when Max is done whatever he went looking into.” Liz glanced around the room for maybe the tenth time since they sat down seeing if anyone seemed to be watching them. She didn’t know if it was Ava’s feeling that was making her feel on edge or if it was something else but she felt her instincts in high gear and maybe her paranoia as well.
~~
Liz walked into her room seeing everything where she left it the last time she was there. Some things were still haphazardly stacked on the floor and thrown in boxes from when she and Maria tore apart the room looking everywhere for anything that could give them a clue. Of course they hadn’t looked everywhere and she didn’t know how it slipped past her. She walked straight over to the far wall and knelt, running her hand down the wall feeling the familiar grooves in between the bricks then stopped at her very own special lock box. She watched the faint glow from her hand as she unsealed the brick and then wiggled it out of its place. Inside rested her journal and she could see the black rope of the necklace exactly where she left it so many years ago.
Max followed her through the Crashdown once again as she tried to run from the fight she felt brewing. “You didn't give me a chance, Liz!”
“Are you kidding me? I didn't give you a chance? When DIDN'T I give you a chance, max? Do you want me to list them all? Hell, half of them can be summed up in one damn NAME! I've given you nothing but chances and I'm tired.. I'm tired of fighting, max. Of feeling like I don't even know you, feeling like I'm being forced to be what someone else wants.. I'm so tired of this. I can't do it anymore.”
“Come here, It's fine. It's all going to be okay. Please just let me hold you, Liz. We've gotten through worse.. We can get through this too and everything will be just like..”
She spun to face him, “Like what? Like before? That's never going to happen. God, why can't you get that? We're never going to be that couple anymore. We fight over every little thing because you still want me to be this girl that I don't even know anymore! I'm not her.. I can never be her again. I don't even know who I am because I just keep trying to make you happy.. To be this person that you want me to be but I can't do it anymore. I can’t keep playing some part because I’m losing myself.”
“You’re talking crazy, you’re just upset about Harvard and that's okay.” He reached out to touch her hair, “you’re allowed to be upset.”
Liz slapped his hand away and took a few steps back, “STOP! JUST STOP! Do you even hear yourself? I'm allowed? I’m sorry I didn’t know I needed your consent..” She stopped herself and shook her head slowly, “I'm done don't you get it? I'm done, Max.”
"Is this about the college applications again? I told you I was sorry why can't you just get past that? So I made a mistake."
She shook her head, "all we are anymore is a mistake." Liz turned and started to walk away but felt Max’s hand wrap around her arm, jolting her back towards him before coming to a stop.
"You stop and listen to me, damn it!" He paused and his harsh tone softened, "You can't leave, you’re everything Liz."
The anger that flared in Liz's eyes faded a bit, "that's not going to work this time because we both know that's not true. I don't even want that to be true." She tried to move away but his grip tightened.
Her eyes snapped back to his, "let go."
He pushed her away, "fine.. Go. Run away. It's what your best at."
She stumbled backward a few steps before she caught her balance again. The quiet fury burning in her eyes, “like I said all we are anymore is a mistake.”
Liz stormed into her room and the brick flew from its resting place in the wall. She grabbed her journal off the desk and hurled it into the hole and then ripped the whirlwind pendant necklace over her head and threw it into the hole as well. Her anger still boiling through her veins as she grabbed the brick and shoved it back into the wall. Placing her hands over the brick, she pushed some of the heated energy out into the wall, sealing it in place. She pressed her forehead against the cool brick wall willing herself to steady her breathing, to cool the fire in her veins. She heard the music from the radio and realized she had turned on the electronics in her room again. She closed her eyes as the lyrics washed over her.
“I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none”
She pushed off the wall heading straight for her closet and grabbed the bag she had already packed and threw it on the bed then went around grabbing the last minute things she would need, throwing them into her back pack. She took a final glance around the room and realized her vision had become blurry then dropped onto her desk chair, releasing the sobs that were choking her.
“There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening”
She looked at her desk and grabbed a pen with one hand while opening the notebook with her other. Then she let her words flow onto the paper.
Max, I knew you would come back and want to apologize because I know you think I wouldn't leave.. that the Liz Parker you love couldn't leave. But that's the problem that you don’t seem to hear.. I'm not that person anymore. You keep wanting it to go back to the way it was but too much has happened and I don't even know who I've become.. All we do is fight. Don't you ask yourself why that is? Sometimes just your touch feels like a lie. We keep pretending that this will work itself out but it can't because all we’re doing is playing a part that we lost years ago.
“Cause I don’t know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
Cause she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood”
I love you max but I'm afraid it's not the kind of love you want it to be. Without trust.. I can't be in love with you. I know it's confusing.. I don't completely understand it yet either but the one thing I know for sure is that I have to leave. I can't just pretend anymore.. I have to find myself and I need to move on. We've been stuck and I know you've felt it too. You said you changed.. that you want to become a better man.. then you have to listen to what I need. I need time. Time to find out who Liz Parker really is and I can't do that here pretending to be that 16 year old girl. By the time you get this I’ll be gone and I hope that you can find yourself. I know you've been having trouble with your powers and you need time to heal from whatever it is that is tearing you apart, our fighting is only making that worse, so stop thinking about me and concentrate on yourself. Goodbye Max.
Liz heard Ava call her name pulling her back to the present and she reached her hand in for the journal and then the necklace. She wasn’t sure what she thought she would feel but it felt like just a plain old necklace, nothing different. She slipped it over her head and tucked it under her shirt, a slight glow pulsed for a second as it made contact with her skin, a light that she didn’t seem to notice. Liz glanced down to see if anyone could tell what type of necklace she was wearing through her shirt and was satisfied that it couldn’t be detected. She pushed the brick back into its place and sealed it once again. She stood from the floor and put the journal in her bag as she left the room.
AvalonRose: someone is trying to start a fire that's for sure..
roswellian love: Welcome to the abyss my friend!
Sorry I haven't been posting as fast as I was hoping.. haven't gotten much time at all to edit and post with planning a 3 day drive up to jersey for the holidays. Hopefully once that's out of the way and the trip is behind me I'll be able to post faster but until then I'm trying hard to get at least one chapter a week or maybe three posts before I start the trip on Dec 10th. But enough chatter and on with the show.
Chapter Thirty Two
*Lyrics used in this chapter are Missy Higgins, “Where I Stood”*
After a few hours of driving with music as a constant background, Serena and Liz now sat in companionable silence. Serena knew from the first ten minutes of the trip that Liz was once again sorting through things in her head and at their first pit stop Serena had taken the wheel and forced Liz into the passenger seat. She hoped she would get some sleep but knew that was probably a lost cause. Once they were back on the interstate at a comfortable speed, she flicked on the cruise control, turned off the music, and waited for Liz to finally start talking. It was only a matter of time before Liz would feel the need to talk it out and see if she could get more out of another perspective. Serena felt Liz’s eyes glance in her direction a few times and smirked. "Let's hear it then."
When Liz didn't laugh like usual, Serena threw a quick glance at her and saw the frown marring her face.
After a few more quiet moments, Liz finally spoke up. "Could you tell I opened a connection with dean?"
Well, that's not what she had been expecting but she couldn't hide the small smile that broke out on her face. "Yes. It was faint but there."
"Would other aliens be able to tell?"
Serena frowned following Liz's line of thought, "I'm not sure. I mean I noticed because I know you, I know your aura in all different states but someone who doesn't know you probably wouldn't be able to distinguish another's aura within yours."
"I only opened it slightly. I've never had.. never opened a connection with someone that had no.. Alien factor. I was afraid, not knowing how he'd be able to handle it. Do you think it would hurt him? Opening it all the way?"
"My mom has a connection with my dad and he's completely human. I thought I told you that before? And what about Maria and Michael or Isabel and Jesse?"
Liz shook her head. Then grew quiet, "I don’t know.. My connection with Max was always more than what Maria said she experienced.. well when it was completely open anyway. And now with the whole granolith connection.. I don’t know. Have you ever?"
Serena quirked her eyebrow but Liz didn't look her way, "no. I've never been that close with someone. Not enough to let them in completely."
Liz glanced at Serena, "is it possible to block certain things once the connection is made?"
Serena glanced at Liz a few times, "you’re thinking of the flashes you got from Max, the ones that proved he was lying to you. Why would you want to block things from dean? I thought you were all about complete honesty?"
Liz kept her eyes on the road, "there's just some things I'd like to keep from being re-lived.. by anyone."
Serena watched Liz carefully from the corner of her eye but decided not to push. She knew Liz was serious about making this work and all the little troubles going on in that mind of hers would work themselves out or she would just smack some sense into her if need be. A small smile bloomed on Serena’s face. "It compliments you, balances you out somehow. The energy created an interesting.. vibrancy to your aura. If you only opened it slightly, I'm actually pretty interested to see what it looks like when you've created a bond."
Liz smiled, "you seriously think I'd jump into something so you can have your little variables to study?"
Serena grinned, "oh please, like I'd be forcing you into it."
~~
Serena and Liz walked into the Crashdown and immediately saw Kyle and Ava sitting at a back booth with Sheriff Valenti and Mrs. Parker. They sat down and got caught up with what Max, Ava, and Kyle had found out so far since they got in a day earlier. By the time they had arrived it seemed the agents were nowhere to be seen and with nothing else out of the ordinary they only had theories to go on. Max thought it had to be Nicholas trying to draw them together yet they hadn’t seen anything to really solidify that idea.
Michael and Maria had stayed in Albuquerque and after a few phone calls back and forth, everything was still quiet there. After getting the girls caught up, Valenti and Mrs. Parker excused themselves and the four ordered dinner.
Liz was frustrated that they had made the trip for nothing but Ava had a bad feeling that she couldn’t shake, it was the only thing that kept Liz from going back right away. Liz may have had premonitions that came randomly but Ava’s intuition was always reliable. Liz barely touched the food in front of her and Ava and Serena exchanged a concerned look.
Ava looked back to Liz, “Liz, what if this was a move to get us to come here? Maybe they think the Granolith is here and figured we would go right to it if we heard of something in town.”
Liz glanced up and met her gaze as well as catching Kyle and Serena’s look, “yea but why pretend to be FBI? Why would we go to the Granolith for FBI?” Liz shook her head, “it just doesn’t add up.” She picked up a couple of fries and threw them in her mouth hoping maybe that would get them to stop with the looks.
Kyle threw one of his onion rings at Liz, she glanced up at him and caught his smile, “So Winchester huh? He’s that hard to leave?”
Liz tried holding back her smile but ended up laughing instead, “shut up.” She shook her head, “we got in a fight because of this.. coming here.”
Kyle raised his eyebrow and Serena answered, “Max. He’s all hung up that he’ll get her in trouble again.” She rolled her eyes.
Kyle shrugged, “well, it’s not completely unfounded and he doesn’t even know..” Liz’s quick look stopped him.
Ava and Serena glanced at each other and then at Kyle. Kyle cringed, “sorry Liz.. I didn’t know.”
Both girls looked to Liz who rolled her eyes, “not that it’s any business of yours but I decided to leave out a few details from the past..”
They both turned their heads to Kyle and gave him their death stare, “Jesus.. come on!”
Liz felt her leg vibrate and realized she left her phone on silent and pulled it from her pocket when she heard Kyle whisper, “she didn’t tell them about the Tess baby.”
Liz closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she answered the call, “parker.”
“It’s Henriksen. I got your message.”
Liz ignored the looks she knew Serena and Ava were sending her and leaned down to keep her call as private as she could from others around them, “okay, you got anything?”
“It’s not the special unit. They don’t have any people in Roswell but they are still very interested in you. They don’t even have much on you but you are top priority and for some reason they’re interested in the Winchesters now as well.”
Liz was confused but then it hit her, if Nicholas had connections in the FBI and had looked into Dean and Sam, why not put their heads on the unit’s radar? Could Nicholas have a contact in the Special Unit itself? It would be seriously messed up but something that he would probably get a major kick out of. Son of a bitch. Keeping the heat on them from the FBI would give them more things to worry about and that would just fit into Nicholas’ plan perfectly. Keep them looking in all different directions and on edge, off focus. “How are you? You sure you’re still clear?”
“Groves apparently had talked about me before so it was pretty easy. After some of the stuff you told me and then saying that Groves had talked to me about it helped. I’m still probationary but my years in the FBI help.”
“Okay, but you have to stay on guard. If you get even the slightest bit of a weird feeling from anyone, you get your ass out of there.”
“Don’t worry about it. Believe me Parker, I’ve seen some of the files.. enough to know how deep I am.”
“Stay safe.”
“You too.”
Liz ended the call and placed her cell on the table, “it wasn’t FBI but I think Ava may have been onto something. It’s gotta be about the Granolith. There’s no other reason to come to Roswell, they’re either trying to draw it out or try to figure out where it is and Roswell is ground zero. Nicholas told me himself he had spent time in the FBI and I know he has at least one contact within the special unit.”
“How?” Ava watched Liz’s face, seeing the tired look that she quickly hid after the call.
“Because Sam and Dean have been added to their list.”
Serena looked at Liz, “we need to move the granolith. If they think it’s here then it’s too close for comfort. The whole plan of having it away from you won’t be worth anything if it’s sitting right where they suspect.”
Ava nodded.
Liz glanced towards the back room, “we can’t go far though.”
Kyle followed her line of sight, “why? What’s up?”
“Just in case.. I don’t know. Just Ava’s feeling and us not being able to figure out exactly why Roswell and who's poking around.”
“Albuquerque then, it’s close enough and won’t seem odd because we’ve been living there. If they have been watching us anyway.” Ava glanced around and Serena nodded.
“Okay, I’ll get the necklace and we can head out when Max is done whatever he went looking into.” Liz glanced around the room for maybe the tenth time since they sat down seeing if anyone seemed to be watching them. She didn’t know if it was Ava’s feeling that was making her feel on edge or if it was something else but she felt her instincts in high gear and maybe her paranoia as well.
~~
Liz walked into her room seeing everything where she left it the last time she was there. Some things were still haphazardly stacked on the floor and thrown in boxes from when she and Maria tore apart the room looking everywhere for anything that could give them a clue. Of course they hadn’t looked everywhere and she didn’t know how it slipped past her. She walked straight over to the far wall and knelt, running her hand down the wall feeling the familiar grooves in between the bricks then stopped at her very own special lock box. She watched the faint glow from her hand as she unsealed the brick and then wiggled it out of its place. Inside rested her journal and she could see the black rope of the necklace exactly where she left it so many years ago.
Max followed her through the Crashdown once again as she tried to run from the fight she felt brewing. “You didn't give me a chance, Liz!”
“Are you kidding me? I didn't give you a chance? When DIDN'T I give you a chance, max? Do you want me to list them all? Hell, half of them can be summed up in one damn NAME! I've given you nothing but chances and I'm tired.. I'm tired of fighting, max. Of feeling like I don't even know you, feeling like I'm being forced to be what someone else wants.. I'm so tired of this. I can't do it anymore.”
“Come here, It's fine. It's all going to be okay. Please just let me hold you, Liz. We've gotten through worse.. We can get through this too and everything will be just like..”
She spun to face him, “Like what? Like before? That's never going to happen. God, why can't you get that? We're never going to be that couple anymore. We fight over every little thing because you still want me to be this girl that I don't even know anymore! I'm not her.. I can never be her again. I don't even know who I am because I just keep trying to make you happy.. To be this person that you want me to be but I can't do it anymore. I can’t keep playing some part because I’m losing myself.”
“You’re talking crazy, you’re just upset about Harvard and that's okay.” He reached out to touch her hair, “you’re allowed to be upset.”
Liz slapped his hand away and took a few steps back, “STOP! JUST STOP! Do you even hear yourself? I'm allowed? I’m sorry I didn’t know I needed your consent..” She stopped herself and shook her head slowly, “I'm done don't you get it? I'm done, Max.”
"Is this about the college applications again? I told you I was sorry why can't you just get past that? So I made a mistake."
She shook her head, "all we are anymore is a mistake." Liz turned and started to walk away but felt Max’s hand wrap around her arm, jolting her back towards him before coming to a stop.
"You stop and listen to me, damn it!" He paused and his harsh tone softened, "You can't leave, you’re everything Liz."
The anger that flared in Liz's eyes faded a bit, "that's not going to work this time because we both know that's not true. I don't even want that to be true." She tried to move away but his grip tightened.
Her eyes snapped back to his, "let go."
He pushed her away, "fine.. Go. Run away. It's what your best at."
She stumbled backward a few steps before she caught her balance again. The quiet fury burning in her eyes, “like I said all we are anymore is a mistake.”
Liz stormed into her room and the brick flew from its resting place in the wall. She grabbed her journal off the desk and hurled it into the hole and then ripped the whirlwind pendant necklace over her head and threw it into the hole as well. Her anger still boiling through her veins as she grabbed the brick and shoved it back into the wall. Placing her hands over the brick, she pushed some of the heated energy out into the wall, sealing it in place. She pressed her forehead against the cool brick wall willing herself to steady her breathing, to cool the fire in her veins. She heard the music from the radio and realized she had turned on the electronics in her room again. She closed her eyes as the lyrics washed over her.
“I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none”
She pushed off the wall heading straight for her closet and grabbed the bag she had already packed and threw it on the bed then went around grabbing the last minute things she would need, throwing them into her back pack. She took a final glance around the room and realized her vision had become blurry then dropped onto her desk chair, releasing the sobs that were choking her.
“There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening”
She looked at her desk and grabbed a pen with one hand while opening the notebook with her other. Then she let her words flow onto the paper.
Max, I knew you would come back and want to apologize because I know you think I wouldn't leave.. that the Liz Parker you love couldn't leave. But that's the problem that you don’t seem to hear.. I'm not that person anymore. You keep wanting it to go back to the way it was but too much has happened and I don't even know who I've become.. All we do is fight. Don't you ask yourself why that is? Sometimes just your touch feels like a lie. We keep pretending that this will work itself out but it can't because all we’re doing is playing a part that we lost years ago.
“Cause I don’t know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
Cause she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood”
I love you max but I'm afraid it's not the kind of love you want it to be. Without trust.. I can't be in love with you. I know it's confusing.. I don't completely understand it yet either but the one thing I know for sure is that I have to leave. I can't just pretend anymore.. I have to find myself and I need to move on. We've been stuck and I know you've felt it too. You said you changed.. that you want to become a better man.. then you have to listen to what I need. I need time. Time to find out who Liz Parker really is and I can't do that here pretending to be that 16 year old girl. By the time you get this I’ll be gone and I hope that you can find yourself. I know you've been having trouble with your powers and you need time to heal from whatever it is that is tearing you apart, our fighting is only making that worse, so stop thinking about me and concentrate on yourself. Goodbye Max.
Liz heard Ava call her name pulling her back to the present and she reached her hand in for the journal and then the necklace. She wasn’t sure what she thought she would feel but it felt like just a plain old necklace, nothing different. She slipped it over her head and tucked it under her shirt, a slight glow pulsed for a second as it made contact with her skin, a light that she didn’t seem to notice. Liz glanced down to see if anyone could tell what type of necklace she was wearing through her shirt and was satisfied that it couldn’t be detected. She pushed the brick back into its place and sealed it once again. She stood from the floor and put the journal in her bag as she left the room.