Disclaimer: The characters and concepts of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, and 20th Century Fox. Lyrics to (Everything I Do) I Do It For You belong to Bryan Adams, Michael Kamen, John Lange and A&M Records.
Pairings: Tess/Max
Rating: Mature
Summary: On the day Max is laid to rest, Tess recalls the defining moments of their relationship before handing over the Kingship to Michael. Second in the Spoils of War series; I highly suggest you read the other stories in the series Shattered and All's Fair in Love and War to fill in the gaps.
AN2: Even if Max and Tess are not a pairing you typically read, I highly suggest reading it because it provides more history, culture and insight to the Spoils of War Universe. Because of the way this story is set, this will be a long one shot opposed to a multi-part.
Thanks eternally to my betas Kiara Alexis Klay and Whimsicality! You both rock!
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Stand By You
She stared out the window bleakly, bright blue eyes red-rimmed and bloodshot from her night long vigil, a dull ache reverberating through her entire being, her breath coming in shallow pants as she tried to pull herself together for the coming day. The day that marked the end of every hope and dream she’d held for two lifetimes. Clutching her arms over her chest tightly, a soft, anguished sigh bubbled over Tess’s lips as she stared at the tomb that would soon hold her husband’s remains and she closed her eyes to the brightening sky, tears slipping over her cheeks silently.She hated that dawn was coming, that another day was born and that the world hadn’t ended when hers had. Her chest constricted, pressure building in the small cavity like a vise as she tried to fight the tide of overwhelming grief that rose up into her throat bitterly, choking her and closing it off. Inhaling a shuddering breath through her mouth, she pressed a hand to tightly compressed lips in an effort to quell the ever-expanding pain welling inside and failed, her knees buckling as the sun breached the hills.
Sinking to the carpeted ground, her body caved and curled around itself as a heartbroken sob wrenched from her chest, no longer willing to be suppressed, jerking through her body painfully and piercing the shattered pieces of her heart. The dam broken, Tess in a fetal position, her face pressed against the carpet as her body wracked with anguished sobs.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
Two lifetimes. Two lifetimes she’d spent loving this man, her king, her husband, her best friend and both times it ended in his death. This was supposed to be their second chance at love and a life together. He wasn’t supposed to die, to leave her alone again. Gripping the carpet between tightly clenched, trembling hands, another wave of agony ripped through her as she recalled those last moments.
Her fault. Both times it had been her fault he had died.
Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more
She didn’t know how long she’d lay mourning her lost love before she became aware of soft hands stroking through dull, matted blond waves, quietly smoothing them back from her tear-streaked face soothingly and discovered another pair of arms wrapped around her waist. A warm, comforting body pressed against her back, curling around her as she too convulsed with soft cries, just as grief-stricken as the woman she embraced. Clutching Isabel’s hands, she squeezed them gently as her sister-in-law released the empty void that took over when she felt the connection to her brother snuff out.
Turning her head towards the hand running over her hair, Tess stared into Liz’s dull, clouded brown eyes and tried to smile weakly, her lips quivering with the failed effort as another tear slid over her cheek, echoing the trails on her friends face. Closing her eyes, she knew what their presence meant; it was time to prepare for the inevitable – her husband’s entombment. Wishful thinking and hopes couldn’t hold off reality any longer. As much as she wanted to curl up inside herself and never come out, she had duties to attend.
Pulling chilled air into her lungs, she closed her eyes in resignation, slowly erecting the wall that she’d learn to construct in the time she lived with her so-called protector. That impenetrable cave was the only thing that was going to get her through the proceedings. Who knew that the vile man was useful for something. She was a queen and didn’t have the luxury of falling apart at this time. Breathing deeply, she shoved everything away, focusing on what needed to be done instead.
Later…later she could break and it wouldn’t matter – Michael would be king and she would only be vidua’a, queen in name only until he chose to bond.
Rising slowly, she fixed blank eyes on the sisters of her heart, if not actuality, and nodded quietly, letting them know she was ready to start the endless preparations to get her ready for the ceremony. She hated all the pointless primping and observance of custom, it seemed so, well, pointless. She was mourning, on the way to her husband’s funeral not a party! Clenching her fists as an almost uncontrollable rage whipped through her heart, she swiped the tears off her face angrily and cursed the role she was forced to play as well as the constrictions and ties that came with it.
Raising icy blue irises to her friends, she saw the reflection of her pain and anger in their own eyes and softened slightly, knowing they too felt equally trapped by the expectations forced upon them. She didn’t know how she would have made it through the past two days without them, especially Liz; a fact that still surprised her considering she all but stole the woman’s first love. She would have expected bitterness and animosity after everything that had been said and done, not years of friendship and deep, abiding trust and respect.
She owed the petite brunette so much considering she all but paved the way to Max’s heart. It was only after Liz’s sacrifices that Max let her in and he finally saw her as something more than the wedge coming between him and Liz
~
Tess stared at Max with trepidation. Sweat beaded his forehead as he clenched his eyes shut in fierce concentration, his eyebrows furrowing as he tapped into that part of him that had laid dormant for years because he had wanted to forget his alien heritage, preferring to cling to his humanity out of fear and uncertainty. She wasn’t exactly sure why he was so hard-pressed to do so now.She could only guess that after everything that had happened with Pierce and recently meeting the their dupes had stirred up questions he had about the past, not to mention the whole Kyle/Liz situation, although something about that struck her as wrong. She didn’t care what the other girl said. She knew that Liz loved Max heart and soul, just as much as Tess herself loved him and she wouldn’t believe that Liz would do that to Max. There had to be something more behind it.
She wondered if the girl would open and talk to her about whatever was troubling her and why she went through such lengths to kill her relationship with Max. Because there was no doubts in her mind that this had been a deliberate set up. She didn’t buy that Liz and Kyle got caught up and accidentally slept together no matter what they said.
“This isn’t working,” Max growled, his eyes opening, frustration lining his face as he got off the bed and began pacing, running a hand through his hair, his movements tight and jerky. Pressing his fingers to gritty eyes, he tipped his head to the ceiling and exhaled loudly before turning back to her, golden eyes glittering with helpless anger.
Swallowing thickly, she knew some of that anger was still caught up in Liz, although it had gotten better over the past three months since the other girl tried to avoid them as much as possible. Actually she’d been avoiding the entire group except for Maria, Alex and ironically, Michael. Although, she supposed Liz couldn’t very well completely ignore Michael since they worked together.
But it seemed to her, the four of them were privy to some secret that the rest of them didn’t know. And that bugged her.
Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she focused on Max, chewing on her bottom lip and smoothed her a curly strand of golden hair through her fingers, wondering if he’d be open to the offer she was about to make. She had suggested it once before, but it had been right after the Kyle/Liz debacle and he shot her down quickly. She knew that by connecting with him and showing him how to do it, they’d get better results, but she wasn’t sure if he was ready to be that close to her despite their changing relationship.
“Well, we could always try connecting and I can guide you through it, if you want,” she offered hesitantly, watching him carefully, her shoulders tensing for the inevitable rejection she’d come to expect when she attempted to deepen their friendship. Licking her lips nervously, a swell of hope surged through her body when he just continued to study her quietly and didn’t outright reject her suggestion. Looking down at her hands, she continued softly, not wanting to push him given he was actually thinking about it. “You know, if you ever want to, the option is open-ended.”
There was a moment of silence between them as he considered her words and she kept her eyes downcast, not wanting to see the denial on his face and waited for his decision. Her shoulders slumped slightly, her heart aching at his continued rejection of her as the silence drug out for another minute. Sighing, her lungs deflated as she bit back a frown and stared out the window blankly; she should have known better than to say anything.
“Okay,” he whispered, his lips quirking slightly when her head snapped to him, surprise clearly etched into her face, mouth gaping slightly before she regained control over her features. Looking away to gather her scattered thoughts, she couldn’t help the little burst of happiness that leapt in her heart at those words and her lips curved softly as she looked back at him. He shrugged his shoulders slightly, murmuring. “Let’s do it.”
“Um…okay,” she stammered, blinking owlishly and straightened up, watching with wide eyes as he came back towards the bed, towering over her thoughtfully. She averted her eyes slightly to hide the emotions running through them and took a deep breath, meeting his questing gaze once more. “When do you want to do this?”
“How about now?” he asked, his smile widening at her stupefied expression as he sat down on the bed in front of her and took her hands lightly in his. Looking down at their clasped hands, she licked her lips again, her heart beating rapidly as a subtle wash of pink stole across her cheeks at his touch.
“Oh, sure,” she agreed, bobbing her head softly in compliance, clearing her throat of the frog that had lodged itself in it and feeling a little off kilter at his ready acceptance given how uncertain he’d been just months previous. It surprised her that he was willing to trust her to this length. “Well then, just close your eyes and focus on me, seek out our connection and I’ll try to guide you along until you get the hang of it and then I’ll pull out slowly.”
“Okay,” he murmured, taking a deep breath as he closed his eyes. Watching him with wonder for a moment, she took a deep breath herself and closed her eyes, dropping her shields and reaching out with her senses, smiling when she felt the warm amber glow of his aura brushing against hers. Sending a swirl of blue energy his direction, she gasped softly as their aura’s gave off sparks as they touched and merged, a connection snapping in place as his energy washed over her like a welcome embrace.
Reveling in the feel of him surrounding her, she allowed herself to hover in his warmth for a moment while he adjusted to her presence, her body coming alive in remembrance, filling all the empty spaces in her heart and soul like plugs. Opening her eyes to a maze of pathways gilded in gold, she turned to her right, meeting his incredulous gaze and smiled, taking his hand to slowly guide him through the halls of his mind until they faced a large vault.
Cocking a brow, she gestured to the door before them and started to pull away, knowing he needed to face these memories alone and also, she was concerned she’d unconsciously influence him to see things she remembered, giving him false memories. But before she could completely disengage he squeezed her hand to halt her, instinctively knowing that he needed her help unlocking the door. Pressing their hands to the door, golden light flashed across her vision and she inhaled sharply, a million thoughts and feelings bombarding her as the maze faded and she came back to herself.
She watched him quietly for several minutes, waiting for him to come back from whatever internal journey he’d embarked upon, wishing that she dared removing her hands from his to brush back the chestnut hair matted to his forehead. But she didn’t want to disturb him, unintentionally bringing him back before he was ready. Shivering softly, she tried to ignore the soft fingers of his aura brushing against hers, rubbing against her like a cat seeking attention and making her burn for more than he was ready to give.
He twitched slightly, his eyes fluttering a touch before they opened, awe and something she couldn’t place filling glassy, golden eyes that shone with a light she hadn’t seen since their previous life. Releasing her hands he leaned closer to her, brushing the tangle of waves from her face, rubbing the strands between his fingers absently as he continued to stare at her intently, his eyes drifting over her face as if he was trying to commit each feature to memory.
“What is it?” she whispered huskily, her heart thrumming wildly as he crept even closer, still running his fingers through her hair absently, his face soft with wonder and tenderness as it hovered over her upturned face. Licking suddenly dry lips, her breath hitched as he continued to close the distance between them until their lips were inches apart and she could feel his warm breath fan over her lips softly.
“You,” he murmured hoarsely, flicking his eyes back to hers as his hands cupped her face gently, the large, strong hands dwarfing the delicate lines of her jaw. His eyes shimmered with tears, sparkling with a contentment she’d never seen in this life and his aura pressed against hers in response. “I saw you. We were somewhere swimming…the water was red and thick, heavier than here…it slid against my skin like jello and the rocks, similar to here except…they had a gold sheen. It was beautiful. You were…are…beautiful.”
“Gaia Sea,” she replied softly, her voice choked with emotion as she too remembered the place they met as well as one of their favorite spots to swim after they had bonded. She remembered more than one passion-filled night that started with a swim in those waters and ended on the shore when they couldn’t stand the tease any longer. “We had a palace that overlooked it. We’d swim there at night.”
“We were standing…so close to each other…I dipped my head to whisper in your ear and then…” he whispered haltingly as his dipped his head, brushing his lips over hers experimentally before pulling back and meeting surprised but warm cerulean irises for a beat, then sunk into her mouth once more. Heart picking up in tempo as a sweet ache flooded her body, her eyes slid shut and she gasped as he flicked his tongue along the crease of her mouth, deepening the kiss when her lips parted of their own accord.
Sliding her fingers into silky, dark brown strands, she met the tentative thrust of his tongue with a hesitant stroke of her own, breathing snagging as they tangled slowly around another, lips melting together as the kiss slipped from uncertain to heated and inhibitions slid away. Curling her hands into thick, ebony tresses, she inhaled sharply when their lips parted long enough to draw air into starving lungs and her lips curved as he mumbled, “God, I remember your taste, it’s like oranges and spice and honey.
Intoxicating.”
Capturing her lips once more, he opened up the connection wider and her breath stalled in her lungs as their auras merged fully, binding together in a union she remembered in another lifetime, sparking a flow of memories between them.
*flash*
She was standing on a the ridge of the rock formations, her face tipped towards the sun, a carefree smile sliding over her face, her arms outstretched to the heavens as she twirled, her waist-length blonde curls swinging around her. She turned her head to the right and took a startled breath to see him watching her intently, an awestruck smile flitting over his face and knew that he thought her beautiful
*flash*
She ran through a meadow, the palace looming in the background, as she shot a laughing glance over her shoulder at her pursuer, before tossing her curls sassily and broke through some hanging vines onto a moonlit beach knowing he was only a breath behind. Throwing off her robe, she turned to face him and struck a sassy pose, as nude as the day she was born. Giggling at his mock growl and the predatory gleam in his eyes, she spun around and dove into the crimson waters stretching around them.
*flash*
Resting her head against his chest, she smiled to hear the steady thrum of his heart beating steadily against her cheek and curled her fingers around his neck, playing with the fine hairs on the back of it as they swayed together across the dance floor. The scruff of his beard tickled her cheek as he rubbed his against hers, both completely absorbed with one another and oblivious to the gathering crowd watching them.
*flash*
“Tess…” he groaned as they pulled back and stared at each other, tears sliding over their cheeks as he wrapped her in his arms and tucked her against his heart. Pressing her check to his chest, a watery smile touched her lips to hear the familiar rhythmic thrum and she closed her eyes, finding home at last.
~
“Tess…Tess…” a voice whispered by her ear, pulling her out of her reverie and she looked up into concerned brown eyes dully, surprised to see that she had gone through the entire ritual of dressing on auto pilot and lost in her dreams. Closing her eyes, the rising tide of pain broke through that moment of blissful forgetfulness and shattered spun glass dreams completely, breaking her heart once more. Focusing on Isabel, she took the black veil she handed her and fought back the scream bubbling inside. “Honey, it’s time.”“Right,” she her throat convulsing as she tried to choke back the cries threatening to spill over her lips and swayed dizzily as that well of panic and loss seemed to erupt once more. Clutching the edge of her dresser until her knuckles blanched and the sick feeling in her stomach passed, she took several deep breaths to steady her nerves. Waving the other women off, she rebuilt her wall and donned her veil.
“Um, let me just fix my face and we can go,” she nodded quietly, walking over to her vanity and washed the evidence of her grief from her face with a swipe of her hand and tingle of powers before squaring her shoulders, walking out the door, head held high.
Always the queen.
Look into my heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice
“You ready?” Michael asked quietly, tucking her hand on his arm as they stood in the royal chambers waiting for the funeral to , a pall hanging heavily in the air, crushing the very air out of her lungs. Isabel came to stand on the other side of her as they prepared for their march down the aisle for the final viewing before they entombed Max in that cold, dank marble box that shut out the sun and all light.
She couldn’t help but wish that she could join him there. She didn’t want to face the bright, glaring sun that reminded her of his smile and the light that used to sparkle in the depths of amber eyes. A light snuffed out far too soon. She’d rather live in the shadows, was happy to remain in the dark for the rest of her life.
But life was never fair. If it were, her husband would be standing next to her, not lying cold and lifeless in a burnished wooden box.
“N-no,” she stammered brokenly, lifting glassy eyes to meet her brother-in-law’s equally dull, pained whiskey eyes and took a shaky breath as she pushed the grief back once more, her lips compressing into a thin line before she continued hoarsely, “But I’ll never be ready for this, so we may as well go.”
She knew she sounded cold, perhaps indifferent to what was happening, but if she showed more emotion, she knew the tears would never stop and she would run from the hall screaming, would try to crawl into the casket with Max.
“Okay,” he murmured hoarsely, having difficulty holding back his own welling emotions and took a deep breath before nodding to the servant by the door, squaring his shoulders, placing his hand over the trembling fingers clutching his forearm as if it was their only lifeline. Stepping forward, he waited until Isabel flanked Tess’s right side before they began their slow walk to the front of the temple, Kyle and Liz falling in behind the trio, presenting a united front.
Tess ignored the whispers and murmurs of compassion, the sobs and cries of the people surrounding her, every murmur shooting through her heart like so many well-aimed arrows and her grip on Michael’s arm tightened as she fought the overwhelming blanket of grief choking the air. Slamming her senses shut, she staggered slightly, anguish ripping through her body as they neared the front of the room, her beloved’s lifeless yet peaceful face coming into view and a small cry bubbled over her lips before she could contain it.
A hand pressed against her back, sending a wave of strength over her nerves, bolstering her own flagging strength and she tipped her face to meet quiet, calm blue eyes and nodded her thanks to Kyle. Turning back to the front, she quietly wished that she were anywhere but there and fell back into her dreams.
~
“Where are we going?” she asked breathlessly, her hair whipping around her as they drove through the desert twilight, the sweet fragrant summer air blowing around them. Pushing her hair behind her ear, she turned to him with a smile sliding across her face, wondering what he had up his sleeve. He’d been secretive all night, giving her nothing but teasingly cryptic answers and smiling to himself when she’d glare at him playfully.“It’s a surprise,” he laughed, his amber eyes sparkling as he turned his head towards her and flashed one of his slow, sweet Max grins that made her weak in the knees and always had the power to turn her into a little ball of putty in his hands. That smile should come with a warning label; it was deadly. And well he knew it, the jerk.
“I don’t like surprises,” she pouted, crossing her arms over her chest, her lip jutting comically in an effort to get him to budge. Scowling for real when he chuckled at her antics, she stuck her tongue at him and watched him from the corner of her eye, cocking a brow contemplatively, her lips quirking in a sly smile. She bet she knew how to get the perverse man to crack.
Undoing her seatbelt, she slid across the seat and cuddled up to him, running her hand over his thigh teasingly and placed a soft kiss against his thrumming pulse, smiling against his skin when he purred deep in his throat. Flicking her tongue over tender skin, she slid her other hand up over his ribs, reaching up to bury it in soft chocolate locks, tugging on it gently as she knows he loves.
“Mmmmmm,” he hummed, fighting to keep his attention on the road as her lips caressed his neck and nibbled a searing line along his jaw, tensing slightly as her nails slid higher up his thigh, kneading the muscles clenching under her hand. God she was going to drive him crazy. Flicking her a smoldering glance, he dropped a hand onto her knee, breath stuttering as he met silky, bare skin and rumbled huskily. “Keep doing that and I won’t be held responsible for what happens.”
“Really?” she husked against his ear, swiping her tongue over the curve of his ear, breathing heavily as his earthy scent washed over her senses. Nibbling on his lobe lightly before tracing it with light kisses, she knew that people teased him mercilessly as a child for their size, but to her, they were perfect because they were a part of him. And she did so love every part of him. Continuing her teasing assault, she giggled when he jerked as she lightly brushed her fingers over the crease where his thigh and groin joined, and he groaned softly, a light sheen of sweat breaking on his brow. “So what about this?”
“Mmmhmm, nice,” he rasped, his heart pounding in time with hers and she could feel the hot flow of blood racing through his veins through their open connection, his desire crashing over her in waves and inciting her own. Dragging his eyes away from the road momentarily, he tangled fingers into soft, golden waves and pressed his mouth to hers for a hard, demanding kiss, pouring every ounce of his need into the brief caress before turning back with a teasing grin. “But it won’t get you anywhere, minx.”
“Fine, be that way,” she huffed, pulling away and slinking back into her seat, her arms crossed over her chest in mock annoyance, grumbling under her breath about stubborn, cryptic men when he chuckled. Shooting him rueful, yet amused glance, she rolled her eyes and took his hand before focusing out the window, her lips twitching with suppressed mirth. It was impossible to stay annoyed with him when he acted this cute.
“You’ll see soon enough,” he promised as they turned onto a deserted road and she sat up straight as she recognized the entrance of a lake they spent many a night talking about the past and dreaming about the future. He smiled as her eyes lit up, knowing she recognized their secret hideaway, a place they were drawn to time and again because it reminded them of the sea that surrounded their former palace. “Behave yourself.”
Pulling to a stop, he turned off the jeep and quickly climbed out of it, racing around to the other side to open her door. Holding out his hand, he grasped hers and helped her to her feet, keeping her small hand tucked in his as he shut the door and led her to a waiting blanket. Gasping in surprise, her eyes widened as she took in the scene before – a picnic dinner was set beneath the Arizona cypress they’d spent many a night wrapped in each other’s arms.
Tipping her eyes to his, her eyes danced with happiness, a sweet rush of love and contentment rippling through her as he leant over and pressed a sweet kiss against her upturned mouth, tugging on her hand as he pulled away. Staring at the tree in wonder, she smiled at the tiny tea light candles in jars hanging from its branches and spread out on the ground circling the deep red blanket set with cutlery and a picnic basket.
Dropping her hand, he started to walk towards the water, holding up one finger silently when she cocked her head and looked at him questioningly, a secretive smile on his face. Holding her gaze he knelt on the sand, touching it lightly and furrowed his brow in concentration, the reddish brown dirt at his feet taking on a golden hue that quickly spread out over the beach until the rock formations and sand glittered in the moonlight.
Inhaling sharply, her mouth gaped at his audacity and yet her heart leapt at the sweet gesture, an awed, incredulous grin sliding over her face as the desert transformed around her, the tree behind her blossoming with flowering vines that smelled of home. Turning to him once more, she watched as he continued toward the water and dipped his fingers into it, a flash of light rippling over its surface as it changed from murky green to a deep crimson, sparkling like rubies where the moonlight danced.
Rising, he smiled that Max smile again, making her stomach jump and waved his hands over his clothing, manipulating the material into the loose, black lounge pants and fitted sleeveless shirt she recalled him wearing on Antar. Captivated, her throat convulsed slightly as her eyes misted, her lips quivering slightly at the overwhelming love, awe and joy welling in her heart as he walked towards her slowly.
Swallowing thickly as he halted in front of her, she gasped softly when he rested his hand on her shoulder, the heat of it nearly branding her skin as it slid over her arm, down her hip, her ordinary jean skirt and t-shirt morphing into a knee-length, sleeveless burgundy dress that floated around her. Sliding his hand back up her arm, he slid a finger under her chin, tipping it up and cupped her jaw lovingly, wiping away the tear sliding over her cheek with his thumb.
“Beautiful,” he murmured, caressing the lines of her face gently before he dipped his head and brushed his lips over hers softly, pulling her into his arms as her eyes slid shut, heart thrumming as his aura expanded and wrapped around hers. This was a feeling she couldn’t get used to, being totally surrounded by the essence of him; but it was a feeling she never wanted to lose, never wanted to end. How did she get so lucky as to hold this man’s love in two lifetimes?
Breaking apart, neither spoke, not wanting to break the heavy air of enchantment surrounding them and content to just revel in that sense of unity and home that was ever- present when they touched. Resting her head against shoulder, she hummed with pleasure as his fingers trailed over the back of her neck and soft, parted lips pressed against her temple, his warm, light breath fanning her face.
Murmuring with slight discontent as he pulled away, she nonetheless took his outstretched hand and let him lead her to the picnic blanket for dinner, blushing slightly when her stomach rumbled in agreement. He grinned at her, holding her hand until she got situated before sitting himself and breaking out a meal of cold chicken, fruit and other finger foods that he seemed to get a kick out of feeding her occasionally.
They laughed and talked about times gone by and shared what happened during the day as they ate, reveling in this closeness they shared that no one had ever been able to touch. Dinner was a nice, but she kept sneaking looks at him, wondering why he went through such lengths and knew he still had something up his sleeve, she just couldn’t fathom what.
Scooping up a bite of cake, she held it out him, smirking mischievously as she purposely missed his mouth and smeared frosting across his nose, giggling as he gave a mock outraged grunt. Glowering at her, he crawled toward her, a predacious gleam in his eyes as he scooped up a finger full of whipped cream and she gave a little squeak as he lunged for her, half-heartedly protesting as he pinned her against the blanket, smearing the sweet concoction on her nose and lips.
Leaning over her, he licked the sweet cream off her nose first with an exaggerated swipe, leaving her snorting and squirming in disgust before capturing her lips sweetly, flicking his tongue over the soft flesh, sucking up every bit of the sugary substance lining them.
Moaning softly, she returned the kiss, deepening it as his mouth opened beneath hers, sliding her tongue against the velvet rasp of his, head spinning at the sweet-spicy mix of chocolate, Tabasco sauce and cream sliding over her palate.
Their mouths melded, meshing perfectly, brushing together in soft, sweet kisses as hands glided over skin softly, tongues tangling languidly until air became a necessity and he pulled back, smiling down on her happily. Caressing her cheek, he met cerulean eyes and whispered, “I love you. You know that, right?”
“Of course, Max,” she giggled, wondering what brought that question on. How could she not know that he loved her? He showed her in a million different ways every day, not to mention she could feel it loud and clear when they connected. “You tell me everyday.”
“I just want to make sure,” he murmured, serious eyes drifting over her features slowly as he stroked his fingers through her hair idly, a small smile touching his lips. “You know because of everything that happened when you first came here. I don’t want you to think I’m still caught up in…”
“Shhh…it’s ok,” she replied, understanding dawning as she pressed her fingers to his mouth gently to quell the rest of his words. He still carried some lingering guilt over how he’d reacted when he first found out who she was and what they had been to each other on Antar. But she’d forgiven and forgotten a long time ago. “Liz was your first love. I understand that. I don’t doubt your love for me.”
“You’re amazing, you know that?” he smiled, pressing a soft kiss to her mouth, his lips playing, brushing over hers lightly, his gentle sweeping caresses igniting the embers that burned constantly for this man.
“Well, you’re not so bad yourself, Mr. Evans,” she teased as he pulled away, her eyes dancing with laughter as he fixed her with a disgruntled look at her under whelming words, but she couldn’t resist tweaking him some. “I’m kind of fond of you too.”
“Kinda?” he rumbled, cocking an indignant brow as he leaned over her menacingly, straddling her and pinning her to the blanket once more, his fingers lacing with hers as he pressed them into the blanket on either side of her head.
“Sort of?” she inquired, brow furrowing in mock confusion, but her eyes gave her away as they met amused amber, her breath stuttering as he slid her arms above her head, pinning her wrists down with one hand and leaned in, eyes glinting dangerously.
“Sort of!” he snorted, pressing a quick, hard kiss to her giggling mouth as he ran his fingers over her ribs teasingly, their callused tips dancing over her most ticklish areas and sending her into peals of laughter.
“Okay, okay, mercy,” she cried out between giggles, her eyes tearing with mirth as she struggled to get loose, bucking against his legs to dislodge him. Panting, she met his twinkling eyes as he halted his torment and smiled softly. “ I love you to pieces, happy?”
“That’s better, woman,” he grumbled, laying down beside her, sliding his arm behind her, pillowing her head in the crook of his arm and pulled her to him, watching her quietly, wrapping one tousled curl around his finger. “Tess?”
“Hmmmmm?” she murmured, eyes closed as she enjoyed the warm thrum of his energy washing over her in waves and nearly gasped at the amount of love that poured through their connection. Stroking his chest absently, she loved the way his muscles jumped under her fingers and the purr that slipped past his lips at the caress.
“Marry me,” he whispered, his heart in his throat and blood racing as a tiny trickle of uncertainty and fear of rejection leaked through their bond, his breath growing ragged as he waited for her answer.
“What?” she asked, her eyes popping open with surprise, and stared at him, her brow pinching in slight confusion, uncertain if she heard him right and she wasn’t just imaging he’d said that. She knew he had something planned but this had been the last thing she had expected tonight. Welcome, but unexpected.
“Will you marry me?” he repeated, licking his lips nervously as he held out a gold bracelet embossed with crimson stones. She stared at the bracelet in wonder, knowing it to be a replica of the one he had presented to her in another life time and couldn’t help the niggling worry that he wanted Ava not her. “Bond with me, whatever it is we do.”
“Oh, Max, I’d love to…” she whispered hoarsely as she stared at the jewel that represented all of her teenage dreams but now that she was faced with this moment, her heart stuttered, wondering if they were really meant to do this or if they were simply going to be repeating a disastrous past.
“But?” he queried, his confusion evident, hurt creeping into his eyes as this wasn’t the reaction he had expected. He knew she loved him, but something was holding her back and he couldn’t understand what.
“We’re so young,” she replied feebly, chewing on her bottom lip, dread curling in her stomach as unexpected flash of fear snaked its way over her spine. What if by fulfilling destiny, she set off a chain of events that led them down the same path. She didn’t know if she could live through his death again.
“I know, but this feels right to me,” he argued, running his fingers over her brow gently, trying to smooth the lines away and sighed, trying to find the words to tell her how he felt. “I’ve loved you for two lifetimes. I don’t want to wait another few years when I know this is meant to be.”
“Oh, Max,” she sighed, her throat constricting with emotions, both sweet and bitter, and she tried to shake that niggling fear off, telling herself that it was just her imagination and her sometimes pessimistic view on life manifesting. “Can you give me some time to think about it. I want to be your wife more than anything, but I don’t want us to rush into it either.”
“Okay, if that’s what you want,” he murmured unhappily, stroking her arm gently, wishing he could figure out what had her hesitating. He knew it had nothing to do with their age despite what she said, but he also didn’t want to push her into anything she wasn’t ready for. “But, Tess, I’m not going to change my mind and I’m going to remind you everyday that you’re the only one I want.”
“I’m counting on that, Mr. Evans,” she smiled gratefully, taking a deep breath and bit her lip unhappily at the sadness tingeing his once hopeful gaze, hurting because she knew she was the one that had put it there. She needed to get over this silly fear before it pushed him away for good.
~
If only she had listened to that little voice inside, maybe Max would still be alive and she wouldn’t be staring into his placid but cold face, feeling like someone shoved his hand into her chest and ripped her heart out. If she had paid attention to that rare flash of intuition, insight, premonition, whatever one wanted to call it, the skin under her fingers wouldn’t be waxy and cold, but warm, vibrant and so full of life.Struggling to draw air into her lungs, she turned away from the casket, blindly reaching for Michael’s arm and felt a small measure of calm slide over her when he grasped her hand and Isabel slipped an arm around her waist. Their touch reminded her that she was not alone and that was the only thing keeping her from sliding down into the abyss that whispered so invitingly since Max had breathed his last breath.
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
She sank down in the plush, red chair that had been placed in the front center of the room, two chairs flanking her on each side, Michael on her left with Liz next to him and Isabel on her right with Kyle beside her. If she weren’t so broken, she’d smile at the way they naturally aligned themselves, but that would mean showing an outward emotion and once she did that, they’d all come crashing out.
She preferred the void to the searing ache that ripped through her body and had been her constant companion as her connection to Max tore away, his essence slipping from her as it broke free from his body. She had tried so desperately to hold onto strand with all her might, trying to forcibly hold his spirit with her pure will alone. And then, when it became obvious she was losing the fight to keep him anchored, she gave, sliding into that sucking void, content to follow him into oblivion.
But he wouldn’t let her.
He had enough consciousness to realize she was willing herself to die along with him and with what was left of his essence, pushed her away, slamming her out of the void and back into the realm of the living. Damn him anyway. Even in death, he pushed her, fought against her with a stubbornness known to few.
~
“You can’t keep avoiding me Tess,” he called after her as she stormed down the hall, frustration lacing his voice as he pursued her and she cursed her petite stature as his long, agitated strides quickly ate up the distance between them. Damn, she knew she should have taken the other passage. “I’m not going to slip quietly away.”“I’m not avoiding you,” she hissed, belying that very denial by her hurried trek down the hallway. She knew she had to face him sooner or later, but right now, her mind whirling with the news from the warfront, she’d prefer later. Like maybe next year. Okay, that wasn’t likely, but still, she had more serious concerns on her mind and she just didn’t know if she was ready to answer his question.
“Bullshit,” he cursed, finally catching up with her and grabbing her arm, swinging her around to face him, glowering at her heatedly and barely restraining the desire to throttle her, then kiss her soundly until she gave up this foolishness. “Don’t play that game with me. I know you too well. Two worth!”
“Will you stop reminding me of that!” she groused, yanking at her arm and huffing when he refused to relinquish his hold on her. Cocking her brow, she lifted a glowing finger threateningly and moved to zap him, smirking when he hastily dropped it. “I’m well aware of how long we’ve known each other. And I’m not avoiding you! I’ve just been…busy. You know…war, famine, dying all around us.”
“Keep telling yourself that, Amariavati,” he whispered hotly, meeting crackling flame blue eyes with simmering amber, his movements tight, controlled and deliberate as he invaded her space. He knew calling her by her former name would strike a nerve, but then again, he was trying to get a reaction from her. “I never took you to be a coward.”
“Stop calling me that!” she snapped, stepping away from him and putting some distance between them, tossing her head at him defiantly as she crossed her arms over her chest. Narrowing her eyes, she flicked him with an impatient moue before continuing down the hall towards her rooms, tossing over her shoulder. “And I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Then prove it!” he challenged, quickening his pace so that he passed her, cutting off her escape once more and crossed his arms over his chest, smirking when she scowled at him once more. He did love pricking her temper. “Yes or no?”
“I told you, I need time,” she spat, trying to push past him and huffing when he refused to budge and only pushed back. Licking her lips nervously, her eyes darted around the hall, hoping no one was playing witness to their argument.
“Time for what?” He scoffed, getting heartily sick of her avoidance of their bonding. It had been several months since he asked and his patience was worn thin. All he was an answer one way or another so he didn’t continue to live in this limbo. “To come up a reason why we shouldn’t be together I can combat anything you come up with, so give it up Tess!”
“It’s not that simple…” she trailed off, her heart thrumming madly as she tried to make sense of why she was so scared to follow her heart; couldn’t help but wonder why she was so convinced that by bonding with him, they were playing out a plan long in the works and she was going to lose him.
“It is, you’re just too scared to admit it,” he rasped almost inaudibly, the fight going out of him as he turned his back and ran a hand through his hair, his shoulders slumping slightly at her continued silence. If she’d just open up and tell him what was bothering her, maybe they could solve this. But damn, she was stubborn. “Tomorrow, Tess, you will tell me tomorrow or…”
“Or what?” she asked hoarsely as her heart sped up and blood chilling at the defeat in his tone, her fear growing exponentially, tracing their cold, teasing fingers along her spine. Only this time the fear shifted when she realized she was going to lose him for sure if she kept this up.
“Or maybe I’ll find someone who does want me,” he murmured quietly, squeezing his eyes shut against the ache building in his chest, threatening to spill over and overwhelm him. Taking a deep breath, he squared his shoulders and focused sad eyes on the face he loved so much, waiting for her reaction.
“You’ll what?” she replied brokenly, her face clouding, pain slashing her heart at the thought that he might choose to seek out Liz or choose someone entirely different to be his mate. Swaying dizzily, she clutched her stomach and looked around the hall blankly.
“I will not sit around while you play games with my heart,” he stated firmly, walking the few steps to her, tipping her chin so he could read her eyes, a slight smile curving his lips as he saw the exact reaction he’d hoped for. She was his, always had been. Walking away with a touch more confidence, he called over his shoulder as he left. “I’ll expect your decision tomorrow.”
“Insufferable ass,” she muttered darkly, knowing she had played right into his hands with that challenge and scowled as she realized he’d heard her when a chuckle floated down the hall. What the hell was she going to do now?
~
“Lady Ava?” a voice interrupted her thoughts, shaking her out of the deep contemplation she had been in for the past hour since Max had left her. Looking up, her brow furrowed as she noticed a healing apprentice hovering in the door watching her solemnly. “I need you to come with me.”
“What? What is it?” she asked quietly, her heart skipping a beat at the sober expression on the boy’s face before it began racing. She hated that healers always had the same stoic, blank look whether it was a minor injury or something more serious, never giving any indication of what she could expect. Blanching, her mouth dried and breath hitched at the thought that another of her friends might have fallen.
“His Majesty, Zan is hurt …” he began, but never got the chance to finish what he was saying because the ashen-faced woman gave a strangled cry and ran out the door before he could impart his news.
Tess ran through the halls, her heart pounding in her ears, panic sluicing through iced blood and a cold sweat broke across her brow, as she feared she was too late to tell him that he was her heart and soul. To tell him she couldn’t live without him. To tell him that no matter what happened in the future she would be happy to stand by his side, through thick and thin, sickness and health and whatever vow he wanted her to make.
Turning the corner, she rushed headlong to the glowing open door of their sick room, knowing that her hedging had been silly and pointless. Even if this did set off a chain of events that led to their deaths once more, at least now, she was his and he was hers. Panting, she rushed through the door, looking around frantically and near cried with relief when she found him sitting on a bed, watching her stoically, his brow cocked.
Brow pinched with annoyance, she looked him over for cuts, bruises or other injuries, but found nothing more than a swollen ankle wrapped in ice and a small scrape on his cheek. Heart returning to normal, she stared at him with a small measure of exasperation.
“This is the great emergency?” she asked drolly, cocking a brow at his disheveled appearance, breath hitching and heart now thrumming for a different reason as she took in his bared chest, noticing he was shirtless for the first time now that fear wasn’t pumping through her veins. God he was so beautiful.
“Who said it was an emergency?” he countered, raising his brows as her eyes drifted over him covetously and smirked, eyes glinting with amusement when they met hers.
“The…well…actually no one, they just said you were hurt,” she admitted grudgingly, realizing she hadn’t given the servant a chance to explain what was wrong before she was off and running heedlessly through the halls, her heart in her throat.
“So sorry to disappoint you,” he grunted under his breath, rubbing his ankle, his face clouding as he remembered their earlier disagreement and the reason he was injured in the first place.
“What?” she asked, brow furrowing as she walked over to his bed and wondering why he hadn’t just healed the ankle. A sprain was child’s play to some one with his healing abilities, so why bother with the icing?
“Nothing,” he muttered, not really wanting to repeat his barb and grunting in frustration as pain flared up his leg. This was so embarrassing. He’d never lost control of his powers before. “I just needed some help healing as I’m too upset to do this on my own.”
“How?” she queried, nodding to the ankle in question as she stepped up to the table, removing the ice pack and rubbing the slightly fevered skin lightly, pulling back when he flinched slightly. “Sorry.”
“Michael and I were sparring and I stepped into a hole in the ground,” he his tone slightly sullen as he tried to keep his breath deep even and ignored the way her touch shot electricity over his spine.
“Oh,” she smiled slightly, getting an unexpected thrill that he had been upset enough with their disagreement to attempt pounding on Michael for a while, all the while knowing the other man would end up besting him. “Ok, well let me help with this.”
“Fine,” he mumbled, bracing himself for the inevitable connection and heat that flowed between them whenever they were this close. Throwing up his shields, he prayed that they’d be enough to keep him from falling to her feet and begging for her to just give him a chance. A man has to have some pride after all.
Tess centered herself, pooling her energy in her hands and tapped into his aura, using his innate healing ability to center the little bit of a gift she had inside herself and acted as the focus he needed to heal the tear in muscle and ligament. Warmth suffused her body as his strength, love and trust filled her, along with the cool brush of disappointment and hurt. Swallowing hard, she pushed the feelings away until she had mended the rents that were paining him and then pulled back, her eyes misting over.
“Thanks,” he whispered, his hands itching to take her in his arms and hold her after being on the receiving end of all the love, pain, fear and frustration that had filtered through his own shields. But he had tried so many times to breach that wall and he just didn’t have it in him to butt heads again tonight. Clambering off the table, he touched her cheek softly before walking towards the door. “I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Max,” she whispered, her heart welling with everything she had felt and seen while connected with him and finally broke. She wanted this man, all of him and even if this led to disaster, life was too short not to take this chance. “Yes.”
“What?” he whispered, whipping around and staring at her profile, convinced he’d heard wrong or that maybe he had dreamed that word had slipped over her lips. Walking over to her, he faced her, tipping her chin up so he could read her eyes.
“Yes, I’ll marry you, bond with you, be your wife, your mate, your whatever…” she rambled, averting her eyes slightly at the intensity of his gaze before she squared her shoulders and met shining amber once more. “Yes.”
“Yeah?” he grinned, pulling her against him and notching her head under his chin as his gaze misted slightly, his heart thrumming wildly against her ear and he pressed a kiss to her temple before husking, “About damn time you came to your senses, woman.”
“Well you know me, stubborn to a fault,” she snorted, wrapping her arms around his waist, squeezing him tightly as a happy smile quirked her lips and buried her face into his neck, musk, desert and that scent she could only name Max teasing her senses.
“You? Perish the thought,” he quipped dryly, leaning back to look down at her, laughter dancing in his eyes and he dipped down, brushing a light kiss over her lips when she tipped her head up to him.
“You know, we’re not bonded yet, I can still change my mind,” she threatened half-heartedly, giggling when he scoffed at her words and pulled her closer to him, fitting her to his body as if he were trying to meld them together.
“You won’t,” he replied with mock arrogance, cocking his brow as a challenge and smirked when she refused to deny his assessment. “You love me too much.”
“Yeah, yeah I do,” she murmured, brushing the hair falling over his brow back before cupping his cheek lovingly, pulling him down for a soft sweet kiss.
“I love you too, me lume sydan, (my heart’s fire),” he whispered against her lips, sliding his hand to cradle the back of her head, his long fingers tangling in the silky waves at the nape and sunk back against her mouth for a deep, searing kiss.
~
So damn stubborn. She hated that about him. She loved it as well. He never gave up on her, not for one minute. He had always believed that they were meant to be.How ironic, that when she first came to Roswell, she did everything to get him to acknowledge destiny and then, when it came time to face it, she’d been the one to shy away. But by that time, she’d learned Liz’s secret; that Future Max had told her to push her and Max together and the war had come anyway, forcing her to realize you can’t outrun destiny.
It will always find you no matter how hard you try to change things.
Sliding her eyes shut, a wave of exhaustion and helpless rage coursed through her blood and she clenched her fists, tears leaking from her eyes as she fought the scream welling in her heart at the way this supposed fix to the time line turned out. She had no idea why that future version of Max thought keeping her here would make difference in this God forsaken war. It seemed to her, the only thing she’d succeeded in doing is getting the King killed.
Again.
There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way
Snapping out of her stupor for the moment, she inhaled sharply, drawing air into her burning lungs, her breath hiccupping painfully, completely unaware that she’d been holding her breath until her body forced her lungs to react. The sharp noise drew looks as Michael pried her nails out of his arm and squeezed her hand tightly, rubbing the back it soothingly as Isabel took the other, unfurling it to reveal purple crescents bruises from her fruitless fight to hold back her pain.
Turning her face from the pitying stares, she numbly stared at the presiding priest giving the last blessing, marking Max’s head with a sacred sigil and her body jerked at the soft click of a latch as they closed his coffin in preparation for the final entombment. Her throat burned, constricting painfully as the pressure she’d been fighting all morning rose, her body quaking in effort, eyes welling with tears as a councilman stepped to the fore.
She’d been dreading this moment, getting her legs to cooperate long enough to stand and accept Max’s ceremonial robe, much as a soldier’s widow would receive the American flag that covered his coffin. Drawing several shallow, shaky breaths, she squeezed the hands keeping her anchored in the here and now and steeled herself, rising to her feet unsteadily, grateful when Michael and Isabel stood with her, lending her their strength as she walked forward haltingly.
Relinquishing their hands, she reached for the crimson and gold silk with trembling hands, her stomach swirling sickly as the cool material slid against her fingertips and shuddering, her knees turning to jelly, she took it, clasping the robe against her heart. Clenching her eyes closed, she broke remembering the first time she’d seen him wearing it and buried her face into the fabric, whimpering as his scent filled her nose.
~
“You make such a beautiful bride, Tess,” Liz whispered, her dark eyes shining with awe and happiness for her friend. Tess looked over her shoulder at the petite brunette, her eyes sparkling, cheeks flushed and glowing as she giggled with undiluted joy and smoothed her hands over the creamy lace over her bodice. Reaching over to Liz, she squeezed her honor attendant’s hand briefly and was amazed they’d all even made it to this day given her fears and stubbornness.Turning back to the mirror in front of her, she smiled at her reflection softly, flicking lively blue eyes to meet Isabel’s eyes in the glass holding the other blonde’s gaze for a moment as her smile broadened, trying to remember the last time she had felt so happy. It had to have been in her last lifetime, when she was in a similar room, in a similar dress and facing a similar ceremony with the only man who has held her heart.
How did she get this lucky?
Tearing her eyes away from her sister-in-law’s glowing gaze, she reached toward the vanity, her trembling fingers wrapping around a delicately wrought, filigree circlet and clasped it between her hands, staring at it in wonder. Was she really ready to take this vow and accept the role that came with it? Queen. She’d always known that was her destiny, but somehow it never felt real until this moment.
“You are going to be a wonderful queen and you know it, Amariavati,” Isabel whispered encouragingly, echoing words she’d spoken in another lifetime when she’d seen the same uncertainty flit across the other woman’s face. Taking the circlet from her friend’s hands, just as she did then, she carefully set it on her upswept golden waves, squeezing her shoulders quietly as Tess stared at herself, awed tears sparkling in all three women’s eyes.
“I couldn’t have done this without you,” she whispered hoarsely, squeezing each of their hands as her eyes misted and her trembling lips tipping up in a hesitant smile, as she grew accustomed to the image reflecting from the glass in front of her. The other two swallowed heavily as their eyes met briefly and smiled, nodding to each other before flicking back to the blond. “You’ve been the best friends anyone could have.”
“We know,” Liz lofted irreverently, her chocolate eyes sparkling with mischief as she nudged her friend and tried to infuse a dose of humor to the sober moment, grinning when it had the desired result as a laugh bubbled over Tess’s lips. “You can pay us back later. I’m quite fond of chocolate. Now, no more tears, gorgeous, it’s your wedding day!”
“Yeah, it is,” she whispered, a giddy smile breaking over her face, lighting it with that soft, ethereal glow that only brides and new mothers know, the one that comes from a rare moment of absolute, pure bliss. Standing, Tess wrapped her arms around her companions, reveling in this serene, quiet moment as they were so rare at this time and reminded them of why they fought so vigilantly.
“Ready?” Isabel asked, wrapping her arm around the petite blonde and squeezing before pulling away to grab a crimson and gold ceremonial robe from the armoire and sliding it on over her simple dress as Liz donned a similar robe. Tess stared at the girls, clothed in the royal colors and her stomach fluttered at the thought that she’d soon be wearing the same colors, her husband’s colors.
“Yes,” she whispered, slipping a cream and gold bride’s robe over her dress, one marking her as in transition from leaving her house and joining another. During the ceremony, her husband’s family would present her a new ceremonial robe in their house’s colors and embroidered with their symbols. “I’ve been ready all my life.”
~
She stood at the chamber doors, shifting nervously, each of her hands resting on one of her adoptive parents’ forearms, Jim on her right and Amy on her left. They had agreed to fill the role of her parents since hers were trying to hold their planet, Dalera, together during the continuing unrest and chaos left in the aftermath of war. Both were dressed in cream as well since they stood in proxy and didn’t hold any house colors.
“You look beautiful, sweetie,” Amy said, patting her hand softly as they waited for the double doors to open and the ceremony to begin. She tipped her head up and smiled at the woman who’d been so supportive through this whole thing, especially given the way she’d lost Maria just a couple years before. The other woman smiled at her, her eyes shining with unshed bittersweet tears. “Max is a lucky man.”
Turning to Jim, she smiled at him as well, her heart speeding up as the doors opened slowly in front of them, the typically austere temple decorated in swaths of crimson, gold and ivory material, the pews covered in a deep red velvet shot through with gold threading. The room was adorned with blood red, Forever Young and cream Ariana roses, cherry hypericum, white cymbidium and stephanothis, all flanked with deep green fern or Italian ruscus and several large cream-colored urns filled with branches, draped with white fairy lights.
People rose in their seats as they stepped through the door, but she barely noticed as her heart thrummed and the world narrowed, her eyes only for the tall, brunet man standing in the front of the room in an unadorned crimson robe. Flanked by Michael and Kyle, Max stood to the right, an awestruck smile sliding across his face as she began her march down the aisle and she couldn’t help a giddy smile in return.
‘You’re beautiful, my Amariavati,’ he whispered into her mind, his voice hushed and reverent as he opened their connection, sending a wave of love and wonder through, his aura wrapping around her like an embrace. Her breath hitched softly, heart jumping at the feel of him surrounding her and she sent her own love and joy to him, her eyes misting as they came to the front.
‘You too,’ she breathed, taking him in as Jim and Amy handed her off to him, completely oblivious of the ritualistic words incanted releasing her from their care into his as she was far too wrapped up in glowing amber eyes. His eyes crinkled at her assessment of him and he flushed slightly, taking her hands in his and brought them to his lips, brushing a soft kiss against the knuckles. “I mean; you’re handsome as always.”
‘Actually, I kind of liked being called beautiful,’ he teased, his eyes laughing down at her and she grinned back sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders. She knew she should be paying attention to the proceedings but she couldn’t help getting caught up in him, just as she did in their prior lifetime. He’d always had that affect on her. ‘As long as you don’t say it around Michael. God knows he’d tease me mercilessly.’
‘My lips are sealed,’ she laughed, cerulean irises laughing at him, and gave a subtle wink and pressed a hand to his cheek, smiling when he tipped his head to place a soft kiss against her palm. Swallowing thickly, her eyes shimmered with a thin sheen of tears and was about to say something when she heard an unfamiliar rumble of laughter in her head and her startled eyes whipped to a grinning Michael.
‘Too late for that Max,’ he snorted, looking slightly bemused and she assumed he was trying to figure out why he was hearing them in his head when it’d never happened before. As far as she knew, none of the others had developed the ability to mindspeak. Brow pinching thoughtfully, she startled further when a feminine laugh joined in and all three heard Liz snort, ‘But we already knew that you were a bit of a pretty boy, so we’ll let it slide this time.’
‘Speak for yourself, Parker,’ Michael snorted, his bright caramel eyes dancing with glee as he faced the three. Tess almost snickered as a she could almost see him salivating over the endless blackmail fodder this could foster.
‘Oh great, am I going to have to start watching what I say around you two?’ Max griped, his cheeks flushing further as Tess, Michael and Liz all laughed at his expense. Shaking his head, he sent his bride a rueful smile before smirking wickedly and he decided to give her a bad time. ‘Guess that means no more telling you how much I want to throw you on the bed and…’
‘Whoa Max, let’s keep the thoughts PG, okay?’ Liz winced, instinctively stepping back and putting her hands over her ears as if it’d stop the thoughts from reaching her mind, shivering delicately. Michael turned faintly green, shuddering at the image Max placed in his head before glaring at his brother balefully and nodded in agreement.
‘If you please,’ an amused voice broke in, making all four snap their heads to the priest in front of them and they shifted uncomfortably when they realized he heard every word of their byplay. ‘I’d like to start the ceremony. And no, this won’t last. It’s just a side affect of the connection you forged for the ceremony. You won’t have to listen to them after this.’
‘Thank God, for that, my brothers sex life is the last thing I want to be privy to, ’ Michael muttered, making the rest of them laugh and Tess felt a moment’s sadness that Kyle and Isabel hadn’t been a part of their union. But each of them had other roles to play, and given Kyle’s propensity for poking at Max, it was probably a good idea he hadn’t heard the exchange.
‘Focus, Michael,’ Liz quipped lightly, meeting Tess’s eyes laughingly and squeezing her hand as the other woman’s mirth bubbled over. Tess grinned at the teasing and banter and was almost sad that the connection wouldn’t last beyond this moment. Almost. There were certain things she never wanted to know about either of them.
‘Bite me, Parker,’ Michael shot back, rolling his eyes mockingly before exchanging a look with Max as if to say ‘what are you going to do with them’ and they grinned at each other before turning back to the women in front of them.
‘Gladly, Guerin,’ Liz lobbed, cocking her brow at him and smirking as he gave a choked cough and his surprised glance told her she had managed to rattle him with that rejoinder. Eyes sparkling, she turned back to Max and Tess with an innocent smile.
‘Hello, trying to get married here,’ Max laughed, shaking his head at the both of them as he took Tess’s hands in his, squeezing them affectionately and turned to face the amused priest waiting for them. Tess grinned as Michael and Liz fell in behind them, noticing that Michael, slightly bemused, couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from the pretty brunette and watched her as if he was trying to figure out what she’d meant by her last comment.
Focusing on the ceremony at hand, Tess went through the motions instinctively, paying little regard to the actual words and actions until they got to the robe ceremony. Taking a deep breath, her stomach fluttered as Liz and Isabel came up behind her while Michael and Kyle stood behind Max, Isabel and Kyle holding matching crimson and gold robes in their arms.
~
The same robe she now clutched to her breast, drowning in the scent of him, the already fading wisps of desert sun, pungent musk and complex blend of spices filling her senses until she could almost feel him there, hovering just beside her. Almost as if she could reach out and touch him. But she knew it was just wishful thinking, a hopeless dream and when she opened her eyes; all she would have is empty arms and a small token to serve as a bittersweet reminder of a destiny gone irrevocably wrong.Lifting her head, she focused dull, lifeless eyes on the men in front of her, each holding out a hand in consolation and wanted to rage at their pathetic, cold attempts at understanding, their empty platitudes and hollow murmurs of sympathy. She wanted to scratch at those eyes that held formality instead of a heartfelt mourning.
Who were they to tell her that they were sorry for her loss? What did they know?
They could never understand what she was going through, never begin to fathom what it felt like to have that precious thread of life ripped from her soul or the gaping, left behind. Could never understand what it was like to endlessly reach for a phantom connection, only to come up empty handed once more; what it was like to only feel like half a person.
Could never grasp the endless dark that consumed her, how it beckoned with false promises and pipe dreams, how every minute she had to fight its sly, seductive pull, to keep it from dragging her down into its cold, dank chasm.
Sorry did her no good. Sorry wouldn’t bring him back.
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - yeah I'd die for you
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
He was gone.
And no amount of science or magic could bring him back this time. The Granilith, while sympathetic to her pleas and pain, had spoken. There wasn’t a third chance for them because she had a destiny that extended beyond Max, beyond Zan and work to do before she was reunited with her husband. She had spoken to her in a rare moment of clarity when she’d tried to slip away with her husband, only to be ripped back into the realm of the living, Her voice echoing in her head.
‘There is a reason for all things, child. Even the painful ones that seem to make no sense at the time. I need you here; you have duties yet to fill.’
Duty. The story of her life. Duty, obligation, sacrifice, they were words that had been drilled into her head in both lifetimes. Sacrifice the one for the greater good, for the well being of the all. She was so sick of everyone trying to tell her how to feel, what to think, how to act and how she needed to put herself aside. When did she get the opportunity to be more than the title that she held?
Clenching the robe, she took a deep breath, and then another and another, the world spinning around her sickly, her head swimming as panic tightened her chest in tight bands, the chilling, sinister emotion trickling through her veins like ice water. Everything got hot and then achingly, mind-numbingly icy as her skin crawled with a million, tiny pinpricks of sensation, tingling as if she’d been out in the cold for too long.
Shaking her head to push off the tidal wave of panic, she gasped and staggered slightly as her clothing grew unbearably tight and closed in, binding her, just as the ties of both lifetimes bound, constricted and trapped her onto this path. If only she had seen the signs.
It was always the quietest before the storm.
~
“You can’t get away from me, Amariavati!” he laughed, racing through the trees after their impromptu escape from the guards that had been hovering over what was supposed to be a sweet, romantic picnic getaway for the two of them despite the mounting tensions. They had both been on edge over the past few months as the other side seemed to encroach on more and more of their territory.The war front, while simmering, had been unusually silent over the past few weeks and while everyone was hoping that things might be settling, Tess couldn’t help but worry something huge was brewing. She didn’t see an end in sight to Kivar’s attempt at gaining control of the Granilith as well as the, as yet, unknown Segart or Segartris bonded to the deity. He was obsessed with retaining both, supposedly in the name of Antar.
So when Max had asked her to go on a picnic, she almost refused, worried that it wasn’t the best time to be leaving the citadel despite desperately needing a break from the palpable tension choking the air in the palace. Initially he waved off her concerns, but when he felt her fear, he agreed and promised they’d remain within the stronghold walls.
Agreeing reluctantly, mostly because she wanted a few private moments with her husband, they had nearly made it out the door when Michael cut them off, insisting that they take a couple of guards with them. He hadn’t liked the reports he’d been getting from their various spies in the enemy camp and he wasn’t about to lose either of them on his watch. She agreed immediately, the knot that had settled in her stomach earlier in the day clenching tighter as the day had worn on.
But after an hour of talking and laughing under the guards eyes, she’d forgot her inhibitions and when Max gave her that look, the one they’d often shared when they decided to give their guards the slip, she grinned back, nodding eagerly. Which is how she ended up running through the trees with her husband in mad pursuit, allowing him to get close only to mask her presence and dart away once more.
Tossing her head, she threw him a teasing glance, ready to give up her game and let him catch her this time and squealed when he sensed it, doubling his speed, reaching out and grabbing her around the waist and dragging her against his chest. Giggling, she gasped as he pinned her to a tree, tangling his fingers in her hair as he kissed her soundly, his face and body relaxed for the first time in months.
Weaving her fingers in his hair, she sighed, opening her mouth without thought when he stroked her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, delving between the hot silken folds at her invitation. Arching into his body, she hummed softly, the taste of wine and chocolate dancing on her palate and making her heart beat wildly, her breath to catch in the back of her throat and her head to spin. There was nothing she loved more than his kisses.
“Well, well, well, what have we here?” a taunting voice broke them out of their sensual haze, chasing a chill down her spine as Max spun around, stepping in front of her protectively and his back stiffened as he noticed Khivar’s mark tattooed on the other man’s smudged neck. “It’s the Royal Brat and his Royal Bitch all alone. Looks like it’s our lucky day.”
“Who are you?” Max demanded, holding his hand up defensively despite knowing his offensive skills were much weaker than his defensive powers, but ready to defend his queen with his dying breath. Watching the man warily, he startled when another figure stumbled out of the brush and cursed his impetuous actions in convincing Tess to go on this sojourn with him.
“Now come now, Your Majesty,” the other man scoffed, turning his head to spit, before turning back to the royal couple with a smirk, circling them like a predator, forcing them away from the tree and licked his lips salaciously as he leered at Tess. “You know the mark on my neck, so why bother with the games. You know I belong to Khivar…the brand the bastard marked me with is quite visible on my neck.”
“If you dislike him so much, why serve him?” Tess spat, glaring at the greasy-haired man and shuddered when his cold, empty eyes flicked back to her as he stalked just out of arms reach in front of them. Holding her breath, she fought desperately to keep her face blank despite the offensive odor that emanated from his clothing.
“Why not?” the man shrugged, legs splayed shoulder width apart as he crossed his hands over his chest, nodding to his companion who moved stand behind them, causing Tess to turn and press her back to Max’s so she could watch him. “Besides, I hate the royalty and aristocracy more. It was your kind’s negligence that lead to my family’s deaths years ago. And Khivar promised me a chance to take out a lord or two. Never thought I’d stumble on such a prize though. Your death will make me a rich man.”
“In your dreams,” Max shot back, his muscles rippling with tension as he assessed their options and trying to keep an eye on both men at once on the off chance one of them made a grab for Tess. Opening his connection, he tried to reach out to Michael or Isabel and cursed when the distance prevented him from fully connecting to either of his siblings. Damn it, this was his fault.
“Oh yes, it’s been a dream of mine for years,” the man snickered, slowly pulling his knife out of its sheath, running it across his hand lightly as he flicked a salacious gaze over Tess, licking his lips as his murky green eyes drifted over her body covetously. Laughing as Tess shuddered and tossed him a disgusted moue, he turned back to Max and smirked. “About as long as I’ve wanted to taste your little queen”
“You’ll have to go through me first,” Max grated, baring his teeth at the other man as rage bubbled hotly in his gut, tracing a searing path through his blood and he pressed closer to his mate, covering her form as much as possible from the man’s derogatory gaze. Flicking his eyes into the distance, he calculated their possibility of escape, but quickly realized that without weapons, they were sitting ducks, powers or not. Eventually they would tire and their enemies would simply have to wait them out.
“Well that was the idea or didn’t you get that?” the man laughed heartily, tipping his head back in amusement before smiling slyly and jeering as a rustle in the bush caught Max’s attention, making him tense further, wondering if they were meeting with friend or enemy. “Do keep up Zan. I mean, as fun as it would be to take her with you watching, I don’t want any unnecessary interruptions because you decided to try and play hero.”
Growling, Max’s head snapped back to his tormentor and flipped around, cradling Tess against his chest protectively, wrapping his body around her and latched his eyes on the leader warily. He desperately wanted to see who was approaching them from the other side, but didn’t trust the other man not to attack once he looked away. Hearing Tess’s gasp as he caught the person approach out of his peripheral, flicking his eyes briefly towards the newcomer, doing a double take he spied one of their own guards.
“Oh, am I glad to see you Eridian,” he sighed, his body sagging slightly in relief as he spotted the elite guardsman, darting his eyes over the area he had emerged to look for the other guard that had been with them at their picnic. Brow furrowing, he grew uneasy when the other guard didn’t show and Eridian stood at the edge of the clearing, watching him with a calculating grin. Fear trickled over his spine, his stomach clenching as he loosed his hold on Tess, trying to ease her behind him. Why wasn’t he doing anything?
“As am I, King Zan, as am I” Eridian greeted silkily, nodding his sable head towards Max, sending a chill chasing over his spine, his stomach sinking as he detected another threat to him and his queen. No one called him Zan in the camp as he’d made it known he preferred the name given to him by his Earth parents. Darting his eyes between the men, he shuddered as they nodded to one another and his eyes narrowed as he realized there was a traitor in their midst. “I have to thank you actually. You’ve made things so much easier.”
“What?” Tess asked, confusion marring her face as she detected the rise in apprehension from Max and quickly assessed the situation, her eyes widening as the guard raised his hand up, crying out as Max tossed her to the side into the dirt just as a white flash of power shot out Eridian’s hand. Gasping, she rolled in the dirt, pain shooting through her body as the blast hit Max square in the chest, waves of pain flashing over her as he sunk to the ground.
Screaming as searing agony ripped over her nerves, she struggled to her knees, her blood chilling as she felt Max’s heart falter, a cold icy void filling her chest and scrambled over to him, enacting a shield as she screamed in rage, tapping into a dark part of her. Fire licked along her nerves as the pain triggered something primal buried deep in her soul, her power escalating to a painful pressure, growing by leaps and bounds and clawing it’s way through her core, erupting in searing waves and igniting the very air around her, flames pulsing in a circle, incinerating everything with in a 10-foot perimeter.
Panting, she screamed again as the power rippled through her, searing across her nerves like acid, pulsing once more before it released her and she collapsed, her body slumping over Max’s back. Gasping, she pulled her body up right, gritting her teeth at the residual ache flaring, burning over raw nerves and looked around stunned at the destruction surrounding her and swallowed harshly, her eyes widening as all vegetation and life laid in nothing but cinders.
Swaying dizzily, she clutched her throat as bile burned the back of it, her body going shocky at the sight and use of powers, snapping out of it only when Max moaned beneath her and she jumped to attention, gasping at the scorch marks on his chest. Rolling him hastily onto back, she ripped the shirt from his chest frantically and clearing her mind, tried to tap into that part of her that allowed her to share his gift to, panic chilling her blood when she hit a block of some sort. Pushing more energy into their connection, she growled in frustration and tears streamed over cheeks as it refused to connect.
“No, no, not again,” she choked, her heart thudding wildly as she tried to break through the barrier and screamed when she realized she’d spent too much energy with her burst of wild power. Damn it. Pulling on everything she had in reserve, she pushed it into what limited healing powers she had of her own, hoping it would heal him enough to keep him alive until help could arrive, scolding him angrily, her throat clogged with helpless, angry tears. “You should have let me take the hit.”
“Never,” he whispered, coughing weakly and stilling her hands on him, feeling the drain that her energy was taking out of her. He hadn’t pushed her aside to have her drain herself. Closing his eyes, he fought the pull of light that was beckoning him away from her and knew in the flash of clarity that comes before death, that he had fulfilled his purpose. Opening them, he met glassy blue eyes and smiled weakly, nodding his acceptance. “I did this... once before and I…would do it again. Dying…dying is a small…price for your life.”
“No, Max, just hold on a little longer, baby,” she choked, refusing to give in so easily, and cupped his face, pressing her forehead to his. Kissing his lips frantically, her blood ran cold as she felt their bond separating and growing thin, the pain of it ripping through her like a sucker punch to the gut, searing through her blood like poison. No, it wasn’t supposed to end this way. Peppering his face with kisses, she reached into him with her flagging powers, grasping at the threads of that connection and tried to bind him to her in one last burst. “They’ll be here soon.”
“T-take c-care of Izzy,” he stammered, gasping as a the cold began to take over and visions flashed before his eyes, things that had been as well as things to come and he touched her cheek lightly, pulling her to his lips in a little burst of strength, kissing her before he released his hold. Staring at her as consciousness began to fade, he pushed against her hold on him and shut her out to keep from dragging her along with him. “Tell Michael, he’ll…be…great… fearless leader…tell… love them.”
“No, stay with me damn it,” she raged, frantically clawing at their connection and blasting at his wall fiercely, slumping when he refused to let her back in, screaming in rage and anguish as she tried, fruitlessly to push her own strength into him.
‘Both…times,’ he whispered mentally, caressing her softly, his own sadness and regret palpable as he took as rattling breath, his consciousness slowly slipping from hers, their connection fading with one last thought. ‘Worth it…for you. Love you.’
“No! Oh God no!” she cried, searing pain and fury ripping through her heart and soul, as the aching cold seeped in, cradling him in her arms and trying to breathe life into him, slumping over his body with a keening cry when all her efforts proved in vain. Burying her face against his lifeless body, her lungs burned with crushing pain, the place where their connection resided a gaping, bloody hole and began a hoarse, furious litany as blackness overtook her, her body drained of energy. “No, no, no, no, no….”
~
Foolish. She had been so foolish. She should have listened to that niggling feeling. Should have paid more attention to those fears that day, should have listened to her initial fears when he asked her to bond once more. Maybe things would have been different if she had chosen a different path, had pushed him back to Liz when the story about his future version came out.Sliding her eyes shut, tears leaked out from beneath her lids, trickling over her cheeks and she flinched as his tomb slid shut with a resounding clang, the sound reverberating dully through her soul it sealed shut for eternity. Opening her eyes slowly, she hazily stared at the last Earthly link she held of her husband and shuddered as the Segart intoned the final blessing, his voice rising in mournful lament to the dead king before bowing down for the final salute.
Pain ripped through her body, rippling over her senses in an overwhelming burst, her legs buckling and she gasped as Michael and Kyle’s arms snaked around her waist, holding her up as they listened to the ritual that would send Max’s soul to rest. Shaking her head vehemently in denial, she yanked from their grasp and wheeled away abruptly waves of panic clawing at her as she hastened down the hall, her ears deaf to the stunned murmurs surrounding her in her desperation to make it out of the temple before she collapsed.
Head held high, she tightened her hold on his robe, all but running out of the room and into the royal chambers, her heart pounding in her ears and her head swam dizzily as her chest grew tight and constricted, her throat closing off as she drew ragged breaths into her lungs. Fear slid over her spine as the her lungs closed off and she couldn’t breathe, her skin flushing as voices murmured in her ear, unknown hands supporting her as spots danced before her eyes, her vision graying as she slid into his waiting arms, a scream of rage and pain echoing through her head as she slid into the dark.
‘Max…’
