A Candy Christmas Carol (Post-Grad, M/M, Teen) Part 8 - 6/23/18
Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 10:02 am
A Candy Christmas Carol
Author(s): KindredKandies
Disclaimer: All characters and plot lines that appeared in the series or in the books are not ours. The concept of Roswell does not belong to us either. They all belong to Melinda Metz, UPN, yada, yada, yada…
Pairings: Predominantly M&M with bits of M&L and K&I
Rating: Rating: Teen
Category: Post-Graduation
Summary: Christmas is viewed in two very different ways by Michael and Maria.
Part One
Maria’s POV
She flinched when the door slammed behind him. Why did he have to be such a jerk?! All of this over a stupid question. She was exhausted, she was tired and achy from being cooped up in the car for nearly twenty hours practically nonstop, she was angry at being uprooted and moved across the country yet again, and she was hurt over having to leave behind a friend without so much as a goodbye. To put it plain and simple, she was weary of it all.
Yes, she wanted to settle down, to stay in one place long enough to see the seasons change. She wanted to have friends she didn’t expect to leave high and dry without a word. She wanted a house with a little yard and maybe a swing on the front porch. She wanted to get married and have kids. And yes, she wanted a damn dog! And she wanted all of that with Michael. For Pete’s sake, was that really asking so much?
Barely twenty-four hours ago he had come bursting through the back door and upended the life she’d carefully constructed over the past year. Things had gone well for the first few months and they had settled into some semblance of routine. Then November had rolled around and she hadn’t been able to miss the signs of restlessness in him. The company he had been working for offered plenty of overtime as the holidays closed in and he hadn’t once turned the extra shifts down.
It was the first year they were going to actually be stationary for Christmas and she’d welcomed the opportunity to make their home feel warm and festive for the holidays. Her job had allowed her plenty of time to run errands, cook, clean and spend time with her friend Stephanie. The two of them had spent hours shopping and gushing over trees and ornaments, potential gifts and decorating ideas.
His schedule kept him at work most of the time and there were days when it seemed like they only saw each other in passing. He’d be on his way in when she was on her way out to work and other than a quick kiss and instructions on heating the dinner she’d left for him, there wasn’t any time for them as a couple. She’d felt that distance beginning to take a toll on her and she’d dug her heels in, determined to make their home last this time.
She’d lost count of the number of fights they’d had recently, but she knew their frequency was increasing. They were fighting more than they ever had in the past. Her fear was that they were fighting for two very different reasons. She was fighting to hold on and that door she kept closed on her deepest fears where he was concerned had managed to come open and she was having a very hard time convincing herself that she was wrong about him. It didn’t matter how hard she held on or how much she wanted to hold onto him because her doubts had taken over and now she feared he wanted out, wanted to be free from being tied down.
Her footsteps slowed as she made another pass by the window. She could hear the car running, knew he was warming up the engine, and she wondered where he was going. The cabin was miles from the nearest town and every time the wind blew there was a high pitched whistling sound that accompanied the frigid air that forced its way through the fine cracks where the logs no longer quite fit together.
This wasn’t the way she’d imagined this Christmas would be. She’d worked so hard to make the house festive and perfect for the holiday. And it had almost been there. She sighed as she pictured the house she’d made into a home for them. The fireplace spreading comfortable warmth throughout the room, the Christmas tree decorated and lit, the twinkling lights cheerfully blinking softly, a CD of Christmas music playing on the second hand stereo in the corner, and a fresh wreath of fir, cedar and juniper with pine cones interspersed in the greenery gracing their front door.
She turned away from the window and her disgusted gaze rested on the moose head hanging over the fireplace. It wasn’t bad enough that someone had hung the carcass on the wall. No, they had festively strung a strand of white twinkling lights through the wide antlers and perched a moth-eaten Santa hat on its head. She shook her head and shifted to look out the window again when she heard the crunch of packed snow under the tires as the car pulled away.
Against her will her thoughts went back to their latest fight and she felt a new wave of despair crash over her, threatening to pull her under and never release her. Maybe this was it. Maybe he’d stuck it out as long as he could and he was ready to move on without her. Maybe he just didn’t know how to tell her he was through. She brushed the tears away angrily as the words thrown back and forth between them replayed in her head.
“Why are we running again? Why now?” She paced furiously, desperately turning over potential reasons and discarding them just as fast, until she came down to one irrefutable conclusion. He’d passed the point where his fear that his alien side might be turned loose, that losing his temper would destroy his control and he’d hurt her, was an issue. Over the years he’d become stronger, more in control of his abilities. He could even drink a beer or two without any issues these days.
It had to be something else and the only thing that she could come up with was her. Being with her was making him feel trapped. What else could it be? Thinking back over the past few months she could see the cracks in their relationship widening to become chasms. She’d seen the little house as a home. She’d lovingly put it together one dishtowel and a pair of curtains at a time. She’d been enjoying the freedom to live, to spread her wings and put down roots at the same time. He’d been working and occasionally stopping off at the pub for a beer while catching a game. He hadn’t really made any friends, had never brought any of the guys home to watch a game or help him work on the car or fix a leak.
She had been thriving and he’d continued to isolate himself. She’d been aware of it, had put it down to his lack of social skills. He wasn’t a wallflower but he wasn’t an extrovert either. She sighed internally as she remembered the one time she could recall him out with a group of guys, openly laughing and goofing off. What she wouldn’t give to see him have that again. She thought about all of the extra shifts he’d taken lately. They were doing okay financially, there was no pressing need for the money, but he’d jumped on every opportunity to work extra hours, hours that had kept him away from home… away from her.
The only thing that made sense was that while she had embraced stability and permanence, craved a semi-normal life with him, those same desires were pushing him away. That’s what it was, she realized, and felt her throat close up. He was running from settling down with her. It wasn’t what he wanted. It had been years since there had been any sign that they were still being pursued but he continued to keep them on the move.
“Why is it that Max and Liz and Kyle and Isabel were able to put down roots and carve out a life for themselves and we can’t? For the past four years Max and Liz have been stable, they’ve had a home in Moose Jaw, they’ve had an opportunity to pursue their education, and even had a child. It’s been more than five years for Kyle and Isabel. They have two kids now, Michael! Two! None of them have had to pick up and run in the middle of the night, leave everything behind. Why is that?”
The only response she got was silence accompanied by his patented stonewall expression. There was no reasoning with him when he was like this and she knew it but she couldn’t let it rest. Not this time.
“You know why,” he bit out finally. “We left because of a threat.”
Her hands clenched into fists and she could feel the heat flood her face as her frustration finally spilled over. Sometimes she wondered why she bothered trying to get anything through his thick skull. “You’re not listening to me, Michael.”
“Well, maybe if you quit ranting about the same subject over and over again you’d have somethin’ to say that I’d wanna listen to.”
She wished she could hate him sometimes because it would be easier than this. “Why couldn’t we have stayed in Winnipeg? Close enough to Kyle and Isabel, closer to Max and Liz if anything happened… close enough just to visit once in a while. It would make sense. It did make sense when it was first discussed and you discounted it out of hand. Why are you uprooting us again?”
She watched him, desperately hoping, needing him to say something that would make sense. She needed something to hold onto, something besides the same old story. And again she was met with silence and the impenetrable wall he surrounded himself with. “I want a dog, Michael. I need to have a dog.” She shifted and crossed her arms in front of her. “A big black dog named Angus.”
“We’re not getting a dog, Maria. What the hell are you thinkin’? We can’t be on the run with a damn dog! Yeah, let’s get somethin’ that makes us easier to identify! Let’s get somethin’ that requires money to maintain!” He started to pace, throwing his hands up in the air. “You know we can’t stay in one place long enough for somethin’ like that to ever be viable!”
She nodded sadly. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Michael turned slowly, narrowing his eyes as he stared at her.
“It hurts too much, Michael. My heart can’t take it.” And she honestly didn’t think it could take much more. “Why is it okay for everyone else to settle down, have a home and a family, and the two of us continue to run? Why can’t you even give in on this one little request and let us have a dog?”
She watched the taillights disappear into the darkness, the pain in her heart growing to encompass every inch of her being. Tears she couldn’t stop formed in her eyes and spilled over in spite of her wishes.
He’d never left before.
He’d never just walked out.
Michael’s POV
The door slammed behind him, the force aided by the high winds and not intent alone. He needed to get away because the walls were closing in and he felt like he was suffocating. She had pushed them into yet another argument. It felt like anymore that was all they did. Argue, fight, disagree, tentative truce, rinse and repeat.
Nine years. They had been on the run for nine years and all of the sudden she wanted a dog? How did she expect them to drag a dog around while moving from place to place? Having an animal would mean an additional responsibility; it would mean having something that would make them more easily identifiable.
A hard shiver raced through his body as the wind whipped around the corner of the cabin, cutting through him like a thousand tiny knives. He jerked his coat tighter around his body, grateful he’d at least remembered to grab it before storming out. Times like these he wondered why they stayed together.
How could she not understand?
He swore out loud when the heel of his boot landed on an icy patch on the walkway – the same walkway Maria had been hounding him about salting from the minute he walked in the door. His feet went out from under him so quickly that he didn’t even have time to control or cushion his fall. He flipped himself over, his temper shifting into overdrive when he felt the pain pulsing from every point of contact. That number increased significantly when he miscalculated as he tried to get to his feet without checking for solid footing and his foot slipped and he slammed his knee against the pavement.
That smarted. Snarling under his breath he shuffled over enough so he could dig his feet into the snow. Finally on his feet again he stomped down to the car, careful to keep off of the icy walkway. His dark mood only worsened as he dug through the trunk, pulling out the necessary items and shoving them into the backseat.
He started to climb inside but his attempt was immediately thwarted because there was no room for his large frame. He swore once again and reached down to jerk on the lever and shoved the seat as far back as he could get it. He threw himself into the seat and slammed the door, shutting off the wind tunnel. He forced the key in the ignition and gave it a vicious turn, holding it in place until the engine finally turned over and rumbled to life. It was a decent vehicle but in moments like these it was nothing more than a piece of crap. He shifted and shoved his hands under his thighs, hoping to keep them from freezing until the engine was warm enough to turn the heater on.
His teeth were on the verge of literally chattering by the time he slapped the control for the heater and adjusted the temperature. He threw the gearshift into drive and pulled out, smart enough not to gun the engine in spite of the desire to throw caution to the wind and do just that. He ignored the movement he caught from the corner of his eye, knowing without looking he wouldn’t see Maria standing at the window. The only evidence she had been there would be the slight sway of the curtain she had just dropped.
“A dog,” he muttered with an aggravated snort. “What the hell does she think we’d do with a dog?”
Technology was changing rapidly, too fast to keep up with, and maybe some people saw those changes as a good thing. Maybe people were blind to the reality that they were giving up any semblance of privacy as technology became so advanced. He’d watched it change over the years, warily observing its evolution, concerned as the advancements made it easier for the government to keep tabs on people.
The threat was real. If everyday people had the capability of getting their hands on such things then the Special Unit was already way ahead of them. He knew being on the run was no life for her but it wasn’t safe for them to stay anywhere for long. He’d pushed it this last time, letting their stay drag out for nearly a year.
He’d found a dependable job that brought in a decent paycheck, she’d had a good gig singing at a local pub, they’d had a house that while small, was nice, and for the first time in a long time she’d had a friend she could spend time with. She’d had the house decorated for Christmas and all the festive crap that had made her so happy had made him feel like he was choking. He’d been happy to accept extra shifts when they came available. And he’d felt a sick sense of relief when he’d spotted a couple of suspicious black SUVs in town because that meant it was time to move again.
He wasn’t indifferent to her needs, but her safety was more important than anything else. He’d had a fight on his hands when he said they had to drop everything and leave. They’d left behind jobs, a home and her friend without so much as a word. He’d pushed hard to get them far enough away that he felt it was safe to stop. Nearly 800 miles between them and the place they’d called home and it felt like every one of those miles stood between him and Maria.
He knew she’d been happier in the past year than she had been in a very long time. The constant running had taken its toll on her, stolen years he could never give back to her, and he couldn’t see an end in sight. He pulled into a lookout that looked down on the cabin, killed the lights and cut the engine. He sighed raggedly and shifted around to grab the sleeping back he’d tossed in before leaving.
It was fitting that he should spend the night cold and uncomfortable. Hell, he’d just uprooted her from the only real home she’d had in years, driven her across the country and multiple states without stopping for more than fuel, and then dropped her in a cold, drafty dump of a hunting cabin. There wasn’t an ounce of Christmas cheer in the cabin, which was fine with him, but he knew it only made things more depressing for her.
It didn’t help that Max and Liz had been settled for almost four years and even longer for Kyle and Isabel. They had carved out lives for themselves, real lives with homes, education, good jobs and kids. He knew Maria wanted a home, stability, a sense of permanence, kids… and a dog. He didn’t seem to be able to give her any of that. Hell, he couldn’t even find it in himself to give in and let her have a stupid dog. Maybe he was incapable of settling down. Maybe he should find a way to get her to Max and Liz, give her the opportunity to make a life for herself there.
Canada had proven to be a safe and comfortable place for the others to settle. Moose Jaw wouldn’t be Maria’s first choice, but because Liz was there he knew she could be happy there. Kyle and Isabel had landed in Calgary, a much larger city that they could easily lose themselves in. Seven hours apart, give or take, depending on weather and traffic. They were close enough to see each other on occasion but far enough apart for safety’s sake.
There had been talks about them settling in Winnipeg, which would put Max and Liz central to the rest of them, but he’d balked at the idea. He hadn’t agreed with the others’ decisions to stop running, to settle and put down roots, but his arguments had fallen on deaf ears. Maria had tried to talk him into changing his mind and they had gotten into many fights over it, but he’d refused to be swayed in his belief that their safety depended on their ability to flee at a moments’ notice.
The longer they stayed in one place the harder it would be to leave. He had lost count of the number of times they’d had to pick up and move, but he had a vivid memory of the entire repertoire of disappointed, hurt and angry responses Maria had given at the news that they were leaving whatever place they’d been calling home at the time.
He knew this last one had been the hardest since the six of them had split up. A year had given her time to begin planting roots. A job she loved for once, something better than just waiting tables and putting up with crap from customers, a little house that she’d turned into a home, complete with a small flower garden and new paint in every room, and a friend that she had become very close to.
He stared at the cabin as he pulled the sleeping bag tighter around himself in an effort to stop the cold from seeping into his bones. The light was on in the main room but there was no movement to suggest she was pacing the floor, working out her anger and hurt through constant motion. He wondered if she’d simply gone to bed, too weary of the constant fight to bother waiting for him to come back.
He stared at the roof of the car, not even seeing the torn lining or the spots where soda had splashed all over it when he’d pissed her off and she’d handed him the can after shaking the hell out of it while he wasn’t looking. The damn thing had exploded all over the car and stained the interior. They had laughed about it later and cleaned the mess up but left the stains as a reminder. He shook his head and closed his eyes, hoping to rest them and make sense of what the hell had gotten into Maria to make her think getting a dog would be a good idea.
“I guess that’s better than puttin’ your hand through a window.”
Michael jerked upright so fast he smacked his forehead on the visor he’d dropped to block the moon that was doing its best to blind him. His back hit the door as he turned to look at the guy sitting in the passengers’ seat and he reached up to rub his eyes, certain he was seeing things. Okay, maybe eating that package of cookies on top of a beer was a mistake. He blinked and frowned when the apparition remained sitting there, doing his best to balance a pen on his chin in the upright position.
“I thought we’d agreed that no chick was worth this.”
His eyes traveled over the other guy in disbelief. “What the hell…?” It wasn’t possible. He’d been dead for ten years.
“Yeah, and you’d think I’d have this trick mastered by now,” he muttered when the pen toppled over and he fumbled to catch it.
Michael stared at one of the few people he’d actually considered a friend over the course of his lifetime. This wasn’t real, he reminded himself. He’d held the guy’s lifeless body in his arms after he’d been fatally shot.
Monk straightened the bill of his standard issue security job baseball hat and adjusted his glasses before he turned his head to look at Michael. “Then again, you’d think you’d have gotten better at Madden by now and well, that hasn’t worked out so great for you. Anyway, I’m not here to dis your game, Mike.”
“Uh-huh…” He pinched himself and frowned at the stinging sensation. He couldn’t be asleep so what the hell was going on?
“I can answer that.” He ran his hands over his tie in a gesture that was painfully familiar. “I’m here to tell you that you’ll be getting three visitors beginning – “
Michael snorted and shook his head. “Right. Okay, I saw this movie and it sucked. I can assure you I’m not gonna be hangin’ out with three ghosts at the strike of one, two and three.”
“No, you’re right about that.”
“At least we’re agreed on that point.” He crossed his arms over his chest and shifted around to get comfortable again. This was ridiculous. Obviously the combination of beer and too many cookies had him hallucinating.
“Your first visitor will arrive at one forty-seven and the others will arrive an hour apart after that, an hour to the minute. You’re on the edge of something you don’t even understand right now and they’ll be able to help you find clarity.”
“Okay, sure they will. I’ll be on the lookout for a ghostly apparition haulin’ around a bunch of chains. In the meantime I’m gonna get some sleep.” He pulled the sleeping bag up over his shoulders and closed his eyes.
“It wasn’t your fault, you know?”
“Plenty of things are my fault. Which one are you referring to?”
“The night I got shot. We were both doin’ our job.” He shrugged even though his companion wasn’t looking at him. “There was nothin’ you could’ve done. I just wanted you to know that.”
“Yeah, well…” he peered over the edge of the sleeping bag and froze when the passengers’ seat was empty with no sign that it had been recently occupied. He cursed under his breath and pulled the sleeping bag closer. It was cold up here in the frozen wasteland he’d brought them to and now his eyes and ears were playing tricks on him. That was all he needed. He sat up to take one more look at the cabin below before settling down again.
Maybe if he could get to sleep the night would pass without his head screwing with him again. He closed his eyes and pulled in tighter on himself, his thoughts focusing on Maria and hoping to figure out why she wanted a damn dog of all things this year.
Author(s): KindredKandies
Disclaimer: All characters and plot lines that appeared in the series or in the books are not ours. The concept of Roswell does not belong to us either. They all belong to Melinda Metz, UPN, yada, yada, yada…
Pairings: Predominantly M&M with bits of M&L and K&I
Rating: Rating: Teen
Category: Post-Graduation
Summary: Christmas is viewed in two very different ways by Michael and Maria.
Part One
Maria’s POV
She flinched when the door slammed behind him. Why did he have to be such a jerk?! All of this over a stupid question. She was exhausted, she was tired and achy from being cooped up in the car for nearly twenty hours practically nonstop, she was angry at being uprooted and moved across the country yet again, and she was hurt over having to leave behind a friend without so much as a goodbye. To put it plain and simple, she was weary of it all.
Yes, she wanted to settle down, to stay in one place long enough to see the seasons change. She wanted to have friends she didn’t expect to leave high and dry without a word. She wanted a house with a little yard and maybe a swing on the front porch. She wanted to get married and have kids. And yes, she wanted a damn dog! And she wanted all of that with Michael. For Pete’s sake, was that really asking so much?
Barely twenty-four hours ago he had come bursting through the back door and upended the life she’d carefully constructed over the past year. Things had gone well for the first few months and they had settled into some semblance of routine. Then November had rolled around and she hadn’t been able to miss the signs of restlessness in him. The company he had been working for offered plenty of overtime as the holidays closed in and he hadn’t once turned the extra shifts down.
It was the first year they were going to actually be stationary for Christmas and she’d welcomed the opportunity to make their home feel warm and festive for the holidays. Her job had allowed her plenty of time to run errands, cook, clean and spend time with her friend Stephanie. The two of them had spent hours shopping and gushing over trees and ornaments, potential gifts and decorating ideas.
His schedule kept him at work most of the time and there were days when it seemed like they only saw each other in passing. He’d be on his way in when she was on her way out to work and other than a quick kiss and instructions on heating the dinner she’d left for him, there wasn’t any time for them as a couple. She’d felt that distance beginning to take a toll on her and she’d dug her heels in, determined to make their home last this time.
She’d lost count of the number of fights they’d had recently, but she knew their frequency was increasing. They were fighting more than they ever had in the past. Her fear was that they were fighting for two very different reasons. She was fighting to hold on and that door she kept closed on her deepest fears where he was concerned had managed to come open and she was having a very hard time convincing herself that she was wrong about him. It didn’t matter how hard she held on or how much she wanted to hold onto him because her doubts had taken over and now she feared he wanted out, wanted to be free from being tied down.
Her footsteps slowed as she made another pass by the window. She could hear the car running, knew he was warming up the engine, and she wondered where he was going. The cabin was miles from the nearest town and every time the wind blew there was a high pitched whistling sound that accompanied the frigid air that forced its way through the fine cracks where the logs no longer quite fit together.
This wasn’t the way she’d imagined this Christmas would be. She’d worked so hard to make the house festive and perfect for the holiday. And it had almost been there. She sighed as she pictured the house she’d made into a home for them. The fireplace spreading comfortable warmth throughout the room, the Christmas tree decorated and lit, the twinkling lights cheerfully blinking softly, a CD of Christmas music playing on the second hand stereo in the corner, and a fresh wreath of fir, cedar and juniper with pine cones interspersed in the greenery gracing their front door.
She turned away from the window and her disgusted gaze rested on the moose head hanging over the fireplace. It wasn’t bad enough that someone had hung the carcass on the wall. No, they had festively strung a strand of white twinkling lights through the wide antlers and perched a moth-eaten Santa hat on its head. She shook her head and shifted to look out the window again when she heard the crunch of packed snow under the tires as the car pulled away.
Against her will her thoughts went back to their latest fight and she felt a new wave of despair crash over her, threatening to pull her under and never release her. Maybe this was it. Maybe he’d stuck it out as long as he could and he was ready to move on without her. Maybe he just didn’t know how to tell her he was through. She brushed the tears away angrily as the words thrown back and forth between them replayed in her head.
“Why are we running again? Why now?” She paced furiously, desperately turning over potential reasons and discarding them just as fast, until she came down to one irrefutable conclusion. He’d passed the point where his fear that his alien side might be turned loose, that losing his temper would destroy his control and he’d hurt her, was an issue. Over the years he’d become stronger, more in control of his abilities. He could even drink a beer or two without any issues these days.
It had to be something else and the only thing that she could come up with was her. Being with her was making him feel trapped. What else could it be? Thinking back over the past few months she could see the cracks in their relationship widening to become chasms. She’d seen the little house as a home. She’d lovingly put it together one dishtowel and a pair of curtains at a time. She’d been enjoying the freedom to live, to spread her wings and put down roots at the same time. He’d been working and occasionally stopping off at the pub for a beer while catching a game. He hadn’t really made any friends, had never brought any of the guys home to watch a game or help him work on the car or fix a leak.
She had been thriving and he’d continued to isolate himself. She’d been aware of it, had put it down to his lack of social skills. He wasn’t a wallflower but he wasn’t an extrovert either. She sighed internally as she remembered the one time she could recall him out with a group of guys, openly laughing and goofing off. What she wouldn’t give to see him have that again. She thought about all of the extra shifts he’d taken lately. They were doing okay financially, there was no pressing need for the money, but he’d jumped on every opportunity to work extra hours, hours that had kept him away from home… away from her.
The only thing that made sense was that while she had embraced stability and permanence, craved a semi-normal life with him, those same desires were pushing him away. That’s what it was, she realized, and felt her throat close up. He was running from settling down with her. It wasn’t what he wanted. It had been years since there had been any sign that they were still being pursued but he continued to keep them on the move.
“Why is it that Max and Liz and Kyle and Isabel were able to put down roots and carve out a life for themselves and we can’t? For the past four years Max and Liz have been stable, they’ve had a home in Moose Jaw, they’ve had an opportunity to pursue their education, and even had a child. It’s been more than five years for Kyle and Isabel. They have two kids now, Michael! Two! None of them have had to pick up and run in the middle of the night, leave everything behind. Why is that?”
The only response she got was silence accompanied by his patented stonewall expression. There was no reasoning with him when he was like this and she knew it but she couldn’t let it rest. Not this time.
“You know why,” he bit out finally. “We left because of a threat.”
Her hands clenched into fists and she could feel the heat flood her face as her frustration finally spilled over. Sometimes she wondered why she bothered trying to get anything through his thick skull. “You’re not listening to me, Michael.”
“Well, maybe if you quit ranting about the same subject over and over again you’d have somethin’ to say that I’d wanna listen to.”
She wished she could hate him sometimes because it would be easier than this. “Why couldn’t we have stayed in Winnipeg? Close enough to Kyle and Isabel, closer to Max and Liz if anything happened… close enough just to visit once in a while. It would make sense. It did make sense when it was first discussed and you discounted it out of hand. Why are you uprooting us again?”
She watched him, desperately hoping, needing him to say something that would make sense. She needed something to hold onto, something besides the same old story. And again she was met with silence and the impenetrable wall he surrounded himself with. “I want a dog, Michael. I need to have a dog.” She shifted and crossed her arms in front of her. “A big black dog named Angus.”
“We’re not getting a dog, Maria. What the hell are you thinkin’? We can’t be on the run with a damn dog! Yeah, let’s get somethin’ that makes us easier to identify! Let’s get somethin’ that requires money to maintain!” He started to pace, throwing his hands up in the air. “You know we can’t stay in one place long enough for somethin’ like that to ever be viable!”
She nodded sadly. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Michael turned slowly, narrowing his eyes as he stared at her.
“It hurts too much, Michael. My heart can’t take it.” And she honestly didn’t think it could take much more. “Why is it okay for everyone else to settle down, have a home and a family, and the two of us continue to run? Why can’t you even give in on this one little request and let us have a dog?”
She watched the taillights disappear into the darkness, the pain in her heart growing to encompass every inch of her being. Tears she couldn’t stop formed in her eyes and spilled over in spite of her wishes.
He’d never left before.
He’d never just walked out.
Michael’s POV
The door slammed behind him, the force aided by the high winds and not intent alone. He needed to get away because the walls were closing in and he felt like he was suffocating. She had pushed them into yet another argument. It felt like anymore that was all they did. Argue, fight, disagree, tentative truce, rinse and repeat.
Nine years. They had been on the run for nine years and all of the sudden she wanted a dog? How did she expect them to drag a dog around while moving from place to place? Having an animal would mean an additional responsibility; it would mean having something that would make them more easily identifiable.
A hard shiver raced through his body as the wind whipped around the corner of the cabin, cutting through him like a thousand tiny knives. He jerked his coat tighter around his body, grateful he’d at least remembered to grab it before storming out. Times like these he wondered why they stayed together.
How could she not understand?
He swore out loud when the heel of his boot landed on an icy patch on the walkway – the same walkway Maria had been hounding him about salting from the minute he walked in the door. His feet went out from under him so quickly that he didn’t even have time to control or cushion his fall. He flipped himself over, his temper shifting into overdrive when he felt the pain pulsing from every point of contact. That number increased significantly when he miscalculated as he tried to get to his feet without checking for solid footing and his foot slipped and he slammed his knee against the pavement.
That smarted. Snarling under his breath he shuffled over enough so he could dig his feet into the snow. Finally on his feet again he stomped down to the car, careful to keep off of the icy walkway. His dark mood only worsened as he dug through the trunk, pulling out the necessary items and shoving them into the backseat.
He started to climb inside but his attempt was immediately thwarted because there was no room for his large frame. He swore once again and reached down to jerk on the lever and shoved the seat as far back as he could get it. He threw himself into the seat and slammed the door, shutting off the wind tunnel. He forced the key in the ignition and gave it a vicious turn, holding it in place until the engine finally turned over and rumbled to life. It was a decent vehicle but in moments like these it was nothing more than a piece of crap. He shifted and shoved his hands under his thighs, hoping to keep them from freezing until the engine was warm enough to turn the heater on.
His teeth were on the verge of literally chattering by the time he slapped the control for the heater and adjusted the temperature. He threw the gearshift into drive and pulled out, smart enough not to gun the engine in spite of the desire to throw caution to the wind and do just that. He ignored the movement he caught from the corner of his eye, knowing without looking he wouldn’t see Maria standing at the window. The only evidence she had been there would be the slight sway of the curtain she had just dropped.
“A dog,” he muttered with an aggravated snort. “What the hell does she think we’d do with a dog?”
Technology was changing rapidly, too fast to keep up with, and maybe some people saw those changes as a good thing. Maybe people were blind to the reality that they were giving up any semblance of privacy as technology became so advanced. He’d watched it change over the years, warily observing its evolution, concerned as the advancements made it easier for the government to keep tabs on people.
The threat was real. If everyday people had the capability of getting their hands on such things then the Special Unit was already way ahead of them. He knew being on the run was no life for her but it wasn’t safe for them to stay anywhere for long. He’d pushed it this last time, letting their stay drag out for nearly a year.
He’d found a dependable job that brought in a decent paycheck, she’d had a good gig singing at a local pub, they’d had a house that while small, was nice, and for the first time in a long time she’d had a friend she could spend time with. She’d had the house decorated for Christmas and all the festive crap that had made her so happy had made him feel like he was choking. He’d been happy to accept extra shifts when they came available. And he’d felt a sick sense of relief when he’d spotted a couple of suspicious black SUVs in town because that meant it was time to move again.
He wasn’t indifferent to her needs, but her safety was more important than anything else. He’d had a fight on his hands when he said they had to drop everything and leave. They’d left behind jobs, a home and her friend without so much as a word. He’d pushed hard to get them far enough away that he felt it was safe to stop. Nearly 800 miles between them and the place they’d called home and it felt like every one of those miles stood between him and Maria.
He knew she’d been happier in the past year than she had been in a very long time. The constant running had taken its toll on her, stolen years he could never give back to her, and he couldn’t see an end in sight. He pulled into a lookout that looked down on the cabin, killed the lights and cut the engine. He sighed raggedly and shifted around to grab the sleeping back he’d tossed in before leaving.
It was fitting that he should spend the night cold and uncomfortable. Hell, he’d just uprooted her from the only real home she’d had in years, driven her across the country and multiple states without stopping for more than fuel, and then dropped her in a cold, drafty dump of a hunting cabin. There wasn’t an ounce of Christmas cheer in the cabin, which was fine with him, but he knew it only made things more depressing for her.
It didn’t help that Max and Liz had been settled for almost four years and even longer for Kyle and Isabel. They had carved out lives for themselves, real lives with homes, education, good jobs and kids. He knew Maria wanted a home, stability, a sense of permanence, kids… and a dog. He didn’t seem to be able to give her any of that. Hell, he couldn’t even find it in himself to give in and let her have a stupid dog. Maybe he was incapable of settling down. Maybe he should find a way to get her to Max and Liz, give her the opportunity to make a life for herself there.
Canada had proven to be a safe and comfortable place for the others to settle. Moose Jaw wouldn’t be Maria’s first choice, but because Liz was there he knew she could be happy there. Kyle and Isabel had landed in Calgary, a much larger city that they could easily lose themselves in. Seven hours apart, give or take, depending on weather and traffic. They were close enough to see each other on occasion but far enough apart for safety’s sake.
There had been talks about them settling in Winnipeg, which would put Max and Liz central to the rest of them, but he’d balked at the idea. He hadn’t agreed with the others’ decisions to stop running, to settle and put down roots, but his arguments had fallen on deaf ears. Maria had tried to talk him into changing his mind and they had gotten into many fights over it, but he’d refused to be swayed in his belief that their safety depended on their ability to flee at a moments’ notice.
The longer they stayed in one place the harder it would be to leave. He had lost count of the number of times they’d had to pick up and move, but he had a vivid memory of the entire repertoire of disappointed, hurt and angry responses Maria had given at the news that they were leaving whatever place they’d been calling home at the time.
He knew this last one had been the hardest since the six of them had split up. A year had given her time to begin planting roots. A job she loved for once, something better than just waiting tables and putting up with crap from customers, a little house that she’d turned into a home, complete with a small flower garden and new paint in every room, and a friend that she had become very close to.
He stared at the cabin as he pulled the sleeping bag tighter around himself in an effort to stop the cold from seeping into his bones. The light was on in the main room but there was no movement to suggest she was pacing the floor, working out her anger and hurt through constant motion. He wondered if she’d simply gone to bed, too weary of the constant fight to bother waiting for him to come back.
He stared at the roof of the car, not even seeing the torn lining or the spots where soda had splashed all over it when he’d pissed her off and she’d handed him the can after shaking the hell out of it while he wasn’t looking. The damn thing had exploded all over the car and stained the interior. They had laughed about it later and cleaned the mess up but left the stains as a reminder. He shook his head and closed his eyes, hoping to rest them and make sense of what the hell had gotten into Maria to make her think getting a dog would be a good idea.
“I guess that’s better than puttin’ your hand through a window.”
Michael jerked upright so fast he smacked his forehead on the visor he’d dropped to block the moon that was doing its best to blind him. His back hit the door as he turned to look at the guy sitting in the passengers’ seat and he reached up to rub his eyes, certain he was seeing things. Okay, maybe eating that package of cookies on top of a beer was a mistake. He blinked and frowned when the apparition remained sitting there, doing his best to balance a pen on his chin in the upright position.
“I thought we’d agreed that no chick was worth this.”
His eyes traveled over the other guy in disbelief. “What the hell…?” It wasn’t possible. He’d been dead for ten years.
“Yeah, and you’d think I’d have this trick mastered by now,” he muttered when the pen toppled over and he fumbled to catch it.
Michael stared at one of the few people he’d actually considered a friend over the course of his lifetime. This wasn’t real, he reminded himself. He’d held the guy’s lifeless body in his arms after he’d been fatally shot.
Monk straightened the bill of his standard issue security job baseball hat and adjusted his glasses before he turned his head to look at Michael. “Then again, you’d think you’d have gotten better at Madden by now and well, that hasn’t worked out so great for you. Anyway, I’m not here to dis your game, Mike.”
“Uh-huh…” He pinched himself and frowned at the stinging sensation. He couldn’t be asleep so what the hell was going on?
“I can answer that.” He ran his hands over his tie in a gesture that was painfully familiar. “I’m here to tell you that you’ll be getting three visitors beginning – “
Michael snorted and shook his head. “Right. Okay, I saw this movie and it sucked. I can assure you I’m not gonna be hangin’ out with three ghosts at the strike of one, two and three.”
“No, you’re right about that.”
“At least we’re agreed on that point.” He crossed his arms over his chest and shifted around to get comfortable again. This was ridiculous. Obviously the combination of beer and too many cookies had him hallucinating.
“Your first visitor will arrive at one forty-seven and the others will arrive an hour apart after that, an hour to the minute. You’re on the edge of something you don’t even understand right now and they’ll be able to help you find clarity.”
“Okay, sure they will. I’ll be on the lookout for a ghostly apparition haulin’ around a bunch of chains. In the meantime I’m gonna get some sleep.” He pulled the sleeping bag up over his shoulders and closed his eyes.
“It wasn’t your fault, you know?”
“Plenty of things are my fault. Which one are you referring to?”
“The night I got shot. We were both doin’ our job.” He shrugged even though his companion wasn’t looking at him. “There was nothin’ you could’ve done. I just wanted you to know that.”
“Yeah, well…” he peered over the edge of the sleeping bag and froze when the passengers’ seat was empty with no sign that it had been recently occupied. He cursed under his breath and pulled the sleeping bag closer. It was cold up here in the frozen wasteland he’d brought them to and now his eyes and ears were playing tricks on him. That was all he needed. He sat up to take one more look at the cabin below before settling down again.
Maybe if he could get to sleep the night would pass without his head screwing with him again. He closed his eyes and pulled in tighter on himself, his thoughts focusing on Maria and hoping to figure out why she wanted a damn dog of all things this year.