Carolyn
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SmilleeUK
thank you so much for all that amazing fb!
Just a little fun fact, Helen and Matthew are my grandparents in real life, they are up in heaven but obviously very much still here with me in my heart.
Also my amazing, sweet daughter turned twelve yesterday
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEANUT, I LOVE YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEANUT, I LOVE YOU!
~ Run ~ by Snow Patrol
I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done
And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want's to find an easy way
To get out of our little heads
Have heart, my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Chapter 11.
An expression of confusion mixed with sadness covered Max's face as he sat down in the chair that Matthew quietly pushed beside the bed.
Helen looked pale and very tried, she was a far cry from the vibrant colorful woman Max was used to.
A lopsided tiny smiled appeared across her thin lips as she removed the oxygen mask from her mouth.
With just a loving look towards Mathew he immediately responded somehow knowing exactly what she needed.
Pushing the bed controls he lifted her head so she could see Max comfortably.
Her golden eyes still sparkled with emotion and kindness as she reached out for Max's hand.
Her voice was a raspy whisper at best sometimes slurring as she began her tale.
“Max, I am your grandmother.”
His eyes widened with shock then disbelief as he glanced back towards Liz almost looking for help.
“But Helen that's impossible...my father ….he would've told me.”
Taking a minute to catch her breath Helen stared back at Matthew who responded with a slight nod encouraging her to continue.
“Oh honey, remember I told you that things weren't always as they seemed?”
Another heartbreak glance back up to Matthew revealed that she was just too weak to continue.
Clearing his throat Matthew brushed her red hair from her tired eyes.
“It's alright darling, you've done enough, I'll take it from here.”
Tears flooded her eyes as she looked back at Max.
It was more than obvious that they had a love story of their own.
“Max your mother didn't want to leave you, she loved you. She loved you with all her heart.”
Clearly upset Max shook his head and stared at the ground.
“No disrespect to you both but my mother left me when I was two years old. She never loved me.”
A firm grasp on Max's shoulder caught his attention as Matthew deepened his voice.
“Son, that couldn't be further from the truth. Your mother had cancer, she was very ill. She knew your father was abusive and she couldn't bare the thought of him raising you alone without her there to protect you. So at the end she went to a lawyer and explained her situation. She wanted Helen to raise you...but ...”
Max rested his head in his hands as the truth washed over him.
Liz emerged from the corner and stood behind him wrapping her arm around his chest protectively.
“I'm so sorry Max.”
Resting his hand over hers Max gazed down at Helen.
Taking a deep breath she slowly continued where Matthew left off.
“Oh my dear Max...it is true. My daughter loved you with all her heart. She went through the proper channels, but your father heard about what she was trying to do. His best friend was a policeman. He told the judge that your mom was extremely ill and delusional. We had no money for a lawyer and no way to prove our case...so...”
Max wiped away a stray tear and looked to the corner of the room.
“So he told me that she just took off and left me...that she never cared about me at all.”
Anguish materialized in her amber eyes as she gripped his hand.
“Sweetie, it made him furious that she wanted me to raise you. He came to me and threatened to take you away forever if I said anything.”
After a long thoughtful pause Helen pulled him closer.
“I had already lost my daughter, I couldn't handle losing you too. Seeing you grow up, watching you from a far ...at least then I knew that you were alright.”
Liz knelt down and rested her head against his shoulder feeling his pain as if it were her own.
“So, my mom...she's ...gone? Where is she...I mean is she buried in town.”
Matthew spoke up again rescuing Helen once again.
“She was laid to rest in a cemetery about an hour from here, out in Cornwall. Your father was very hush hush about it. Not that many people knew exactly what happened, and those that did I guess decided a long time ago that it wasn't their business to get involved.”
Tucking her hair behind her ear Liz looked up at Matthew with curiosity.
“Forgive me for asking Matthew but how do you fit into all this?”
His grey steel eyes softened slightly as he brushed his lips against Helen's forehead.
“Well you see Helen is my girl, always has been since we we're kids. We were the same age you two were when you first met. It was love at first sight...right darling?”
Helen nodded slowly with great passion in her eyes.
“We were madly in love, then one day my father came home and said that we were moving clear across the country. Being all of seventeen I marched down to Helen's father and asked to have her hand in marriage.”
Puzzled Liz looked back at Helen completely enthralled in their story.
“I don't understand, you two aren't married ...are you?”
Sighing lovingly towards Helen Matthew shook his head.
“ Helen was their only child, daddy's little girl, I guess he thought he was doing the right thing us being so young and all. You see he told me that Helen was in love with another boy in town, a good friend of hers. I was so heartbroken I couldn't even face her, that night I left with my parents. It was close to fifty years till I would see that beautiful face again.”
Suddenly Liz stood straight and stared at Helen.
“You knew ...didn't you? You knew about what happened with Max's father. That's why you were always around asking me questions, trying to help Max. You didn't want Max making the same mistake Matthew did so long ago.”
A small smile once again pursed her lips as she stroked Max's fingers.
“That's a very smart girl you have there.”
Max struggled against a tide of emotions, his husky voice deep with sadness.
“How did you know?”
Helen paused, her eyes glinted to a picture on the wall over Liz's shoulder as if she was revisiting a period of time she would rather forget.
“The night it happened he showed up at the motel drunk out of his mind. He confessed everything, he even cried a little, but the anger came back when I told him I had to tell you. He threatened me again, told me I’d never see you again but I knew this time I had no choice.”
Hearing her voice beginning to fade Mathew lowered the head of the bed and fixed her pillow.
“She tried Max, but you had already left.”
Helen's voice became almost breathless as she covered her eyes with her shaky hand.
“That was right after Harry and the ...children...”
Matthew hushed her lovingly and whispered in her ear.
“That's enough my sweetheart....I'll tell him the rest. Just rest now.”
Taking a seat beside Max, Matthew rested his trembling hand against his cheek.
“You remember the accident Max. You remember how Harry and her two boys passed tragically in that car accident. After your grandmother was broken, she didn't have the strength to go off and look for you, but she never stopped loving you, never stopped caring.”
Tears spilled over her drawn face as she squeezed Max's hand reaffirming what Matthew had just said.
Again Liz spoke as she held tightly onto Max.
“Wait I'm confused, those boys were so young, and Helen was only married once.” A quiet gasp left Liz's lips as everything became clear. “Your Max's grandfather ...aren't you Mathew?”
Max's eyes flashed to the elderly man who was looking fondly into his grandmother's eyes.”
“I didn't know it at the time but Helen was pregnant when I left. I missed out on raising our daughter together and a lifetime of memories with the woman I loved because I was too insecure, I couldn't believe that someone as beautiful and kind as your grandmother loved me. I was a foolish boy with foolish thoughts and everyone paid for my mistakes in the end.”
Helen shook her head slightly pleading with her fading eyes, forgiveness overflowing in her heart.
Liz brushed away tears as she pushed for more.
“How did you find her again?”
“I was retired, never married, I guess I just needed to go home one more time. I just wanted to see her, make sure she had a happy life. It was like not a day had passed, she was just as beautiful, so full of life , my girl. It was then that she told us of our daughter and ….of course you Max.”
A painful smile flushed his face as he looked down upon her.
“We had six magical years together ...didn't we darling?”
A single nod was all the energy Helen could give as the alarms on the machines surrounding her began to go off.
Max and Liz backed away giving room for the nurses as they disabled the monitors.
Just then Max rushed to her side taking her hand and resting it to his heart.
“Thank you for everything you did, you saved my life Helen. I ...I love you.”
Her lips trembled as she mouthed the words back before the nurse escorted them away leaving Matthew to say his goodbyes.
Turning to Liz, Max collapsed in her arms and buried his face in her hair.
“My mother loved me Liz, she never wanted to leave me.”
Suddenly it became clear to her why Max had left so long ago.
Her eyes slid shut as his husky tone whispered in her ear the words she had longed to hear for so long.
“I'm so sorry Liz. I love you ….“
“ ... I will love you forever if you'll let me.”
