Title: Merry Christmas To All
Author: Ginger
Genre: A/U, M/L Mature , sequel to Thanksgiving
Disclaimer: I own nothing Roswell…I like the characters so I’ve borrowed them for a little while.
Summary: Max and Liz are getting ready to celebrate the Christmas Holidays after having survived the “turkey hunt”… lots of fluff
* * *
Chapter: 1
Shit, shit, shit damn….I’m here in the house hopping around on one foot trying to grab a chair because I just dropped a box of frozen peas on my bare toe, tears are running down my cheeks and…it hurts like the devil. Damn. I don’t think I’ll ever fix peas again as long as I live. Damn. Now the phone is ringing…let it ring off the hook… damn! I can’t believe a box of frozen peas can hurt this bad…maybe I should start wearing shoes. Max keeps giving me grief over my shoes sitting by the back door instead of on my feet anyway. They aren’t good shoes, just something to slip on while I take out the trash or run to the market. Nothing really fancy…just some old tennis shoes.
Well, there’s the answering machine…it’s Maria.
“Come on Liz! Pick up! I know you’re there, I just drove past not five minutes ago…where are you?”
I hobble over to the phone, sometimes I could kill the woman! D’ya know what I mean?
“Hello!#%!” I practically yell into the phone…
“Well, what’s got your panties in a wad?”
“Dammit Maria! I just dropped a package of frozen peas on my toe and I think I broke the damned thing.”
“What, the box of peas?”
“Yeah Maria, I’m crying over a freaken box of peas! NO!@$! My damned toe Maria!!!”
“With frozen peas?”
“Yes Maria! frozen peas!…Now if you truly want to call yourself my friend get your ass over here and take me to the hospital.”
“Well, okay…if you’re serious I’ll be right there.”
“I’m serious as hell and I’ll be waiting.”
We hang up and I try to think…what the hell should I cover my foot with? It’s throbbing like crazy and Max won’t have any dinner ready when he gets home if I go to the hospital. There’s nothing they can do for a toe anyway. Maybe put it back into place or something…it doesn’t look bent or anything, but it is turning a little purple…damn, it shouldn’t turn colors that fast…should it? Hell, there’s Maria…no sense in asking her opinion, she’s as useless as they come in a crisis, but this really isn’t a crisis. I don’t want to call Max, he’ll just get upset and want to come home…damn. I guess I will go over to the E.R. and have them take a look.
“Liz? Liz? Where are you girlfriend?”
“In the kitchen Maria. I need you to go upstairs and get me my slippers. I know I can’t put a shoe on this foot…it’s already swelling up and turning colors.”
“Lemme see.”
She takes a look and then I get the hysterical stare she’s famous for…I don’t need this, not now.
“Shit Liz…frozen peas did that?”
“Yes Maria!…Would I lie to you?” I’m hurting like hell here people!
“Well, no, but it’s kinda hard to fathom a box of frozen peas doing that much damage.”
“Well I guess it hit just right. Are we going to sit here and talk about this all day or are you going to go get my slippers?
“Which ones do you want?” Like I give a shit!
“Some comfortable, big ones Maria. I don’t give a shit which ones just get some.”
“Oh alright, ya’ old grouch.”
About that time the phone rings again and Maria answers it this time…it’s Tess…our other partner in crime so to speak.
“Tess girl, can you pick up my kids with yours and take them home with you I’m taking Liz to the hospital… We think she broke her toe. … Yeah, I know…barefoot again. … Yeah, it looks awful. … No, we can handle it, you don’t need to come with us. …. Welllll, if you want to, just meet us over at the E.R. that way one of us can head on over to the school when it’s time. … . Yeah, okay. See ya’ in a few.”
“Well, Maria…do you need a bull horn or is the phone loud enough for you?”
“Look grouch…I’m going to go get your slippers and you sit there and think about cleaning up your act…okay?” Now she’s pissed! What’s she pissed about, her toe’s not broken!!!
Friends, what would I do without ‘em…I really do love her you know…I wouldn’t talk to just anybody like that.
About that time she shows up in the kitchen with a pair of tennis shoes and three pairs of slippers…
“Here, take your pick.”
So, like a good girl I choose a tennis shoe for the left foot and then I try to put a slipper on the right…no way. That damned toe hurts like a sonofabitch…I kid you not.
“It’s no use Maria, I can’t put anything on that foot…let’s just keep the thing bare and get going.”
“Okay, but put your other shoe in your purse.”
“What the hell for??? I can’t wear it!”
“Well, we don’t want people to think you only have one shoe!”
I look my friend in the eye and let me tell you…I think she’s serious. Honest to God the woman is serious as hell, not one smirk, not one grin or a single smile…she’s freaking serious!
“Just give me the damned shoe Maria, my jacket is in the hall closet. Now my next question is…how in the hell am I going to get to your car?”
“Hop?”
Again, she’s serious, so I hop. Like a god damned toad I’m hopping…could this day get any more ridiculous?
*
We finally arrive at the hospital and, NO…I don’t believe it. Tess has Isabelle, my mother and Diane all waiting with her at the door to the E.R. Ah Shit!
“Well hello everyone.” I shout as Maria let’s me out of the car at the entrance to the E.R. My mother has a wheel chair waiting, for which I am truly grateful because the hopping just wasn’t doing it for me, and the other three are all crowding each other out of the way trying to be helpful. This is truly a nightmare.
“Sweetie, are you in a lot of pain?” My mom, seriously, I’m going to kill Tess, I swear. I glare at her before answering my mom.
“It hurts mom but it’s just my toe. They’ll fix it up in no time.”
“Liz, you really should try to wear shoes.”
“Yes mom, I know I should wear shoes, but I don’t and that’s why things like this happen. So let’s just not look at the what ifs and get me inside before I get frost bite on the damned thing as well as a new color.”
And then they all look at my purple toe…and it is purple already. Ugly purple.
“Good Lord Liz…that thing looks awful!” Isabelle, she will probably want to design a dress to match it so I will be color coordinated.
“Yeah Iz, I know…maybe they’ll have something to cover it with without it hurting.”
“Well, you could try one of Max’s socks…I’ll bet they’re big enough.”
“I’ll give it a try when I get home Izzie, thanks.”
I just want all of them to get the hell away from me…why do I have to be civil when I’m hurting…I think I’ll kill Tess. Tomorrow, when she stops by to see if I need anything, and she will, I’ll do it then. A kitchen knife. I can trip her and she’ll fall on it and then when Maria comes in I’ll trip her too. Get rid of both of them. Don’t they realize what they’re doing to me? Wait til they do something like this…I’ll get even with them just wait. But they never do anything like this…they wear shoes!
Well, I’m finally in an examining room and guess who pokes his gorgeous head around the curtain…you got it…my husband, Doctor Max Evans, pediatrician. Who in the hell called him? I didn’t want him disturbed...dammit!
“Hi Angel…I hear you had a run in with a box of peas.” He says as he looks at my toe and frowns, big frown.
“Yep…peas.”
“My God Liz…a box of peas did that?”
“Yep. And not one word about shoes Max Evans, not one single word.”
“Yeah, I saw the gallery out there. Who’s the guilty party this time?”
“I think both of them. Maria called then came over, Tess called and she and Maria had a discussion about coming to the hospital and when I got here the entire state of New Mexico was waiting for me. Well, half of Roswell anyway.”
Then my sweetie bends over and kisses my forehead and smiles.
“Which one are you going to kill first?”
“Oh, I’ve got it all planned out. Whichever one comes over first gets tripped into a kitchen knife, the second will follow out of sympathy.”
“Hmmm, I see. Have it all figured out do you?”
“Yep.”
“Liz, sometimes you scare me.” He says with a chuckle….
“Oh, I’d never do you in Max…you’re too good in bed…and everywhere else for that matter!” I smile, big smile…and just as I finish that statement Dr. James sticks his head around the curtain and I think my husband might just be planning MY demise right now. Dr. James is trying very hard to be professional and my husband’s ears are turning the color of my sore toe. Me, I’m enjoying this tremendously…I rarely get the opportunity to embarrass Max…it’s positively glorious so I just sit there and smile some more…great big smiles. Yep…you should see it, then that damned doctor touches my toe. The fun is over folks…he’s next with the kitchen knife and then Max is right there by my side grabbing my hand and holding it.
“Do you think we should ex-ray it Max?” That’s Dr. James…
“Well, probably…I’ll take her down. I’ve already called the office and told them I wouldn’t be back today. I was only going to go in and do some paper work when I saw the waiting room minus my wife and I knew she had to be here somewhere. I saw my last patient earlier and if there are any emergencies they can reach me here.”
“Fair enough. Let me get the orders ready and we’ll let you deal with it from here.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Max, why are they going to ex-ray it. You know they can’t do anything for it even if it is broke, just get me a prescription for some pain killers and we’re good to go.”
“I know that Liz, but we need to know what we’re treating here. It doesn’t look like it needs set but an ex-ray will tell us for sure. It really looks nasty though. Frozen peas…who would have thought.”
“Well not me that’s for sure. We may never eat peas again.”
And Max chuckled….it’s a beautiful sound folks and then I look at him, ohhhh he’s gorgeous and apparently I have that look that everyone says I get and he just shakes his head…
“Not now Liz…behave yourself.” He whispers loudly, looking very serious. Or at least he’s trying to, he’s also trying to suppress a grin, I can tell.
“Then quit looking so damned handsome, handsome.”
And he shakes his head again as he pushes me toward the elevators and as the door opens I give Max a look…he looks down at me and shakes his head again and laughs. That’s all I get, a laugh, dammit!
***
