nibbles2 - Hey! Welcome
nibbles2 wrote:If everybody wrote Max and Liz this way, I think I'd be a dreamer.
Thank you so much!
coccy - Your analysis is pretty much straight on there
suie wrote:I wonder why they wanted to take Liz with them to Paris.
I actually have an answer for that one If you take a look at the chapter before the Paris one, it was when Liz got assaulted by that rich boy. This is Nancy's (again, nothing is clear-cut when it concerns her) way of "saving" her daughter. To take Liz to a new environment. But of course, Liz doesn't know the real reason she's being dragged along on this trip since she still doesn't know that her mother witnessed her being assaulted.
RoswellFanForever wrote:To bring Liz to a foreign country where she KNEW Liz would be a fish out of water and likely not to want to leave the hotel room was just plain cruel.
Yeah, that's how it turned out. And maybe if her mother had told her that the reason she was being dragged along for the ride was her mother's way of "protecting" her against whatever could happen at home, after seeing her daughter getting assaulted just a while earlier. But of course, when it comes to Nancy everything gets blurred and messed up and her intentions never really turn out the way they should.
Alien_Friend wrote:But I think I did a bit of that this week through texting. He managed to apologize so as long as he really gets it and is finally taking me seriously on the matter I think we have a shot at moving forward. We both agreed we miss each other and love each other so that's something. We also agreed to talk soon. So we shall see how that goes. But I feel bit more relief than I have in last few months.
I'm so happy to hear that *hugs*
moomin wrote:I remember a couple of years ago being in love with someone who was a good friend to me, except it certainly didn't go well when I confessed my feelings (everyone warned me he was an asshole and couldn't understand where I was coming from).
I'm sorry to hear that.
moomin wrote:As for parts I'd like to see - can you write, oh I don't know, around 100 more chapters???
Haha, I'll do my best
And some words from the boy who I've based this Max on. The boy who can't be mine. This is what he wrote me about a week ago when I was hating my life.
I’m here to tell you that you’re beautiful. And that I love you.
And I know it’s maybe not the best kind of love for you. But it’s a love deep. It’s a love that will stretch through the snow and through the molten rock, through to the time when atoms cease spinning and black becomes a different colour.
Gives me hope that there are beautiful souls out there, so I just wanted to give you the same piece of hope.
On that note, let's go back to the fictional world...
60. Déjà vu
The Evans’ Residence
(2034) Max is 49, Liz is 48
“She won’t talk to me,” Max said.
Liz shrugged out of her jacket, while she closed the front door behind her. “Who?”
Leaning against the doorframe, Max’s stance seemed casual to the outside observer but his face told the truth about Max’s state of mind.
Max Evans was worried.
Liz frowned and started to remove her shoes. “She’s still in her room?”
“What if something really bad happened?”
Liz straightened and looked at her troubled husband. “She hasn’t talked to Zoe either?”
Max shook his head and pushed off the doorframe. Grabbing Liz’s hand, Max pulled his wife towards him and into his arms.
Crushed against Max’s chest, Liz frowned. “You’re really worried, aren’t you?”
Liz pulled out her arms from where Max had crushed them between their bodies and put them around his waist instead, returning his hug.
Max hated it when his daughters cried. He couldn’t stand it. He wanted to crawl out of his skin.
But to Liz, crying was a good sign. It was much better than the stone dead silence Brianna had given them over the last 24 hours.
“I’ll try and talk to her.”
Max kissed the top of her head before releasing her.
Giving him a sympathetic smile, Liz rose to the tip of her toes and kissed him lightly. “Stop worrying. It’s not good for you.”
It was not like Liz was immune to the troubles of her daughter. Brianna’s odd behavior had been on her mind every second since it had started. But Liz knew how worried Max got, how he couldn’t quite handle it, so there was no need that she added to the whole thing by showing him how truly worried she was herself.
She was good at repressing her feelings to a place where they got manageable.
A life-time in Max’s presence had taught her that.
Liz knocked lightly on the door and opened it slightly. “Bree?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” came the mumbled reply.
“You sure? It might make you feel better.”
“Dad sent you?”
“He’s about to collapse with worry.”
There was a sniffle and then she whispered, “Fine.”
Liz quietly closed the door behind her and walked up to the bed, where her 16-year-old girl was curled up in a fetal position.
Laying down behind her, Liz put her cheek against her daughter’s wet cheek, a gesture which resulted in a fresh river of tears from Brianna.
Liz put an arm across Brianna’s waist, fighting her own tears. It made her heart ache seeing her own flesh and blood in so much pain.
They just laid there for about fifteen minutes, neither saying a word. Brianna crying in the comfort of her mother’s embrace while Liz waited for Brianna to get ready to talk.
Then the crying stopped, the sniffles grew further apart and with a simple quietness Brianna opened her heart.
“I lost my virginity.”
For some reason, out of all possible things she had expected Brianna to say, that hadn’t been one of them. Which was odd, it should’ve been on that plausible list of things.
Liz forced herself to relax. It was weird to think of her 16-year-old girl having sex, but at the same time, she’d only been two years older than that herself when she had lost her virginity.
Kissing Brianna’s temple, Liz mumbled softly, “Sweetie…”
Brianna sniffled. “It was Jacob.”
For some reason, this comforted Liz. It felt good that her baby girl had shared her first time with someone that she knew so well.
“And now everything is awkward,” Brianna sobbed, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks.
Liz placed another kiss on Brianna’s kiss and stroked her hair back.
“I think he hates me.”
Liz didn’t even hesitate. “He doesn’t hate you.”
“He’s avoiding me,” Brianna sobbed. “I feel disgusting. Like a retard. Like I did everything wrong. Like he was disappointed in me or found me…gross or something and now he regrets it.”
Her words were stabbing Liz’s heart. The disgust Brianna showed for herself was so similar to how Liz had felt growing up that Liz knew far too well what those feelings were about.
“Did you know that Dad was my first?” Liz said.
Liz wasn’t sure her daughter wanted that much information about her parents, but she thought she would at least give it a shot.
“No,” Brianna sobbed, her voice neutral, with a barely concealed hint of interest.
“And we completely screwed it up. We barely talked afterwards.”
Brianna turned onto her back at this, staring at her mother in shock. Growing up, she had heard plenty of stories from Uncle Michael and Aunt Maria about how her parents used to fight a lot before they became a couple, but she had never heard much of it directly from the horse’s mouth.
It was difficult for Brianna to imagine that there had been a time when her parents hadn’t been sickeningly in love with each other because that was all she had ever seen. They were always all over each other, embarrassing her in front of her friends and making her boyfriends feel awkward.
“We didn’t talk because I thought your father didn’t love me and that he had just been using me.” Brianna’s eyes widened. “At the same time, he was busy beating himself up about how he had ruined my first time.”
Brianna grimaced. “Was it really that bad?”
“We were both drunk-“
“Oh my God,” Brianna whispered, starting to feel a lot better. Maybe there was still hope for her if her parents could turn such a screwed up history into something so good. “You’ve never told us this.”
Liz smiled. “Is there ever a good opportunity to tell your daughters that your relationship with their father started as a catastrophe?
Brianna returned the smile. “I guess not.”
“I was really ashamed too. I sort of tricked Max into it.”
“What?” Brianna almost laughed. Her mother was revealing an alternative version of herself that Brianna had troubles believing in just as much as she had troubles believing in Santa Claus.
“Not intentionally. He thought I wasn’t a virgin. So when we got drunk and we took things a bit further than we had planned, he didn’t know he was actually taking part of something big until it was too late.”
“Shit,” Brianna mumbled.
“Yeah, that’s one way to describe it,” Liz said with a rueful smile.
“So how did you sort it out?”
Liz grimaced. She didn’t really want to tell her distressed daughter that it took about four years before they sorted it out. So she decided to leave out that small detail. “Finally, we talked. We should’ve done it so much sooner. It would’ve prevented so many misunderstandings.”
Brianna wiped the tears off her cheeks. “So…what you’re telling me is that I should talk to him, huh?”
“You’re best friends, Bree. Do you want this to get in the way of that?”
Brianna sighed and looked miserable again. “How can we still be friends after what happened? He’s seen me naked! It freaks me out thinking about that. He used to put mud in my hair and now he’s seen me naked and touched me in a way no person ever has.”
Liz took a deep breath, happy on one level that Brianna was being so honest with her but also a bit unsure of how to take in that information. “This is a big thing, Bree. I’m not gonna tell you anything differently. But if you think about it, aren’t you happy it was him in a way? He knows you so well. Wasn’t it for the best that your first time was with him?”
Brianna shook her head. “I’m having trouble appreciating that right now with the image of naked Jacob in my head.”
Liz laughed before she could stop herself.
Putting a hand in front of her mouth, Liz mumbled, “Sorry.”
Brianna took one look at her mother and then they both burst out laughing. A good laugh later, Liz pulled her daughter into a hug. “Jacob doesn’t hate you. He’s your best friend. He wouldn’t have slept with you if it hadn’t meant something to him. There’s just too much at risk for that. He doesn’t want to lose you so he wouldn’t gamble with that if he didn’t actually love you more than a friend.”
“You know what the stupidest thing is?”
“It wasn’t awkward when it was happening. It was just us, you know. It was so…normal in a way. And it was so…beautiful. Like Jacob let me see this whole new side of him and it was so…beautiful, you know.”
Liz pulled back and stroked the hair off Brianna’s forehead. “Talk to him, okay. You’ve just taken this major step together and you need to talk about it. I’m sure he feels the same way; that he really needs to talk to his best friend about this. Problem is that you and his best friend are the same person. And the reason why it’s awkward right now is because neither of you know how to breach the subject.”
“Just talk, huh?”
“The best way to solve it,” Liz assured her.
“And you don’t think he’s going to run away screaming when I walk up to him to confront him?”
“Bree. It’s Jacob. Do you really think he would do that to you?”
She didn’t have to think about that one. Shaking her head, she looked relieved. Smiling shyly, as if it had just hit her that she had just had the most intimate conversation of her life with her own mother, she bent her head and mumbled, “Thanks, Mom.”
Capturing Brianna’s head in between her hands, Liz kissed her forehead. “Thank you, sweetie.”
Because Liz was just so happy that Brianna had felt that she could confide in her in that way. It felt like they – too – had taken a major step that night.
“You’re not gonna tell Dad are you?” Brianna asked with a tad of worry.
“Eh… we might want to keep Jacob alive for a bit longer, don’t we?”
Brianna laughed. “For now anyway.”
“Yeah…” Liz shook her head. “So we definitely shouldn’t tell your dad about this.”
“Love you, Mom.”
“Love you too, Bree.”
Max was preparing a sandwich for himself when Liz walked into the kitchen. He tried to appear casual as she hopped up on the kitchen counter and settle in to watch him move around the kitchen. But she could tell that he was itching to ask her what Brianna had said.
“So…” he put the bread knife in the kitchen sink “…you were in there a long time.”
“Yep,” Liz said simply, breaking off a piece of cheese from Max’s sandwich which was next to her on the counter.
“Did she tell you? What’s been going on?”
Max smiled, knowing that she was making this hard on him on purpose. Walking up to her and putting one hand on each side of her hip and leaning into her, his lips were almost brushing against hers as he said, “What did she say?”
Liz shrugged, trying to act unaffected by Max’s close presence. “Not much.”
There was a warning note to his voice, as he slowly said, “Kitten…”
Liz gave him a small smile. “I’m sure you’ll sleep better if you don’t know the details.”
His eyes widened slightly at this as a gaze of worry crossed his eyes. “What happened?”
Liz placed a hand against his cheek in a comforting gesture. “Don’t worry, Evans. She’s gonna be fine. She’s having some boy troubles.”
Max relaxed some. It was not uncommon for Brianna to have boy troubles.
Max frowned as his thoughts continued down that track. Even if Brianna had lots of boy troubles, she had never reacted this badly before.
“What’s so different about this guy?”
Liz looked at him for a long second, hesitation in her eyes, wondering how much she could let him know before he would figure things out and Brianna would be mortified about her father knowing the whole truth.
Max visibly relaxed, but there was confusion in the furrowing of his eyebrows. “Oh.”
“They had a fight.”
In the beginning of their friendship, Max had been very wary of Jacob’s part in Brianna’s life. Judging from his own life, he knew what a friendship between a boy and a girl could very much lead to and that made him nervous. But as the years had gone by, Max had warmed up to Brianna’s best friend. Time and time again, Jacob had proved himself worthy of looking after Brianna.
That still didn’t mean that Max had abolished all of his carefulness when it came to Jacob. Jacob was after all a boy. A testosterone-driven boy that spent a lot of time with his beautiful 16-year-old. Again, judging from his own experiences, teenage boys could never be trusted.
“What did he do?”
Liz laughed softly and shook her head. “What makes you think he’s to blame?”
“He’s the boy,” Max answered simply.
Liz laughed. “If I hadn’t seen proof of the opposite with my own eyes, I would’ve accused you of being a girl with you blaming everything on the male race.”
Max shrugged. “I don’t blame everything on the male race. I mean, the male race is pretty awesome, you have to admit that-“
Liz smiled, the twinkle in her eye agreeing with that statement.
“-but when it concerns my daughters, I have close to zero trust in the male species.”
“So what did he do to her?”
Just then Brianna descended the stairs, her entrance attracting the attention of both of her parents. She pretended that she wasn’t aware of the fact that they were following her with their eyes as she pulled open the door to the refrigerator.
As the silence continued to embrace the kitchen, with Max and Liz watching their daughter rummage through the refrigerator, Brianna took a hold of the peanut butter jar and murmured, “Subtle, guys.”
Max glanced at his wife and smiled. “What’s up, Bree?”
Brianna turned around to face her father. “Not much.”
Max nodded slowly, “Cool.”
Liz pulled out the kitchen drawer next to her and found a spoon. She held it out to Brianna, “Spoon?”
Brianna smiled easily. “Thanks.”
Discarding the lid on the counter, Brianna dug the spoon into the peanut butter. “Jacob’s coming over soon.”
Liz smiled, feeling relieved at that announcement. Jacob was ready to talk.
“It’s a school night,” Max remarked.
Liz glared at him, even though she knew it was Max’s way of showing that he didn’t think Jacob deserved to come over after making his daughter cry so many tears.
“He won’t stay for long,” Brianna said easily.
“That’s fine, sweetie.” Liz and Brianna shared a secret smile before Brianna spun on her heel and headed for the stairs.
Her father’s hand on her arm stopped her. “Bribear…”
Turning obediently to face him, she had a kind of foreboding on her face, afraid that he had somehow figured out what had happened.
As he pulled her into his arms and pressed a kiss to her forehead she found herself instead fighting tears. She wanted nothing more than to break down and have her dad comfort her the way only he could.
But she knew with frank certainty that the knowledge of her losing her virginity wasn’t something her father should acquire at this moment. Maybe it was something she should never tell him.
“If you need me, I’m here.”
Brianna looked up into her father’s dark protective eyes and gave him a soft smile from her heart. “I know. Thanks, Daddy.”
When Brianna had disappeared up the stairs, Max turned and walked up to his wife. Leaning into her, he softly kissed her lips. “So, everything’s okay?”
Liz nodded. “Our baby’s growing up.”
Max didn’t seem overly happy about this prospect. “Yeah, I’m starting to realize that.”
“She’ll do just fine.”
Max nodded. “I know. But I still worry.”
Liz placed a light kiss on his lips. “Me too. Me too.”