Can't Fight Fate (Semi-AU, M/L, TEEN, 1/1) ~{COMPLETE}~

[LysCat]

Title: Can’t Fight Fate
Author: Lys
Category: Semi AU.
Rating: TEEN for language.
Couple(s): M/L, A/I, M/M with reference to other couples.
Summery: One part...this is a story of love, heartbreak and forgiveness.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything, I am just borrowing the characters.
AN: I saw a movie on Lifetime and it got my mind working and so I wrote this. Also, this is the second thing I ever wrote, I was just too nervous to post it so...be kind. As always, FB is always appreciated.




Liz looked around her living room with a contented sigh. The house was decorated with miniature Santas, snowmen, elves and other Christmas decorations. She had her husband up on their ladder the day following Thanksgiving as he decorated the outside of their two story home using lights and other props they had collected over the past years. Every year her neighborhood held a contest for the best looking yard and they had finally won it!

Her parents as well as in-laws, and close friends she referred to as a second parents watched on as their grandchildren had settled themselves down as Santa sat around a fire place and began telling Christmas tales of old. Ten children in all! It was amazing. Not all of them were hers, but they grew up in families close to one another feeling as though they were all brothers and sisters. Not too far away from the younglings, were doting fathers.

She zeroed in on Santa as he told his tale. She remembered how hectic it was trying to rent the outfit. Being the organizer that she was, had put the costume on hold two months earlier just for this occasion. When her husband had brought the outfit home he had found that it was too awkward for him. The outfit was too big as well as the boots. He looked like an obese Santa with all the stuffing under the outfit. On top of that, the beard was messed up. Liz wondered if her children even noticed their father’s absence.

As if noticing the look, Santa looked up and met her eyes for the briefest moment. He mouthed the words ‘I love you’ before turning his attention back to his audience. It was the simplest act and sweetest gesture, but her eyes turned misty. She remembered a time when her life wasn’t as happy, a time when she thought her husband, who back then had only been a boyfriend, had been lost to her forever. The relationships among the friendships that had formed were altered forever. Before allowing herself to become too nostalgic she cleared her mind and walked back into the kitchen where her best friends were helping her prepare the dinner feast.

“As if Alex lighting the cat’s paw on fire on accident wasn’t enough, his tail hair is singed off as he runs it over a candle!” Liz walked in on three laughing women as Alex’s beautiful blonde wife told the story. “We were standing near the counter making dinner and we smelled burning hair. We turned around and saw his tail caught on fire. Alex had to rush to put it out before any of the kids saw it, but he wasn’t fast enough. Hallie saw the entire thing and was in tears. It took us an hour just to calm her down.” She stopped as she wiped the tears that had gathered in the corner of her eyes.

“Oh, thank god Kyle and I haven’t gone through that yet.”

“That’s only because Skyler is too young. Wait until he gets older,” Liz warned.

The four went on talking about their children and hilarious happenings that had already been shared before but cracked them up none the less. During their stories of the past years Liz’s mind drifted back to the summer following her sophomore year of high school.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(PAST)

“Liz!” Maria Deluca called from down the hall. Liz looked up and met her best friend’s excited gaze. Eager to greet someone Liz rushed off towards her. “When did you get back?”

“Late last night. I didn’t get a chance to talk to anyone before I had to get some sleep for today. What’s going on with you? And why is everyone staring at me? Is there some vicious rumor going around or something?”

“Or something,” Maria muttered under her breath. She was a little upset that Liz’s flight had been delayed. She would have preferred to share the latest news with Liz alone instead of a place full of gossipers and spiteful girls.

When Liz heard Maria muttered something her heart sped up. She was more than sure something was wrong. “What’s going on?”

“We should go somewhere more private,” Maria hedged.

“What’s...why would we need...” Her voice trailed off though as she looked down the hall and saw her love.

Max Evans, just thinking about him made her sappy and saying his name had always brought a dreamy smile to her lips. For the longest time he had been a complete mystery to her, well to everyone other than his sister Isabel and best friend Michael Guerin. He was so handsome, yet he was so shy. He had been approached by girls in the past that were straight forward in what they wanted, but he never accepted. He would simply decline and turn away with a bright red cherry colored face.

It wasn’t until September 19th of her sophomore year when she learned what made him so mysterious and shy. When she had been shot one afternoon Max had placed his hand on her wound to help apply pressure from the bullet hole that had marred her stomach as they waited for the ambulance to arrive. Liz, Maria and eventually their other best friend Alex Whitman began hanging out with Max and his friends, at first it was for saving Liz’s life, but eventually it changed because they had actually formed bonds with one another.

Over the course of months the group had paired off. Maria and Michael were the first people to take a plunge in the romance department, though it had started off as something more physical than emotional. Slowly, but steadily Isabel and Alex had formed a relationship. Then, Liz’s dream came true when Max finally asked her on a date. She had secretly been in love with him for years, and when he saved her life it was an ice breaker for them. They had only gone on one date before the entire thing ended.

Eventually every relationship ended in one way or another. With Isabel it was because she had been too fickle, with Michael it was because he was too scared and for Max it had been because of Tess Harding, new girl in town. Even when they were together, Liz knew that Tess was never far from Max’s mind one way or another. The previous May was the last straw for Liz. She kissed Max goodbye and walked away from him in hopes that everything would get better.

Of course it never did. She left Roswell because she needed to get away from Max. She had always prided herself on doing the right thing. She also left because she needed answers...so did Max. He needed to find out whether this thing with Tess would play through. For her, it was a more personal reason. Seeing how Max acted with both her and Tess, she needed to know if she was the only one. She refused to stay in a relationship with the chance of breaking up because he had feelings for someone else she obviously couldn’t compete with. In her mind it was logical, but she figured that he would have waited for her. As she stared in horror at her one time, almost boyfriend with his arms wrapped another girl Liz’s world came crashing down.

“Is that them?” Liz asked in a stupefied awe. Max had his arms around Tess as she walked in front of him. It was a rather intimate position in Liz’s mind. Isabel and Michael had their hands entwined as they talked quietly amongst themselves. What was going on? Liz didn’t fail to notice their looks, they looked horrible. They were all pale and their eyes were so droopy.

“I know,” Maria conceded. “I don’t know what happened. One day they were awkward with one another and the next week it was like they had been couples for ages. Max and Tess have been all over each other, not caring who was around. Isabel and Michael...at least they seem to have some more class than that. Whenever Alex or I am around they act civil and hold off on the PDA.”

Liz’s mouth dropped open as she stared in horror. It was like watching an episode of the Twilight Zone. “I can’t believe it. They...how long have they been like this?”

“Since the beginning of the summer.”

Liz cut a quick glance at Maria, angry that her friend hadn’t mentioned any of this during their many phone calls. “They have been couples since then?”

“Only Max and Tess. They spent a night together...from what I heard it was pretty hot. Since then they have been inseparable. As for my guy? I guess that happened a month later.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A month later Liz was walking to the parking lot when she saw Max walking right in front of her. She jogged to catch up to him. “Hi Max.” She had hardly spoken to him since school had started. The only time they ever said anything to one another was in class, even then it was never friendly.

“Oh...hey Liz.” He sounded less than happy to see her and Liz had to force herself from showing her dejection from it.

Liz placed a smile on her face and brightened up. “So, what’s going on? I mean we haven’t really seen a lot of each other lately.”

“Nothing much, just hanging out.”

“Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to get together sometime?” She asked rather uncomfortably, Max wasn’t making this very easy on her.

“I really can’t. Besides you know I’m with Tess.”

“I know, but I’m just worried about you.”

“You don’t need to be,” he excused.

“But I am.” She wouldn’t let the subject go. It was scary watching the one person she loved doing so badly. There was nothing definite, but everyone could see that Max, Isabel and Michael were doing horrible.

Having had enough of her outreach program, Max angrily spun on her. “Don’t be worried about me. I feel great, better than I have in ages. Besides, Tess is taking really good care of me.”

“I was just worried,” she explained after his explosion.

“Like, I said I’m fine. Look, I gotta go. I really don’t need to deal with this.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(PRESENT)

“Hey Liz, are you okay?” Vicky asked. Liz mentally shook her head as she smiled at her friend. Never as a teenager would she picture herself friends with Vicky Delanie.

Vicky had been Kyle’s first girlfriend after Liz had ended things with him. It was rather awkward for them when they were all together. Even though Kyle and Vicky only dated a short while Liz remembered her pleasant and weird conversations with the blonde.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about some stuff.”

As if knowing what Liz was thinking Maria and Isabel stopped what they were doing and walked over to Liz. “Liz, why do you think about that stuff?” Isabel asked quietly.

It had been years since then, even so Liz still got upset sometimes. Maria and Alex had gotten over it ages ago, but Liz...it was as though she enjoyed punishing herself. Isabel also hated that time as well. She was one of the few that hurt their friends.

“I don’t know. Sometimes I just wonder...what if.”

“Lizzie, you shouldn’t think of what could have happened, you need to think about what did happen,” Maria explained trying to make her friend feel better.

“I know...” Liz brushed the subject aside quickly and tried to focus on Vicky, but again her mind wandered. She was lost in her thoughts so quickly again that she hadn’t noticed her husband’s retreating form from the kitchen.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(PAST)

Liz’s return home had been a bittersweet welcome home. That night Maria had thrown a welcome home get together for Liz. Alex, Kyle Valenti and a few other friends had been invited. The night was fun and once all the other guests had left Liz sat down with her best friends and they talked about things that had happened over the summer.

After Maria and Alex finished telling Liz how calm and boring their summer had been, with Kyle giving little details here and there, Liz shared with them her summer. She talked about her ‘could have been summer romance’ with Justin Jacobson. He lived three houses down from her aunt and it had been instant attraction. He tried acting on it as Liz kept herself from him in hopes of returning home to Max’s arms.

An hour into their conversation they were surprised when Max, Michael, Isabel and Tess announced their presence. Liz couldn’t keep her eyes off Max. He looked so handsome. She wanted nothing more than for the world around them to disappear and walk into his arms, but her thoughts ended when she noticed that Tess was in his arms instead.

As surprised as they were, they couldn’t keep the hope that they were feelings away. By the time the conversation ended though, no one felt anymore hope. Max, Michael, Isabel and Tess said that they didn’t see a need to hang out with Liz, Maria, Alex and Kyle anymore. Tess suggested it was better for them anyway seeing as how both groups were growing into different people. What shocked Liz, Alex, Kyle and Maria was the fact that the others never stood up to Tess’ suggestions and that none of them spoke. They actually looked kind of bored. Liz and the others were so shocked they hadn’t had a chance to say a word before the other four left.

For months, Liz, Maria, Kyle and Alex watched as their once friends were sucked downward in a never ending spiral. Liz’s heart broke for Max. He slipped further and further into his alternative self, doing drugs. He would go to school still high off of whatever he had taken, messing up in school, talking back. Before she knew it, he had stopped going all together. Isabel and Michael seemed to follow the pattern that Max and Tess set. Late into November it had been a complete shock when Max, Michael, Isabel and Tess had let Roswell without letting anyone know.

It was common knowledge that Max and Isabel were at odds with their parents after they began doing drugs. Every now and then they would steal money from them to help support their habit. Not long after Phillip and Dianne Evans gave their children choices. Max and Isabel left the house that night without saying anything to their parents and went to stay with Michael. A week later when Dianne called the apartment. The phone had been turned off. Worried, she rushed over to the complex and spoke to the land lady. Michael’s lease had been up for three days and that he was two months behind on paying it.

In that time the four clung to one another and another faux pos had been made. Looking back on it, Liz realized they weren’t mistakes, but it had helped to change things. Maria and Alex had grown so close and clung together so tightly they had lost their virginity to one another in a night of pain as Liz and Kyle tried again at another relationship. It hadn’t lasted a week because Liz was still pining for Max. Kyle was never hurt though. He realized that no matter how much he loved Liz, Max would always be more important to her. They formed a tight friendship that even Maria and Alex had been let into.

Another few months passed. Winter was officially over and spring was hedging forth. It had been an unusually warm night in Roswell. Maria had left early for a date with Alex and Liz had offered to cover for her. The lights were low and as she was getting ready to head upstairs a n all too when something caught her attention. Liz spun around, half in fear while the other half full of anxiety and she almost lost her footing when she saw Max standing outside the front door of the Crashdown.

“Max!” She ran to the door and let him inside. Hey eyes ran over his body. His face was so sunken and pale, he looked as though he had lost so much weight. It scared Liz when she realized how violently he was shaking. “Max?” She asked as she framed his face with her hands unsure of what to do to make him feel better. His eyes looked dead and what little emotion she did see was nothing but sadness. She hadn’t every experienced anything like it.

“Money...please. I need some money. I have to get rid of the shakes I will feel so much better.” At his request she dropped her hands and took a step back. So that’s all he wanted? Money? Of course that would be all! After all, didn’t he take money out of Alex’s wallet?

“No,” she refused softly. She wasn’t about to help him.

“Please.”

“No!”

“Liz, I just need something to help me feel better. Please.”

At his heart wrenching confession she wanted to give in, she wanted to make the pain go away for him, but she refused to do anything of the sort. What kind of friend would she be if she helped his habit? Tears were now cascading down both of their cheeks.

“No.”

Max violently pulled away from her. “You are such a frigid bitch! I just need a little help and you refuse to give me any money! Why? Because you want me and you know you can’t have me?”

“Get out,” Liz ground out quietly. She couldn’t believe Max would actually call her that. Before she let herself get too upset though she forced herself to remember it was the drugs talking.

Realizing he made a mistake Max started in again. This time he had a softer voice as he looked into her eyes. “But you can have me.”

Liz was disgusted with him at his offer. Who knew what else he had done in the past for drugs. Had he offered his body to other girls as well for money? “Get out!”

“Come on, you know you want to. I give you myself for some money. We both get what we want.”

“GET OUT! GET OUT!” Liz started pushing him through the front door of the café. Max forgot that the threshold was slightly elevated and he tripped on it and landed on the ground in a thud. Liz feeling guilty for pushing him ran to check him. “I’m so sorry Max, I’m so sorry.” Tears were falling again, for her friend. He was so bad and she was so afraid that something would happen to him.

Max took advantage of her sitting on the ground and laid in head in her lap as the tears began flowing. “Tess is dead. She died. I don’t...don’t want to die. I don’t want to die like she did.”

Liz had helped bring him into her apartment over the Crashdown and held him that night as he cried and slipped into a troubled sleep.

The next morning Liz had taken him home to his parents where they called in at work before spending their time with Max. They learned that after two months after leaving Roswell that Michael and Isabel parted ways with he and Tess. Max talked about Tess and told his parents what happened. Tears were shed between the three of them because of the things that Max went through. After taking Max to the hospital to be checked out Mr. Evans made arrangements for Max to be placed in a detox program. He would be gone a few months before he would be returning to get his life back on track.

The morning of his departure Liz had gone over in hopes of spending some time with him before he left, but his parents took up all of the time. Phillip had packed the suitcases in the car as Max hugged his mother one last time. He looked at Liz, surprised she was there.

Max knew there wasn’t much time to waste. His father had already started the car and was patiently waiting for him. He stalked up to Liz and hugged her. Without any words he pulled away before piling into the car. Liz and Dianne clung together as they watched Max leave.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(PRESENT)

“Hey guys, why don’t you set the table? Dinner’s almost ready.” At Isabel’s request they all stood up ready to help. Everyone was eager to eat.

“How about a kiss for your handsome husband?”

“Alex!” Isabel shoved him playfully.

“Come on, just one. I need some lovin’ over here.”

With a roll of her eyes Isabel kissed him quickly. “Hey, where’s Max?”

“I think he went upstairs.”

“Oh.” Once Alex followed his friends into the dining room Isabel went off in search of her brother. She found him in bedroom staring at his wedding picture with Liz. “What are you doing?”

He had walked in on his wife during her conversation with her friends and just about died at the forlorn expression on her face. Every once in a while Liz would get lost in her thoughts and she would think about the past. Their past relationship. “Just thinking. Look at her,” he showed his sister the picture of his wife in wedding dress. “Look at how beautiful she is.” She was more than beautiful to him though. She was his goddess, his angel. “Why didn’t I ever realize what I had before Tess came?”

“You did, but sometimes people make mistakes,” she reminded him. “You moved at a snails pace at asking her out. Why did you end things with her in the first place?”

“Tess wasn’t from around here. She was beautiful and exotic and fun and I wanted to be a part of it. That sounds like the worst thing to say doesn’t it?” Max asked when he realized how stupid his answer to his sister’s inquiry was.

“Kind of.”

“Why couldn’t I just stay away from her? I did so many bad things when I was with her.”

“They say that everything we do has a meaning.”

“Then why would I do drugs and steal and...what was god’s plan in that?”

“Maybe to help you appreciate the life that you have now. Do you know how many people don’t recover from drug addictions? We are lucky that we did and look at your life Max. You are married to the woman you love and have three beautiful children with her.”

Max didn’t say anything after that. What could he say.? He had been really bad at one time in his life. In his teens, there were too many days when he was never even sober. He and Tess did whatever they needed to when it came to getting drugs. They stole from friends and family, they even had threesomes with complete strangers for money to feed their addiction. Whenever he thought back to it, Max always felt nauseous at the things he did. Sometimes he didn’t know what Liz even saw in him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(PAST)

Three months later Max returned home from the detox center. He looked one hundred percent better, even if he had lost all the weight and muscle he used to have. When he first returned home he stayed away from Liz, Maria, Alex and Kyle. He had no idea what to say to them. How was he supposed to pick up where he left off? He had become a horrible friend. He stole from Alex, said things that were completely horrible to every one of them. He was a little more than nervous for the confrontation he was sure would come. He wanted to get back to where he used to be with them, but how could he when he didn’t know how?

Instead he spent his time working out at the gym and trying his hardest to catch up in school. Max had decided to finish the rest of his junior year with home schooling in hopes of catching up enough for him to be able to be back in school his senior year. Other than spending his time studying he went to the gym at least two hours a day. Whenever Alex, Liz, Maria or Kyle were near by he did his best to get away from them as quickly as possible.

Even after the time he spent at home he still hadn’t been to the graveyard to visit Tess’ grave. How could he? When they first met he had fallen head over heals for her. The longer they were together the worse he became. Not only had he betrayed the trust his family and friends had given him, he had done despicable things, He had given up his virginity to a girl that didn’t deserve it, as well as spend countless hours engaged in other sexual relations for the smallest amount of drugs, he had even left his family and his friends all for a girl that didn’t deserve it. Sure, he’d had a crush on Tess, but to leave his home for her?

Yet, as he looked back on it now, he had honestly thought himself in love with her. She was short and busty, she was fun and talkative and she drove him absolutely crazy. Once he had met her, she was all he could think about. He knew he had to try things with her. It was something he knew would haunt him the rest of his life if he didn’t try, at least that was his excuse when he fell into her bed for the first time. Then again, he did try and he knew that she would haunt him for the rest of his life anyway.

One night as Max was leaving the gym he was surprised to find Liz leaning on the side of his jeep. He had basically kept away from her, from all his old friends. He had watched Kyle start a relationship with Vicky and shy away from the group a little, while Maria and Alex continued their odd relationship. His heart began pounding as he struggled to keep his composure. He easily tossed his bag in the back and looked at her.

“So, um what’s going on?” Max asked after a long, uncomfortable silence.

Liz blinked, more than a little perturbed. That was all he had to say? “What’s going on? That’s the best that you can ask after everything? You come home and don’t even bother repairing the train wreck you caused with your friends...you don’t apologize for the things you said to me that last night?”

Max stared at the ground in front of him, he couldn’t form a sentence for the life of him. He knew why he had avoided his friends, he just felt so overwhelmed. How was he supposed to apologize and expect forgiveness when there were still days when he couldn’t forgive himself. What had he said to Liz? It was obvious that she was still upset, what did he say that was still hurting her? Was it as horrible as his mind was conjuring up?

He looked at Liz quickly, “uh...um...what...do you mean? What...what did...I say?”

Liz uncrossed her arms as she studied him. He looked very uncomfortable and she was enjoying it. Never once in her entire life had she ever been so humiliated, and the fact that Max was the one to...just thinking about it made her want to scream at him and make him feel as bad as he had made her feel.

“What was it you said to me again?” She mockingly asked as he fidgeted some more. Max looked down knowing that by the anger in her voice that this was going to be a doozy. “You called me a frigid bitch and said something about me wanting you and you not wanting me, followed up by you offering me sex for you getting money to buy drugs.”

The self anguish and loathing settled in at the beginning of her play back and had been going full force even after she had stopped. God, how could he have said that? Liz was the one thing he was always happy to have in his life...until Tess. Liz had become his best friend when their mutual friend had hooked up. They had spent countless hours together before his sister and convinced him to ask Liz out. Their one date had been a little awkward for him, he knew how much she liked him, but he had never thought of her in a romantic sense, still, they were happy and Max enjoyed the time that he spent with her. How did things go so wrong? He had actually offered himself for money? It wasn’t the first time he had offered himself, but to Liz? Before they even dated she was his friend...his good friend. What kind of person was he to do that?

“I did what?” Still unable to understand it she repeated the entire thing again. Why did he say those things?

“I know,” Liz agreed. “It was quite a shocker to me too. I mean how was I supposed to feel when the one person I loved said something like that to me? The doctors at the hospital explained that it was only the drugs talking, but it was still your voice. After everything we went through...to hear those words coming out of your mouth was...horrific. I don’t think I ever despised you for anything as much as I did that night.”

“I am so sorry. I know it doesn’t mean much after the way I behaved to everyone, but at this point it’s the best I can offer. I never wanted to make you feel like that Liz. Never.”

Liz watched him break down into tears. His heartfelt confession had even touched her. Hearing his voice crack at his apology made her heart ache for the agony she knew he looked to be experiencing. “I know, I know.” Before they knew it, the two had embraced and began healing the still fresh wounds.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(PRESENT)

“And we became friends again. It was slow, but it was steady. She helped me with all the work that I missed in school, she helped introduce me back into a normal routine and was even there to break the ice when I began talking to the others again.”

“So, why do you think about this stuff?” Isabel asked wondering where the problem was. She knew exactly what it was that Liz did for her brother, everyone did. Honestly, Isabel had no idea where her brother would be if Liz hadn’t offered to help him the way she had.

“Whenever Liz thinks about this stuff I always get this feeling that I’m not good enough for her.”

Isabel wanted to roll her eyes at the pathetic behavior her brother was showing. She had no idea why her brother and his wife tortured themselves the way they did. Everything happened years ago. Why did they continue to bring something up that couldn’t be changed? “If you weren’t good enough she wouldn’t have even considered marrying your sorry ass.”

“You wouldn’t understand!”

Isabel looked down after his outburst before staring at him with hard, narrowed eyes. “That’s bull!” she called out, “Alex and Maria were angry, but they put aside their differences ages ago. Why can’t you? It doesn’t really matter right now anyway it’s Christmas Eve Max. You should be downstairs with your family.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(PAST)

“You are such a liar!” Liz cried out with a smile on her face as they walked home from the movies one night. They had gone to see Phone Booth with Maria, Alex and Kyle earlier. When Maria offered to drop them off they passed an decided to walk.

“I swear.” He replied as he held his hands out in peace.

“Riight...like I’m going to believe you.”

“Why wouldn’t you?” He asked in a mockingly hurt tone.

“Because you always did this to me.”

“Did what to you?”

“Lied about everything swearing it to me that it was the absolute truth.” After her comment Max couldn’t stop the smile from breaking out over his face. When Liz saw it she pushed him away from her. “See! I knew it! You did lie!” Max looked down at her slightly pinked face and couldn’t help the thoughts that started. God, was she always this beautiful? He already knew she was beautiful, but he couldn’t remember the last time he thought her so enchanting. During the movie he had found his thoughts clouded by her. She seemed to be on his mind all the time lately.

“What was up with Kyle?” Max asked after a brief silence between them. He had noticed Liz’s ex-boyfriend staring at them an awful lot while his new girlfriend was attached to his arms.

“Oh, the last time that we all went to the movies together, Kyle and I had gotten back together,” she answered looking anywhere but at him. What Liz had felt for Max was genuine and while he had gone out a found someone else she had stayed true to him...until Kyle. Even though Liz had never told anyone, one of the main reasons she ended things with Kyle was because it felt as though she was cheating on Max...or the chance of them. Inwardly she rolled her eyes, it sounded completely stupid. “It ended a little later, but I am still his friend and I know he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to me.”

“And I’m bad?” The question started out playfully, but when he noticed her pause he swallowed hard knowing that all playfulness had been erased.

Liz looked at him, wondering if she should be completely truthful. “For a while there you were. You really hurt me Max. You did and said a lot of things without considering anyone’s feelings but your own, you broke my heart...and Kyle was there to pick up the pieces.” Liz couldn’t stand to see the look on his face. She knew that Max regretted everything he had done, but it didn’t change the fact that he had done it. They were still rebuilding their friendship. It was going slow, and she found herself sometimes walking on eggshells when it came to certain things with him.

“Wait...you and Kyle got back together?” He asked after he thought back to what she said. He didn’t know that, he thought by sure he would have at least heard something.

“Why is that so shocking?”

“I just...thought that things were over with you guys the first time things ended between you.”

“Well, he became my safety line, kind of like the way Alex was for Maria.”

Max didn’t say anything, but he had seen things between Alex and Maria. He knew for a fact that they weren’t the innocent high schoolers they used to be. Liz had mentioned that one night they had slept together and had stayed a couple since then. So...if Kyle was her lifeline much like Alex and Maria were did that mean she and Kyle had done things? He decided it wasn’t his place to ask, but it didn’t stop his mind from conjuring up different scenarios.

Had Liz really slept with her boyfriend for comfort? That would really suck, because Max knew that Liz had been in love with him before. He knew that it would have been his fault had Liz and Kyle actually slept together. What was Kyle thinking about? Liz was his!

WAIT A MINUTE! Liz wasn’t his. He gave up Liz to try things out with Tess. He lost his virginity to Tess, he had given up his chance with Liz. Why would Liz bother to wait for him? She thought he hated her at one time...hell, he made no secret with the nature of his relationship with Tess. Why would she wait around for someone who treated her like shit? Max knew he didn’t deserve her, so why was he even upset? He was positive that after everything Liz would never take him back.

“Max?” She asked breaking through his thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“You still there? You got awfully quiet.”

“Just lost in thought.”

A few months later the Evans’ had been called when a hospital in Chicago had Isabel in ICU. The family rushed to the airport and were reunited with her and Michael. Both teens had been in a car accident and both were pretty messed up. After returning to Roswell, both Isabel and Michael were shocked to find Alex and Maria a couple. A few days later they were sent to the same detox program that Max had been to without the chance to confront their one time friends.

When Isabel and Michael returned they began mending the mistakes they made with Maria and Alex as well as the others. There were many times that things in the group were more than awkward, and nothing was ever the same between the friends as they were before Tess, but they built new friendships.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(PRESENT)

Soon after Max walked downstairs dinner was served. Since the children had been placed at a different table the adults were able to talk about anything they liked. The conversations varied from one subject to another. No matter what was said though, Max never once opened his mouth to contribute. Instead, he ate his meal in silence and often glanced up at his wife.

His wife...was he lucky or what? He always knew how lucky he was to get her after all the mistakes he made, but it still amazed him that she would take him. During his senior year, things between Liz and himself were...sort of awkward. They had rebuilt their friendship, and in some way it had strengthened, but there were still so many unspoken things between them. Liz never mentioned Tess and his past with her, which Max had no problem with. They never mentioned the night that he had offered himself for money again. It was as if they felt that if they ignored it, the truth would just go away.

From that time forward, Max wanted nothing more than to make Liz his own. He wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of eternity with her, but it was another unspoken issue. It may have been two and a half years since he jilted her, and while they reconciled, the idea of getting together was never mentioned. Maybe it was because he had betrayed her, maybe it was because Liz was still hurt. Max didn’t know for sure. All he knew was that no matter how close they grew Liz wouldn’t put herself in a position with him that would maybe allow her to cross the line of friendship and into romance.

It wasn’t until their second to last year of college that things between the friends had gone back to how they had once been. Maria and Alex had ended their relationship soon after high school ended, but they were still nervous to get close to their ex’s around the other person. It wasn’t until Alex actually sat Maria down and explained to her that he and Isabel had decided to try things again. Maria had simply smiled and wished him luck. What Alex didn’t know was that Maria and Michael and been secretly dating for a month already, the only reason why nothing had been said openly was because Maria was worried about what Alex might say or feel.

The only couple that things didn’t change for was Max and Liz. Even after years since their troubled time, they often kept themselves distanced. Whenever they would spend a lot of time together and things became more heavy or serious than they wanted they would pull back from each other for weeks at a time. Liz dated around with different guys from her classes while Max was set up on dates with his Isabel and Maria’s friends. Neither was very happy and it was obvious to their friends that there was still some sort of an attraction between Max and Liz.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(PAST)

“So, how’d the date go with Lena last night? Maria was ranting and raving about her yesterday.”

“Well, the only good thing I can say about her is that her IQ is the same number as shoes she has at home.”

Michael snickered at him. “Why don’t you just stop Isabel and Maria from setting you up and be with who you really want?”

“Because Liz doesn’t want me,” Max answered staring out at nothing. “She’s done what she could to distance herself from me when it comes to romance between the two of us.”

“Can you really blame her?” Michael asked. “Look Max, shit happens, explain that to her and tell her to move on.”

“I’m not going to tell her that ‘shit happens’ Michael, I fucked up...royally,” Max mumbled.

“It was years ago! She should get over it by now! I know that Maria has, and looked at Isabel and Alex. We’re all happy now.”

“It’s not the same Michael. When you and Isabel became a couple Maria and Alex didn’t care as deeply for you two as Liz did for me,” Max explained, hoping not to offend his friend.

Michael stayed quiet for a minute. “It may not be the same, but let me give you some advice. Leave the past in the past, you screwed up, at least you’re willing to admit it. Go for it with Liz, if it doesn’t work, then at least you know you tried. Listen, I have to go. Maria and I have a date tonight. I’ll see you later.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A few weeks had passed since Michael had given him advice and still, Max had not been able to use it. He was too nervous. He would let the advice get stuck in his head, he would get primed and ready to ask her out, but he lost all nerve whenever she came around.

It was a rainy night and Max had decided her just couldn’t wait anymore. Sure, he had screwed up in the past, but he wasn’t going to allow her to keep punishing him for something he did six years ago. He would try this one time, but if he didn’t get her he would force himself to move on.

“Max? What are you doing here?” Liz asked as she answered the door. She ushered him inside.

“I needed to speak with you. He looked around her apartment and noticed that they were alone. “Where are your parents?”

“At a movie.” She walked to couch and sat down before giving him all of her attention. “So, what’s up?”

Slowly making his way to her he sat down on the chair opposite her. He took a deep breath, as he tried to pet some piece of mind for his confession. When nothing came he jumped out of his seat and began pacing. “Okay, this is kind of hard for me so please be quiet until I finish.” Liz nodded at him even though he couldn’t see. “I love you.”

Liz stood up about ready to say something, not even remembering the agreement she made just seconds earlier.

Max, having noticed her rushed on. “I have for a long time. I made some bad decisions in my life, but you were always there for me, even after I so callously left you. And while I wasn’t in love with you then I have grown in love with you since. You have become my everything in these past few years. I know that I messed up where we are concerned, but is there just the slightest chance that we would be able to...would you ever be able to forgive me enough to give me another chance?”

Liz looked at him wondering when that had come about. Since Max had returned home Liz had done what she could to become friends again, but that was as far as she dared to go. She had gotten over her anger at him ages ago. What were her choices? Stay angry and hate what had happened between them or resolve issues and have him as a friend? She wanted him in her life and she settled for friendship.

Even though she didn’t want it to, her feelings for him had come back full force. She was still in love with him, after all that happened between them she still wanted him more than a friend should want another friend, but she never dared cross the line. She couldn’t forget the fact that she and Max were dating when Tess moved to town. Liz could still remember the way Max would look at the blonde when he and Liz were dating. Just remembering back to those days made Liz feel as inadequate as she felt then. He was her first love...her only love, but his first love was someone else.

Not to mention the fact that she knew some of the things he did when he was with Tess, when he was still into drugs. Alex, Maria and Liz had gotten together not too long after the other Michael and Isabel had returned home. Liz found out that Max confessed everything he ever did to Alex one night. Liz knew that Max had experienced degraded sexual activities just to get money for drugs. It wasn’t that she was grossed out with it, Max since then had grown up, but his experience was still fresh in her mind. Liz was also aware of the fact that he had slept with at least one other person since he had been clean. What would he want with her? She was just an inexperienced woman.

“Liz?” Max had watched her since he finished. He had seen the various emotions splayed out on her face through every thought he was sure went through her head.

She looked up at him, tears threatening to spill over. “I can’t do this Max. It’s not that I don’t forgive you, because I do...”

“I see...” he looked away from Liz. His heart was breaking. He had hoped, hoped that they could overcome the past, but it was obvious that she didn’t feel the same way. “Well, I guess I should go.”

“Max...wait!” It was too late though, he had already gone. It was just as well, he probably needed some time away from her. She sat on her couch and stared out at the spot where Max had just been standing. The way he looked when he left was...he looked like someone had just killed him favorite pet.

Liz covered her mouth to muffle the sobs that were threatening to break out as the first tear fell. Why did he have to say anything? He wasn’t supposed to love her, she had adjusted to the fact that he never would. Where did he have the right to...the nerve! Then again, he had made her face some things. Maybe she was still hurt by him, they had never really discussed what happened between them

She walked to her room and tossed on a pair of shoes before making her way outside. She shouldn’t have turned him down as quickly as she had. Running down the street in the direction of his house she vowed that she wasn’t going to lose him. She had gone through enough shit as it was. She stopped running when she saw him only a few feet ahead, walking slowly with his head down. Coming to a stop she yelled the only thing she could think of.

“Why?”

His guilt had been eating up at him since leaving Liz’s. So many thoughts had been flying around in his head, mostly about how it was his fault that Li didn’t want him. When he heard footsteps behind him he hadn’t even bothered to stop, but hearing that voice got his attention. ‘Why?’ He spun around and stared at a sopping wet Liz.

“What?”

“Why?” She repeated as she took a step closer. “Why did you like her? Why did you have to meet her after we had already started dating? Why were you so mean to me? Why couldn’t you have just loved me back?” She asked sobbing.

Max walked closer to her. His throat tightened at hearing the questions and it caused his tears to start. “Liz...” He tried to touch her, but she pulled away, his arm fell lifelessly to his side.

“I want to know why! What was it about Tess Harding that you couldn’t resist? God Max, do you know that I over heard you talking to Michael when she first arrived? I had to listen to you gush about how beautiful she was, how curious about her you were.”

“Oh Liz...” he groaned knowing what was coming next. He knew what he said, but he had no idea she even heard him. “Liz–”

“You even told him that you regretted dating me because I was the one thing standing in the way. Do you know how that feels? Do you know what it’s like to hear the one person you love, that you’ve loved for years confess to someone else?”

“Liz, I was wrong. I was only sixteen!”

“Doesn’t matter how old you were. I still heard you and those words still hurt me when I think about it.”

He knew that there was nothing he could say to make it up to Liz, but he wanted to explain to her how he felt. “Tess was something completely different from what I had grown up around. She was so fun to be around and she was...I thought she was perfect.”

“As opposed to me? What was I?”

“You were my friend. Do you know how weird it was for me to date someone that I considered a good friend? Things between us were awkward and Tess...wasn’t.”

Liz listened to his explanations and felt nauseated. She hadn’t wanted to hear about how great Tess Harding was. She was far from that. She was an oversexed drugged out bitch. Liz hated Tess, even years after the girl’s death she still did. Not only had Tess taken Max from her in a romantic sense, but she took her friend in him away...as well as Isabel and Michael.

“And your attitude towards me after Tess? I never did anything to deserve the things you said.”

“I know. I told you that night outside that there is no excuse for the things I said to you and the others, but there’s nothing I can do about it now,” Max replied cautiously taking a step forward.

“Why couldn’t you just love me then? Why wasn’t I enough?”

It suddenly dawned on Max what her problem was. She was worried about herself. Everything she had wanted to know about was something that had to do with her. She felt insecure and Max felt like the lowest person on Earth for that. It was obvious that her doubts were stemmed from what went wrong with them. He cupped her face in his hands and rubbed the tabs of his thumbs over her cheeks.

“I do love you, I love you so much it hurts. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone. I was an idiot in high school, I made more mistakes than most kids that age do. I made decisions that are going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I said things to you that I can’t even stand to think of because I feel ashamed for what I did, but you know what the amazing thing is? You were always there for me, supporting me, loving me at a time when I couldn’t love myself. You offered me your unfailing friendship and support when I needed it most. I can’t tell you why I didn’t love you then, but somewhere along the way it grew. I love watching you in class and seeing your eyes light up when you learn something new, I love the way that your hands fit into mine,” he demonstrated by removing his hands from her face and entwining their fingers. He smiled at her. “I love the way you make me feel like I’m the only person in the world for you, I love the way you dress for comfort rather than for style, I love each of your habits. You drive me crazy when you bite your bottom lip when you get upset, like you’re doing right now, I love you. Please Liz, give us the chance we didn’t have those many years ago.”

“Max, what if...what if another Tess Harding comes?”

“I’ve been down that road already, I know it leads to nothing but pain and heartbreak.”

“Max, I’m not...as experienced as may think and really, this is mostly new to me, and we really have no idea where this road with us will lead.”

His eyes burned into hers. “I don’t care if you aren’t experienced. You may not know where this road will lead, but I do,” he finished with a special gleam in his eyes.

“And where’s that?” Liz was still unsure about things, she had never been a big risk taker, but the ways Max’s eyes lit up made her feel giddy.

“Home,” he answered softly before he leaned down and kissed her the way he always wanted to.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(PRESENT)

“So, we’ll meet here tomorrow morning at seven?” Amy Valenti asked making sure she had the correct time.

“Yeah. Any later and I think the kids are going to explode,” Liz said with a small smile. “Are you sure that you don’t mind taking the kids tonight?”

“Never!” The older lady cried as she looked at Liz’s three sons. They were standing with their father and Jim. Everyone else had already left minutes earlier.

“Thanks so much Amy, I really needed some time alone with Max tonight,” Liz thanked.

“No problem honey, I love your boys so much!”

Liz smiled and looked over at her sons. Grayson, the oldest at seven had so far seemed to have her quiet nature, but he definitely took after Max with the looks. Chad, as it seemed, was the curious one. He had taken after his auntie Isabel in looks though with the same golden brown hair as her and his father’s hazel eyes. Johnathon, their surprise, was four years old and was more rambunctious than both Grayson and Chad had ever been.

“Okay boys, come give me a kiss!” Liz called out. As Amy and Jim made their way the boys took turns saying goodbye to their parents. “Be good!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Liz walked upstairs after picking up the rest of the mess. She was thankful that Maria, Isabel and Vicky had helped do the dishes. Liz wasn’t really anxious waking up extra early to clean before cooking. Walking into her bedroom she heard Max in the bathroom. She took off her clothes and tossed them in the hamper before pulling out a night shirt.

“Don’t change yet,” Max pleaded.

Liz smiled. “Why?”

“Because I ran some bath water for us.”

“Mmmmm, sounds nice.” She let him lead her into the bathroom and sat into the tub. She made sure he was settled before leaning back on him. “Mmmm, this is so relaxing.”

“I know,” he mumbled as he kissed her neck. “Do you know how much I love you?” Max asked. “Do you really have any idea how much you mean to me? You and the boys...you are my entire world. I don’t even know where I would be today if it wasn’t for you.”

“I know,” she replied softly, wondering where this was coming from. “I love you too.”

“What was that conversation about tonight in the kitchen?”

“I just...sometimes my mind wanders,” she replied, stumbling over the words. Liz knew there was no doubt that Max loved her, but what if things had ended differently? What if Tess returned home with Max and both had gotten help? Would they have gotten back together? It was things like that, that plagued her sometimes.

“Liz why do we do this to ourselves? Why think about the past?”

“What if everything was different and Tess was your wife instead of me?” Liz asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, though deep down it was killing her.

“That would never happen,” he replied entwining their fingers together and resting them on her stomach. “Yes, I had a first love with someone else, but you...you’re my queen. Do you remember the night we first slept together?”

Liz smiled. How could she forget? It was the best night of her life, or it had been until then. Their first time had actually been the night they admitted to their feelings. Max had taken her home and put her into the bath and she had shyly talked him into joining her.

“That was the most precious moment of my life. You giving yourself to me when I thought I would never have you...it was a dream come true.”

“I love you Max,” she said as she turned around and kissed him. He always knew what to say whenever she was having her doubts.

“I love you too.”

“Max?” Liz asked after a couple minutes of silence.

“Yeah?”

“What was another dream you have that hasn’t come true?”

“You should know by now.”

“I know and I think it’s going to come true,” she replied with a tiny smile playing at her lips. She waited for it to settle in.

“What do you...you mean...we’re pregnant?”

“Yes!”

“How do you know it’s Gloria?” He asked. Since they had first started making their family they had yet to have the baby girl they had wanted, they even had her named.

“A woman just knows these things.”

“Well, I hope you’re right,” he replied kissing her neck as he splayed his hands on her tummy. “How far along are you?”

“Uh, only two months, I wanted to be sure before I told you.”

“I hope she looks as beautiful as her mother.”

That night as Liz lay in bed she smiled as she stared up at the ceiling. Thoughts about her child were running through her head. She was sure that this one had to be a girl. She knew it, she felt it. She knew her boys were going to be boys before a doctor told them. She wanted a little girl, she knew Max wanted one too.

“I’m sorry about earlier Max. I don’t want you to think I doubt you or our love.”

“I know. I never have a problem showing you my love for you. If things get as hectic as they were and you start doubting...this...just let me know. I meant everything I ever said to you. You are everything to me,” he said as he pulled her close to him. “Are you happy with me?”

“More than you could ever know.” Liz laughed and leaned over and kissed him. “Make love to me?”

“Do I have to?” He asked with a small smile as he maneuvered above her.



The End.