My Name Is (Mat. 1/1, 11/14/07)

[erinkatie]

Title: My Name Is
Rating: Mature Disclaimers: I own nothing, I used some lines from the show and from the movie Superbad.
Summary: A little switch up. Part of a series of one parters (since I'm possibly the WORST updater ever, I should get an award).
Couples: BLAH!!!!!





My name is Michael Parker and five days ago I died, but then something really amazing happened: I came to life.


He was flipping burgers in his father's alien themed restaurant. It was his after school job but sometimes he would get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and a sudden fear would rise upon him that he would spend the rest of his life here. In Roswell, New Mexico, alien capital of the world, and probably the solar system.

"Hey, Mikey! That Guerin girl is staring at you again."

Ah, Kyle Parker, his jock brother and partner in crime: forever stating the obvious and with it, usually, his stupidity also.

He huffed, "that Guerin girl" (as Kyle so ruthlessly called her) had been staring at him since the third grade. So, to say he was used to it would be a severe understatement. He would probably feel uncomfortable if she ever stopped. She was… odd, to say the least.

"Stuff it up your ass, Buddha."

Kyle gave him his signature smirk through the pick up window.

"Ya know, Mike, I bet that Guerin girl would be the easiest piece of ass to land. She's always staring which obviously means she wants your cock in and around her mouth. Done deal." He slapped his hand down on the counter to emphasize his point.

Everything with him was a done deal. And yet, some how, Kyle could never close the deal.

Michael was too busy rolling his eyes at his ridiculous brother to notice the two men in the far booth bickering but less than thirty seconds later he sure as hell felt the consequences of that fight.

Some one screeched, Kyle ducked down (like the pussy he is), a gun fired, and then Michael felt the sharpest, hottest pain in his left shoulder.

Kinda close to his heart when he actually thought about.

He fell to the ground, and not at all graceful like that brown haired girl in that crazy TV show, who looked peculiarly similar to Lizzie Evans back in '99. No, of course he had to hit his head on the stovetop and the hand he was using to brace himself, which got second-degree burns. His ass landed square on the pots that fell to the ground with the rest of him. They had been on the stove. He would also have first-degree burns on that too.

Soft hands touched his face. Liz Evans hovered above him. Her eyes were wet. Was she crying?

"Hey there Michael- no, no, keep your eyes open. Michael!" She shook him.

His ass hurt and he was sleepy. She might have been more annoying than Kyle, which before, he would have believed impossible.

"Michael! Please, I need you to look at me, open your eyes." Fine. He thought. Gaze away into my beautiful eyes, Evans.

She put her hands on the side of his head, which was bleeding from the stove, and gazed into his eyes. He gazed back. They were gazing at each other. He thought it was a little awkward and briefly wondered how humiliating it would be if they were, you know, doing it. She smiled a bit, looking amused. Could she read his mind or something?

He felt a warm tingling feeling around his shoulder. He was mortified and prayed to Buddha that she wouldn't go for his ass. She smiled again. And then he saw something. Two girls talking. About him? Was it Liz's memory? It was brief but he got the general gist.

"Michael, please, don't tell anyone. You fell, hit your head and hand on the hot stove, and then burned your bottom on the hot pans under you, oh and you were holding this-" She grabbed a bottle of ketchup conveniently placed above her, "when you fell and it broke all over you." She broke the bottle and poured the tomato sauce all over his shoulder.

God he hoped he could remember all of that.

Stove. Hot. Ouch. Hand. Ouch. Head. Hot. Ass. Ketchup.

Yup, he got it.

Then that Guerin girl came in and grabbed Liz. "Come on, we have to leave before the fuzz show up." She pulled her to the back door and they disappeared.

He sat up as Kyle ran into the kitchen barely missing the healer and her sidekick, "Jesus Christ Michael! What happened? Wait- why the hell do you have that shit eating grin on your face?"

Michael smiled wider, if that Evans girl memory was any indication of the truth, which he was sure it was, then Maria Guerin definitely wanted his penis in and around her mouth.

Yup. Done deal.


THE END!