When Love & Loss Collide(M/L Teen/Mature) [COMPLETE]

Finished stories set in an alternate universe to that introduced in the show, or which alter events from the show significantly, but which include the Roswell characters. Aliens play a role in these fics. All complete stories on the main AU with Aliens board will eventually be moved here.

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KatnotKath
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Re: When Love and Loss Collide (M/L Tee/Mat) Ch53 24/12/07

Postby KatnotKath » Sun Jan 20, 2008 5:34 pm

Hey guys, sorry not to have been back sooner, I originally intended to post this for New Year but unfortunately that wasn't to be. Sorry for the delay but I hope it's worth the wait.

Ellie - It did didn't it :)? Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Adrienneleigh - Thanks for reading.
Flamehair - I'm glad you enjoyed 'the talk' after it being put off for so long I was a bit worried about an anticlimax.
Emz80m - Well it's a small step, but it's a step right?
Natalie36 - Thanks, hope you continue to enjoy the last few chapters
thetvgeneral - I'm only glad you enjoyed it.
roswell3053 - I think Emily is probably getting to know Max to an extent, but give it time and more will come I'm sure.
DreamWeaver - Isabel and Kyle - well....what do you think? lol As for Max and Liz, they have to start somewhere right?
begonia9508 - I guess they are lucky in some ways, but at the same time, it must be really difficult too, don't underestimate how hard it must be seeing someone so like their lost loves, and yet knowing it's not them. As for their ages, Liz is 17, Max is 20.
keepsmiling7 - Sorry, that deadline disappeared when I realised I'd forgotten about Nano, which was unsuccessful but still took away about a month. I am close to finishing this though, only a few more chapters left.
isabelle - I'm sure that it was difficult for both of them, but important at the same time. How can you build a friendship afterall when you don't know someone. I imagine some of the time they were talking they were looking down, trying not to look at one another, but what is important is that they continued and they did speak, and I think that's a good first step.

Okay guys, so I think there are four more chapters after this one, and I have to admit, getting so close to finishing after so long brings with it major nerves, I hope this isn't going to be a let down for anyone. As said earlier, I had hoped to be able to post this sooner, but things didn't work out that way, sorry to keep you waiting.

I'm going to ask for this chapter to be pruned as soon as I finish posting this, so you might like to check if you have notifications on the thread that they are still active
.
Thanks to anyone reading, love to know what you think of the new chapter.

Oh, and I know it's a bit late but I'll wish it anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR, I hope it's a good year for everyone!

Kat


Chapter 54

Serina, could I borrow your phone a moment, the battery on mine’s dead…?” Maria questioned as she poked her head into the other room after knocking on the door..

No answer…

“Serina…?” She pushed the door wide open and walked in, looked around briefly. With a smile, she noted the small pile of clothes on the one of the beds and a couple of toys on the floor There was no sign of the young woman in question, or her son though…

Then, suddenly from behind, the door to the bathroom opened part-way and a head of slightly wavy long brown hair emerged. “Oh, it is you Maria, I thought it was. Sorry, I’m just giving Thomas a bath, won’t be more than a few minutes…” She assured the younger girl with a smile.

“No problem, it wasn’t actually you I was wanting, as much as a favour…” The curley haired young woman admitted with a slightly awkward smile before hurrying to clarify, “Not that I wouldn’t want to talk to you of course…”

Serina allowed herself an amused smile, holding up a hand to stop the other girl’s hedging and nodded. “I understand, so shoot, what do you want…?”

“Well, my phone’s kinda dead, not to mention out of credit, and I wanted to call into work, to see about picking up my payslip before we leave…I was wondering if I could borrow yours…?” She shrugged sheepishly. “Everyone’s always telling me to remember to watch the balance of course, but I’m afraid I do have a bad habit of forgetting to do so…” Organisation had never been her strong point afterall…

Serina laughed openily at that. “Oh, I do that all the time, and sure, help yourself to my phone, it’s in my bag by the bed I think…” She turned at the sound of water splashing to look behind her a moment before turning back to Maria briefly. “If you just bring it back when you’re done, and I’ll be out in a few minutes anyway…I’m just going to have to finish up in here before he floods the bathroom though…”

Chuckling in amusement, Maria nodded and responded by telling her to to take her time. As the door shut once more, she then moved towards the bed to look for the bag which had been spoken of. Leaning over one side she smiled - Ah, there it was just as the side as she had said… Reaching to pick it up and putting it on her lap, she took a seat on the bed, crossing one leg over the other as she hunted in the bag for the phone.

Unfortunately, not unlike her own bag if she were to admit it, Serina’s bag was jam-packed full, and Maria quickly came to the conclusion that the easiest way to do this would be to empty it first…which she proceeded to do.

After removing the first few items, which including a purse and a lip-stick, she soon spotted the phone she was wanting and pilled it out, laying it on one side before beginning to put everything else back… The purse, however, seemed to slip through her hand as she picked it up, falling to the floor and opening on impact, it’s contents spilling out all over the floor..

Dropping down and muttering in frustration, Maria scrambled quickly to try and collect up the coins and paper, the latter of which appeared to be mostly receipts. Grabbing the purse, she dropped a handful of coins back inside, refastening the catch for safety before opening the back more fully to replace the papers.

It was at this point that she stopped though, her eyes widening as she caught sight of something. A small picture, probably from one of those photo booths, showing two people with a baby. Her immediate thought was that the guy was Thomas’ dad, except…he couldn’t be…

There was no mistaking the grinning face which looked back at her…Alex… Her brow furrowed in concusion…

“Maria..?”

Her head spun around quickly, immediately dropping the purse in a guilty manner as she became aware that mother and son had reentered the room. “Oh, sorry, I had to empty your bag to get your phone, and then the purse fell and it spilt stuff and-“

Serina gave a smile of encouragement. “Don’t worry about it…” Considering that she had already spotted a coin still lurking at the side of the bed, she didn’t doubt what Maria was saying, although the look on the other girl’s face seemed to suggest there was more. “Are you okay though…you seem kinda…nervy or something…?” She suggested hesitantly, looking over at her as she ussured Thomas further into the room while wrapped in his towel.

Blinking, Maria shook her head. What was she supposed to say…? “What, oh no, I’m okay…I just…” She paused a moment, reaching again for the purse. “I was putting the stuff away again, when I saw the picture you have in the back…”

“The picture…?” Serina’s brow furrowed for a moment as she tried to remember what she was talking about. “Oh yeah, the one that Alex and I had taken together with Thomas…” She smiled at the thought of her friend.

Alex… She had confirmed his name… Maria swallowed in an attempt to try and maintain her composure as she dared to ask, “H-he’s not Thom-“

”Thomas’ father, what, oh NO!” Although she had broken off without finishing, Serina’s eyes widened in amazement as she realised what the other girl might be thinking, and then again, her brow creased as the questions in her head continued to multiply. “B-but why would you care anyway…d-do you know him…?” Suddenly she remembered how Liz had spoken of him as a friend, and with a start, she realised that he would indeed have been the same age as the majority of the group…

Swallowing again, Maria bit down on her lip and nodded slowly. She was in fact hardly able to speak it seemed, strugging past the lump in her throat. “A-actually yeah, he was one of my best friends, other than Liz of course…we were called the three musketeers…before we got to know the others of course…” She smiled softly as she remembered so many times when she had hung out with just the two of them. Simpler, happier times in many ways… She was the only one left now… She closed her eyes at the realisation, a single tear slipping down her cheek.

“Hey, don’t cry…what’s wrong…?” Serina reached out towards the younger woman, touching her arm and causing her to look up.

Maria sniffed. “Sorry, I’m just being silly…” She paused a moment. “It’s just I’m the only one left…out of the three of us…it gets to me sometimes” She admitted softly, hating to voice the words she was implying…

“You mean…?” Serina’s face went white. “Oh my…I hadn’t heard from him in over two years now I’d say, but I just assumed he was busy, I never thought…” She trailed off, shaking her head.

Dabbing at her eyes, Maria looked over. “H-how did you know him…?”

The simple question caused Serina to smile as she thought of her friend. “How did I know him…?” She repeated softly. “Well, I guess you could say he saved me…”

The other girl looked at her blankly. “I don’t understand…” She shook her head.

The older woman nodded. “Okay, well I met Alex when I was in my first year of college… I was already struggling, I was getting no sleep, gave myself no break and was trying to hold down a part time job to pay for my accommodation and childcare too… I was a wreck basically, completely on the edge, and I wouldn’t admit it…” She shook her head and sighed. “I was determined that I had to do everything, and Alex well…he showed me I didn’t…”

“You mean he convinced you to drop out?”

She shook her head quickly. “No, definitely not! That was my decision the following year, I just couldn’t keep up, and much as I tried to deny it, when my marks began to drop, meaning the partial scholarship I had was in peril, I had to admit defeat… It was just too much…” A contemplative, slightly sad look passed over her eyes as she ran a hand through her hair. “No, but Alex the previous year showed me that I was pushing myself too hard, he said that there was nothing wrong with having a bit of fun sometimes, and he was right… He was sweet, and gentle and funny and-“

“sensitive…” Maria blinked and bit down on her lip, looking over apologetically as she immediately realised she shouldn’t have done that. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have interrupted, just-“

“No, it’s fine, he was your friend, I understand that…” She looked over at Maria reaching out, offering her hand. “I’m sorry for your loss Maria, he was a wonderful guy…”

“Yeah…he was…”

The two women lapsed into a silence which was only broken as Thomas cried out, tugging on his mother’s leg “mommy!” as he pressed close. She looked down, realising that he was shivering and knelt to give him a hug “Come on, let’s get you dried off!”

“I should…go…” Maria motioned towards the door awkwardly.

“Not at all, unless you want to…you’re welcome to stay…” Her suggestion was quickly rebuffed as Serina looked up briefly before returning her attention to her son as she got him to sit on the bed and she used a spare towel to dry him off quickly without reveaing too much.

“Are you sure…?”

“Didn’t I say so?” She raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Seriously though Maria, you’re welcome to stay, I mean it…” She gestured to the other side of the bed. “Sit down if you like, we haven’t really chatted much I know…” Looking back at Thomas, she grabbed some of his pyjamas from the pile of clothing and handed them to him. Still wrapped in the towel, he slipped back into the bathroom to get changed, returning a few minutes later, padding across the floor with bare feet.

“No, I guess things have been busy, which isn’t so unusual…” The younger of the girls watched the older mother as she had the little boy get ready for bed. “How are you doing…?”

“You mean with the whole aliens are-“

“real..? Along with alternate realities…” Maria nodded. “Yeah, that would be part of the question…”

There was a pause as Serina seemed to think, before nodding slightly. “Perhaps surprisingly well… Maybe that has to do with me having been a scientist anyway… They’re amazing suggestions, but at the same time, science has suggested they’re possible for a long time…you just have to understand the theories and equations…” She paused a moment to check whether her son had cleaned his teeth and, upon receiving confirmation, pulled back the covers and padded the mattress as she told him to get in. Pulling up the covers once he was inside, she tucked them tightly around his small frame and gave him a goodnight kiss before addressing her friend again.. “I mean I’m not saying I don’t think it’s incredible, and that there aren’t times when I question it all, but…” She nodded again, one hand smoothing Thomas’ hair as though on autopilot.. “I’m getting used to it…”

Maria nodded slowly in response. “I bet you never imagined what you were getting into when you insisted on leaving with Liz…”

Serina shook her head. “No, but you know what, it might sound crazy considering how it’s turned our lives upside down for Thomas and I, but I wouldn’t choose different…” She shrugged awkwardly as she withdrew her hand at a cry of displeasure from the little boy. “The moment I met Liz, there was just this connection, she reminded me so much of myself a couple of years back, and I wanted to mother her I suppose, but there was something more too… Perhaps it all goes back to having known Alex, but while I hate having left Ju, because she’s been a wonderful friend, I just feel like I’m in the right place now, with you guys…”

Listening carefully to what she had to say, Maria smiled softly, struggling to think of how to respond.. “Well, maybe you are…” She finally responded in a low voice.

“Y-yeah…” Serina sounded almost hesitant as she thought it over. “Maybe I am…” She murmured as she watched the sleeping figure of her son.
My fics:

Dreams and Reality
Reality Revealed
Family Connections
When Love and Loss Collide
When Friendship and Love Combine - New!
If Only...
The Important Thing
Home for Christmas
I Knew Him Before (PB fic)
Love Always...
The First Time Around - New!

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KatnotKath
Roswell Fanatic
Posts: 1130
Joined: Wed May 21, 2003 5:54 am
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: When Love and Loss Collide (M/L Tee/Mat) Ch54 20/01/08

Postby KatnotKath » Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:47 pm

Hey, I'm back (please don't throw things at me).

Thanks for all the feedback, sorry not to have updated this sooner.

Natalie36 - Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed it
roswell3053 - I'm glad you enjoyed the talk.
Flamehair - Thanks for sticking with this
begonia9508 - I agree, Serina holds a lot of possibilities and I'd love to know what the writers had orginally intended for her. On a writer's side though, it is nice sometimes to have a character you can flesh out some and that things aren't so set in stone about.
Emz80m - Thanks hun, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Not hating Serina anymore then?
Alien614 - Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying it, I know I've loved writing it.
isabelle - Maybe the aliens weren't around? Or they were busy with other stuff, hopefully I didn't mess up too greatly in working it that way and I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway.
83 AlienAngel - Well I'm glad you seem to like the story.
Timelord31 - Well, as long as you find it again and catch up. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
keepsmiling7 - Thanks for the bump, here's more

Okay, so I should have updated this a lot sooner than I have, but I had a bit of a period where I just didn't want to come online. I seem to be getting back into it and I have two weeks vacation from work coming up so I'm hopeful that I'll get some writing in there anyway. For now though, I hope you like the new part, thanks to everyone reading and I hope the story won't disappoint.

Kat


Chapter 55

“EMILY Noo!” Liz shook her head in a warning fashion as she looked around to see her daughter’s hand hovering near her new shoes. As soon as she saw the look on the little girl’s face, she knew what she intended and the mother was in no mood for blue, or whatever other colour Emily had decided she liked, shoes…black was just fine thanks.

“It’s amazing how you do that you know…”

The teenaged brunette shook her head again at the toddler, and then sat up and turned back to Max to respond. “What do you mean…?”

He shook his head and shrugged. “Just how you are with her, so natural, so easy…” He could never get over how good she was with the little girl. Despite her age, he knew she was a wonderful mother, yet it never ceased to amaze him when she did things like that…a typical mother trick…

“I wasn’t always…I’ve had a lot of practice though…” She gave a wry smile, turning back to Emily as the little girl tugged on her leg. “What is it baby…?” She questioned softly, and, although she made no verbal response, as the little girl motioned, Liz quickly understood. “Alright, up you come…” She smiled, lifting her daughter up onto her lap, wrapping her arms around her small frame and rocking back and forth gently, humming softly as she watched her daughter’s eyes slowly close.

Max watched in silence as he took in the sight in front of him. A perfect picture of motherly love, care and attention… He didn’t know how she could manage so well considering everything, it was just one of many reasons he had come to realise she really was an amazing woman…

“There were times when I nearly broke down, especially the first year…” Liz admitted softly after a moment’s silence. “There I was trying to balance everything, school, work, her, and it felt so hard…” She swallowed. “Not that Max wasn’t there, he was, and I would never have managed without his help, but I just felt so…”

“Overwhelmed…?”

She nodded. “I loved her to bits, and don’t get me wrong, I would never have given her up, but at the same time, I was terrified… I know they say that no mother is ever truly prepared, but me, I was fifteen, I was still a kid myself, we both were, and at times things were incredibly difficult…” The brunette paused a moment, seeking the right words to explain. “Everything had changed so completely in a matter of months, and I knew my life would never be the same again… I had gone from being a school kid, whose biggest problem was making sure I got my homework in on time, to being someone’s mother…and it was just…”

Max nodded in understanding. “It must have seemed like a huge responsibility…” He knew he had only cared for Xan for a week, and he had been older than she was anyway, but he thought he could understand perhaps a little of what she meant… That knowledge that he had been responsible for bringing someone into the world, that need to keep them safe, to look after them… He might have given Xan up in the end, but that didn’t mean that he loved him any less… He had given him up to enable him to have a normal life, to have the family he deserved…he had given him up, because it was the right thing to do, but it had been so difficult…

Liz looked at him, sensing something in his tone which suggested that this was more than just a comment he was making… “It was…” She nodded slowly, hesitating a moment as she continued to watch him, uncertain whether to say more. “To be responsible for another life, so tiny, so helpless, a small child who needs you…”

“It changes everything…” The words escaped his mouth before he had time to think about what he was saying…

She looked up again a look of question in her face. “Y-you speak as though you understand…I mean really understand…not like so many people who say they understand simply because that’s what they think you want to hear or what they are supposed to say…”

Max nodded slowly. “Perhaps I do… I mean I’ve not been through the same as you, and certainly not at the age you did, but…” He hesitated not wanting to voice the next, fearing what her reaction would be, and hating the thought of the hurt, or anger, or even hate, he might see in her eyes. “I had a child…with Tess…”

A deathly silence fell over the two of them, and it was only as Emily let out a whimper that either moved… Swallowing as she tried to compose herself, Liz took the opportunity to down, away from him and focusing on the child in her arms. Taking her time, she carefully adjusted her hold on her now-sleeping daughter and dipped her head to kiss her on the forehead… She continued to watch the sleeping babe in silence, not sure what to say… What could she say to something like that…?

And that refusal to meet his eyes and to respond, was perhaps worse than the looks he had anticipated would have been to Max… Somehow it felt like a stabbing in his heart and it hurt so much… Of course he knew she had every right to be angry and to hate him, after all, he hated himself for it…and Tess… Not Xan though, he could never hate his son, but the thought of what he had done, what had led to his conception… He had been weak, and stupid, and it should never have happened…

“Liz please…talk to me…?” Max swallowed and finally broke his silence as he looked over, pleading as he automatically reached to touch her arm, although flashing an apologetic look as she pulled back.

The brunette next to him stiffened as his hand approached, recoiling almost as though having discharged a gun as she bit down on her lip, still refusing to say anything… Deep down she knew, after all, that she had no right to be angry, she had no knowledge of what happened, of how it had come about, and it really had nothing to do with her anyway, and yet… “I-I’m sorry Max, I can’t…I-I just…need some time…” She shook her head as she rose from the bed quickly, lifting Emily with her as she stepped away from him and exited the room quickly.

Max closed his eyes as he heard her footsteps fade into the distance, a part of him wondering if she would ever come back and that same part also fearful of knowing the answer…

**********

“Max…?” Isabel ventured into the room slowly as her brother failed to answer, a look of concern flashing over her face as she saw the way he was sat staring into space. “Max…are you okay…”

“W-what…oh Isabel, hey, I didn’t hear you come in…”

A raised eyebrow demonstrated how unimpressed she was by the explanation he offered as Isabel moved closer and came to sat next to him. “I knocked…” She commented softly, looking up at her brother. “You didn’t answer…”

Max shook his head awkwardly. “Sorry, I was just…”

“Brooding…” She finished for him,

He bit down on his lip, He couldn’t deny it afterall, it was the truth…. “She ran away Izzy…”

“What?” Isabel’s brow creased in confusion. “You mean Liz…? She came back though didn’t she, and I don’t think she’s going anywhere in a hurry now, so it all turned out fine.…”

Max held up a hand to stop her. “No, I don’t mean that…” He shook his head again sadly. “I told her about Xan Izzy…I told her I had a child with Tess… We were talking, and he came up…and then she left…she hates me…” As he finished, his head dropped in resignation of the fact.

“Oh Max…” His sister reached forward, wrapping her arms around him, drawing him closer. She was sure not a day went by that her brother didn’t think for a moment about his son, and to talk about him must have been so difficult… In some ways it showed a lot of courage, and perhaps more so trust that he had opened up like that…

And yet she couldn’t blame Liz if she had reacted as he said either… Much as she understood it had been a huge thing for her brother to do, she also realised it must have been such a blow, a shock… She couldn’t imagine how it must have felt to the younger girl to be told something like that after everything she had been through… “I-I’m sure she was just confused, shocked…” She attempted to provide excuses on behalf of the brunette.

“She hates me…” Her brother interrupted softly. “And she has every right! Why didn’t I see through her, how did I honestly believe she was anything but evil for even a second Izzy…?” He rocked his head back, closing his eyes in desperation as he thought over everything again and again.

“You weren’t to know Max, she took us all in, she-“

“Not Liz…” He shook his head again, his head turning as his gaze came to rest on the photograph which stood on his bedside table as always. She didn’t fool her, she thought there was something wrong with her from the start, and she never believed th-“

“Max don’t do this!” Isabel interrupted, shaking her head repeatedly as she cut her brother off. She knew what he was going to say of course, just as he had before, and she hated to see him like this....

“I let you down, I let you all down…”

“No, you didn’t!” She protested with another shake of her head. “Max, you didn’t let us down…”

“Tell Alex that…” He responded sadly.

The mention of the other young man brought tears to Isabel’s eyes as she thought about the lanky boy. She still missed him…they all did…just like Liz, he had been a part of the group, and his loss was felt greatly by those remaining…

Despite this though, she wouldn’t let him continue to punish himself like this… She knew her brother still blamed himself for what had happened, and of course for the fact he had been too late to bring Alex back, but he would kill himself if he went on like this and that she just wouldn’t allow. “We’ve been through this over and over – it’s not your fault!”

“No, I just slept with his killer didn’t I…?” Her brother responded bitterly. “I believed everything that was said when it looked like Alex had committed suicide, even though deep down I should have known – Alex just wouldn’t give up like that! And worse still, when Liz tried to prove it wrong, I told her to stop… If possible he thought maybe he hated himself more than Liz did for what he had done at that time… Time and time again he asked himself how he had let himself be taken in by her, and time and time again, he failed to answer… He just should have known…

“MAX DON’T!” The force behind Isabel’s voice seemed to surprise even herself as she caused her brother to fall silent. She swallowed, her lip trembling as she looked up and blinked. “Don’t do this to yourself, don’t let her win…”

Her words gave him pause for thought. Was that what he was truly doing…? After everything they had been through, was this truly the result, did he really-

“I know maybe Liz reacted badly at first, but she’ll get over it you know, she’ll come to understand…” His sister ploughed ahead quickly; taking advantage of the fact she knew she had caught his attention now. “I know maybe it seems bad right now, but it will work out I’m sure… Liz will come around…”

“But she’ll never truly forgive me will she…?” He shook his head sadly. “She’s never going to look at me in the same way…” Max’s head fell forward into his hands. Things had been going so well, they had been talking, getting to know one another, and it had been…good…

Less and less he was looking at Liz and seeing his wife, instead he was learning about what had made her the wonderful woman she was, and he hated the thought that he might have thrown all that away… “We were becoming friends…”

“And you still will…” Isabel assured him softly.

“But I messed up…”

“Everyone makes mistakes…” She offered him a small smile. “I don’t suppose that this Liz and her Max intended to have a baby at the age they did – not that I’m suggesting that Emily, or even Xan is thought of as a mistake, but the actions which led to them can be… People do things which in hindsight are a bad idea. I’m sure that Liz will understand, just give her some time…you can still be friends…”

He nodded and swallowed, taking in his sister’s words and processing them slowly. They made a lot of sense of course, and she was probably right… Except, as he was coming to realise, perhaps he wanted to be more than friends…

Watching carefully, Isabel noted a strange look passing over her brother’s eyes. She looked at him questioningly. “What is it…?”

He bit down on his lip, rejecting the thought as it came to him. Surely he was just projecting his feelings for his Liz onto this other girl… They both knew how easy that was to do, and it had been an emotional few hours…

Except he wasn’t, and he knew it…which was why he felt a huge amount of guilt too…

“Max…” Isabel waved a hand in front of his eyes as she noted them go somewhat glassy, trying to pull him out of his daze. “Max what’s wrong…?”

Her brother swallowed, biting down on his lip and shaking his head, trying to deny the feelings which had been building since he began to let Liz in a couple of weeks back. It had started as just what they had said, getting to know one another, trying to find out about how their pasts were similar, and also how they differed… Which was all it was supposed to be, nothing more, nothing less…except the truth was that as he had got to know her, he found himself falling for the petite brunette all over again… Not in a ‘love at first sight manner’ as it had been with his wife, but still, he cared deeply for her…

“MAX!” Raising her voice this time, Isabel reached out to touch his arm, causing her brother to tense as he seemed to snap out of his thoughts and turned to face her.

“I’m sorry…” He whispered, seeing the fear in her eyes and hating that he, again, had been the one to put it there…

“It’s not important.” Waving away his apology quickly, she again asked him what was wrong…

“I think I just blew it…” He paused a moment. Before continuing, “I think I just threw away any chance I ever had…”

His sister looked confused. “You mean of being friends with Liz?” She looked at him and shook her head. “I told you, she’ll come around…”

Her brother hesitated a moment, not sure if he dared voice the response in his head… Then, slowly, he shook his head. “M-maybe…as friends…but what if I want to be something more…?”
Last edited by KatnotKath on Mon Mar 10, 2008 6:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
My fics:

Dreams and Reality
Reality Revealed
Family Connections
When Love and Loss Collide
When Friendship and Love Combine - New!
If Only...
The Important Thing
Home for Christmas
I Knew Him Before (PB fic)
Love Always...
The First Time Around - New!

User avatar
KatnotKath
Roswell Fanatic
Posts: 1130
Joined: Wed May 21, 2003 5:54 am
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: When Love & Loss Collide(M/L T/Mat) Ch55 10/3/08 AN 23/03/08

Postby KatnotKath » Mon Apr 28, 2008 1:27 am

Hey guys, sorry for the wait, hope the new chapter goes some way to making up for it.

Thanks for all the feedback!

keepsmiling - Thanks hun, I'm glad you enjoyed it. And I don't know about disappointed, but she was shocked for sure. Wouldn't you be though, if a guy who looks like the father of your child announced he had a kid with someone else, and not just someone else, but someone who helped destroy your life?
roswell3053 - Well I think I can guarantee she'll be surprised to say the least.
Ellie - I think that Maria would have done her best, but yes, maybe it was best it was Isabel who he said it to. I disagree about Alex not being a huge part of her life though - I think Isabel really cared about him, maybe even loved him, and that's not something that would easily be forgotten. I think maybe they all are a lot stronger than we'd give them credit for anyway though. And no problem about the sidetracking, I love hearing people's thoughts, really I do, please don't stop. I just hope the next chapter won't disappoint you.
Alien614 - I'm glad that you enjoyed it then.
Timelord31 - Thanks, hope you enjoy the new one too
begonia9508 - I'm not sure that it's so obvious - it's a lot more complicated than all that, but I guess that some feelings are hard to ignore...
Emz80m[b] - Max has had longer to deal with his loss though... I don't know, I hope I didn't make the wrong decision. As for Liz, are you reading my mind?
[b]Natalie36
- I'm back, sorry it took so long.
Flamehair - I don't think many of us can imagine it, but I'm glad you think she does well with it all. As for the confession, well maybe the reason for her reaction isn't quite as straightforward as expected. I hope you'll enjoy the new chapter.
Isabelle - Thanks so much sweetie, I'm so glad you think so. As for Max admitting his feelings, who knows whether he intended to say it, or it just came out, things have a funny way of doing that don't you know. Either way, can't be taken back now though. And with the I have a child and no explanation - I think he was expecting exactly what he got - maybe that's what he felt he deserved? I think Liz was more shocked than anything, so maybe you're right about her coming back with questions, only time will tell though. I hope you like the next chapter.

Thanks for all the bumps, and for the show of understanding over my computer troubles. I have to admit that RL issues came and took over before I managed to post even after the computer was sorted, but I hope I'm a bit more in control now - even if I am nursing a cold (feels rotton but really nothing wrong I know). Hope you enjoy the new chapter, love to hear what you think.

~Kat~


Chapter 56

There was no other way to put it – Isabel was stunned… She sat there for a moment in silence, a part of her wondering if she had stepped into the twilight zone… Whatever she had thought he was going to say, that wasn’t even in the vicinity or the state… It was just…

“You think I’m terrible…” Her brother looked down guiltily as he went on. “That I’m betraying what I had with our Liz…”

“NO!” She jumped to rebuff his comments, struggling to swollow as she tried to form a half decent response. If she didn’t say the right thing, she knew this had the potential to turn really bad…the question was, what should she say? In all honesty, she didn’t have a clue, but in the end, after another moment of consideration, she decided on the truth as she took a deep breath and tried to explain. “It’s not that…I don’t… You just took me by surprise is all, I mean you’ve had me telling Maria to back off constantly, I just neve-“

“Imagined that I would change my mind so quickly…?” He nodded and sighed. “Neither did I Izzy, it was the last thing that I expected, but-“

“Are you sure?” His sister interrupted softly, her eyes full of concern. “I’m sorry Max, but I have to ask… You lost someone so dear to you, and now another girl comes along who looks just like her, are you sure you’re not just transferring your feelings…?” The question was a difficult one she knew, but it had to be asked.

Standing up, Max began to pace the length of the room, shaking his head as he spoke. “I’ve asked myself the same thing…over and over… A part of me does want it to be that, because it would be so much simpler…” He sighed and paused, walking over not to pick up the framed photograph of him and Liz on their wedding day which as always sat on the bedside table… “I’ll always miss her Izzy…” He whispered softly as his finger traced around the happy face of his wife.

“I know…”

Nodding at her acknowledgement, her brother continued. “But that’s not what I’m doing… It’s…” He shook his head, breaking off, searching for the right word and in the end shrugging as he finished. “…just different I guess…” He looked over at his sister, searching her eyes for any sign of what she might think of him. Liz had been her friend too, and he knew she might think it was too soon...or even just simply that it was wrong. This was hardly a textbook situation afterall… “I know she’s not the girl I grew up with, and the connection I feel with her isn’t all real, but there’s a part of it which is, and the more I get to know her, the more that part strengthens…” Shaking his head again, he closed his eyes and as he continued, it was almost as though he was speaking to himself rather than anything else…. “I keep asking myself how I can say this, it’s not been that long, and in no way am I forgetting our Liz, but-“

“It’s okay Max… I’m not judging you, just I want you to be certain…” Isabel responded softly now, standing and moving to join him. She allowed him a moment’s silence, and then reached for the photograph in his hand as she continued. “If you really mean this though, you know what you have to do…” It was not a question, but a statement…

Releasing his hold on the frame, Max nodded. “Talk to her…” He shook his head desperately. “But I can’t… Not after this now, she hates me, she-“

Isabel held up a hand to stop him, “Max, I don’t know how she feels, but if you’re serious about what you’ve said, you need to talk to her…” She coaxed softly, trying to be as sensitive as possible. She understood it would be difficult of course, but that didn’t change the fact of what needed to be done…

Her brother exhaled a long breath before speaking again. “I know, but the question is how…?”

**********

“I know that it’s unfair, that I have no right to be angry, or even upset but-“

“It hurts…” Serina nodded in understanding as she listened to the younger girl’s somewhat rambled explanation. She had been sat in the bedroom when Liz came back in, and immediately she had known there was something majorly wrong from the very red eyes her friend was trying to hide…

At first Liz had declined to answer when she had asked what was wrong, insisting first that it wasn’t important, and then suggesting that it was just her being silly, but a sensitive and gentle perseverance had finally encouraged the young woman to open .

Not that Serina had been trying to pry, but she hated seeing Liz upset like, and she just wanted to help… Over the span of time, albeit a pretty short one really, they had known one another, the younger girl had become a dear friend, and if there was anything she could do, Serina was going to do it…

Liz swallowed and nodded as she looked up at her friend through the tears which had filled her eyes and refused to dry up. “I just keep asking how he could ever have been with someone like that, how he could ever have chosen her over me-well, not me, but you know what I mean…”

The older of the two mothers nodded silently, reaching out to pull her close. “I do, and it’s okay, its understandable for you to feel that way, it’s a natural reaction…”

“Maybe so, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s still out of line isn’t it…? I have no right to feel like that, to object to anything he did. Max is a friend to me for sure, but that’s itt - nothing more - and his past romantic interludes really have nothing to do with me…” The brunette shook her head slowly. “I guess I can understand why it would get to me so much – if for no other reason than Tess being who she is, but it wasn’t just that… When he said he had a child, and then I realised it was with another woman, I felt this pang…”

Listening as she spoke, Serina made no comment on this last, although she was increasingly certain she knew what was going on… Whether Liz was ready to hear it was another matter though, and if she wasn’t, and she did, it could do even more damage and the teen could end up hurting even more……

“It was like I was being torn in two, and it was so painful…” Liz fought desperately to bring her cries under control and the tension in her face was clear for anyone to see.. “It was like I wa-“ She stopped herself mid sentence as soon as she realised what she was about to say.

“Go on…” Serina looked at her, nodding softly.

She shook her head and swallowed. “N-no…I was just-“

“Tell me…” The instruction was made in a direct manner which was both gentle and firm.

Hesitating again, the brunette trembled as she looked down. “I-it was almost as though I was loosing him all over again…” She whispered softly. “Which is crazy, because I never ‘had him’ here…nor did I want to…” She shook her head and bit down on her lip hard. “Max and I aren’t like that, I know we’re not but-“

She broke off, and Serina waited patiently, giving her friend the time she needed…

“I-I could never forget my Max, and I’ll never stop loving him…”

“But…” The older of the two prompted gently, taking the hand of her friend in hers and giving it a gentle squeeze..

She swallowed and bit down on her lip. “I’m doing exactly the same thing I’ve told others not to haven’t I? I’m pretending it’s him…that it’s really-“

“Are you…?” Serina shook her head slowly, a deep, intense look in her eye as she finally voiced what was in her head. “Because you see Liz, I don’t think you are…” She watched to see how she would react…

The comment left the young brunette stunned… She opened her mouth to rebuke the suggestion, but then closed it again, finding herself uncertain what to say… “I-“

“Be true to your feelings…” The older of the girls whispered sofly.

The second shook her head again, growing more and more agitated by the second. What was she saying, how could she even think that…? “I-I can’t…it’s not fair, on either of us, it’s only going to make it worse in the long run…” Liz continued to shake her head in denial. “I haven’t forgotten him so quickly, I wouldn’t do that, I’ll never forget him…” She stood up and began to pace the room.

“Liz…” Serina too stood up as she tried to catch her arm. “Liz, look at me!” She told the young woman in a soft, yet firm voice.

The brunette turned and slowly met Serina’s gaze as she continued to ramble. “I can’t be doing this though, I can’t I ju-“

“Do you like him…?” Serina interrupted.

She blinked, taken aback by the simple question. After a moment, Liz nodded. “W-well y-yes…but he’s just a friend, and I like him like that…”

“Liz…” From the exasperated look on her face it was obvious that Serina wasn’t fooled.

The young girl swallowed again. “I-I” She broke off, turning away and looking down. “Yes…”

Her voice was so soft that Serina had to stain to hear but she understood perfectly. “There’s nothing wrong with that you know… You’re not betraying Max, or anyone else, and just because you still love someone who is gone, doesn’t mean they wouldn’t want you to get on with your life… Do you honestly think that your Max would want you to remain a single mother for your whole life now…”

A hesitation, and then, “N-no…” Liz closed her eyes, a shamed look on her face. “It’s too soon though, and I’m sure that Max would think the same, I mean how can I know it’s him and not my Max I’m seeing… How do I know I don’t want to see him so much, that I’m making myself believe it’s him…?”

Her friend smiled sadly “I think you know that answer already…”

A simple comment which Liz couldn’t deny was true… Deep down, she knew that Serina was right… She had been trying to hide it even from herself, but when she looked at Max now, she didn’t feel the temptation to fall into that familiar connection so much, as a completely new one… The talking to one another had really helped her to separate one Max from the other, the only thing she hadn’t been prepared for, was the feelings it would reveal… “What if he doesn’t feel the same way…?” She questioned sofly now.

Serina shook her head slowly, offering her a small smile of reassurance. Unfortunately, that wasn’t something she could do anything about, except be there if and when her friend needed her. “Well…there’s only one way to find out…”

The younger of the two women nodded thoughtfully. “I-I think I’d like to get a bit of air…could I leave Emily with you…” She motioned to the little girl who was sleeping soundly on the bed by now, causing Serina to nod.

“Of course…take your time…” She assured her friend with another smile, watching as she turned and headed out of the room.
My fics:

Dreams and Reality
Reality Revealed
Family Connections
When Love and Loss Collide
When Friendship and Love Combine - New!
If Only...
The Important Thing
Home for Christmas
I Knew Him Before (PB fic)
Love Always...
The First Time Around - New!

User avatar
KatnotKath
Roswell Fanatic
Posts: 1130
Joined: Wed May 21, 2003 5:54 am
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: When Love & Loss Collide(M/L T/Mat) Ch56 28/4/08

Postby KatnotKath » Mon Jun 09, 2008 2:48 am

Hey guys!

Thanks for all the wonderful feedback, and sorry not to have posted this sooner, I've kept coming back to it, intending to post, reading through and finding that I want to edit it again. I'm finally drawing the line though, because I could go on forever I guess. Hope it's worth the wait.

PML: Thanks for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I like the way you put it too, simple but meaningful.
Natalie36: Thanks, I'm glad you think I got it right, hope I do the same here.
Emz80m: Well I hope it didn't disappoint after all that time.
keepsmiling7: Thanks for the bump, and the thoughtful comments. It is difficult for them both I know, but the end is near I promise and it will get better...
Flamehair: Are you sure you're not sneaking into my computer files at night? Seriously though, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
begonia: the same and differnet at the same time? maybe you're right, but I think the differences are the important thing here for the two of them.
roswell3053: Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. As for the walk, well only one way to find out :wink:
Ivlyfem: Thanks Lynne, sorry if it was a bit short, I did try and lengthen it but I didn't think of the way I could easily have done so until after I had posted and someone commented, so I had lengthened to a point and then could do no more. I've tried to make this one longer though. Hope you'll enjoy it.
Timelord31: Thanks for reading
Alien614: You're very welcome, thanks for reading.
Isabelle: Glad you liked the Isabel/Max, I was a bit nervous about that one. As for where Liz is going, not sure that she's aiming to speak to anyone right now. Funny how life works though isn't it? Hope it doesn't disappoint anyway.
Lazza: YAY I'm so pleased to hear you're still enjoying it. I know it's come a long way since the last time you were reading and I'm always worried at the moment it'll disappoint. Not much longer to read on this one though I promise!
Saavik60: Thanks for the bump, hope you're enjoying the story.
Ellie: I personally think that Isabel was a nice character, and she could have been a good friend - I wish we'd seen more scenes like the one with the nail varnish. Glad you approve of her anyway. As for where she's going, keep reading and you'll find out.

Okay, well I can't believe I'm saying this, but unless things change significantly, this is the penultimate chapter of this fic. There will be a prequel that I'll be starting to post soon, and I'm hoping to do a sequel eventually too, but for Love and Loss, this is very nearly the end. I hope you'll all enjoy the last few chapters and I hope to be back soon with the finale.

Thanks to everyone reading, I'd love to know what you think.

~Kat~


Chapter 57

With every yard she moved away from the room, Liz’s footsteps quickened and before long she was rattling down the steps into the lobby. She barely paused at all before continuing towards the main entrance and stepping out onto the dimly lit sidewalk just outside.

Breathing heavily, she finally collapsed against the wall to one side. The slim brunette rested her head against the cool bricks, inhaling and exhaling the cool night air slowly as she fought to catch her breath.

Thoughts raced through her mind at a mile a minute and a familiar figure rose in front of her eyes from the depths of her memory, the sight causing tears to well up in the corners of her eyes.

“I love you…” She breathed, the words slipping, without conscious effort, from her mouth as she thought about her late boyfriend.

“You, me and her together, a family…”

It was almost as though he was stood there with her once more. She smiled reminiscently as one of her fingers trailed over the outline of her lips and she recollected the touch of his against hers which had followed. Despite their age, it had been so tender yet deep and full of endless love and caring… It had been…perfect, speaking of the dreams they had shared, and promises they had made to one another…. Their future, the life they had planned together. It couldn’t have been said that things were ideal, far from it in fact, but together they had been determined to make it work.

“We’ll get through this Lizzy, I promise, I’m going to be right there beside you, always…” He closed his arms around her shoulders, pulling her into his side as she rested her head gratefully against his chest.

But that turned out to be a promise he couldn’t keep, Liz thought as she crossed over to the small grass verge in front of the motel between it and the main road, and sank onto the ground down, pulling her knees up under her chin as she remembered… It was a chilly night, with a fair breeze, but she didn’t notice the cold, or her hair being battered about as the memories continued to stream through her head and another scene surfaced now.

“…what is important is you and her, we have to get you out of here...”

Closing her eyes, she reached out, picturing him as he stood in front of her that day, tracing with a shaking finger a line which would have been his chin.

“Remember me…?”

His words seemed to echo loudly in her mind and she shuddered now, her eyes shooting open sharply as she remembered how the cave had shaken, little bits of rock and pebble falling in like a shower every few minutes with each blast. It had been getting worse towards the time when she had been sent away, and they both knew what would come next…

The sound of a truck thundering past on the otherwise deserted road coincided with another shudder of the cave in the memory and it was as though she was back there with him that day. She tensed, the vibrations causing her to wrap her arms around herself, trembling now as the scene continued to play in her mind and she recollected her own response.

"Always...I could never forget you..."

There had been no doubt in her mind as to her answer. She had promised him that without hesitation, never dreaming that anyone could come close to replacing him.

Yet, she couldn’t help questioning herself silently, was that what she was doing now? After admitting her feelings to Serina, there was a part of the teen that was scared…scared of letting him down, of betraying him, of letting him go, of forgetting… Because, as much as it hurt to remember at times, it would hurt even more not to and she didn’t want to forget what they had… Maybe their time together had been all too short, and they hadn’t been able to do half the things they would have liked, but she had loved him, and he had loved her and they had been through so much first as friends, and then as a couple… They had shared many wonderful times together as well as some not so great. They had been there for one another through times of both joy and happiness, sorrow and pain and, most importantly, together they had created a perfect baby girl. Their daughter, their child, a living, breathing being who was the embodiment of the love they had shared. He had been such a huge part of her life, and if given the chance she honestly wouldn’t change any of the choices she had made.

“What are you going to call her…?”

This time it was the question which had come from their friends as they stood gathered around the bed which echoed in her head and she was back in the hospital with the newly-born Emily in her arms. She had been so tired, and yet so happy. It was hard to imagine how anything could have spoilt that day. She had looked over at Max before uttering:

“Emily Diane Parker…”

She hugged her knees tightly, rocking back and forth in silence as the scenes continued to rush through her mind and she thought about the love of her life… How could she even consider letting someone taking his place…? She had promised him her heart, said she would always love him, and truth be told that hadn’t changed, she still loved him desperately and yet…

“My full name is Maxwell Philip Evans”

Her movements began to still as the memories shifted to more recent times and she remembered some of the conversations she and this current Max had shared over the last few weeks… There was something about him, something which just attracted her, and yet, as she slowly realised, it wasn’t because of the ways in which he was the same as her Max, but in the ways he was different…

And perhaps as she sat there in silence, it was in that moment that she realised the truth. Serina was right on both counts.

Max wouldn’t have wanted her to give up on life; far from it, he would have wanted her to live, and enjoy life, to make the most of any opportunities and to fulfil her dreams.

Neither did the fact that she might move on eventually mean that she was forgetting him… If she was honest, there was no doubt in her mind that would never happen… They had shared and been through too much together to ever forget him, and whatever happened, there would be a part of her heart which would always belong to him… He was her first love, the father of her child and nothing would ever change that.

And while she sat there, another thing became clear to her. She wasn’t simply replacing one Max with another, however much it might seem like that, because when she thought about it, she knew it would never be the same… In the same way as was true for her when compared to the Liz who had died in this reality, he was very different from the boy she had known, he--

A voice interrupted her thoughts “Liz…?”

Her head shot around and she turned in surprise, swallowing as she recognised who it was. “M-Max…hey…”

***

As Isabel slipped out of the room saying that she was going to see if Kyle was back from work yet, Max had sat on the bed for a few more moments, before deciding that he would get some air. He had figured that perhaps it would help him gather his thoughts and decide what to do, but what he hadn’t considered was the possibility of Liz being there…

Exiting the motel through the front entrance, he glanced around and froze as he caught sight of a familiar silhouette, her long brown locks dancing in the wind. His vision blurred with tears, forcing him to blink, and for a moment Max was uncertain if it was all a play of his imagination. Next, he considered simply backing away without alerting her to his presence, before dismissing this option and finally slowly moving forward as he spoke, to see if the figure really was who he thought.

“M-Max…hey…”

She sounded a little shaken, wary perhaps. He gave an apologetic look, realising he had probably taken her by surprise. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you…” He told her softly as he moved forward further and knelt on the grass to join her offering, “I just came out for a bit of air…”

Liz gave a slight nod of acknowledgement and acceptance. “Same…” She swallowed nervously, an action which didn’t escape his notice.

“Are you okay…?” The concern in his voice was almost palpable, and the look in his eyes reflected this. His immediate thought was to reach out, to brush a section of hair which hid her from him away from her face but he knew that might not be welcomed currrently and so decided against it. In that moment she seemed so delicate, so frail, so young, as though a single gust of wind could cause her to crumple…it broke his heart.

She looked up, meeting his gaze. “W-what, oh, yeah, I’m fine…” She assured him with an awkward smile. “I was just…thinking…remembering…” She shrugged and paused, her eyes glazing over for a moment before she blinked and refocused on him. “Sorry, guess I spaced on you again…” The brunette spoke once more, dark brown eyes full of apology.

Max nodded, but didn’t say anything at first and then, after hesitating a moment, he tried to start. “Liz, I-“

And at exactly the same time, she seemed to try and do the same. “Max, I w-

Both broke off, looking at one another. “You go first…” They said in union, and despite everything, both couldn’t help but give a small, genuine smile.

“You first…” Max repeated softly, gesturing towards her after another moment’s silence.

She nodded and swallowed, twisting her fingers nervously in her hands as she spoke, her head down, avoiding his gaze. “I just wanted to say sorry, for reacting as I did earlier, I shouldn’t have run off like that…” The young mother whispered from behind a curtain of shiny locks which had fallen over one side of her face.

Misreading her tone as one of forced civility, Max felt his heart drop as his hand fell to his side like a stone. He couldn’t tell her now… He closed his eyes momentarily, before trying to respond and salvage what he could. “It’s okay, I know why you did, and it’s completely understandable…I’m only sorry that it ever happened.” The comment came out without thinking, but as soon as it had he knew it wasn’t going to help any. Afterall, he was talking to a girl who had given birth to a child at fifteen, and she had made it perfectly clear she didn’t consider that to be a mistake. Besides, did he consider Xan to be a mistake – no… Inwardly, he pulled a face at his sudden inability to phrase things, and jumped to try and clarify his words, hoping desperately that she wouldn’t misunderstand as he continued quickly. “By that I don’t mean I wish Xan hadn’t been born…but I do wish it could have been different circumstances…”

Liz nodded silently, but she didn’t trust herself to respond. She knew he was trying of course, and she was incredibly grateful for that, but it was just…so difficult… Maybe she should have asked him more about the circumstances he alluded to, she acknowledged to herself, but right at this moment in time she wasn’t sure she was ready to hear the response…

Max pressed on. His mistake earlier had been to let it lie too readily, he realised, and he wasn’t going to repeat that. Even if he didn’t provide her with the full details, there were a few things she needed to know! If in the end she still hated him as he imagined she did now, well that was his luckout, but at least he had to try… “I always wished he could have been Liz’s…it still wouldn’t have been ideal of course, but-“ He broke off and sighed, running a hand through his hair as he searched for the words he needed, wracking his brain for what to say next. Why was it suddenly that his head seemed incapable of forming a coherent sentence? Finally, he looked back at her, eyes wide as he spoke in an emotional tone. “I made a huge mistake that night it happened…I turned my back on the girl I loved in the worst way possible and I’ll regret that much for the rest of my life…”

The brunette couldn’t help noting that he had made it blatantly clear that he didn’t mean her in that last, and she could feel her hope that something more might come of this fast slipping away… How could she even suggest it, knowing what he had been through, knowing how much he was still hurting, how much he loved and missed his wife. If anyone could come close to understanding, it would surely be her and she couldn’t ask him to set that to one side any more than she could herself; she realised.

Whatever their feelings, not that she had any reason to believe he bore her any other than friendship anyway, things were too complicated for it to go anywhere. There was too much…history… Too much baggage which they each bore and came so close to crossing over in parts. Even given time it would be difficult for either of them to be in another relationship anyway she was sure, never mind one with one another… Swallowing, she clenched her fists tightly at her side as she looked back at him now. “I’m sure that she knew that…” The teen assured him and then hesitated, a part wanting to ask what had happened to the child, and yet not daring to broach the obviously painful subject for fear of making things worse… Maybe she should let things lie as they were…?

“I had him adopted…” Max supplied immediately, almost as though reading her mind. As he had continued, with every word his voice had become increasingly strained, full of painful emotions and he spoke in little more than a whisper now as he went on. “When Tess came back, things became really dangerous and when, in the end, I was left with him, I realised I couldn’t give him the life he deserved… He was human, no powers at all and I needed to know he was safe I loved him so much, but I couldn’t keep him, it was the hardest thing I have ever done…”

As his voice trailed off and he lapsed into silence, Liz could see the traces of tears in his eyes. Her heart went out to him, to have to give away his son… Even as young as she and Max had been, as soon as she had seen Emily she had known she could never give her up. “Oh Max…I’m sorry…” She whispered, reaching out without thinking to squeeze his hand. How she hated to see him in this state… If only there was something she could do, or say…

The young man with her fought to maintain his composure, to hold back the flood of tears which could so easily break through his defences at any moment, nodding silent thanks as he sat there…thinking about the child he had been forced to give away.… There wasn’t a day he didn’t think about him, wonder what he was doing, and pray (even though he wasn’t religious) that he was alright. He knew he had done the right thing, the only thing under the circumstances, but still he wished there had been another way…

“Be true to your feelings…”

Liz heard Serina’s voice in her head and swallowed. She couldn’t say or do anything, not now, she just…couldn’t… Drawing in a ragged breath, she released her hold on his hand and rose, moving as though to leave.

The young man immediately got to his feet too and reached out as she turned her back on him. “Liz…”

She turned back round in surprise as he called, her expression guarded.

Max opened his mouth to address her, but no words came out. Suddenly all the thoughts in his head were jumbled and he didn’t know what to say…

Liz shook her head at his continued silence, forcing a weak smile for his benefit. “I-I should go…I left Emily with Serina but I really should be getting back in case she wakes up again…she gets upset if I’m not around you know…?” She murmured her excuse, again turning to head back into the motel.

“Liz please, don’t, I-“ He began but quickly broke off again, finding himself at a loss for words…

She looked over at him questioningly now with a strange, unreadable look in her eyes. A mixture of fear and sadness perhaps…? “You what Max…?” The only response she got was silence and when he still didn’t answer her, she turned and moved away once more, looking back momentarily over her shoulder to call back, “I’ll see you tomorrow…”

Faced with the prospect of her leaving and not daring to think twice for fear of backing out of it, the words he had been searching for finally tumbled from Max’s mouth, albeit not in the most eloquent way. “I think I’m falling for you…”
My fics:

Dreams and Reality
Reality Revealed
Family Connections
When Love and Loss Collide
When Friendship and Love Combine - New!
If Only...
The Important Thing
Home for Christmas
I Knew Him Before (PB fic)
Love Always...
The First Time Around - New!

User avatar
KatnotKath
Roswell Fanatic
Posts: 1130
Joined: Wed May 21, 2003 5:54 am
Location: UK
Contact:

Re: When Love & Loss Collide(M/L T/Mat) Ch57 09/06/08 AN 25/08

Postby KatnotKath » Tue Oct 07, 2008 2:57 pm

Hey everyone, thanks for the feedback :D

keepsmiling7 - well one of them had to be first...I hope this won't disappoint you.
begonia9508 - Thanks Eve, I'm only glad you continue to enjoy it. I'm not sure it's a case of passing over, but maybe moving past... Shall we see how they intend to do that?
Natalie36 - Well I certainly think that Liz has been given a lot to think about, but I think she might give Max more credit than that...
Ivlyfem - I'm glad you approve then and waitings over, hope it won't be a disappointment.
Adrianneleigh - It does seem to have been a teary story doesn't it? It was my first attempt at angst and I guess it suits lol. I'll let you judge on the ending, but at the moment I have no plans for an epilogue sorry...
behrluv32 - Thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying it and I hope you won't find my resolution here a let down.
Alien614 - Well isn't Max always sweet - in my fics anyway :wink:
Flamehair - Yes you, reminds me of my mum who can watch an episode of a crime or mystery type tv programme for about quarter of an hour and then tell you who's done what. Thanks for reading though, I'm really glad you've enjoyed the story and I'd like to thank you for sticking with me. Also, thanks for the well wishes regarding my Uncle, he's back home now and reported to be doing well so far so the signs are good :)
Emz80m - Thanks hun, hope you'll like the resolution too.
roswell3053 - LOL well they have to start somewhere don't they? As for Liz's reaction, read on and find out!
Timelord31 - Thanks, glad you enjoyed it
83 AlienAngel - Thanks, sorry for the delay, but here you go.
maxandlizforever - Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed it.
Saavik60 - Waitings over!

Well, I can hardly believe that I'm saying this, but here I am with the last part. I'm not sure it's exactly as I would have liked, but then I have a critical eye anyway and could continue editing it for another year I'm sure so I'm saying enough is enough.

Before I post though, I want to put out a big thanks to everyone who's left feedback on this story:

To_Kiss_A_Frog, Spidergirl, flyawayraven, ashleycutie, Stormwolfstone, taressa05, roswells_hope_lily, Isabelle, Angelic Vixen, Alice, WildSphinx, begonia9508, Cyn, Dani, Raychill, Ellie, rigel, behrlyliz, monkeycgm, Sweet Liz, LoveIsForever, OmegaRam1, Liz2Infinity, Sidney, Timelord31, behrstars, foxychar, Lazza, kittens, L-J-L 76, Flamehair, extingman, salcombe_girl, sonii, Emz80m, bluebballjumper, roswell3053, Alien614, Adrienneleigh, BETHANN, behrluv32, Erina, IzzyEvans2201_PuertoRico, Maya, ladyshal, fallenstar, kiwigirl, ultimatepickupline, AraxieHRH, Dreamweaver, polar vixen, 83 AlienAngel, PML, ceg, uw51, Natalie36, roswell4life, DreamerLaure, sam111, paper, mirae01, Flyaway Raven, dusk, thetvgeneral, keepsmiling7, Ivlyfem, Saavik60 and maxandlizforever

THANKS everyone!

I am being very serious when I say that this story wouldn't have come out the way it did without the continuous support you guys have shown me. I started this fic at a point when I was really struggling with my writing, and it helped bring me through that. Since then, my life has undergone some enormous changes, and things both good and bad have happened which I regret have regularly meant that I haven't been able to update as much as I might have liked recently. I am so sorry for that, for keeping you all waiting and keeping you hanging.

I have read and valued every bit of feedback I recieved though so thanks again. This story has been a journey to an extent, and I guess it's one that you guys have come along with me. I hope you enjoyed the ride :wink:.

Thanks also to anyone reading and a big hello to any lurkers out there, I hope you enjoyed the story.

So I guess this is the final time on this story that I get to say, I hope you all enjoy the new chapter and I'd love to hear what you think!

~Kat~


Chapter 58

“I think I’m falling for you…”

The statement caused Liz to stop dead in her tracks, stunned by the statement.

Max closed his eyes and counted to ten silently hoping desperately that he hadn’t just blown it. If he hadn’t been an atheist, he would probably have been praying too… Oh please don’t let her run…

Slowly, the young brunette turned to look back at him, her eyes wide in shock and more than a little confusion. “C-could you repeat that, w-what did you just say…?” She requested softly, a part of her wondering if she had imagined it… Surely it couldn’t have been real.

The man in front of her took a deep breath and swallowed. He looked over, staring her right in the eye, before slowly repeating softly, “I think I’m falling for you…I think I’m falling hard…” He wondered momentarily about rephrasing his comment, but when it came down to it, he had said what was needed and there could be no room for misunderstanding, it was better this way… Afterall, if she did misunderstand, he wasn’t at all sure he would be able to do this again…

There was no other way to put it, the girl with him was stunned and just didn’t know what to say… She stared dumbly at him without speaking.

Max stumbled along as he tried to explain. “I-I’ve been getting to know you Liz, and as I’ve discovered more about what a wonderful young woman you are, I guess my feelings have been growing into something far more than friendship…” He pushed ahead, knowing there was no backing out now. Maybe she would reject him flat out, but it would be out there in the open and there could be no turning back. “I know maybe people might think that I’m trying to make you into my wife who I lost, to tell the truth I’ve wondered myself but I’m not, honestly… You are and were, two unique women and I respect and recognise that… I need you to know though… I can’t deny how I feel any longer…I’ve been trying to fool myself into believing I just want to be friends, and it’s not working anymore… I-if that’s all you want to give that’s fine of course, it’s your choice to make, but I needed you to know the truth…” After this lengthly explanation, Max again lapsed into an awkward silence, waiting on tender hooks as he carefully watched her face for any sign of reaction to his words…

And at first, she gave none… Honestly, what was she supposed to say to that, how could she respond, what could she say…? She didn’t know, so she said nothing…

“Liz…” Max looked at her, almost scared by her lack of response. In his head he had gone over this, tried to work out what she might say, how she might respond. That of course assumed that she responded at all… Anything would be better than this he imagined, yelling, screaming, shouting, telling him he was crazy or even running away. He just needed to know how she felt…to know whether there was even the slightest chance of this working out…or whether it was pie in the sky… “I-I don’t want you to feel pressured, that wasn’t what I was trying to do, I ju-“

Silencing him as she raised a hand, Liz bit down on her lip, taking another deep breath as she struggled to gather her thoughts. There was so much she needed to say, and yet doing it was another matter. The words were all a muddle in her head and she had no idea where to start…

Finally however, she broke her silence. “W-when I first met you and the others, I ran… I ran away because it was too hard seeing you here and knowing you weren’t him…” She swallowed nervously as she broke for breath and then continued in little more than a whisper. “This evening though, I ran not because of who you weren’t, but who you were and because I was scared about how much I cared…”

Now it was Max’s turn to be silent as she pressed on. “W-when you told me about having had a child with Tess earlier, the reason I had to leave was that it hurt me. Mentally and physically, I felt a pain…here…” She placed a hand on her chest to demonstrate as she continued to speak in increasingly stilted tones. “…and that scared me… M-my heart felt as though it was being torn apart, because I felt like I was loosing you…” She paused again for a moment, fighting a tremble in her lip and then went on, “…yet, I asked myself, how could I loose you when I had never ‘had you’…? I knew I was being silly, and unfair, and yet it didn’t make it any easier…”

“Liz, I-“

The brunette shook her head, interrupting before he could get any further. “Please Max…let me finish…?” She swallowed and bit down on her lip again, knowing that if she didn’t do this now, she probably never would... It had taken every bit of strength inside to say this and she wasn’t sure she would be able to get to that point again. “And what I didn’t understand was that it wasn’t really the fact you had a child with Tess which upset me. That I could have understood, it would have made sense…” Shaking her head, she continued. “No, it wasn’t the fact that you had a child with her so much as who you hadn’t had the child with… I hate Tess, I’ll pull no punches about that! She destroyed my life, took my family away from me, she ruined everything, and from what’s been said she did the same here… But it wasn’t her being a part of this which was tearing me up, as much as the fact that the child you had wasn’t Liz’s…or even better, mine…”

Her words were followed by a dead silence, as both tried to get their heads around what was being said.

“I-I know that sounds stupid, and it’s wrong, and maybe it sounds like just some crazy notion which I came up with because I’m so tired…” Liz tried to speak again as she broke her silence .

“But it isn’t…is it…?” Max interrupted the rush of her words. He gave her a long look and paused a moment before speaking again. “L-Liz…I’m not saying this would be easy, and I’m not suggesting that we jump right in head first… But I care about you a lot, in something more than the way you do a friend, and I can’t deny that any longer… If you’re in agreement, I’d like to give this a go…give ‘us’ a go…” He gestured between the two of them hesitantly and then broke off, waiting to hear her response.

The young woman turned away from him for a moment, tears hanging from the corners of her eyes as she tried to work through the multitude of feelings running through her head at that moment in time. “I-I don’t want to forget him…” She spoke in a small voice, thinking of her late boyfriend for a moment… “C-could you deal with that, the fact that there was always a part of me that you would never have, that will always be his…?” She swallowed, trying to rid herself of the huge lump which had formed in her throat.

“Can you do the same?” He answered her question with one of his own as his heart thumped hard against his chest. He didn’t like to let himself get his hopes up but dare he actually believe that she was saying yes…? He forced himself to continue, speaking in soft, low voice so full of emotion as he too remembered… “I understand that we’ve both been through so much – far more than anyone our age would usually have done, and so many of those things, we’ve shared with the ones we love…the ones we’ve lost… I know that can’t be wiped away, and I’m not asking for it to be…” Max paused for a moment. “And nor am I expecting things to be the same as they were before any more than I would want them to be…” He looked at her again, his gaze locking onto hers as he spoke again now. “I think we could have something different, something special in its own way, but that’s up to you… So…?”

So…? Such a simple question, holding so much meaning… A one word answer, whichever she chose to give, would change so much… There would be no going back to what they used to have now she knew, no backtracking, no pretending…

Remember me…?

His words in the cave ran through her mind again, closely followed by Serina’s earlier statement.

“Do you honestly think that your Max would want you to remain a single mother for your whole life now… Do you honestly believe he would have wanted you to be alone”

She was right of course, he wouldn’t anymore than she would have asked him never to go out with anyone else if anything happened to her… And she wasn’t saying that she would never have another relationship, but still it seemed so soon…

“I’m not asking to replace him Liz…” Max added softly as he read the uncertainty in her expression.

“I-I know…” She nodded slowly at this, before looking back up and nodding again, more definitely this time as she met his gaze. “Y-yes… I-I mean yes, I-I want that too, to give ‘us’ a go…” She admitted softly after another brief hesitation, stopping momentarily before speaking again in a tone tender and sincere. “But I need for us to do this slowly…is that alright…?”

Max’s first impulse was to grin, but instead he scaled it back to allow himself a small smile and nodded. “Whatever you want…” He assured her quickly, willing to do whatever she needed. “You don’t even have to give me an answer now, if you want to think about it, that’s okay too…I honestly don’t mind, I just-”

His attempt to backpeddle caused a small smile to flicker on her face as she held up her hand again, pressing her finger against his lips to stop him. “N-no, I do want to try, I just need to take it slow though…one step at a time you know…?”

Removing her finger gently, Max nodded again. “Okay…no problem, you set the pace…” He promised as he held out a hand towards her, questioning hesitantly. “I know you said you should be getting back, but do you maybe want to take a bit of a walk…?” The last thing that he wanted to do was to be thought of as pushing though…

She looked up at him in surprise with a questioning gaze. “Together…?” He nodded and the brunette smiled as she took the hand he offered. “Yeah, that would be really nice…” She responded softly as they fell into step together.

***

A comfortable silence had fallen over the pair as they finally turned to head back. They had spoken at length about their feelings, discussed how they wanted to approach things, and now were simply enjoying one another’s company.

To many it might seem strange, but over the past few weeks, as they had gotten to know one another, the two had found themselves more and more comfortable in one another’s company and whilst they might have tried to deny it at first, they now had no need to…

Far from it in fact, their feelings were all out in the open and there was nothing left to hide…

Max glanced down at the joined hands between them and then looked back up at the brunette who walked next to him with a small smile. Was this really happening? He questioned himself. A part of him couldn’t really believe it, and yet…

“It’s real…isn’t it…?” Liz looked up and met his gaze to ask what they had both been thinking.

He smiled, nodded slowly and gave her a long look as he questioned in a serious manner. “Is that okay with you…?” Despite the fact that they had shared so much, and agreed to give it a go, Max felt that he had to check once more, after having given it a bit more time to sink in. Maybe she had changed her mind, maybe she would rethink her decision… He hoped that she hadn’t of course, but just needed to give her that opportunity of an out. It was only fair…

The young brunette responded with a small yet genuine smile. “Yeah…it’s fine…” She assured him softly. And she meant it… There might be a part of her who was still somewhat in disbelief, but for the first time since she had stood in the cave several months ago, she found that she was genuinely happy…

As Max had said, it wouldn’t be easy, and they wouldn’t jump right in because it wouldn’t be right for either of them… They both recognised that though, which was half the battle. They still had a lot to work through of course, but they would do that together, and that realisation made her smile.

It didn’t mean that she was forgetting him, or that he was forgetting her… That other Liz and Max would always be a part of them she was sure, and there would always be times when she knew she would find herself thinking about the young man who had meant so much to her…

They couldn’t stop living their lives though, they couldn’t give up on everything, not least because there were others that needed them… For Max there was Isabel and the others, and for Liz there was Emily of course. And now, they had one another too…

“You’re amazing…you know that, right…?”

Liz looked back up at Max, her cheeks flushing at his words. “I-I’m really not…I’m normal, average…nothing more…” She protested at his praise.

“Do you really believe that…?” For a moment, Max couldn’t believe it, and then, as he thought about it, he realised it was yet another way that she was like the woman he had lost… Ever the modest one, always playing down her achievements and ability… “You’re very far from average…” He responded softly, reaching for her other hand and turning it over, tracing lines in her palm with a finger. “You’re an amazing, loving, beautiful young woman who-“

“MAX!” She shook her head scolding him.

He shrugged innocently. “What…?”

“You’re making me sound like this wonder woman…and I’m really not…” She rebuffed his comments with another shake of her head.

Max wasn’t to be dissuaded though and continued. “You’re a wonderful mother, you were a good student, you’re kind and caring-“ He clearly meant every word.

Liz swallowed and looked down, shaking her head slowly once more as her tone took on a slightly desperate tone as she continued to plead with him. “Max, please don’t make me sound so amazing…everything I’ve done, I’ve done because I had to… When I found out I was going to have Emily, I was terrified, and there have been so many times when I’ve found it so hard…I ju-”

“But you did it…” Max interrupted and smiled in a reassuring manner as he looked down at her. “You are amazing Liz…whether you realise it or not, you are…” He nodded eagerly to punctuate his words then broke off and paused for a moment, tracing small circles on the back of her hand with his thumb as he stood in silence.

“I couldn’t have done it alone…” She whispered softly on the verge of tears.

He nodded in understanding, pulling her close into his embrace as he wrapped his arms around her small frame and looked down. “And you won’t have to…I’ll be here, for you, and Emily…I promise…we’re going to make this work…together…you, and me…” And with that, he dipped his head, and pressed his lips against hers briefly, in a gentle, tender kiss which she returned as the new couple stood there, together and happy, looking forward with optimism towards the future.



The Endfor now


I'll post in a short while with more infromation about the possibility of further stories in this series so watch this space :wink:
Last edited by KatnotKath on Tue Oct 07, 2008 5:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.
My fics:

Dreams and Reality
Reality Revealed
Family Connections
When Love and Loss Collide
When Friendship and Love Combine - New!
If Only...
The Important Thing
Home for Christmas
I Knew Him Before (PB fic)
Love Always...
The First Time Around - New!


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