Disclaimer: I do not own Roswell, the characters are not mine. Please don’t sue me.
Pairings/Couples/Category: CC/All
Rating: Teen
Summary: A different take on what could have happened in EOTW
A/N: Be warned before reading this fic deals with the death of a major character and has to do with suicide. Thanks to Sundae who was kind enough to beta for me.
Everyday that Max has given me since the day he healed me has been a gift. Without him my life would’ve been cut short, my dreams of going to Harvard and studying molecular biology would never be fulfilled, I never would have known what it was like to be loved by Max Evans, I never would’ve learned the truth that aliens do exist and that they lived right here in Roswell, New Mexico. I would’ve never believed in the existence of soul mates, after all it’s illogical really, and I have always considered myself to be a logical person.
Now I’ve been given proof that the day Max decided to heal me in the Crash Down, exposing not only him but Michael and Isabel as well, should’ve never happened. He should’ve left me to die. That day was the day I feel in love with him, maybe the day that his obsession with me turned into love. The truth is though, Max Evans’ love was never meant for me to take because of it I an now just in the way.
I’ve tried to make him fall out of love with me, to push him towards Tess. I’ve told him horrible things that killed me to say after all he’s done for me, but none of it has worked. Future Max is still here alive and kicking and wondering if he made a mistake that there is no saving the world. The truth is I know how to save it, Future Max didn’t go back far enough, he should’ve gone back to that day in the Crash Down, stopped the gun from ever firing in my direction, or maybe just stopped Max from healing me. I understand why he couldn’t though, and now I’ll have to do it myself.
Maria, if you’re reading this, which I have no doubt when you hear the news you will scour every inch of my room to find this journal, know that this is my last entry and I did what I did willingly, to save you, to save Alex and Kyle, Michael, Isabel, Tess, and of course Max, to save the world. I love you and I’ll try to watch over you all from where ever I end up. I need you to do me a favor though. I know you and Max became close this summer. I need you to keep him from living with my ghost and push Tess to be there to comfort him every step of the way.
Please know that I’m not doing this because I want to, but because I feel like I have no other option. It’s the only way. Max played God that day in the Crash Down and as much as I hate doing what I’m doing now it’s the only way to set things right. Goodbye, I love you.
Liz closed her journal and put it back in her hiding spot behind the loose brick in the wall. Maria would find it that much she was sure of. Walking back inside she went into her bathroom and drew herself a large bath making sure that their were lots of nice relaxing bubbles. Once inside she grabbed the razor she had stolen from a box cutter and proceeded to slit her wrists, glad she had sent Future Max away for the evening, because she knew deep down nothing would keep any version of Max from saving her again.
*****
Alex patted Maria on the back letting her sob into his shoulder. Maria had shown him the journal entry and it was taking everything in him not to punch Max for causing Liz that much pain. He wished that Max had never saved Liz’s life that day. It would’ve been easier to lose her in a more natural way than the knowledge that she had taken her own life. Not that he regretted any of the time he had spent with Liz after Max had healed her, he didn’t regret a second, but he hated the pain Maria was going through having found her suicide note, and the pain that her parents were going through thinking there was warning signs that they had somehow missed.He looked over at Michael standing across the casket from them, starring at Maria and he couldn’t help but wonder if Michael would be the death of her too, if he was destined to lose both his girls to the alien abyss, if he was destined to become lost in it as well. He chanced a glance over at Isabel, trying so hard to keep it together, as she held a sobbing Max in her arms whispering words of comfort into his ear. He wanted nothing else in the world but to steal Maria away after this and go somewhere no one could find them, where no one had ever heard the word alien and maybe drag Kyle along with them.
He took a deep breath trying to hold his own sobs back knowing it was pointless. Even if he could get Kyle to agree with him, he knew he’d never get Maria to give up on Michael, and no matter how much Michael was trying to keep his distance, it would only be a matter of time before he found them, and if he was being completely honest with himself he would never be able to leave Isabel. All of them including Liz were lost in the alien abyss now, he could only hope that Liz would be the only causality.
