Beautiful Disaster (CC,M/L,Adult) ~complete~ 5/15/11

[jake17]

This amazing banner was created by dreamer19, kristin, thank you so much sweetie, its perfect!







Title: Beautiful Disaster
Author: jake17
Couple: M/L
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: I own nothing Roswell
Summary: This takes off directly from the middle of the episode “It’s too late and it’s too bad” right after Max leaves Isabel at the school after he tells her she is not allowed to go away to the college she wants, because it isn't safe. He is driving down the road when he sees Liz sitting on the fence waiting for a cab to take her to the airport so she can fly to Sweden in hopes of finding out who killed Alex.
If I explain what the story is about I'll give away too much. Let's just say It takes a drastic turn from the original episode. showing you another version of what could've happened when Max "Wakes up"
Authors note: The views of the characters are just my little opinion, I know this part of Roswell is a touchy subject with a lot of people, I'd love to hear what you have to say.
I will be using lines from “It’s too late and it’s too bad”

This story is a gift written for a very special friend of mine who means a great deal to me. Years ago she told me about this song, "Beautiful Disaster" She said the lyrics reminded her of Max and Liz's feeings towards him. After reading the words it brought tears to my eyes, to me it's definitely them, I've been thinking of how to write a story around it ever since. A couple of nights ago I had a dream, this story is that dream. This is for you my seashell and for all those dreamers out there who found this episode not only hard to watch but very painful. Happy Birthday Angie

Song: “Beautiful Disaster” By Kelly Clarkson














"Beautiful Disaster"

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right

Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him?
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long

He’s soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still he's more than I can take

Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He’s beautiful
such a beautiful disaster


Beautiful
Beautiful disaster
Beautiful disaster







Chapter 1.






Driving in despair aimlessly down the highway Max gripped the steering wheel racked with uncertainty unable to shake the feeling that everything he was trying so hard to hold onto was crumbling at his feet.

Fresh in his mind as they stood in the high school hallway were the scornful harsh biting words of his sister telling him how Isabel Evans was dead.

He would never forget the hateful glare in her eyes as he threatened her hoping it would be enough to keep her from moving away to the college she dreamed of going to in San Francisco.

He tried to compromise but to no avail, she wanted what she wanted and that was the end of it.

He had no choice but to say things that either of them would ever forget.

~~~~~~~~

If you go I will physically drag you back.

I’ll tell our parents you have a drug problem

I’ll tell your teachers that you’ve cheated on every test for the past two years.

~~~~~~~~~

His love …his need to protect her under any circumstances no matter what the sacrifice out weighed the pain of crushing her dreams of the future and possibly their relationship.

In his mind it was his responsibility that she even had a future and if that meant that she hated him now…well that was a price he was willing to pay.

Isabel my answer is …no.

His heart sank as she glared with venom in her hurtful eyes holding her college application high in the air for everyone to see as it burst into flames while grey ashes drifted down from her fingertips.

You want to be king, see what its like with no followers.

“King.” He breathed out scornfully, that title was a burden he would gladly give away if he could.

Slamming his fist on the dashboard in frustration he felt so lost, so confused.

It wasn’t just Isabel that he felt slipping away, as time went on he began to feel separated from everyone.

Michael’s words in the park the night before haunted him as his stomach twisted in knots.

He couldn't believe after everything Michael felt that he now belonged in Roswell.

Max was finally beginning to feel some kind of connection to something and now he would be alone in this too.

Shaking his head he couldn’t help but wonder if the memories he was beginning to feel with Tess were just a way of escaping from the pain that never seemed to leave him.

Never did he ever imagine that things would be so distant and cold with Liz.

It had been months since he walked in on Kyle and Liz and still …still he couldn’t accept or even believe…

“Fuck!”

Bile rose in his throat as he struggled to push down the memory …it was clear to him that night would stay with him forever.

His foot pressed down hard on the accelerator as the intense self imposed pressure pulsed vigorously relentlessly in his head.

The constant battle between his heart and his mind was becoming too much to take.

It was all slipping through his fingers.

And then he saw her…

Still even now she could make his stomach rumble and his heart race.

His pained eyes focused on her as everything around her just faded away.

He wondered if he would ever be free …if the ache in his gut would ever cease.

Taking a deep breath he squeezed his eyes shut for a second to gather himself.

With the sinking orange glow of the sun illuminating her she was breathtaking.

Sitting on a white fence in the far distance her long silky dark hair danced around her on the wind calming him …soothing his broken spirit.

That was until he spotted something large by her feet.

As he got closer he saw her luggage and a duffle bag.

He knew immediately what she was planning on doing.

Once again he felt his world crashing down around him.

First it was the endless questions with the police, then her continually attempting to contact the host family in Sweden …then worst of all calling the Swedish Embassy again and again.

Over and over she had put them in the spotlight, placing them in dangerous situations making them appear suspicious. Asking questions that could get them all killed or worse.

This time there would be no discussion or polite compromise.

There was no way he was going to let this happen.

Enough was enough


….


Sitting on the narrow fence waiting for the taxi to take her to the airport Liz sighed wearily as she once again obsessively went over the details of Alex’s death in her head.

Her tireless journey to discover the truth had left her physically and emotionally drained but oddly more determined to find his killer than ever.

Peering up over the mountainside she watched as the sunset lit up the horizon making everything seem so hopeful… so full of possibilities.

At least that’s what she would’ve thought before…. when she was still the smallest of small town girl’s, with no secrets to hide or fear to keep her up at night.

Before leaving normal…

Now she really understood what it meant to leave the world you knew behind.

How you can never go back…

Tucking her long dark tresses behind her ears she sat up tall and took a deep breath.

Stepping into the unknown had its consequences… she felt the weight of those choices heavy on her shoulders as she sat there alone in the desert.

And although she was physically alone somehow she felt as though he was there with her.

Giving her the strength to fight …to never give up until she discovered the truth.

With a breathless whisper she spoke out into the misty twilight “Help me Alex.”

Raising her face to catch the cool breeze before darkness envoloped her, she thought back to the poem she found in his room.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep

She made a promise to Alex that day and nothing would stop her…nothing.


`````


His eyes darkened with rage as his heart pumped fire through his veins.

How could she be so selfish …how could she possibly think she could get away with this.

Jerking the steering wheel hard to the left the jeep bounced roughly over the median veering inches from her.

Sighing in frustration but clearly calm Liz averted her eyes away from him and slid off the fence.

Slamming the door Max charged towards her breathlessly shaking with resentment and anger.

His voice was deep and intense as he glared down at her holding onto what little control he had left.

“Where are you going?”

Undeterred she reached for her bags and stared brazenly unshaken up into his fierce golden eyes.

“Sweden.”

[jake17]

maipigen
vanessa
roswell4life
Ginger
Natalie
emzyjayne
caroyln
dreamerfiend
Eve
Monica
Ellie
jojotheorange
steguh
dreambeliever


omg ...can i just say...wow at all this amazing feedback! The only problem is now I am completely petrified that I'm not going to live up to your expectations

Ok I have to tell you all, if what I wrote is not all that clear, don't worry, it's meant to be that way. The explanations are going to come in the next update. It's the emotion I want you to get caught up in now...hopefully...

Seriously thank you for all your sweet as hell replies, they mean so much to me!!







Chapter 2.






Sweden

The word repeated continuously in his mind as he quickly grasped the ramifications of what she was about to do.

His mind spun sharply making him dizzy, the world seemed to go dark, the tight grip he had on everyone and everything was gone.

He was reaching out in his mind grasping at nothing.

Who was this girl he thought to himself, where was the sweet rational logical Liz that he loved with all his heart...

Where did it all go wrong?

Her absence that lasted the entire summer, sleeping with Kyle, her insistence that he become closer with Tess then her coldness when he finally did.

And if it wasn’t bad enough putting the blame of Alex’s death on them, fighting him every step on this investigation into his suicide, constantly ignoring his orders putting them all at risk and now this?

Thrown by her utter lack of judgment and disregard for their safety he stood in disbelief staring at her callous averted eyes that glared at the grass by her feet.

This wasn’t happening …he could not under any circumstances let her go.

“Are you kiddin’ me? Get in the car!”

Astounded by his seemly total lack of influence over her he desperately grasped at straws blindly searching for any course of action even if it meant resorting to giving her an order.

With an unsettling air of calmness and resolve Liz didn’t move a muscle as Max nervously paced back and forth.

“No.”

Think Max think…there has to be a way…

“What did you tell your parents?”

A heavy feeling of disappointment and sorrow filled her as she watched him scrambling for control.

Couldn’t he see that she had grown, that his problems, his priorities no longer came first in her life, that this was bigger than then the both of them, bigger that the aliens he was trying so desperately to protect.

She knew in her gut, her mind, her soul that she had to do this, whether he meant it or not he drew a line in the sand the day of Alex’s wake.

Even though she protected their secret, risked her life and the threat of jail she was no longer a part of them and whether he was aware of it or not he was responsible for making her feel that way.

“I’m gonna call them from the airport. I’m gonna tell them my girlfriend from Florida had a crisis and needed me.”

Obviously panicking Max thought about her plan feeling his time running out as the cab pulled up next to them.

“They’ll call your Aunt. Your Aunt will say you’re not there.”

Her cool monotone voice remained completely unaffected by his scrambling missteps.

“Well then I’ll think of something else.”

He couldn’t believe her composure, there was no fear, no apprehension, only a bold determination, a confidence that surrounded her making her strong as steel, impervious to his bullying.

Max could feel his world physically falling apart.

She was the last piece of the puzzle that no longer fit.

Where would he go now …who was he if not a part of them…if he no longer had this hold …this responsibility.

Rolling down the window the burly gruff cabbie yelled towards her.

“You, the airport?”

Stoic and strong Liz slid off the fence and reached for her bags.

Standing between her and the cab Max lost all rational thought as he hopelessly watched the last of his world slip through his fingers

“No!!” He barked at the driver angrily feeling completely rocked by how little influence he was having on her.

“Actually, I am. You’re late.”

Lifting her heavy bags in each hand she walked towards the door of the cab.

Frantic his emotions that he was so well known for keeping close to his chest poured from him as he stepped in her way coming within inches of her flushed angered face.

Breathing her in he held her arm searching for that connection, hoping that some kind of link to the past to what they once had would reach her but she coldly averted her eyes.

He swallowed hard as her soft long hair brushed against his shoulder.

Memories of the way they were, the pain that lived relentlessly inside his heart everyday since she gave herself to Kyle rushed threw him with brutal agony.

Struggling to keep his personal heart ache out of this he growled against clenched teeth as his fingers dug into her arm.

Merciless flashes of the past infiltrated his mind with fleeting passionate kisses and fiery caresses.

Intense embraces that stranded his control to make love to her ravaged his faltering sanity.

“Liz don’t get in that cab.”

Glaring back at him with a stern look of new self-reliance that left him completely staggered she ordered the cabbie. “Load it up.”

Refusing to accept the control that was slipping away Max vehemently grabbed her bags and threw them in his jeep.

“Liz get in my car!”

Incredulously she shook her head. “What are you gonna do ? Throw me in it?”

Deepening his voice his heated tone roared blatantly expressing his lack of tolerance at her total disregard for his demands.

“You have to listen to me!”

Hoping to intimidate her his disrespect only added to her unwavering strength.

Scoffing at his domineering pitch she opened the cab door and rolled her eyes solidifying her stance that he no longer had this pull on her … he made his choice.

“Don’t even pull that king card on me, Max!”

Pushing him aside she gabbed her bags and threw them in the back of the taxi breathlessly furious at just how much he had changed.

“I’m not Isabel you can’t boss me around!”

Blindsided by her harsh words his eyes widened.

“If this is about being pissed at me, fine punish me all you want.”

She began to shake as she held back her rage, to think that he was so far removed from the reality of what was happening, so obsessed about himself and the others that Alex’s murder meant nothing,..

There were no words for how lost he had become.

“But what about everyone else? What you’re doing puts them at risk. “

Gripping the window that was half way rolled down an enraged Liz glared up at him her stomach sick by his tunnel vision and selfishness.

“What I’m doing may save their lives!”

His voice trembling as his temper fired up to a level she had rarely seen.

“You have a responsibility to Isabel, Tess, and Michael not to get in that cab!”

Breathing out in complete and utter wonder at the cold heartless person he had become it was almost hard to look at him.

Why the hell was she the only one who cared! Pointing towards him she raised her voice fuming at his total lack of compassion.

“Uh huh, well I have a responsibility to Alex to find out what really happened.”

Wavering on the choice of words he was about to say knowing the full weight they held he took a deep breath believing in his heart that this would finally make her back down, he spoke poignantly making it as believable as possible.

“Liz, if you go, our friendship is over.”

Blown away that he would stoop that low she shook her head knowing that she had truly lost him.

Sickened by his weak pathetic threat she challenged him right back refusing to fold.

She had given enough… maybe it was time to let him go.

“I guess that’s the price I have to pay.”

Getting in the cab she slammed the door alone in her fight and feeling stronger than ever.

“Somebody killed Alex and covered up his death! Why don’t you see that Max?”

Seeing nothing but the shell of the boy he used to be looking back at her she leaned back in her seat before firing two words at him that would ultimately change everything.

“Wake up!”

Standing helpless and broken he watched as she faded away over the hillside.

He had never felt more alone in his life.

Driving with no destination in mind he was surprised when he found himself back at the observatory.

Looking up at the star lit sky he sighed in despair.

“Banards Star.” He whispered aloud as something caught his eye.

Straining to see in the darkness a small figure came into view. Her blonde curls reflected the light from the moon as she sat awkwardly on the curb holding her temples.

A familiar scene played out before him as he stood in the shadows remembering the last time she just happened to be there when he was at his worst.

Looking up at the huge telescope he recalled her words.

“You can see that star from our planet too Max…. that is reality …this is the dream…”

“This is the dream…” he breathed out the words just as she spotted him.

Walking quickly up to him she slowly placed her hand in his innocently gazing up towards him.

“Are you ok?”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Halting as the wind whipped her hair around Liz pulled her ringing phone from her pocket just as she was approaching the plane.

“Miss Parker this is Mr. Stockman from the Embassy, we found your building. There’s just one curiosity. That structure was torn down in 1994 – “

Gripping the picture of Alex in her hand the connection ripped through her body weakening her to her very soul.

“Alex was never in Sweden.”

The strength that had driven her this far slipped quickly from her exhausted body as all hope of finding out the truth faded away.

Tears that were held back for so long stung her eyes as she began to sway.

Hopelessness and the stark revelation that she was truly alone crushed her pulling her down to her knees.

I’m so sorry Alex

The promise she made clenched her heart, her mind was too tired to think any longer, her eyes glazed over as the red and blue lights flashed from the landing strip.

She attempted to form the word 'help' but it was too late as everything began to fade to black.

Just as she was about to hit the hard black tar a pair of strong arms caught her and lifted her up.

Sounds from far away flickered inside her head as she started to feel the pain coming from her bruised knees.

Unable to open her heavy eyelids she rested her head against the warmth of the stranger that held her so gently.

Gasping harshly she realized what was happening and wrenched her head up to see just who had their hands on her.

Warm apologetic sensitive brandy colored eyes peered down at her, it was so reminiscent of a time so long ago she convinced herself she was dreaming.

“Max?”

Her hoarse voice broke as he carefully pulled her in closer cradling her body lovingly close to his.

“Shh, rest now, we’ll talk I promise.”

Fighting the need to sleep she shook her head demanding an explanation.

“But, you…why are you here?”

Pressing his lips to her cheek he whispered as he breathed her in.

“I woke up.”

[jake17]

Ellie
emzyjayne
jojotheorange
roswell4life
caroyln
maipigen
PML
Vanessa
Ginger
Lizza
Eve
Stefuh
darkmoon
XAFRU 208
dreamerfiend
Jan
rosy
angelina
Cocogurl

ok so now i'm seriously crossing my fingers that you all like this wow never did I expect this reaction, but I am so grateful for all your incredible fb! thank you so much, it means so much to me!

Ok I know what you're all expecting but I just couldn't make it easy, not after everything. So hold on it's going to be a bumpy ride, don't worry though it's all going to be ok, this is definitely dreamer insured






Chapter 3









Intermittently Liz opened her eyes watching silently as the streetlights blurred past her in a flurry of bright streaming flashes.

Too tired to question his presence she curled into a ball against the door of his rugged jeep.

Her need to be home back in her bed took precedence over the shock of his surprise appearance at the airport.

Max still was in a haze as he pictured Tess looking up at him with understanding and total acceptance.

"I'll be here for an eternity."

Suddenly remembering all the times she so conveniently positioned herself in exactly the right place at exactly the perfect time ...when he needed someone the most.

When he needed someone to need him.

Staring down into her icy blue eyes he heard the echo, that voice of the one person who was always there for him, who risked everything to help him, to protect him.

"Wake up"

Tess' loving gaze soon turned into a scornful glare as he released her hand and backed away.

"How long?"

The slight tilt of her head and a suspicious gleam of her eye changed her entire demeanor as she raised one corner of her mouth in a defensive grin.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about."

"How long!"

White knuckles squeezed the steering wheel as his jaw clenched with disgust, hatred for himself for being so stupid, for bending to her will, for being so weak.

Accusatory remarks flew off of her as if she were swatting away flies, emotionally unaware or worse void of caring as she refused to accept the damaged she had done.

"Being who you are it wouldn't have worked if you weren't so needy, so pathetic, searching for anything to fill the hole left by her. Honestly Max, you only have yourself to blame."

Endless streams of memories, of hurtful words, heartless cold ways that he treated Liz flew through his head tearing at his sanity.

"It was so easy Max...too easy. I almost wondered if I had to use my powers at all, if my sheer attention would've swayed you into doing whatever I pleased."

Looking down at her trust ripped away, betrayal flaming every nerve ending he just wanted one answer.

"Why?"

The question hung in the air left unanswered as she drove away still carved at his soul in lonely desperation.

Too distraught to go after her too stunned to even move it seemed as though he was there for hours.

It was only when he imagined her getting on that plane alone, walking into god knows what that he ran to his jeep hoping that he would get to her in time.

He couldn't help but steal quick gazes over at Liz as she slept, there was no peace in her beautiful face no rest in her tense muscles.

How much of this was his fault he wondered, how much was he to blame for her solitude during this past year.

Holding his hand over her silky locks he pulled back knowing he didn't deserve to touch her, he wasn't worthy of a girl brave enough to fight against everyone for the truth...against him.

What must she think of him now...now that he abandoned her leaving her to suffer in the pain and loss of her friend, through the hardest time of her life.

He felt like such a coward, when he was caving letting himself be controlled just to feel… she was alone.

She fought alone.

Turning onto her street he struggled with what exactly he would say to her, how could he possibly explain?

Would it ever be enough?

His chest felt tighter as the pressure grew, soon she would be looking up at him with those bold dark eyes demanding the truth, holding him to nothing less.

Falling in and out of consciousness Liz was startled when she heard the metal sound of the door shut beside her.

Stretching her achy muscles she reached for the handle just as it slipped from her hand.

Holding the door open he bent down to pick her up in his arms once again.

Groggy and uncertain of his agenda she waved him away.

“I’m fine, I can walk on my own.”

His unexplained presence wasn’t enough to erase the still raw memory of the words he spoke so vehemently to her just hours before.

His tone was indiscernible; it was obvious something had happened, something that had spun him around, making him humble and dazed at the same time.

“Liz your knees are bleeding, I’m not sure if you’ve broken anything. Please just let me help you inside.”

Looking down at her ripped jeans her eyes widened as she reached down and felt warm wet blood on her fingers.

Feeling woozy again she nodded broodingly hating the fact that she needed him.

With her parents away for the weekend and Maria barely speaking to her she had little choice but to give in and that infuriated her more than anything.

As he bent down he wrapped one arm around her back and the other under her thighs making sure not to cause her any undo pain.

The closeness as he pressed her to his chest brought an uncomfortable tension between them both.

Fire and ice, pain and pleasure ...it was heart wrenching to feel both emotions so intensely.

“Can you put your arms around my neck? I don’t want to risk you passing out and falling again.”

Sighing deeply she obeyed. “This is ridiculous, I’m fine.”

Shoving the door shut with his foot he walked briskly to her door still seeming as if he was in a state of shock.

“Humor me.”

Closing her eyes she couldn’t help but respond to his sweet breath as he leaned down to speak to her.

Why couldn’t she shake this spell he seemed to have over her. How could it be after everything her heart still raced at his touch and the sound of his voice?

Her body tensed hating the illogical chemical reaction she seemed to have no power over.

Once inside he carefully laid her on her bed and turned his back.

“What are you doing?”

Shoving his hands in his pockets he peered behind him taking note of her agitated expression.

“I’m turning my back to give you privacy.”

Crossing her arms in front of her she rested her exhausted head against her pillow.

“Privacy for what exactly?”

Looking towards her seemingly lost in a world of his own he blankly whispered to her.

“You need to take off your jeans, I have to check your knees.”

Running her hands through her long hair she took off her stripped shirt leaving her black tank top feeling suddenly very warm.

“You know what, I’m tired and I could care less about my knees at this point. I would however be interested to know what you were doing at the airport.”

Frustrated he turned and walked towards her reaching for the scissors on her desk.

“If you want I can cut them off or do you want to explain how your knees became so badly injured to a pair of already concerned over protective parents?”

Glaring back at him she fumbled with the button on her jeans. “Fine, but I want an explanation and I want it now.”

Kicking off her sneakers she pulled off her jeans not caring that he was inches from her, she figured he’d seen more of her at the beach anyway.

Wincing when the rough fabric reached her broken skin he rushed to her side.

“Here let me help.”

Too worn out to argue she watched him critically as he gently lifted the torn jeans up and over her knees slipping them off completely.

Angling her light to shine on her bloody wounds he sat on her bed carefully lifting her legs to place them on his lap.

“Ouch!”

Whispering he ran the back of his hand across her cheek sincerely concerned for her.

“I’m sorry, hold on, you’ll feel better soon.”

With a kindness that was so reminiscent of that faithful day she couldn’t help but feel the pain of just how much she had lost.

Covering his eyes he took several breaths trying to collect his scrambled thoughts so he could focus.

Laying back she stared up at her ceiling fuming crossing her arms in front of her.

“I can’t believe you actually went there. Did the aliens have an emergency meeting? Must stop the human at any cost. What, were you going to have Tess mindwarp me into believing that all the planes were grounded or something?”

Suddenly he opened his eyes and aggressively grabbed her by the shoulders.

It was more than obvious that something she said struck a nerve.

His voice was full of pain and regret further mystifying her as to why he was here.

“Please, just let me do this. After you can ask me anything you want but I can’t …I have to concentrate.”

Looking into his eyes she remembered the same worried remorseful gaze she had woken up to at the airport.

“Ok, sorry. Go ahead.”

After a few seconds he placed his hands on her and breathed out softly.

Soon a rush of warmth flowed across her skin and down her legs.

Still feeling his hands but no pain she opened her eyes shocked to find him standing in the corner of her room staring sadly out the window.

“It was nothing serious, some tissue damage, but you would’ve been badly bruised and sore for a while. You’re ok now.”

Lifting her legs she bent them a few times before walking to her dresser to retrieve a pair of grey sweat pants.

“Thank you.”

Lost in thought Max continued to stare up at the sky.

Sitting back on her bed Liz fixed her lamp and bent her knees to her chest watching him curiously.

“Max? Were you there to stop me?”

Briefly glancing in her direction he shook his head ‘no’ before returning to the place in the heavens as if getting back to his last deliberation.

“Well then why?”

Reaching up he began to peel at the warped white paint of her window frame not certain of what he should say.

“I-I’m not sure …to help you …to make sure you were alright I guess.”

Shaking her head in confusion Liz furrowed her eyebrows. “But I thought we weren’t friends anymore.”

Lowering his head he closed his eyes bracing as his words were thrown back at him.

“I could never…I didn’t mean it.”

Raising her hands up in the air her eyes filled with angry tears.

“That’s it? You didn’t mean it?”

Tucking her hair behind her ears Liz wiped a fallen tear that slipped down her cheek.

“Not good enough Max… not nearly good enough.”

His voice broke as strong emotions came flooding up to the surface.

“I know, its just, I’m only beginning to understand it myself. What she did …”

Hiding her face incensed by the fact that she was driven to tears Liz stood turning her back to him.

“Tess, you went to see her didn’t you?”

Putting his back to the wall he leaned over resting his weight on his knees as he worked hard to sort out what was real and what wasn’t.

“Yes…well no, not exactly – “

Sobbing from sheer exhaustion Liz placed her hands on the wall resting her forehead as her hair hid her flushed face.

“I can’t believe it! Here I am thinking this is between us, that I’m finally going to get an explanation for the way you’ve been treating me and we’re back to her again!”

Gritting his teeth he rubbed his forehead in frustration feeling that everyone was against him.

“Liz, she mindwarped me. I’m trying to put it all together, I’m doing my best to sort out what she made me feel and…what I actually...”

His voice trailed off as he realized what he was saying.

“And what Max? What you really feel about me? Are you saying this is all her fault? Or is just some of it her fault… hmm maybe the threatening part... the 'get in the car' line or the ‘our friendship is over’ – “

“Liz stop!”

He felt as if he was being ripped in half, the words of Nasedo and Michael echoed torturously inside his head.

Don’t confuse what you want to be true with what really is true.

“Please, please Liz …I need your help. I don’t understand anything. The only thing I know that’s real is what’s in my heart. It’s you…it’s always been you.”

Max raised his head up watching as she turned around and slid down the wall pulling her knees towards her chest.

“I can’t do this anymore! I tried Max; I did what you told me I had to do. I pushed you away to save them. And you, you just believed, how could you think I could … and now Alex is dead and whoever did it is still out there. I’ve lost everyone and for what? For nothing, it was all for nothing!”

Taking a big gulp of much needed air Liz moved her hands across her cheeks to wipe her tears startled to find Max kneeling down in front of her.

“Liz, what the hell are you talking about? What did I ask you to do?”

Biting her lip she closed her eyes not even realizing what she had said.

"Liz please answer me, what did I think you did?"

Raising his voice he stunned her forcing her eyes open.

“What did I believe? Is this about Kyle?”

Lost as to what to say and too drained to even try to think of a lie she stared down at the floor.

Sitting back Max leaned against her bed doing his best to steady his rapid heart.

Tears of his own welled against the blaze of his golden eyes as his breathless raspy voice lowered to barely a whisper.

“You never slept with Kyle.”

[jake17]

Eve
Ellie
angelina
caroyln
stefuh
ginger
twinflame
natalie
jojotheorange
dreambeliever
rosyrosy2882
maigpigen
roswell4life
saini87
zaneri1
Iheartmax
L-J-L76
dreamerfiend x2
Hunter
cupcake_55



Sorry for the long wait, my little girl had surgery last week so you can imagine it's been just hell, i've been staring at her every second making sure she's ok so my writing has been on hold. A huge thank you for all this amazing wonderful fb, you're all so sweet to me and I definitely need that right now because my life is seriously not being nice to me.

PLease excuse all the grammer mistakes I didn't have very long to write this, my daughter can't walk on her won right now so I've been running constantly at all hours trying to help her. Not that i"m complaining because I'd walk through fire for her if I had to, ok I'm going to stop rambling. sleep depervation is a bitch!

Happy birthday to my childhood friend Irene, who is off with her wonderful husband on a romantic trip he planned for her. You deserve the wonderful happy life you have sweetie. love you to bits

IN case you have forgotten Max just realized that she didn't sleep with Kyle










Chapter 4.








Max was physically paralyzed as the truth washed over him in destructive harsh waves of rippling unfathomable emotions.

Staring at her with such intense astonishment a deep sense of relief followed filling his frail heart as he gazed with a blurry haze at the girl he had loved since he was a boy.

Falling against the wall his shaky legs were unable to keep him steady as he closed his eyes trying hard to catch his breath.

Although she was within inches of him her quiet sobs seemed miles away lost in another time, her sorrow was a mystery to him, all he could concentrate on was one undisputed fact…

They had not slept together

Deep down he never came to terms with it completely; his heart refused to believe … no matter how many times he asked and how many times she answered with the same reply it remained an untruth, a lie that he would never accept.

Now finally knowing what he had always felt in his heart to be without doubt or uncertainty that he was right all along was beyond words.

It was indescribable

For that brief moment an euphoric instant in time he held what was so precious to him in his heart once again.

He wondered momentarily if this was really happening or if it was another twisted game meant to toy with his mind like a puppet dancing on strings controlled by Tess.

Paranoid he glanced outside her window making sure the wicked blonde intruder that invaded his mind was nowhere in sight.

Could he trust the authenticity of words any longer since it all seemed to be a means to an end, an elaborate scheme who’s goal was still unknown to him.

Gazing down at Liz he watched as she cradled herself in her arms searching for comfort, an act at one time that was reserved for him was now up to her and her alone.

Trying hard to hold back the damn of feelings that were bursting at the seams within him he calmly rested his hand on her back.

“Liz please, explain to me… why did you do this.”

Flinching quickly as if it were an instinct she moved out of reach of his gentle hand and bent her head over her knees rocking back and forth further confusing Max as to why she had fabricated such a lie.

Looking at her she seemed so different, the sweet innocent girl with the wide expressive dark eyes that looked up at him with such wonder and acceptance was replaced with pain deceit and worse of all regret.

None of this made sense, the lies, the change in her personality the defiance the anger.

He knew the damage he had caused but this began before, before the pain he put her through.

Why …why did she do it.

Maybe it wasn’t her, not completely, maybe someone put her up to it, mindwarped her.

There had to be a reason her warmth, her bright trusting eyes her faithful loving spirit, no one changes over night …not unless their stripped of everything they are.

It all made sense now.

Tess…

Falling beside her to his knees he guided her face with his hands to look at him.

“I know, I know what happened, and I know why you’re afraid to tell me.”

Lowering her weary eyes to the ground she rested her tired face in his hands wishing she could just crawl into bed and pull the covers over her head and sleep.

Her raspy voice slurred from exhaustion as she sighed pulling herself up using his strength to sit on the bed.

“Max trust me, you don’t know, whatever you think it is you’re wrong. Now can I just get some sleep?”

With his patience weary he unknowingly raised his voice demanding an answer.

“NO! You can't just, I-I have to know. Why did you do this!”

He was meant once again with an eerie quietness that restlessly drove him to clench his teeth impatiently and curl his hands into fists.

Peering once again outside he rubbed his forehead in obvious distress.

Was she somewhere lurking in the darkness?

He imagined pale long fingers pressed to demented deviant temples working powers of vengeance to further her cause …whatever that was.

Or was this really his Liz sitting beside him…untouched meant only for him always just as it was forever fated to be.

Her words sweetly whispered in his memory as his eyes drifted past her seemly endless black wet eyelashes to her trembling bottom lip that he so desperately wanted to press his own lips upon.

We make our own destiny Max

Was it her sweet sigh that told him everything he needed desperately to know to end his torment?

Was it her deafening silence the key that was meant to release him from the prison he was sentenced to so many months ago where he was left to question everything he had ever known to be true?

Could he - should he dare trust her quiet presence as an admission, her stillness, the soft shaky breaths of her soft pink lips that she chewed nervously as she wrung her hands aggressively together still searching for words that just wouldn’t come.

Because if it was a trick, another trial contrived to send him around the bend there was no way his heart could handle it.

His body felt numb tingly, as if he had been asleep for years and he was finally waking up, his head swooned with dizziness as he clung to her shoulders.

The truth…. he had to know the truth.

None of this made any sense, what possible reason could she have for wanting to tear him apart, to destroy everything that they had, everything that made him who he was.

He had to know why and he had to know now.

Clutching her shoulders tight he stared directly into exhausted wide watery defeated ebony pools of despair.

Hoping their connection was still as strong as ever he knew it was the only way to see for himself exactly what had happened that night.

A slight hesitation stilled his movements as he prepared himself to endure the agony that devastated him beyond his understanding.

Trapped in an emotional fervor he roughly gripped his strong hands firmly around her arms and lifted her up pushing her back against the door.

His deep raspy serious tone was meant to take her off guard to stun her, but to his surprise she stood with her head held high a new different harder Liz stared back into his honey glazed eyes.

Deep jagged cuts still fresh from all she had been through made her almost want to laugh at his attempt to be domineering.

Her voice was steady and firm refusing to show any more tears or evidence of the damage he had done.

“You won’t like what you see Max.”

Softly he brushed his thumb across her bottom lip releasing a breathy response that she just couldn’t hold back.

Whispering as his sensitive broken eyes focused intensely into her steel unwavering stare he shivered by just the mere closeness of her.

“I know… I feel it too.”

Confusion filled her distraught mind, there was so much pain between them, so much damage, trust lost, but she couldn’t deny the fire in her belly, and the hammering of her heart, the humming of her skin as he pressed his body to hers.

“We have to be close for this to work.”

Her monotone voice hid her reaction to his nearness.

"I remember."

The loneliness that she had endured since the day she sacrificed everything for the greater good was unbearable.

To be plagued with his constant looks of betrayal and disgust for something she never did tore her up inside to the point where she never thought she would be whole again.

At that moment right and wrong held no importance for Liz, she had given enough.

It was time for him to take on this burden that she carried on her shoulders for far too long.

She had been through hell and back and now knew exactly who she was.

The innocent small town girl had grown through pain and sacrifice, she guarded her heart with more care and demanded a certain amount of respect but at her core she still had needs.

And still he could only fulfill those needs, no one could ever touch her the same way no matter how much she hated him for that fact, it was undeniable.

Sighing as he caressed the arch of her jaw gently stoking her cheek before lacing his fingers through her silky hair.

She suspected there was a small part of her that wanted him to find out what she went through for him, for all of them.

Maybe it was time he realized what she willingly gave up because he asked her to, because she loved him, because she loved them all.

Pain struck her heart realizing the hardness that had grown inside her, she wondered briefly what had become of her, it was only until that moment he was close, so close that for brief moment it all came flooding back.

Painting breathlessly his tempting sweet breath against her lips grew closer with a dominant steady rise and fall of his broad chest and powerful hands that had moved from her arms to lace into her tangled hair.

Warm palms caressing her jaw tilting her up towards his tantalizing alluring full soft mouth and parted lips.

The bond they shared had not been broken only growing stronger with time apart, which was obvious to both of them as they shivered with anticipation of connecting once again.

Her palms slammed for support flat against the wood of the door behind her as her breath came out in short gasps awaiting something she thought she would never experience again.

Remembering the strength and courage of Future Max and the precious moments they shared she sincerely breathed out three words feeling as though she had let him down.

“I’m so sorry Max.”

Not understanding but not really caring either he edged closer to her pale trembling lips that slowly parted to invite him in.

A soft heartfelt burning raspy moan escaped deep within him as he took her mouth in a fiery passionate kiss.

It was as if he had been deprived of the sweetest wine, a wine that was necessary to live, to breathe, for he realized at that moment that he was only truly alive when he was with her.

All this time he was a mere walking shell that held only one emotion… pain, a constant eternal churning torturing reminder of her.

An excruciating existence that pushed him to turn to Tess, to the promise that another life was waiting for him, where he was loved and accepted.

Anything to take the pain away he now suspected, how weak, how pathetic… everything she said about him was right.

But she promised him relief from the agony.

A world away from here, where everything was different, a promise that maybe there was a chance he could find his way again.

He knew at that moment Tess was right, he was weak, he wanted her comfort, he wanted to get lost in her – to forget.

He even speculated for a moment if some of his behavior was to show Liz that he could move on.

He now knew that he had been lying to himself the entire time. Nothing and no one could ever take him away from her, nothing could ever make the pain disappear, no matter how far he ran … not even if he ran away from this world. It would never be enough.

He knew in that instant, in that moment of that kiss that felt like the first, that it wasn’t him that saved her that day at the crashdown, it was her that saved him.

Without her he was nothing.

Now as they stood in a fiery embrace it was beyond anyone’s control, their bond was something made of the stars, of something bigger then them both.

Something so special it could never be severed.

If she never wanted him back he would still be sentenced to her, to a life and love remembered and lost forever.

As his forceful lips pressed urgently against her his hand laced deep beneath her raven hair tilting her breathless mouth higher while his other hand when to seek out the soft warm skin of her low back beneath her shirt kneading caressing pressing her body flush against him.

As his tongue softly began to seek out hers they found themselves lost in a dance of two lovers that fell back into a passionate rhythm that could never be forgotten.

Desperate small hands reached around his neck grasping his thick black hair pulling him in closer making his fingers dig into the tender skin above the cleft of her bottom dipping slightly inside her jeans as the temptation to take her became almost overwhelming.

Eyes that were screwed closed in the heart of a timeless obsession opened wide as vivid flashes began to flicker inside his mind.

His eyebrows furrowed as disturbing images began to splinter sharply inside his head vividly pulsating invading their intimate moment.

An older version of himself angrily painting pictures of an apocalyptic war torn world standing in front of Liz, making demands, threatening her of stories of death and destruction.

You have to make me fall out of love with you

The two of them watching as they tried to set Tess up to deceive him, their wedding, their life together, her lies….all of it rushing through his head like a speeding train.

That night things between us were cemented, nothing would ever come between us again.

What do you mean cemented?

We made love

Tears began to slip from his closed eyes down his cheeks.

Feelings of indescribable pain and betrayal as if he was experiencing it all over again of watching her playing naked in bed while he stood ripped to shreds on the balcony.

Everything he thought he knew… gone… torn away in mere seconds.

I guess it worked

Yeah

His life forever changed.

Hands that were gripping her tight slammed on either side of her head against the door.

Disconnected visions fragmented by unrestrained forces were almost impossible to understand and only further confused him.

It was him, a man scarred grey haired worn as if he had been fighting in a war for years holding her close spinning her around gazing into her eyes.

Unable to withstand any more he forcibly pulled back falling onto the floor.

Her shaky hands touched her lips still tasting his salty sweet breath lingering torturously hovering over her swollen mouth that still ached for more.

Shaking his head as the flickering confusing pictures flashed still before his eyes he pushed his body away edging towards her window.

Wide eyes flew towards the bed as fragments of sentences ripped at his heart.

It feels good to make you laugh again

Yeah it does feel good

Looking up at her his voice broken, his heart destroyed.

“You joked, you were killing me, and it meant so little to you that you were able to... laugh.”

The momentary bliss that filled his broken heart just moments ago was shattered this time maybe beyond repair as he stumbled to his feet.

Tears welled in his eyes that clearly reflected a wrecked defeated spirit.

His voice cracked breathlessly as he backed towards the window.

“I-I don’t understand – “

Nodding sympathetically she moved closer causing him to stumble further away.

“I can explain if you’ll just let – “

A fury unseen by her before exploded as he began to roar back at her.

“Do you have any idea what you have put me through!”

“Max you don’t understand – “

”I don’t understand? I don’t understand? I trusted you!”

Refusing to take more responsibility and blame for the pain that she was mercilessly put through Liz pushed him against the window pointing her index finger hard into his chest challenging his wild furious accusatory glare.

“You have no idea what you put me through! You left me no choice! You came from the future telling stories of the world ending, of holding Michael and Isabel dead in your arms -"

Max held his head shaking it back and forth unable to comprehend what she was saying.

“I can’t do this, not now, not after everything. I-I can’t know this, I can’t know that you purposely did this to me, that you let me think all this time –“

“Max you can’t run away from this, I can’t keep this inside anymore, This is what you wanted, this is what you told me I had to do in order to save us all -“

Closing his eyes he bent his head down as if the weight of her words were painful for him to hear.

"NO! I didn't tell you anything, That wasn't me. Whatever happened, whoever came to you, that wasn't me...I am here standing in front of you LIz! This is me!"

"But you don't under - "

"You should've came to me! You should've trusted me enough to tell me, we could've found a way. Together we could've found a way."

"Max please - "

“I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

Running down the ladder towards his jeep Liz peered over down to the street.

"Where are you going?"

Refusing to look at her he stared down at the pavement before slamming the door shut to make his way towards the desert.

"I don't know, I don't know anything anymore."

[jake17]

Ellie
Ginger
angelina
Eve
maipigen
Monica
natalie
rosyrosy2882
Caroyln x2
IheartMax
Stefuh

Thank you so much for all this great fb








Chapter 5.








Slumped down staring blindly at the small town in his rear view mirror as it disappeared behind the basking glow of a full moon that shown down on a life that no longer made sense to him, Max weakly guided the steering wheel towards the barren dead vast desert of nothingness ahead of him.

Creeping slowly down deep into the pit of his twisted stomach like scraping desperate fingernails gripping to hold onto a truth he couldn't accept he drove on in despair.

Knowing fully well that this was inevitable that eventually he would have to face the likelihood that everything that was good, everything that was pure …his first and only love the innocence that all that existed in this world was their love was over clawed at his gut.

Shifting his eyes away from the direction of her, away from her warmth, her soft silky skin, her intoxicating scent that wrapped around him making him feel far and safe from worries and pain he edged his eyes forward…to nothing.

Emptiness surrounded him now; the cold sharp cutting continuous slash of his broken heart was all that was left.

The darkness of the desert enveloped his jeep like a welcoming acceptance of his defeat leading him further into his pain and confusion.

Tears of betrayal of months of torturing searing pain and lies welled holding just over the edge of his eyes waiting to spill over his cold cheeks shivering in the unforgiving dropping temperature of the desolate vast sand and rock ahead of him.

He was through fighting as he drifted further towards the high pointed rock that gave birth to his existence that he had tried to fight his whole life.

What comfort he expected to find in the pod chamber he didn’t know but with everyone hating him it felt strangely like the only place he could go.

Shaking his head he couldn’t handle thinking any more. Tired and broken he refused to analyze his actions.

All he could see was Liz in his head her softly laughing as her bare leg lifted over Kyle’s thigh carefree and happy while his world was being ripped apart.

Whether it was a lie or not she knew ….she knew and still …

A wasteland of a road narrowed as he pulled along side of the rock that held his history under a sky lit by thousands of bright stars that illuminated a place that he once fell out of so long ago.

Standing outside he held his head upwards pondering on that faithful day that started it all, decisions that he had nothing to do with steering his future into a hopeless lonely existence to save a world he would never know.

It all seemed pointless and meaningless as stood there abandoned by everyone he loved by his own selfish feeble need to control situations that he had no business interfering in.

Led around by a manipulating monster that held the key to destroying his life and the relationships that he know knew he could not live without and the knowledge that it was all a lie that sparked it all was just too much.

Trying to wrap his head around the fact that his future self would purposely come back to insure this beast be connected forever with them was something that made no sense to him.

Surely there had to be another way then Tess needed to save the world.

No, he wouldn’t …he couldn’t accept that.

Not after what he knew she was capable of, the alien without a conscious, without a soul or the capability to love or feel the weight of the responsibility of her actions.

To be able to destroy lives randomly without care or the least bit of concern… no …it wouldn’t be her …it couldn’t be her.

With a sea of brilliant stars above him he closed his eyes hoping for some divine wisdom to miraculously come down and show him the way.

Lost as to what direction to take or how to even feel he breathed out a plea desperate for an answer as to what to do now.

His guttural deep voice cracked with pain echoing against the wide-open chill of the air around him that went on forever.

“Please help me.”

The tears that had been threatening to spill over onto his hardened face finally succumbed over the black lashes that grazed the beauty of his handsome shocked expression.

“All you had to do was ask my love.”

A laden gasp of air escaped his shivering lips as he felt her deceivingly warm hand on his back promising comfort concealing her true motive of her own self involved devices.

“How did you find me?”

Refusing to look at her he stood motionless still with closed eyes hoping he had fallen asleep from pure exhaustion and was dreaming of the devil herself.

Her musical careless tone cut him like daggers as she moved closer to him pressing her body flush against his back.

“Silly boy I will always find you, we are connected always have been always will be.”

Sighing almost disappointingly she laid her cheek against him as she drew imaginary symbols across his back.

“Haven’t you been paying attention at all?”

A disgusted chill ran up his spine as he felt her touch dragging him down further into an abyss of loneliness and despair.

“I have to give it to you Max, you are a stubborn one. Still insisting that you have a choice in the matter. That you have some kind of control over your destiny, over your pathetic excuse for a life.”

Stepping forward into the darkness she was forced to let him go still with her hands up in the air where she was just momentarily touching him.

His tone was harsh but quiet lacking the energy from everything he had been through.

“I still have free will.”

A boisterous laugh exploded from her crimson lips as she folded her arms in front of her chest.

“Still holding onto that illusion? You impress me Max, I would’ve thought after the great love of your life betrayed you that would’ve been enough to convince you that you are merely a puppet in the big scheme of things.”

Gritting his teeth his held his fists close to his sides furious that even she was aware of the truth that had been kept from him for so long.

“What? Surprised that I know? That’s what I love about you Max even in the future you cling to your self righteous need to control every situation no matter who it hurts or what price there is to pay.”

“Shut up!”

Pouting her full lips she stood in front of him and gently brushed his dark thick bangs from his wounded eyes.

“Yes, it must hurt. Knowing that it was so easy for her to trust someone other than you, even if it was “future you.” Wow this is a mind teaser isn’t it? No wonder you’re contemplating your very existence out here in the middle of no where.”

Slowly he lowered his glassy darkened eyes to her playful sapphire orbs with hatred and loathing seething blatantly in her direction.

“Don’t talk about her, I’m warning you. You are seriously pushing my patience, believe me now is not the time.”

The firmness in his voice was serious and not something she took lightly but still she was having so much fun it was hard not to play with him.

Placing her hands on her hips she snapped her gum, as she looked him up and down surmising just how far she could push him.

“Hmm, I suppose you’ve probably had enough for tonight. So much information to take in …or should I say accept. Which is really your whole problem Max if you ask me.”

“I wasn’t asking you.”

Flicking her blonde locks over her shoulder she nodded with a devilish smirk.

“Yeah I suppose you didn’t but it really must be a hard pill to swallow knowing that the one person in the world you thought you could trust cut you into little tiny pieces on the word of basically a stranger from another time. I mean when you really think about it, isn’t weird that she didn’t believe in you enough to run right to you for help?”

Rubbing his head roughly he began to breathlessly dig his fingers into his scalp unable to listen to her any longer.

“Enough!”

Turning towards his jeep quickly he sped off back to town as the fractured pieces of the flashes he experienced when he connected with Liz suddenly began to become clearer.

Leaving Tess confused standing in the dust of her backfired plan Max accelerated towards town.

Trying to stay as calm as possible he began to put the flashes that originally flew haphazardly around without any kind of order just an array of emotional flickering pictures in his mind steady and controlled.

Gripping the steering wheel as he came closer and closer to her he used all his strength to see what he was to hurt to focus on before.

Steadying his breathing he relaxed his muscles as he pulled over in front of her apartment.

Sitting quietly in the jeep he closed his eyes and concentrated on what exactly he witnessed when they connected.

An image of the both of them in the future appeared now behind his minds eye.

His heart began to pound as he saw his future love standing before him clothed in leather, hair short aged by fighting and despair but still as beautiful as the very moon that shone down above him.

He stood apart from them watching as they embraced, her encouraging him to go.

Watching as he was transported in time hands touching till the last second, a choice made my both of them.

Opening his eyes he fell back into the seat trying to catch his breath.

It wasn’t just his decision … she wanted this.

As he walked to her ladder more flashes became increasingly coherent.

Her crying begging future Max to pick someone else that the pain was too much for her, that hurting him was practically killing her.

How she was forced to say things she didn't mean, and how deeply this effected her to this day.

It wasn’t just imagines he was seeing now but actual feelings that he was experiencing, her feelings.

The pain was almost unbearable.

Once he reached her balcony he looked back towards the desert realizing that it was Tess that made him open his eyes, to believe in the love and trust he shared with Liz.

The mere fact that she was so hell bent on selling him on the fact that Liz deceived him, betrayed him made him open his eyes for what felt like the first time.

Her manipulation made him see the truth. If Liz weren’t such a threat to Tess she wouldn’t have tried to use her against him.

Placing his hand on her windowpane he watched her sleep remembering the very words he said to her that faithful night.

“It’s you that I trust.”

Stirring from a restlessly slumber Liz rubbed her eyes hoping she wasn’t dreaming as she watched him standing outside her window.

“Max?”

Lifting up the glass he slowly climbed in and sat beside her on the bed.

A soft broken whisper fell from his lips as he brushed her silky hair from her weary eyes.

“I know I don’t have the right to ask this of you…but… can I just lie her next to you... I know we need to talk, I can only begin to understand what you’ve been through – “

“Max –“

Holding his finger gently to her lips he pleaded with anguish in his pain stricken eyes.

“I know I don’t deserve this but I don’t think I can make it through the night without you by my side. Please Liz, just for tonight …I’m so tired …I’m so tired.”

Nodding hesitantly Liz pulled back the comforter letting him in.

Turning away from him she held the covers tight in her fist fighting the urge to take comfort in him even though she laid suffering from all the pain he put her through.

Gathering her strength she quietly spoke, as he lay motionless facing away from her, fighting his own battle to reach over and touch her.

“This is far from over Max.”

[jake17]

zaneri
angelina
Ellie
Eve x2
Caroyln
L-J-L 76
maipigen
Ginger
dreambeliever
stefuh
Jan
Kristin


Thank you all so much for you very sweet fb, also thanks for all your well wishes and concern for my daughter. you are all so kind it never ceases to amaze me. I hope you know how much I appreciate your support. thank you so much!









Chapter 6.









As Max slept next to her for the first time since their desert night so long ago, vivid dreams streamed through him like watercolor images blurry and soft like ocean waves caressing his skin.

Breathing out with reluctant hesitation his body slowly began to relax beside her small frame that curled so tight inside the coolness of her powder blue sheets.

Warm loving emotions materialized as if they were happening for the first time soothing his broken heart, fading temporarily at least the stark cold reality that made no sense and tortured him to his very core.

Holding her tiny hand as they walked through a meadow of tall lavender flowers and dewy flowing emerald grass he felt as if he were in heaven, safe and protected …he felt …home.

Tenderly he stroked her warm skin as he stole glances with each carefree step they took.

He became lost in her as brightly colored orange dragonflies and butterflies danced around her exquisite beauty as if they too were entranced by the same magic that touched his heart whenever he was near her.

Streaming beams of sunlight pierced between the fluffy white clouds illuminating her sweet flawless flushed cheeks making her even more captivating …if that were even possible.

His heart skipped a beat every time she graced him with a fleeting look or bewildering enchanting smile… a smile that was only meant for him and him alone.

His breath was shaky as he shuddered each time her long lustrous dark eyelashes rose revealing her endless chocolate eyes that evoked feelings of lust and love a line that she carefully walked driving him to the edge of his control every time they were close.

So natural and pure never forced or contrived her feelings were always right there on the surface for everyone to see.

Untainted by the harshness of the world she held nothing back, a fearless soul bearing her heart for all …for him…always for him to see.

So brave to allow herself to be seen …so much braver than him he thought to himself as he continued walking aimlessly carelessly through the fragrant flowers and tall grass.

Never did he imagine someone would feel such passion - such love for him.

Her needs were more than evident with each look, each touch …she never hid from him -how much she wanted him.

Curious and excited about her feelings for him it always struck him how natural it was for her, to give unconditionally, to do anything, risk everything to show her love.

There were no boundaries too dangerous for her to cross to protect and care for him.

Will no regard for the protection of her heart she loved with everything she had.

It shook him to his very foundation how someone so beautiful, so intelligent, so gifted in so many ways could feel this way about him, could give without thought to her own safety, someone that loved without walls without concern for her young heart.

Watching as her raven hair flowed across her bare tan shoulders of her pale plum sundress he was hypnotized, swayed helplessly as her auburn silky locks blew across her blushing vibrant face.

He saw within her all the things that he lacked, all of his faults stuck out so garishly against her.

His need for control, with everything in his life, the fear that clung to him with every moment forcing the three of them to always hide.

The self-imposed responsibility he put upon him self for everyone’s safety, and worst of all his inability to put himself out there.

To open his heart, bear his deepest most guarded feelings…to risk it all and be brave, brave enough to love…to love her.

In fact it was only until he was faced with the knowledge that he could possibly lose her forever that he jumped off that cliff.

Because of her he discovered that taking that leap of faith soars you to the depths of heaven not crashing down into nothing, as he always feared.

He owed everything to her.

She made him better, more open …she taught him how to love and except love in return.

It was only with her that he let himself be free if only for a few brief fleeting moments….he was free.

Never in his life did he cross that line he created for himself and the others …not until that day …that fateful day.

To feel her hot skin beneath his shaky hands - to connect so strongly so instantaneously that a bond was born so physically powerful nothing and no one could ever destroy it.

In that split second he knew …he knew without doubt or question that they were meant to be.

The truth coursed through him like a warm breeze awaking something deep inside him…something that he didn’t even realize he was able to feel.

Love.

Without motive or judgment, unconditional passionate fearless love.

He loved Liz Parker …and this would never change or fade.

It was like the tides constant and steadfast, unwavering in its depths carrying him into the unknown.

Into something mysterious and exciting, yes he was one of the lucky ones at least that’s what he thought … so long ago…

It was these emotions that pierced his heart as they approach the edge of the meadow where the dark deep woods began.

Squeezing his hand her pale pink lips parted as her sweet voice drifted over him like a humming bird singing in his ear.

“Let’s keep going Max.”

Recovering only slightly from the sound of her melting inside him he peered up into the back dense forest and froze.

Shaking his head with fear that rose in the pit of his stomach like poison warning him of the perils of the unfamiliar …he was paralyzed.

“No, Liz …it’s not safe.”

With a strange and mysterious giggle she released his hand and dashed into the thick trees disappearing instantly to his horror.

Her faint reply was all that was left of her as it echoed weakly against the trembling leaves that had brushed by her rushing wake.

“Come find me Max …”

His heart hammered as he searched frantically through the impenetrable branches that weaved together in a maze enveloping every inch of light leaving him gasping for air.

She was gone.

“Liz! Liz wait! Come back!! Please come back!”

Clenching his jaw his hands curled nervously into fists as he desperately tried to see into the darkness that stretched out before him.

Listening intensely he heard no sign of her. No footsteps or rustle of the trees.

How could she disappear so fast from his side?

“Please! Liz it’s dangerous! You wont find your way back! Please don’t go!”

Panic seared through his insides as dusk fell over the beautiful field leaving him feeling more alone than ever.

The violet flowers she touched so tenderly with the tips of her long delicate fingers were wilted and grey curled over by the impeding frost of the night.

His lungs stressed as he strained to breathe, muscles tensed against the crawling creeping sensation of terrifying dread that increased by each passing second.

Suddenly this feeling seemed familiar as if he had experienced it before. Raking his hands through his thick black hair the memories came so clearly so deeply like a weight pressing hard against his chest that heaved with terror.

Closing his eyes he screamed once more for her knowing deep inside that it was futile …she was gone.

He was alone.

Closing his eyes he breathed in deeply, his throat ran dry as his pulse quickened.

He knew that he had no choice.

Swallowing hard he opened his amber eyes that now glowed softly in the twilight hour.

“Liz…I’m coming for you, please just stay where you are. I promise I will find you.”

Grasping the twisted menacing thick branch in front of him he lifted his foot ready to take the first step into the deep dark woods when he heard a sharp snap of a twig in front of him.

A huge wave of relief washed over him as he placed his foot firmly on the ground.

Squinting his eyes he tried to adjust to the shadows that fell amongst the heavy wooded trees.

His voice was low with husky overtones as he longed to hold her once again in his arms.

He needed to feel her against him, touch her hair, caress her skin, smell the sweet scent of lilac and vanilla that always seemed to surround her.

“Thank god you came back, I was so worried.”

“I told you Max I will always find you, we are connected always have been… always will be.”

His mouth fell open in a soundless gasp of horror as her blonde curls emerged from the darkness.

Tilting her head sideways a crooked grin slowly appeared across her crimson lips as she took one step then another towards him.

Shaking his head irately he looked past her back into the woods now beyond terrified for Liz.

“What did you do?! Where is she?!”

Rolling her eyes she slightly yawed patting her long black nails over her mouth showing how bored she was.

“Really Max this is getting a bit old.”

Rage set in his now darkened eyes as he stood tall and approached her unflinching small frame.

With a devilish smirk she rose on her toes and stepped closer to him making her nearly flush with his heaving strong chest.

Flashing her ice cobalt eyes up towards his fiery glare she placed her hand upon his stomach and slowly lowered her fingers so she was touching the fly of his jeans.

“Mmm It’s about time Max, you want it right against the tree or shall we lay in the grass and fuck?”

A look of disgust and utter disbelief covered his sweaty face as he grabbed her hand away from his body and twisted it behind her back painfully forcing her even closer to him.

“Well, well this is quite a surprise…but I can play. You want it rough? I’m game.”

Shock and loathing shot through him as he pushed her away from him.

“Tess, what did you do to her?! Tell me!”

Sighing impatiently Tess leaned against a large tree directly where Liz had disappeared behind.

“It always amazes me how someone who was once King can be so dense …so seriously inept and well… stupid. You’ve once again have it backwards. I did nothing …don't you remember? It was you that had no faith in her, you’re the one who blindly believed that she deceived you, and you’re the one that ran to the first person who gave you the tiniest bit of affection and acceptance. Oh and how could I forget …you are the one that abandoned her when she needed you the most. …left her drowning in her grief all alone…so cold and selfish you were, so closed off and self involved. She wanders as we speak alone and lost in the deep dark woods my love but I am not to blame …no that honor goes to you. ”

Pain raked across his handsome face as her words cut into him like a thousand blades.

Tess pulled back her nails to inspect the color wondering if she should go red again clearly bored with their talk.

Still it was fun.

“You know that poem she keeps rattling off incessantly does have a point. The woods are lovely but they are very dark and deep Max …I just wonder if our innocent little girl will ever find her way out. I bet a nice normal …human…guy is all she needs to bring her into the light again…because really Max when you think about it who is to blame for her misery?”

Suddenly he pulled his hands from his face as he began to hear Liz softly sobbing in the distance.

“No! Please don’t do this!”

Tess halted her flippant behaviour and became very sombre as she carefully approached Max.

Touching her hand to his cheek her sarcastic hard stare softened to an almost caring empathetic expression.

“I’m not doing anything Max. She’s crying over you. She’s hurting because of you. Let her go Max. Give her the normal happy life she was meant to have….”

“Let her go.”

Suddenly a bright white flash flickered before his eyes as he sat up in her bed soaked in sweat shaking fiercely.

Wiping his damp black hair from his forehead Max struggled to calm his heart as he clutched his knees to his chest.

Quickly he looked beside him only to find an empty bed aside from a note on her pillow.

Urgently he grasped the white lined paper.


Had to open for breakfast
We need to talk Max
Come by tonight after ten

Liz



Folding the paper neatly he carefully placed it in his back pocked and reached for his shoes.

His entire body ached horribly, he felt as if a truck had hit him, his head was pounding like a jackhammer so bad even the slightest sound was too much for him.

Standing in her room he glanced over at the balcony – a quick exit was in reach. He wouldn’t have to face anyone; he could be home in minutes and collapse in his bed.

He was so emotionally and physically drained he didn’t think he could handle seeing people especially her, but his dream haunted him.

He knew it was completely irrational but he had to see for himself that she was ok.

Slowly he descended the stairs, his tired eyes heavy with the emotional pain of the nightmare that refused to let even his sleeping hours grant him any peace.

Dishevelled and obviously in great distress he emerged from the kitchen into the dinning area.

His mind wouldn’t let the images of the dream go as he picked apart the meaning that so clearly was an overwhelming feeling of guilt.

That’s when he saw her behind the counter filling a young man’s coffee and laughing brightly as if last night never happened.

Hidden by the fact that she had not noticed him yet he blatantly stared at her watching as she carried on a seemingly light casual conversation with a handsome college student.

They talked of interesting courses he was taking and maniacal professors that lectured purely because they liked to hear themselves talk.

He spoke of keg parties and stupid faturnity pranks, of the bliss of freedom from parents and the challenge of doing your own laundry for the first time.

No trace of doom and gloom in their conversation, no talk of end of the world destruction and death. Nothing spoken of lies and pain, manipulating evil aliens or hiding from secret alien government branches.

It was all very normal...very human.

Leaning against the wall from pure exhaustion he heard the words from his dream once again just as she looked up at him, his heart sank as her warm smile fell from her face replaced by a suffering expression of pain.

“I’m not doing anything Max. She’s crying over you. She’s hurting because of you. Let her go Max. Give her a normal happy life she was meant to have….”

“Let her go.”

Mouthing the word “tonight?” to him she kept eye contact waiting for a response.

A slight nod was all he gave too tired and wrecked to give anymore he walked out the front door to his jeep.

Those haunting words still rang devastatingly in his head as he drove home.

“Let her go.”

[jake17]

Ginger
Evans-dreamer
Eve
Ellie
angelina
L-J-L76
carolyn
Jan
Natalie
OmegaRam1
zaneri1

thanks so much for all your amazing fb, My daughter is coming along better than expected but still in much pain, thanks so much for asking!

OK in this update without giving anything away Max is going to have random memories flashing in his head. The quotes are not word for word. that was done on purpose. In my mind I see it happening very quickly and disjointed, its really how his mind remembered them. So they are not complelely accurate.

Forgive any grammar mistakes please it's almost 4 am, another sleepless night, right now i could care less about grammar, I'm more interested if this hits you emotionally, if that makes any sense..










Chapter 7











The house was quiet as Max made his way towards his room, he assumed everyone had left for the day and was looking forward to the prospect of not having to face anyone who was angry with him, which pretty much included everyone he knew.

Rubbing his eyes he could still see the vivid dream in his mind, by now he knew that there was a great chance that Tess had been behind it. Still it didn’t make the pain any less, or his feeling of tremendous guilt any lighter.

Walking down the hallway his shoulders were physically slumped over by the weight of emotion resting on them.

Pushing open his bedroom door he looked around thoughtfully, almost feeling as if everything was different.

Not the material things per say, they were all there in their place just as always.

His clock radio by his bedside, his computer on his desk with mounds of homework that he had been neglecting, even the ripped up concert tickets that he could never bring himself to throw out.

Everything was in its spot but it felt wrong somehow, or maybe it was ‘him’ that was wrong.

It was all evidence of who he was, memories and personal effects of who he is; only he wasn’t sure who he was anymore.

Kicking off his shoes and pulling off his shirt he laid down on his bed and groaned as his head hit the pillow.

His body was agonizingly sore in fact every muscle ached but it was his mind that bothered him the most.

It was noisy and painful, thoughts jumbled into splices of recollections of words he said and that were said back to him.

Like scenes from a movie but everything spun out of order, there was no rhyme or reason just fast moving hurtful words being thrown back and forth from him and everyone he loved.

Grimacing in agony he held his hands over his ears in desperation as they kept coming faster and louder one after the other without any kind of order just an array of disturbing truths that refuse stop.

Sitting up he grabbed his pillow and bent it around his head holding it tight to his ears.

Rocking back and forth his stomach twisted in knots and his head felt as if it were being squeezed in a vise grip.

But the physical pain was nothing compared to the endless stream of excruciating vivid hurtful memories of things he had said constantly bombarding his mind.

Isabel : “you’re killing me”
Max : “you let it get this far”

Max: “We always work as a group …”
Liz: “Do you believe that Alex was murdered?”
Max: “No, I’m sorry but no.”
Liz: “Well than I guess we can’t work as a group Max.”

Agent Pierce: “I can take you apart piece by piece and make sure that you stay conscious enough to feel every second of it.”

Liz: “- I guess it’s not over, is it?”
Max: “it can be, these are just some old bones someone dug up, we’ll take care of this. I don’t see why things can’t go back they way they were.”
Liz: “I don’t think they can Max.”

Liz: “Aliens were involved.”
Max: “I can’t believe your saying this…
Liz: “You just don’t want to face it because that would mean that you might be responsible!”

Liz: “You saw flashes when you kissed her Max? Like with me? I guess I’m not so special am I?”

Sheriff Valenti: “ there ‘s been an accident, its Alex.”
Max: “ There was nothing I could do, there was so much blood…”

Liz: “ the thing is Max, is not called Romeo and Juliet, its called the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet - Your life will always be dangerous, but mine doesn’t have to be. It’s only dangerous when I’m with you - I want to have kids and I want my kids to be safe.
I may love you Max but I’m not willing to die for you.”

Max: “This just isn’t you Liz, just tell me the truth.”
Liz: “- Kyle and I made love, I don’t know what you want me to say Max.”
Max: “…it can’t be the truth because that would mean that everything I felt for the past year was a lie!”

Michael: “You put us all in danger Max, we always knew this day would come…”
Isabel: “You broke a sacred pact, a pact that we made Max!”

Future Max: “the night of the Gomez concert, that was the night everything changed.”
Liz : “What do you mean?”
Future Max: “Things between us became cemented, nothing would ever come between us again.”
Liz: “What are you talking about cemented…’
Future Max ; “We made love.”

Michael: “What else have you been keeping from us?”
Max: “it’s just some symbols I found in the cave with Liz. I was going to show you, I just wanted to wait till it was safe”
Isabel: “you should’ve told us Max,.”

Michael: “maybe Liz has a point, maybe aliens are responsible for Alex’s death – “

Max: “If you get in that cab Liz, our friendship is over.”

Tess: “It was so easy, you were so weak and pathetic I don’t think I even had to use by powers all I had to do is throw a little attention your way and you would’ve ran to me, anything to fill the hole left by your precious Liz.”

Nasedo: “I just hope you’re not confusing what you want to be true with what really is true."

Topolski: “It isn't safe for you - just act like normal kids.”

Max: “It’s not safe for us to…its not safe.”
Liz: “I don’t care.”
Max: “Liz, I really wish this could be something…you know...more. But it can’t, we’re just…”
Liz : “- different.”

Agent Pierce: “Why don’t we start with your girlfriend Liz.”
Max: “NOOOOO!”



“Max!” Isabel stood over him shaking him as he incoherently mumbled to himself. “Max can you hear me? Max snap out of it!”

Suddenly his eyes flew open as the pillow fell from his hands.

Instantly the voices stopped although echoes could be faintly still heard in the distance.

Gasping for air Max held his head feeling as if he were loosing his mind.

Pulling her hair back in a ponytail she looked down upon him with little sympathy.

“What’s wrong Max, your conscious getting to you, that’s if you even have one.”

Grabbing her hand he pulled her down to sit next to him on the bed.

“Please just stay with me for a little while, I don’t know what’s wrong with me…”

Scoffing at him she yanked her hand away and bent down to lace up her sneakers.

“Sorry Max I’m going for a run, besides I’m not really interested in the king's executive decision anxieties, even if it does seem to be giving you some anguish.”

Looking up at her with pure vulnerability and a teary broken expression he silently begged her to listen.

Sighing she reluctantly sat back and leaned against the headboard.

“What is it?”

Whispering feeling completely drawn from all and any energy he rested his face in his hands.

“Liz tried to fly to Sweden yesterday.”

Smiling sarcastically Isabel raised her eyebrows with surprise. “Wow what defiance! I can only imagine the punishment such disobedience!”

Raking his hands through his hair he raised his voice in desperation.

“Will you just stop? For just one second! Can you just be my sister? “

Rising off the bed she leaned down and spoke calmly staring directly into his eyes so he would see the seriousness in her voice.

“It’s funny Max, all I wanted was my brother the other day, I guess we don’t always get what we want do we?”

Rushing out of the house Isabel immediately began running down the sidewalk brushing right by Michael.

“Is he ho – “

“Resting in his chambers!”

Rolling his eyes Michael knocked softly on the door sensing Max’s distress.

“You’ve looked a lot better.”

Now curled on his side Max stared at the wall despondently.

“Max you know her, she’ll be pissed for a while but she’ll come around.”

“Tess has been mind warping me.”

Turning his head around vigorously Michael sat on the bed facing Max's blank expression.

“For how long? How do you know? What has she – “

Breathing out he closed his eyes. “I’m not sure how long, maybe since our ‘sessions’ where she’s been so called helping me remember our past.”

“She’s been putting thoughts in my head, about Liz, you Isabel…everything I suspect.”

Kneeling down in front of Max Michael grabbed onto Max’s shoulder watching as his eyes began to automatically close from pure exhaustion.

“Max are you positive?”

Nodding slowly before drifting off to sleep Max whispered yes, furiously Michael ran out of the room.

Mumbling in his sleep Max’s words fell to an empty room.” Please be careful.”

Hazy pictures of the heavily treed woods flickered in his mind as he watched Liz smile brightly over and over “Max, come find me.”

Suddenly his drowsy eyes opened to large red numbers on his alarm clock.

9:30 pm

He went to jump off the bed but was stopped by searing pain all over his body.

He suspected he had been tensing his muscles all day the way they ached so badly.

He was beyond shocked that he had slept for so long.

Standing under the hot shower he raised his face towards the beating water hoping it would help to clear his mind.

Leaning forward so he was braced against the cool blue tile he sighed as the pounding water pelted off the back of his neck.

Placing his hands on the wall he closed his eyes and pictured her, his only peace, his reason for going on ...

“Liz…”



~~~~~~~



Looking down at his watch he waited till exactly ten o’clock as he stood outside the crash down doors.

He had been standing there a good twenty minutes just taking her in.

He just wanted to watch her for a little while before everything started. Before her might lose her forever.

She was so beautiful sitting on the stool swinging back and forth like a child.

Her hair was in a loose ponytail on top of her head with tiny wavy chocolate tresses hanging down all around her face.

To him the light that shown so brilliantly inside her radiated outward bursting through her bright doe eyes, her laminating skin and the pink hue of her seemingly always flushed cheeks.

The pure soul and heart in her that was so kind and good was impossible to keep hidden inside.

To him it was as striking as the sun and just as warm.

It was that warmness that made him fall so hard, the way she always looked at him as though she was bursting with love and happiness just to be around him.

He wondered if she would ever look at him in that way again or if it was lost forever, lost because of careless mistakes and his weak mind.

Shaking his head from these overwhelming thoughts he concentrated on how beautiful she looked.

it was always the simple things that he noticed - the way she curled her toes when she read something particularly interesting or how she twirled her hair around her pencil when she was deep in thought.

He knew it would be these little insignificant things that would haunt him for the rest of his days.

She was freshly showered without a hint of makeup dressed in powder blue tank top and navy and yellow-stripped pajama bottoms and by far the prettiest he had ever seen her.

She had a book opened on the counter in front of her about the life of Madame Curie.

Liz …

His Liz…

There would be no other like her, deep down inside he knew that, and a part of him knew that he should be more than grateful for the time he did get to spend with her although it would …could never be enough.

Adjusting his footing slightly was enough to flicker the light shinning in the diner and catch her eye.

There would be no smile for him, no brightness from within, a sharp pain shot through his chest as she jumped off the stool and unlocked the door only to turn and coolly walk away.

For a split second he wondered if that light would now be reserved for another, this thought just about brought him to his knees as he reached for one of the tables nearby to steady himself.

Once inside he locked the door and followed her as she picked up her book and shut off the lights one by one making her way up the stairs.

“A little light reading?”

“She was a strong independent woman, she never took no for an answer and never let a man tell her something was impossible. She’s a hero Max.”

Following her inside her bedroom he sat in the chair at her desk while she pulled herself up on her bed and cradled her knees to her chest.

"She's not the only one who could claim that title."

A cold unimpressive glare was the reaction he received leaving him feeling massively uncomfortable.

Clearing his throat nervously he took off his jacket and laid it across her desk.

“You wanted to talk?” he replied softly deeply and with the ultimate of unintentionally sexual intensity.

It should be a crime the way he could do that she thought angrily.

Again she felt herself torn in half, part of her missing him so much and longing desperately to forget everything and just hold him again, and part of her wanting to slap him across the face and throw him out.

This internal struggle was a war waging continually inside her with her always the causality, confused and bitter.

Why did he always have to look at her that way, and those soulful eyes, part sultry stare, part wounded helpless animal- a deadly combination.

Her cautious narrowed eyes drifted momentarily over his dark green tee shirt that was snug against his body.

Flashes of that shirtless strong body flickered in her mind leaving her lost in thought for a moment.

Gritting her teeth she yelled at herself inside reminding her head of the hell he had put her through.

Then almost in relief she remembered the answers she so desperately needed and how hurtful they would be.

For the moment at least that familiar yearning was gone as she leaned against the internal wall she had built herself for protection.

“Yeah, I have some questions. Do you mind?”

Staring down at the ground he flashed his eyes up towards her for a second hoping his brain would be able to function enough to give her the answers she wanted.

“Of course not.”

Spinning a bracelet around her wrist she took a deep breath knowing inside that the answers to these questions might be difficult if not impossible to hear.

“Max you said that Tess has been mind warping you, do you have any idea when this started, I mean can you tell what decisions were made by you and not by her influence?”

Scratching the back of his ear he shook his head. “It’s difficult to be sure, ever since I found out my mind has been spinning. It’s kind of like having the television on in your head but all the channels are playing at the same time.”

“The memories of you and her, back on your planet. Could you tell? Were they real? Did you remember her Max?”

Slowly he raised his sorrow filled eyes towards her wanting nothing more than to take her in his arms and hold her close as he possibly could just to ease her pain.

Tilting his head to the side he released a long shaky breath,

He knew if he had any chance at mending the very least their friendship he couldn’t lie.

However she was going to react, he understood that he owed her nothing less then the truth.

[jake17]

thank you all so much for your replies! so sorry I don't have time to thank you all individually, my daughter has the flu never a dull moment

thanks so much for your support!!











Chapter 8








With an air of sarcasm Liz started to repeat her question, she couldn’t help but feel the anger that had been building for so long rise up in her.

“Having trouble remembering Max, because it strikes me as kind of important, do-you-remember-her?”

Pressure weighed heavily on his brain, he didn’t want to hurt her but she was asking for the truth, so that’s what he was going to give her, the absolute truth.

“Yes.”

His voice was barely audible but to her it sounded as if he were speaking into a microphone that echoed loudly in a huge ballroom.

Pulling her knees in tighter she did her best to hold back her tears. She refused to give him that much.

Sighing he got off the chair and sat on the edge of the bed wanting to be closer to her.

“It’s not that simple and for you to really understand you need to let me explain exactly what happened.”

Raking her hand through her hair she shook her head. “You know what Max, it kind of is that simple. She was your wife and I told you, I told you standing on the dance floor of the prom that eventually you were going to tell me how you remembered her and that you loved her, and I was right.”

With a forceful deepness to it his tone shocked her causing her to look up at him.

“No, sorry but you weren’t right and despite what you think, how you analyze every situation, weigh what you think are the facts, and come to your own very subjective conclusions, you are wrong. Life is not a science project Liz, feelings and emotions are not black and white. You can’t run experiments on people and form opinions on the evidence you believe to be true.”

Seeing this as a personal attack Liz became infuriated. :”Screw you Max, for someone who feels the need to control everyone and everything around him you have a lot of nerve lecturing me on areas of grey.”

Laughing to himself Max sat back and rubbed his eyes.

“I really don’t see what’s so funny about all this Max.”

His expression grew serious as he lifted her chin to look at him. “I was laughing because we know each other a little too well. Not because I think this is funny. Believe me having my brain ripped opened and manipulated like a game of operation and having you as a constant reminder of how I will never love again is not my idea of fun!”

Calming herself down Liz took a deep breath and started again.

“You’re right, I guess a one word answer couldn’t possibly be enought to explain, so go ahead, I’m listening. I’ll do my best to think… in the grey, I promise.”

Looking away from her he thought back to the two of them sitting on her bed holding hands, her leading him through the process.

Handing her over his complete trust without thinking twice about it, wondering if that was all him or if she had been involved in that too.

“I’m not going to lie to you I was eager to learn everything I could, not about her or ‘us’ more about what I was like, about Michael and Isabel and our parents. Think about it Liz, after all these years I was finally going to get answers to question I've been in dark about my whole life."

Glancing at a picture of her parents on her desk she felt a twinge of understanding and sympathy rush through her.

She softened her voice slightly edging him on. "Keep going."

Hesitating for a minute he did his best to describe his feelings, which was near impossible after everything he had been through.

“You have to understand where my head was at the time Liz. Sure I always had an interest in what happened but I was happy here, I was happy with my life…and then I wasn’t.”

She raised her eyes and watched as a brief look of peace covered his face.

“Being an ‘alien’ was confusing and having to be so careful all the time was difficult but then there was you, ‘us’ and after that nothing really mattered any more. “

Liz watched carefully as that expression of solace slowly faded away.

“Then she came and Nasedo and this insane notion of me being this King. I guess I just always thought naively in the back of my head that we could just stay the way we were. Just three normal kids living out our life here in Roswell only with a very important secret.”

Whispering softly Liz traced the stripes on her pj’s. “Yeah I guess we were both naïve that way.”

They exchanged a small understanding smile acknowledging each other’s pain, for a moment he saw in her eyes a glimpse of hope, a glimmer of some sympathy.

To his dismay it was gone as quickly as it came.

Taking a deep breath his eyes glazed over remembering his state of mind at the time.

“It hurt Liz, the pain was unbearable. The thought that he…. touched you. Made love …”

His voice broke up forcing him to stop, it didn’t matter that he knew now that it was all a lie, the pain that he went through remained just as strong as it ever was. It was imprinted inside him forever.

“Max you can’t use that as an excuse – ‘

Infuriated he stood and began to pace the room. “I’m not but you can’t pretend that what happened didn’t have a huge influence over me. Wasn’t that the whole point?! You’re blaming me for something you pushed me to do!”

Calming himself down he sat back on the bed. “I was destroyed, I needed an escape. What happened …Liz it made me question everything I knew to be true about myself. If something that I felt so strong about, something that I would’ve bet my life was true... wasn’t …where did that leave me?”

Rubbing his tired eyes he shook his head as if trying to understand it himself.

“Being with her, remembering her and that life, it filled a void, a hole inside me.”

Struggling hard to tell her the truth he fisted the comforter almost forcing the words from his throat.

“Yes I remembered her, feelings and emotions and it soothed me. Brought me some kind of comfort. It gave me a place where I felt I could belong …because being out there lost, knowing that you and …well I just couldn’t handle that.”

Tears welled in her eyes as she recalled the prom. “When I saw you kiss her, it was like every fear I had came to life before me.”

Hanging his head he hated how much she was hurting but she still wasn’t getting it.

“Liz, yes I took comfort in her, in a life different then this one, but it didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel the way I felt when I was with you.”

Her lips trembled as she gazed up at him agony visible in her entire body.

“It felt strange, disjointed, forced, like it wasn’t me. Like I was being compelled to feel for her, but I’m not going to lie. It was better than the horrible nothing, that empty sick feeling I walked around with constantly. Maybe she was mind warping me even back then, I really don’t know.”

Taking a deep breath she started to speak again but was quickly cut off.

“You know what? I have some questions of my own. Besides I think I deserve a break.”

Standing he walked towards her window and gazed outside watching the lights as they blurred before his exhausted eyes.

“I want to know what happened. I saw the flashes, saw him, me, but I want to hear it from you. Tell me Liz; explain it to me, because I really need to know. Tell me exactly what happened when my future self came to you.”

Sighing heavily she looked up at him wearily, "But you saw everything."

Turning to face her he whispered slowly.

"I want to hear it from you."

[jake17]

Evans-dreamer: thanks so much for liking this, sorry for the long wait, hope you like what I did
Eve:you are right he really didn't give her much, but that will change I promise, he will have to face up to everything at one point. thanks so much eve!
jojotheorange: sorry i made u wait so long, hope your still interested in this! thanks so much!
Ditte: As always I love seeing you here, I am humbled that you like my little fic, so happy we became friends!
Natalie; yeah, intense should be the title of this fic nat. thanks so much for being here!
angelina: i really hope you like how I wrote this, thanks so much for being your wonderful self sweetie! your the best!
Ginger:everyone is much better! thank u so much for asking ginger! you are so sweet! that was a very rough time, thanks for your support!
Carolyn x2 : hope you like what I did here, I plan to so something very unexpected next update really hope you like it! thanks so much!
6throck: thanks! I hope you like my version!
AvalonRose : So happy you found this and like it! thanks so much!




Thanks so so much for your always sweet fb! Just to let you know I'm going to be finishing up most of my fics so I can concentrate on this one and a bran new one I have coming that I"m so excited about called "Fade into You", so soon I'll be able to update this at least twice a week... thanks so much for all your support!

Also the chpt numbers got screwed up somehow, i'm still trying to figure out what happened. I promise to fix it as soon as I can.





Chapter 10











Suddenly Liz seemed as if she were a million miles away as she pictured the three of them joking, and laughing on their way to the Psychic Maria insisted they see.

How she missed those seemly meaningless days spent with her friends, where they would share their problems, pass around the town's gossip and laugh till they felt sick.

At the time she felt like her life was so boring, that the three of them together on a Saturday night sharing pizza and movies was so pathetic.

What she wouldn't give to have those days back, to feel free and safe again.

What she wouldn't give to have her friend alive again.

It's really such a waste how you don't appreciate those precious moments as they're happening.

Liz raised her eyes up to the ceiling in an attempt to hold back her tears.

What she wouldn’t do to go back to those days, back when they were all naïve as to just how bad life could be.

The memory of that night was so clear that she could almost hear the rain coming down on the windshield and smell the terrible cologne Alex had bought at the local drug store hoping it would impress Isabel.

Bringing her hands to her face she rubbed her forehead trying her best to hold back the grief that always came rushing at her like a thousand knives piercing her heart whenever she thought of him.

Her voice was edgy and slow, hoarse by too many nights spent crying and begging for answers to questions that in the end still wouldn’t make things right between them

Breathing out it hit her, the way it did shortly after Alex’s murder - there is no going back.

“Do you ever feel …stuck Max?”

Narrowing his eyes he shook his head. “I’m not sure if I know what you mean.”

He studied her face closely as she spoke, so caught up in the memory she was experiencing he knew she wouldn't notice.

She looked so jaded, so tired. The innocence, that shone so brightly in her deep inquisitive eyes was no longer there, all he could see was this huge defensive wall invisible to the naked eye but clear as day to him.

“Stuck…like you can’t go back and you can’t move forward. You’re just suspended in a perpetual loop of the mistakes you’ve made, trapped suffering the consequences of those mistakes over and over again.”

"Yes, I can definitely relate to that emotion Liz."

Gazing back at him she smiled briefly realizing that must be exactly how he must be feeling.

That short glace in his direction was enough to start the ache that pulled at his gut whenever he felt even the slightest connection to her.

Glancing at the wall where just last night he had his mouth pressed to her, his heart clenched tight inside his chest.

He realized there would be no peace, no rest, no (as she called it) moving forward without her.

He longed to take her in his arms and hold her close, stroke her hair, just to touch her, and that’s when it occurred to him.

When he stood outside the crashdown just a few minutes ago and watched her she seemed so different, so alive.

His pained eyes drifted to the ground realizing that it was him that had this affect on her.

His betrayal, his coldness, his alien existence that tore her world apart even killing her best friend.

He was a constant reminder of everything wrong and hurtful in her life.

Bringing his attention to her once again he watched as she fiddled with the tie to her apron, pulling the knot out and removing it she threw it in a ball on the floor.

Struggling to get comfortable she unsnapped the first two buttons on her teal uniform and sighed with relief clearly exhausted by her shift.

Cynically she mocked the words of the middle-aged Psychic that predicted her future.

“You will live a long and happy life, you will never be left …wanting.”

Standing she walked over to the lace shawl over her nightstand and held it in her hands.

“I don’t remember the exact words but it was something to that effect. We were to be married and have this passionate, amazing life together…he choices you, he choices love.”

She gave him a quick glance and laughed sarcastically, “What a fool I was.”

Max felt overcome with sadness hearing the bitterness in her voice.

She sounded old before her time, matured by pain and loss, worn by sacrifice and tragedy.

Kicking off her sneakers she lay down on her bed and arched her back while giving her arms a long stretch.

Her face twisted in pain as she groaned from her sore muscles.

The emotional and physical toll was showing itself, gone was the energenic carefree girl that could handle a double shift and still have time to cram for a trig exam and chat with Maria on the phone.

That was another section of her life that was falling to the wayside.

Her relationship with Maria was severely damaged adding yet another weight on her shoulders to carry around.

She wondered briefly if she would forgive her now that she had proof that Alex was murdered, but honestly she was too exhausted to even worry about it.

Watching as her attention coupled by her need for sleep was derailing her thoughts Max gently pulled her back.

"Was that the night that my future self appeared Liz?"

Nodding she reached inside the front of her uniform and unclasped her bra, unaffected by his presence or her usual modesty she pulled one strap down pulled her arm out then did the same to the other side before pulling the entire bra out of her sleeve.

Tossing it on the floor she snuggled anxiously in her bed unable to relax.

Noting his serious somber expression she walked to the bathroom and soaped up a washcloth.

Talking between cold splashs of water on her face she continued her story.

“I came home that night and danced around my room holding this stupid thing on my head, I Elizabeth take you – “

Leaning on the edge of the sink she stared at her reflection as if not recognizing the blood shot tired eyes looking back at her.

Crawling back to bed she lifted the lacy material and held it in front of her recalling how ridiculously happy she was.

Cringing at her pain he couldn’t take it any longer. “Please Liz what happen next? When did he …I mean the future – “

Throwing the pretend veil across the room she folded her arms in front of her.

“Right, no need for details, just get to the point Liz – ‘

Holding his head he felt as if everything he was saying was coming out wrong. “That’s not what I met, I just …”

”No problem because it was right then that I heard this huge sound, like thunder and lightening to the highest degree at all once. I looked up at that window and there he was.”

Touching his face Max ran his fingers through his hair, “Liz, the image I got in my head when we connected, the way I looked, is that …did I look …”

Smiling as if seeing him in her head once more she nodded. “Older? Yes, your hair had streaks of grey and there were wrinkles on the sides of your eyes, crowsfeet I think they call them, but …”

Intrigued by the sadness in her voice he anxiously edged her on. “But what? “

Closing her eyes she lowered her voice pained by the nightmare that his life had delt him that was so upsetting to see.

“You …him … looked tired, worn down by war and loss. You were covered with scars and battle wounds. The boy that I had loved was now a man …a man damaged by way too much suffering, too much loss.”

Confused Max stood and began to pace the room.

“I don’t understand Liz, why did you believe so easily that it was me? Why didn’t you just find me? I could’ve helped you … I could’ve –“

Grabbing a throw pillow off her bed she held it tight to her chest.

“You know what? I’m not doing this if your going to question everything I did and blame me. You weren’t there, you didn’t see his eyes begging for my help, you didn’t hear the stories of how he held Isabel and Michael dead in his arms! So if you’re going to sit here an critique the way I handled the most impossible situation imaginable than you can just leave!”

Falling to his knees by the bed he rested his forehead on her arm.

Clearing her throat she tried to calm herself. "I'm not stupid Max, he knew things, about us, about exactly what was going to happen. at first I thought he was like Nasedo, a shapeshifter ...lets just say he proved me wrong. There wasn't any doubt."

"So, why didn't I - him, go to Michael or Isabel ...why you?"

Breathing out wearily she rolled her eyes. "He looked at me with those soulful incredible eyes, I guess it's a skill you've really mastered over the years Max."

Flipping off her socks she imitated his voice. "It's you that I trust LIz," seeing how unamused he was she continued. "He told me that the closer we became the more ostracized and hurt Tess felt, and eventually she left. I guess this was very dangerous. He said that the royal four needed to be together to fight the enemies that would invade Earth. You were stronger as a unit, and with Tess gone you were no match for them."

Gravely he whispered. "They took over, murdered, caused the destruction of the planet."

Nodding she shrugged her shoulders. "Look i'm sure i'm wording all this wrong but that was the jest of it. So you the future you asked me to ... to get you to fall out of love with me."

Rubbing his eyes he shook his head. "I can't believe I would ever ask that of you."

"Didn't you see this when we...kissed?"

Sighing he groaned in frustration. "It wasn't like that, its like watching a movie in fast motion, out of focus and hightened with emotion you can't even begin to handle. I could see myself in your bathroom, feel myself full of jealousy and worry. Then I was standing behind a wall listening to you and my younger self talking then...kissing."

"Is that all?"

Shaking his head he choked tears back as the most vivid image appeared almost burned behind his eyes.

"I saw us dancing, felt it actually. Felt your young soft body shivering against mine. Memories filled my head, memories of our wedding, every moment, every kiss. it was flooding back into me like waves crashing over and over again inside me."

Sniffing she reached for his hand. "You told me about our wedding night, how it was the happiest time of our life, how we danced all night and how now it would never happen."

Biting her bottom lip holding back her tears she gazed out the window to her balcony. "That's when our wedding song came on the radio, "I shall Believe"."

"You love that song." he replied crushed as he could now remember the sounds and detail of that night not only his feelings and how she felt in his arms.

It wasn't just a memory of something happening to someone else, it was real, he had danced with her, not his future self or a dream, it was his arms that held her and no one could convince him otherwise.

Pulling her knees up to her chin she pointed outside. "Right there, it was right there that I asked you if you would give me that dance, our wedding dance that I would never get to have."

Shaking now his jaw clenched with pain. "I remember, I remember Liz. I knew that we had changed the future for good or bad and that moment would be the last time I would get to hold you in my arms...there are no words to describe how painful that was. How beautiful you were, looking up at me with your eyes so full of love..."

"Max -"

"When we connected and I saw you and Kyle in bed, felt that pain again, that memory of us went by so fast, I didn't understand. I think that seeing you and kyle again hit me so hard because I experienced it in real life. But now ...now that I remember that moment. I can't think of anything more painful. I will hold that memory with me forever."

Whispering compassionately he lightly stroked the skin on her arm just below the cuff of her uniform.

“I’m sorry, I can’t even begin to imagine what that must’ve been like for you. I didn’t mean to question your actions. I didn't understand, but I do now.”

Silently she stared down at his fingers noting how warm and comforting it felt to be touched, she wondered if she was being too hard on him but part of her just didn’t care.

Turning on her side towards him she traced the edge of his jaw, while his hand left her arm and cupped her cheek.

Somehow feeling his tender caresses it became easier to share how hard it was to say all of the horrible things she had to say to try and push him away.

“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. The things I said, hurting you the way I did. It was torture, and what was worse nothing worked.”

Brushing his thumb along her cheekbone he sighed wishing so much he could just kiss her and forget all of this ...if not for just a little while.

“I’m so sorry Liz.” He deep husky tone made her want to curl up inside his big strong arms and hide there forever, but she knew better. There was no hiding from the truth.

Remembering how angry future Max was with her when her first few attempts had failed her eyes drifted back to him.

“You wouldn’t let me go, I was under so much pressure and I just couldn’t understand why it had to be done immediately, why he was so upset that it wasn’t working as fast as he thought it would, and then Future Max said something that I’ll never forget.”

Inching closer to her he laced his fingers through her silky hair pulling the elastic out her ponytail, releasing her long dark hair, causing her to curl up even closer to his broad chest.

“What did he say Liz?”

Locked in his warm concerned eyes she fought against the inner struggle that perpetually tore her apart.

Don’t forget, don’t forget all the pain he’s caused you, don’t let him in…

“He said that we we’re running out of time, that if I didn’t do something to change things that night …it would be too late.”

Gently outlining her eyebrow with the tip of his finger he narrowed his eyes. “I don’t understand.”

“He said that we never made it to the Gomez concert that night.”

Confused he shook his head, “No, that’s impossible Liz, I had that planned for months. I still have the tickets. We were going to the concert.”

“Something must’ve happened, something that caused us to…”

Max couldn’t help the urgency in his voice as he leaned in closer lost as to what she was going to say.

“We made love that night Max.”

Widening his eyes he froze unable to comprehend what she was telling him.

“We made love, and it cemented our relationship, he said that nothing and no one would ever come between us again.”

Tears formed in her eyes as she turned away from him and curled up into a ball in an attempt to comfort herself.

“Ask me again why I did what I did Max… how I could hurt you so bad."

"Liz -"

"No, you wanted to hear it from me, my own words. Do you feel better now? "

Openly sobbing she couldn't escape the image of him staring at her through the window that night, the look of total devastation and betrayal covering his beautiful face.

"I was left with the decision of letting everyone I loved die or breaking your heart and loosing you forever, tell me Max what part of that sounds easy to you? What choice did you really see me left with?"

Standing his throat constricted, his mind went blank lost as to what to say.

Carefully he touched her shoulder urging her to turn around.

That protective wall was strong though, built on too many nights of despair and loneliness.

It wouldn't be easily broken.

[jake17]

Ellie
PML
L-J-L 76
Carolyn
Ginger
jojotheorange
IheartMax
Eve
dreambeliever
angelina
AvalonRose


thank you so much for all your amazing fb, I'm so sorry I've been away from this story for so long, many of my other fics will soon be ending so I'll be able to pay more attention to this one, I hope I didn't lose too many of you during my absence. I just want to also thank all the people who voted for me, I was truly humbled and surprised. Thank you so so much, it really means the world to me

I apologize for the short update, I had a dream about this story so I had to get up and write what was in my head, unfortunately I'm very sleepy so this is all I could muster up, but I promise to be back very soon with more.









Chapter 11









Max felt physically shaken by hearing Liz’s account of his Future self and the devastation he had caused her.

Even after several minutes her words still softly echoed in his head as if they had become a visual image burned forever in his memory.

"I was left with the decision of letting everyone I loved die or breaking your heart and loosing you forever, tell me Max what part of that sounds easy to you? What choice did you really see me left with?"

There was just too much to take in, too many emotions to deal with.

He couldn’t believe that he would do this to her, that he would cause her this much pain, put that much responsibility on her shoulders.

His wife, his world...what kind of man had he become?

The concept of taking the blame for something that he did in the future was just too hard to wrap his brain around.

Should he ask for forgiveness for an action he had not yet done?

How could he hold himself accountable for an act that he truly felt in his heart that he could never put forth?

He was already paying for the devious plans planted in his head by Tess, torn between what was self motivated or manipulated, now he would he have to be held for the incomprehensible events of a man he was not yet to be?

A stabbing pain shot through his head as he tried desperately to sift through all this information that was impossible to discern.

Then something occurred to him that almost brought him to the brink of his own sanity.

Despair washed over him as he began to realize that maybe this is what he would eventually turn into.

He knew that in just the thirteen or so years that he had been living this secret, in this nightmare of fear, it had already began to wear on him.

He had already felt as though he had been through his own emotional war of sorts.

Between having his mind torn apart and controlled, and the terror of the white room, and all the pain he had inflicted to the ones he loved, he couldn’t deny that he had changed.

He had the capacity to be cold and controlling also while harder to admit to himself selfish and possibly paranoid.

Although there were reasons for all of this behavior it horrified him that this possibly foreshadowed a future of much more disastrous implications.

These were real facts that no matter how hard he tried he couldn't argue away.

Was he doomed to this fate, to becoming this person?

A person who would tear apart the young life of his only love, leaving her alone to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders?

Did he have any kind of control over his own will, or was he bound to a destiny that would destroy everyone he loved?

And if not how could he go on knowing how broken and desperate he would become ...how cold and numb living in a world where survival was the only thing that mattered.

He couldn’t imagine what years of real war and death of the people he loved would do to him.

The possibity that he was on a path that no matter what choices he made or good intentions he had would ultimately lead to that man was just inconceivable.

Squeezing his eyes shut he shook his head feeling overwhelming by the concept of judging himself on events that he felt he was condemned to carry out.

It was all too much, at least too much for tonight.

Taking a deep breath he wrapped his arms around her carefully pressing his mouth to her ear.

Whispering softly he urged her to turn and face him.

“Please, Liz... look at me.”

She hesitated for a moment then out of pure exhuastion turned to face him.

Her eyes were fixed on his chest unable to deal with what she would find waiting in his beautiful tortured gaze.

Suddenly a calm, almost peaceful sense of stillness fell between them as if they were the last two people on Earth.

The only sounds were the soft hum of the crickets as the moonlight shone angelically all around her illuminating her beautiful face.

He didn't know if he had lost his mind and finally snapped or if by some miracle he was getting exactly what he desperately needed from the universe.

Whatever it was he didn't care.

He was tired of thinking, or analyzing and calculating every move he had made and ever word he had spoken.

Just one moment of solace, he could almost feel it in his grasp, like a bright red apple high up in a tree and all he had to do was reach up and pluck it down.

It was her... his sanctuary ...she held the answers to everything.

If he could just take comfort in her, hold her ...close his eyes to it all ...at least for just a moment.

He wouldn't ask for forgiveness tonight, he understood his trust would have to be earned; his atonement would take time.

But tonight...he couldn't be alone...couldn't handle being without her.

He knew he had a chance ...just one chance.

Max was going to do everything in his power to seek out his haven in the only place possible...in her arms.

He had faith in them, in the love they would always share, whether together or apart it was the only real thing he had ever felt.

Closing his eyes he began to imagine touching her soft skin, kissing her parted sweet lips ...getting lost in the magic of Liz Parker.

At that moment everything began to fall away, the pain, the deceit, all the hurt...it just began to dissipate.

All he could see was her…

The wisps of chocolate strains of her hair the swept lazily across her pale pink lips, her long dark eyelashes that kissed the rosy hue of her cheeks, her sweet warm breath that he inhaled as if it was the oxygen that he needed to breathe.

Liz was his world, his reason for living ...for existing.

She always had been and the fact that he lost sight of that was beyond his understanding.

All he knew at that moment was that he needed to get back to her, back to where he belonged ....connected to her...home.

His raspy deep voice touched her forcing her to look him in the eyes ....and once she did ...there would be no going back.

LIke the luminous mysterious moon in the heavens beckoning the great ocean tides to its will she was inexplicably drawn to him.

There was no refuting it, even after everything ...after all this time...their bond was unbreakable.

“I can’t take it away, I can’t change it …any of it.”

Her tired eyes filled with tears as she nodded slowly mesmerized by the torment in his voice.

His hand cupped her cheek catching a tear as it spilled over onto her face.

“I don’t know what to say about this future self. I need time …time to sort it all out …to sort everything out. What Tess did to me, how I treated you …what I did to Isabel – “

“Max – “

Holding two fingers gently to her lips he begged her to let him continue.

“Please, I need to say this. I don’t know where to go from here; everything is so muddled and confusing. Everything except one thing, and that one thing is this moment.”

Pressing his forehead to hers he stared deeply into her eyes hoping so much to convey all the feelings and love that he felt for her.

They had hurt each other so much with words that it almost seemed detrimental to use them now.

He would count on the one thing they shared since that fateful day, the day that changed everything, the only thing he could ever really count on, their resilient everlasting connection.

Sweat broke out along his forehead as his face tensed in the grip of focusing all his energy into those endless pools of dark beauty.

Sharp gasps of breath escaped his tight chest as he breathlessly fought with everything he had to break through her defiant wall she had built to protect herself.

Mouthing the words ‘let me in’ his hands shook as he tenderly cradled her face in his gentle hands.

Her mind shouted inside her to be strong, to hold her ground, to not trust again, but her heart began to waver as he consumed her.

A warm sensation rushed through her filling her mind and body with images and feelings that were indisputable and authentic.

He called out to her not with words... but with his soul.

The message was clear – lucid, there was no mistaking what he was declaring to her.

‘The only truth I know right now is that I love you… I need you Liz… I can’t breathe without you.’

The sheer intensity of his honesty and raw vulnerability was almost too much for her to handle as she trembled within his warm hands.

Unable to block her feelings for him any longer she exhaled sharply and reached up to grasp his forearms for support, as if the weight of his stare would cause her to fall.

His intentions were blatant as he revealed his heart to her.

He needed her, to lie next to her – to hold her …to make love to her.

Liz shivered as he shamelessly exposed how terrified he was, how lost... how ashamed and tormented he was at how he had treated her.

She felt deeply the infinite responsibility he put on himself for her pain and suffering, and the endless love and respect that glowed within every recess of his soul for her.

‘If only for tonight, let us take shelter in each other… no pain... no regret... no past or future...

Liz, let us have this one night… I wont ask you for more than that...not now...

not yet...

please...

‘Let me love you.’