Best Fluff Fic(s)
Favourite Lead Portrayal of Tess
Summary: Tess has always had a thing for Kyle, but when she buys him at the slave for a day auction, will it be everything she’s ever dreamed and more?
Disclaimer: The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and UPN. They are not mine and no infringement is intended.
A/N: This is the last in a series of one shots that I like to call, ‘The Slave Series’. The first one is the candy one called Enslaved, the second a stargazer called Slaving Away and the third a dreamer one called Enslave Me. You probably don’t have to read all of them to make sense of this one, but I’d recommend it. I wasn’t going to do any companion pieces to the original, but when I wrote I found that I was really intrigued by the supporting characters. So much so that I wanted to write their stories as well. Isabel was and always will be my favourite from the series. She says stuff that I could never say and I love her for it.
I made up the Mills and Boons romance novel by the way. In case you were wondering and wanted to go look it up. The sad thing is, is that it’s probably the name of a real romance novel.
This is for Killjoy, who doesn’t get nearly enough lamptrimmer loving to satisfy his needs. I’m only sorry that for the purposes of this fic Kyle’s a little bit of a jerk. But not to worry, I’ll cure him of that. This is my first lamptrimming fic, I hope you like.
The Series in Order:
Slaving Away (Stargazer)
Enslave Me (Dreamer)
Gorgeous banner by DreamerLaure.
Day One: Auction Day
“$10,” cried Megan, starting off the bidding.
“$20!” countered Tess, absolutely determined to win Kyle. This was her last shot with him. After this, she would graciously admit defeat and try to move on from him.
The bidding went high, but stalled at the $90 mark. Megan was faltering. Tess inwardly crowed in delight. Megan had been a girl that Kyle had slept with previously and was she clearly angling for a repeat performance. But unlike Tess, she hadn’t saved up for this moment. Tess was well prepared for much higher bidding.
“$100,” Tess bid, earning her a wink from Kyle that had her blushing.
“$110,” said Megan desperately, a last ditch attempt that had Tess almost giggling with glee.
Tess held her head proudly and gave her last bid for the auction. “$120.”
“Do I hear $130? Anyone bid $130? $120, going once. $120 going twice. SOLD! To the curly haired blonde.”
Tess clenched her fists in victory as the audience applauded her winning bid. She took the opportunity to blow a kiss to Kyle that he received with a smirk. She then looked across and took joy in Megan’s despair. She had clearly wanted to win Kyle, but Tess wasn’t about to let that happen. This was her last shot. She needed this to happen.
“Oh gee Isabel, is that sarcasm maybe? I couldn’t tell,” Tess said glibly, too excited from her win to really be annoyed by Isabel’s bitchitude. She was on a high and nothing could pull her down.
“It was sarcasm,” Isabel told her as if she didn’t get it. “Because I don’t think you’ll have a nice day.”
“You make him out to be some kind of mini Hitler,” Tess protested. “What on earth did he ever do to you?”
“I’m not saying he’s necessarily a bad guy, I’m just saying that I don’t think he’s as perfect as you make him out to be.”
“Why are you always ragging on me about him?” demanded Tess, sick of having to constantly defend her crush. “Liz idolises Max and you never say a goddamn word to her about it.”
“That’s because Max is a massive pussy,” Isabel declared with a roll of her eyes. “He is exactly what she thinks he is; a goddamn, sensitive wussbag extraordinaire that cries over sad films and likes to talk about his feelings. That’s what she wants, that’s what she’s getting. Not so with you and Kyle.”
Clamping one hand over Liz’s protesting mouth, Isabel continued onwards with her speech. “Shut up, Liz. Now, if we take a look at Kyle, I honestly don’t think he’s all that you’re making him out to be. I mean, he hits on everyone apart from you. Do you really think he’s that perfect?”
Tess knew that Kyle had hit on Isabel. She had watched him secretly from behind the door way in the kitchen as he’d sexually propositioned her friend. She had waited with baited breath and a heavy, aching heart to hear what Isabel would say in response, knowing full well that Isabel was not someone who took feelings into consideration when she acted. That knowledge coupled with the brash statement that she was going to fuck the first guy that asked her that night due to being horny as fuck, had Tess absolutely devastated. She knew that the unwanted mental image of Isabel and Kyle moaning and groaning and bumping and grinding would haunt her for the rest of her life. But as she watched Isabel turn Kyle down, Tess knew that it was for her.
Isabel had never pretended to be anything other than herself. She was loud, rude and unfeeling. She never sugar coated anything she said and was often harsh in her criticism of others, but when it came down to it, Isabel came through. Tess had had many other friends, who were sweeter, gentler and kinder, but – with the exception of Maria and Liz – none of them had been as trustworthy as Isabel.
“No, I know he’s not perfect,” Tess exclaimed. “I just think he’s perfect for me.”
Isabel let out a long guttural groan that told of her frustration with what she deemed to be Tess’s stupidity. “Whatever. Someday soon he’s going to do something stupid and he’s going to come tumbling down off that pedestal you’ve made for him. I really wonder what would happen if you got together with him and realised that he’s not this perfect person you’ve built up in your mind.”
“I know he’s not perfect,” repeated Tess, adding in a disgruntled mutter, “You’ve only told me twenty million times.”
“What do you see in him?” queried Liz seriously, holding up her hands defensively when Tess glared at her. “I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with him, I just want to know what it is that attracts you to him.”
Tess smiled softly as she remembered that day she had begun to fall for him. “I was walking through the park one day and I saw him with his cousins and there was about six of them all probably under the age of five and all girls. And he was letting them climb all over him and he pretended to be a horse as they rode on his back. He even neighed. I don’t know I just looked at him and my heart just about exploded inside of me.” Tess blushed under the weight of her friends’ stares. “I suppose that sounds really stupid...”
“Yes, it does,” agreed Isabel bluntly as the other two girls vehemently denied her claim. Liz and Maria both clapped their hands to their foreheads as Isabel once again proved herself to be made of stone.
“Thanks Isabel,” Tess muttered. “Just what I needed.”
“I’m not going to lie to you,” Isabel shrugged. “I do a lot of things, but lying isn’t one of them.”
“I know,” Tess told her with a small smile. “Look, I don’t know what it is about him, I just really like him. He’s everything I could look for in a guy, he’s nice, he’s smart and he’s funny...”
“He’s a bit of a curtain wiper,” Isabel told her, drawing an outraged gasp from Tess.
“He is not! You take that back.”
“I calls them like I sees them,” Isabel said unaffectedly, scratching at her chin. “Does this look like I’m getting a pimple to you?”
“Does my face give you the impression that I care?” snapped Tess.
“Ooh,” said Maria, curling her fingers into a claw and then raking them through the air. “Hiss hiss ladies.”
Isabel studied Tess’ face carefully then came to a decision. “No, I suppose it doesn’t. But you should care, because if my popularity goes down because of a zit, then it’s going to make us all look bad. Surely you can see the dilemma in that.”
“Oh yeah,” Tess said, her sarcasm rolling off her in waves. “I’ll lose sleep over that tonight.”
“Good,” Isabel nodded, leaning against the bonnet of her car, looking more like a goddess than anybody should. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”
“That is a real gift,” Liz muttered to Maria. “She just hears whatever she wants to.”
Maria nodded dumbly. “I know. I’m so jealous of it. I wish I had it.”
“I’m bored,” Isabel declared dramatically, pushing herself off the hood of her car and striding over to the driver’s side. “I’m leaving.”
“Liz, you ride with me,” ordered Isabel as she swung herself gracefully into the driver’s seat. “I’m going to give you tips on positions to make sexy time with my brother the best time of your life.”
“Don’t let her take me alive,” Liz whispered in horror, clutching onto both Maria and Tess’s arms tightly.
Isabel honked the horn impatiently and stuck her head out the window to yell, “Hurry up Liz. Stop being such a goddamn fucking prude and get in the car so I can tell you what to do to make yourself wet for my brother.”
Liz’s face burned with embarrassment as the entire car park looked their way.
“You better get in the car, Liz,” suggested Maria, trying desperately not to laugh. “She looks like she’s going to say something even more revolting.”
Liz scampered away with a yelp while Tess and Maria laughed heartily. Tess sighed and they both began to wander over to Maria’s car.
“I’m so glad she’s gone,” Tess said as she hopped into the passenger seat. “I couldn’t take another word from her about Kyle.”
“You know she’s only doing it because it’s her sick way of showing that she cares,” Maria reminded her as she started the car up.
“I know,” Tess sighed despondently. “But don’t you think our lives would be a lot simpler if Isabel Evans didn’t care about us?”
“A lot simpler, maybe,” Maria agreed. “But a lot more boring.”
Day Two: Slave Day
Raising one hand, she knocked sharply on the door as her watch ticked over onto 9:00 am.
“Right on time,” breathed Kyle as he opened the door to let her in, the look in his eyes making Tess feel very nervous... she’d never seen him look at her that way before.
As she closed the door behind her, she suddenly found herself pushed back against the door with a smirking Kyle two inches away from her face. The bag she’d been carrying over her shoulder dropped to the ground.
“Do you want me to kiss you?” he whispered, brushing his nose against hers in a teasing way.
Tess’s breath seized in her chest. She’d waited for this for two years and it was finally coming true. “Yes.”
His mouth swooped down at her admission and closed over hers. Her eyes snapped shut at the first touch of his lips against hers, a moan vibrating up through her throat involuntarily as his hands roamed over her body. He clutched her to him, bringing her even closer as their mouths moved together hungrily. She felt a deep stirring need within her that was finally going to be fulfilled.
He pulled away from her abruptly and surveyed the effect he’d had on her. Puffy lips, eyes glazed over with a hungry need. Oh yeah, that’s what he liked to see.
“Take off your shirt,” he ordered huskily, watching her with lust filled eyes.
Tess shivered at the note of authority in his voice, it was so sexy. She promptly did as she was told, whipping the shirt over her head, leaving her hair in a sexy mess from the sudden action.
“Perfect,” he whispered, tracing one hand down the valley of her breasts down to the buckle of her belt, resting his hand there. “Lose the pants.”
Moving her hands to rest underneath his hand, she paused whilst holding the buckle of her belt and then gave him a saucy look. “Take off your shirt first.”
Kyle grinned at her, then promptly acquiesced to her request. She quickly followed suit, whipping her pants off, then dropping to her knees. She slowly unzipped his pants, loving the look of impatient need that was etched onto his face.
She had imagined what his manhood would look like, but nothing that she had imagined even came close to the real thing.
Grasping it in one hand, she slowly engulfed him in her hot, wet mouth. Kyle shuddered at her slow intake and Tess couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. Every grunt, every moan she induced from her ministrations was music to her ears. It was her that was having such an effect on him. She was the one he wanted right now.
He pulled her to her feet, ran his hands up her thighs and then pulled her underwear down to her knees. She quickly stepped out of them and gasped when he almost immediately lifted her up afterwards, cupping her butt and bracing her back against the door. Her legs automatically wrapped around him and she waited impatiently as he fished a condom out of his back pocket, tore open the packet and rolled it down his erection.
Once he managed to get it on, he kissed Tess once, then pushed into her quickly. Tess’s breath caught in her throat. Kyle was finally inside her. And he felt incredible.
He withdrew only to thrust back in, sending Tess’s eyes rolling back into her head as she clung to his strong shoulders tightly.
He moved inside her quickly and passionately, each thrust creating a dull wooden thud from the door behind Tess’s back. She moaned, tilting her head as he bit down on the tender skin in the curve of her neck.
She’d never felt so aroused in all her life. The pleasure he was bringing out of her was intense and almost too much for her to bear. She always knew that sex with Kyle would be something else, but she never expected this.
It felt like time had stopped and all that existed was just her and Kyle in their own private, erotic bubble. Time and time again their hips met, sending him so deep inside her that she felt like she couldn’t breathe. She soon decided that she didn’t care much for breathing, so long as he kept making her feel this way.
The deep ache within her soon intensified and she began to writhe against him in an animalistic fashion, desperate for something more. Something to help push her over the edge. “Faster,” she breathed.
He complied, moving even faster than he had before until one deep thrust pushed her over the edge, sparking his own orgasm off too.
They panted heavily, clasping onto each other in one sweaty tangle of limbs braced against the door.
After a moment’s recovery, Kyle carried Tess over to the bed, laying her down before lying down next to her. They lay in silence and Tess had never felt so complete. It had been everything she could have hoped for and more. Hot, sweaty, fast and passionate.
“Woo,” said Kyle after a couple of minutes of catching his breath. “Stalker sex is hot.”
Tess sat up abruptly and looked at him, her eyes narrowing. “Excuse me?”
“I was just kidding,” he laughed easily, crossing his hands underneath his head and stretching out.
“That’s what you think of me?” she asked, her eyes brimming with tears. She had copped so much flack over her crush on Kyle, she was almost used to it by now. But to be called a stalker by him after they had shared something so special was too much to bear.
“No, I don’t think you’re a stalker,” he replied quickly, covering his tracks.
“Then why did you say it?” she demanded through gritted teeth.
Kyle shrugged, feeling a little uneasy. He could sense that this was going downhill fast, but he didn’t know how to stop it. “I dunno. Something to say?”
Tess’s eyes narrowed, her heart cracking inside her chest as she stared at him with a mixture of bitter disappointment, heart ache and rage. “You do, don’t you? You honestly think that I’m this crazy, bunny boiling stalker.”
“No, you’re not,” he protested. “But you’ve got to admit that you’re a little bit... clingy.”
“Clingy?” she repeated deathly quietly. “Clingy? The only reason I wanted you was because I mistakenly thought that you were a good guy. Clearly I was very wrong. I can’t believe that it took having sex with you to finally open my eyes! I’ve wasted two years pining after someone who doesn’t even exist. I thought you were sweet, but you’re just a jackass.”
“Tess, wait,” Kyle said, quickly getting up off the bed when he saw Tess begin to throw her clothes back on in a haphazard manner, eager to get away from him.
“Cling onto this!” she just about shrieked as she gave him the finger, tears now tumbling freely down her cheeks. “And while you’re at it, you can cling onto your miserable, lonely, self absorbed life.”
And with that parting shot, she fled out the door, ignoring Kyle’s calls for her to come back and the odd stares she was receiving from the frat boys in the hall.
She had all but admitted through her actions that she was in love with him, so how dare he think that she was a clingy stalker? Stalkers were obsessed, she was just a girl in love. It stung her to think that Kyle thought that way about her, that he could get her so completely wrong. And instead of looking at her very own misjudgement of his character, she preferred to dwell on his.
He had made her feel dirty. Dirty and ashamed. She’d never put so much of herself out there only to have it slammed back in her face so rudely and carelessly.
And it was with this realisation that she began to cry. She threw herself on her bed and cried and cried until she had no tears left. She cried because the perfect first time she had envisioned with Kyle had gone so terribly wrong. She cried because he’d misjudged her. She cried because she’d misjudged him. And she cried because Isabel had been right, and that was always something to cry about.
She had put Kyle up on a pedestal only to find out that he wasn’t as marvellous as she’d previously thought. And that realisation stung more than anything.
She knew she was partly to blame in all this, assuming that she’d found the perfect guy. What she couldn’t fathom now was how she had convinced herself that he was perfect when she’d been sitting under his nose for two years while he had sown his wild oats with sluts. Surely the thought must have occurred to her that the perfect guy wouldn’t be a voracious slut? It shamed her to realise that it hadn’t. Not once had ever looked at his behaviour and seen it as the true reflection of the man inside. She had made excuses for his behaviour and kept him up there on his pedestal, when she should have realised that he was just another regular guy with flaws and imperfections like herself.
And she was more in touch with her flaws than she had ever been.
Rising from her bed, she scrubbed at her eyes in front of the mirror and fervently wished that she could just forget this entire day. She wanted to call Liz and cry on her shoulder, but she wasn’t about to ruin her friend’s day with her crush. Just because things went terribly wrong with her and Kyle, she wasn’t going to make that happen with Max and Liz. She could call Maria, but Maria was on a crusade to humiliate Michael, which meant she probably wasn’t feeling too compassionate today. And as for Isabel... well she wasn’t even an option. The day Isabel was compassionate and sympathetic was the day Liz Parker turned into Adolf Hitler II.
An urgent knock at the door broke in her reverie and she considered not opening it, knowing that it was probably Kyle. But her pride made her stiffen her shoulders and march over to the door. She had never hid from anything in her life and she wasn’t about to start now. Especially not for some dumb frat boy with stupid hair.
Tess sighed as she opened the door and came face to face with a nervous looking Kyle. “What do you want?”
Kyle shifted uneasily from one foot to the other, noticing the puffy redness around her eyes and hating that he put that there. “I wanted to apologise for the things I said. I know you’re not really like that. So, I’m sorry.”
Tess stared at him for a moment, making him very uneasy. After a long while spent making him sweat, she said, “Thanks.”
She then began to shut the door, but Kyle’s hand snaked out and blocked its closing. “Wait,” he demanded. “Can we talk?”
“Why?” she asked flatly. “Want to call me a clingy stalker again?”
Kyle winced at her words, but he knew he deserved them. “Look, I am really sorry for calling you that. In my defence I had just had sex so the blood had rushed elsewhere and left my brain destitute. And I’m a guy so I’m bound to do dumb shit now and then.”
At her unimpressed stare, he hurriedly added on, “And on top of that, I’m also very stupid.”
Tess let out a breath of laughter at that and Kyle heaved a sigh of relief at the sight of it.
“That you are.”
“Very, very stupid,” he told her meekly, coaxing another laugh from her.
As she calmed down, she glanced at her watch and offered him an olive branch. “I still have about 12 hours in which to do as I please with you.”
“It’d be silly to waste a whole day of servitude,” he said very seriously. It had taken him two hours to find which dorm Tess lived in and he wasn’t about to go home and renege on his part of the deal just because he’d been stupid and hurt her feelings.
“I did pay $120...”
Kyle smiled hopefully at her. “You may as well use it to the fullest.”
“How about you come in and I’ll let you make it up to me?”
“Yes master,” he said with a grin, relieved to be back in her good graces. He walked in and shut the door behind him, pleased that she had forgiven him. While normally he didn’t care about his one night stands, he knew that Tess was different. He knew that she had feelings for him, so to use them against her just to get some tail wasn’t something he was proud of. Though in all fairness, that hadn’t been what he was doing. To be completely honest, he didn’t know what he was thinking. He just knew that he wanted her and had been putting off having her for a very long time.
“Get dressed,” she ordered, pulling something out of the bag she’d taken with her to Kyle’s in the hopes that it would make him want her more.
“Dear god... it looks like an oversized diaper,” he exclaimed, holding up the brown cloth while he examined it.
“It’s a loincloth. I’m thinking a kinda Cleopatra scene with you fanning me and feeding me grapes. But it’s too cold for fanning and I’d prefer chocolate to grapes. So, get to it. I’ll be waiting. And when you get back, you can feed me chocolate while I lie on my bed.”
Kyle snorted a little at the image but dutifully went about her orders. She deserved to get what she wanted, he wasn’t about to argue with her.
“How do I look?” Kyle asked as he strutted out of her bathroom wearing his loincloth. Unlike others, he liked a bit of exhibitionism. And this loincloth made him feel like Tarzan, which was always a good thing.
“You look like my very own slave,” smiled Tess.
“A slave huh?” Kyle frowned. “I was going for sexy.”
“Can’t win ‘em all. No get over here and feed me.”
Scooting over to her, Kyle snapped off a piece of the brown confection from the block and gingerly placed it on her awaiting tongue, watching with interest as she took it into her mouth and sucked, her eyes closing with pleasure.
He couldn’t believe that he wanted her again already. Sure, it had been about two hours ago that she had stormed out of his room making him feel like a complete douche bag, but usually once Kyle had been with a girl, he wasn’t particularly interested in going back there again.
Clicking her fingers, Tess gestured to her minibar in the corner of her room. “There’s lemonade in there. I’m feeling thirsty.”
Tess tried not to look as he bent down, showing off his impressive glutes in his almost too small loincloth. She looked away determinedly till he returned, handing her a glass of lemonade. She took a sip then rested the glass on her bedside table.
“You know, you look very cheerful for an indentured servant,” she commented.
“I take my penance with a smile.”
“I’d rather you took it with a grimace so that I could be sure you were suffering,” she remarked offhandedly, opening her mouth so that he could feed her another piece of chocolate.
“How’s this?” he asked, putting on an affected look of pain whilst placing another chocolate on the tip of her tongue.
She laughed at his contorted features that were twisted in unfathomable ways. “Nice. Keep that look going.”
“Really?” he asked. “Because it’s hard to keep that look going for more than ten seconds. My face begins to ache.”
“Such a complainer,” she sighed, opening her mouth once more, moaning as he deposited another piece into her mouth. Kyle shifted uneasily at the erotic sound, trying hard not to think about the position they’d been in a couple of hours previously. “My last slave didn’t bitch this much.”
“What happened to that slave?”
Tess shrugged, leaning back on her bed comfortably. “He died.”
“Of what?” Kyle asked sarcastically. “Overwork?”
Tess shook her head and stretched out languorously, her shirt riding up. Kyle tried not to look, but failed miserably.
“The syph. He was a bit of a slut. He got with Isabel’s slave and you just know that Isabel’s slave is gonna be crawling with diseases. It was his own fault really.”
“Oh of course,” Kyle laughed, all the while wondering how he had managed to miss Tess’s sense of humour. He wondered what else he didn’t know about her. “Does that mean that Alex is now going to become crawling with diseases?”
“He’s only doing it for day. I think you’d have to be at it for over a week before you really start getting all the nasty bugs.”
“Lucky for Alex,” smiled Kyle. “Or unlucky. I think Isabel’s going to be way too much for him. The kid’s as shy as can be.”
“Really?” asked Tess, her eyes lighting up. “So he won’t hit on her because he’s shy?”
Kyle shrugged. “Yeah, probably. I couldn’t imagine him even talking to a girl, let alone hitting on her.”
Tess burst into hysterical laughter, shocking Kyle. “Oh. My. God. She is going to be so pissed!” Her laughter slowed as she realised what this meant for Alex. “Oh... poor Alex. He’s going to be eaten alive.”
“Oh well,” Kyle shrugged. “It’s only for a day. How much damage can she do in a day?”
“More than you know,” Tess whispered shaking her head. “Look, I love her, she’s one of my best friends... but she’s insufferable. If Alex makes it out of this day alive, then I’ll shake his hand.”
“Poor Alex,” murmured Kyle, reaching for her chocolate again. “More?”
“Yes,” she said brightly, deciding that even off of his pedestal, Kyle wasn’t so bad.
He found it odd that the same woman that he’d roughly fucked against his door that morning could look so innocent hours later. Most women that he’d been with could never regain that sense of mystique with him. Once he’d seen their ‘O’ face, that was usually it. His interest was gone. But Tess... there was something about her that he couldn’t quite get a grasp on. She was so contradictory.
“Read to me,” she demanded, her eyes flicking to the book on her bedside table.
Kyle grasped the book, keeping his thumb in place so as not to lose the page as he sat down. He opened the book and began to read from the top of the page, not bothering to look at the name of the book or even notice the front cover’s illustrations. “Leonora gazed in wonderment at the pink, fleshy mountain protruding from his groin and wondered how on earth she could fit it all inside her.”
Kyle paused, his mind reviewing what he’d just said. He quickly flipped the book over so that he could look at the front cover and finally noticed the Fabio look alike with a billowing silk shirt standing proudly on the bow of a ship with a lusty maiden in his arms. “The Mistress’s Temptation,” he read aloud from the front cover. “Mills and Boons.”
“Keep reading,” Tess said, her tone brooking no refusal.
Sighing, he turned back to the page and read the next line. “Horace gazed at her heaving bre-”
Kyle cut off abruptly and stared at Tess incredulously. “Horace? The hero’s name is fucking Horace? What kind of bullshit is this?”
Tess gave him a disinterested glance before closing her eyes again. “It’s a period piece. People had names like that back then.”
“I know why it’s called a period piece,” Kyle muttered. “Because only people who get their periods would want to read this.”
“It’s a romance novel, you sexist dick!” Tess cried out in aggravation, twisting her body slightly on the bed so that she could kick him. “I know that romance is a term that you’re unfamiliar with but-”
“It’s not a romance novel,” Kyle interjected. “It’s a porno. It’s porn for women. I mean, listen to this, ‘Horace surged within her, filling her up again and again until she cried out from the ecstasy of too much pleasure.’ Surged? Who the fuck surges? Come here baby, let me surge you. It’s utter bullshit.”
“They say surge so that they don’t say, ‘Kyle thrust twice, spooged, got up off the bed, wiped his dick on the curtains and then went and made himself a sandwich.’ It’s erotic fiction, people don’t want to hear the words ‘humped’ or ‘jizzed’ or any other word like that because it’s not sexy.”
“You know I’m definitely not a one minute man,” Kyle protested, not having heard the rest of what she had said. His mind was still stuck on her insinuation that he was a premature ejaculator, which was the biggest injustice he’d ever heard.
“That still doesn’t make you a romantic,” Tess told him lightly.
“You know what people who are reading this shit should do?” Kyle asked, looking at the book with bewilderment, as if he couldn’t quite grasp why anyone would want to read it.
“Please tell me,” she said, her voice thick with sarcasm. “I’m dying to know what a guy who plays Halo 2 for hours at a time thinks romance novel readers should do with their time.”
“They should go and have some actual sex,” he declared, totally ignoring her jibe about his Halo playing habits. “And while we’re at it... who the fuck wipes their dick on the curtains post coitus?”
“Oh,” Tess laughed, flushing a little. “I suppose I should explain that one. You see, Isabel had a fling with this guy once and when he was done – no joke – he got up and wiped his dick on her curtains. So ever since then curtain wipers has become our nickname for any bad date we have.”
Kyle blinked a couple of times, then began to laugh. “Oh my god... that guy has brass balls the size of basketballs. What did Isabel do?”
Tess rolled her eyes as she recalled Isabel’s reaction. “Well, Isabel isn’t really too fond of social niceties, so she thought he was amazing. They went out three more times, which is probably the longest relationship she’s ever had...”
“So why aren’t they producing horrendous offspring as we speak?”
“He blew her off to watch a basketball game and nobody blows Isabel Evans off. So there endeth that. Besides, Isabel needs someone to mellow her down, not encourage her awful behaviour. Plus, she had to wash her curtains each time they did it in her room.”
“That is... really... disturbing,” Kyle eventually proclaimed.
“I know,” Tess said, nudging him with her foot. “Now hurry up and read.”
Kyle groaned and slapped the book to his forehead. “Oh Christ... do I have to?”
Tess levelled a stare at him with one beady eye. “Yes. And you’re already on thin ice with me buddy, so don’t push it.”
Kyle exhaled noisily then began to read about Leonora and Horace and their amazing sex. What was most disturbing to him was that after 50 pages he was actually intrigued as to what would happen in the plot. He found that he wanted to know if Leonora’s husband would ever find out about the two lovers and whether or not Horace’s mad brother would exact revenge upon him for sending him to the madhouse.
“Hey, can I stop reading this now?” Kyle begged, flipping through the pages, wondering how many more he had left to go. “I’m kinda scared because I’m actually getting into it.” He looked up when his request was only met with silence. Somewhere in between the two lovers’ romantic tryst and the duel with pistols she had fallen asleep.
Kyle smiled and picked up the blanket on the end of her bed, draping it carefully over her. She looked tired and could probably do with a nap.
He felt a small bit of male pride at the thought that he had added to that exhaustion, but quickly squashed it, knowing that she wouldn’t be too impressed with his thoughts if she knew what he was thinking. And since he had a dumb tendency to blurt out whatever he was thinking, it was best that he didn’t think about it at all.
He sighed and tried to think of something to do. He didn’t want to touch anything in her room in case he stumbled across something that he shouldn’t, so instead he did something he thought that he’d never do. He sat down and began to read the rest of ‘The Mistress’s Temptation’.
“Admit it, you were glad Horace and Leonora got together,” she said, enjoying the guilty start he gave when her voice broke the silence.
“I wasn’t-” he began, breaking off when he saw Tess’s glibly amused look.
“Don’t even try. I’ve been watching you for the past five minutes.”
Kyle sighed and dropped the book onto the floor. “I think I have to go turn in my man card now. I can no longer call myself a guy.”
“Oh please,” said Tess, picking up the book to hit him softly over the head with it. “This book has gun fights, murder, violence, espionage and sex. How much more manly can you get?”
“Huh, I never thought of it that way,” Kyle mused, thankful for Tess’s perspective on it.
They began to talk about books that they had read and Tess was surprised to learn that Kyle was a voracious reader. She would never have picked him as a literature lover, but then she guessed that there was a lot about him that she didn’t know.
Kyle had never felt more at ease talking to a woman that he was sexually attracted to in his life. He knew that he wanted her, even though he’d already had her once today, but he was still able to carry on a decent conversation with her. She didn’t crap on about clothes, shoes or makeup like he assumed women would do when he talked to them. He avoided talking to women as much as possible for that very reason. Growing up with a single father had left him with very strange misconceptions about women and the way they acted. He was glad that all his preconceived ideas about Tess seemed to be completely wrong thus far. She was interesting and funny and smart to boot. Kyle was now kicking himself even harder for the way he had acted that morning.
“Can you grab me my lemonade please? It’s probably gone flat now, but I’ll still drink it anyway.”
Kyle reached over to grab the glass, but his hand stopped in mid air as he eyes took in something he really didn’t want to see.
She saw the look of disappointment cross his face and she wondered what was wrong.
“What?” she asked, trying to spot what he was looking at that made him look that way.
“It’s midnight,” he said softly, glancing at the clock.
“Tess...” began Kyle, not knowing where to begin. “I’m sorry for this morning.”
Tess quickly interrupted him, not wanting to rehash what had been a very mortifying moment for her. “Kyle, let’s not go there.”
Kyle shot her an apologetic look. “No, I want to explain. I think I have to.”
Tess let out a huff and sank down onto the bed, preparing herself for misery of the acutest kind. She didn’t deal well with embarrassment, she never had.
“When you came to me this morning I had finally decided to give in, to just see what happens. And then afterwards... I guess I was scared or something. I always knew that you wouldn’t be just another one night stand, so I kept you on the shelf because I wasn’t sure that I was ready for something like that. And when it happened this morning I felt things, things that I’d never felt before. And so I said the most stupid thing I could possibly have said. But now, when I think of all those other girls that I thought I’d be missing out on... I don’t feel anything. I don’t want anyone else. I look at you and I feel all these strange things and I don’t want to give that up.”
“Kyle,” she whispered, touched by his words.
“I’m not done,” he said. “I know I don’t deserve it, but I just wanted to say that if you ever felt like giving me a second chance, I’d be more than grateful.”
Kyle didn’t have a chance to say anymore, because his lips were soon occupied by the blonde girl who had launched herself in his lap. He stiffened in surprise under Tess’s assault, but then relaxed kissing her back, only without the ferocity of the previous altercation. He needed to prove to her that could make love to her gently and carefully. She needed to know that she was delicate and precious. And he was just the man to do it.
Laying her back gently on the bed, Kyle convinced her over and over again.
She winced as her phone shone brightly in her face telling her she had a new text message. It was 4:00 in the morning and she’d only had an hour’s sleep. Who in the hell would be sending her text messages at this hour in the morning? She opened it, smiling slightly as Kyle snuffled on her pillow.
I have a boyfriend. Better prepare yourself for an extra cold winter because hell has just frozen over. Alex and I are doing it right now while you read this message.
Tess went from shock to disgust in a matter of seconds as she read the message. Sure, she had heard Isabel a lot through the walls whilst they had had their competitions, but she had been occupied herself then. Now she couldn’t the image out of her head.
Thank you for the lovely visual. You’ll be pleased to know that Kyle had to grovel to get me.
Tess didn’t feel bad for omitting the part about Kyle fulfilling Isabel’s prediction concerning his jackassery in the morning. Isabel was right too often. Tess wasn’t about to add to her sense of self importance.
Good for you. I hope his cock is big. Alex’s is. It’s inside me as I’m writing this.
Tess curled her lip up in disgust as read that message.
“What’s wrong?” Kyle asked sleepily as he reached for her cell.
“Oh no,” she laughed, pulling the phone away and moving it out of his reach. “You don’t get to read Isabel’s messages.”
“Because she’s vile a lot of the time,” she said simply, responding to Isabel’s message.
And what does Alex think about you being preoccupied by texting me?
Isabel’s message took another five minutes to arrive, so Tess thought that maybe Alex was doing better in the bed stakes than she had previously envisioned. Isabel was the fastest texter known to mankind and if he had distracted her then he must be really good.
I told him that I told you that his dick was big. He just blushed and smiled. I figure in Alex speak that means, “Thank you, please continue talking about my manhood in pleasing terms.” My god, he’s really good in bed.
Tess rolled her eyes, unable to stop the smile that crossed her face. Isabel sure was something else.
Good for you. Tell Alex I said hi. Or don’t. It’ll probably freak him out. Tell him when you’ve stopped doing the rumpy pumpy.
“Is she texting you while she’s having sex?” Kyle asked as he read over her shoulder.
Kyle shook his head in amazement. “How does she manage to text and have sex at the same time? My brain doesn’t function at all during sex.”
“That’s nothing,” she scoffed. “One time she called me during sex to make sure that we had all the supplies for Maria’s surprise birthday party. She even orgasmed whilst on the phone to me, then continued talking like it was the most normal thing in the world.”
Kyle paused in the midst of wiping the sleep from his eyes. “Oh my god...”
“I know. Isabel thought I was lucky to be included in on it. She told me that it was like phone sex, but way hotter. I told her it was phone rape.”
“Is she seriously like that all the time?” Kyle asked, a look of disbelief on his face.
“She thinks talking about finding a split end in her pubes is perfectly acceptable dinnertime conversation,” Tess explained, letting him make his own decisions.
“I would have pinned her as a waxed sort of girl,” Kyle said thoughtfully, earning him an elbow from Tess.
“Kyle, just as a general hint, if you’re serious about wanting to have a relationship with me then you shouldn’t imagine my friends’ genitals, ok?”
“It wasn’t an erotic image,” Kyle said defensively. “She just strikes me as the type.”
“She has a landing strip,” Tess grunted. “And please don’t ask me how I know that.”
Kyle grinned, already suspecting the answer. “She showed it to you, didn’t she?”
“I refuse to dignify that with a response,” Tess sniffed.
Tess struck Kyle with the back of her hand when he quickly gave way to the laughter he’d been holding in. “You shouldn’t laugh. Seriously, she does so many things that could be classed as sexual assault and she doesn’t even see that they’re wrong. She just thinks I’m a prude.”
Kyle rolled onto his side and rested his head on his hand. “Well, you’re not a prude. You’re gorgeous.”
Tess smiled warmly at him. “Aw. You know what? Occasionally you emerge from Retardville and say something really sweet.”
Kyle frowned, his brows creasing as he ran a hand through his sleep messed hair. “Thanks, I think.”
“Hey, you want to give Isabel and Alex some competition?”
“I don’t know,” said Kyle, tapping his finger to his lips, pretending to muse upon the question. “I’ll have to think about it.”
Tess shrugged nonchalantly and lay down, stretching out with a yawn. “Let me know what you decide.”
There was a moment’s pause and then Kyle leapt on her, producing a squeal from her that quickly turned into a moan. He was really very good with his hands.
She got a boyfriend with a cute butt and great hands all for $120. What a bargain.