And I promise, some things change soon... Hugs for lyra, she always does her job very fast :]
11.
72 hours. How much can change in that time? Sometimes a lot, sometimes nothing. Sometimes 72 hours are just like any other 72 hours. And I feel like that right now. My life has swung and turned over in three days... and it took me another three days to stop my headache. Useless.
Till saturday night everyone is walking around me on tiptoes. Really. Nancy and Jeff treat me like I will be blown by the lightest wind of bad mood. If we talk it's just about simple, daily things. They're avoiding every other subject. And they're not mentioning last saturday at all. Moreover, when they think I'm not looking, they exchange those worried glances. It seems that there’s a lot more to tell, but they're affraid of it.
My mood doesn't help them. Like never before, I was a total rainbow of humour, fury etc... I’ve said everything that would have never come from my mouth – harmful words, painful. And they took it all with silence. I try to provoke a real argument, but it’s useless. I want to clean the atmosphere, but I just make it worse. I can't push them so far. Even if one of them seems to crack, the other is right beside and together they are too strong for me to break them. It's becoming frustrating.
72 hours of noise in my head made me an outsider. I'm not going to school which, thank God, keeps the Czechoslovakians far away from me. Maria, Alex and Kyle also keep away from me and don't ask about a thing. I know that Maria is dying from curiosity about who Alec is and why he's living with us, but right now it's not my biggest problem. Well, even catching my attackers doesn't mean anything to me. Although it’s been a few days since my night with Kyle, I still don't want to face Max. Moreover, Alec is always right behind me and the whole Roswell probably thinks we're a couple. We laugh sometimes that gossip doesn't need much information to develop, but he's too good at manipulating other people’s opinion. Max G. cares about my safety, so she can handle every story, even if it makes me girlfriend of 494, as long as he's protecting me 24 hours a day. And he does.
It's even nice to have so much attention from someone. Of course not in romantic way, but still. Everybody cares about me like I'm priceless. Before... before I felt Max's gaze on me, full of love and care. It made me feel beautiful, loved, wanted, even if we weren't together at that time. I saw his soul, hi heart. Sure it hurts when the love of your life is walking away. But when the story about Manticore came up, something else caught my attention. Thinking about what else the Parkers could tell me about keeps my thoughts away from missing Max. I try not to think about it. I push it aside. I know that pain won't go away, but I try to ignore it. The story of my origin makes me crazy.
So many questions, so few answers. And when I see another change of looks between Jeff and Nancy I feel like the earth is moving. Nothing is for sure... well, maybe something is. Through all that chaos, also called my life, there is a sure thing. Jeff. Nothing changed between us, despite this whole Big Lie. I was sure it would be different. But no, he still treats me like his little girl. He seems to be even more protective.
Maybe I'm paranoid, or in psychotic shock, but I swear that Jeff took Alec for a serious, man talk. Why do I think so? It's easy. Since that evening my dad doesn't look like he just wants to kill Alec for voice his joke.
So Alec's attention is all on me or on my safety. Dad tries to not show that my origin changes something. I really admire him for his stubborness and tolerancy. Most of the people wouldn't take well the fact that their daughter is a genetic experiment. Well, my dad is special. Not like anybody else.
I giggle. I'm not like anybody else either. What an irony!
"What's so funny?" Jeff takes all the orders and takes them to the kitchen. Because offically I'm still in a bad condition – the headache is a great excuse – I'm not in school, and even not at work. I sit at the Crashdown behind the counter. I put glasses on the tray, because Agnes can’t even come close to them. It's better if someone else is carrying them.
Alec takes the glasses. Because he spends most of his time with me, he helps in the restaurant. We can't argue 24 hours a day, right? Plus, he's fast, good with his hands and most girls come here because of him. But unfortunately, for them, he's not taking orders. He said no to the silver apron and antenas, although I tried to convince him...
"Nothing. I just realised that I always thought I'm normal, a corny girl with boring life. And how wrong was I... well it took me a few moments to understand that. I still can't believe that I didn't have any clue."
"Maybe one december week helped you with that?" Alec's voice is low and it makes me shiver. But I would prefer to die or to be caught by White than to show him how he makes me feel.
White? Yes, yes, I already know how the man that hunts us is called.
"Jelous?" I ask. Alec shakes his head.
"I’ve seen Max in that state too many times before. I wouldn't want to act like her."
"You sure?" I laugh.
Alec leaves with another tray with glasses and then comes back, with an answer. "Having an attack every few weeks? It can be interesting, really..." he murmurs. And suddenly I don't want him to continue. His erotic life isn't a subject I would like to talk about, especialy with my dad near. Plus, my parents don't know about my two “heats”.
I take Alec by the hand and drag him out.
"Flinching?" he challenges me. I shake my head. This man is making it really hard to... oh, forget it. I have no choice. I know that there are other two X5 in town – Biggs and Cece, but I haven't met them. Not yet. It's Alec who is best with his hands, right?
I sigh.
"Think what you want, just don't say it aloud when my dad's near. He just threatened Max with a shotgun!"
"He's not your father." Alec chuckles "And that's the problem. He's attached to you more than he would be to his own children, if he had them. His guardianship is worse than Nancy's distrust towards Max."
"I know. But that's not the point. Stop all those comments when he's near. I wouldn't like to explain to Max and Logan, why my parents suddenly changed their mind."
"Are you threathening me?"
"No," I say. "I'm just telling you that my parents still think they can decide about my life. And dad doesn't like our comments, that's for sure."
"That's the problem," Alec mutters "You can take everything, every news about your origin, but when it comes to your little family or someone you love, you change into a harpy. You're overprotective."
"Is that wrong?" I sit on the stairs.
"No. As long as it doesn't affect your logic and safety. Apparently the fact that you're not Jeff's daughter is more important to you than the fact of your genetically empowered immunity to the virus, which kills Logan. Ok, I can understand that. You lived for seventeen years not knowing who you are. But you won't survive another seventeen years, if you don't learn to forget about some things. People in Roswell gossip. Who cares? Not me. And you shouldn't care either, unless it's dangerous for your safety or the Parker's safety. Got it?"
Why do I feel like a little kid? I close my eyes and count to ten. It's not helping. I still feel like an amateour, who doesn't know anything about life. How the hell did Alec learn how to manipulate others? One word, one sentence from him makes me feel small or sends all my worries away.
"Got it," I say. "I know I have a lot to learn, but I can't change in one week. Knowledge about something doesn't make my feelings change, Alec." It's not his fault that I didn't know all those things. Besides, maybe I should have already learnt something after a year of hiding the aliens’ secret. People could always read my face and I had difficulties with lying. It was my mistake.
Alec looks at me one more time.
"I'll be in the diner, if you need me."
He closes the door behind him. I move my knees near my face. I sit like that for a moment, until I hear something. It's like a clearing throat. I look up and see Kyle, glancing at me.
"Hey, Budda boy." I smile. Three days. It's our record of not talking to each other. Not bad. I feel warmth when I realise it was Kyle who broke the silence. He always was a great guy – I knew about it when we were together but I only realised that after the whole destiny thing. Plus, he is really a great friend, he helped me.
"Hey, Liz," he says. I smile at him. True smile. But it doesn't make him feel more comfortable. "Am I disturbing you?"
"Of course not! It's nice that somebody is finally interested in what the First Dame Of Roswellian Gossip does."
Kyle makes a face.
"Yeah, I heard that Pam is using her tongue. I'm not her favourite subject now, you and that mysterious Alec are."
"It's hard not to notice. So... how you're doing?"
He shrugs and sits beside me. Finally he understood I don't want to move.
"Nothing new. Max is not talking to me and doesn't look at me. School is booming about your mysterious guest and your absence. Maria and Michael made up, especially since Courtney admitted she's a Skin..."
"What?" I ask disbelieving. Kyle looks at me shocked.
"Nobody has told you?!?"
"No," I say slowly, "Maria hasn't spoke to me since I called off our shopping last Saturday. Isabel is an ice princess, and Michael saw enough to not talk to me. Alex is occupied with his trip to Sweden. We talked on the phone, but it was just a simple chat."
"Courtney is a Skin. Apparently there are some some fans of Czechoslovakians. But anyway, I didn't come here to talk about her. How are you feeling? My dad told me an hour ago. Amy is keeping his mind somewhere else, I guess," he giggles.
"Hey, my second name is like your future step-mother."
"Women..." he sighs.
For a moment we sit in silence, until I decide to ask him first.
"How much of my talk with Alec have you heard?"
He freezes.
"Enough to be completely shocked."
He moves uncomfortably on the stairs. I know it's not the best place to sit, but it's perfect for thinking.
"Since when...? When did you find out?"
"Last week." I shrug, but I sense the pain in my voice "They told me, they didn't have a choice."
Kyle thinks about what to say and what to keep to himself. He probably has a lot of questions.
"And your mom...?"
"You see any similarity?"
Kyle blushes and I know I was too sharp. Nothing better than to take it all on my only friend, who holds his hand to support me. You're a genius, Liz.
"She carried me, if that's what you’re asking. She met Jeff in her third month of pregnancy. You know, he never asked who was the man that left mom pregnant?" I say. Yes. Since I can't take it all on him, maybe I will tell him about my other feelings. There's enough of them. "You imagine that? He didn't ask, cause she didn't want that kind of questions and he respected that. He married her four months later and brought her here to Roswell. Then I was born and he treated me like his own child. He's even more overprotective right now, when I know the truth. The world turned upside down!"
Kyle sighs dramatically.
"I would like to find some wise words of Budda right now, but I guess I don't have any good quote. But I can lend you my copy of Budda for Beginners."
"No way!" I stab him in ribs and we laugh. For the next few minutes I tell him a modified story. It's scary, how fast the lies come from my mouth. Alec is right. It comes too easy. So I tell Kyle that my family found me, because I could be a donor for a sick cousin. Valenti laughs, when I deny being related with Alec.
"You know, it's good you put Evans away. The way Alec is looking at you tells me that you won't be friends for long. Plus, he's not Czechoslovakian. So you won't be living in an antigovernment swamp."
I smile wickedly. If he only knew...
