When the Rain Begins to Fall (DA-XO,UC,ADULT) AN (2/22)[WIP]

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Post by Calinia » Fri Jun 18, 2004 5:14 am

Hey guys, sorry for not updating earlier. I wanted to, I swear, but somehow I couldn't find a free minute to do it. But I'm pretty sure this part will make up for it. Oh and remember the rating of this story before you go on reading... :P

Anyway, thanks for all your wonderful feedback. To answer some of your questions, Max will come around eventually. It's just that a) she doesn't exactly have a lot of female friends, so that's an issue when it comes to accepting Liz b) she really cares for Joshua, so she's afraid that he might get hurt and c) it's hard for her to believe that somebody wouldn't somehow try to use the information Liz has to their own advantage. But, as I said she'll come around.

lol, I never thought of the A/L relationship resembling the M/M one, but I guss you're right. Only that the roles are reversed and Liz is pulling off a Michael here.

Well, here's the part. Next one will be up next week. Hope you like!

Part 11

“Hello?” she says. My breath hitches in my throat. “Hello?” she says again. She waits a beat. “Liz, is that you? Baby, please say something.” She sounds so desperate tears come to my eyes. I have to swallow before I can reply.

“Yeah mom, it’s me.” My voice is shaking, and I take a deep breath, trying to steady it.

She gasps, or maybe it’s a sob, I’m not sure. “Jeff!” she shouts. “Jeff, it’s Liz!”

A second later I hear my dad’s voice. “Lizzie sweetie, is that really you?”

“Yeah,” I say again. “It’s me.”

“Liz, where are you?” he asks using his most authoritarian tone. “No matter where you are, we’re going to come straight to you to pick you up.”

It takes a moment till I can answer. “Daddy, I’m not coming home. I can’t.”

“Liz,” my mom pleads. “Please, be reasonable. Whatever the reason is why you left, we’ll figure something out. Are you pregnant? Is it that?”

“What?!” I exclaim. “No!” Jesus, my parents have a nice opinion of me.

Now my dad speaks up. “Did you run off with Max? Did you elope?”

“With Ma- are you insane?” I ask, not caring that you normally don’t say something like that to your parents.

“Liz, you and Max disappeared on the same night,” my mother points out. “Do you think your father and I are stupid?”

“Mom, I did not leave with Max. I don’t know where he is, and my leaving has nothing to do with his,” I insist. Christ, me and Max eloping? Like hell.

My mom takes a deep breath while my father takes over the conversation. “Liz, we’re not mad at you, we’re just worried. We know it’s been hard on you, with Alex’s accident and everything. But running away isn’t the solution. Come home sweetie, please.”

Oh, why do they have to make this so hard for me? “Daddy, I can’t. At least not yet. I have good reasons for staying away, really. I have something I need to take care of, but once I have…I’ll come home, okay? I promise.”

“Liz-” my dad begins, but I cut him off.

“I have to go. I’ll call you again soon.” And I hang up.


I’m sitting in the living room on my favorite couch, staring out the window at the rain. I feel empty and lonely and desperate. A dangerous combination. I didn’t realize how much I missed my parents until I talked to them. Now all I want to do is run home to them and let them protect me, let them take me in their arms and tell me that everything will be alright. And that makes me feel weak and impotent, something I hate.

But what can I do? Nothing. So I just sit and stare out the window. It’s starting to get dark when the door opens. I expect it to be Joshua. He went out with his helmet on, something Max begrudgingly agreed to since he hates being locked up here, hates being dependent on other people. I don’t bother to look up. Which is probably why hearing Alec’s voice startles me.

“Everything okay, Liz?” he asks.

I turn to him for a second, then look back out the window, even though I can hardly see anything anymore. It’s getting too dark. “I’m fine,” I say.

“Yeah, and I’m sleeping beauty,” Alec replies sarcastically.

Normally I would have come up with some witty comeback, especially since he’s making it so easy for me, but today I just don’t seem to care. I just keep staring out the window.

Alec walks over to the couch, sits down beside me and turns my head towards him with his fingers holding my chin firmly. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Nothing,” I say. “I just want to be alone.” And since he doesn’t move I shove his hand away and get up to go into the kitchen. I don’t know what to do there so I get myself a glass of water. He follows me, of course. But he doesn’t say anything. I have a hard time swallowing past the lump in my throat. God damn it, I will not cry in front of Alec.

I hate feeling like this, empty and vulnerable, and I hate it even more that he’s here to see it.

He comes over to me, stands in front of me and once again takes hold of my chin to keep me from turning away from him, but this time his grip is almost tender. How did he know I was going to do that?

“Look Liz, I know you and I haven’t had the best start, but you’re important to Joshua, and so, to a certain degree, you’re important to me. I can see that you’re upset, so just tell me what happened and I’ll go out and hurt whoever is responsible for it.” There’s a fierceness in his eyes, in his voice, and for some stupid reason, it touches me. The way I see it, I have three possible ways of reacting. Number one, I can cry. Number two, I can snarl at him. For some reason, neither of them seems appealing, so I opt for the third. I kiss him.

I obviously surprised Alec, and so I take full advantage of it. I press myself against him and wrap my arms around him while nibbling his lips open, then I deepen the kiss, drawing him into it, into me. I need this right now. I need to escape for a little while, and this seems like the best possibility. Ever since Alec kissed me, there’s been this tension between us. I figure this is the best way of getting rid of it, thus hitting two birds with one stone.

Things begin to heat up when he suddenly breaks the kiss. “Liz-”

“Shut up,” I say cutting him off again with my mouth on his. I don’t want to talk, I want to have him. Right now.

“We can’t do this,” he says in between kisses.

“Sure we can,” I gasp breathlessly. God, this man can kiss. My blood is already boiling, my skin tingles and I shiver.

“But we shouldn’t,” he replies even as he trails a path of butterfly kisses down my neck.

“Why not?” I ask, then draw in a sharp breath as he sucks on my pulse point.

“It’s wrong,” he says before nipping at my ear.

“Like you have a conscience,” I reply while digging my hands into his hair. I’ve always had a thing for a guy’s hair, and I really like Alec’s. It’s full and silky and long enough to hold onto. I have the feeling I’ll be needing that.

“I’m serious,” he tells me before his lips return to mine. His kisses are hungry now, demanding, and I know I’ve already won.

“So am I,” I reply.

We crash into the refrigerator and something falls off it, but I hardly even notice. Alec’s hand has snuck under my shirt, skimming over my back and my stomach, causing my groin to tingle and the muscles in my thighs to go lax. I let go of his hair and start tugging at his shirt. Growing impatient with the much too small buttons I simply rip it open, sending buttons flying everywhere. And then my hands are on his warm skin, skimming over hard curves and even harder planes of muscle. God, he feels good.

He lifts me up and I automatically wrap my legs around his hips before he starts making his way towards my room. We bump into and knock over about a million things before finally reaching it, but I hardly notice. He tumbles us onto the bed, discarding his shirt on the way. I grab onto his hair again while he sucks on my neck, then scratch my nails down his back. Lust rushes to my groin and I can’t help moaning. The sensations roll over me, yanking me away from the here and now to a place where there’s only him and me. A red haze settles over my brain and I can no longer think, only feel and want and need. His clever hands and clever lips know exactly where to linger, where to be gentle and where to be rough. I enjoy his urgency, it only adds to my own.

I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but suddenly I have the need to take, to posses. I’ve never felt like this before. Rolling us over I straddle him and bite his neck, then suck before nibbling on his shoulder. Little thrills shoot through my body while I explore his chest with my lips, my hands, enjoying how well developed it is. His heart is already racing. I love knowing that that is my doing, it gives me a strange kind of feeling of power, potent and erotic, driving me on. I don’t bother being gentle, I don’t feel very gentle at the moment. When I close my teeth over his nipple he shudders, and I smile. My mouth wanders back to his, my lips close over his in a rough kiss before I sit up and tug my shirt over my head.

He sits up as well and his mouth is on my chest immediately while his fingers busy themselves with unhooking my bra. Within seconds it’s open and gone, and his mouth closes over my nipple while his hand fondles the other breast. I groan, burying my hands in his hair to keep him from moving, and arch into him. The sensations wash over me, intense and hot and still not enough. My heart is pounding in my chest and I’m gasping for air.

Then his hands dip lower and fumble with the buttons of my jeans while his lips return to my neck, my mouth. I lift my hips to give him access, and once the buttons are dealt with, he practically throws me onto my back and tugs the jeans off my legs. Then he nibbles on the inside if my knee before his mouth wanders upwards, leaving a hot, wet trail on the inside of my thigh. By the time he reaches the junction between my legs I’m breathless and writhing beneath him, hot, liquid arousal sparkling through my body. He nibbles at the skin where my leg connects with my body making my jump and then slides upwards in one smooth movement to kiss me. His mouth is hot and needy, and I just sink into him.

I somehow notice that he’s still wearing his pants, and so I reach down to fumble with the buttons. I can feel his arousal straining against the cotton, making it hard for me to concentrate on the task at hand. Finally they’re open, and he takes over, tugging them over his hips and kicking them off.

Our lips crash back together while our hands once again start exploring each other’s bodies, sliding over soft curves and hard muscle, skin that has grown damp with sweat and arousal. The last scraps of clothing are removed and our hands dip lower, touching flesh already hot and wet and waiting. He’s hard and at the same time soft in my hand, his flesh hot and pulsating. I buck my hips as his fingers set out to explore, groan, moan out his name. I can’t make out the single sensations anymore, it all melts together into one burning feeling of lust.

“Liz.” His voice is hoarse, and hearing him say my name sends me over the edge. Release dances through my body, making me thrash, convulse, moan. I’m still trembling when my senses come back to me. I feel his arousal at my entrance, realize he’s donned a condom, and lift my hips. I want to feel him inside me.

He pauses, stares down at me. “You’re not a virgin, are you?” he asks, and there's something in his tone...

Thinking back to my last night in Roswell that I spent with Sean, I shake my head. I don’t think I’m capable of speaking right now.

His lips crash down on mine, muffling my groans, as he fills me with one smooth movement. I cling to him, dig my nails into his back as he drives me into oblivion. His name leaves my lips in a harsh whisper and someone moans. I think it was me. I feel myself falling, shattering, feel him tumbling over right behind me.

Every muscle in my body goes lax, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move again. Alec collapses on top of me, and I enjoy the feeling of his weight pressing me down. My eyes are closed when I finally feel him stirring, but I don’t move. My eyes are too heavy to open them, and I feel myself starting to slip away. I’m dimly aware of the loss of Alec’s weight on top of me, of the warmth of his body moving away. He tucks the covers over me and presses a kiss to my temple, and for the first time ever since I left Roswell, I sleep peacefully.

Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
holier than thou | katastrophee
Updated 03/16/07 | Updated 02/10/08

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Post by Calinia » Wed Jun 23, 2004 4:48 pm

Hmm. Looking back I don't know why, but I didn't expect everyone to be so shocked by the revelation that Liz slept with Sean. I of course had reasons for that. First of all, I love Sean. He's one of my favorite Roswell guys, only Kyle beats him come to think of it. He was fun, sweet, caring and damn cute. And he had this whole bad-boy vibe going on...oh my. I'm also a big Sean/Liz fan, so I just couldn't resist adding at least that tiny bit of laneslider-ism. And there's of course also the fact that I didn't want Liz to be a virgin. That would raise some flags for Alec and it would show him a side of Liz that I didn't want him to see yet. So I had to de-virginize her so to speak and Sean was perfect for that.

As for Alec leaving, since you won't see his POV I'll explain. First of all he wanted Liz to get some slept, and he suspected that him staying the night might sort of prevent that...for some reason. :wink: And he sensed that Liz would probably not want the whole morning-after-intimacy, not after he already saw her pretty vulnerable the night before. He's already figured her out that well.

To some of your questions...yes, Liz will have issues with what happened. Yes, the Parkers are probably going through hell, but having finally heard from Liz was a great relief. Yes, there will be awkwardness between Liz and Alec, or something like that, but it will be dealt with. Nope, finding Ava will not happen soon. Nope, Liz didn't lose her mind. And Sean was that cute. :wink:

As always, thanks for your wonderful feedback, it's very much appreciated. On to the next part. For some reason, it's one of my favorites so far. I think it's because of what it represents. Enough rambling. Next part will probably be up next Tuesday. For now, hope you like!

Part 12

Jesus, am I sore. I feel like I ran a marathon. My thighs burn with every step, and for some strange reason my left wrist hurts. And I have a bruise on my hip that’s just huge. Not to mention bite marks and hickeys covering pretty much my whole body. I look like I was beaten up. And feel like it too. I had no idea sex could do that to a person.

I managed to sneak out of the house this morning before Joshua got up, something that never happened before. But then, I went to bed early last night, and I got a good night’s sleep. I’m actually awake, even though I skipped the coffee this morning. I completely forgot how that feels like, being awake.

This morning I am not, however, on my quest to find Ava. I’m taking the day off because I have something to do. I need to change. Or rather, I need my physical appearance to adapt to the way I’ve changed. I haven’t decided yet if the change in me is a good thing or not, but either way it’s here, probably to stay. So I might as well adjust to it. I don’t have any clothes that don’t scream ‘Miss Prissy’, I hate my hair and I’m sick of looking like a twelve-year-old. So all that is going to change today.

First thing to do is get myself a new wardrobe. I don’t have a lot of money, but I can change the color of some of the stuff I have, so I don’t need too many new things. I decided to go to the sector where Ava used to work since I saw some shops there that have the kind of stuff I want. The first store I hit seems to be specialized on leather, which is fine with me. I end up buying black leather pants, a fitted leather jacket and cloggy boots that add a nice few inches to my height. I already spent quite a big chunk of my money, so I don’t have too much left to spend in the other shops I go to. I just buy a few tops and a second-hand coat. It’s long and black and has a hood, perfect for the weather here.

My next stop is a drug store. As I might have mentioned two or three million times before, I really hate my hair. It’s a boring brown color and boring straight and boring long. So I’m dying it. And cutting it. Well, I’m letting someone else cut it of course, but I don’t have the money to let the hairdresser do the color too. And I don’t trust my powers enough to just wiggle my nose and have it done. With clothes it doesn’t matter that much, worst case scenario would be setting them on fire. But risking setting my hair on fire? I don’t think so. Besides, I prefer to avoid using my powers whenever possible. Why remind myself that I’m some sort of human-alien-freak if that can be avoided? Of course, the word ‘using’ isn’t quite correct. That would indicate that I actually know what I’m doing, which I’m not. Hence it backfires half the time anyway, so why even bother?

At first I thought I’d buy plain black hair dye, but then I see one that’s black with a dark red ting, sort of like red wine. It looks pretty good on the package, so I just take it. Whatever.

Then I head for the hairdresser. I saw one while I was shopping, and the pictures on display were anything but normal, so it’s the perfect choice. I’m sick and tired of looking normal, being normal. What did normal ever do for me? Counter question, what did abnormal ever do for me? Okay, so maybe not much, but who cares. I don’t want to be ordinary anymore. I mean, who does?

I reach the hairdresser, march right in and ask if they have a free appointment, like right now. They do, and so within minutes I’m seated in something that I guess is supposed to be a barber’s chair, with a guy with a pink Mohawk and about twenty piercings starring at me like I just fell from the sky. Guess they don’t get a lot of people like me in here.

“Chop it off,” I tell him.

He frowns, circles the chair, all the while staring at my hair. “Chop it off?” he asks.

“Yes. Just cut it off. I don’t care what you do, I don’t want it long, and I don’t want it boring. I don’t care about the rest.”

He frowns again, studies my hair again, turns another circle. “Hmm.” He tilts his head, then starts fumbling around with my hair. “Strong hair, good texture,” he mumbles, but I doubt that he’s talking to me. Then he simply takes the scissors and starts cutting. I’ve never seen a hairdresser who cuts hair when it’s dry, and I’ve certainly never seen a hairdresser who goes about the job so carelessly and without plan. At least that’s what it looks like to me.

Long strands of hair are falling to the ground, and I begin to get nervous. I did expect him to at least tell me what he was doing before he started. More hair falls and I get more nervous. Why the hell don’t they have a damn mirror in front of the barber’s stool? Every hairdresser has that. It’s like, a law. Or at least it should be.

I begin to say something, but he hushes me. He seems a bit out there, almost as if in trance. Wonder if he’s on drugs. Jesus, I hope not.

He suddenly sets down the scissors and starts blow-drying my hair – what for I don’t know since it is already dry – and I feel a lot of tugging. Guess he’s using a brush to put it into shape. When he’s done he spins me around I’m staring at myself in a mirror. My mouth just about drops open. I hardly even recognize myself. My hair goes just past my chin now, or at least the longer part. It’s cut in layers and it’s fringy, the tips curling outwards. It looks a bit messed up, but I love it.

“Wow,” is all I say.

An arrogant look slides over the hairdressers face as he smiles, obviously very satisfied with himself. “I know,” is all he says. Then he leaves. Whatever.

I pay, glad that it actually turns out to be cheaper than I’d expected, and head home. Reaching Joshua’s house, I sneak up the front steps like a thief, press my ear against the door and listen. I can’t make out any sounds and so I carefully open the door and peek inside. The living room is empty and so I sneak inside and go to my room. I reach it undetected and leave the stuff I bought there, except for the hair dye. Grabbing that as well as a towel, I make my way to the bathroom.

There’s no hot water, but I’ve gotten used to cold showers. The bathroom was beyond disgusting when I first got here, but I cleaned it, first using the conventional method and then, when I became too frustrated, my powers. It’s all sparkling and clean now, hence pretty close to perfect, except for the lack of warm water. But normally, when I have the time to take a bath, I just heat up the water with my powers. Of course, half the time I overdo it and end up with bathwater that is literally boiling, but oh well.

I get to work, and following the instructions on the package, am done in half an hour. Glancing at myself in the mirror I don’t see much difference, but then, my hair is still wet. Too curious to wait, I decide to risk it and dry my hair with a wave of my hand. It works on the third try, and I even manage to style it the way the hairdresser had.

Jesus. I look so different. Older somehow, and with more of an edge. I love my new color, and I love my new cut. This is exactly what I wanted. A complete change.

I sneak back into my room and start going through my wardrobe. I left most of the catholic-school-girl-stuff at home, but I still have lots of clothes that don’t fit my new and improved look. So I set to work. Mostly I just change the color of stuff, sometimes make it tighter or lower the neckline. I have a jeans skirt that’s knee-long, and I cut it off so that it only reaches mid-thigh. When I’m done my whole wardrobe is black or some other dark color, except for a few random pieces.

Because I can’t resist, I change into my new leather pants, put on a dark top and my leather jacket. I add dark eye shadow and lots of mascara, and the look is complete. I stare at myself in the mirror Joshua dug up for me somewhere for a long time. I look different, no doubt about it, but I feel like me. I haven’t in a long time now. It was like I had lost my identity. But now I have a new one. And I like it.

Last edited by Calinia on Wed Jun 30, 2004 12:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Updated 03/16/07 | Updated 02/10/08

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Post by Calinia » Wed Jun 30, 2004 1:16 pm

Thanks for the congrats, guys! Sorry for not updating yesterday. I was so tired after the final, I just couldn't get myself to do. But the final was okay and since this afternoon I finally have a summer job! The pay is pretty good too, so I'm very happy.

So, on to the part now. Alec is back in it, hope you like it. Oh, and I think from now on Wednesday will be my update day. Sorry for changing it all the time.

Part 13

I’m in my room, frustrated as hell. I spent the whole day running around town, once again looking for Ava, and I came up with nothing. Nothing. Just like yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that. And while I do have a bit more control over my powers, I’m still far from mastering them. I could use some serious help here, but how am I supposed to get that if I can’t find Ava?

The door of my room is suddenly jerked open and Alec walks in. For a split second my heart jumps into my throat, something that infuriates me beyond reason, and so I let it out on Alec of course.

“Damn it Alec, what the hell do you think you’re doing, barging into my room like that?” I snap. “Polite people knock! I could have been in the middle of changing.”

He just shrugs. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

I simply glare at him. I think I’ve really gotten this whole alien-death-glare thing down. Isabel gave wonderful lessons.

“Why are you avoiding me?” he asks, leaning against the door frame so casually that I could kick him for it.

“I’m not avoiding you,” I reply. A lie, of course. I have been avoiding him. For more than a week now. I thought sleeping with him would make the tension between us go away. I was curious and – I might as well admit it – attracted to him. But now I tried it so I should be over it. The tension should be gone. It isn’t though. Quite the opposite actually. It only made me want him more. A fact I’m not exactly comfortable with. I didn’t come here to hook up with a random guy, to let that distract me from the important things. Even if it’s just a meaningless affair, sex is always distracting. I welcomed that the other night just as I welcomed it with Sean, but right now I need to stay focused.

“You are avoiding me,” Alec states, and I ask myself how he can stay so calm. “What, are you so uncomfortable with what happened between us that you can’t face me anymore?” he asks. “In case I have to remind you, you started it.”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” I insist, feeling more than just uncomfortable. “It was just sex. It didn’t mean anything.”

“I agree,” he says and I hate that, in a way, that disappoints me. “But if it was just sex and didn’t mean anything,” he goes on, “Why are you avoiding me?”

“Maybe because I don’t like you!” I exclaim, loosing my patience with Alec’s questions.

“Do you always have sex with people you don’t like?” And he’s still calm. Damn it, can’t he get mad? I hate being mad at someone who isn’t mad right back at me, it makes me feel stupid and childish.

“Sometimes,” I reply, almost pouting.

Alec smirks, then abandons his position at the door to move towards me. Now he’s so close that I can smell him, a mixture of cologne and Alec, so tempting that I just want to bite him. It takes all my willpower to not move away from him, but I’ll be damned if I step back from him now.

“I know why you’re avoiding me.” His voice is low and husky all of a sudden, and I involuntarily shiver as he touches my check, cupping my face. His thumb trails over my lips, and I almost moan. “You’re not uncomfortable with what happened, you’re uncomfortable with how you feel about it. You never planned on it being more than a one-time thing, but now you want more, and you don’t like it.”

My mouth almost drops open, I’m so shocked. Jesus, what is he, a mind reader? “Nothing more is going to happen between us,” I manage to say.

He looks deep into my eyes, a slight smile on his lips. “Oh yes, it will. You rushed me last week. Now I intend to take my time.”


I’m stretched out on my bed, half draped over Alec, who is as of now running his fingers up and down my back. He’s making goose-bumps rise up on my skin and I want to tell him to stop, but I don’t have the strength. I’m spent. He wasn’t lying when he said he intended to take his time. He did, over and over and over again, exploring every nook and cranny of my body until he probably knew it off by heart. And of course driving me crazy while doing so.

Everything he did was tortuously slow and gentle, drawing arousal that was lazy and liquid and hot. Every time I reached that exquisite peak and tumbled over, he drove me right back up again. I never even imagined something like that being possible. Well, it is, obviously.

With Sean, it was nothing like this. Don’t get me wrong, it was great, especially considering that it was my first time, but it was just so different. There was a lot of fumbling with clothes involved and trying to be quite as to not wake Amy. It was tender and slow, Sean’s way of trying to comfort and sooth. And it did.

He made me forget everything for one precious hour, and he made me feel special and wanted and beautiful. He was careful and gentle, probably suspecting that it was my first time. He didn’t ask. He didn’t say anything at all, except to ask me if I was sure, and even then his voice was barely more than a whisper. I guess he was scared of breaking the spell, scared that I would come to my senses. He needn’t have worried. I had absolutely no intention of leaving at any point of the evening. I went there with a purpose, and that was not only to kill the time till my bus left.

Alec moving beneath me brings me back to the present. I lift my head to look at him and am not surprised to find him smirking at me. He looks pretty satisfied with himself. I roll my eyes and shift my body off his, taking the covers with me. I try to stand up, but my knees aren’t cooperating, and so I sink right back down onto the bed. “Jesus.”

Alec sits up and starts nibbling on my neck from behind me. I swat at him. “Cut it out. What are you, a rabbit?”

He chuckles. “No. But being a transgenic has certain advantages.”

I grunt in response. So I noticed.

“I have to go,” he continues. “I’m meeting some people at Crash. Wanna come?”

I’m taken aback by his invitation, but I cover it up quickly by scowling at him and being my usual rude self. “Does it look like I’m capable of going anywhere?”

He grins. “I’ll carry you, sweetheart.”

My scowl deepens. “Don’t call me that. And as tempting as your offer is, I’ll have to pass. I’m tired.” And because I don’t want him to think that that’s alone his doing, I add “I had a shitty day.”

He’s still smirking. “Well then, goodnight sweetheart. Sweet dreams. Oh, and by the way, I love the hair.”

I just glare at him.


The next morning I get up later than normal, due to oversleeping. My internal alarm clock seems to be broken. The only other time that this happened ever since I came to Seattle was last week after Alec and I landed in bed for the first time. Hmm, do I see a pattern there? Nah, don’t think so.

I leave my room after getting dressed and head towards the kitchen for a glass of juice or something, but when I reach the living room Alec, Joshua and some guy with short, light brown hair and glasses are there. The guy turns towards me and weird mechanical sounds come from his legs. That’s when I notice the strange metal-pants-thingy he’s wearing.

“And who’s this?” I ask raising an eyebrow. “Robocop?”

Alec chuckles, even though I know he’s trying not to. I ignore him.

The guy just smiles. “You must be Liz,” he says. “I’ve heard a lot about you. Nice to finally put a face to the name.”

I look him up and down, scowl. “Whatever.”

“Logan Cale,” ha adds, holding out his hand to me. I take it after a moment’s hesitation. His grip is firm, his gaze unwavering. Doesn’t seem impressed by my bitch-attitude. I like that. But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna show it. And so I simply turn around and head towards the kitchen.

I find some orange juice in the fridge and pour myself a glass while listening to the guys talking. They seem to be discussing Terminal City and some supplies for the transgenics there or something. Living with Joshua, I’ve learned quite a bit about transgenics in general and the ones living in Terminal City. Joshua wanted to go there too originally, but now that he has Annie he’s forgotten about his plans completely, much to M’s relief. She doesn’t want him there, and I understand her. Terminal City doesn’t exactly sound cozy, or safe, considering that the authorities know about it.

When I head back into the living room Logan is just leaving. “Nice meeting you, Liz,” he says to me, and I grunt in return. Then he’s gone.

“Who is this Logan guy?” I ask Joshua, annoyed when Alec replies.

“He’s Max’s ex-boyfriend. He’s been involved with the whole transgenic thing for almost two years now, even though he’s human.”

It surprises me that M had a boyfriend, even more that he’s human. “Why did they break up?” I ask, too curious to keep quiet.

“Manticore injected her with a virus targeted to his DNA that will kill him if he touches her.”

“Well, that sucks,” I say for the lack of a better reply. “Why’d they do that?”

“They’re just mean like that,” Alec says casually. I don’t believe him, but I won’t push. I know what it’s like to have secrets, and how annoying it is when people try to get you to tell them what they are.

“Sounds like a cheery place,” I comment.

“Yeah, just the cozy, loving home you’d want to grow up in.” Alec isn’t looking at me, and he’s careful to keep his voice casual and the bitterness out of it, but I hear it all the same. And for the first time I realize that Alec too probably has his dark sides.

Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
holier than thou | katastrophee
Updated 03/16/07 | Updated 02/10/08

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Post by Calinia » Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:29 pm

Thanks for all the feedback, guys! To answer some of your questions, I haven't really decided what will happen with Max and Logan. I can tell you though that him and Liz will become freindly. He's not gonna play that big a role in this story though.

I start my summer job tomorrow btw, and it looks like it's gonna take up a lot of my energy and time. Which means I'm not sure how often I'll really be able to update all my stories. I will try to keep the one-part-a-week rhythm with this one, and it should be manageable, but I'm not gonna promise anything. I should be updating DTD rather soon, and then I'll be working on the next part of NUF. But again, no promises.

Anyway, on to the next part. It's more transition than anything else, so I apologize if it's too boring.

Part 14

So I’ve been thinking. I mean, duh. What else is there to do at 3am if you can’t sleep…and you’re alone.

Anyway…I’ve been thinking about my powers. Actually, I’ve been trying to not think about my powers, but that sort of didn’t work, so I thought I might as well face it. I still don’t understand how it’s even possible in the first place. Why do I have her power? The healing I understand, Max must have passed it on to me when he saved me. But mind-warping?

And what about all the things I blew up back in Roswell without being able to stop it? That’s Michael’s special ability, along with his amazing lack of control over it, so why do I have it too? Michael and I, we put up with each other, at best. We never socialized, not if we could help it, that is. So why do I have his power? Not to mention his non-ability to control it…never thought Michael Guerin and I would ever have anything in common.

Anyway, after mentally whining and bitching for quite some time, I came to a conclusion: I can blast things, as I proved on countless occasions back in Roswell, which is Michael’s special power. I can heal – pretty damn good too if I may say so myself – which is Max’s ability. And, as much as I hate to admit it and wished it weren’t true, I can mindwarp. That’s Tess’ power. So does that mean I can dreamwalk too? If I have the powers of those three it would only make sense for me to have Isabel’s power too.

Guess there’s only one way to find out. After all, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. But who should I try to dreamwalk? I don’t want to risk dreamwalking Kyle, Maria or my parents. I don’t want to alert any of them in any kind of way, and I certainly don’t want to give them any hints as to where I am. God only knows what will happen when I, the Quasimodo of alien powers, run around in someone’s sub consciousness. Problem is, I don’t have a picture of anyone else, and I doubt I can do it without one like Isabel sometimes can. My record of correct power usage isn’t exactly squeaky clean. So what do I do?

Having an idea, I get up and stumble to the living room. Why couldn’t night vision have been one of my powers? At least I could’ve used that.

I know that Joshua normally paints weird abstract stuff that makes zero sense to a normal person, but he also has a few pictures of people. It’s not a photo, but who knows, maybe it will work anyway. And I saw him working on one of M just yesterday. Now, M would normally not be my first choice, but I refuse to go down to the basement and look for another painting. The basement at night is just…not an option. And so I settle for M’s picture.

Picking it up, I go back to my room. I lie down on my bed, the picture lying beside me, both of us probably looking pretty stupid. Then I touch the painting and close my eyes. I try to let myself be sucked into it, sort of like it felt when I helped Isabel contact Max in New York. Before I know what’s going on, it already happened.

I look around. I’m in an apartment, a nice, large, clean apartment. A normal apartment. No dump, no building on the brink of collapsing. I can’t still be in Seattle, can I?

Then I see M. She’s standing in the kitchen, watching a guy who’s standing at the stove cooking something. God, it smells good. My stomach growls. How can my stomach growl? I’m not even really here. I’m in someone else’s freaking mind. None of this is real. So why is my god damn stomach growling?

M has this really stupid grin on her face. Christ, she’s freaking me out. I’ve never seen her smile like that. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her with anything but a scowl on her face. Then the guy turns to her, and it all makes sense. It’s Logan. He smiles at her too, and she smiles even more, and I feel like I so shouldn’t be here watching this.

Then he abandons his position at the stove to walk around the counter so that he’s standing in front of M. He touches her cheek, and at her startled, slightly terrified look, smiles. “Don’t worry,” he tells her. “Nothing can happen to me. It’s a dream.” A smile breaks over M’s face again, and for the first time I realize that she’s really pretty when she smiles.

“So, what’s the mission?” M asks coyly. Huh?

Logan seems as confused as I am. “Mission?” he asks.

“Yeah, the super-urgent, super-important Eyes-Only mission. That’s why you called me, right?” she asks, looking a bit confused herself now.

“Oh, that.” Logan smiles again. “Well, this mission is special. It involves the boss himself. Eyes Only.”

“Logan, you are Eyes Only,” M says. What a firkin’ minute here. Logan is Eyes Only? Logan? RoboCop?

Logan smiles. Then he holds up a bottle of chocolate sauce, a serious expression on his face. “This sauce is on the brink of going bad. Since you should not throw away groceries, we have to find a fast way of using it. All of it. Mission objective must be reached within an hour.”

M has a serious expression on her face too. “That could be close. Are you sure it’s even possible?”

Logan nods. “I have faith in you.”

M contemplates it. “I won’t be able to do it alone.”

He smiles at her, the love shining in his eyes so brightly that even a cynic like me is almost touched by it. “I wasn’t planning on leaving you to do this alone. You can count on me.”

M shrugs. “Well, then.” And then they jump each other.

I whirl around, so not wanting to see that. I try to get out of M’s dream, but I have no idea how to do that. Looking around, I see a door. I head towards it, rip it open, and suddenly I’m back in my room, lying on my bed, breathing heavily. Jesus. It takes a few moments till I’m calm again. Then I let what I saw pass through my mind once more. So Logan is Eyes Only. Hmm. Interesting.


For the first time in my life my powers actually work the way I want them to and the lock clicks open on the first try. I hold my breath, hoping that I didn’t trip an alarm or something. But then, we’re in Seattle. Hot water is a luxury here. I doubt people actually even know what alarm systems are, let alone have them.

Nothing happens, and so I slip into the apartment and quickly close the door behind me. Jesus. This place is the shit. Am I seriously still in Seattle? Even for Roswell standards, this is a pretty nice apartment. Walking further inside, I recognize my surroundings from M’s dream. It looks exactly the way I remember it.

The first thing I do is look into his fridge. I always look into people’s fridges. It tells you everything you need to know about the person. Hmm, what is there? Some left over pasta, stored in a plastic dish. Wow. It’s even labeled. Jesus, this guy must be one hell of a neat freak. And I thought I was bad. There’s some French mustard, everything you need to make salad, some apples, fat-free yoghurt, orange juice, water, milk and an open bottle of red wine. I take it out of the fridge. Oh, calm down, I’m not gonna drink it. I just want to see where it’s from. I bet it’s imported. Probably from France. Well, close enough. It’s from Spain. Jesus, this guy must have money to feed cows.

I close the fridge again. As I said, a fridge tells you everything you need to know about a person. Logan’s tells me that he’s levelheaded, serious, neat and organized. He always does the right thing, always makes decisions with his head – he’s your typical nice guy. He probably wouldn’t get a joke if you hit him over the head with it, but he’s a stand-up guy. But despite all this, he doesn’t deny himself the nice things in life either. It’s probably his reward to himself for being so good or something.

How do I know all that you ask? Well, first of all, the guy actually labeled the pasta. He even put the date on the label. Only a maniac would do that. I mean, come on. It’s the only plastic dish in the fridge, and it’s see-through. Ergo, a label is totally not necessary. But if you’re neat and organized to an extent that comes dangerously close to insanity, you’ll label it anyway. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being neat and organized. I myself am neat and organized. But seriously, the pasta? You can overdo it, ya know.

Second of all, there’s only healthy stuff in his fridge. No chocolate, no ice cream, even the yoghurt is fat-free. Which tells me the guy always eats healthy, well-balanced meals. You have to be very, very, very levelheaded to actually do that. I mean, where’s the fun in that? Which tells me that fun is not high on Logan’s list of priorities. I doubt he even knows how to spell that word. Ergo, he’s serious, he’s smart (otherwise he wouldn’t even know what a well-balanced meal is) and he’s levelheaded. Some people might call it boring, but I actually sort of like that about him. A guy making decisions with his brain – I mean the one in his head – is normally hard to find, as I have recently discovered.

Since it will probably still take a while till Logan comes back, I take the time to look around. The apartment is huge, lots of space, lots of light. The furniture is modern but it doesn’t make the apartment seem cold. There are weird pictures on the wall, just splashes of colors and strange shapes. They don’t make any sense. What happened to the good old times when painters actually painted things?

After seeing all there is to see, I go back into the living room. Logan’s computer is, like, huge. There are almost half a dozen screens, a few servers and tons of other gadgets I don’t even recognize. I guess he needs it, those cable hacks can’t be easy to pull off. I plop down on his chair, put my feet on his desk and stretch out to wait for Logan to come home.

Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
holier than thou | katastrophee
Updated 03/16/07 | Updated 02/10/08

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Post by Calinia » Wed Jul 14, 2004 3:45 pm

Thanks for the feedback guys! The way it looks, I'm gonna be quiting my summer job very, very soon since it's killing me. Seriously. And that means lots of writing time coming up...

Anyway, here's the next part. There isn't much Alec, but there will be lots of him in the next part to make up for that. Hope you like!

Part 15

Sitting around and waiting for Logan to come home got boring after about three seconds, and so I started leafing through the stuff spread out on his desk. Well, spread out is the wrong expression of course. Meticulously ordered is more like it.

Anyway, I look through the maps and notes and other junk and almost fall asleep, it’s all so boring. You would think that there’d be some interesting stuff on the desk of a cyber journalist/underground freedom fighter. But no, nothing. Until I discover two passports under a stack of paper, that is. I’m in the middle of studying them when I suddenly hear the apartment door being opened. Footsteps are coming down the hall, but I don’t bother to look up, not even when they suddenly halt at the entrance of the room.

“You know, one would think that Eyes Only can afford better fake passports than this. They suck. Even I can see that, and I know shit about this kind of thing.”

When Logan doesn’t say anything, I finally look up. He’s staring at me, or rather gaping, his expression somewhere between surprise, shock and suspicion. I just stare right back.

“You…why would you think that Eyes Only has anything to do with those passports?” Logan asks, trying his best to sound casual.

I just give him a look. Don’t waste your breath, buddy, you ain’t foolin’ me. “I know you’re Eyes Only, so don’t even try,” I tell him.

Now he laughs, but there’s a nervous tingle in it, and it sounds more forced than amused. “Well, whatever made you think that, I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. I’d love to take the credit, but I’m not Eyes Only.”

Now I roll my eyes, getting annoyed. “Whatever you need to tell yourself, Logan. Look, I’m not here to blackmail you, I’m here to ask you for a favor. I could use your help.”

Apparently I just spoke the magic words. Logan really is a do-gooder, right down to the bone. “What do you want?” he asks. His look is still guarded, but I’m glad that he’s at least willing to hear me out.

I stand up, deciding that it’s too impolite to remain seated, especially since I’m sitting in his chair, especially since I’m asking him for a favor. “I need help finding someone.” For a moment a queer look passes over Logan’s face, and I’m not sure if he even heard me.

He seems pretty far gone, but then all of a sudden he comes back from wherever he was and asks me, “Well, who are you looking for?”

“A friend of mine. I think she’s still in Seattle, but I don’t know for sure. I don’t really know anything, actually, which is why I could use some help.” I hate asking Logan for this favor, but – in case I haven’t mentioned it before – I’m getting really desperate here. So far every clue I stumbled over that could have lead me to Ava turned out to be a dead end. I’m exactly where I started when I came here, and that was weeks ago. I need help, so I have no other choice than to swallow my pride and ask for it.

He sits down on the now empty chair and starts up the computer. “What’s her name?”


“Last name?”

“Um, I don’t know. I’m not sure she even has one.”

Now he gives me a queer look. “She doesn’t have a last name?”

“Don’t ask, okay? I don’t know her very well. Maybe she uses one after all. I don’t know.”

“If you don’t know her very well, why are you looking for her?”

I pause a second, contemplating how to answer that. Then I simply say, “I have my reasons.”

He looks at me for a moment, then turns back to the computer.

“Birthday?” he asks, and I’m grateful that he’s not pushing.

“Um, I don’t know. But she should be about 18. Although, chances are high that she has a fake ID that makes her at least 21.”

“Okay, is there anything else you can tell me? Anything solid?”

I think about it. “She’s short, about 5’1’’, slim, blue eyes, blond hair, probably with colorful streaks, a few piercings and tattoos. She’s from New York, so she has a New Yorker accent. She used to work at a tattoo parlor called ‘Sculled’ and she used to frequent a bar called ‘Crash’. Wait, I have a picture.”

I cram around in my bag, then hand it to him. “You have to imagine the piercings and colorful streaks in her hair.”

“This could be of some help,” he mutters while studying the picture. Then he spins around in his chair and puts it face down on what must be a scanner. A few seconds later, the picture appears on the screen.

“I’ll run a scan of the picture through some nationwide newspaper archives and a few other data banks,” Logan explains to me. “If her picture is stored somewhere, the computer should be able to match it with this one. But it will take some time.”

I nod. “Thanks.” Realizing how inadequate that is, I pick up the passports. “Um, I might be able to do something to these. Give me a few hours.”

He seems surprised, but doesn’t say anything except “Sure.” I leave his apartment, not knowing that I would soon regret ever having given Logan that photo of Ava, or rather Tess.


I go straight home from Logan’s apartment since it looks like it might rain. Big surprise, huh? Joshua is in the kitchen with Annie, they’re talking and laughing and so I head straight to my room, not wanting to disturb them. They have a very strange relationship. Basically, they’re friends, but I know that Joshua has a crush on her, and I know that she likes him a lot too. Their relationship is of course strictly platonic though. At least that’s what I tell myself. No, seriously, it’s platonic. Don’t look at me like that, it is. Believe me, it is.

Anyway, once in my room I lock the door, not wanting someone to burst in on me and witness an extraterrestrial lightshow. I get straight to work, trying to fix all the sloppy mistakes and make the passports look real. Seriously, it is beyond me why Eyes Only uses such an amateur for faking documents.

I’m still not anywhere close to actually mastering my powers, but as long as I’m not in a state of emotional havoc (not that that ever happens) I at least have enough control over them so that they won’t backfire and blow something up. As a rule, I still need a few tries – sometimes a dozen or more – till they actually work the way I want them to, or at all, but as long as I don’t accidentally burn down the house, I’m a happy camper.

After about an hour I’m done. They look pretty damn good if I may say so myself. Almost perfect. And so I get up, grab my bag and go straight back to Logan’s. I don’t bother getting an umbrella, I’ve taken a liking to walking in the rain, especially since I discovered that now matter how wet and cold I get, I never end up having a cold. I swear I haven’t sneezed once since I left Roswell. Guess that’s another part of the wonderful legacy Max left me with. And am I trying to hide the scorn in my voice? Nope, not a chance.

The only reason why I’m in such a hurry to get to Logan’s again is of course that I want to know if he’s found anything yet. I know it’s stupid to get my hopes up, it’s only been a few hours after all, but I can’t help it. For the first time I actually have the feeling that I’m on the right track, that this might actually lead to something.

When I reach his apartment I don’t bother with the doorbell, I just walk right in. These powers do come in handy every once in a while, and in case you haven’t noticed, I sort of threw polite out the window when I came to Seattle.

I’m surprised, and not exactly pleased, to find that he isn’t alone. Alec and M are there too, and let me tell you, you could cut the tension in this room with a knife. Alec smirks at me, M scowls, and I simply ignore them both.

“Here,” I say handing Logan the passports.

He thumbs through them, and I can tell that he’s seriously impressed. “Wow, these are amazing. How’d you do that?”

I shrug, having absolutely no intention of answering that question. Then I hesitate. I don’t want to ask him if he’s come up with anything yet in front of Alec and M, but I really want to know. Not being able to keep my curiosity at bay, I give in and ask after all, trying to sound as casual as possible. “So, did you find anything yet?”

“Find what?” M asks, but I ignore her.

Logan hesitates for a split second. Then he shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry. Not yet.”

Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
holier than thou | katastrophee
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Post by Calinia » Wed Jul 28, 2004 7:33 am

Hey guys, I pomised a new part and here it is! This wasn't planned at all, but Alec and Liz just wouldn't cooperate with what I wanted. In the end they won. Tsts, teenagers and transgenics and their hormones...

Anyway, thanks for your wonderful, wonderful feedback, and thanks for understanding that I skipped last week update-wise. I'll try not to do that again.

To answer some of your questions, the reason why Liz will regret giving Logan that picture will come out in a few parts...part 19 or 20 I think. Liz doesn't see Alec as an idiot...she sees him as a boytoy. :lol: As for them falling in love, their relationship will evolve...but that's all I'm saying. Max getting jealous of Liz and Logan spending time together? Now why would that happen? :wink: And Logan hesitating was sort of strange wasn't it? :P

On to the part...remember the rating of this story before reading it!

Part 16

I’m glad when I finally get out of Logan’s apartment again. Let me tell you, the air there was practically crackling with tension, most of it coming from M and Logan. Not that it surprises me with their situation and everything. Still, I don’t get why they can’t be friends, or at least behave civilized around each other even if they can’t be together. If they love each other so much, why is there so much animosity between them?

And I guess Alec’s lame attempts at flirting with me didn’t help the situation either. Okay, so maybe they weren’t all that lame, more like, suggestive, but I’d bet Logan and M still could have done without them. M didn’t stop rolling her eyes at us and Logan kept scowling at Alec.

Don’t ask me how it comes that I am as of now on Alec’s motorcycle, heading towards Terminal City with him. When I left, Alec followed me and the next thing I knew I was plastered against the elevator wall with Alec all over me, kissing and touching and basically ravaging me. And suddenly I’d agreed to coming along to Terminal City. What the hell?

I blame Alec of course. The man can do the most criminal things with his mouth, and I don’t mean the part where he talked me into going with him. So I’m a slave to my hormones…so what? Arrest me. I’m entitled to a little fun after all, aren’t I? And let me tell you, sitting behind Alec on his bike, being pressed against him the way I am now definitely falls into that category.

Speaking of fun, I’m in the mood for having some. And it’s payback time.

My hand, so far at Alec’s waist, slips under his jacket, under his shirt. I run my nails over his stomach, enjoying the feeling of soft, warm skin covering hard muscles, smiling when I feel them clench under my touch. I take my time to explore his body while moving upwards, then I find one of his nipples and scratch my nails over it. He shivers, and a thrill rushes through my body right down to my toes. I love the power I have over him, over his body, his reactions to my caresses.

My other hand joins the first and soon they’re trailing downwards, rubbing over his legs. He starts shifting around in his seat, and so I scratch my nails up the inner part of his thighs. I don’t stop when I reach the junction of his legs though, rubbing my hand over his crotch, surprised by his quite prominent arousal. Did I do that? I hardly even touched him. For a second I wonder if this might be dangerous, seeing how he’s the one steering the bike, but then I decide that it’s worth the risk. No risk, no fun, right?

All of a sudden Alec takes a sharp turn to the right into a narrow alley, speeds up and a few seconds later stops the bike abruptly. The next thing I know I’m off the bike and pressed against the rough wall, Alec’s mouth on mine, his kiss rough and possessive. I wonder if I’ll end up with bruises from either the wall or Alec, but somehow I don’t really find myself caring. It would be worth it in any case. If I’d still have the ability to think I might ask myself how I always manage to end up in this position whenever I’m with Alec, but the way it is, thinking is just not possible anymore.

I’m turned into mush and at the same time feel like I’m on fire. My senses are a bit askew, I can’t see, can’t hear, I only feel. Jesus. How does he do that to me?

My pants are torn open and then Alec’s hand is on me. I’m already aching for his touch, already moaning his name. Jesus, he is good with his hands. His mouth is fastened to my neck, sucking and biting. I know he’s leaving marks, but even that is thrilling and arousing and more than I can take. I start trembling, but that only seems to drive him on. I’m panting, gasping, then I have to fight to hold back a scream. Release pulsates through my body, wave after wave crashing over me. My knees turn to jelly and if it weren’t for Alec holding me up I would probably be slipping to the ground as the puddle of mush that I currently am.

But I don’t have any time to recover before Alec’s lips are back on mine, sparking arousal faster than should be possible after what he just did to me.

My hands fumble with the button of his pants, I wrench the zipper down, push the fabric aside. Then he’s in my hand hot and smooth and hard as steel. Thank God that Alec has the sense to don a condom, I’m too far gone to remember that kind of thing. Then I’m lifted up and he fills me in one smooth movement. I’m not sure how this actually works, seeing how my pants are tangled around my legs, barely pushed aside, but who cares?

Alec’s thrusting into me relentlessly, and I’m clinging to him for dear life. I’m dimly aware of my naked buttocks scraping against the brick wall and the fact that we’re in a public place, doing it in broad daylight, but then his lips return to mine and I forget what I was just thinking. Oh hell.

His mouth leaves mine to trail a rough path down my neck, nipping and sucking and biting. I’m mumbling incoherently, saying something that must probably go in the direction of “harder” and “faster”. At least that’s what I’m thinking.

Then I feel him shiver, and I know he’s on the verge of coming. His hand slips between our bodies and his thumb flicks over my clit. I start trembling myself, then I feel myself falling, shattering. Something between a gasp and a sob escapes my lips and my head falls forward. Alec groans as he thrusts into me one last time, then he collapses against me and even though I am currently sandwiched between him and the wall, I’m rather enjoying it. Wait a minute…did I just really think that?

I shift, and Alec lets me slide to the floor. For a moment I think my knees are going to give way, but somehow I manage to stay upright. I want to move away, put myself together, embarrassed by what just happened here. I mean, we’re in a fucking alley for crying out loud! True, we’re hidden by an old refrigerator that’s standing here (and I am not going to ponder what that is doing in an alley), but somebody could have come by any moment. Have we gone insane? Well, the answer is pretty clear for Alec, but am I going crazy too?

Alec doesn’t let me move away though. He has a lazy smile on his lips while he’s studying me, watching me. Oh hell. I almost blush. Then he smirks. “That was fun,” he says.

I roll my eyes, avoiding looking at him. Then I busy myself straightening my clothes, making sure that everything is where it’s supposed to be and that everything that’s supposed to be covered is covered. When I’m done, Alec finally takes care of his own cloths. I stalk over to the bike and check my appearance in one of the mirrors. Oh hell. My face is flushed, my eyes are bright, my hair mused. You just have to take one look at me to know what I was up to.

I comb my fingers through my hair, trying to at least fix that. Then Alec is suddenly behind me, his arms around my waist, his mouth nuzzling my neck. I freeze, but he doesn’t seem to notice. Then I swat at his hands, pull away scowling. “Cut it out,” I tell him.

He just grins at me. “That’s not what you were saying five minutes ago.”

I scowl all the more knowing he is right.

He laughs, then gets back on his bike. “Come on sweetheart, let’s get going.”

Does he have to call me that?

Ten minutes later we’re approaching what must be one of the entrances to Terminal City. Alec doesn’t slow down though, and for a split second I’m sure that we’re gonna crash into the fence or something, but then the gate suddenly slips open just long enough for us to pass through before it closes again. Terminal City, here we come.

Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
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Post by Calinia » Mon Aug 09, 2004 1:59 pm

Hey guys, first of all, sorry for the delay. But for once in my life I can actually say it's not my fault! Blame the board! I had this part all ready for you on Wednesday. Anyway, thanks for the wonderful feedback. I'm glad you liked the last part. I was kind of enjoying it myself, lol. On to the next one. It's pretty light and fluffy, at leas the end. Hope you like it!

Part 17

My first impression of Terminal City is that it doesn’t really look very different compared to the rest of Seattle. The same run-down buildings, the same junk yard flair...the only thing that stands out is that there isn’t a single person on the…streets...if you can actually call them that.

We drive through TC, as M usually calls it, for a few minutes before stopping in front of a building that looks as much in danger of collapsing as any other building here. “This is the headquarter,” Alec explains to me. “The heart of our little freak show where all operations, scams and plans for taking over the world are prepared.” He’s actually smirking. God, is everything a joke to that guy?

I roll my eyes. “You should really cut back on your TV time, you’re starting to sound like Pinky,” I tell him, referring to one of the few cartoons that survived the pulse. Don’t ask me how that happened.

“Hey!” he protests. “If anything, I sound like brain,” he mutters. Wow. He’s actually coming dangerously close to sulking.

I have to bite back a chuckle. “Whatever.”

Once inside we walk down a short hallway and end up in what must be the control center or something. There are a few transgenics scattered around absorbed in various tasks. Some look normal, most…don’t. There are a few screens used to keep track of various entrances and what I assume to be key spots within TC. There must be security cameras all over the place. It surprises me somehow. I didn’t really expect them to be so well organized. But now that I think of it…they’re like, elite soldiers or something. So duh.

There are two transgenics manning the controls. One of them looks like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle gone terribly wrong, the other one somehow reminds me of a cross between a yeti and a snowman. Turtle-guy sees us first. He gets up, grabbing a gun that’s much too big for my liking. I stiffen. Somehow, ever since I got shot, I’m not very keen on having guns around me. No idea why, just another one of my strange little quirks.

Turtle guy scowls at us. “Who’s she?” he asks, not exactly sounding friendly.

“Mole, Liz, Liz Mole,” Alec says, introducing us in that uniquely polite manner of his.

“She a transgenic?” Mole asks suspiciously.

“Nope,” Alec replies.

“She’s an ordinary?!” he exclaims, sounding almost exasperated if not disgusted.

Alec cocks his head. “What a coincidence that you ask. That’s a really interesting question. Want to answer it, Liz?” He’s smiling at me pleasantly, but he’s not fooling anyone, least of all me.

“Bite me,” I suggest.

Alec raises his brows. “Again?” he asks. “It’s only been-” he glances at his watch, but Mole starts talking before he can continue…and before heat can shoot into my cheeks. Thank God.

“She’s not a transgenic, she’s got no business being here,” Mole states, sounding more than just annoyed. He sounds downright mad. “When will you finally understand that and stop dragging humans here?”

Okay, now I’m starting to take offence in this whole thing. There’s nothing wrong with being human.

“Hey, cool it,” Alec tells him. “She might not be a transgenic, but she’s on our side. She helped Biggs when the mob was trying to lynch him and she prevented the whole Annie thing from turning into a disaster. You know exactly what White would have made that look like.” Oh, sweet lord, does he have to bring those things up? I’m almost blushing here, damn it.

Some of the anger has left Mole’s eyes now, but the suspicion’s still there.

“You’re living with Joshua,” he says, realization in his eyes.

“Got a problem with that?” I ask defensively.

Mole shrugs. “Not my problem if he wants to surround himself with ordinaries.”

That’s when Joshua comes in. After a lot of smiling and sniffing he offers to show me around, telling Alec that M is looking for him. Since I’m curious and don’t really feel like hanging around Mole, I agree. We head out, but not before Joshua scowls at Mole. My hero.


Coming towards the end of my tour, I have to say I’m pretty impressed. They really managed to make something out of TC, despite the miserable circumstances. There are living quarters, an eatery, an infirmary, a weapon house, the headquarter of course and several sentries placed at strategic positions. There’s even a frigin’ child care facility. It’s like a small town. A rather freaky one of course, but a town nonetheless. Come to think of it, this is almost nicer than the rest of Seattle. Now that’s a freaky thought.

On our way back we stop at one of the living quarters since it’s where Biggs lives and Joshua insists on seeing if he’s in, despite my protests. On our way upstairs we run into a group of transgenics trying to fix a leak in a water pipe. They let go string after string of rather inventive curses, but that doesn’t seem to be getting them anywhere. We pass them, head to Biggs room and knock. Nobody answers, we knock again. Still no answer. Looks like he isn’t home, thank God.

On our way back down Joshua asks if he can help with the pipe.

“Nah,” one of the transgenics answers. “Nothing you could do that we haven’t already tried. Damn leak just won’t be patched. Really seems set on giving us a hard time here.”

I can clearly see the barcode on the back of his neck. Not sure if he’s X-series but if he is he’s definitely too young to be an X5. Guess he must be X6 or something else completely. He doesn’t look older than 16, but he’s undeniably cute. Too young for me of course – not that I would be interested even if he weren’t – but still cute.

He has short, messed up blond hair, probably from running his hands through it one too many times, and sparkling blue eyes. He looks innocent somehow, despite where he came from, what he’s seen. I don’t know why, but that touches me somehow. And it makes me want to help. I know I shouldn’t, know that I’ve already exposed myself enough, too much actually, but I can’t help it. There’s this uncontrollable part of me that still wants to be good and nice and sweet, like I used to be. It’s small, microscopically so, but still there. And right now it wants out. Damn it.

“Maybe I can help,” I say before I can stop myself.

The boy throws me a doubtful look but moves aside all the same. “Be my guest.”

After shooing them all back a bit, saying something about them being in my light, I peer through the small hole in the wall. The leak isn’t too big, I should be able to fix it. I make sure that they can’t see what I’m doing before reaching into the hole, closing my hand around the pipe and concentrating. It takes a few seconds…okay, so maybe a whole minute…or two, but then a faint glow appears around my hand. Pulling it away I examine the pipe. It’s fixed, and it actually looks like it was patched…at least it comes damn close.

I can’t keep the satisfied smirk from my face when I turn around. “All done,” I tell them.

They ogle at me for a few moments before the boy gets up and takes a look at the pipe himself.

“Wow,” he exclaims. “Wow! This is really frigin’! We’ve been working on it for, like, half an hour or something. Couldn’t fix it. Damn patch wouldn’t stay where we put it. This just blazes. Hey, wanna help us with something else? Over at the eatery we’re trying to fix this old fridge, there are some leaks in the cooling system, you know. And since you seem to be the big expert on fixing leaks…”

He’s talking so fast that my brain can hardly register what he just said. He’s got this lopsided smiling on his face and he’s looking so hopeful and nice…

“Uh, sure,” I say. Wait a minute. Why did I just agree? Am I under some kind of spell or something? Is he one of those freaky people that can play with my mind, make me do things I don’t want to? I suddenly feel very cold. Not a nice scenario. But maybe it’s just his youthful charm…or something.

Joshua tells me that he’s going back to headquarter and the boy is already moving toward the stairs, so I hurry up and fall into step next to him. “So, what are you?” I ask, not bothering with beating around the bush. “X-series?”

“Yeah,” he says proudly. “X-6. You?”

“Uh, I’m not a transgenic,” I say offhandedly.

He stops and stares at me. I don’t know why I still believe that if I don’t make a big deal out of it, others won’t either.

“You’re an ordinary?” he asks surprised. “I mean, you’re human?”

“Something like that,” I say shifting around, then I turn away and continue to walk down the stairs. I hate it when people ask me that. I never know what to say. I could of course just lie and say that I’m human, but I hate lying. I can never quite get myself to do it, except if I have no other choice. Even two years in the alien abyss couldn’t change that.

He hurries to catch up. “What do you mean something like that? You, like, a mixture or something?” his tone is curious, but not apprehensive or anything. Nice change from the cold suspicion I always get from M.

“I guess you could call it that,” I say evasively.

He seems satisfied with the answer, or at least he stops asking any more questions. Either way works for me.

“What’s your name?” I ask before he can start asking questions again.

“I’m X6-617,” he tells me.

“That’s…your designation,” I point out carefully.

“Oh, you mean a real name? Like Paul or Peter or something? Don’t have one. Haven’t really found one I like. Hey, wanna chose one for me? You look like you’d be really good at that.”

Now it’s my turn to look startled. “You want me to pick a name for you?”

“Sure, why not. Better than just having a designation.”

I think about it for a moment. Then it comes to me. “Calvin,” I state. It’s such an obvious choice.

“Calvin?” he asks.

“Yeah. See, there’s this comic that was really popular in the 90ies. It’s called Calvin and Hobbes and it’s about this boy Calvin and his stuffed tiger Hobbes that Calvin imagines to be a real tiger. You just…remind me of Calvin.”

Now he grins. “Calvin…I like it.”

I smile back at him. Can’t help it. His grin is just…infectious.

We step outside into the rain, but I hardly even notice the weather. He grins at me again. “Now I just need a stuffed tiger…”

I laugh before I can stop myself. Then it comes to me. This is the first time I actually laughed since I left Roswell.

Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
holier than thou | katastrophee
Updated 03/16/07 | Updated 02/10/08

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Post by Calinia » Tue Aug 24, 2004 3:35 pm

Hello my faithful readers. (at least I hope that's what you are) Sorry for the wait, but between the board being down and my little cousins being here and driving me insane, I haven't gotten around to updating this before.

Oh, and before I forget, there are only a few more days left to nominate your favorite stories for the Crossover Fanfiction Awards. You don't need to be a member of the board, anybody can vote. So go over now! (that's an order in case you were wondering) Here's a link.

Zevrillion, Alec jealous? Now why would you think that? :wink:

polar vixen, I'm glad you liked it. And Calvin, he's just a cutie. *sigh* So sweet...I just wanna eat him.

Gioia, is it evil to be secretly thrilled to have you reading this too. But if it makes you feel better, it's not *that* angsty. Just a bit. *sigh* And like I'm not used to you stalking me. At least now it will be more diversified, lol. You're singing Kumbaya? Is that a threat?! :shock: As for your feedback, I got a real kick out of it, so thanks a bunch! And now that you mentioned it, I do see some polar similarities. Michael...drool. But hey, Alec...DROOL! And hey, give me some of those marshmallows!

Roswell Slayer, hehe, glad that Alec and Liz bantering makes you smile! Anything to put a smile on the face of one of my fav writers (hint, hint). Calvin *is* cute. And since I'm busy with Alec, I'll lend him to you! Just be nice to him! As for what Alec will think of him...well, it's obvious that Calvin is too young for Liz, even to him. Not that that will keep him from being jealous. :P

vampiricheart, I hope the board being down won't be a weekly thing too...couldn't stand that. :( I'm really glad you liked the part. As for some more Alec/Liz nookie, more coming up in the part after this one.

stargrl678, I'm afraid it will take some time till Liz' alien-status comes out. But stick around, it will happen some day!

Elf3748, hope the day went by fast enough, lol. :wink:

Tina N Blair, glad to see you on this board as well! Nice that you noticed the similarities between Liz and a certain hot, drool-worthy X5 we all know and crave. And I'm glad you're enjoying their banter...I'm enjoying writing it...a lot! As for the "bite me" part, glad you like it. I'm sorta proud of that comment, lol.

Hotaru, thanks for the fb! Yup, Liz and Alec have more in common than they know. Hehe, glad you liked the "bite me" part. I laughed too when writing it.

Part 18

By the time Calvin and I make our way back to headquarters, we’re joking and teasing each other like we’ve been buddies for years. I don’t remember the last time I laughed so much…or at all actually.

Don’t ask me what’s gotten into me. It’s like Calvin put a spell on me or something…which once again makes me wonder if he doesn’t have some spooky mind-twisting abilities after all. That would sure explain a lot.

I don’t know what it is with this guy. He is just so sweet and charming and innocent – you can’t help but be nice to him. Being nasty just isn’t possible.

And don’t think I didn’t try.

I was as bitchy and sarcastic as can be, but it just seemed to bounce off Calvin. Either he is really dense or sarcasm just doesn’t enter into his world. He kept smiling, kept teasing me, asking me questions about Calvin and Hobbes.

How happy can a person be before going insane?

Whatever the answer, Calvin is without a doubt coming damn close to crossing the line…he’s probably already over it with one foot. Just a tiny push and- okay, I really need to get some control over my thoughts. Now who’s insane? Maybe I shouldn’t point my finger…you know, glasshouse and all.

Anyway, so we’re heading back to headquarters, walking through the rain without even noticing it. I’m trying very hard to slide back into my bitch-persona, but Calvin is making that damn hard. Alec will never let me live it down if he sees me like this.

But once we reach headquarters the problem sort of solves itself. There’s quite a big gathering there, all eyes glues to the TV. The news is on, and from the looks of the people, it ain’t nothin’ good. Nobody pays any attention to us, Alec included. He doesn’t even notice that I’m there. I try very hard not to be peeved by that as I turn my attention to the news.

“Here are the pictures of what took place in sector eleven mere minutes ago,” the reporter announced in a serious tone and just a bit baffled.

A picture of a burning house fills up the screen. You can see a hysterical woman standing in front of it, screaming that her baby is still in there, trying to break away from the men that are holding her back from running into the building. My heart clenches. I can’t help but picture the tiny, helpless, little baby lying in its crib, its lungs filling with smoke...

My train of thoughts is interrupted abruptly when a beat up car suddenly screeches to a halt on the screen. Its windows are painted black so it’s impossible to tell who’s on the inside. Then the door is jerked open and my chin hits the floor…literally. It’s Mole. Mole is in that car and he actually gets out, right in the middle of a crowd of humans…voluntarily. Has he lost his mind?! Or did hell just freeze over?

He walks over to the woman, a blanket in hand, and in the politest tone he asks her where her baby is. He even calls her ma’am.

I think the woman’s face is just redefined the word “shocked”. Her reaction is similar to mine – she just stares at him dumbfounded for a long moment, eyes wide, mouth hanging open. Then she mumbles something about an upstairs bedroom. Mole turns away, muttering something about humans never being able to do anything themselves while dunking the blanket into a bucket of water that’s standing there.

And then he just walks right into the burning house. The camera pivots back to the woman who is now leaning against one of the men that had been holding her back a few minutes ago sobbing and staring at the house. She looks heartbroken and desperate but at the same time there’s a spark of hope in her eyes.

A minute later the camera is jerked back to the house and you can hear a collective gasp coming from the onlookers on scene. Some of them even cheer. Mole appears in the dense smoke, a bundle in his arms. As soon as he’s far enough away from the house he removes the wet blanket to reveal a crying baby. The woman rushes forward to him and snatches the baby out of his arms before crushing it to her chest, sobbing even more than before.

And Mole…Mole just gets back to his car as if nothing happened. But…oh shit – the car doesn’t start. Shit, shit, shit…this is not good. He tries again and again, but nothing happens. The motor sputters and chokes, but that’s about it.

The air here is practically crackling with tension. I’m sure you could cut it with a knife. And the sound of sirens in the distance doesn’t exactly help matters either. The authorities are the last thing Mole needs right now.

All of a sudden the crowd breaks apart and a motorcycle speeds through the thin pathway the people cleared. I immediately recognize the person riding it – it’s M. She screeches to a halt right next to the car and Mole jumps out and gets onto the bike behind her. Then they speed off. The whole thing happened in maybe ten seconds…it’s almost like she was never there.

Till now the people here watching the news were frozen into place, but all of a sudden the room explodes with noise. Everyone starts talking at once, moving around, doing this, doing that. Alec starts shouting out orders. He sends a few teams to the gate where Max is expected just in case she is followed, he tells the yeti-guy to check in with Max and see if she’s fine and everybody else is supposed to go back to business.

And I can’t help but think how incredibly hot he is, taking control like that. It’s strange, I always resented Max for doing it whenever he did – and that was damn often – but with Alec it’s completely different. Maybe because he’s not trying to order me around. Or maybe because he doesn’t have the stuck-up attitude Max always had. With him it just seems…fitting that he adopts the role of the leader. Authority suits him.

God, I want him.


Unfortunately Alec’s too busy to be ravished, so instead I decide to head over to Logan’s. Maybe he’s found out something in the mean time.

Having no ride, I have to walk, which sort of sucks. First of all, the part of Seattle surrounding TC isn’t exactly the nicest neighborhood, so walking through it isn’t exactly a walk in the part. You constantly have to be on your guard and I hate that. I have enough of that in my personal life as it is.

Second of all, it’s a damn long hike to get to Logan’s posh little penthouse in his posh little neighborhood. The fact that it’s raining doesn’t exactly help matters and neither does the ruthless wind chilling me to the bone. Maybe I didn’t mind the weather before, but then, I hadn’t been soaked down to the skin earlier.

When I finally get to Logan’s building I’m in as bad a mood as can be. I’m freezing, I’ve been hit on in the most disrespectful and repugnant way possible on the way here not once but twice and my head aches. Besides, it’s getting dark and that only makes Seattle even creepier than usual.

I let myself in and ride the elevator upstairs to the top floor. Since I’m here to nag and probably annoy Logan I decide to be polite for a change and knock on the door.

“Good heavens, what happened to you?” he asks after opening the door. He sounds kind of shocked.

I shrug. “It’s raining.” Way to go, Parker, like he didn’t already know that. On the other hand, what kind of stupid question is that anyway?

Logan ushers me into the living room and then leaves to get me a towel. I don’t dare to try and use my powers to dry my clothes, I’m in too bad a mood to succeed and I know it.

A minute later Logan comes back with a big fluffy towel and I do my best at giving him at least a somewhat grateful smile.

He’s looking down at me frowning. “You’re going to catch your death in cold,” he tells me. I begin to deny it, but then I realize that I can’t exactly tell him that my alien powers come along with a nifty little alien immune system which means that I probably can’t get sick.

“I’ll get you a bowl of soup,” Logan goes on. That’s when I notice the delicious smell coming from the kitchen as well as the fact that my stomach is growling. Normally I would have refused but, damn it I’m hungry.

He once again disappears and when he comes back he’s carrying a steaming bowl of soup. “It’s French onion soup,” he informs me. Go figure. Good old chicken soup probably isn’t good enough for him. But after the first spoonful I begin to understand where he’s coming from. God, this is good.

When I’m done I see Logan watching me with a queer expression on his face and I realize that I must have looked like I’m on the brink of starvation. I wipe my mouth almost guiltily. “Good,” I comment.

“So, did you see the news earlier today?” I ask, even though I have no idea why I bring that up. Smalltalk hasn’t exactly been a priority of mine every since coming to this shit-hole of a city. Could it be that I’m stalling? Me? Nah.

“Yeah, I did,” he replies.

“So, planning on doing one of your Eyes Only hacks?” I ask even though I already know the answer.

“Um, actually, yeah, I’ve been considering it.”

“Need any help?” I ask before I know what I’m doing.

He gaps at me surprised.

I almost blush as I fumble for words. “I, um, I had some ideas…for things that…you could, you know, say to, um…spin it to our advantage.”

He keep staring at me. Then he nods his head hesitantly. “Um…sure, why not?”

Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
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Updated 03/16/07 | Updated 02/10/08

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Post by Calinia » Tue Aug 31, 2004 5:45 am

Since I'm pretty sure it's been today for quite some time in Fiji, here's the new part. :wink:

It's, well, you'll see. Just really....really enjoy it for all it's worth cause, um, yeah...just do it.

I've been working on this, I'm right in the middle of part 21 right now. And I've planned out the rest of the story. I'd say we're about half way through.

Now to answer some questions...

Elf3748, I'm disappointed that you haven't come up with a really good threat to get me to update. Really. Haven't I been a good example for being evil and nasty and bitchy? I'm really starting to doubt myself here. :( Glad you liked the part. More Liz/Alec goodness coming up in this part.

Roswell Slayer, yup, definitely trying to butter you up. :wink: So, about those storie you wanted to write for me... :lol: I guess the main problem is that people are stupid...meaning the transgenic conflict is far from being solved.

RavenSprite, I'm glad you liked the part. I guess to Liz, Calvin is just a symbol for innocence and happiness, reminding her of herself but also of Alex, Maria & Kyle, all pre-alien-abyss. And being bitchy to someone is downright impossible if it just bounces right off them. I'm glad you liked the Alec/Max comparission, hehe. Liked that myself. Putting Max down is always nice. And yes, the parts of this one are short. Only about 1500 to 2000 words. Which makes it possible to update weekly, almost no matter how stressed I am.

Gioia, Liz is definitely drawn to lost causes, lol. She's not really realizing it yet though and once she does, well...you'll see. And you're prediction for the future is pretty good. Once again, thank you for your concern for my wellbeing. :lol:

WomanofMystery, I'm glad you like my Liz, writing her is lots of fun. Hehe, Liz can't believe she had sex in an alley either, so you're in good company. :wink: Liz did have the intention to also go to Logan's to bug him about the search for Ava, but once she's there she's so caught up in the Eyes Only hack that she doesn't even get to that. She'll be back though in part 21. Very observant btw. :D

lyra, I agree, Liz definitely needs someone like Calvin around. And I also agree that the walls she's built are too much for someone like her. But you know, walls get cracks and can crumble. She's still really hurt right now but lots of people are working on breaking through that wall, like Alec, Joshua, Calvin...even Logan. Eventually, they'lol succeed. Ah yes...Mole. He doesn't like humans, thinks they're stupid and annoying but that doesn't mean that he wants to see innocent babies dying. There's a heart somewhere under that armor and well, humans are just to stupid to take care of themselves. Why not prove his point? Remember that this takes place post-Dawg Day Afternoon so what we saw of Mole in Freak Nation never happened here. Also, Biggs never died so he's less bitter towards humans.

Tina N Blair, I agree, Calvin and Liz definitely have this siblings-who-like-each-other-vibe going on. Actually, Calvin was inspired by my little cousins. Granted, they're only 5, 8 and 11, but they are just so cute and adorable...I could never be mad at them no matter what they do. I'm glad you think Mole sounds spot on. While he thinks that humans are stupid and annoying, he doesn't want to see them die like that, especially not innocent babies. I'm glad you like my Liz, it's so much fun writing her. And to answer your queston, it will take some time till Ava shows up.

stargrl678, glad you liked it! I have the feeling you'll like this part too. :wink:

alexceasar, sorry, it's not my intention to kill my readers with suspence. Now, driving them a little crazy is fine, but if I kill them I won't have any readers left. :( The thig with the photo of Tess will be dealt with in part 21. Hope you can wait that long. :wink: And I'm glad you like my Liz. Writing her is so much fun, and so therapeutic after S3. Yuck.

vampiricheart, I know the parts are short, but because they're so short I can update every week and will be able to do so once school starts up again. Calvin is a cutie, isn't he? As for jealous Alec...wait and see. :wink: Bleeding knees?! Oh geez, now you're making me feel bad. That's mean. I'll tell my mommy.

Thanks for all the feedback, I enjoy reading all your thoughts so much. It's what drives me on.

Before I forget, I'm going on vacation to Greece in a few days. I'll be gone for a week, I'm leaving Thursday morning. Maybe I'll manage to sneak online while I'm there but I won't be able to update. So the next update will take a bit more than a week. Sorry. But believe me, I earned this vacation.

Anyway, here's the new part. For those who complained the last time, this one is longer. :wink: Hope you like it!


Part 19

“This is a streaming freedom video bulletin. The cable hack will last exactly 60 seconds. It cannot be traced, it cannot be stopped and it is the only free voice left in the city.”

Mole’s face flashes onto the screen.

“The face of a monster? A soulless killing machine? Or maybe a person willing to risk his life to save a helpless child from certain death? Despite the wave of hatred, fear and violence directed towards transgenics, this one did not hesitate to step up and help when ordinary humans failed. Without him the fire on Clayton Street earlier this morning would have turned into a tragedy. Thanks to him, eight-month-old Celia Chase is now at the hospital for observation with excellent chances of a full and quick recovery.

“So what do today’s events tell us about her savior? That he is a bigger person than us, willing to help those who have shunned him? That he has a soul, a heart, compassion enough to care about this helpless child, enough to risk his own life to save it? And how will this person be rewarded? With more hatred, more fear, more violence? Maybe it’s time we started questioning our stand when it comes to transgenics. And maybe it’s time we started asking ourselves who the real monsters here are. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Peace. Out.”


By the time I get home I am once again soaked. This rain is really starting to annoy me. I mean, come on! Can’t it stop? At least long enough for me to get home without ending up looking like a drowned rat?

Joshua isn’t here, probably staying in TC for the night. I think he mentioned something like that earlier today. Oh well. It’s not like I mind having the house to myself…even though it does sort of creep me out. It’s so dark and the wind is howling and…damn it, no electricity? Fucking brown outs…does it have to be tonight?

To make myself feel a bit better, I start lighting the candles that are scattered around the living room in case something like this happens…which is normally about every second day. Not that I’m scared or anything. Nope. Not me.

Then I go to my room and light the candles there as well. On my way back to the living room I pass the bathroom and my gaze just sort of clings to the tub.

Mmm…a nice hot bath would be perfect now. I spread some of my candles around the room before I get the water running. Add some of my Vanilla Musk bath oil and once the tub is half-full I heat up the water with my powers. That way if I overdo it – not that that like, ever happens – I can just add more cold water.

Surprise, surprise, I do overdo it. The frigin water even boils for a short moment. I really should get the hang of this soon. It’s embarrassing that I can’t master something as simple as heating water.

After a few minutes of adding cold water I carefully dip a finger into the water, then my whole hand. It’s still a bit too hot, but at least I won’t be in mortal danger when I get in. I close the door in case Joshua comes home after all and peel off my wet clothes. Then I climb into the tub and sink into the hot water…this is heaven. It’s exactly what I need after the day I had.

I just lie there, letting my mind drift. I didn’t realized how sore my body is until my muscles slowly start to relax. God, this feels better than sex…almost. I realize that sex is probably precisely the reason why I’m so sore in the first place, among other things, and damn it, I blush. Why, I do not know since nobody is here to see me, but I still do.

And it’s not even just my face. My whole body seems to be flushing and that’s not just coming from the hot water doing its thing. I can’t believe it. How can Alec have that affect on me when he’s not even here? I just have to think of the incident in the ally and I become all hot and bothered. What am I, a guy?

Suddenly the door burst open and, I swear, I almost jump out of my skin. My heart does some jumping of its own, landing in my throat, before it starts beating furiously.

“Alec! Have you lost your mind?! You almost gave me a heart attack!” I can’t believe him! What the hell does he think he’s doing?!

Then I look at him and realize that he looks like he’s close to a heart attack himself. He’s just staring at me, wide-eyed and panting like he just ran a marathon. His eyes have this feral look in them…it’s almost scary. Almost… Instead it sends a shiver down my spine, one that has little to do with fear.

“Alec?” I ask again, a bit calmer this time, but he just stares at me. “Okay, now you’re freaking me out. What’s wrong?” I’m seriously beginning to get worried here. I mean, this is like, the anti-Alec. I’ve never seen him like this before. Speechless and serious and…are those hints of fear I see in his eyes? Wow. Now he’s really scaring me.

“It…it’s nothing,” he tells me, still staring at me wide-eyed, still freaking me out. Then he seems to shake himself out of it because his smirk is back. Strange. I almost missed it.

He makes his way towards the tub and I scowl, making sure that I’m covered with bubbles. No idea why since it’s pretty dark, despite the candles, and he’s seen all this at least half a dozen times by now. And I had sex with him in an alley today for crying out loud! Maybe all the more reason…

“What are you doing here anyway? I’m taking a bath in case you haven’t noticed and I wouldn’t exactly mind some privacy.” My voice is as icy as I can muster and I give him my best alien-death-glare. He has that glint in his eyes and I do not like it. I like it even less when he lets his jacket drop to the floor.

Damn it, did he just take off his shirt? What the hell does he think he’s doing? Okay, now he’s unbuttoning his pants. Not liking this any more than before. And he’s still smirking. And, damn it he looks hot. Candle light really is becoming…it makes his skin glow, enhances his muscular chest in the best possible way…I remember wanting to ravish him earlier, but I block those thoughts.

“If you think you’re getting in here with me you got another thing coming,” I tell him.

Two seconds later he’s naked and on top of me. I try to ignore the fact that he’s pressed against me in the most intimate way…and hardening. “What part of ‘no’ did you not understand?” I ask baffled.

He smirks, presses himself against me even harder. “Just sorta lacked the sincerity.”

I’m about to throw some witty comeback at him, but he’s already kissing me.

And it’s not what I expected.

I expected fire. I expected passion, desire, lust. But it’s not any of that. His kisses are sweet and tender and soft, making me sigh and turning my insides into mush. It’s all so slow and airy and barely even there, almost desperately so. Then he pulls away. He’s smiling at me softly. Not smirking, smiling. I didn’t even know he was capable of that. And, damn it, I like it. I actually like it. What is wrong with me?

Then he moves off me and suddenly we’ve switched positions. He’s behind me now and I’m cradled against his chest. His warm, wet, very hard and very muscular chest. Sigh. I’m enjoying this way too much.

Then he wraps his arms around me and presses a soft kiss on my shoulder. My eyes drift shut and I just lie there. I’m trying hard not to, but I’m really enjoying this. Have I mentioned that before? It’s…nice. I feel safe, sheltered. Like I’m in this nice, warm cocoon where nothing and nobody could ever hurt me.

“Where’d you disappear to all of a sudden this afternoon?” His voice is barely more than a murmur and nonchalant enough, but somehow I get the feeling that there’s more behind his question than he’s letting on.

“Went home,” I tell him, my voice lazy and soft. “Stopped by Logan’s on my way.” Which is sort of a stupid thing to say since Logan’s apartment is anything but on my way home. Oh well. It’s close enough to the truth.

“You and Logan getting chummy?” And I just know that Alec is smirking. I can hear it in his voice. And even if I didn’t, I’d know it all the same. For Alec, that kind of comment just goes hand-in-hand with a smirk.

“That’s not the way I would put it.” It’s more like a professional relationship. But I can hardly tell Alec that.

“I was worried when I couldn’t find you anywhere. You could have told me you were leaving. I would have given you a ride.” His tone is soft, but I can hear his sincerity. I can hear that he really was worried. Damn it, what the fuck is happening here?

I shiver. I can’t help it. I don’t even know why, but his words got to me, found that one place in my heart that I’d been so good at keeping guarded lately. It’s supposed to be off-limits. How the hell did he get there?

I take a calming breath, then shrug. “You were busy,” is all I say, trying very hard not to show how affected I am by his words. Damn it, damn it, damn it! This is not the way this was planned. None of this wasn’t planned to be exact, but this was planned even less than the rest.

But then Alec’s hands start traveling over my body and within seconds I’ve forgotten everything else. He runs his hands over my arms, my stomach, my thighs. His touch is like his kisses were, soft and tender and slow, leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. He doesn’t seem in any kind of hurry, taking all the time in the world to explore my body. Like he hasn’t done that a million times before.

His lips start nibbling on my earlobe, then they trail kisses down my neck. I shiver, again. I don’t know how he always does that to me. Then his hands move upwards, gliding over my stomach before cupping my breasts. He teases my already hard nipples, his mouth never leaving my neck. I moan, arch my back. His touch is too tender, too soft. I want more, need more. This teasing has got to stop.

“Alec,” I moan squirming against him.

“Shh, baby,” he whispers. “Just relax.” I want to protest, want to tell him that relaxing is the last thing on my mind. But then his right hand glides down my body and slips between my already parted legs, making all thoughts just fly out my mind.

His fingers drift over my clit, making my groin tighten, before he parts my folds. I can’t help but gasp. One of my hands clenches the edge of the tub and my head falls back onto his shoulder as Alec continues his ministrations. Desire is radiating through my body, laced with passion and lust. I feel like every inch of me is on fire. I lift my hips without even knowing what I’m doing, pressing myself harder against Alec’s hand. I’m aching for more and Alec seems to know that. He increases the speed, increases the pressure and then he slips a finger inside me.

Little gasps and moans are escaping from my lips. I can’t help it. Molten heat is shooting into my groin and my whole body begins to tremble. I don’t think I can take this much longer.

“Oh God,” I groan as release washes through me, hot and liquid and perfect. I simply melt under Alec’s touch. I can’t help it.

It takes some time till I can breathe again, even longer until I find it possible to open my eyes and blink away my blurred vision. I’m still trembling in the aftermath of my orgasm.

That’s when I notice that Alec is raining kisses down my neck. And that my left hand is still clutching the tub. It’s starting to cramp. I release the tub and stretch my fingers.

Then I turn around and crush my lips onto Alec’s. I’m in control now, and I have no interest in keeping things soft and tender. I bite his lower lip just to make my point before thrusting my tongue in his mouth. He doesn’t seem to mind the change in pace, or at least he’s not complaining. Not that I’m really giving him the chance to. I felt like ravishing him earlier today, and guess what? I’m feeling like it again.

Alec suddenly gets up, never breaking our kiss. I’m wrapped around his body as he steps out of the tub.

“What are you doing?” I murmur in between kisses.

“Bathwater and condoms don’t mesh well,” he tells me.

I raise an eyebrow. Whatever. Then my mouth crashes into his again and he stumbles back, crashing into the bathroom door. I smile. This seems to be affecting Alec even more than I thought. I press my lower body into his before I begin to rub myself against him.

He groans, curses. I smirk. “Bedroom,” is all I say. He doesn’t have to be told twice.

When we get there we tumble onto the bed. After that everything becomes blurry. I thought I was in control, but somewhere between the bathroom and the bedroom, I lost it again. Alec’s hands are all over me, his mouth is wrecking havoc on my senses. Then he dons a condom and thrusts into me. He keeps the pace slow at first, tender, while raining kisses over my face, my neck, my chest. When his lips finally meet mine his kiss is soft and gentle, holding back the passion and fire I feel simmering just under the surface.

And it gets to me.

God…he’s making me feel all these things, want all these things. What is he doing? Doesn’t he know that’s a dangerous direction to be heading in?

Apparently not and soon enough I forget about it myself. His pace quickens and I get lost in the moment, lost in Alec, lost in us. I feel it building, feel the first tremors racing through my body. I moan, dig my nails into Alec’s back. Then Alec thrusts into me one last time and something inside me explodes. Release crashes into me, ripping me away from the here and now, swallowing me whole. The feelings are too intense, too much to bear, and yet not enough. I shudder and convulse and Alec’s name escapes my lips as a muffled scream. When I regain my senses my whole body is still shaking.

Wow. Talk about intense.

Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
holier than thou | katastrophee
Updated 03/16/07 | Updated 02/10/08

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Post by Calinia » Tue Sep 14, 2004 12:20 pm

Hey guys, sorry for the wait. I got home from my vacation Thursday evening, and Friday afternoon I left again to go to my cousins to babysit them since their parents were on vacation. I was there for the weekend and despite several attempts to write and go online to update this, it just wasn't possible. Try concentrating while three boys aged 6 to 11 are bouning around on top of you...literally. Try luring three kids away from the computer right after they got a brand new computer game just so that you can go online. Trust me, it's impossible. But it was a nice weekend, despite incidences like the oldest sitting on the middle one and cutting off his breath so long until he had to vomit. That one was nice.

Anyway, here's a new part. I told you to enjoy the last one and you'll know why after reading this. I'm not really gonna say much more to it. Just don't kill me, okay?

burningchaos, hmm, what freaked Alec out so much? Well, he was obviously close to a panic attack at first, but he calmed down pretty quickly once he found Liz. Was it maybe because of her departure from TC without saying goodbye? :wink: And as for Liz being able to hold out so long...let's just say she's really good at resisting temptation if she has what she sees as a good reason.

alexceasar, sorry for not posting again before leaving, it got really stressy. Hmm, don't think that's a word. Anyway, I'm glad you like how I write Alec. He's not the easiest character to write. As for Liz letting Alec get to her...I'm afraid she's not quite as happy about that as you are. But she'll get there...eventually.

Roswell Slayer, trust me, you're not the only one who wants to trade places with Liz. Get in line, lol. Ah, Alec, that old softie, hehe. Yup, he cares for Liz. Sigh. I thought him worrying about her was sweet too. Glad you liked the Eyes Only hack. One of the big goals of this fic is to solve the transgenic problem and this is the beginning.

lyra, when it comes down to it, Liz and Alec are nothing but big, mushy softies, lol. But they have issues and walls...Liz even more so than Alec. It will take some time till they can both get over themselves and just be happy. Sigh...very annyoying those too, hehe. And I'm sorry that I got you all hot and bothered. Okay, I'm lying. I'm not. That was sort of the intention. Glad I succeeded. :wink:

LittleBit, thanks. I'm almost blushing, hehe. It means a lot coming from a smut queen like you.

QtMaNdY37, glad you liked it. Yup, Alec sure can be sweet...if he wants to. And he does care for Liz. And...sigh...he is sweet, isn't he?

minx, I'm really glad you like DTD and this so much. Hehe, Calvin is such a cutie. And yes, Liz is finally admitting to falling for Alec. But she doesn't like it, not one bit, as you'll see in this part. And the confrontation is coming up, but it may take some more time, don't know how long exactly.

Tina N Blair, my cousins are adorable...when they're asleep, lol. Alec did seem pretty worried, huh? Hmm...wonder why that is. Maybe because Liz just disappeared from TC without even saying goodbye? As for the bathtub scene, any scene with a naked Alec, a bathtub and candle light is bound to be hot, no matter how sucky you write it, lol. But I'm glad you like it. And I'm really, really glad you like my Liz. I love writing her. And yes, this time was definitely different. Your observation is dead on that this was a lot more like making love than just having sex. It's a real turning point in their relationship. Now, Alec is more or less willing and able to accept this but Liz? Different story all together. You'll see what I mean in this part.

WomanofMystery, I'm glad you think the Eyes Only hack sounds like the ones on the show, I kept editing and rewriting it. It was driving me crazy. And see, I knew you were observant. That's exactly what happened with Alec. And yes, his feelings run a lot deeper than just sex. But it will take some time till that is ever brought up. Hehe, I wouldn't mind seeing a topless Alec in candle light either. Get in line, girl. And I'm glad you liked the sex scene. Writing Alec/Liz smut is lots of fun. And yes, she's finally admitting that she has feelings for him. But she's not exactly liking it. You'll see what I mean in this part.

RavenSprite, I'm glad you liked the smut. It was fun writing it, hehe. You really got what's going on with both Liz and Alec. While they're both developing feelings for the other, they're both reluctant to admit them, most of all of course Liz. She's going to fight this, it will take some time till she can accept and embrace the feelings she has for Alec. And I'm glad you got the meaning of the smile. It's sort of a turning point for Alec and I wanted to highlight that.

stargrl678, I'm glad you liked this. Thanks for the feedback!

Elf3748, yup, Alec was worried. Sigh. He can be so sweet. Glad you liked the part. Oh, and before I forget, I just love your avi! It rocks. I'll have to remember that one, hehe...

Polar Thestral, I'm really glad you're liking this. As for the chemistry between Alec and Liz, I don't have the feeling that I created it. It's just...there. Those two are just...words fail me, lol. As for them not pushing her, Max tried, but Liz wouldn't budge and Alec...well, he's a different story all together. And they're actually the only two transgenics who know anything, besides Joshua. But Joshua is so greatful, he couldn't care less what Liz is. And after everything Liz did for them I guess she really earned their trust. But her secret will eventually come out and she will find Ava...eventually. As for the reactions of the transgenics, you'll see. :wink: Hehe, I melt whenever writing Alec, so I know how you feel. Sigh. Such a hottie.

vampiricheart, Liz is definitely a lot more reluctant than Alec. Nope, Max and Logan don't know about their affair. I haven't really thought about that, but they'll find out eventually.

KnightOwl, why do people who read DDIO and DTD always resist reading this one? Is there something daunting about this fic? Anyway, I'm glad you checked this out after all, and that you're liking it. As for Liz, a lot of shitty things happened to her so she's built up lots of walls, trying to shut people and emotions out to keep herself from being hurt again. But, as you correctly observed, her old self is still there, burried somewhere underneath the pain. She won't ever be able to go back to that, but she won't stay where she is now either. In the end, she'll come out stronger and more mature. Alec definitely has deeper feelings for Liz and Liz...well, let's face it, who could resist Alec in the long run? But she's not liking it one bit, scrambling the rebuild her walls. You'll see what I mean in this part. Ah...Calvin. He's a cutie, isn't he? And Liz will eventually find her place with the transgenics and more of her old personality will eventually come out. But it will take some more time.

Guys, what did I tell you about leaving so much feeback? It's a bitch to reply to it all, lol. Nah, just kidding. You know I love each and every reply I get.

Anyway, enough blabbing. Here's the next part.

Part 20

Whatever I was expecting when I woke up, it definitely wasn’t this. The first sunrays are peeking through my musty, new curtains that are more or less blocking my view on the outside, giving everything this bluish-pinkish glowing hue. Now, it’s surprising enough to not be woken by the patter of rain against the window, not to mention actual sunshine, but that’s not even what I’m talking about.

It’s Alec.

He’s lying beside me. He’s in my bed. He’s still here. He’s lying beside me, in my bed, on his stomach, facing me. He’s still asleep. And he has the most peaceful look on his face. He looks so…pure. And innocent. Like an angel almost. Okay, so obviously Alec fucked my brains out last night…literally. I’ve clearly gone insane. Alec an angel? Yeah, right. In what alternative universe?

Then my eyes wander lower and I swallow. He’s still naked. And the sheets aren’t exactly covering a lot of him. His butt for example, is mostly exposed. I have to fight the urge to crawl down and just bite it. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before, bite somebody’s butt. Actually, I’m pretty damn sure that I’ve never done that before. For a brief moment I wonder if he always sleeps in the buff, but I quickly push those thoughts away again. That is not what I should be thinking about right now, I mentally chastise myself.

I shift and suddenly realize something else. His arm is draped across my stomach. How the hell am I going to get up without waking him now?

I sigh. I can’t believe he’s still here. Why is he still here? I mean…why? Seriously. I just…I don’t have any clue what to do. I’ve never had a morning after before, not with a guy I’d just slept with in any case. I snuck out while Sean was still asleep and so far Alec and I have never spent a whole night together either. What the fuck changed? A nagging voice in the back of my mind tells me that I know damn well what changed, that I knew it even before last night, but I choose to ignore it. Denial is bliss, almost more so than ignorance.

Alec stirs and I hold my breath. He doesn’t open his eyes though and so I decide that it’s at least worth a shot. Slowly I begin moving to the left, trying to slide my body out from underneath his arm. After about two seconds said arm clamps down on me, inhibiting any further movement on my part. Glancing at his face, I realize that Alec is awake…and smirking at me.

“Going somewhere, sweetheart?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “How long have you been awake?”

He grins cheekily at me. “A while.”

I just glare as I struggle to get up, taking the sheets with me as to cover up my naked form that was, up to know, as exposed as Alec’s. No need to feel even more naked – both literally and figuratively – than I already do.

Alec on the other hand doesn’t seem to mind that he’s buck naked. God damn it, he even roles onto his back. I swallow, trying hard to keep my gaze from wandering. I don’t quite succeed.

Have I mentioned that I have no idea how to deal with this kind of thing? It’s awkward and it’s making me feel unsure and vulnerable, a combination I just hate. Couldn’t he have just snuck out in the middle of the night like any other jerk looking to get laid?

I shift my weight to my other foot. His still staring at me and there’s this gleam in his eyes that I know all too well. I swallow.

“Um, are you hungry?” I ask out of lack of anything else to say. I need to get his mind off…me.

He smirks as his burning gaze latches onto my barely-covered body. “Oh yes.” His voice is husky and rough and I shiver. I fucking shiver. Can you believe that?

I glare at him, suddenly remembering that anger is the best remedy out there against awkwardness and pretty much any other feeling in the book. “That’s not what I meant,” I bite out. “I wanted to know if you want something to eat?”

He just grins at me, the gleam in his eyes intensifying . Uh-uh. I’m in trouble here.


When I leave the house dark clouds have blocked the sun from my view once again. Surprise, surprise. Bad weather in Seattle - stop the presses. The wind is picking up, chilling me down to my bones. I should have taken a jacket with me. It looks like it’s gonna rain. After last night one would think that I’ve learned not to underestimate the weather in this dump of a city. But alas, some people never learn. And I’m obviously one of them.

I’m trying my hardest to keep my thoughts off what just happened back at Joshua’s but it’s just fucking impossible. My cheeks burn with embarrassment and something else that I prefer to keep nameless. It’s not lust and it’s not desire. It’s not! I feel absolutely no urge to turn around, hunt down Alec and make him do all those glorious things he did all over again.

Remind me to never mention the words ‘hungry’ or ‘eating’ to Alec ever again, especially not so close together. He takes it all wrong, let me tell you.

I can’t believe what he did, what I let him do…wanted him to do. Fuck it, did I beg?

I’m pathetic. I’m a slut. Easy. God, and I don’t even regret it.

And that’s not even the biggest problem right now. I’m letting him in. I know it, as much as I’ve been trying to deny it. The last thing I should be doing, but I…I just can’t help it. No matter how often I tell myself that I don’t even like him, that all he does is to annoy me, that it’s just sex…damn good sex, mind you, but just sex all the same…it’s just not true. You only get so far with lying to yourself and I’ve reach the end of that road.

Oh hell. This is bad. This is so, so very bad. He’s making me feel things. He’s making me smile. He’s breaking down my walls. I actually enjoy being around him. Not that I’d ever show him any of those things, but for some freaky reason I think he knows it all the same. How? Intuition? Alien powers? Who cares. He knows…I can feel it.

And all that…it just scares the shit out of me.

I can’t do this again…opening myself up to someone, maybe even falling for him. Then getting hurt, getting my heart broken, my soul shattered. I couldn’t take it. I wouldn’t survive it a second time. Hell, I barely even survived the first time. To be exact, I’m not even sure if I did survive the first time. I’m not anywhere close to getting over that…or even starting.

So why did I ever get involved with Alec in the first place? Damn hormones. Damn lust. And damn him…if he weren’t so hot and gorgeous and drool-worthy none of this would have ever happened. I wouldn’t have had any reason to throw myself at him. God…did I mention that I’m pathetic?

I can’t believe the direction I’m heading in…again. Don’t I ever learn? How could I be so fucking stupid? I did the same thing with Max…he hurt me time and time again and I just kept letting him in again, taking him back, forgiving him. Didn’t that teach me anything?

Granted Alec hasn’t hurt me. Yet.

But that’s only a matter of time…and opportunities. I know what kind of guy he is. I know about his dating habits…if you can even call them that. I know about the way he treats women. M didn’t leave out any details. She was quite explicit, her message clear. If you don’t want to have your heart broken, steer clear off Alec. Nothing good could ever come from being with him, sleeping with him. Falling for him.

I used to despise guys like him…players. Guys who’d do anything to get a girl into bed, not caring about her feelings, not caring that they were destroying a part of her soul by using her for their own selfish reasons. How the fuck did it happen that I started sleeping with one of them?

God only knows what Alec has been up to these past weeks. How many girls have there been besides me? How often did he sneak form my bed into one of theirs or the other way around? The sick feeling in my stomach magnifies and I have to fight against the tears burning in my throat. How could I be so naïve? How could I not think about any of this earlier, realize how it would affect me? Again.

You can’t trust men. Can’t fall in love with them in any case, not if you want to hang on to your sanity. I of all people should know that. Men are good for exactly one thing. Well, three actually – sex, carrying heavy stuff and killing spiders. You shouldn’t rely on them for anything else, least of all your emotional welfare. Just look where that got me the last time. Two years of absolute misery with just enough bright spots in between to keep me hanging on to something that was beyond hope from day one on.

I vowed I’d never let that happen again. That I’d never give someone so much power over me, over my happiness again. And yet, here I am, about to repeat the exact same mistake. Looks like I really never learn.

And with Alec of all people! That’s like an open invitation to having him trample all over my heart. How could I let this happen? How could I let this go so far without putting a stop to it earlier? Before I came close to losing myself all over again?

I don’t know. I just don’t know. Denial? False hope? Ignorance? All three together?

Oh, who cares? Whining about the past won’t change it. I can only look forward, try my best to correct the multitude of mistakes I’ve made. And that means no more seeing Alec. Definitely no more sleeping with Alec. If I don’t want to come out of this broken beyond repair, I need to stay away from him.

My resolve in place, I change the direction of where I was heading. I have other things to worry about, other things that are more important than getting laid on a regular basis. I need to find Ava. It’s why I came here, isn’t it? No more letting myself get sidetracked by emotional ties or carnal desires. No more getting involved in things that are none of my fucking business. I can’t keep letting myself get dragged into this stuff. That was how it started in Roswell, right? And I simply refuse to go down that road and through all that shit again. For once in my life I’m gonna think about myself and no one else. It’s high time.

Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
holier than thou | katastrophee
Updated 03/16/07 | Updated 02/10/08