FINDING HOME (AU,M/L,MATURE) [WIP]

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Twilighteyes
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CH 51

Post by Twilighteyes »

OK so I am a horriable horriable person. Its just this part sucks so bad! And I have played with it and played with it..... And it just gets worst and worst so I give up. If it wasn't for the fact that I need it to set up for the next couple of chapters I would just delete! Delete! Delete!




CHAPTER 51


LIZ POV


Gripping onto Michael's shirt as if my life depended on it.

Michael who never lied to me.

Michael who always told me the truth.

"Please." Begging him once more.

Michael the warrior who always protected his friends.

Protected me.

"Michael." Coming out a desperate cry.

Just make it all stop. Just make it stop.

I can't do this. I can't do this.

Words and the their means swirl around in my head.

"Shhh... Liz. I got you. I have you." Michael pulling me tighter. "Your not alone anymore. Your not alone. I'm going to fix this."

Michael. Please......

"I'm going to take care of you. It's all going to be alright now. I promise. I promise. It's all going to be alright now. Its going to be alright."

Michael will help me.

Michael will fix this....

He will stop this.

"I'm here. I'm here. It's going to be OK now. I promise. I promise."

Yes.

Thank you.

Overwhelming release from all feelings and emotions sending me once more into the safety of darkness.

Thank you....

##############################################################


Nothingness cocooned me. Wrapping around me. Loosing my grip on the terror and pain that held me. Making me feel safe once more.

"Michael? Liz?" Max's concerned voice breaking through the edge of my subconscious.

Nikita's low warning growl.

That's it boy. Tell them to let me stay.

"Michael?" Max slightly louder. "Michael, what the hell is going on? What did you do?"

Michael.

Michael would take care of everything.

Michael will keep us all safe.

"Back off Max." Michael growling back.

You tell him Mike.

"NO Michael I'm not." Max using his I am king voice.

"Max. Just back off and let me get Liz settle."

Settled?

I'm fine where I am.

Low warning growl rumbling from Nikita's throat.

"I'm just taking her into the house." Michael's voice coming once more.

Nikita growling once more.

"So what do you suggest? She can't stay out here under the tree forever."

"The barn?"

"Your listening to a wolf now?" Disbelief lacing Max's voice.

"Liz trusts him."

"Michael?"

"Just grab her blanket and pillow."

"Your sure this is a good idea."

"I'm not sure of anything." Michael's voice once more soft.

"What happened MIchael?" Max's voice pleading once more.

"I'm not sure... One minute we were right there in front of you. The next we were........ I guess in her head. Maybe.... Look Max. I don't know. That's really not what is important."

"And what is?"

"The fact that Liz talked to me."

"She talked to you." Doubt lacing Max's voice once more.

"Yes. I got to see and feel what she was feeling. At the moment we were in at the time and now."

"At the time? Now? What?"

"Look Max, the point is she is scared. Terrified is more like it. Overwhelmed by everything. Lost. In pain."

Lost?

Is that what I am?

"We know this."

"Yes and no Max." Michael sighing. "You don't understand the depth of it all. No one really did."

"After everything that she has been through. I would think...." Sighing. "So explain it to me." Max sounding defeated once more.

"She feels like she is drowning when your around Max."

"What?"

"Everything you feel Max. She feel it's too."

"Because of our connection. That's good Michael. That means she feels my love."

"Yes, but it also means she feels the fear, pain, disappointment, longing, hurt and everything else you that you feel too. She feels it all from you Max. Like it's double or tripled or something. It's not normal. It takes over everything else that she feels and senses at that moment. I felt what she felt. It takes over everything. Overwhelming to the point...... I don't think she knows how the handle it. Hell, I didn't know how to handle it. It was like all this pressure. Raw. Like every nerve I had was on fire. I couldn't breath. I didn't know what to do... Then suddenly Liz was there and I felt nothing once more."

"I don't understand."

"I didn't know either. It's like everything was heighten to the point of extreme."

"Ok..."

"Raw and painful. Then it was like she took it all and locked it away inside of her. So she, we couldn't feel anything at all again. Couldn't stand to feel it.... Not being able to control the flow of emotions so it wasn't so .... Harsh. Liz had to lock it all away."

"I wonder if it's because she spent the last two years trying not to feel anything that she no longer knows how to process the simplest of emotion that it feels so much bigger or if it's the fact that she is trying to block out any kind of feeling at all so she doesn't have to deal with the past. The present. The good or the bad because she can't deal. Drowning. She said she felt like she was drowning. That she didn't want to feel anything. That's why she doesn't like to be touched. It's not just what she remembers. It's the connection too. It's too much. That she couldn't. I don't know. I don't know yet. I have to think this through more."

"So what am I suppose to do. Go away? Stay away from her? I don't think I can do that Michael. I can't. She is everything to me."

"I think that is one of the problem Max. She feels and knows how you feel. It's adding all this extra pressure. Liz is in constant fear that she is going to hurt you. Hurt us. Not only that but is putting us in danger."

"But she isn't."

"Isn't she?"

"Michael."

"Think about it Max. Every time she pulls away from you."

"But... I understand... I know that it's going to take time."

"But it still hurts you Max. Don't even try to deny it. I don't need to a connection to know that."

"I can't leave her Michael."

"I know Max."

"But I don't want to hurt her either."

"I don't think you leaving is what she needs. Max. Liz needs you. I know this. You just need to back off some."

"What do you think I have been doing."

I wish they would quit talking about me.

"I know Max. I know. But that not all. Liz said she is dead."

"WHAT?"

"She feels like she died. That she killed herself after.... that night."

"That's crazy. She just confused."

"Is it? Think about it. After what they did to her. Her... Her cutting her own wrist. She wanted to die that night. Anyone would of."

"But she IS alive."

"Yes. But she also no longer Liz Parker."

"Michael." Max's warning growl.

"Think about it Max. Just think. Like Alec said. She not our Liz anymore. She is no longer that carefree lovable girl. To much has happened to her. She remembers everything. Reliving everything. No one. No one can ever be the same after that. No one. Not even Liz."

"She's going to be alright."

"I mean it Michael. Liz is going to be alright."

"She has to be...." Pain lacing everyone of Max's words.

I don't want to be here anymore.

I don't want to hear this.....

"I know Max. And that is exactly what I promised her. But saying it and having it done is too different things Max."

Feeling myself slip further away into the nothingness.
Dig my grave,
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
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Twilighteyes
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Re: FINDING HOME (M/L mature) ch 51 4/14

Post by Twilighteyes »

Have I ever told you guys how much I love ya and thank you so so so much for the feedback. It's the only reason I write! Even if you are great liars about a horrible part being good! :D THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

Sorry so short...... But I need to give you something! Summer is here so the parts should be coming faster now! At least I hope!!!!!


CHAPTER 52


LIZ'S POV

The roaring of a distant ocean. A cry of a bird not to far away. Warm slight breeze gliding over my still body.

Resisting the urge to open my eyes at the brightness that laid behind my closed eye lids.

Wanting nothing more to fade into the nothingness that protected me just moments before.

Waiting for the inedible pounding of pain in my head that was sure to start with the binding emotions that will rush once more from everyone's slightest touch.

Heavy sigh.

Feeling the bed shift beneath me.

Soft whisper. "Not that I don't think you could use the rest, since the dark circles are still under your eyes. But since I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming or at the very least hallucinating. I'm thinking your not really here. Not that its actually possible that I am either. Could you at least open those beautiful eyes of yours for me."

Alec?

Opening my eyes to a white ceiling with dark wooden beams running across.

Turning my head to see him lying beside me.

Alec.

Feeling the anxiety that was starting to settle over me lift immediately.

Alec.

"Hey." Alec smiling sadly back at me. "Their they are. Your eyes always did captivate me. They always held such intelligence and emotion. As if you could see into my very soul."

"Alec."

"That's my name." Giving me one of his brilliant smiles.

"Is this a dream?"

"If it is it's a good one."

Nodding my head yes.

Very good.

"You Ok kid?"

No.

Nodding my head yes again.

"Liar." Patting the tip of my nose with his finger.

Feeling a small smile tug at my lips.

"It will get better with time."

"With time?" Doubt lacing my words.

"Everything always does. Time has a way of doing that. Or at the very least..... it ends."

If only...

"How are they treating you?"

Shrugging my shoulder.

"I'm sure they are trying their best."

"Yes."

They always do.

"It's not easy for them. In a lot of ways I bet they 're just as lost as you are."

Are they?

"How do you like my place? I loved it there. Even more than here. The fresh air. The cool water. Have you had a chance to go swimming yet? The water is always freezing but it's invigorating. The fruit trees should be blooming nicely this time of the year. You should also be able to find wild strawberries, raspberries, and blue berries. I scattered the bushes around. The night sky was always amazing....."

"When are you coming Alec?" Cutting him off.

Sadness creeping into his eyes.

Feeling a slight tightening in my chest.

"Your not coming." Feeling my eyes sting with unwanted tears.

"Your safe there, Elizabeth. No one knows. No one still doesn't know."

"Please Alec." Turning on my side to face him. "Please."

I need you.

"He doesn't know. I made sure of it. Your still safe."

"Please." Feeling the tears wash down my cheek.

"I'm trying Elizabeth." Giving me a half smile. Whispering. "There's just a few more things I need to take care of."

"No. Just come to me. Please."

"I wish I could." Letting out a soft sigh.

"Your so far away. I need you."

Feeling as if our time was growing short.

"You don't need me Elizabeth. Not anymore. I have already done all I can for you. There is nothing more I can do for you."

"I'll always need you now." Whispering "Please!" Coming out a desperate cry.

"I will be here as long as I can Elizabeth." Tear slipping down his cheek matching mine.

"Alec...." Swallowing the lump that was forming in my throat. "Please."

"Your not humpty dumpty Elizabeth. They will put you back all together again. You just need to give him a chance..."

Please.

"You need to start eating." Touching my face with his finger tips. "Max really does good work." Tucking a loose strain of hair behind my ear. "Now just trust him to heal your heart too."

Feeling the familiar pull once more.

No Alec......

"Goodbye Elizabeth."

Blinking my eyes.

The bight ceiling becoming dark old wooden roof. Hay sticking out of the rafters above.

What?

Feeling the warm fur shifting beside me. Nikita taking his head off my chest. Nuzzling it under my arm.

"Alec." Feeling the tears sting my eyes.

"No." Coming a whisper in the corner.

Looking over to see Max standing there. "I'm sorry he hasn't made it back yet. I'm sure he will, as soon a possible."

Taking a deep breath and bracing myself for the emotion that were bound to take over. Pulling myself up so I would be sitting. Pain in my head coming at once more but nothing else.

"Does it hurt bad?"

Looking up to see Max staring at me intensely.

What?

Shaking my head no slightly. Increasing the pounding.

"Liar." Sad smile on his face using the exact same word that Alec used just moments before.

Feeling the smile tug lightly at my lips once more.

Alec....

They are a lot alike.

"How about hungry?"

Max.......

Nodding his head as if he heard me say his name. "Didn't think so." Watching him look out the doorway. "Want to go for a walk?" Doubt lacing his words. Not looking at me.

Nikita standing as if she understood the question. Waggling her tail slightly.

Walk?

Nikita nodding me.

Why not...

Shifting to stand up. Sharp pounding increasing.

Darkness coming from all sides before fading back once more. Nikita's warning growl as hands steadying me.

"Liz?" Coming in a soft whispering in front of me.

Looking up at Max's face. His every watchful eyes searching mine.

Max.

His hand reaching up and touching my cheek. Closing my eyes leaning into his hand. Feeling his warmth on my face. Tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear. Cradling my head. Soft whisper in my ear. "Trust me Liz. Let me take the pain away."

Opening my eyes to see his face inches from mine.

Comfortable warmth spreading through me.

"Max....." Coming out breathy whisper. Staring at his lips.

Max staring at me a moment. Sighing. Letting me go. "Maybe later then." Taking a step back. Eyes full of pain.

Disappointment filling me.

Nikita whining at the barn door.

"Lets go." Tilting his head towards the door. Holding his hand out for me.

Looking at his hand to his face back to his hand again.

What has changed?

"You have nothing to lose." Max softly.

Don't I?

Placing my hand in his. Feeling the warmth spread through me and nothing more.

My Max.

Feeling a smile tug at my lips once more.
Dig my grave,
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
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Twilighteyes
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Re: FINDING HOME (M/L mature) ch 52 6/3

Post by Twilighteyes »

OMG I MISSED THIS SITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE FEEDBACK!!!!

CHAPTER 53


MAX'S POV

Liz looking uncertain a moment before placing her hand delicately in mine. Easing some of the pain from our lost connection but not really dulling the edge it held.

Who ever thought it would be like this...

It's like a piece of me is missing even though she is right here next to me.

Leading her out of the barn into the twilight. To the small over grown path that lead to the lake that was starting to be illumined by the rising full moon. Keeping my pace slow. Nikita looking at me cautiously before bounding away a head of us.

I guess I'm no threat then.

Just letting the warmth and presence of Liz surround me. Fill that empty place inside of me.

"Do you like it here?" Stopping by the waters edge a short while later.

It was different then the landscape we grew up in.

You always loved the desert. Would you learn to love it here in the vast green as well?

Feeling the guilt go through me once more of taking her home away from her.

I took you away from everything.

Looking down to see if there was any pain or regret on her face but seeing nothing but her awe and beauty.

Liz nodding her head yes. "It's beautiful." Looking out at the lake and the stars that were beginning to show in the sky before looking back at me.

"I agree." Not taking my eyes off Liz's face.

You always were the most beautiful thing in the world to me.

Watching the blush raise on Liz's cheeks.

Making her even more beautiful then she was before if that was possible.

Clearing my throat and forcing my eyes off of her and returning them to the stars and lake.

"You just need to back off a little Max." Michael's words echoing in my head.

I'm trying!

"Do you want to stop here or are you up to walking some more?"

"Um here good." Liz looking down at the ground.


Elated in the fact that she was talking.

Pulling her carefully over to a rock that we could both sit upon. Willing myself to loosen my grip on her hand so she can take it away if she needed too. Not being able to release it fully on my own power.

I'm trying Liz. I'm trying.

"Max I maybe be able to help you break the connection or block it at least. It will be painful for you though." Tess words ringing in my ears. Seeing her clearly as if she was standing next to me.

"And Liz? Will it hurt her? She has been through so much already."

"No." Shaking her head. "Only you. It's her lose you will feel."

"Then lets do it. Now."

"Max..... I don't even know for sure if this will work. I don't want you to get your hopes up."

"I don't care we have to try."

"Max..... You really need to think carefully about this first. I have watched you build your whole world around her. Your very excistance. We are talking about taking that away from you. Do you understand that? A whole peice of you. would feel gone. I wouldn't have even thought about sugesting it before.... But with Liz and the way she is reacting to.... us..."

Taking her by the arms. "I have to try Tess. Please. I'm hurting her. I'm hurting her still. I can't hurt her anymore. I can't."

So we tried.

We. I. With Tess's help went into myself and found Liz. That connection I had formed and took from her when I healed her all those years ago and when I let her see into me. That just kept getting stronger the more Liz changed. The stronger she grew the stronger the connection became. Liz couldn't control the connection we shared but I could. I could turn it off for her in me.

Leaving me hollow inside.

Incomplete.

It was like ripping out my heart.

My soul.

Rubbing my thumb over her hand that I held.

Tess did warn me....

"I still remember the first time I saw you. I just stepped off the bus and there you were. It took my breath away. I never thought anything could be as beautiful as you were. At the time just to be in the same world as you was enough. That uncertainty and lost feeling I had all that time was gone. I suddenly found my place. I remember I wanted so much to go over and take your hand in mine." Squeezing her hand lightly. "Run my fingers through your soft hair. I remember thinking how small and delicate you looked. How fragile. I just wanted to hold and protect you forever. I didn't even know you and somehow you became apart of my world. Then Paully pushed Alex and you raced over to him. Pushing him back. Yelling at him to leave Alex alone. Paully pushed you and you fell back so hard." Taking a breath. "I started to go over. I wanted to kill him. I was just so furies. I couldn't understand how someone could be so cruel. How someone, anyone could want or to be able to hurt you like that. How I could feel so protective about someone I didn't even know yet. It was like how I felt about protecting Isabel but deeper. Isabel grabbed my hand and tried to pull me back. I was literally dragging her along with me as she pleaded with me not to get involved."

"I got up and punched him in the nose." Looking up at me. Making actual eye contact.

Liz.

My Liz.

Feeling my heart start to race.

It was all worth it if it meant that she was coming back to me.

Smiling. Nodding my head. "Yes you did. I was maybe three steps away from him and you just got up and hit him. I couldn't believe this little girl just took down someone half her size."


"Paully was a bully, he always tried to pick on people smaller then him. You just had to stand up to him and he always backed down." Shrugging her shoulders as if it was no big deal. "I shouldn't have hit him though."

Smile. "I wanted to do worst. You have always been so brave."

"Not always." Shaking her head no.

"Always taking care of your friends."

"They would do it for me." Looking away from me.

"Your the bravest person I know."

Shaking her head no. Looking at me once more. "No......"

Placing a finger over her lips to silence her.

Lowering my voice. "Even now Liz after everything that has happened. Everything that was done to you. I was a mess, no broken after just twenty-four hours of what they did to me. Not even a fraction of what they did to you and. And you." Shaking my head. "You. Your still standing. Still fighting. Still so worried about your friends. Still putting them first. You don't realize how amazing you really are. How strong. Then again you never did see yourself very clearly."

"I see myself for what I am Max. You always held my higher then the rest." Taking our joined hands and placing them on her lap.

It's because your better then the rest of us.

"No. I have always seen you for what you are Liz. What you truly mean to everyone else."

Liz placing her other hand over our joined one. Watching her eyes open to look out at the water once more

"When I healed you the first time Liz. I never meant any of this to happen. I never wanted....." Blinking away the tears that stung my eyes and threaten to fall. "I never..... But I couldn't let you die either. I wouldn't have been able to go on without you. Even then before I got to touch your soul. It's always been you. It was just natural. Just like it was natural that you told Maria then Alex about me. Telling them and bringing them into our circle completed it. Completed Michael and Isabel. Even Kyle and Tess coming together... It always been about you. The glue to our circle. Lending out your strength. Your kindness. Your love. You have always been what kept us together and moving forward. Naturally. As one unit. All together."

Liz looking down at our hands. Following her line of sight.

"I know this all seems like a lot. That saying it just been a little rough is the understatement. That you need time. I know that you're scared. I get that. I do. There no pressure here Liz. None. I just wanted to let you know that I going to be here in any form that you need as long as you need me to be."

Looking up to see her eyes on me once more.

"And if that means sitting on this rock. Sleeping under a tree or in a barn the rest of our lives, that's fine by me." Squeezing her hand. Swallowing. "If that means you need me to go away for a while......." Whispering. "I will do that to."

Feeling the ache burn through me with just the mere words.

Seeing the tears fill her eyes.

"I mean it Liz. What every you need. Anything." Whispering.

Even if it kills me.

Tears slipping down her cheek. Shaking her head no.

"It's OK Liz. I promise."

Squeezing my hand. "No Max." Shaking her head. "Just stop please. Please just stop."

I went to far again.

Standing up to go.

How can I be so stupid!

"No Max." Liz pulling on my arm. Not releasing my hand.

Looking down at her face.

"Um. I know I should.... I know it would be safer for you. All of you..." Biting her bottom lip.

"Liz."

How am I ever going to make you see that your not the threat?

Shaking her head no.

"I know it's being selfish on my part. But I can't let you go." Shaking her head no. "Not yet. Not yet."

Feeling my heart swell.

Kneeling. "You never have to...."

"I'm putting you all in danger. You have to realize that. Understand...."

"Liz." Taking her face into my hands. "Me being me is what puts me in danger. Me. Who and what I am. If you weren't here with me right now they would still want me. They will always want me. You. You just make it all worth it."

"I.... I couldn't bear if anything ever happened to you. Any of you." Liz whispering.

"We're safer together Liz. We always have been. It's when were apart that we are weaker and get hurt. Haven't you figured that out by now?"
Dig my grave,
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
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Strawbehrry Shortcake
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FINDING HOME Ch 54 4/30

Post by Strawbehrry Shortcake »

CHAPTER 54




"I can see why you would feel that way." Giving me a sad smile. "Why you think that way. Together.... It was only when we lost each other that..." Tilting her head slightly. "Or did it start when we finally found each other?" A note of sadness filling her voice as she looked at me questionably.

"Liz..." Ache in my heart doubling.

I know this is all my fault. That I ruined your life.....

"I used to wonder that a lot. Thinking about it. While I was laying there. Would you have been safe if you never saved me? No one would have came looking for you. You would have been free to live your life. To fade happily into the back ground. Never to come out from behind that tree. I would have died that day like I was meant too. My family would have grieved and moved on to live their lives. Alex and Maria would have been Ok too. I dreamed sometimes that they would some how find their ways into your lives. To be with Michael and Isabel. Happy. That maybe...." taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "That Tess would find you and all your questions would have been answered." Her voice cracking slightly. "Safely. Most of all you would have been safe. Happy. You, Iz and Michael. Even Tess.... You could have been a doctor. A scientist. Anything you ever wanted to be. Go anywhere you wanted to go. If only..."

Of course you would just be thinking of me and the others. Never of yourself and what you lost. What you gave up!

"Liz I told you once and I will tell you a million times more. My life didn't start until that day."

"You had a life Max. You, Isabel and Michael. All of you had a life. A happy safe life with a family that loved and adored all of you. A future that didn't entail you all hiding out in the mountains for the rest of your life."

"Liz no." Squeezing her hand.

Cutting me off. "You just never chose to see it that way. You have a way of not seeing things that are right in front of you."

Me? What about you?

"Liz."

"You know you say my name a lot." Giving me a small smile once more. "I used to loved the way it would roll off your tongue. Like all your love was in my name. Warming me in the inside. Making my heart race. I was such a little girl with childhood fairytale dreams and fantasy."

We all had fairytale dreams.

Turning to face her more. Tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"A hair thing." Smiling at me sadly. "I remember the first time you ever did that."

"You just got done saving my life.... For the first time." Smiling.

"I really thought you were going to kiss me. How my heart ached when you didn't."

"Liz..." Feeling my throat close slightly. Leaning towards her lips.

"If I just would have walked away and left you alone like you asked then. I wonder about that too." Liz speaking. Breaking the moment.

"But you just had to keep on saving me." Squeezing her hand once more. "And showing me what it was like to live. To love. Have meaning. Liz, you might think you ruined my life...."

"I.." Interrupting me.

"Sh...." Placing a finger over her lips. "I'm not finished. I love you Liz Parker. From the very moment I first laid eyes on you. I became alive. My world had meaning. Happiness just knowing you were in it. You gave me a reason to wake up everyday. All before you even spoke my name. Before you even realized that I existed."

"Max."

"Sh.... still not finished. I know we went through hell to get here. Here right now Liz. That in some ways it still feels that way but we have something we never had before."

Looking at me questionably.

"Time Liz. We have time."

"Time?"

"Yes time. We finally have time to breath. To become who we want to be."

"Time." Nodding her head. "Time?" Softer this time.

I could almost see her turning the word and it's meaning over in her head.

"Time to be together if that is what you want." Whispering.

Eyes unreadable staring at me a moment before looking away. Back out at the water.

I went to far again.

Damn it!

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push. I..."

"You say that a lot too." Interrupting me. "Sorry. Always sorry." Shaking her head. "My dear sweet Max. Who is forever sorry. Forever sorry for things that were never his fault or in his control. I love you Max. I always have and with my dying breath I always will. That will never change. You and me. Max and Liz. Liz and Max. You once said we were written in the stars. Something I so wanted to believe. I am not me without you. Your a part of me. Your inside of me. You're what makes me whole." Placing a hand over her heart.

Feeling my heart about to burst just before the small smile slip off her face.

"Liz?"

Hearing tree branches start to crack. Her hands start to heat up as she began to shook.

Panic filling her eyes. "Max." gripping onto my arms.

Energy charging the air.

Crap.

"Liz?" Putting a slight shield between her hands before my skin started to burn.

"Max. Why can't I feel you? I have always felt you. From the moment we connected I have felt you."

Connection.

"It's OK Liz. It's going to be OK." whispering softly.

"NO NO NO NO NO." Shaking her head as fresh tears filled them. "No."

Branches over head cracking more loudly as a few start hitting the ground around us.

"MAX!" Michael yelling as I see him and the others start running towards us.

"Liz really. It's OK. I'm still here. Right here." Squeezing her hand. "See right here."

"I wanted Michael to fix it. But not like this. Never like this." Shaking her head as fresh tears fell over her cheeks.

Wind start to pick up.

Is Liz doing all this?

"Holy crap!" Tess yells.

"Liz baby look at me." Taking her hand and placing it over my heart. "It's OK. It really is OK."

"No." Shaking her head once more. Gripping onto my shirt. "Give it back Max. Give it back to me. It was mine. It was mine. Give it back please."

"Liz. Liz. Shhhh." Pulling her close to me.

"What's going on?" Michael, Maria, Is, Alex, Kyle and Tess coming closer.

More branches falling.

"What happened Max?" Michael looking like he was ready to pull Liz from me but instead pulling Maria away from a near by tree.

"Please Max. Please." Liz sobbing more. "I can't live like this. I can't. Please."

The rock beneath us starting to shake.

"MAX!" Michael.

Sending up my shield right before the rock exploded.

"The connection." Tess stating the facts. "She is feeling the lost of the connection."

"You said it wouldn't hurt her." Maria rounding on Tess.

"It... shouldn't." Tess shaking her head. "She should just be feeling only herself now."

"Does that look like its not hurting her!" Maria fuming.

"Back off Maria. You know Tess was just trying to help. What did we honestly think?" Kyle

"Help? Does this look at help?" Maria

"Please Max. Please." Liz's grip tightening.

"What did you think would happen? That she would just be alright? Her feelings alone would be enough to drive her mad." Kyle whispering.

"ENOUGH!" Michael yelling. "This isn't helping."

"Please Max. Please. I can't live without it. It's the only thing that saved me. Please."

"Liz." Pushing the hair off her face. Kiss her forehead. Sending my energy to her to calm her energy without taking over. "Liz baby. Listen to me. Take a breath. Just listen. Just breath and listen." Pulling her tighter to me. Whispering in her ear. "Think about what we just did this evening. It's the first time you were able to talk to me. To touch me. To feel just what you are feeling. To be able to think clearly. It's Ok. It's really Ok. You need this right now. Your strong. Your you. You can stand on your own."

"No. No." Liz weak whisper. "I need it Max. I need you."

"I'm right here baby." Pulling away so I could see her face. Kissing her forehead. "You have always done it on your own. It has always been you."

"I can't do this on my own." Tears running down her cheeks.

"You have been doing it all night."

"I need it. It's mine."

"Always. Always baby. And when your ready. We will reconnected...."

Liz pulling my head down and crushed her lips to mine.
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Re: FINDING HOME (M/L mature) ch 55A 5/27

Post by Strawbehrry Shortcake »

CHAPTER 55A


LIZ'S POV

Feeling the emptiness go through me. In me.

Finally recognizing the feeling and changed that has happened ever since I woke from seeing Alec.

It wasn't the letting go of Alec. My small security blanket. That piece that held my in-between lives together.

It wasn't listening to Alec and letting Max in.

It was this...

The first time in my life I truly felt alone.

It was only me. Me alone. Inside.

Lost.

No anchor to this world or life in any shape or form.

All that time when I laid on that floor. When they were torturing me. Killing my parents. Threatening the people that I loved and that I swore to protect. Taking piece by piece...Killing me little by little...Till there was nothing left. Till the old me and the old Liz was gone and buried. When I first woke up lost after Alec killed me and didn't even know or realized what I was holding on to. Searching for. It was still there. Still in me.

Always there...That small piece...That small connection.

Max.

It has always been Max. That piece inside of me that I could turn to. Was able to hold on to when all else was dark and lost. That one piece. That one spark that they could never ever take away. Touch.

My spark.

My fire.

My unattainable life.

My Max.

The only thing that kept me somewhat sane.

Feeling Max take control over my ever growing erratic power.

When they took my innocence and destroyed me. Even with the hurricane of emotions I felt that threaten to drown me, it seemed at every waking moment.

Max.

Our connection was there.

No. No.

I would not.

My parents.

My life.

Me.

All gone.

But not Max. Not that one part.

Not the only good and pure thing I still had.

Not the very essence of what Alec told me to hold on to...Max. My spark.

Always Max.

The one thing I would not sacrifice or give up. Could not give up. Even Max himself if I had to, to protect him.

But not this. This was to much.

"NO!"

Feeling the ground shake around me.

It was mine. Nothing else in this world was, but this. This one small piece.

The only thing left of the old me. Of my old life that had survived.

The only thing.

The only thing!

He couldn't take it away.

NO!

"NO!"

Reaching up to his face. Feeling the spark ignited

Not us...

Not that one small insignificant piece that was all mine. Untouched. Untainted. Pure. Undeserved.

But mine.

My life. This life. What ever it was now. The old. The new. The lost. Everything.

Pulling his will lips down to mine. Crushing him to to me.

Feeling both our shock of the moment past between us of my unconscious choice.

His lips unmoving.

"Please," I whispered my need as I grabbed a fist full of his hair. Kissing him harder once more. "Please."

His lips finally moving with mine as his wave of love washing away the emptiness and fear as I once more began to fly through the stars like I did the very first time we ever kissed.

Max.

Feeling the connection open once more between us.

Freeing me...And him.
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Re: FINDING HOME (M/L mature) ch 55 A 5/27

Post by Twilighteyes »

Yeah! I can post again. Special special thanks to strawbehrry shortcake! You rock! I wouldn't have gotten this far withought you! You are truely the best! Thank you so much for posting when I could not! THANK YOU!!!!!

Also thank you for everyone that is still reading this story and have not given up on me!!!! Thank you ever so much for the feedback!!!!!!!!!!







CHAPTER 55B

MAX POV

"Please." Desperation soaking her voice as Liz pleaded to me to let her in.

No. It will only hurt her.

Holding still as possible as she kissed me.

"Please." Pleading once more. Pain in her teary eyes tearing me apart.

Hell.

Feeling my walls crumble even before I started kissing her back. Pulling her impossibly closer to me. Hand through her hair. Tasting the sweetness of her lips.

Heaven.

Imagines and feelings of her life starting to pass through my head.

Cup cake dress, embarrassed. First time Liz saw me get off the bus my first day of school, sensing my loneliness as our eyes locked for brief moment. For the very first time. Confusion when Liz woke up after Alec saving her. Feeling that she was missing something important. Our first kiss. Feeling Liz pass out as an electrical current passes through her. Liz lying bleeding on the the Crashdown floor. Liz teaching me how to play pool. Her fear that she might hurt one of us with her out of control powers. Liz being strapped down to a table. Her watching me crying on her bed not knowing she was there. Driving together in the desert. Her pain of seeing me kiss Tess from the dinner. Liz sitting on her balcony writing in her diary. Feeling the surgical knife cutting into her chest. Me thanking her for saving my life on the hill after watching the fake spaceship crash and her wishing that I would just kiss her. Liz seeing me in the hallways of school wishing she could be with me. Liz's constant fear of putting us in danger. Coldness laying on the concrete floor. Liz feeling like she no longer had a place in my life with Tess around. Watching everyone dance and laugh at the crashdown after prom but me. The fear of me being hurt and captured. The rush of love she felt when she kissed me before jumping off the bridge. Fully realizing at that moment, she would live and die to protect me. Constant pounding and pain in Liz's head since Tess tried to make her forget everything. The fear of waking up alone in the a white room. The relief and happiness knowing that I was safe even though she was in pain. The pain of knowing her parents were dead and feeling guilty of knowing the fact that me and her friends were still safe. Happiness knowing her friends still were going on with their lives. Wishing Alec had just left her dead. Pain, fear, loneness becoming the dominate emotions as the flashes turned more violent. The taste of salt from her tears. Finally bringing me back to my sanity.

I can't be doing this.....

NO! Hear Liz scream in my head. PlEASE!

Liz gripping me tighter. Kissing me harder. Curving her body around mine.

Liz......

"Um.... We shouldn't be watching this." Kyle muttering somewhere in the distance.

PLEASE! I'll do anything that you want.

Wait... What?

No, Liz. No. Not like this.....

"Max" Michael warning voice.

Using all my strength to pull my lips from hers. Closing the connection once more. My own body and mind screaming in protest. Resting my forehead on hers. Eyes still closed. "Wait." Taking a deep needed breath to clear my head.

"Please. Please." Liz pulling my hair tighter. Trying to pull my lips once more to hers.

Hearing and feeling more branches fall around us. Feeling the wind blow harder as thunder crashing.

"Have you ever felt so much power?" Tess's worried tone. "Michael we really need to start on her control."

Tightening my shield around Liz once more.

"Everyone should back up some more." Alex's warning.

"Now is not the priority Tess." Michael growling.

"We really need to make it one soon." Tess muttering.

"Shut up." Maria

Taking a deep breath. "Liz baby. Liz. It's going to be alright."

"I ...... Please... Please Max." Coming out as a broken sob.

Taking a deep breath. Opening my eyes at Liz tormented tear streaked face. The green lightening under her skin once more from her out of control powers.

Feeling my resolve weakening slightly.

If I could just take away all your pain.....

"Max...." Michael's low warning reminding me that we still weren't alone. That Liz still wasn't really ready for all of this.

Liz telling me that she would do anything I wanted. Echoing once more in my head.

NO!

Resolving me once more.

"Please." Liz feet giving out.

Automatically supporting her. Automatically taking more control of her energy and redirecting it on my shield. Feeling Liz's body shuttering against mine as her powers started weakening.

Feeling the wind and the shuddering ground start to calm once more.

"That's it Max." Michael encouraging.

"Liz. Liz baby just listen to me. Just listen to me for one second." Pulling her face up to look at me. "It's yours. I'm always and only will be yours. Till my last and dying breath."

Liz trying to kiss me once more.

Holding her still. Willing command over my own all too willing demanding body.

"Liz just think. Just think for one moment. Focus. What did you feel when you first woke up in the barn?"

Liz staring into my eyes. "I........ I...... I don't know."

"Just think about it." Brushing the tears off her cheek. "When you first woke up. What did you feel?"

Seeing a ray of emotions crossing through her eyes. Fear, uncertainty, realization, fear once more. Shifting her eyes away from mine. Letting go of my shirt to rub her head.

That constant headache. I'm going to have to convince her to let me fix it somehow.

"It's the first time since before all this happen that you felt only yourself." Stating the words she knew to be true. Whispering the words. "You were finally able to think clearly just for yourself. Without me influencing you."

"I.... I can't live without it. I can't be like this." Liz gripping tightly to my shirt and looking at me once more. "There's a hole..... A missing part.... I can't." Shaking her head no. "I've... I lost everything else already. Don't ask me to live like this too. I can't live this way....... Please."

"Liz.... You haven't lost us. You have never lost me. Do you realize since you came back to me this is the first time that we have talked? That you have willing touched me?" Wrapping a hand around hers. Keeping the other still securely around her waist. "That you have been.... That it was almost like it was before....."

Looking away from me. Whispering. "That person is dead. I told you. I told Michael, I..... I killed her a long time ago. There is nothing left of her.... of her..... of that me."

Turning her face back towards me. "That person that I spent the evening with. Is you."

"No......" Shaking her head. Feeling her pull away from me. Dropping my arms. Liz taking a step back. Shaking her head as the tears leaked from her eyes. "I can't be.... There nothing left."

Straightening my unnecessary shield at this point around a non glowing powered down Liz.

Can never be to safe.

"I felt it." Taking a step forward. "You know it. I know you felt it too."

"It's past. What was." Liz muttering.

"What can still be. We can still have a life together. We can be together."

"No." Shaking her head once more. "Can't you see? Can't you feel it? I can never.... How can you? Knowing everything that you know? I see it in your eyes every time you look at me. I feel it in your uncertain hesitating touch. I felt it though our connection. " Scanning everyone around us with her eyes quickly before settling on me once more. "Everyone treating me like glass. Ready for me to shatter or explode any minute. How am I suppose to go on? How am I suppose to live? With you..... " Her voice shaking once more. "You all know what they did to me." Even softer. Looking down at the ground. "You all I know what I did." Taking in a shaking breath. "You all know that I was weak and that I gave up...."

Taking a step towards her. Pulling her face up to meet mine again once more. "Weak Liz Parker? Is never a word or thought we would ever describe you by." Letting my eyes look around at all the falling tree limbs. The crack rock we were just sitting on. Our friend standing about twenty-five feet away.

"Stop Max." Liz shaking her head. "You know what I meant."

"I told you that you have never seen yourself clearly."

"How I see myself doesn't change the facts. Doesn't change the way you all look at me now. How you will always be looking at me."

"With admiration, Unbridle amazement."

"With fear and caution. Like some poor damaged animal. Pity and guilt over something that none of you had a hand in or control of. You all treat me like I'm going to break any moment. Like if you say the wrong thing will send me over the edge again." Looking around at all of us once more. "Even if it was safe for all of you for me to stay with you...."

"We are stronger together." Cutting her off. Almost growling the words.

As if I would ever leave you alone again.

"We are never leaving you again." Maria "Your stuck with me forever chicka that was the deal."

"I swear to you Liz that I would keep you safe." Michael speaking up. "We are safe here. Now. I don't think that will change any time soon."

"You are never going to be safe with me. Even if they weren't looking for me. Look what I did." Looking guilty at the damage around us. "I could have hurt anyone of you and not even realize what I did. Look at all that I have done before."

"We are never going to be safe because who we are. Who I am Liz. Who Michael, Tess and Iz are. Because of where we came from. It was us." Shaking my head no. "No, It was me. All me. It was because of me and what I did that has put you. Has put all of us in danger. Not you. It has never been you."

"Because you saved me." Liz whispering

"NO, because you saved me. Am I ever going to get that through your head?" Taking her face into my hands.

"Max....." Liz not pulling away. Feeling my heat race.

"Liz Parker, we, I breathe today because of you. Don't you understand that? Will you ever see that? You saved us all. You. You alone." Kissing her forehead. "We are all safe today because of you. Happy. Happy because we are all together. Happy because we are here and can live are lives."

Liz opening her mouth to speak.

Placing a finger on them. "Not finished yet." Smiling. "There is no place on earth we would rather be. As long as we are together that is all that matters. And as far as this goes." Quickly looking around at the damage Liz unknownly caused.

"Is nothing compared to what I did when I first start developing powers." Michael interupting.

"You should have seen some of the damage that Michael did." Isabel adding laughing slightly.

"It's going to be alright." Reasuring her once more.

"We will just have to work on it. We all had to learn control." Tess adding.

"Hell Liz. With the brain that you have I bet you will learn twice as fast as any of this cechs did." Kyle laughing.

Liz looking around at everyone once more.

I can almost see the wheels turning in her head.

"It's all going to work out." Smiling at her.

"I don't..."

"Shhh...." Placing a finger on her lips once more. "Just think about it. Thats all I'm asking." Taking her hands into mine. "Think it though for yourself. You can do this Liz. You always have. Just think.... You have time. We... We have time."

Liz sighing. Closing her eyes. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

Almost feel everyone holding their breath.

Liz opening her eyes once more. After a few minutes. "I need to talk to Tess...." Looking back at where Tess was standing.

Tess?

Liz looking back to me. "Alone."
Dig my grave,
Dig it deep.
Marble stone,
From head to feet.
And on that stone,
Place a dove.
To show the world,
I died for love.
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Re: FINDING HOME (M/L mature) ch 56 10/14/12

Post by Strawbehrry Shortcake »

CHAPTER 56

LIZ'S POV


"Alone." Looking at Max.


"Liz..." Seeing the uncertainty in his eyes.


"Maybe that's not a good idea." Turning to look at Kyle as he wrapped his arms protectively around an ever paling looking Tess.


"KYLE!" Maria yells. Immediately coming to my defense. "HOW CAN YOU EVEN SAY THAT!?"


I'm surprise she didn't stomp her foot.


Almost feel a smile slide onto my face.


Kyle looking guilty at me. "It's just the last time it didn't go so well..." Kyle's voice trailed off.


"Last time the Gerbil tried to fry Liz's brain." Maria wrapping her arms around herself.


Is that what Tess was trying to do?


Image of Tess and Max kissing in the rain flash across my mine. Stabbing my heart.


"MARIA!" Kyle yelling this time.


"This isn't helping!" Alex integrating.


"You bitch I was just trying to help," Tess whispering. Not coming out as fierce as she normally would.


Is she really that afraid of me?


Should she be?


Well yeah, I did almost kill her last time?


"Maria back off," Kyle warned.


...Didn't I?


Trying to recall all that has taken place since I returned.


"Why should I?" Maria starting walking toward Kyle and Tess.


Automatically raising my hand to the ever increasing pounding in my head as far away imagines of Tess screaming fill my head. Closing my eyes tight.


Is it safe? Am I safe?


"Liz?" Feeling Max's warmth seeping through me easing the pound somewhat. Pushing away the image.


"Would everyone just SHUT UP!" Michael taking control. Everyone silencing immediately.


Opening my eyes once more.


Man, Everyone is used to Michael being in charged. Clearly seeing he was not happy at all about the current situation.


All the more reason to do this.


Michael looking at me.


Could almost sense him trying to read my mood or intention.


Will they forever treat me like glass?


"Liz. Maybe..." Max starting once more.


Max defiantly always would.


"Tess are you afraid of Liz?" Michael cut Max off, not taking his eyes off of me.


Shifting my eyes to Tess.


Tess studying me a moment. "It's ok." Whispering to Kyle before taking a step out of his arms. "No." Clearing her throat. Straighten her shoulders before starting again. "No, it's alright. If Liz wants to talk..."


Do I?


Nodding my head yes.


I need to do this.


"So lets give them a little space," Michael amending.


"Liz." Max trying once more.


Looking once more at him. "You don't trust me." Coming out more of a statement then a question.


Should I be trusted?


"No." Max immediately denied my words.


Could I hurt her?


The image of Tess and Max kissing in the rain goes through my head once more.


She has defiantly hurt me before.


"Are you scared for Tess then?" Whispering.


Do you still love her?


"NO!" Max squeaking out. "I told you there is nothing..."


Cutting him off. "Then me then?"


"Yes, I mean No. I mean..."


"He means he will give you the space that you need." Michael grabbing Max's shoulder.


"It really will be ok. I won't do anything stupid this time." Tess trying to reassure Max and Kyle. Who were both still looking at me weary.


"Of course she won't. She won't be walking right again if she does."


"Not helping Maria." Alex placing his arms around a protesting Maria.


Max squeezing my hands pulling my attention to him once more. "You're sure?"


It will be the only way that we can, I can move on.


"Yes."


Max studying me a moment. "Ok." Surrendering. "I will be in shouting distance if you need me."


Closer then that if Michael allows it.


Squeezing my hands once more. Seeing the slight debate go through his eyes before he quickly leans in and kisses my forehead before whispering in my ear. "Always yours."


A rush of warmth and love washes through me right before he let go of my hands.


How am I suppose to walk away from that?


How would that ever be fair?


"Ok then, we will just be at the house." Alex walking backward pulling a reluctant Maria with him.


If everything goes right maybe I don't...


Maybe.


"Yell if she tries anything chicka." Maria gives me an evil grin. "Then again, just fry her ass."


"Once again, not helping Maria." Michael grabbing her arm and leading her away too.


"It really will be ok." Tess kissing Kyle on the cheek as he glares at Maria's retreating form. Turning his attention back to Tess. "I love you." Kissing her soundly on the lips.


When did this all happen?


Tess was all about Max.


Flashes of Tess and Kyle getting closer over the the years show briefly through my head. First as friends becoming something more.


I was there and saw it all... But I wasn't also...


Feeling the pounding in my head increase slightly once more.


How though? It's not possible. I couldn't know all this. I couldn't have seen all that.


Wanting so much to deny what I already knew to be true.


Max's power willing me to be with him or my desire of wanting to be with them?


Whose?


Mine or his?


Mine...


Somehow knowing in my heart it was true.


It doesn't seem real? Me? Of all people have powers? It's not suppose to be like this.... If it was then why didn't I just save myself? Why?


This isn't fair! This was not how my life was suppose to be!


I was suppose to be valedictorian. I was suppose to go to Harvard. I was suppose to grow up, be happy. My parents alive! Maria was suppose to be a rock star happy with Michael. Alex becoming a computer genius slash rock star with Isabel. Maybe even in Maria's band. Isabel a model or maybe a mom? Michael an artist. Tess marrying Kyle? And Max...


"Liz?" Tess whispering next to me.


Max was suppose to be with me and we all we suppose to be safe and happy.


Safe...


That's what I really wanted for all of them.


Safe and happy.


Is that too much to ask?


I did that. I did my part. I kept them safe.


Right?


I kept silent. I kept their secret. I made sure that they were safe. Always safe.


I never gave them a reason to look at the others. I complied and did what they wanted so they wouldn't use them as a threat.


I did that. I did...


I did my part right? I did...


So they could have a life. Live their lives.


"Liz?" Tess whispering softly next to me once more.


Safe.


We are safe here right now. Right? That's what they keep saying. That is what Alec said and promised. Alec who has always told me the truth no matter what. And Michael. Michael wouldn't allow us to stay if it wasn't. If I wasn't... If I was putting them in danger...


Right?


Right!


"Liz?" Her voice shaking slightly.


That was always Michael priority. Keeping his family safe. But Max... Max didn't cope well without me. Making him have to step up. Me being Maria and Alex's best friend. Who have both become part of their family and their group. Michael loves Maria with all his heart. I have felt that. Seen that. I do know this. Would he allow her to be in danger? Would Michael put everyone in danger just for Max's sanity? The protectiveness, guilt and brotherly love I felt from him these past weeks....... Have I really became part of his stone wall family... Would he put everyone at risk because of me?


For me?


NO! HE CAN'T!


Grabbing onto the girl next to me. The girl that owed me nothing.


"Is it really safe here? Is it really safe here with me here with you?" My voice shaking.


Please say yes. Please.


"Liz..." Tess holding back onto my arms. "Calm down. It's alright."


Please say it is. I don't think I can give them up yet...


I can't. Lord forgive me. I just can't yet... Not after everything. Not after what they did.


Feeling my throat start to tighten up.


"Liz. I promise you that it is. This is the safest I have felt in my whole entire life." Tess trying to reasure me.


Studying the girl in front of me looking for any deceit she might hold.


"Breathe Liz. It's ok It really is. No one. Nobody knows that we are here. We were very careful. Just take a breath please."


Swallowing and forcing a breath in. "They are still looking for me. They might..." Coming out a cried whispered.


"Hey, NO! Alec took care of that too. Remember? Everyone that matters thinks that you are dead. You're safe here Liz. You really are."


It's not me that I am worried about. Shifting my eyes away from Tess back toward where our friends just slipped away too.


As if she could read my mind. Shaking me a little. Looking at her once more.


"LIZ, WE ARE SAFE HERE SAFER THEN WE HAVE EVER BEEN IN OUR LIVES." Voice full of determination. "Here we don't exist. None of us do. Alec made sure of that. This place is so secluded and so well protected. If I didn't know better I would think he was raised by Nesado." Tess chuckling nervously. "I swear to you that WE are all safe here That it will be alright."


Still searching her eyes for any signs of doubt or deceit.


"And if anyone doesn't want to stay here?"


"Liz you can't leave. It would kill Max."


Shaking my head. "Not just me? what about everyone else? Everyone's plans for the future?"


"Liz, all we have wanted these past two years is to get you back and all of us safe and together. That is all. And you have done that for us."


"Even you?"


Squeezing my arms. "Yes Liz. Even me. I know." Shaking her head. "I know it must seem really confusing for you. I mean the last time before... Well I was after Max, well thought Max belong with me. The whole destiny crap that Nesado has feed me since day one. But now I know. I love Kyle Liz." Tess's eyes lightening up. "He is everything to me. Just like Max is about you."


"But everyone's future? Plans?"


"As I said before. Being safely together is the most important thing."


Does everyone feel like that?


Not that it really matters right now.


No one is leaving right now.


Not with me so broken. Looking at me like I will break or fall apart at any moment. With hurt, guilt and pity constantly written on their faces and in their eyes.


Feeling my throat threaten to close once more.


I can't keep going on like this.


I can't live like this. I won't make it...


"Liz?" Tess was looking at me cautiously once more.


It why she has to do this...


"Tess, I need you to do something for me."
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Re: FINDING HOME (AU,M/L,MATURE) ch 56 10/12 [WIP]

Post by Strawbehrry Shortcake »

CHAPTER 57

Michael's POV


"What ever you need me to do Liz. Just calm down and take a breath please." Tess searched Liz's face with fear in her eyes.

"Wait." Hissing the words, I held onto Max's shoulder.

Liz let go of Tess's arms and took a small step back.

The green electricity spidering through her still clear.

Calm down Liz.

Another branch in the distance cracked.

"Michael." Max hissed.

Must feed more energy into him to keep the shield intact.

"Not just me but everyone else too. I need for you to do them too. So they can just stop looking at me like that all the time. How am I suppose to heal with them looking at me all the time? I can't. I know I have PTSD and most likely have over hypersensitivity. I know this. I do. Logically. It's to be expected. I mean after everything that's the very least right? Right. And I know that this isn't the right way to heal. But how can I do that? After that? How? I can't. I just can't. It's not fair. Not after everything. Right? I shouldn't be expected to. Right." Liz nodded her head yes. "But can you?"

What is she talking about?

"Can I what, Liz?" Tess questioned.

"And would they even let you? I mean messing with someone's head. That is big. If I was them, would I? Could I? I mean..."

"You want me to mess with their heads?" The confusion written all over Tess's face mirrored what was going on in me.

Liz wants us all to forget...

"That is really big, right. But just a small part... Not all, just a part so they can stop looking at me like that." Liz started to pace back and forth.

"Like what, Liz? Your not making much sense..."

"Is that too much to ask for? Is it? So I can just breath. Be able to just walk around. Be somewhat normal. After everything, is that too much to ask for?"

"Liz?"

"It's that or leave right?"

I shook my head no at Liz.

Then pushed down on Max's shoulder once more, feeling his sharp intake of breath next to me.

Easy boy. We're suppose to just be here to make sure Liz doesn't melt or blow something up.

Mainly Tess...

"But I can't leave yet. I just can't. I can't give him up yet. Is that so bad of me?" Liz whispered sadly.

See Max, she loves you still. You still have that going for you.

"Liz, STOP!" Tess yelled.

Liz stopped midstep.

Easy Tess.

"You're not making much sense..." Tess still looked confused and scared. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to erase what happened to me. Not just to me, but everyone else too. Can you do that?"

She has got to be kidding! How would we keep her safe if we forget?

Liz walked back to Tess. "Not all of it. I understand that we have to remember I was taken and that they killed..." She paused to take a breath. "My parents. So we still would understand the danger that is out there."

That's my girl.

"They have to feel the need to stay here for a while. I just need to forget the last..part. What they...What they did to me." Liz looked down at her hands. "And what I did also." Absently, she rubbed her wrist.

"Liz, what you did..."

My chest tightened at her words.

Liz... CRAP!

Liz looked up at Tess once more. "Don't." Liz shook her head. "I just need you to take that away. Can you do that? We can say we came here to be safe but to also work on my control of these...powers." She held her green lit spidering hands out.

"Liz, it didn't go so well the last time."

We can give her this. It's the very least we can do.

"The last time I was scared and didn't understand what you were doing."

"Yes, but you are really powerful." Tess tilted her head. "They messed with your head so much. You fought hard against them and won. I'm not sure your instincts to protect yourself won't just kick in again."

Enough.

"Even with our help?" I stepped forward out of the shadows, Max followed my suit.

Hate seeing the hurt in Liz's eyes.

I know. I'm an ass for letting Max talk me into keeping close just in case you lost control of your powers.

It wouldn't go good for your guilt if you fried Tess.

Not that I haven't wanted to on occasions.

"Sorry, I could feel your emotions..."

Man that was a weak-assed excuse.

Not really building this whole trust thing along, huh?

"But if Max and I are linked to Liz while you do it. We can help Liz control her emotions and powers. Max has showed that he can shield Liz and keep her powers in control."

"He what?" Liz questioned, looking at Max.

"I've never done anything close to that before." Tess ran a hand through her blonde hair.

"I can understand why you would want to forget, Liz. But why everyone else too?" Max whispered.

Liz shifted from one foot to the other as she looked away.

"Liz?" I took a step toward her.

Liz looked at Tess once more. "Can you Tess?" Ignoring me and Max's questions.

"The others, yes. I'm sure I can if they let me, but you..." Tess shook her head no.

"Look, I know you don't owe me anything. I'm just asking you to try. That's all. If it doesn't work, then fine."

"You know I can't make myself forget." Tess was grasping for a way out.

Liz nodded her head. "I know but you don't look at me like the others do."

"Liz I..." Tess explained.

Liz held up her hand. "No." She shook her head. "That is good."

"Liz, we aren't pitying you."

Is that what you really think?

"You're not?" She looked back at me. "Sure, you're not as bad as Max, Maria, Kyle and Alex but you still look at me with concern. You still have that guilt in your eyes. You're still worried that I might...go off the deep end at any moment."

No...

But that is why I'm standing here with Max right now isn't it?

Yes.

"I'm sorry..."

When the girl is right, she is right.

"Don't be. I get it. Don't you think I feel the same way? Saying I'm freaking out and scared to death is an understatement. And the very thought that it could have easily been one of you..." Liz forcibily swallowed. "I would be acting like all of you are. I don't blame any of you. But at the same time...I just can't do this anymore." She looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Liz..."

"I don't want to know what I know, Michael. I just can't... Not anymore. I don't want you guys to know... I'm sorry. I'm not strong enough."

"I don't think I could have made it... I would have died. I don't think I could have lasted like you did." I looked up to see tears running down Tess's face. "I don't think I could have lasted... I know I would have told them everything I knew. I would have turned the rest of you in."

"You would have done exactly what I..." Liz interrupted Tess.

Will she ever give herself credit?

"No." Tess interrupted Liz. "No Liz. That is where you are wrong. I've read your report."

"Report?" Liz's face scrunched up in confusion.

Crap. She doesn't know about the damn file Alec left us, Tess.

And she doesn't need to.

"I saw the way you looked when Alec brought you home. Felt what you felt when I connected to you." Tears streamed down Tess's face. "What you did. What you did to keep us safe... I could never..."

"For Max and Kyle you would have," Liz whispered.

"I saw and felt it, Liz."

Liz whispered, "You do what you have to do to keep the ones you love safe."

And that means you, Liz.

Liz took a couple steps back. "You do what's right." Her shoulders fell forward in defeat.

"I still don't think you fully understand what all they did to you. What you did." Tess shook her head.

Tears started to make their way down Liz's face. "To keep them safe." She nodded her head.

She retreated a little more. "I should just..." One more step back. "I should have known this wouldn't have..."

Wait.

"No, Liz." Max made his way to her and pulled her face up to look at him. "I will follow you. With my dying breath I will search for you forever."

"What?" Liz stared at him in disbelief.

"You can't leave me here alone. Remember, we are not safe because of who and what we are. Not because you're with us. We are safer together. Remember?"

"How did you..." Liz stammered.

"Because I know you. I might be a little slow sometimes, like why you wanted to talk to Tess. But I do know you. Just like I know you want to run so bad right now because you think it would keep us safe. But you're wrong. I don't care if I have to tell you every three minute until you get it through your head. I'll tell you forever if that is what it takes. But like I said before. I swear to you. Here, you are safe. WE are safe here. Alec made sure of that. WE are safer and will ALWAYS be safer together." Max leaned his forehead against Liz's. "Where you go, I go. I have no life without you. Remember?"

"Max..." Liz didn't move away from Max.

You are defiantly making progress with her, Max.

"If you want to try this. If it makes you feel better, then we will do it. Right Tess." Max didn't take his eyes off Liz. Stating in no uncertain terms Tess would do this for Liz if she wanted to or not.

Tess looked to me.

"What can it hurt?" I shrugged my shoulders.

If it will give Liz some peace.

"Me. Remember," Tess muttered.

Oh that.

What's the worst that can happen?
Locked