FINDING HOME (AU,M/L,MATURE) [WIP]

[L-J-L 76]

Great New Part! Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please come back and post more really really really soon? I can't wait to read what will happen next. I'm glad that Max and Micheal helped Liz. Alec wanting to put an Iv in her could wait til she wakes up. I'm glad that Michael cres about Liz and stood up to Alec. I'm really glad that Max is holding Liz. Will Michael get his prayer answered? What will Michael and the others do while Max and liz are sleep? Will Liz have dreams? What will her dreams be about? Will Max still be holding Liz when they wake up? What will happen when Max and Liz wake up? Will Liz remember what happened to her? will Max and Liz talk about it? Will Liz tell the others what happened to hr/ What will Michael and friends do hen they find out? Will Max and the other be able to help Liz? What will they do to help Liz? Will the parents find out about Liz? What will they do hen they find out about Liz? Will the parents come and see Liz? What will Liz do when she sees the parents. Will Liz be happy to see them? Will the parents be happy to see Liz? Will Max, Liz and the others leave Roswell? Where will Max, Liz and others go? Will Max, Liz nd others have to get jobs? What kind of jobs will they get? Will Max, Liz and others be safe? Will Max and Liz share a place? Will Max and liz keep dating? Will Max and Liz get married? What will happen to Eric when he leaves? Where will he go? Will he tell anyone where Max, Liz and others are? Will Eric protect Liz, Max and others? Will the parents know here Max, Liz and the others are? Will the prents tell anyone? Will the parents ever see Max, Liz and the others? Will Max, Liz and others ever see the parents gain? Will the parents call and check on them? Will Max, Liz and others call and check on the parents? Sorry for all the questions but I was just wondering. Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please come back and post more really really really soon? I can't wait to read what will happen when Max nd Liz wake up from their naps.

From:
L-J-L 76

[begonia9508]

Great part .... pleased that Max could finally help her!
Thanks

EVE

[tinie38]

Great part

[Michelle in LA]

Is there a chapter 20? 'Cause I just see 19 and the header says 20. I was appalled that I had missed an update, but now it appears I didn't, But now I'm sad because I thought I was getting two.

I'm so glad you have them standing up to Alec! I think any accoutrements of the medical profession would send her spiraling down into the nightmare again -- memories of being restrained and experimented on, pumped full of chemicals without any power to resist, etc. I think that would send her further into hiding, and make her inner healing more difficult. A set-back instead of a step forward.

They managed to bring her out of the catatonic state, without any drug or sedative. That was a good sign in itself, but especially good because symbolically, they've marched into the nightmare and 'rescued' her. She'll probably need that again and again, but it will be healing.

I'm so glad you're giving us these breaks, It's scarring enough just to read what she went through, without having to experience it. She's had physical healing, now the mental healing is beginning -- and like so many things, it feels worse before it gets better.

I'm also glad that Alec got to see that it's bad for Liz to keep seeing him. He belongs to that place, those experiences. He was telling himself, at first, that he had to stay with her, that she needed him, but I think he needed her -- she's his way of atonement for everything he's done, the evil he's been part of. But now he has to see that he'd always remind Liz of the nightmare, and for her to get well, he has to go.

l just marvel that they're all right where they are -- I can't believe that nobody's watching the alien hybrids, and that they don't know yet that Liz is alive. It's making me nervous, because the last thing she could stand is to be taken again.

Thanks for the chapter! You're right, we needed that.

.

[Timelord31]

nice chapter.. glad to see liz starting to come throw.

[Flamehair]

great update

[L-J-L 76]

Please please please please please please please please please please please please come back and post more really really really soon? I can't wait to read if Liz remembers everything.And to find out what are Max, Liz and the others going to do and where are they going to go?

From:
L-J-L 76

[Ms_BuffyAnneSummers]

OMG that was so great. Yay liz comming back, woo hooo to maria telling Alec off. cant wait to see what happens next please come back soon. BUMP BUMP BUMP

[Twilighteyes]

I know it has been a while. Sorry. Thank you everyone that took the time to leave feedback. For everyone that has not givin up on this story. I don't have a lot of time to give proper thank to everyone like I should. But I did want to leave the next part...... Thanks again!



CHAPTER 20

MAX'S POV

Feeling Liz's body tense and a soft whimper escape her lips for what seemed like the hundred time. Tightening my arms around her. Whispering "SHHH.. I'm here. Your safe." Kissing the top of her head. "Your safe."

After a moment I feeling Liz's body start to relax once more.

Nightmares or no nightmares this feels like heaven.

"She alright?"

Opening my eyes to see Michael standing next to the bed with with glasses and a picture of water.

Michael whispering. "I thought you both could use some water. Alec maybe a dick but he is right about the fact that Liz needs to eat and drink. We need to put meat back on her bones. How is she doing?" Michael shifting a little. "She's hard to read at the moment. Emotions across the board."

Liz has been all over the place. From terror to calm.

Nodding my head. "A lot of nightmares."

"That is to be expected."

I just wish she didn't.

Nodding. "So where is Alec now?"

Last time I saw him he was bound and determine to give Liz an IV.

"Just left reluctantly a little bit a ago."

He just left....

"What?" Pulling myself up a little. Being careful not to disturb Liz.

"He will be back. Actually, I'm not sure where he went." Michael holding up his hand. "He took Alex and Kyle with him. Its alright. I really don't think with all the agents running around town he would do anything stupid. He won't put Liz in anymore unnecessary danger."

No. I don't think he would.

"Where is everyone else?"

"Isabel is still at your parents. Tess went to check on her and Maria is with her mom."

Parents.

Groaning.

What am I going to tell them?

No matter what I say they are not going to let us all just up and leave easily.

Feeling Liz stiffen and whimper again.

"ShHHHHHHH....." Pulling her close once more.

After a moment, I could feel her relax once more.

"Has she gotten any real sleep?" Michael looking at Liz with concern.

Looking down at Liz. Brushing some hair off her forehead. "Yeah, at first."

We both slept peaceful at first.

Best sleep I have gotten in over two years.

At least until the nightmares started.

Maybe Isabel can dream walk me into one of them later.

"I talked to the parents."

Looking once more at Michael.

Michael lowering his voice a little more. "It's going to be alright. No one likes the idea of us leaving but everyone agrees that it might be best for Liz. At least at the moment. Amy freaked out and don't be surprise if she barges in here any minute. I told everyone not to come rushing over. Just in case we are being watched. All of us being here shouldn't draw to much attention since we are always here but if all the parents start showing up all at once too. It might draw attention we don't need."

Smiling.

Michael thinking a head.

"Better to be safe then sorry. The Sheriff is in the living room right now. I'm filling him on the latest developments."

"Thanks Michael. I don't know what I would do with out you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LIZ'S POV

Feeling the hot water hit my body and running down. Willing my body to relax.

Turning off the cold water completely leaving on only the hot on.

Wishing it could just burn away everything.

Waking up just a little while ago. To find Max gone and Michael sleeping beside the bed in a chair. The door crack making it easy to hear the voices softly rising and falling.

Trying to settle my racing heart from the dream I just had.

No nightmare.

Where was I?

Cold metal.
Beeping.
Hands
Pain.
Darkness.



Images and feelings wash over me.

NO. NO. NO.

Don't do this.

Looking around the room.

I'm home. I'm home.

I'm alright.

Looking at my hands.

No bandages.

Feeling my face.

I'm alright.

"We just want to see her." Voice from the living room pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Please. Just let her sleep a little longer. She has been through a lot." Max's voice.

"We know that. I just don't see the harm at just looking in on her." Voice a little hysterical.

Who?

Feeling my heart pound more.

I know that voice......

Right?

Trying to place it.

"You alright?"

Feeling my body flinch and tense more as I turn to look at Michael. Who was now wide awake staring at me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

Nodding my head.

Seeing the concern so clearly in his eyes.

I'm home.

Cold steel.
Pain.
Darkness.
Slice of the wrist.

Once more flashes through my head.

Looking at my hands once more.

Michael taking my hands into his. "It happened but your home safe now." Michael talking low as if reading my thoughts. Squeezing my hands before letting them go. "Here." Holding out a glass of water.

Looking at the glass back to him.

"Liz, you need to drink. Please."

Carefully taking the glass.

The cool liquid feeling good sliding down my throat.

"What do you mean you have no choice to leave." Female voice once more drifting into the room.

Looking at the door.

"It's alright. The Evens and Amy are here."

Parents.

'One good thing that happened was that the parents knew.' Maria

One good thing.

Knew what exactly?

"Liz?" Michael's voice pulling me out of my thoughts before I could make the connection.

Looking once more at Michael.

Watching him take the almost empty glass and fill it. Holding it out to me once more.

Shaking my head no.

"Hungry?"

Shaking my head no.

"Liz...."

I swear he sounds like Alec.

Alec.....

Closing my eyes.

'Your going to be alright Elizabeth.'
'No one is ever going to hurt you again.'
'What is the point of having no bed?'
'Elizabeth fight. Fight Damn it. Don't you give up on me.'
'What do you remember?'
'Elizabeth, you need to eat.'
'Elizabeth.'

"Liz...." Michael pulling me out of of my thoughts once more.

What?

I have to quit doing that.

Opening my eyes to see the concern on Michael's face.

"OK?"

Nodding once more.

"Max. Just let us see her." Voices floating in the room once more.

"It's not that I'm trying to keep her from you. I don't want her to get overwhelmed. It's just that she has been through a lot. I want her to rest as long as possible."

Pulling my legs up to my chest.

I don't want to see anyone.

No more disappointing.

Hurting.....

That look on their faces...

"It's alright, They are just missed you a lot." Michael explaining.

Looking once more at Michael.

More people. More that I should know. That I should feel for.

More hurt pained looks when they looked at me.

Pity....

Because of me.

"It's alright. It's going to be alright." Michael giving me a small smile. Squeezing my hands once more.

Water running down.

Is it alright?

What do they all want from me?

What can I possible give them?

What am I suppose to do now?

Opening my eyes.

Shower wall.

Everything seems the same and familiar.

My room.

My bathroom.

Max. Michael.

Even Maria, Alex, Isabel and Kyle.

Then there is Alec...

Everything was suppose to be OK if I was home.

I'm home now.

Daddy said I would be safe when I was home.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

I don't feel safe.

Everything feels like a bad dream.

But it wasn't.

It happened.

Mommy and Daddy are gone.....

All gone.

Sinking down in the tub. Pulling my knees to my chest.

What am I suppose to do now?

I don't know what to do.

Everything is the same like I never left.

But I did.

Cold dark steel.
Pain.
Darkness.
Beeping.
Blood.
Hands.
Bright light.

NO NO NO NO!

Don't even go there.

I don't want to be there.

But I was here too wasn't I?

Watching Max.
Here.
His house.
The desert.
With everyone else.
Max talking to me.

I saw that.

I felt that.

Didn't I?

How?

Was I here or not?

Time seems the same.....

How can I be in two places?

What happened?

Cold hushing water.
Chilling me to the bone.

Why?

How long was I gone?

Feeling my head start to throb.

Was I even gone?

What happened?

"Don't let go." Max kissing our intertwine hands.
Looking down at the rushing water.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"Remember don't let go." Tightening his grip.
Jumping

I don't understand......

Do I belong here anymore?

Is it safe here?

Cold freezing water.
Losing Max's hand.
Tossed around in the current.
Trying to keep my head above water.

Everything feels so out of control.

Am I the same?

I don't feel it.

Who am I now?

Lost.....

"Liz....." Max's soft voice floating through.

Max.....

I was with Max right?

Metallic taste.
Pain in my leg.

Barely aware of the now freezing water being shut off.

When did it get cold?

What happened to me?

WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?

Vaguely aware of the towel being pulled around me.

"Liz. Look at me..."

What am I suppose to do now?

My mom and Dad are gone.

They're gone.

What now?

What now?

What happened to me?

"Liz. Baby look at me. Liz look at me please." Max's voice more soft but demanding.

Max.

My Max.

I was with Max.

Saw and felt Max.

Max in my room.
Max at school.
Max curled up on my bed crying.
Max talking to me.
Max searching for me.

Was safe when I was with Max....

"Liz are you with me?"



Wasn't hurting when I was with Max.

"Do we need to connect with her?" Michael

"No. I feel her. She's here. She's just scared and confused. Liz baby?"

Blinking a couple of times.

Max.

Seeing the concern so clearly on Max's face.

Max.

Wasn't alone when I was with Max.

"Liz baby? You with me?"

My Max.

There was no darkness or pain.

Max

Nodding my head.

Safe when I was with Max.

"Your alright. It's alright." Wiping the tears off my face that I didn't even realize that I was crying. Kissing my forehead. "Lets just get you dried and into some warm clothes. I'm going to pick you up and take you into your room now." Kissing me once more on the forehead. Gentle picking me up. Pulling me closer to him.

His love and warmth sinking though me.

Closing my eyes.

Max.

My Max.

"It's OK. Your going to be alright. I'm here. I love you." Max whispers.

"Is she alright?" Female voice

"Liz honey?" Male voice

"Just back up and give Max some room." Recognizing Michael's voice.

Feeling Max sitting me down on the edge of the bed.

Resisting the urge to reach for him. To pull him close to me once more.

"Her lips are blue." Female.

Feeling the towel being pulled tighter around me.

"It's alright. She's alright." Max running his hands up and down my arms. "We will just getting you all nice and warm."

Feeling his love and warmth wash over me in waves.

"What the hell happened?" Female

"How long was she in there?" male

"Clearly she traumatized." Other female

Go away. Please just go away.

"No. She's alright. Liz is just fine. Your just fine." Max

Feeling my hair dry as my body once more starts to warm.

"Look at her. She is not alright." Female

Amy...

'Liz, Maria its time for bed. And don't stay up talking all night.'
'You two are my favorite girls.' Hugging me and Maria
'Liz did you want to stay for dinner?'

It's Maria's mom.

"Max. This is clearly not OK. We need to get her some help." Male hushed voice.

"We're taking care of her." Michael.

"You guys might not be able to help her." Male hush voice. "None of you have dealt with anything like this before."

"We got her. Liz is going to be just fine." Michael voice taking an edge. "I know what I dealt with wasn't this bad but I might have a good idea."

"Oh Michael." Amy

"Liz. Can you look at me baby?" Max rubbing my arms once more.

"Liz is clearly not the same girl that you remember. You don't realize what she was been through could do to a person." Male hush voice.

"Liz is going to be OK. We are going to help her." Michael. "Liz is strong. It will take time but she will make it."

"How do you think you are going to help her? Sure Max healed her physical but emotionally? I don't think you realize the extend of damage that was done to her. She looks out of it. Unresponsive. Max honey, she might never recover." Other female.

Damage?

Never recover?

"Stop talking like she not even in the room." Michael growling.



Damaged?

"You kids just don't understand what you are getting into." Other female.



I'm damaged?

"ENOUGH!" Max

[Twilighteyes]

Thanks everyone!

behrstars
Timelord31
L-J-L 76
roswell4life
Flamehair
roswell3053
begonia9508
Ms_BuffyAnneSummers
Michelle in Yonkers
paper

Thanks everyone that took the time to leave feedback. I know I said it before but it is true. The more feedback that you get the faster I type!

Thanks again everyone.

This part is maining setting up for the next part............

CHAPTER 21

MAX'S POV

Feeling the doubt, fear and panic start to come off of Liz in waves.

"ENOUGH!" I yell.

Regretting the outburst immediately.

Feeling Liz flinch pulling away from me. Terror clearly in her eyes.

Items around the room start to shake.

"Maxwell." Hearing Michael growl out.

"It's alright. It's OK. Your alright." Taking her hands sending her my love and reassurance. Ignoring the green current that appears beneath her skin. Not taking my eyes off her. "Don't listen to them. Your going to be fine. Just fine. I promise you. There is nothing wrong with you."

Feeling Liz's urge to retreat more as I try to take hold of her power as she pulls away from me more.

"What happening to her?" Amy

"Max what is going on?" Dad

"Oh god, I didn't think she could understand us." Mom

"What they hell did you think was happening?" Michael voice low and dangerous.

Feeling Liz fight more against me. Trying to retreat. Taking everything I had to control her raw powers.

"I think you guys need to leave." Michael growling out.

"You can't be serious." Amy

"Try me." Michael leaving no room for argument.

"It's alright. Stay with me. Your alright." Squeezing her hand once more. "Mom, Dad, Amy, do what he says. Michael....."

I need you.

"Your not helping, your just making all of this harder on Liz." Michael sitting down next to Liz placing his hands on mine. "It's OK. Your going to be OK." Feeling the connection with Michael spring to life.

'Your alright.'

'It's alright. Nothing is going to happen to you.' Michael helping to control Liz's powers.

'Your going to be alright. Take a breath. Stay with me.'

'Your strong Liz. I know you can do this. I promise you that you will be alright.' Michael

'There is nothing wrong with you baby. Your alright. You hear me Liz.'

'Don't listen to them Liz. Your going to be OK. I promise you. Your just fine. Alright?' Michael

Feeling something shift as Liz finally takes a breath.

Liz eyes clearing as she looking from me to Michael.

"Liz?" Speaking out loud.

Say something please....

Feeling her fear and confusion coming off of her in waves but no longer retreating.

"That's it kid. Stay with us." Michael.

The green sparks dissipating.

"Your alright." Michael reassuring once more.

Finally nodding her head. Causing me to release the breath that I was holding.

Standing at the bedroom doorway looking at her now as she sits next to the window. In her now too big pink jumpsuit. Eyes closed. Forehead pressed against the window frame. The barely touched breakfast that Michael had made her. Sitting now cold beside her. Watching as the wind catch her hair causing it to take flight around her.

God she is beautiful.

How did I make it so long without you?

I'm so afraid that all of this will be too much for you. That you are just going to slip away and I won't be able to get you back.

Maria getting up from Liz's bed where Michael was currently sleeping to come stand beside me.

Feeling myself smile at the fact that Michael won't leave Liz alone either now.

The unspoken agreement that either one of them will be with Liz at all times from now.

Liz going to the bathroom might become an issue.

"How is she doing?" Not taking my eyes off Liz.

"Same. I had to tell her to take bites of her food. After a while she just stopped. Michael told me not to push...." Finally looking at Maria seeing she was close to tears.

Nodding my head. Taking her arm and leading her into the hall.

Liz doesn't need to see Maria break down.

After getting Liz settled down. Mom and Dad out of the room and Amy calm enough to leave the room too. Leave Liz alone long enough to get dressed in the clothes that Maria had picked out for Liz the night before with Maria's help. Michael fixed Liz some breakfast after Amy insisting that Liz needed to eat. Muttering something about if Liz was going to eat it would have to be something edible.

After the huge argument with my parents on what Liz really needed. Pointing out the fact that we can't exactly take her to a hospital. That we couldn't keep Liz a prisoner in her own house either. Also pointing out that the open space and mountain would be good for Liz. That it would be dangerous for Liz to stay with having no control over her powers. That she could easily expose herself. All of us. Just ending up with all of them in a white room or dead was when they finally relented.



Especially when Alec came back and insisted that Liz couldn't stay here. Would be safer in Montana and that with Michael and me. Saying that Liz has improved greatly already.



Only to agree on the fact that they would all stay in Roswell a few more days so that Liz could get a little more bearings on the world before taking her across the country. And on no certain terms that they say anything about Liz being damaged, hurt and unable to recover. If they couldn't they needed to stay away.

I still can't believe that my parents said that.

Shaking my head.



Liz is going to be alright. She has to be.

"She still finches away every time I try to touch her." Maria whispers sadly.

The only ones that Liz allow to touch her was Alec, Michael and me. That being only when she is in distress and we have to open the connection immediately.

"Give her time." Whispers back.

All she is going to need is time.

I have to believe that.

Maria nodding her head. "That's what Michael keeps saying. It's just hard. Liz is my best friend and I was hers. I have known her almost all of my life. We have always been there for each other no matter what. And now, she doesn't trust or know me. Liz would rather have Michael and you then me and Alex." Whispers out. Leaning against the hall wall. "Hell she even trusts Alec more."

"Maria...." Wanting to say something to make her feel better. Just not knowing what to say. Alec walking up. Saving me. "You all set?"

"Yeah. Just wanted to tell Elizabeth."

"Liz." Maria growling out. "Quit calling her Elizabeth. It's Liz."

"Maria." Placing a hand on her shoulder.

We really don't need to get into this again.

"No." Maria shaking her head. "How is she suppose to remember who she is if he keeps calling her Elizabeth. Her name is Liz." Maria hissing out.

"Yeah that maybe right. Maria. But the girl that I met and knew. She is miles away from the girl that you knew and described." Looking sadly at Maria. "Hell she's not even the girl I knew at this point." Shaking his head. "And you might want to take a closer look at your friend. You just might see that she is not the same and might have to except that she might not be ever again. What she went through and survived. It changes you. Pressuring her to be that person that she once was might just be too much for her." Alec voice low.

"You don't think I know that? I only want what's best for Liz." Maria's voice full of hurt.

"Do you? Not to sound harsh but all I have heard from you is whiny about how she can't stand your touch. How you just want your friend back."

"You little......" Maria pointing her finger at Alec. "I never....."

"Alec....." Shaking my head.

This is not the road to take with Maria.

Alec holding up his hand. "All I'm saying is remember what she has been through. How would you feel if the situation was reversed? Everything is not black and white for Elizabeth right now. The life that she had before and what she has been through are meshed and confused. Parts are missing. She's not sure where she belongs now. She's scared. Just think about that."

"If your implying that Liz is not going to be alright." Clenching my hands at my side.

Where does everyone get off saying that Liz won't be alright.

"Not at all." Alec moving so he could look into the room. Quietly. "I have to believe. No I need to believe that Elizabeth is going to be alright. That she is strong enough to over come this. But I'm also realistic enough to realize that she will never be the same way that she was before. A person can't live through what she did and just go back. She will never be able to go back. The only thing we can hope for her, is that she can go forward. Elizabeth is strong. She is the most amazing person that I have ever meet. I have to believe that she is going to be alright."

"Liz will be."

"We will make sure of it." Maria

"The question is. Are you willing to do what is best for Elizabeth."

"Are you?" Maria placing her hands on her hips.

"I am. I'm going back aren't I? I only care about Elizabeth and keeping her safe. That's the least I can do. Now if you will excuse me. I need to go tell her goodbye." Alec going into the room.



Feeling my stomach clench on Alec's words.

Resisting the urge to follow him all the way into the room. Staying at the door.



What did Liz and Alec share?

Is Liz going to be alright with this?

Watching Alec moving Liz's plate and sitting down beside her. Liz staring out the window now.

"Elizabeth?"

Liz showing no sign of hearing him.

"Elizabeth, can you look at me?"

Nothing.

Alec signing. Running his hands through his hair. "Elizabeth. It's me Alec. I need to talk to you. I have to leave."

Liz finally turning towards Alec.

"Hey." Alec giving her a smile. "How are you doing?"

Liz staring at Alec for a minute before nodding her head.

"See, I told you that it was going to be alright. Max and the others will take good care of you. You will never be alone again." Alec looking at me.

Nodding my head.

Liz will never be alone again.

Alec looking once more at Liz. "Your going to stay here a few more days and then they are going to take you to my land in Montana. I think you will love it there. The mountains, a huge lake, fresh air, wild life, its beautiful. I think you will especially like it at night. You will be able to see all the stars. I know how much you missed them. I guess I know why now." Alec giving her a smile. "I'll try to keep in touch to make sure your alright. It might be a while. When its safe I'll try to meet you there. OK?"

Liz just looking at Alec.

Lowering his voice. "Your going to be alright now Elizabeth. Just keep fighting. Never stop. Never let them put out your spark." Alec reaching out to touch her face. Stopping at the last moment. Putting his hand back to his side. "Max did a real good job on you. You look beautiful. Goodbye. Elizabeth."



Alec loves her.



Feeling jealousy run through me.

Alec standing up.

Feeling the panic start to rise in Liz.

"What is going on?" Michael startled awake. "Liz."

Liz standing up too.

"Alec..." Liz whispered cried.

Feeling my heart restrict.

Watching Liz reach for Alec.