A Love She Couldn’t Deny
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Eleven—A Night of Nights
Currently alone in his and Buffy’s bedroom, William looked in front of their mirror at himself. Dressed in his black suit, he looked sharp. He had been rehearsing his speech for the past fifteen minutes. Nearing the end he looked at himself and said, “Not bad for an Easterly.”
Buffy walked in and said, “Not bad at all.” She had been watching, listening for the past five minutes or so, from out in the hall. He was more than ready for this speech. They went over it one more time that morning.
Looking at Buffy, at her in her black dress, William said, “You look beautiful, Buffy. You put your hair up the way it was styled in London.”
Glancing in the mirror, Buffy grinned into the eyes that she met in the reflection and said, “The occasion called for it. Thought I’d surprise you.”
He took her hands into his and looking deeply into her eyes, his love showing completely, William said, “It does.” Pulling her closer to him, William said, “I love you, Buffy.”
Buffy’s heart swelled more now than ever before at hearing those words. Fear was there too for she knew at this moment that she had reached the point she’d feared for awhile—where she would fall apart if this wonderful love they shared ended. Tugging at his jacket front, Buffy leaned up and kissing him said, “I love you too.” Reaching for what she left by the bed, Buffy said, “Wait. There’s one thing you’re missing.” She handed William his black overcoat, he wore in his Spike days and it was clean! She had washed it for him.
William said, “Buffy…thank you, love.” He reached for it, but Buffy shook her head saying, “Turn around.” She helped him put it on and said, “Now we look as we did in London. You have enough of Spike and enough of William to make me not want to leave this room!” Grinning wickedly, William pulled her to him and said, “We could skip it you know.”
Swatting him playfully, Buffy said, “In your dreams. We’re going. You’ve earned this, William. I want to be with you when you walk onto that stage…”
William said, “You will be, love.”
Her eyes filled with tears and she said with happiness, “You ready?”
Nodding, William took Buffy’s arm into his as he had in London and said, “I’m ready.” If his nerves were shot, it was his own problem, William thought….
William and Buffy walked downstairs appearing completely comfortable with what was going on. One thing was certain—their love for each other. Buffy walked close to William, brushing against his side, feeling his warm arm around her shoulders. He squeezed her shoulders and Buffy accepted his brief kiss.
Looking at Joyce, Giles and the Scoobies who were all visiting dressed nicely, William walked over to Joyce and helping her to her feet said gallantly, “Joyce, you look breathtaking.” Smiling, Joyce blushed slightly and said, “Thank you, William.” It was the first time she had ever addressed him as William. Both knew it meant something. She had this feeling…something serious was coming between William and Buffy. As a mother she just felt these things. Turning to Buffy, she joked, “See I told you, Buffy. I told you you’d find your charmer.”
Smiling, Buffy said, “Yes, you did, mom.” She walked to William and said, “Too charming sometimes. Girlfriend, over here.” William turned and grinned at Buffy saying, “How could I forget?” He looked at Giles and whispered in his ear, but loud enough for Buffy to hear, “Take my advice Watcher, pursue this one. Maybe she’ll take kindly to you and ravish you.” Giles just glared at William and said, “Let’s not go into that. Are we ready, Buffy?”
Buffy said, “I’ve been ready. Now come on.” She watched as William hedged and whined. She whispered something suggestive into his ear of what would come after this award ceremony and the sooner they got there the sooner they’d enjoy the reward. He all but pulled her arm saying, “Come on gang. Let’s hit the road.”
When Buffy had a moment since he rushed to the car, Joyce said, “What happened there, Buffy?”
Buffy grinned after William and said, “Gentle persuasion, mom. You might want to use it on Giles. I’ll bet he smiles more tonight…and looks far less stuffy.”
Joyce said, “Buffy!” But she couldn’t help but grin. She had an idea what Buffy had in mind for William and unable to stop it, Joyce had the same ideas for Giles! He still had no idea….
Two hours later….
Parking was no bother. As soon as William and Buffy pulled up and the valet drivers discovered who he was, they opened the car doors and took it out of their hands. So William walked over to Buffy in front of the Scoobies not far behind in the other car and helped her out like a prince. He said, “Come on, Pet.” Buffy said, “I feel I’m walking with a star.” William grinned and said, “Which one?” Of course it wouldn’t matter which one she chose, William thought smugly. Tonight he felt he was equal to any of them—maybe a shade or two above.
Stepping onto pavement, Buffy pulled her black wrapper around her shoulders more snugly, taking his hand with a lost smile. She was so gone. He looked almost regal with his blue eyes poured into her own, his brown hair slicked back. She looked dead on at him and felt him walk with her, his princess, across the parking lot, directly toward the double doors of the rental building.
Willow and the gang of Scoobies and Joyce took a moment to watch as Buffy and William walked across the walkway. It was romantic the way they moved together. They looked good, meant to be. They complimented each other very well.
Joyce said sentimentally, “My Buffy has finally found the right guy. He loves her so much. I see it every time he looks at her, by how he moves so easily with her, the way he speaks about her to me. It just shines. And she is hopelessly lost to him. I’m so proud of her, Giles. She’s worked so hard for happiness, been hurt so much. But I fear as I watch the two of them growing closer and closer…I fear that if it ever ended I think it would destroy them both.”
Giles thought so too, but kept that to himself. He wouldn’t dampen the night by saying that he thought Buffy was too much in love and not enough dedicated to her slaying. Or that fame often brought endings to romances. No, this was William’s and Buffy’s night. Not his to spoil things by being his brooding Watcher self. So he smiled at Joyce and said, “Tonight we don’t have to think about endings, Joyce, but beginnings. This is a new beginning for William.” And for us, Giles thought to himself, leaning on his wishes and hopes for something special with a lady he had been eyeing off and on for ten years… Maybe tonight he’d get up the courage to kiss her.
Each couple walked in until they were all inside. The symposium was huge! The lighting was bright. When you walked inside there was a lobby you walked through then another set of doors. A gentleman wrote down names in a logbook and told them “Hope you enjoy your evening.” Walking into the next section was a flat that looked much like a movie lobby might including the red carpeting! Willow exclaimed, “You guys look. This is like a trip into Wonderland.”
Anya grinned at her and said, “I’ve been to Wonderland. It’s not as cracked up as they make it out. In my dreams. I wound up screaming out loud as a large bunny came running after me!”
Xander put his arm around her shoulder and said, “We got through it though, if I remember right.”
Grinning at him, Anya said, “Xander…” She blushed.
No one asked or chose to about where that conversation could have gone. They were more interested in getting a seat inside the brown double doors that led to the actual matinee section.
Buffy sat in the front row, designated for poets significant others or spouses and families. She watched as he looked over his notes and smiled. She told him before she got seated that he would do just fine, that he was a warrior and good. That seemed to help some, along with the private kiss they shared.
William hated feeling nervous! He hated feeling vulnerable, losing that bit of control that he depended on for survival. He needed to feel strong, without it he was a culprit for the taunting fools of the world. Maybe that was what bothered William most of all, he pondered in his seat. Maybe what got to him the worst was the fact of getting up there at the podium and hearing faceless ghosts, from another time telling him that he was a loser, that he was a bloody poet, that he had no direction and was useless. Being out in the open, on display made it harder for William to deny these things. When it was just he and Buffy it was easy. He had Buffy and he could please her easily, not just in bed, but out of it as well. She loved him—and he loved her with all he had inside him.
Pull it together! He inwardly shouted to himself. Believe in yourself. Buffy believes in you. Your words say how much you’ve changed. Prove it.
Taking his thoughts in, that he was something now, William heard his name being called and walked up to the podium, with a surer step…
Twenty minutes into his speech, William continued, “You ask what inspired me into writing. To be honest it started as a child with my need for an outlet. I grew up in a house that was far from warm. I had to fight early on to prove I was worth a damn. It wasn’t easily won, but I worked at it and finally putting my thoughts and feelings onto the pages, I came up with poetry. But that isn’t what inspires me now. It might have helped me then, but what inspires me now is the one woman that I can’t live without.” Grinning at Buffy, William added, “Yeah, honey, you know I’m talking about you.”
Surprised, Buffy knew she’d never heard this part of his speech. Maybe he had added it in the car…she didn’t know but was touched he was mentioning her.
Looking at the group, William continued, “She’s one hell of a woman. She’s braver than she knows, a true warrior princess. There isn’t much she won’t do to help someone in need. I met her as a young woman, barely seventeen. Back then I wasn’t too keen on making a move because she was so young…and I was older. She didn’t know then—and I doubt does now—that I was in love with her then.”
Buffy wiped her eyes and felt true shock and happiness as she had no idea he loved her then! She’d had eyes for him too, but wasn’t about to show them when she fought him. He was a vampire then and she was too much involved with Angel…a mistake that she grew out of.
William continued, “I dated other girls, but my thoughts always went back to her. I saw her in visions. There wasn’t a night I didn’t wonder what the hell I was doing in this place or in that one when all I could ever want was in Sunnydale.”
Willow sobbed saying, “That’s so sweet.” Anya said, “You’re a sentimentalist, Willow. He only says that because he’s on stage.” Even as she snuck a Kleenex to dab her eyes.
Xander said, “Somehow I don’t get that from this declaration.”
Giles said, “Me either. Something’s coming.”
Joyce said, “Hush you all! This is romantic.”
Ethan grinned, eager to get to the bachelor party with Spike.
William looked into the audience, then directly at Buffy and said, “So I dedicate this award to that special woman, Elizabeth Anne Summers. Buffy, you who goes above and beyond the call of duty to be a beacon to the world. You help others in need you inspire me. So come on up here.”
Buffy stood and as she walked toward the stairs, everyone could see her wiping her eyes and smiling.
Reaching the stage without realizing it, so on her cloud of happiness, Buffy walked to William, her smile broad and her love obvious, she walked into his arms, hugging him tightly. A lot of Awe’s were sounded in the audience. She said through tears, “Thank you.” Looking into her eyes he said, “Thank you for bringing me here, for everything, Buffy.”
Turning to the podium, Buffy said shyly, “Hello. I guess you all know I am Buffy.” They all laughed with her and said, “Hi Buffy.” Turning to William she took the award, he handed to her, knowing she’d find a place on their mantel for it to display beautifully at home.
William turned to the podium and said, “Since you all chose me for this honor, I get to have a finale too. (Turning to Buffy he continued) Buffy, you are everything I could ever want in a friend, a lover. I can’t live without you. I don’t want to live without you.”
Her heart fluttering, Buffy said, “William…what are you…saying?”
William surprised her and everyone in the audience by getting on one knee and looking up into her eyes saying, “Buffy Anne Summers, you’ve taken someone that didn’t think a lot of himself and seeing something in me, helped me to see it too. You’re my match in every way. I want to be a better man and I want to share my life with you. Marry me.”
Buffy was about to say yes, but felt suddenly extremely overwhelmed and the things that she had put off saying to anyone were heavy over her heart now. She was afraid he was going to be disappointed when he found out her choice. So she handed him his award and said, “I’m sorry, William. I can’t marry you…not when I am so confused.” She ran off toward the backstage.
William didn’t think to say anything to the audience, he merely followed her to find out what was bothering her. He knew something was bothering her, he had felt it for sometime. It was here. So he would face it with her….
The crowd become uproarious over Buffy’s handing him back his award. It took all the guards to keep them from bursting after her, rioting. They were kept at bay, but for how long?
Willow looked over at Anya and Xander, at Ethan and Giles and Joyce and said, “What are we going to do now?”
Giles said, “Let them work it out. Whatever it is that is bothering Buffy, it will come out.”
Willow said, “But I’m her best friend…I can’t help but worry about her. Wonder what I can do to help.”
Xander said, “I think we should just leave her alone. Do as Giles says here.”
Joyce said, “As much as this hurts all of us, we have to. Buffy’s a strong woman. She’ll get through it. She will. So will William…if it is over that is. I’m still not so sure that it is though.”
Buffy had run to the first backstage room she could find. She didn’t think to look and see what name was on the door. She just ran in the darkness of the room and let the tears fall, pulling her hair out of its neat 1800’s style.
She started to chastise herself, “I’m such an idiot! The man I love that I have loved for so long has asked me to marry him…and I walk off like a moron.”
Suddenly feeling him behind her before she saw him, Buffy said, “I’m so sorry, William. This is your night and I ruin it by saying I’m confused.”
William wasn’t angry, but he was worried for the first time that she didn’t love him enough. Maybe he misjudged. He said quietly, “I knew something was bothering you…I just didn’t know what. Are you confused about us?”
Shaking her head, Buffy said, “No, I’m not confused about us.” Turning to him, she said from her heart, “I know I love you—your beautiful declaration told me how much you love me.”
William said, “I do love you, Buffy. I always have.” After a pause, he continued, “So what is it then, love? Is it slaying?”
Looking downward, Buffy said, “Yes. I am so tired. Tired of going to bed dreaming of slaying vamps and demons. I’m sick of smelling like dust and ashes when I come home. I’m burnt out. After killing a thousand vamps and otherworldly creatures I feel I’m losing my edge. I’m walking a fine line between doing a job like a robot and hating Giles for insisting it of me. I need to retire, Spike.”
Letting out a deep breath, William said, “Pet I am not about to tell you what to do.”
Buffy said, “I know that. You wouldn’t.”
Shaking his head, William said, “No, I wouldn’t. Everyone has their own path to choose. I chose a new one myself.”
Buffy smiled and said, “What you said about me tonight, William, those sweet words, they meant the world to me. I love you so much.”
William walked to Buffy and touching her face, kissed her on her forehead and said, “I love you. Enough to tell you a truth I’ve kept hidden. I’ve known for sometime that you weren’t happy. I didn’t know what it was about. I’d hoped it wasn’t me. I’m glad it isn’t. But you’ve been rebelling against Giles, your friends, your mom, since we got together.”
Buffy said, “I thought you weren’t going to tell me what to do…or pull a Gi…”
Seeing his eyes go direct, she stopped there and smiled saying, “Well…if the stuffy fits…”
William ignored this and said, “I’m not bossing you around or telling you what to do, Buffy. I’m talking only about myself here. What I’m seeing with my eyes. Honesty kills, slayer, but it is what I’m going to play on now. You love me, but in loving me, you rebel against everything you were called to do. You were born a slayer, just as I am a fighter. It isn’t healthy. Man!” Running a hand through his hair, William said, “I can’t believe I didn’t see this before.”
Fearing what she was piecing together to be a goodbye of sorts, Buffy said, “See what? What are you getting at, Spike?”
Spike/William said, “As much as it is going to bloody well kill me, I am going to move out for awhile. Give you some space so you can decide what choice you are going to make.”
Buffy said, “What choice? I chose you! I love you! You are the most important thing in my life, William.”
William looked at her fully now and said, “Listen to what you just said, Buffy. I am the most important thing in your life—even more important than your friends, your mom, protecting the town of Sunnydale? I can’t take that kind of pressure. You put me on this bloody pedastal and expect everyone else around you to just take the flack while you choose to…sleep with me.”
Feeling slapped, Buffy turned and said sadly, “That has to be the most cutting thing you have ever said to me.”
William said, “You need to hear it, Buffy. It kills me to tell you what I see. Because seeing it I know I’m the cause. Don’t get me wrong, I love you, Buffy. I love you and will always love you, but you have to decide what you want. If you are wanting to quit slaying, fine. Let Giles know, and help train some new slayers. If not, you need to get serious about it because right now you’re all they’ve got. They’re needing a slayer, Buffy.”
Buffy said, “You make it sound like I just ignore all my responsibilities to be with you…like nothing else matters to me.”
William walked up close behind her and touching her shoulder he said, “Don’t you?”
Chuckling, he added, “Isn’t it fun to lay in bed and forget we have responsibilities? To just make love all day and all night? I’d rather do that than fight in cemeteries I’ll tell you that. And you know I want you. That I need you. You know I love you, Buffy.”
He turned her into his arms and pulled her against him. Buffy leveled her eyes on his and said, “But you’re telling me goodbye.”
Moving in for a second, just before he would kiss her, William said, “But I’m saying goodbye…for you, Buffy, so you can figure out what you need. If it’s me, I want more than what we have. I want forever with you Buffy. If you can’t offer that because of your slaying, your obligations, I’ll live with it and continue slaying with you. I’m too committed to do otherwise. Let me know.”
He started for the door and Buffy said as strongly as she could, “Where are you going to stay?”
William said, “Don’t worry about me, Pet. I figure this check they gave me will rent me an apartment in Sunny D. I meant what I said. You are amazing, more than you know you are. I’ll let the others know where I’ll be. I have to get out of here before this place consumes me.” He smiled, but deep down he knew it was forced. Inside he was hurt and hating this worse than anything. But if it helped Buffy, it would be worth what he had to do. She was what counted, what mattered most….
Buffy stood alone in the darkness and said, “What just happened?”
She found out her answer soon enough when she went home alone to a next to empty house, with her mom here in town, but out on a first date with Giles. She threw on her PJ’s and some low music and tried to figure out what she was going to do next. She loved William, she knew that. So somehow she had to figure out the mess she felt coming down on her every time she went to the damn cemetery….
Buffy knew then at least part of what she had to do—how Giles or the Scoobies would react was anyone’s guess. She’d do what she had to, to help out. But she was done with slaying. She’d had her fill….
TBC…
A Love She Couldn't Deny BtVS - Adult - Dead and Buried
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angelrose242000
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angelrose242000
- Enthusiastic Roswellian
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- Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2004 8:28 pm
- Location: Max's bedroom
A Love She Couldn’t Deny
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Twelve—Pitfalls
Two Weeks Later…
It had been two weeks since the Symposium…since William had won his award—since his heartfelt proposal. Since he had said goodbye. Buffy Summers was still trying to deal with knowing in one night everything changed.
Mom stayed in Sunnydale somehow knowing Buffy needed the support. It had been almost more than she could stand watching as he packed up his suitcase and walked out the front door. Words spoken before he left were difficult, painful, and minimal. Buffy numbly watched, trying to stay controlled to keep from falling apart.
It all went to crap when he drove away, however. In that moment when it was just her and Joyce, she broke down into a waterfall of tears. Turning to mom had been both simple and necessary. Buffy felt so grateful she was there. She had moped around the house in the days that followed his leaving her and had used sick time from the Arcadia when it proved impossible to work.
She knew that eventually she would have to at least do some work at home to keep her job, but for now, she took advantage of the hundreds of hours she had available. They helped her now when her life felt so destroyed.
Mom had called Maui and left Bridget in charge of the Arts and Crafts Center that she owned. Bridget was a manager and Mom said she felt sure that she could manage while she was here.
So it was just the two of them in the house now. Buffy watched in a blur as her mom brought in groceries this particular day, June 24th. The sky was cloudy like it was going to storm. Buffy had not paid much attention to the weather or anything in days. She sat in her Garfield pajamas at four in the afternoon and fought this wave of sickness that right now was another nagging bother.
She ignored it as she watched a western. Mom dropped her keys on the table and two plastic bags saying, “Buffy. I’m home.”
When Buffy just sat there, Joyce walked into the living room and said, “Buffy, did you hear me?”
Buffy looked up then and said half focused, “Huh? Oh, hi mom. Did you get the Gummy Bears and Hot Pockets?”
Nodding, Joyce said, “I found both. I could use your help, bringing stuff in. If you’re up to it, that is.” The fact was, Joyce knew Buffy needed to get back into the swing of things. She felt terrible for her daughter, but two weeks had gone by and she had let herself go to nothing. She was barely eating, was letting her clothes stay on for days at a time and Joyce knew wasn’t slaying at all.
She’d nearly called Giles but figured it was best to give Buffy some time. When Willow finally called her, Joyce said that Buffy was recovering from a bad go with William but would be getting in touch with them soon. That had been days ago. Joyce wouldn’t chastise Buffy for her pain, goodness knew she had been through enough of her own in her life. She just wished there was something she could do to alleviate it. Or take it on herself. Anything to help her get through this.
Buffy said, “Can you believe this, mom? You’d think the bullets just re-materialize with each scene. It’s funny.”
Joyce watched for a minute and said with a chuckle, “I know. I’ve never understood why they make them that way, but I guess that’s why I’m not a big time producer in Hollywood.”
Buffy felt guilty as she watched her mom head back out to get more groceries, so she put on her matching Garfield slippers and got busy helping. Her spirits down, though, she found herself taking a bath at five that evening and heading off to bed. The bed was a comforting thing, it kept her from thinking about William, knowing he wasn’t coming back and that she was the responsible one for it. Facing that was just too hard right then. Buffy couldn’t face reality. Fantasy and dreams were much nicer, much more pleasant….
William sat in the living room of his apartment that same Saturday night watching with hysteria A Blood Fest. He’d had nothing else to do and needed a break from his hours of pouring thoughts into poems. He’d been up all night working tirelessly at it. He thought this would be a good break.
However, after just twenty minutes of watching, he knew he had made a mistake. Whoever made this movie was bored, broke, and desperate, William thought. He found himself shouting out loud, “What a bloody joke!” He flipped off the tube and stood stretching as he said, “I can’t believe I let myself watch such an example of poofter ignorance! It’s a complete shame they couldn’t put some real spooks in it. Like they know what it’s like to be a creature of the night. People should let alone what they don’t understand.” “Damn right.” He answered himself. Then continuing he said in a new fright he had yet to experience, “And I am standing in my living room talking to myself about a regular poofter fiesta done up by a lame brain wanker.” William ran a hand over his face, massaging his temples that were tired from looking at pages upon pages of written words. His hands ached from the extensive writing. He ignored it as he tried to digest talking to himself and answering himself. To think he had come to this, William thought disgustedly.
It had to be Buffy’s fault. He couldn’t’ stop thinking about her since moving out. She was the culprit!
Yeah, that was so much easier to accept than the fact that he had sunk low enough to have fluent conversations with himself in the solitude of his apartment! To accept that meant he was really in trouble.
Walking to the fridge in his kitchen that was the size of a closet, William grabbed a cold beer. Popping the top he drank a good swallow and let the fizz and sensation enter his system. Taking his beer and a bag of peanuts to the stereo, William turned on some low rock. Grabbing his folder of poetry, he walked to the couch, resolved to read
over it again. He had to have it sound exactly right before sending it in. It was not going out of his hands until that moment. Not until the moment when he felt sure he had given it his all.
After reading halfway through the second stanza of A New Direction, William dropped the pages and said somberly, “I’m gone two weeks and still I can’t get you out of my head, Pet. This decision to give you space and time is killing me. I hope you are doing better than I am.” He looked at the black telephone sitting on the in table, such a great temptation to William to call Buffy and see how she was, himself. Standing, he said, “I have to stop this! Buffy is better off now that she has time to deal with what she wants.”
Just then a knock sounded on the door and William shook his head wishing he could ignore the rasping sound or shout Go away. Knowing those were out, he settled for a mumbled Bloody Hell and walked across his living room, to the front door. Checking out the peephole was habitual so he did.
Opening the door in surprise—dismal surprise—William eyed the redheaded young woman who went by the name of Willow Rosenberg and said, “Willow.”
Willow said politely, “Can I come in?”
Nodding, backing away, William said, “Sure.”
Willow stepped inside and turning to face William she said, “We need to talk.”
William said, “Okay.” He had a feeling it was not going to be a friendly conversation, but he said, “Want something to drink? I’ve got Pepsi and beer.”
Willow said, “Pepsi would be good.”
William nodded and walking back to the living room with one, handed it to Willow and said, “What’s going on?”
Willow looked at William and said, “It’s Buffy.”
William said lowly, “You stopped by here to talk about Buffy?”
Willow nodded and said glumly, “Yeah. I know it’s probably hard right now doing that, William. But it’s important.”
William said, “Well come in here then. I’ve been working on some stanza’s for my poetry submissions.”
Nodding, Willow said, “I understand. How is that going by the way?”
William shrugged modestly and said, “Pretty good. I’ve got this apartment rent paid for the next two months with utilities and cable with the first check. So I guess I can’t complain.”
Willow’s eyes got large as she said, “No, I guess not. Can I sit here?”
William took his jacket off the chair by the couch and said, “Go ahead.”
Willow took a seat and looking at William said, “Thanks.”
A pause…
William looked over at Willow when he noted she faltered from continuing, and seeing her nervous expression said, “Willow what is it? Is she in trouble?”
Shaking her head, hoping not, Willow said, “She’s not in trouble, so much, as closed in. She doesn’t go out anymore.”
William said, “She’s always been a loner, Willow, as long as I’ve known her.”
Nodding, Willow fought the initial defense mechanism that wanted to come out at hearing William trying to make this visit seem ridiculous. She reminded herself that he was hurting himself and this was painful for everyone, William included.
Willow continued, “But this is worse. She’s stopped slaying, all together. Giles is frantic, wondering why she doesn’t meet him at his place to practice anymore. She’s quit coming to the cemetery to patrol.”
William eyed Willow saying sympathetically, “I’m sorry, Willow.” What else could he say? He wouldn’t bring up personal things that they’d discussed about her slaying. He wanted her to do that, when she was ready. It was obvious now that she had chosen to quit slaying. Or to hide out and bloody dodge it.
Enraged, William said, “I knew she was slacking. But I had no idea it was this bad.”
Willow said, “Oh it’s worse than that. We all understand why you haven’t been showing, because of the breakup. But she is the slayer. We need her. She won’t leave her house, or call anyone. Not even me.” Willow added sadly, feeling her throat constrict with pain at feeling she was losing her friend.
Willow added, “I tried…her mom said she would be getting in touch, but that has been almost a week ago. She still hasn’t called back. I’m worried about her.”
Nodding, William said lowly, “I’ll see what I can do. I thought when I told her I was saying goodbye that she would go to Giles if she wanted to quit slaying. Not further into destruction.”
Willow said, “She’s hurt that you broke it off. I know that. Buffy loves you, William.”
William grabbed his black coat and said, “Look what’s come of that love. Willow I’m on this.”
Walking with him to the door, Willow said, “Thanks, William. Even if you can’t change what she’s doing, I appreciate your attempt. I’ll always see you as a friend.”
William hugged her and said, “Always. Now run along home. I’ll try and find her.” Somehow he thought he knew where she was. At home. Had his choice to leave been the best thing for Buffy…or the worst?
Buffy was reading a magazine when the doorbell rang. She hollered, “Mom! Door!” She had gotten back up when she couldn’t sleep anymore. She’d been sleeping so much that her hours were off.
Joyce hollered back from upstairs, “Can you get it sweetie? I’m detained up here with a client on the phone.”
Letting out a sigh of disgust at having to move off the couch, Buffy walked to the front door, yes, still in her pajamas. Checking her watch and seeing it was eleven at night, Buffy rolled her eyes and opened the door with a scowl on her face. She was prepared to have words with whomever thought it was a fine time of night to stop by.
The very last person Buffy expected to see on her doorstep just happened to be there. William said, “Hello Buffy.”
Stunned she said in a mumble, “William…”
She backed up and he walked inside. Shutting the door, she watched as he walked to her living room to have a seat. Shrugging her shoulders, she followed him in there, sluggish as ever.
Plopping on the chair, he on the couch, Buffy said, “What brings you by?”
William took a second or two to let his anger cool down, but still when he looked at her now, he felt enough remaining to say frankly, “What the hell are you doing?”
Jolted a bit, Buffy said, “What am I doing? It’s eleven at night. I’m reading a magazine and talking with you. What does it look like I’m doing?”
William let her cool words fuel his as he went on, “Pissing your life away.”
Buffy stated flatly now, some of her pride returning, “Just what right do you have coming into my house insulting me?”
William said, “What right do I have coming into your house? I’ll tell you what bleeding right I have.”
He paused and Buffy gave him a long look and said, “You were saying?”
William replied, “I guess you could say I have very little rights to come here. But a good friend of yours stopped by warning me you were letting yourself go to hell. I chose to take her seriously. Especially since it was Willow.”
Buffy’s ire moved to shock as she said, “Willow stopped by your apartment? Why? What right did she have doing that?”
William said, “Enough with the rights trip, Buffy. You’re evading.” Taking a long look at her at her rumpled clothes and her hair that was a complete mess, he added, “I hear you aren’t slaying anymore, so I gather you’ve let that go about the same time you let yourself go too.” Taking out a cigarette and lighting it, William said, “When I ended things, Buffy, I hoped you would make a decision and move on, productively, not wallow in your own pity…”
She snapped and said, “Listen to me, William. When you chose to walk out that front door, you stopped being able to tell me what to do, or how to do it.”
William said, “I never told you what to do or how while I lived here, Buffy. And I’m not telling you now.”
Buffy felt tears fall as she said, “I’m just so sick of everyone expecting me to be the cure all in Sunnydale. I want to be able to be me and have a life of my own.”
William said, “Well love I hate to say it, but they’re not banging down your door to get help now. From what Willow tells me they are slaying without you—they’re risking their bloody necks for it—but they are managing. What’s wrong by the way with being a slayer? You have a unique gift, Buffy, one that most people would love to have. You have everyone looking up to you, seeing you as a warrior, not expecting you to have all the answers, but believing in you because they know you can where they can’t.”
Buffy said, “Being the slayer has cost me friends, it has cost me a watcher in the past, college boyfriends…you…just the man I love and gave myself to. This gift you speak of gives me no room for anything but slaying. It’s not fair.”
William watched as Buffy covered her face and wept some more like a schoolgirl and couldn’t help the disgust that he felt. He stood and said, “So you don’t want to slay anymore, but you haven’t got the guts to tell anyone this. Fine. I’ll save you the bloody bother and tell them myself!”
He started for the door with Buffy soon on his heels. She said, “Wait!”
William turned at the door and waited.
Buffy stammered, “Giles is not going to believe you if you tell him I’ve quit slaying. He won’t unless it comes from me.”
William said directly, “So get dressed and come along then.”
Buffy knew he was waiting, but didn’t have the gumption to move. She hated that feeling, but it existed. So she said, “I can’t…”
William was clearly hurt, but masked it fast saying, “Fine. As I said before, I’ll handle it.” With that, William walked out the door, shutting it soundly as he went.
Joyce stood in the background watching as Buffy’s hand pounded on the door. She could no nothing but take in what she saw. Seeing it for what it was now, she knew this had to end, her being here to lean on so heavily. Goodness knew if William couldn’t break her, the man she loved most of all, then was there any hope that anything could? As long as she stayed in this realm of pity no, Joyce answered her thoughts. She wasn’t helping her. If anything she was hurting Buffy worse by babying her. It had to end.
Joyce heard a voice inside that told her what she had to do. Walking into the room, by the door, she looked at Buffy and as painful as it was she said, “Buffy I’ve made a decision. I’m going back to Maui, first thing in the morning.”
Buffy looked at her mom in horror it seemed and said, “What? Mom you can’t. I mean, you just got here. I thought Bridget was handling things.”
Joyce replied in zest, “Bridget is doing a remarkable job, that I’m sure of. But the center is mine, Buffy. It is my responsibility.” She leveled her eyes with Buffy and said, “Like it or not, we all have to face those, Buffy.”
Buffy said hurt, “You heard my conversation with William.”
Joyce said, “I did—part of it anyway.”
Buffy whined, “Then you had to see how big a jerk he was for coming over here, expecting me to just listen to his tirade.”
Joyce said, “I think he was right, Buffy. William loves you, he wouldn’t have stopped by here this time of night especially if he wasn’t concerned about how you were.”
Buffy said, “Willow went over there. She is the reason.”
Joyce crossed her hands over her chest and said, “And if you buy that being the only reason then you are just fooling yourself. William does what William wants to do. No one makes him. Anyway, enough on William. I’m not concerned about him, I know he is going to be fine. But honey you have to get back in the swing of living. This moping around the house, not doing a thing except watching TV and reading magazines is unhealthy. And your slaying…”
Buffy said, “I’m quitting slaying. William should be on his way over to Giles’s now informing him of this.”
Joyce said, “And you just let him go. In one move you just let him take that responsibility that should have been yours, being the slayer, and let him fix it for you so you didn’t have to.”
Buffy wasn’t prepared for that comment and so she jerked back in reaction. Hearing those words she just threw up her wall of protection and tried to be brave saying, “You don’t know what it’s like, you’ve never been a slayer.”
Joyce was strained and weary. She knew now that this was definitely the right move, for another week in this house and she would just tear into Buffy herself verbally. So she replied quietly, “Buffy…I’m tired…and I’m going to bed. You probably won’t see me in the morning, but I’ll call you when my flight makes it back to Maui.”
Buffy felt her mom’s hug and said, “Mom…I’m sorry…”
Joyce broke away and looking at her daughter said, “So am I, Buffy. I am truly sorry that things didn’t work out with you and William.”
Seeing Buffy’s wall that caused her look standoffish, Joyce added stronger for it, “But it is time to move on. Whatever you are wanting to do with your life, whether it is to keep working your job and retiring slaying or trying to decide about William, make that choice, but for pity’s sake, take a shower and get on with it.”
Joyce left Buffy alone in the room to deal with the combination of hearing her words and that of William’s. Reality settling in a little, Buffy looked at herself in the mirror above the fireplace. Shocked and embarrassed at what she saw with eyes that were aware of clarity, Buffy nearly wept again. But this time she wiped her stray tears aside and told herself stronger, “Life goes on.” She would talk with Giles, in the morning. She’d also apologize to Willow and the others. But thinking of how things were tonight with William, with how she acted, she didn’t think there was a chance at all of him being able to look at her without seeing her at her worst. The humiliation of him having to see her that way had her wondering if she could ever put herself in the position of him having to again…
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Twelve—Pitfalls
Two Weeks Later…
It had been two weeks since the Symposium…since William had won his award—since his heartfelt proposal. Since he had said goodbye. Buffy Summers was still trying to deal with knowing in one night everything changed.
Mom stayed in Sunnydale somehow knowing Buffy needed the support. It had been almost more than she could stand watching as he packed up his suitcase and walked out the front door. Words spoken before he left were difficult, painful, and minimal. Buffy numbly watched, trying to stay controlled to keep from falling apart.
It all went to crap when he drove away, however. In that moment when it was just her and Joyce, she broke down into a waterfall of tears. Turning to mom had been both simple and necessary. Buffy felt so grateful she was there. She had moped around the house in the days that followed his leaving her and had used sick time from the Arcadia when it proved impossible to work.
She knew that eventually she would have to at least do some work at home to keep her job, but for now, she took advantage of the hundreds of hours she had available. They helped her now when her life felt so destroyed.
Mom had called Maui and left Bridget in charge of the Arts and Crafts Center that she owned. Bridget was a manager and Mom said she felt sure that she could manage while she was here.
So it was just the two of them in the house now. Buffy watched in a blur as her mom brought in groceries this particular day, June 24th. The sky was cloudy like it was going to storm. Buffy had not paid much attention to the weather or anything in days. She sat in her Garfield pajamas at four in the afternoon and fought this wave of sickness that right now was another nagging bother.
She ignored it as she watched a western. Mom dropped her keys on the table and two plastic bags saying, “Buffy. I’m home.”
When Buffy just sat there, Joyce walked into the living room and said, “Buffy, did you hear me?”
Buffy looked up then and said half focused, “Huh? Oh, hi mom. Did you get the Gummy Bears and Hot Pockets?”
Nodding, Joyce said, “I found both. I could use your help, bringing stuff in. If you’re up to it, that is.” The fact was, Joyce knew Buffy needed to get back into the swing of things. She felt terrible for her daughter, but two weeks had gone by and she had let herself go to nothing. She was barely eating, was letting her clothes stay on for days at a time and Joyce knew wasn’t slaying at all.
She’d nearly called Giles but figured it was best to give Buffy some time. When Willow finally called her, Joyce said that Buffy was recovering from a bad go with William but would be getting in touch with them soon. That had been days ago. Joyce wouldn’t chastise Buffy for her pain, goodness knew she had been through enough of her own in her life. She just wished there was something she could do to alleviate it. Or take it on herself. Anything to help her get through this.
Buffy said, “Can you believe this, mom? You’d think the bullets just re-materialize with each scene. It’s funny.”
Joyce watched for a minute and said with a chuckle, “I know. I’ve never understood why they make them that way, but I guess that’s why I’m not a big time producer in Hollywood.”
Buffy felt guilty as she watched her mom head back out to get more groceries, so she put on her matching Garfield slippers and got busy helping. Her spirits down, though, she found herself taking a bath at five that evening and heading off to bed. The bed was a comforting thing, it kept her from thinking about William, knowing he wasn’t coming back and that she was the responsible one for it. Facing that was just too hard right then. Buffy couldn’t face reality. Fantasy and dreams were much nicer, much more pleasant….
William sat in the living room of his apartment that same Saturday night watching with hysteria A Blood Fest. He’d had nothing else to do and needed a break from his hours of pouring thoughts into poems. He’d been up all night working tirelessly at it. He thought this would be a good break.
However, after just twenty minutes of watching, he knew he had made a mistake. Whoever made this movie was bored, broke, and desperate, William thought. He found himself shouting out loud, “What a bloody joke!” He flipped off the tube and stood stretching as he said, “I can’t believe I let myself watch such an example of poofter ignorance! It’s a complete shame they couldn’t put some real spooks in it. Like they know what it’s like to be a creature of the night. People should let alone what they don’t understand.” “Damn right.” He answered himself. Then continuing he said in a new fright he had yet to experience, “And I am standing in my living room talking to myself about a regular poofter fiesta done up by a lame brain wanker.” William ran a hand over his face, massaging his temples that were tired from looking at pages upon pages of written words. His hands ached from the extensive writing. He ignored it as he tried to digest talking to himself and answering himself. To think he had come to this, William thought disgustedly.
It had to be Buffy’s fault. He couldn’t’ stop thinking about her since moving out. She was the culprit!
Yeah, that was so much easier to accept than the fact that he had sunk low enough to have fluent conversations with himself in the solitude of his apartment! To accept that meant he was really in trouble.
Walking to the fridge in his kitchen that was the size of a closet, William grabbed a cold beer. Popping the top he drank a good swallow and let the fizz and sensation enter his system. Taking his beer and a bag of peanuts to the stereo, William turned on some low rock. Grabbing his folder of poetry, he walked to the couch, resolved to read
over it again. He had to have it sound exactly right before sending it in. It was not going out of his hands until that moment. Not until the moment when he felt sure he had given it his all.
After reading halfway through the second stanza of A New Direction, William dropped the pages and said somberly, “I’m gone two weeks and still I can’t get you out of my head, Pet. This decision to give you space and time is killing me. I hope you are doing better than I am.” He looked at the black telephone sitting on the in table, such a great temptation to William to call Buffy and see how she was, himself. Standing, he said, “I have to stop this! Buffy is better off now that she has time to deal with what she wants.”
Just then a knock sounded on the door and William shook his head wishing he could ignore the rasping sound or shout Go away. Knowing those were out, he settled for a mumbled Bloody Hell and walked across his living room, to the front door. Checking out the peephole was habitual so he did.
Opening the door in surprise—dismal surprise—William eyed the redheaded young woman who went by the name of Willow Rosenberg and said, “Willow.”
Willow said politely, “Can I come in?”
Nodding, backing away, William said, “Sure.”
Willow stepped inside and turning to face William she said, “We need to talk.”
William said, “Okay.” He had a feeling it was not going to be a friendly conversation, but he said, “Want something to drink? I’ve got Pepsi and beer.”
Willow said, “Pepsi would be good.”
William nodded and walking back to the living room with one, handed it to Willow and said, “What’s going on?”
Willow looked at William and said, “It’s Buffy.”
William said lowly, “You stopped by here to talk about Buffy?”
Willow nodded and said glumly, “Yeah. I know it’s probably hard right now doing that, William. But it’s important.”
William said, “Well come in here then. I’ve been working on some stanza’s for my poetry submissions.”
Nodding, Willow said, “I understand. How is that going by the way?”
William shrugged modestly and said, “Pretty good. I’ve got this apartment rent paid for the next two months with utilities and cable with the first check. So I guess I can’t complain.”
Willow’s eyes got large as she said, “No, I guess not. Can I sit here?”
William took his jacket off the chair by the couch and said, “Go ahead.”
Willow took a seat and looking at William said, “Thanks.”
A pause…
William looked over at Willow when he noted she faltered from continuing, and seeing her nervous expression said, “Willow what is it? Is she in trouble?”
Shaking her head, hoping not, Willow said, “She’s not in trouble, so much, as closed in. She doesn’t go out anymore.”
William said, “She’s always been a loner, Willow, as long as I’ve known her.”
Nodding, Willow fought the initial defense mechanism that wanted to come out at hearing William trying to make this visit seem ridiculous. She reminded herself that he was hurting himself and this was painful for everyone, William included.
Willow continued, “But this is worse. She’s stopped slaying, all together. Giles is frantic, wondering why she doesn’t meet him at his place to practice anymore. She’s quit coming to the cemetery to patrol.”
William eyed Willow saying sympathetically, “I’m sorry, Willow.” What else could he say? He wouldn’t bring up personal things that they’d discussed about her slaying. He wanted her to do that, when she was ready. It was obvious now that she had chosen to quit slaying. Or to hide out and bloody dodge it.
Enraged, William said, “I knew she was slacking. But I had no idea it was this bad.”
Willow said, “Oh it’s worse than that. We all understand why you haven’t been showing, because of the breakup. But she is the slayer. We need her. She won’t leave her house, or call anyone. Not even me.” Willow added sadly, feeling her throat constrict with pain at feeling she was losing her friend.
Willow added, “I tried…her mom said she would be getting in touch, but that has been almost a week ago. She still hasn’t called back. I’m worried about her.”
Nodding, William said lowly, “I’ll see what I can do. I thought when I told her I was saying goodbye that she would go to Giles if she wanted to quit slaying. Not further into destruction.”
Willow said, “She’s hurt that you broke it off. I know that. Buffy loves you, William.”
William grabbed his black coat and said, “Look what’s come of that love. Willow I’m on this.”
Walking with him to the door, Willow said, “Thanks, William. Even if you can’t change what she’s doing, I appreciate your attempt. I’ll always see you as a friend.”
William hugged her and said, “Always. Now run along home. I’ll try and find her.” Somehow he thought he knew where she was. At home. Had his choice to leave been the best thing for Buffy…or the worst?
Buffy was reading a magazine when the doorbell rang. She hollered, “Mom! Door!” She had gotten back up when she couldn’t sleep anymore. She’d been sleeping so much that her hours were off.
Joyce hollered back from upstairs, “Can you get it sweetie? I’m detained up here with a client on the phone.”
Letting out a sigh of disgust at having to move off the couch, Buffy walked to the front door, yes, still in her pajamas. Checking her watch and seeing it was eleven at night, Buffy rolled her eyes and opened the door with a scowl on her face. She was prepared to have words with whomever thought it was a fine time of night to stop by.
The very last person Buffy expected to see on her doorstep just happened to be there. William said, “Hello Buffy.”
Stunned she said in a mumble, “William…”
She backed up and he walked inside. Shutting the door, she watched as he walked to her living room to have a seat. Shrugging her shoulders, she followed him in there, sluggish as ever.
Plopping on the chair, he on the couch, Buffy said, “What brings you by?”
William took a second or two to let his anger cool down, but still when he looked at her now, he felt enough remaining to say frankly, “What the hell are you doing?”
Jolted a bit, Buffy said, “What am I doing? It’s eleven at night. I’m reading a magazine and talking with you. What does it look like I’m doing?”
William let her cool words fuel his as he went on, “Pissing your life away.”
Buffy stated flatly now, some of her pride returning, “Just what right do you have coming into my house insulting me?”
William said, “What right do I have coming into your house? I’ll tell you what bleeding right I have.”
He paused and Buffy gave him a long look and said, “You were saying?”
William replied, “I guess you could say I have very little rights to come here. But a good friend of yours stopped by warning me you were letting yourself go to hell. I chose to take her seriously. Especially since it was Willow.”
Buffy’s ire moved to shock as she said, “Willow stopped by your apartment? Why? What right did she have doing that?”
William said, “Enough with the rights trip, Buffy. You’re evading.” Taking a long look at her at her rumpled clothes and her hair that was a complete mess, he added, “I hear you aren’t slaying anymore, so I gather you’ve let that go about the same time you let yourself go too.” Taking out a cigarette and lighting it, William said, “When I ended things, Buffy, I hoped you would make a decision and move on, productively, not wallow in your own pity…”
She snapped and said, “Listen to me, William. When you chose to walk out that front door, you stopped being able to tell me what to do, or how to do it.”
William said, “I never told you what to do or how while I lived here, Buffy. And I’m not telling you now.”
Buffy felt tears fall as she said, “I’m just so sick of everyone expecting me to be the cure all in Sunnydale. I want to be able to be me and have a life of my own.”
William said, “Well love I hate to say it, but they’re not banging down your door to get help now. From what Willow tells me they are slaying without you—they’re risking their bloody necks for it—but they are managing. What’s wrong by the way with being a slayer? You have a unique gift, Buffy, one that most people would love to have. You have everyone looking up to you, seeing you as a warrior, not expecting you to have all the answers, but believing in you because they know you can where they can’t.”
Buffy said, “Being the slayer has cost me friends, it has cost me a watcher in the past, college boyfriends…you…just the man I love and gave myself to. This gift you speak of gives me no room for anything but slaying. It’s not fair.”
William watched as Buffy covered her face and wept some more like a schoolgirl and couldn’t help the disgust that he felt. He stood and said, “So you don’t want to slay anymore, but you haven’t got the guts to tell anyone this. Fine. I’ll save you the bloody bother and tell them myself!”
He started for the door with Buffy soon on his heels. She said, “Wait!”
William turned at the door and waited.
Buffy stammered, “Giles is not going to believe you if you tell him I’ve quit slaying. He won’t unless it comes from me.”
William said directly, “So get dressed and come along then.”
Buffy knew he was waiting, but didn’t have the gumption to move. She hated that feeling, but it existed. So she said, “I can’t…”
William was clearly hurt, but masked it fast saying, “Fine. As I said before, I’ll handle it.” With that, William walked out the door, shutting it soundly as he went.
Joyce stood in the background watching as Buffy’s hand pounded on the door. She could no nothing but take in what she saw. Seeing it for what it was now, she knew this had to end, her being here to lean on so heavily. Goodness knew if William couldn’t break her, the man she loved most of all, then was there any hope that anything could? As long as she stayed in this realm of pity no, Joyce answered her thoughts. She wasn’t helping her. If anything she was hurting Buffy worse by babying her. It had to end.
Joyce heard a voice inside that told her what she had to do. Walking into the room, by the door, she looked at Buffy and as painful as it was she said, “Buffy I’ve made a decision. I’m going back to Maui, first thing in the morning.”
Buffy looked at her mom in horror it seemed and said, “What? Mom you can’t. I mean, you just got here. I thought Bridget was handling things.”
Joyce replied in zest, “Bridget is doing a remarkable job, that I’m sure of. But the center is mine, Buffy. It is my responsibility.” She leveled her eyes with Buffy and said, “Like it or not, we all have to face those, Buffy.”
Buffy said hurt, “You heard my conversation with William.”
Joyce said, “I did—part of it anyway.”
Buffy whined, “Then you had to see how big a jerk he was for coming over here, expecting me to just listen to his tirade.”
Joyce said, “I think he was right, Buffy. William loves you, he wouldn’t have stopped by here this time of night especially if he wasn’t concerned about how you were.”
Buffy said, “Willow went over there. She is the reason.”
Joyce crossed her hands over her chest and said, “And if you buy that being the only reason then you are just fooling yourself. William does what William wants to do. No one makes him. Anyway, enough on William. I’m not concerned about him, I know he is going to be fine. But honey you have to get back in the swing of living. This moping around the house, not doing a thing except watching TV and reading magazines is unhealthy. And your slaying…”
Buffy said, “I’m quitting slaying. William should be on his way over to Giles’s now informing him of this.”
Joyce said, “And you just let him go. In one move you just let him take that responsibility that should have been yours, being the slayer, and let him fix it for you so you didn’t have to.”
Buffy wasn’t prepared for that comment and so she jerked back in reaction. Hearing those words she just threw up her wall of protection and tried to be brave saying, “You don’t know what it’s like, you’ve never been a slayer.”
Joyce was strained and weary. She knew now that this was definitely the right move, for another week in this house and she would just tear into Buffy herself verbally. So she replied quietly, “Buffy…I’m tired…and I’m going to bed. You probably won’t see me in the morning, but I’ll call you when my flight makes it back to Maui.”
Buffy felt her mom’s hug and said, “Mom…I’m sorry…”
Joyce broke away and looking at her daughter said, “So am I, Buffy. I am truly sorry that things didn’t work out with you and William.”
Seeing Buffy’s wall that caused her look standoffish, Joyce added stronger for it, “But it is time to move on. Whatever you are wanting to do with your life, whether it is to keep working your job and retiring slaying or trying to decide about William, make that choice, but for pity’s sake, take a shower and get on with it.”
Joyce left Buffy alone in the room to deal with the combination of hearing her words and that of William’s. Reality settling in a little, Buffy looked at herself in the mirror above the fireplace. Shocked and embarrassed at what she saw with eyes that were aware of clarity, Buffy nearly wept again. But this time she wiped her stray tears aside and told herself stronger, “Life goes on.” She would talk with Giles, in the morning. She’d also apologize to Willow and the others. But thinking of how things were tonight with William, with how she acted, she didn’t think there was a chance at all of him being able to look at her without seeing her at her worst. The humiliation of him having to see her that way had her wondering if she could ever put herself in the position of him having to again…
"The truth is out there."
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angelrose242000
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A Love She Couldn’t Deny
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Thirteen—The Morning After
Buffy dressed in her blue jeans and her sky blue tank top—her favorite shirt. Slipping into sandals, she pulled her golden hair back into a low ponytail. She grabbed her white purse and her car keys and walked out of the house, locking it behind her. She had places to go to and things to accomplish.
Stepping outside, Buffy realized this was the first time she had come out of there with her hair fully clean and her clothes fresh in too long to count. She tried to push those thoughts away as she walked determinedly to her Miata. Everyone went through bad times, Buffy thought. The important thing was she was moving on.
Mom had left early this morning for Maui before Buffy could catch her, but she had left a note that told her she could call her at any time. Buffy remembered smiling and saying I love you, mom. She expected to hear from mom sometime this afternoon, saying she made it home all right. Buffy would think of her mom throughout the day, she knew, until she called. She carried her cell phone and mom knew it and would call there if Buffy didn’t answer at home.
Stepping into the car in shades, swinging the door shut, Buffy took a second to look in the rearview mirror at herself. This was it, she told herself. She was going to face Giles and stop by Willow’s afterward. To face the day again was something by itself. Buffy rolled her window down, letting the nice warm breeze blow in at her every so often as she drove down the street.
Buffy pulled into Giles’s driveway, less than ten minutes later. Buffy parked and opened her car door. Taking her shades off, Buffy started up the walk. She was nervous of what he would say, but she knew she had to face it. Giles’s house was like another house for her, Buffy knew. She had lived here as much as she had in mom’s. Fighting, training, sweating, crying, arguing with her watcher. All the things that made me into a hell of a slayer for ten years, Buffy thought, then dismissed it fast. She wasn’t here to feel nostalgic, but to tell Giles she was done with it all. She was. Ten years was enough.
All Buffy had to do was remember a year’s worth of the pain of being a slayer and it became easier to knock on his front door.
Giles opened the door and merely stood, staring at Buffy for a second or two. He was dressed sporting an apron over slacks and a Sunnydale T-Shirt—apparently cooking breakfast, Buffy thought.
She said, “Hello, Giles.”
Giles wiped his hands on his apron and said, “Buffy! Come in, come in.” He was eager and excited to finally see her.
Buffy walked inside and shut the door behind her. She turned to Giles and said with a grin, “You’ve been cooking.”
Giles grinned back and turning his wrist said, “It’s eight-thirty. Breakfast time. You hungry?”
Her stomach growling, Buffy couldn’t deny her hunger so she said, “Here lately yes. Normally I push past breakfast. What are you fixing?” Then as they walked in toward the kitchen and the wonderful smells hit her nose, Buffy said with glee, “Bacon! You are cruel and must be destroyed, Giles.”
Giles chuckled and said, “Good to have you back, Buffy. Take a seat at the table. I’ll dish you up some of it.”
Buffy sat and awaited her crunchy goodness. Eyeing Giles, she said, “So I hear that you and the gang have been having it hard with me gone. Anyone get hurt?”
Giles said, “We got close a time or two, but so far everyone’s fine. I hear that you weren’t doing so well though.”
Buffy slumped some before she could fight it and said, “No…I wasn’t.” Looking up and forcing a smile to hide it, she said, “I call it my Sofa Days. I let myself become one with the sofa and the chips became my new best friends.” Realizing what she said, Buffy finished, “They were a poor substitute. All I did was manage to gain five pounds…mom thought I was losing weight but I was actually gaining more than losing.” Buffy recalled something else she managed to get from that experience—nasty dandruff. She had to wash her hair three times to get it back to what she could accept.
The mere thought of it had her cringing inside!
Giles set the food in front of Buffy and reaching a break from eating a bite, he said, “Well as you know I am not one to hide things from you, Buffy, so I must tell you I received a visitor last night.”
Knowing who he meant, Buffy let the bite of yummy bacon go down before saying, “More like a messenger. I sent him.”
Surprised, Giles said, “Really?”
Nodding, Buffy said, “I was still going through the motions and didn’t want to face you yet, Giles. William came by and shook me up. He seems to be good at doing that, in one way or another.” She pushed at her longish bangs and said, “He took the responsibility upon himself so I didn’t have to.” Dropping her fork, unable to hold it or what she was feeling inside her anymore, Buffy said with a choked voice, “Because even at my worst, he cared about me enough to think of me, to help me out.”
Giles wished he hadn’t asked, seeing how it hurt her, but since they were here, he continued gently, “Well Buffy he never once told me you forced him to come over here.”
Buffy said solemnly, “He probably said how terrible I looked. How disgusted he was seeing me like that.”
Shaking his head, Giles touched Buffy’s hand like a dad would and said, “Not at all.”
Buffy was upset so her words came out erratically. She wiped tears and said, “He probably wishes he’d picked door number two in London. Seeing what a disappointment I have become, I would have regrets if I were him.”
Giles said, “I don’t know what you are meaning, this door number two business, but I’m guessing it isn’t very positive, so I am not going to comment further on it. We’re human beings, Buffy, all of us. We let each other down, ourselves most of all sometimes.” Letting that sink in, Giles added, “William didn’t come over here last night to put you down, Buffy. I rather think he came by to do as you say, and help you out. He’s worried about you, Buffy. If you’d seen the way that he spoke of you, the way he looked when he did, you wouldn’t be able to sit there like that, feeling such doubts about his devotion. It would be clear to you.”
Buffy wiped more tears and said, “What did he say, Giles, exactly?”
Giles said, “Buffy you know it isn’t right to ask me to breech the things he told me as a friend.”
Nodding, Buffy said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. I just…I miss him, Giles. I was so confused and messed up thinking I had to either be a slayer or a girlfriend…that I couldn’t have both and be happy…that I became wild. I became someone I wasn’t. But now, looking back, I see that it was stupid to think I couldn’t have both. I can see being married to William and being a slayer.”
Giles said, “I can see it too. It would be challenging, but you are a gal who likes a challenge, Buffy. You thrive on them.”
Nodding, Buffy said, “I do. But I’m not sure I can fight enough to work through the one that leads me back to William.”
Giles said, “I think it is possible. He still loves you, Buffy.”
Buffy said, “You think he still could love me? After what I asked him to do, to call my slaying off like that? To subject you all to such risks?”
Giles said, “Why don’t you stop by his place on your way home and ask him?”
Buffy grinned and eating another bite of her bacon, she said, “I think I will.”
Giles said, “So you are still the slayer, huh?”
Buffy held his eyes and said, “I was born a slayer. I just got lost for awhile.”
Giles said, “We all get lost sometimes.”
At his front door, moments later, Buffy turned to Giles and said, “So when do we practice?”
Grinning, proud and thankful to have a slayer back again, and to know that Buffy was going to be all right, Giles said, “I think you have some things to work out today. How about tomorrow after work?”
Thinking about work, Buffy grimaced at working all day then practicing hours into the night, then smiling, she said, “Seven okay?”
Giles reached out and hugged Buffy saying, “Welcome back, Buffy.”
Later that day, after talking with Willow, then Xander and Anya, patching things up with her best friends, Buffy drove over to William’s apartment. She could hear music as she neared his apartment, 12b, on the second floor.
Smiling, she heard the familiar chords of Soul Asyllum’s Homesick. Then it sunk it that it could be her that he was homesick about…and how homesick she had been for him. When that registered she felt glum and had to work hard to overcome those dangerously tempting feelings of sadness.
She had thought of knocking, but somehow she didn’t think he’d hear over his surround stereo he must have bought soon after moving in. So she tested the knob and seeing it was unlocked—odd as it was—she opened the door. He was daring like that, she thought with a grin. Or he used to be.
Opening the door, Buffy stepped into the foyer of his apartment. She looked around at the walls, they were pretty bare except for a few pictures he must have liked. They were brooding and bizarre, the colors displaying different moods, some loud, others quiet.
Buffy had seen both sides of the man that chose them. He was daring, he was a royal pain, he was passionate and sensitive; he was all she could ever want or need.
The sounds of music blaring, Buffy walked down the hall, glancing at the kitchen that was lit by sunlight and was very small, but cute. To her right was the hallway that led to the bedroom and bathroom. Up ahead, where she walked, Buffy heard his voice as he recited his poetry, out loud, as if testing it to see how it sounded.
Buffy stayed out of eyesight and watched. She watched as he stood there in his living room, holding white sheets carrying words from his heart, from his soul, and she listened…
‘He cries out to no one in particular…yet he knows of whom he speaks. He sees her in his mind, in the part of himself he can’t control, he can’t fight—she resides so clearly in the memories he can’t release.’
William sat back down to read it again for editing purposes.
Buffy had never spoken poetry in her life, but she figured there was a first time for everything. So she said…
‘She sits alone and wonders, will he ever know that she thinks of him? Even as she fights to move on with her life, thoughts of him still enter her mind, cascading thoughts and feelings, memories of her own that she plays again and again like a tape on a virtual rewind.
She sits alone thinking it is so painful, this wretchedness, this vision she can’t forget of him--Does he know just how many nights she lay awake wondering how she could turn down the love he offered? That she regrets him having to walk away, but worse him having to see her in the darkness of her life, when things didn’t make sense—
Looking at William who was watching her now emotionally, Buffy finished,
She sits alone questioning how on earth she could ever expect him to still care—even as she hopes he will.
Catching his grin, Buffy grinned with him and said, “So I wasn’t born with the gift of writing poetry…”
William looked at Buffy, seeing how much better she looked, how she literally shone, and said, “We all have our things that make us who we are, Buffy. You look good.”
Smiling, rolling her eyes a little for effect, Buffy said, “In comparison to what I was, you mean?”
William grinned and said, “You mean the Garfield look?”
Buffy grinned back and said, “He’s cool…when I’m not wearing him every day for a solid week. Then he becomes a part of me.”
William thought he’d see what she said by saying, “I thought they were cute pajamas. I might get a pair myself.”
Buffy folded her arms over her chest and said with a sly look, “You do it and I get to bring the camera for snapshots.”
William said backing up on that idea as he didn’t want to see himself around Buffy’s house in Garfield pajamas—the Scooby guys would never let him live it down—neither would Willow or Anya for that matter, William thought. “Maybe I’ll wait on it for now. Have a seat.”
Buffy agreed and sitting across from him, she said, “I didn’t sleep well after you left last night.”
William said, “About that, I am sorry, Buffy. It wasn’t right of me to come at you like that.”
Buffy said, “Yes it was. I needed to hear someone tell me that I was being selfish. It helped me, William, to wake up. To see that I was using my friends and my loved ones because I couldn’t face…because I couldn’t fathom…life without you. Thank you.”
William wanted so bad to reach out to Buffy, but instead said steadfastly, “You’re welcome, love. I don’t believe I did much.”
Buffy smiled at him and said, “No, you wouldn’t. It is just another thing about you that makes me….” Buffy knew she was near to saying she still loved him and she didn’t think she could handle hearing his rejection. So she stood and said, “I…I appreciate you going to Giles.”
Standing with her, William said, “So you went to Giles.”
Nodding, Buffy said, “First thing this morning.”
William asked the question he dreaded hearing, “Did you tell him you quit?”
Forcing seriousness into her voice when she wanted to smile and thank him for that too, Buffy said, “Yeah. I did.”
William accepted what he heard, hard as it was, and said kindly, “So what are you going to do now that you’re free of slaying?”
Buffy walked to his patio that had the sun coming in so strong, so bright, and she said, “I’m not.” Turning to William she said, “I’m not going to do anything.”
William eyed her queerly saying, “You’re losing me Buffy.”
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and said with pride in her voice, “My decision has already been made so I don’t have to do anything more. You see I came to realize that I am the damn slayer and no one is going to take that from me, until I’ve proven I can’t do it anymore. I can have what I want and still be a fighter, still keep my identity.” Taking a deep breath, Buffy added, “Part of that discovery is that I can love someone and still slay. I can have both. If the man I love doesn’t mind me having both in my life that is. If he marries me he will have to accept that I will be slaying a good part of the time and probably not always at my best when I’m at home. I’m going to be tired and until I shower I’ll most definitely stink really badly.”
William walked closer to her. He said, “Love I accepted that part of you long before I ever fell for you. I knew when I decided to date the slayer I was taking on a tough case, but I’m not one who likes things just handed to me. You keep me forever challenged.”
Buffy smiled up at him, welcoming him pulling her into his arms. She replied, “Then ask me again.”
Laughing, William said, “I’m getting to it, love.”
Laughing with him Buffy said, “Come on, come on, come on!”
Picking her up, William said, “Short and sweet. Buffy I love you. Marry me.”
Buffy felt her heart expanding with love as she said, “Yes. I’ll marry you, William.”
William leaned down and kissed Buffy firmly on the mouth. The kiss intensified as it always did they kissed, eventually leading them to the bedroom.
William took her to his bedroom and lay her on his mattress. Loving her sweetly while the sun beat down upon them that sunny morning, William showed Buffy how much he still cared, how much love was in him for her. Buffy accepted his love, sharing hers in return.
TBC…Part Fourteen—The Announcement to come soon!
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Thirteen—The Morning After
Buffy dressed in her blue jeans and her sky blue tank top—her favorite shirt. Slipping into sandals, she pulled her golden hair back into a low ponytail. She grabbed her white purse and her car keys and walked out of the house, locking it behind her. She had places to go to and things to accomplish.
Stepping outside, Buffy realized this was the first time she had come out of there with her hair fully clean and her clothes fresh in too long to count. She tried to push those thoughts away as she walked determinedly to her Miata. Everyone went through bad times, Buffy thought. The important thing was she was moving on.
Mom had left early this morning for Maui before Buffy could catch her, but she had left a note that told her she could call her at any time. Buffy remembered smiling and saying I love you, mom. She expected to hear from mom sometime this afternoon, saying she made it home all right. Buffy would think of her mom throughout the day, she knew, until she called. She carried her cell phone and mom knew it and would call there if Buffy didn’t answer at home.
Stepping into the car in shades, swinging the door shut, Buffy took a second to look in the rearview mirror at herself. This was it, she told herself. She was going to face Giles and stop by Willow’s afterward. To face the day again was something by itself. Buffy rolled her window down, letting the nice warm breeze blow in at her every so often as she drove down the street.
Buffy pulled into Giles’s driveway, less than ten minutes later. Buffy parked and opened her car door. Taking her shades off, Buffy started up the walk. She was nervous of what he would say, but she knew she had to face it. Giles’s house was like another house for her, Buffy knew. She had lived here as much as she had in mom’s. Fighting, training, sweating, crying, arguing with her watcher. All the things that made me into a hell of a slayer for ten years, Buffy thought, then dismissed it fast. She wasn’t here to feel nostalgic, but to tell Giles she was done with it all. She was. Ten years was enough.
All Buffy had to do was remember a year’s worth of the pain of being a slayer and it became easier to knock on his front door.
Giles opened the door and merely stood, staring at Buffy for a second or two. He was dressed sporting an apron over slacks and a Sunnydale T-Shirt—apparently cooking breakfast, Buffy thought.
She said, “Hello, Giles.”
Giles wiped his hands on his apron and said, “Buffy! Come in, come in.” He was eager and excited to finally see her.
Buffy walked inside and shut the door behind her. She turned to Giles and said with a grin, “You’ve been cooking.”
Giles grinned back and turning his wrist said, “It’s eight-thirty. Breakfast time. You hungry?”
Her stomach growling, Buffy couldn’t deny her hunger so she said, “Here lately yes. Normally I push past breakfast. What are you fixing?” Then as they walked in toward the kitchen and the wonderful smells hit her nose, Buffy said with glee, “Bacon! You are cruel and must be destroyed, Giles.”
Giles chuckled and said, “Good to have you back, Buffy. Take a seat at the table. I’ll dish you up some of it.”
Buffy sat and awaited her crunchy goodness. Eyeing Giles, she said, “So I hear that you and the gang have been having it hard with me gone. Anyone get hurt?”
Giles said, “We got close a time or two, but so far everyone’s fine. I hear that you weren’t doing so well though.”
Buffy slumped some before she could fight it and said, “No…I wasn’t.” Looking up and forcing a smile to hide it, she said, “I call it my Sofa Days. I let myself become one with the sofa and the chips became my new best friends.” Realizing what she said, Buffy finished, “They were a poor substitute. All I did was manage to gain five pounds…mom thought I was losing weight but I was actually gaining more than losing.” Buffy recalled something else she managed to get from that experience—nasty dandruff. She had to wash her hair three times to get it back to what she could accept.
The mere thought of it had her cringing inside!
Giles set the food in front of Buffy and reaching a break from eating a bite, he said, “Well as you know I am not one to hide things from you, Buffy, so I must tell you I received a visitor last night.”
Knowing who he meant, Buffy let the bite of yummy bacon go down before saying, “More like a messenger. I sent him.”
Surprised, Giles said, “Really?”
Nodding, Buffy said, “I was still going through the motions and didn’t want to face you yet, Giles. William came by and shook me up. He seems to be good at doing that, in one way or another.” She pushed at her longish bangs and said, “He took the responsibility upon himself so I didn’t have to.” Dropping her fork, unable to hold it or what she was feeling inside her anymore, Buffy said with a choked voice, “Because even at my worst, he cared about me enough to think of me, to help me out.”
Giles wished he hadn’t asked, seeing how it hurt her, but since they were here, he continued gently, “Well Buffy he never once told me you forced him to come over here.”
Buffy said solemnly, “He probably said how terrible I looked. How disgusted he was seeing me like that.”
Shaking his head, Giles touched Buffy’s hand like a dad would and said, “Not at all.”
Buffy was upset so her words came out erratically. She wiped tears and said, “He probably wishes he’d picked door number two in London. Seeing what a disappointment I have become, I would have regrets if I were him.”
Giles said, “I don’t know what you are meaning, this door number two business, but I’m guessing it isn’t very positive, so I am not going to comment further on it. We’re human beings, Buffy, all of us. We let each other down, ourselves most of all sometimes.” Letting that sink in, Giles added, “William didn’t come over here last night to put you down, Buffy. I rather think he came by to do as you say, and help you out. He’s worried about you, Buffy. If you’d seen the way that he spoke of you, the way he looked when he did, you wouldn’t be able to sit there like that, feeling such doubts about his devotion. It would be clear to you.”
Buffy wiped more tears and said, “What did he say, Giles, exactly?”
Giles said, “Buffy you know it isn’t right to ask me to breech the things he told me as a friend.”
Nodding, Buffy said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. I just…I miss him, Giles. I was so confused and messed up thinking I had to either be a slayer or a girlfriend…that I couldn’t have both and be happy…that I became wild. I became someone I wasn’t. But now, looking back, I see that it was stupid to think I couldn’t have both. I can see being married to William and being a slayer.”
Giles said, “I can see it too. It would be challenging, but you are a gal who likes a challenge, Buffy. You thrive on them.”
Nodding, Buffy said, “I do. But I’m not sure I can fight enough to work through the one that leads me back to William.”
Giles said, “I think it is possible. He still loves you, Buffy.”
Buffy said, “You think he still could love me? After what I asked him to do, to call my slaying off like that? To subject you all to such risks?”
Giles said, “Why don’t you stop by his place on your way home and ask him?”
Buffy grinned and eating another bite of her bacon, she said, “I think I will.”
Giles said, “So you are still the slayer, huh?”
Buffy held his eyes and said, “I was born a slayer. I just got lost for awhile.”
Giles said, “We all get lost sometimes.”
At his front door, moments later, Buffy turned to Giles and said, “So when do we practice?”
Grinning, proud and thankful to have a slayer back again, and to know that Buffy was going to be all right, Giles said, “I think you have some things to work out today. How about tomorrow after work?”
Thinking about work, Buffy grimaced at working all day then practicing hours into the night, then smiling, she said, “Seven okay?”
Giles reached out and hugged Buffy saying, “Welcome back, Buffy.”
Later that day, after talking with Willow, then Xander and Anya, patching things up with her best friends, Buffy drove over to William’s apartment. She could hear music as she neared his apartment, 12b, on the second floor.
Smiling, she heard the familiar chords of Soul Asyllum’s Homesick. Then it sunk it that it could be her that he was homesick about…and how homesick she had been for him. When that registered she felt glum and had to work hard to overcome those dangerously tempting feelings of sadness.
She had thought of knocking, but somehow she didn’t think he’d hear over his surround stereo he must have bought soon after moving in. So she tested the knob and seeing it was unlocked—odd as it was—she opened the door. He was daring like that, she thought with a grin. Or he used to be.
Opening the door, Buffy stepped into the foyer of his apartment. She looked around at the walls, they were pretty bare except for a few pictures he must have liked. They were brooding and bizarre, the colors displaying different moods, some loud, others quiet.
Buffy had seen both sides of the man that chose them. He was daring, he was a royal pain, he was passionate and sensitive; he was all she could ever want or need.
The sounds of music blaring, Buffy walked down the hall, glancing at the kitchen that was lit by sunlight and was very small, but cute. To her right was the hallway that led to the bedroom and bathroom. Up ahead, where she walked, Buffy heard his voice as he recited his poetry, out loud, as if testing it to see how it sounded.
Buffy stayed out of eyesight and watched. She watched as he stood there in his living room, holding white sheets carrying words from his heart, from his soul, and she listened…
‘He cries out to no one in particular…yet he knows of whom he speaks. He sees her in his mind, in the part of himself he can’t control, he can’t fight—she resides so clearly in the memories he can’t release.’
William sat back down to read it again for editing purposes.
Buffy had never spoken poetry in her life, but she figured there was a first time for everything. So she said…
‘She sits alone and wonders, will he ever know that she thinks of him? Even as she fights to move on with her life, thoughts of him still enter her mind, cascading thoughts and feelings, memories of her own that she plays again and again like a tape on a virtual rewind.
She sits alone thinking it is so painful, this wretchedness, this vision she can’t forget of him--Does he know just how many nights she lay awake wondering how she could turn down the love he offered? That she regrets him having to walk away, but worse him having to see her in the darkness of her life, when things didn’t make sense—
Looking at William who was watching her now emotionally, Buffy finished,
She sits alone questioning how on earth she could ever expect him to still care—even as she hopes he will.
Catching his grin, Buffy grinned with him and said, “So I wasn’t born with the gift of writing poetry…”
William looked at Buffy, seeing how much better she looked, how she literally shone, and said, “We all have our things that make us who we are, Buffy. You look good.”
Smiling, rolling her eyes a little for effect, Buffy said, “In comparison to what I was, you mean?”
William grinned and said, “You mean the Garfield look?”
Buffy grinned back and said, “He’s cool…when I’m not wearing him every day for a solid week. Then he becomes a part of me.”
William thought he’d see what she said by saying, “I thought they were cute pajamas. I might get a pair myself.”
Buffy folded her arms over her chest and said with a sly look, “You do it and I get to bring the camera for snapshots.”
William said backing up on that idea as he didn’t want to see himself around Buffy’s house in Garfield pajamas—the Scooby guys would never let him live it down—neither would Willow or Anya for that matter, William thought. “Maybe I’ll wait on it for now. Have a seat.”
Buffy agreed and sitting across from him, she said, “I didn’t sleep well after you left last night.”
William said, “About that, I am sorry, Buffy. It wasn’t right of me to come at you like that.”
Buffy said, “Yes it was. I needed to hear someone tell me that I was being selfish. It helped me, William, to wake up. To see that I was using my friends and my loved ones because I couldn’t face…because I couldn’t fathom…life without you. Thank you.”
William wanted so bad to reach out to Buffy, but instead said steadfastly, “You’re welcome, love. I don’t believe I did much.”
Buffy smiled at him and said, “No, you wouldn’t. It is just another thing about you that makes me….” Buffy knew she was near to saying she still loved him and she didn’t think she could handle hearing his rejection. So she stood and said, “I…I appreciate you going to Giles.”
Standing with her, William said, “So you went to Giles.”
Nodding, Buffy said, “First thing this morning.”
William asked the question he dreaded hearing, “Did you tell him you quit?”
Forcing seriousness into her voice when she wanted to smile and thank him for that too, Buffy said, “Yeah. I did.”
William accepted what he heard, hard as it was, and said kindly, “So what are you going to do now that you’re free of slaying?”
Buffy walked to his patio that had the sun coming in so strong, so bright, and she said, “I’m not.” Turning to William she said, “I’m not going to do anything.”
William eyed her queerly saying, “You’re losing me Buffy.”
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and said with pride in her voice, “My decision has already been made so I don’t have to do anything more. You see I came to realize that I am the damn slayer and no one is going to take that from me, until I’ve proven I can’t do it anymore. I can have what I want and still be a fighter, still keep my identity.” Taking a deep breath, Buffy added, “Part of that discovery is that I can love someone and still slay. I can have both. If the man I love doesn’t mind me having both in my life that is. If he marries me he will have to accept that I will be slaying a good part of the time and probably not always at my best when I’m at home. I’m going to be tired and until I shower I’ll most definitely stink really badly.”
William walked closer to her. He said, “Love I accepted that part of you long before I ever fell for you. I knew when I decided to date the slayer I was taking on a tough case, but I’m not one who likes things just handed to me. You keep me forever challenged.”
Buffy smiled up at him, welcoming him pulling her into his arms. She replied, “Then ask me again.”
Laughing, William said, “I’m getting to it, love.”
Laughing with him Buffy said, “Come on, come on, come on!”
Picking her up, William said, “Short and sweet. Buffy I love you. Marry me.”
Buffy felt her heart expanding with love as she said, “Yes. I’ll marry you, William.”
William leaned down and kissed Buffy firmly on the mouth. The kiss intensified as it always did they kissed, eventually leading them to the bedroom.
William took her to his bedroom and lay her on his mattress. Loving her sweetly while the sun beat down upon them that sunny morning, William showed Buffy how much he still cared, how much love was in him for her. Buffy accepted his love, sharing hers in return.
TBC…Part Fourteen—The Announcement to come soon!
"The truth is out there."
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angelrose242000
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A Love She Couldn’t Deny
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Fourteen—The Announcement
Friday, July 6, 2009
Buffy and William drove to the Bronze the following Friday night. William opened the door to the nightclub and held it for Buffy as she walked in. To the onlooker they made an impression, the tall sandy brown-headed sexy mystery man who dressed in black slacks and a black shirt. Beside him, his girl who wore matching black leather pants and a black tank top with a recently purchased leather jacket. Her hair in an upsweep, clipped to get it off her neck, out of her way. Small silver earrings dangled from her ears. Black spiked heels on her feet, making her level with William’s six-foot height. They casually walked down the stairs and on into the loud, raucous dimly lit room.
Willow was dancing with Ethan when she noted the newcomers. She looked up at Ethan and said, “Ethan, look. Here comes Buffy…and William…hmmm.”
Ethan grinned wickedly at them and said, “Glad to see them back as a couple.” Yeah, he thought, the bachelor party dream was shot to hell that night when she said she couldn’t marry him. Possibilities ran through his mind and he continued to grin and dance with Willow. He added, “Maybe we can have a double bachelor party.” Willow said, “Ethan! We don’t know what has happened…but you will still have your party. I don’t like those things though. I think they are barbaric.”
Ethan looked at Willow, his fiancée and love, and said, “Just remember that when you are watching that stripper that I’m banking on Anya hiring.”
Blushing, Willow said, “I thought that was a secret.”
Laughing, Ethan hugged Willow and then kissed her sweetly saying, “It’s ours, Will. I won’t say a word to Anya.” She kissed him back and continued to dance, so thankful and happy to have Ethan, to know that in six months they’d be married. It was so close and both were ready to say I do….
William and Buffy moved in the crowd that danced to Vixen’s Edge of a Broken Heart, without really listening, their thoughts on finding Giles and the others. They had an announcement to make.
The place was so packed tonight that it was soon impossible to track them all down. They’d seen Willow and Ethan and said hi, but so far no Anya, no Xander, and no Giles. So William looked at Buffy and said with a smile, “Want to dance, Buffy?”
Taking his hand, Buffy said, “Sure. I’d love to.”
They walked in the midst of the crowd and danced to the slow song that was playing off of one of the Cure’s latest CD’s. The singers that were hired for tonight must have gone on a break of sorts, Buffy thought. She didn’t mind, however, as the music was nice and she accepted William’s warm arms around her waist. Leaning her head on his shoulder she moved slowly with him, feeling his body brushing against hers. It was romantic. It was wonderful.
Until…Xander and Anya hurried over from nowhere it seemed. Xander said, “Hey guys.”
Buffy broke from the dance and hugging her friends, both Xander and Anya, she said, “What’s going on?”
Xander said, “Trouble, at the site. Giles said to come get you ASAP.”
Buffy looked up at William and said, “Ready to get into fighting mode?”
William said, “Are you kidding? I’ve waited all night for it. Come on.”
Soon Willow and Ethan were joined in and the six left the Bronze…and headed to the cemetery….
Grabbing her tennis shoes from William’s firebird or as he liked to call it, his bad ride, Buffy changed fast on the way over, talking all the while to the group who sat in the back. “You think that Giles can hold his own while we are on route?”
Xander said, “I think so. I mean he had steaks with him and you know, Buffy, that he is trained enough to fight if he has to.”
Buffy just hoped he wasn’t bombarded with too many against him. She looked at William and he shared her concerned expression. He picked up speed by twenty miles an hour, daring the joke of a police team of Sunnydale to stop them.
They parked at the cemetery less than ten minutes later. Giles being the top priority tonight, the Scoobies, the slayer and William climbed out the double doors as fast as they could. Worrying about petty things like feet being stepped on to get there, being pushed somewhat to find out what was ahead were kindly overlooked. Considering it a part of the job years ago when this began in Sunnydale with Buffy, no one thought anything about it as he or she headed across the courtyard. Buffy handed out steaks to each of them and said, “Stick by William and me. Don’t start on your own, we don’t know what we’re up against.”
Xander said, “Whatever it is we’re up against it got me from my a quiet evening with Anya, so I’m ready to fight back.”
Anya said, “Xander…”
The others laughed over this with them and Willow said, “Yeah! I mean I didn’t like our date being ruined either. Ethan and I were having fun, dancing.” Ethan took a second from the watch to pull Willow to him for a private kiss—then they took position again with steaks in hands, highly aimed to attack at sight.
William turned and said with a grin, “You guys might want to lower those somewhat. You’ll make it too easy to have them stolen and used on us.”
Ethan said, “I hadn’t thought of that.” Willow added, “Sorry.” Anya and Xander lowered theirs too and the four followed closely behind Buffy and William, looking for signs of Giles. So far he was nowhere to be seen. That wasn’t a good sign. That meant he could be held somewhere that they would have to search around for him, stepping into the vamps or demons lairs.
William noted Buffy’s nervousness, her fears and said, “He’s going to be okay, Buffy. We’ll find him.”
Buffy looked up at William and said, “I hope so.”
Twenty minutes later and still no Giles…
Buffy looked at William once alone and said, “We’ve been here long enough we should have seen him.” The others were on the look out still.
William said, “I agree it has been a long time, but that doesn’t mean he’s hurt, Buffy. I won’t lie; he’s probably in one of their dens. While the scoobies continue their search we can start at my old hangouts.” He added that part in disgust.
Buffy touched his face and said, “Which will be a tremendous help to us, William. No one looks at you in the same way as those cretins.”
Nodding, William said, “I know it. It’s the idea of having to face the fact that I do know of them. Right now, though what is important is Giles. So let’s go.”
Nodding, Buffy walked with William toward the low spots of Sunnydale. They were gone a solid hour, but Giles was still a mystery.
Finally, Buffy said, “We’ll get someone that does know.” She found the go-between guppy, Qwerty who stayed in alleys mostly, but was a help when persuaded. At the sight of him, William wanted to revolt. This was what they had come to? Not that he was a snob, but this guy was as good as worthless. Or he figured he would be anyway.
Buffy said, “Hello Qwerty.”
Qwerty looked up at Buffy and his dirty face became blanched with fear. His cockiness that he showed most people, gone whenever he saw the slayer. She could kick his butt and had more than once. He said, “Slayer. Just what brings you to this side of town? I don’t know anything if you’re trucking over here for information.”
Buffy honed in on him and said, “Really? Well I like to think that I can get information—from you. Now tell me what I want to know.” She shoved him up against the wall and said, “Besides the fact that you were really a woman before your sex change that is.”
William moved forward and said under his breath with a chuckle that only Buffy heard, “Somehow I think the operation was unsuccessful. He still squeals like a girl.”
Qwerty fought back until he noticed his oxygen being cut short and then he said, “What is it you’re wanting, girlie?”
Buffy said, “Rupert Giles. Where is he?”
Qwerty said with a dry laugh, “That stuffy Englishman is no concern of mine.”
Cutting his pipes more with her hand to his throat, Buffy said, “I think he should be, if you know what’s good for you.”
William said, “Buffy, you know I don’t get in the way of your slaying, but if you cut him off totally he won’t be able to confess anything.”
Realizing she was taking her chance away of finding out where Giles was, she pulled her hand back some. Still holding him in place so he couldn’t squirm off, she said, “Talk, Qwerty.”
Qwerty said, “You haven’t much time, but he is at the old Baylor Warehouse on Parkenson Avenue. Lex has him.”
Rolling her eyes, Buffy said, “Lexington the vampire?”
Reaching Qwerty’s nod, she looked at William and met disgust from him too. She said, “I guess now that we know where he is, we can go.” Turning to Qwerty she added, “You were such a big help. As always.”
Turning to William she added, “I’ll be outside.” She grinned as she left, giving William full reign to beat the shit out of him if he so chose….
As Buffy waited outside in the night, she could hear Qwerty’s voice—he did squeal like a girl! Buffy let herself have a grand old laugh…
Meeting the gang on the way, Buffy filled them in on what she found out from Qwerty. The six moved quickly to the warehouse. At the door, Buffy turned to them and said, “Okay gang, this is the plan. William and I go inside first. We are what they’d want anyway. Xander, Ethan, you get the girls home. Stand guard with them until we can bring Giles back.”
Xander caught this and shook his head saying, “No, Buffy. We work together on this. Like you said earlier we don’t know how many we are up against.”
Buffy said dryly, “Somehow I’m not worried anymore, speaking with Qwerty tonight.”
Ethan said, “But you have no idea what’s inside that building.”
William said, “Whatever it is, we’ll handle it. Buffy’s a tough slayer. The strongest I’ve ever known. If Rupert’s in there, she’ll bloody well get him out.”
She smiled up at him and said, “Thanks.”
William let himself soften for a moment and reaching for Buffy kissed her. He said, “It’s the truth, love.”
Willow said, “Oh that is so sweet. Ethan don’t you think that is sweet?”
Ethan gave Willow a strange look, then smiled and said, “Sure, babe. It’s sweet.” Looking at Buffy then at William, Ethan felt sure they were right. So did the others.
It didn’t take long before the slayer plan was carried out.
Alone, Buffy looked at William and said, “I feel better knowing they are at home. Thank you, Spike.”
He nodded and said, “You’re welcome, love. Let’s break into their little party, shall we?”
Nodding, Buffy said, “Let’s.”
Moving into the building with steaks and other equipment from William’s car, including cross bows and swords that he held in his overcoat, the two warriors headed inside.
Initially it looked deserted—it stunk like crazy, but the walls were vacant, as were the floors. The color of the inside was drab and gray, like it hadn’t been painted or done anything positive with in decades.
Buffy shrugged, not wanting to concern herself with it. She went with instincts as did William and both knew there was something in the room at the end of the hall. Possibly the vamp they were after, his vamp buddies, and their hostage--Giles. Buffy’s fears were gaining on her, becoming monsters in her heart as she thought of the possibility of Giles being tormented, beaten, cut up, or worse yet, killed. They were cold-blooded creatures with nothing keeping them from having a blast and poor Giles being their past time of the night.
Hearing his voice, Buffy and William said at the same time, “Come on.” They were linked so tightly that the other could tell when danger was nearby. It came with being what they were.
At the door, William looked at Buffy as he had countless other times and said, “You know the deal. If something happens to me in there and you’re outnumbered, don’t try to save me, get the hell out, Buffy.” Having heard this enough, Buffy wasn’t mad hearing it now. She nodded, but knew in her heart that if something did happen to William in there, he would be a priority too. She wouldn’t just leave him in there to be dissected and finished off brutally.
Buffy reached for William’s jacket, encouraging him to face her. When he did, she looked into his blue eyes and said, “I love you.”
William said, “I love you too, Buffy.” On impulse, William picked Buffy up by the hips and bracing her where he could hold her securely, he kissed her. She kissed him back passionately. When the kiss ended, Buffy was back on her feet, they burst into the room ready to send them all to their graves, a second time….
Barging in, William and Buffy saw the place was full of candles and yuck, but also full of vampires and other varieties of demons. The leader, Lex, glared at them and said, “Well, well, well. It looks like we have our slayer, fellas. Not only that, but we have a turncoat as well. Hell of a night, I’d say.”
William looked at Buffy who was braced for attack and looking right into Lex. She said, “You’re night is about to change drastically, Lex. We’ve come for Giles.”
Lex started toward her, giving enough distance to keep from being a victim of her fighting, since deep down he was more yellow than anyone. He said, “Boys here’s your chance, kill them.”
They went at William and Buffy from different angles, but braced for such things, they fought back, side by side, sending them all to their deaths.
William said on a laugh, “It seems your boys weren’t so smart, Lex. You want to take me on now? Or are you still only bravest when you are being defended by rookie demons?”
Lex said, “There ain’t no way in hell I’d take you on, Spike. I’m not so stupid as to do that.” Looking at Buffy, he said, “But I will take a gander at your girl there.”
Buffy said, “Try it and see where it gets you.”
Lex walked closer to Buffy and said, “I’m not going to fight you like that, slayer. I’m more interested in you for other reasons.”
Buffy saw the way he looked her over and wanted to vomit. She said, “Before you attempt to act on whatever fantasy you’ve got going, Lex, let me remind you I can still send you straight to the gallows, right behind your soldiers.”
Lex felt compelled to touch Buffy and being a demon controlled by impulses and his own spice of stupidity, he reached out, brushing her stomach—and was knocked soundly on his butt. He looked up at her and grinning—knowing why it was he was intrigued—he added, “You aren’t walking about alone these days, slayer. You’ve been fooling around with Spike too much.”
Buffy had wondered about that, but brushed it aside for weeks, telling herself she was under stress the past couple of months. Hearing it from this sick vampire, now knowing that William had heard it to, Buffy backed up some with fears in her eyes and her heart.
Lex said, “Didn’t know that?”
Buffy mumbled lowly, “How did you?”
Lex said, “Instinct. Something your lover there would have detected had he stayed a vampire. By his shock, though, I’d say he didn’t pick up on it. Surprise, surprise, folks. I guess I get some sweet satisfaction before you steak me.”
Buffy glared at him and said, “That’s all you’ll get you sick, twisted wanker!” She took her steak and pierced him centrally, sending him to his destiny.
Standing over the dust, Buffy said quietly, “I’m sorry, William.” Her voice choked.
William walked over to Buffy and turning her into his arms he said, “I’m not.”
Surprised, she said, “You aren’t? Really?”
William and Buffy took a seat on the bench in the room and William said, “Buffy when I asked you to marry me, I wanted to spend my life with you. I never thought I’d have you, or have this chance, so I’m not mad…I’m thankful.”
Buffy wrapped her arms around him and hugging him said, “I love you, Spike!”
Suddenly Giles said, “Were you guys going to just forget about me? I mean I was the one who was being held hostage.”
Breaking apart, Buffy said chagrined, “Oh, Giles!” She stood and walked to Giles, hugging him as she said, “Are you okay?”
Giles laughed and hugging Buffy back said, “I’m fine, Buffy. I was picking on you.” Looking at William he added, “So you are a part of our group again, huh?”
Nodding, William said, “I’m a lifer, Giles. You know that by now.”
William and Buffy stood and looking at Giles, William said, “We have an announcement. I asked Buffy to marry me…she said yes this time.”
Buffy smiled at William and said, “I realized I couldn’t live without him.”
Giles looked at the both of them and walking to William he reached out his hand and said, “I owe you a congratulations and a handshake, William.”
William shook Giles’s hand and said, “Thanks. I give all the credit to Buffy here. She’s the reason for all I have, what has made me want to live again.”
Giles smiled at William and said, “Buffy is a large positive influence on people, but I believe you were good enough inside to warrant needing the change for yourself too. I believe you were given this chance, William, and I am proud to see you married to Buffy. She couldn’t have got a better man than you.”
Hearing what he was saying, the compliment, William was moved. He looked away for a moment to collect himself, then looking at Giles, he shook his hand a second time and said, “Thank-you.”
Giles looked at the engaged couple, slayer and warrior, and said, “Let’s go home.”
The announcement had been made and was carried to the Scoobies at Buffy’s place later that same night. Excitement and a night of celebrating followed. Ethan was in his own little heaven knowing there would be another party in the making! Willow cried and hugged Buffy saying, “I am so happy for you, Buffy.” She hugged William too and said privately, “See, you got Buffy to say yes.” He hugged her back, telling her again congratulations about hers and Ethan’s engagement. Buffy and he would have a while to plan their wedding because she had a lot of family and despite the fact that she didn’t visit them all that often, she did want them there. That was understandable. William wanted Buffy’s and his wedding day to be perfect and he was going to help in whatever way he could to be sure it was. The plans could begin.
The engagement was out in the open now. First thing Monday morning, Buffy vowed to make an appointment with her female doctor. She would find out for sure about that variable before sharing it with the rest….
TBC…
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Fourteen—The Announcement
Friday, July 6, 2009
Buffy and William drove to the Bronze the following Friday night. William opened the door to the nightclub and held it for Buffy as she walked in. To the onlooker they made an impression, the tall sandy brown-headed sexy mystery man who dressed in black slacks and a black shirt. Beside him, his girl who wore matching black leather pants and a black tank top with a recently purchased leather jacket. Her hair in an upsweep, clipped to get it off her neck, out of her way. Small silver earrings dangled from her ears. Black spiked heels on her feet, making her level with William’s six-foot height. They casually walked down the stairs and on into the loud, raucous dimly lit room.
Willow was dancing with Ethan when she noted the newcomers. She looked up at Ethan and said, “Ethan, look. Here comes Buffy…and William…hmmm.”
Ethan grinned wickedly at them and said, “Glad to see them back as a couple.” Yeah, he thought, the bachelor party dream was shot to hell that night when she said she couldn’t marry him. Possibilities ran through his mind and he continued to grin and dance with Willow. He added, “Maybe we can have a double bachelor party.” Willow said, “Ethan! We don’t know what has happened…but you will still have your party. I don’t like those things though. I think they are barbaric.”
Ethan looked at Willow, his fiancée and love, and said, “Just remember that when you are watching that stripper that I’m banking on Anya hiring.”
Blushing, Willow said, “I thought that was a secret.”
Laughing, Ethan hugged Willow and then kissed her sweetly saying, “It’s ours, Will. I won’t say a word to Anya.” She kissed him back and continued to dance, so thankful and happy to have Ethan, to know that in six months they’d be married. It was so close and both were ready to say I do….
William and Buffy moved in the crowd that danced to Vixen’s Edge of a Broken Heart, without really listening, their thoughts on finding Giles and the others. They had an announcement to make.
The place was so packed tonight that it was soon impossible to track them all down. They’d seen Willow and Ethan and said hi, but so far no Anya, no Xander, and no Giles. So William looked at Buffy and said with a smile, “Want to dance, Buffy?”
Taking his hand, Buffy said, “Sure. I’d love to.”
They walked in the midst of the crowd and danced to the slow song that was playing off of one of the Cure’s latest CD’s. The singers that were hired for tonight must have gone on a break of sorts, Buffy thought. She didn’t mind, however, as the music was nice and she accepted William’s warm arms around her waist. Leaning her head on his shoulder she moved slowly with him, feeling his body brushing against hers. It was romantic. It was wonderful.
Until…Xander and Anya hurried over from nowhere it seemed. Xander said, “Hey guys.”
Buffy broke from the dance and hugging her friends, both Xander and Anya, she said, “What’s going on?”
Xander said, “Trouble, at the site. Giles said to come get you ASAP.”
Buffy looked up at William and said, “Ready to get into fighting mode?”
William said, “Are you kidding? I’ve waited all night for it. Come on.”
Soon Willow and Ethan were joined in and the six left the Bronze…and headed to the cemetery….
Grabbing her tennis shoes from William’s firebird or as he liked to call it, his bad ride, Buffy changed fast on the way over, talking all the while to the group who sat in the back. “You think that Giles can hold his own while we are on route?”
Xander said, “I think so. I mean he had steaks with him and you know, Buffy, that he is trained enough to fight if he has to.”
Buffy just hoped he wasn’t bombarded with too many against him. She looked at William and he shared her concerned expression. He picked up speed by twenty miles an hour, daring the joke of a police team of Sunnydale to stop them.
They parked at the cemetery less than ten minutes later. Giles being the top priority tonight, the Scoobies, the slayer and William climbed out the double doors as fast as they could. Worrying about petty things like feet being stepped on to get there, being pushed somewhat to find out what was ahead were kindly overlooked. Considering it a part of the job years ago when this began in Sunnydale with Buffy, no one thought anything about it as he or she headed across the courtyard. Buffy handed out steaks to each of them and said, “Stick by William and me. Don’t start on your own, we don’t know what we’re up against.”
Xander said, “Whatever it is we’re up against it got me from my a quiet evening with Anya, so I’m ready to fight back.”
Anya said, “Xander…”
The others laughed over this with them and Willow said, “Yeah! I mean I didn’t like our date being ruined either. Ethan and I were having fun, dancing.” Ethan took a second from the watch to pull Willow to him for a private kiss—then they took position again with steaks in hands, highly aimed to attack at sight.
William turned and said with a grin, “You guys might want to lower those somewhat. You’ll make it too easy to have them stolen and used on us.”
Ethan said, “I hadn’t thought of that.” Willow added, “Sorry.” Anya and Xander lowered theirs too and the four followed closely behind Buffy and William, looking for signs of Giles. So far he was nowhere to be seen. That wasn’t a good sign. That meant he could be held somewhere that they would have to search around for him, stepping into the vamps or demons lairs.
William noted Buffy’s nervousness, her fears and said, “He’s going to be okay, Buffy. We’ll find him.”
Buffy looked up at William and said, “I hope so.”
Twenty minutes later and still no Giles…
Buffy looked at William once alone and said, “We’ve been here long enough we should have seen him.” The others were on the look out still.
William said, “I agree it has been a long time, but that doesn’t mean he’s hurt, Buffy. I won’t lie; he’s probably in one of their dens. While the scoobies continue their search we can start at my old hangouts.” He added that part in disgust.
Buffy touched his face and said, “Which will be a tremendous help to us, William. No one looks at you in the same way as those cretins.”
Nodding, William said, “I know it. It’s the idea of having to face the fact that I do know of them. Right now, though what is important is Giles. So let’s go.”
Nodding, Buffy walked with William toward the low spots of Sunnydale. They were gone a solid hour, but Giles was still a mystery.
Finally, Buffy said, “We’ll get someone that does know.” She found the go-between guppy, Qwerty who stayed in alleys mostly, but was a help when persuaded. At the sight of him, William wanted to revolt. This was what they had come to? Not that he was a snob, but this guy was as good as worthless. Or he figured he would be anyway.
Buffy said, “Hello Qwerty.”
Qwerty looked up at Buffy and his dirty face became blanched with fear. His cockiness that he showed most people, gone whenever he saw the slayer. She could kick his butt and had more than once. He said, “Slayer. Just what brings you to this side of town? I don’t know anything if you’re trucking over here for information.”
Buffy honed in on him and said, “Really? Well I like to think that I can get information—from you. Now tell me what I want to know.” She shoved him up against the wall and said, “Besides the fact that you were really a woman before your sex change that is.”
William moved forward and said under his breath with a chuckle that only Buffy heard, “Somehow I think the operation was unsuccessful. He still squeals like a girl.”
Qwerty fought back until he noticed his oxygen being cut short and then he said, “What is it you’re wanting, girlie?”
Buffy said, “Rupert Giles. Where is he?”
Qwerty said with a dry laugh, “That stuffy Englishman is no concern of mine.”
Cutting his pipes more with her hand to his throat, Buffy said, “I think he should be, if you know what’s good for you.”
William said, “Buffy, you know I don’t get in the way of your slaying, but if you cut him off totally he won’t be able to confess anything.”
Realizing she was taking her chance away of finding out where Giles was, she pulled her hand back some. Still holding him in place so he couldn’t squirm off, she said, “Talk, Qwerty.”
Qwerty said, “You haven’t much time, but he is at the old Baylor Warehouse on Parkenson Avenue. Lex has him.”
Rolling her eyes, Buffy said, “Lexington the vampire?”
Reaching Qwerty’s nod, she looked at William and met disgust from him too. She said, “I guess now that we know where he is, we can go.” Turning to Qwerty she added, “You were such a big help. As always.”
Turning to William she added, “I’ll be outside.” She grinned as she left, giving William full reign to beat the shit out of him if he so chose….
As Buffy waited outside in the night, she could hear Qwerty’s voice—he did squeal like a girl! Buffy let herself have a grand old laugh…
Meeting the gang on the way, Buffy filled them in on what she found out from Qwerty. The six moved quickly to the warehouse. At the door, Buffy turned to them and said, “Okay gang, this is the plan. William and I go inside first. We are what they’d want anyway. Xander, Ethan, you get the girls home. Stand guard with them until we can bring Giles back.”
Xander caught this and shook his head saying, “No, Buffy. We work together on this. Like you said earlier we don’t know how many we are up against.”
Buffy said dryly, “Somehow I’m not worried anymore, speaking with Qwerty tonight.”
Ethan said, “But you have no idea what’s inside that building.”
William said, “Whatever it is, we’ll handle it. Buffy’s a tough slayer. The strongest I’ve ever known. If Rupert’s in there, she’ll bloody well get him out.”
She smiled up at him and said, “Thanks.”
William let himself soften for a moment and reaching for Buffy kissed her. He said, “It’s the truth, love.”
Willow said, “Oh that is so sweet. Ethan don’t you think that is sweet?”
Ethan gave Willow a strange look, then smiled and said, “Sure, babe. It’s sweet.” Looking at Buffy then at William, Ethan felt sure they were right. So did the others.
It didn’t take long before the slayer plan was carried out.
Alone, Buffy looked at William and said, “I feel better knowing they are at home. Thank you, Spike.”
He nodded and said, “You’re welcome, love. Let’s break into their little party, shall we?”
Nodding, Buffy said, “Let’s.”
Moving into the building with steaks and other equipment from William’s car, including cross bows and swords that he held in his overcoat, the two warriors headed inside.
Initially it looked deserted—it stunk like crazy, but the walls were vacant, as were the floors. The color of the inside was drab and gray, like it hadn’t been painted or done anything positive with in decades.
Buffy shrugged, not wanting to concern herself with it. She went with instincts as did William and both knew there was something in the room at the end of the hall. Possibly the vamp they were after, his vamp buddies, and their hostage--Giles. Buffy’s fears were gaining on her, becoming monsters in her heart as she thought of the possibility of Giles being tormented, beaten, cut up, or worse yet, killed. They were cold-blooded creatures with nothing keeping them from having a blast and poor Giles being their past time of the night.
Hearing his voice, Buffy and William said at the same time, “Come on.” They were linked so tightly that the other could tell when danger was nearby. It came with being what they were.
At the door, William looked at Buffy as he had countless other times and said, “You know the deal. If something happens to me in there and you’re outnumbered, don’t try to save me, get the hell out, Buffy.” Having heard this enough, Buffy wasn’t mad hearing it now. She nodded, but knew in her heart that if something did happen to William in there, he would be a priority too. She wouldn’t just leave him in there to be dissected and finished off brutally.
Buffy reached for William’s jacket, encouraging him to face her. When he did, she looked into his blue eyes and said, “I love you.”
William said, “I love you too, Buffy.” On impulse, William picked Buffy up by the hips and bracing her where he could hold her securely, he kissed her. She kissed him back passionately. When the kiss ended, Buffy was back on her feet, they burst into the room ready to send them all to their graves, a second time….
Barging in, William and Buffy saw the place was full of candles and yuck, but also full of vampires and other varieties of demons. The leader, Lex, glared at them and said, “Well, well, well. It looks like we have our slayer, fellas. Not only that, but we have a turncoat as well. Hell of a night, I’d say.”
William looked at Buffy who was braced for attack and looking right into Lex. She said, “You’re night is about to change drastically, Lex. We’ve come for Giles.”
Lex started toward her, giving enough distance to keep from being a victim of her fighting, since deep down he was more yellow than anyone. He said, “Boys here’s your chance, kill them.”
They went at William and Buffy from different angles, but braced for such things, they fought back, side by side, sending them all to their deaths.
William said on a laugh, “It seems your boys weren’t so smart, Lex. You want to take me on now? Or are you still only bravest when you are being defended by rookie demons?”
Lex said, “There ain’t no way in hell I’d take you on, Spike. I’m not so stupid as to do that.” Looking at Buffy, he said, “But I will take a gander at your girl there.”
Buffy said, “Try it and see where it gets you.”
Lex walked closer to Buffy and said, “I’m not going to fight you like that, slayer. I’m more interested in you for other reasons.”
Buffy saw the way he looked her over and wanted to vomit. She said, “Before you attempt to act on whatever fantasy you’ve got going, Lex, let me remind you I can still send you straight to the gallows, right behind your soldiers.”
Lex felt compelled to touch Buffy and being a demon controlled by impulses and his own spice of stupidity, he reached out, brushing her stomach—and was knocked soundly on his butt. He looked up at her and grinning—knowing why it was he was intrigued—he added, “You aren’t walking about alone these days, slayer. You’ve been fooling around with Spike too much.”
Buffy had wondered about that, but brushed it aside for weeks, telling herself she was under stress the past couple of months. Hearing it from this sick vampire, now knowing that William had heard it to, Buffy backed up some with fears in her eyes and her heart.
Lex said, “Didn’t know that?”
Buffy mumbled lowly, “How did you?”
Lex said, “Instinct. Something your lover there would have detected had he stayed a vampire. By his shock, though, I’d say he didn’t pick up on it. Surprise, surprise, folks. I guess I get some sweet satisfaction before you steak me.”
Buffy glared at him and said, “That’s all you’ll get you sick, twisted wanker!” She took her steak and pierced him centrally, sending him to his destiny.
Standing over the dust, Buffy said quietly, “I’m sorry, William.” Her voice choked.
William walked over to Buffy and turning her into his arms he said, “I’m not.”
Surprised, she said, “You aren’t? Really?”
William and Buffy took a seat on the bench in the room and William said, “Buffy when I asked you to marry me, I wanted to spend my life with you. I never thought I’d have you, or have this chance, so I’m not mad…I’m thankful.”
Buffy wrapped her arms around him and hugging him said, “I love you, Spike!”
Suddenly Giles said, “Were you guys going to just forget about me? I mean I was the one who was being held hostage.”
Breaking apart, Buffy said chagrined, “Oh, Giles!” She stood and walked to Giles, hugging him as she said, “Are you okay?”
Giles laughed and hugging Buffy back said, “I’m fine, Buffy. I was picking on you.” Looking at William he added, “So you are a part of our group again, huh?”
Nodding, William said, “I’m a lifer, Giles. You know that by now.”
William and Buffy stood and looking at Giles, William said, “We have an announcement. I asked Buffy to marry me…she said yes this time.”
Buffy smiled at William and said, “I realized I couldn’t live without him.”
Giles looked at the both of them and walking to William he reached out his hand and said, “I owe you a congratulations and a handshake, William.”
William shook Giles’s hand and said, “Thanks. I give all the credit to Buffy here. She’s the reason for all I have, what has made me want to live again.”
Giles smiled at William and said, “Buffy is a large positive influence on people, but I believe you were good enough inside to warrant needing the change for yourself too. I believe you were given this chance, William, and I am proud to see you married to Buffy. She couldn’t have got a better man than you.”
Hearing what he was saying, the compliment, William was moved. He looked away for a moment to collect himself, then looking at Giles, he shook his hand a second time and said, “Thank-you.”
Giles looked at the engaged couple, slayer and warrior, and said, “Let’s go home.”
The announcement had been made and was carried to the Scoobies at Buffy’s place later that same night. Excitement and a night of celebrating followed. Ethan was in his own little heaven knowing there would be another party in the making! Willow cried and hugged Buffy saying, “I am so happy for you, Buffy.” She hugged William too and said privately, “See, you got Buffy to say yes.” He hugged her back, telling her again congratulations about hers and Ethan’s engagement. Buffy and he would have a while to plan their wedding because she had a lot of family and despite the fact that she didn’t visit them all that often, she did want them there. That was understandable. William wanted Buffy’s and his wedding day to be perfect and he was going to help in whatever way he could to be sure it was. The plans could begin.
The engagement was out in the open now. First thing Monday morning, Buffy vowed to make an appointment with her female doctor. She would find out for sure about that variable before sharing it with the rest….
TBC…
"The truth is out there."
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angelrose242000
- Enthusiastic Roswellian
- Posts: 46
- Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2004 8:28 pm
- Location: Max's bedroom
A Love She Couldn’t Deny
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Fifteen—The Candyland Experience
Buffy’s mind continued to go over Lex’s comment that night in the Baylor Warehouse. He had been vulgar and tried to downplay the love that was shared between herself and William, but somehow Buffy was unable to forget his remark of her possible pregnancy. What was she going to do if she was pregnant? What would they do she corrected? William had just started his writing career and Buffy…she made pretty good money at the accounting firm she worked for, but who knew if she’d be able to keep it if that was the case? Competitors would jump for her job and she would be out the door…
Not that she doubted William or herself, but she was afraid. She hadn’t planned on this. Marriage, a honeymoon, happily ever after, those were things she had dreamed about since she was a teenager. So she was excited about them now as a woman, but a baby? It wasn’t what she was expecting, this soon.
Buffy walked around the house, Monday morning, pacing and nerve wracked. She had called in today so she could figure this out. William was sending in some of his work, having stayed at his apartment, so that Buffy could have some good image with her family. He respected her and didn’t want her cousins and aunts and uncles thinking she was living with someone before getting married. Very few knew that she was even sleeping with him. Her mom knew, Giles knew, her immediate friends, but no one else knew.
Buffy remembered how William had taken her into his arms that night and told her that it would be okay, that he loved her and that if she was pregnant that they would work it out. He had mentioned moving up the wedding if she found out that she was, to hell with what was going in, in New York in five months. He’d arrange it so that he could do it via the Internet. You mean more to me than anything, Buffy, he had told her.
Buffy didn’t hear the door open or Willow’s footsteps, or her mother’s behind, as they walked inside. Buffy was blowing her nose and continuing to pace in her blue jeans and cinnamon pink T-shirt.
Willow looked at Joyce and said, “You see why I called you.”
Nodding her head, Joyce replied quietly, “Thank you, Willow. You are a wonderful girl and a great friend to Buffy.”
Joyce gazed from Buffy to her Kleenex, to her watch she carried, looking at the time. She walked over to her girl and said, “Hello, Buffy.”
Buffy turned midway in her pacing and saw her mom. Surprised as she hadn’t heard of mom coming up to see her, Buffy looked at her and said, "Mom…” she hugged her. Then she added, “Decide to come visit me?”
Joyce hugged her tightly for a moment, then looking her in the eyes she said, “Willow invited me up. She said you had some good news for me. Our lives aren’t founded on that very often, so I took a flight after getting off the phone with her.” She smiled at Willow and Willow blushed saying to Buffy, “I just thought you’d like your mom here…to tell her in person.”
Buffy looked from one to the other and could tell something was up. Mom was being too sweet, not that she wasn’t a great mom, but Buffy could tell something wasn’t right. She looked at Willow and saw her squirming. So she folded her arms and said to them both, “Alright, what is going on? You’re both acting really strange.”
Joyce said, “Honey I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you what’s wrong.”
Buffy straightened and said, “Me? I’m fine.”
Willow said, “Buffy you aren’t fine. You’re…crying…and you are supposed to be happy. I’m your best friend. I can tell…”
Buffy wiped her eyes and said to both of them, “You are wrong. I’m good, really.”
Joyce asked, “Then why are you holding your watch instead of wearing it?”
Buffy jerked at that and said, “The band is too big. I hold it to keep track of time.” Stretching it full capacity she said, “See? It’s way large. I need a smaller one.”
Seeing neither woman was taking this seriously, Buffy felt resigned and nearly caved when she heard the knock on her front door…and in walked William. He spoke as he walked inside, “Knock, knock love.”
His smile fell as he spotted Buffy’s saddened face. He’d not seen Joyce or Willow yet. His eyes only on Buffy’s teary blue ones. Moving toward her, he said nothing, but took her into his arms and held her saying, “It’s going to be okay, Buffy.”
Buffy and William went into the clinic at one in the afternoon by persuasion. William was adamant that they find a slot to put Buffy in and after a heated phone conversation, they found one. Buffy and he sat in the lobby, each with a magazine opened. After five minutes looking in an offbeat magazine, Buffy tossed it to the in table and rolling her eyes she said, “This is sad. But what can we expect? This is a family clinic.”
William said, “Tell me about it. This article…” he started laughing dryly as he said, “it describes how to better satisfy your mate. Like the people in here have to worry themselves over things like that.”
Buffy said, “Yeah. It’s messed up.”
William said, “Really.”
Buffy looked up at William and said, “William? I still feel lousy.”
Rubbing her shoulders and pulling her closer to him, his duster wrapped more fully around them both, William said, “I know, love. I know. We’ll figure this out though. We’re tough, big and bad and we can handle this.”
Soon after they were called back by the LPN, Pamela, she began to do a questionnaire on Buffy, her last period, all the generic stuff that goes before the exam. Buffy answered them all, her nervousness showing in her eyes. And the way she shook as she held William’s hand. William was nervous too, but he held it back because he felt he had to be as calm as possible for Buffy. Another story played inside him, however.
Everything seemed good until Dr. Smith came in. Not five years older than Buffy, she gave one look at Buffy, then at William and said, “I take it this is your first exam together?”
Nodding, Buffy looked up at William and she tried a smile. He returned it believably confident. Then William turned to Dr. Smith and said, “It is a new experience for us.”
Nodding, Dr. Smith said kindly, “Well everything is going to be fine.” Turning to Buffy, she said, “Ms. Summers the choice is yours. We can do your exam with William here, or if you would rather he step in the hall we can do it that way too. It’s up to you.”
Buffy looked at William as if looking for him to say what he wanted to do. William said, “Up to you, love. I’ll do whatever you want.”
Nervous, Buffy said, “Would you mind…stepping out…for this? I’m not sure I can go through with it if…” She couldn’t get the rest out. William leaned down, and kissing her he said, “I’ll be in the hall, Buffy.”
William went out into the light blue and candy pink lobby. His thoughts were on Buffy, on hoping she was going to be okay, of being a dad, something he wanted with Buffy more than anything. Hoping if she was pregnant he could be the dad the child deserved, that Buffy could continue to slay and that he hadn’t robbed her of that in some way. Feeling guilty if he had. This was when he came face to face with Giles, Joyce, and the Scoobies. Guilt tripled as he forgot that he and Buffy had told Joyce and Willow about this possibility. Bloody hell news traveled fast!
Seeing the way that they all looked at him with sympathy and concern, he nearly left. Instead, he ran a hand through his hair and said, “This place is like a trip to bloody Candyland.”
Anya giggled and said, “Candyland, huh? I see it.” Xander said, “I think they over do it a tad. Why not just paint in bright letters all over the walls that you’re facing doom around the next bend?” Anya gave him a dark look and said, “Watch it. I’m carrying your child buster and in just a handful of months you’re going to know it all too well.”
William grinned over the scuffle and said, “It’s too cool, and damn if it doesn’t have a place to smoke.”
Giles said, “I think they have a smoking section out on the veranda.”
William’s eye brows raised, as he said, “No way. Giles that’s two by the way. Two times you’ve shocked the hell out of me. First the beer incident now this. I don’t think I can handle much more. Just to give you fair warning.” Giles grinned seeing William was joking and chuckling now himself, he said, “Thanks, I needed that.”
Contemplating it for a second, William shook his head and said, “Buffy will be out soon. I don’t want her to have to track me down. I’ll hang around here.”
They all took a seat and Giles reached for the magazine William had been looking in earlier. William said, “Look on page 25.”
Giles was tempted and so he flipped to it. Reading a paragraph he rolled his eyes and tossed it aside saying, “Like they need to hold articles like that in a place like this.”
Grinning humorously, William said, “I know.”
Willow had been to the window twice in the brief time Buffy was back there and had demanded that they tell her something. All the receptionist would say was that Buffy was fine. The last time she was up there complaining, she told Willow that Buffy was getting dressed.
Turning to the group, Willow huffed, “Can you believe these places? They expect you to just sit around doing nothing but waiting…waiting and reading these stupid magazines!” she all but blared so that all the staff could hear her. It was obnoxious, but Willow didn’t’ care. She caught Ethan’s smirk and William’s cough to try to hide his laughter. Finally he turned where no one could see him and grinned wickedly. Turning back to Willow he said controlled, “Girl you’re gonna get us kicked out of here.”
Giles said in his adult voice, “Exactly. Now Willow I’m sure Buffy is fine. You need to relax, it isn’t good to get so upset.”
Willow rolled her eyes and said, “Giles unless you have a gift of knowing what a woman goes through in today’s world, don’t go there with me.”
Giles sputtered something under his breath. William patted his shoulder and said, “Giles you’ll get it eventually. I have faith in you.”
Giles said, “Get what?”
William said, “The fact that you can’t win. Willow is a tough nut, a strong lady and you can’t overpower her with…stuffiness…for lack of a better word.”
Giles said, “I see. Well thanks, William for the insight.”
William grinned and said, “Anytime.”
Ten minutes later, Buffy walked through the door, into the lobby. She looked forlorn and everyone felt for her. Then she smiled and walking to William, she met him halfway and she whispered something into his ears.
Willow said, “What is it?”
Giles said, “Yeah, we should know about this, Buffy. Are you going to be okay?”
Buffy held up a finger and focused her attention on William. The room was quiet as she shared a moment with William where they just held each other, speaking words that were meant to remain intimate. Then turning to the group, Buffy wiped her eyes and said, “I’m fine. It’s just me in this body.”
Willow said, “I thought Lex said…that you were…you know.”
William squeezed Buffy’s shoulders and he said to Willow, “Lex was a loser. He was just trying to stir things up.”
Then turning to Buffy he added, “You okay?”
Buffy nodded she was, but as they were getting ready to leave the lobby area, she stopped William with a pause to her footsteps and turning to him she showed the tears. They had a moment alone, the others were already out the door. She could be a girl here, with fears and doubts and insecurities. She said through tears, “Now that we are alone I can tell you…I was scared, Spike.”
Spike said, “You didn’t have to be. Buffy I love you. I would have continued loving you even had there been a baby. Don’t doubt that.”
She said, “I know you would be. I love you too. And I want to have a family with you, but I am so glad it isn’t now. Well…you know what I’m saying I hope.”
Nodding, William brought Buffy into his arms as he said, “I know what you’re saying. Now that things are as they were, I can tell you…I was take back by it too.”
Buffy held William by his jacket, up against her, as she had done all those months ago, before they became lovers. Remembering it, she looked up at him innocently and said, “So what do we do now?”
William held Buffy’s face in his hands and said, “Well we can’t beat the hell out of Lex for his lies, so I suggest we go home and plan a wedding.”
Buffy grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck.
They kissed and started to walk out together when the image of a baby playing on the wall caught their attention. Neither would forget that day…….TBC….
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Fifteen—The Candyland Experience
Buffy’s mind continued to go over Lex’s comment that night in the Baylor Warehouse. He had been vulgar and tried to downplay the love that was shared between herself and William, but somehow Buffy was unable to forget his remark of her possible pregnancy. What was she going to do if she was pregnant? What would they do she corrected? William had just started his writing career and Buffy…she made pretty good money at the accounting firm she worked for, but who knew if she’d be able to keep it if that was the case? Competitors would jump for her job and she would be out the door…
Not that she doubted William or herself, but she was afraid. She hadn’t planned on this. Marriage, a honeymoon, happily ever after, those were things she had dreamed about since she was a teenager. So she was excited about them now as a woman, but a baby? It wasn’t what she was expecting, this soon.
Buffy walked around the house, Monday morning, pacing and nerve wracked. She had called in today so she could figure this out. William was sending in some of his work, having stayed at his apartment, so that Buffy could have some good image with her family. He respected her and didn’t want her cousins and aunts and uncles thinking she was living with someone before getting married. Very few knew that she was even sleeping with him. Her mom knew, Giles knew, her immediate friends, but no one else knew.
Buffy remembered how William had taken her into his arms that night and told her that it would be okay, that he loved her and that if she was pregnant that they would work it out. He had mentioned moving up the wedding if she found out that she was, to hell with what was going in, in New York in five months. He’d arrange it so that he could do it via the Internet. You mean more to me than anything, Buffy, he had told her.
Buffy didn’t hear the door open or Willow’s footsteps, or her mother’s behind, as they walked inside. Buffy was blowing her nose and continuing to pace in her blue jeans and cinnamon pink T-shirt.
Willow looked at Joyce and said, “You see why I called you.”
Nodding her head, Joyce replied quietly, “Thank you, Willow. You are a wonderful girl and a great friend to Buffy.”
Joyce gazed from Buffy to her Kleenex, to her watch she carried, looking at the time. She walked over to her girl and said, “Hello, Buffy.”
Buffy turned midway in her pacing and saw her mom. Surprised as she hadn’t heard of mom coming up to see her, Buffy looked at her and said, "Mom…” she hugged her. Then she added, “Decide to come visit me?”
Joyce hugged her tightly for a moment, then looking her in the eyes she said, “Willow invited me up. She said you had some good news for me. Our lives aren’t founded on that very often, so I took a flight after getting off the phone with her.” She smiled at Willow and Willow blushed saying to Buffy, “I just thought you’d like your mom here…to tell her in person.”
Buffy looked from one to the other and could tell something was up. Mom was being too sweet, not that she wasn’t a great mom, but Buffy could tell something wasn’t right. She looked at Willow and saw her squirming. So she folded her arms and said to them both, “Alright, what is going on? You’re both acting really strange.”
Joyce said, “Honey I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you what’s wrong.”
Buffy straightened and said, “Me? I’m fine.”
Willow said, “Buffy you aren’t fine. You’re…crying…and you are supposed to be happy. I’m your best friend. I can tell…”
Buffy wiped her eyes and said to both of them, “You are wrong. I’m good, really.”
Joyce asked, “Then why are you holding your watch instead of wearing it?”
Buffy jerked at that and said, “The band is too big. I hold it to keep track of time.” Stretching it full capacity she said, “See? It’s way large. I need a smaller one.”
Seeing neither woman was taking this seriously, Buffy felt resigned and nearly caved when she heard the knock on her front door…and in walked William. He spoke as he walked inside, “Knock, knock love.”
His smile fell as he spotted Buffy’s saddened face. He’d not seen Joyce or Willow yet. His eyes only on Buffy’s teary blue ones. Moving toward her, he said nothing, but took her into his arms and held her saying, “It’s going to be okay, Buffy.”
Buffy and William went into the clinic at one in the afternoon by persuasion. William was adamant that they find a slot to put Buffy in and after a heated phone conversation, they found one. Buffy and he sat in the lobby, each with a magazine opened. After five minutes looking in an offbeat magazine, Buffy tossed it to the in table and rolling her eyes she said, “This is sad. But what can we expect? This is a family clinic.”
William said, “Tell me about it. This article…” he started laughing dryly as he said, “it describes how to better satisfy your mate. Like the people in here have to worry themselves over things like that.”
Buffy said, “Yeah. It’s messed up.”
William said, “Really.”
Buffy looked up at William and said, “William? I still feel lousy.”
Rubbing her shoulders and pulling her closer to him, his duster wrapped more fully around them both, William said, “I know, love. I know. We’ll figure this out though. We’re tough, big and bad and we can handle this.”
Soon after they were called back by the LPN, Pamela, she began to do a questionnaire on Buffy, her last period, all the generic stuff that goes before the exam. Buffy answered them all, her nervousness showing in her eyes. And the way she shook as she held William’s hand. William was nervous too, but he held it back because he felt he had to be as calm as possible for Buffy. Another story played inside him, however.
Everything seemed good until Dr. Smith came in. Not five years older than Buffy, she gave one look at Buffy, then at William and said, “I take it this is your first exam together?”
Nodding, Buffy looked up at William and she tried a smile. He returned it believably confident. Then William turned to Dr. Smith and said, “It is a new experience for us.”
Nodding, Dr. Smith said kindly, “Well everything is going to be fine.” Turning to Buffy, she said, “Ms. Summers the choice is yours. We can do your exam with William here, or if you would rather he step in the hall we can do it that way too. It’s up to you.”
Buffy looked at William as if looking for him to say what he wanted to do. William said, “Up to you, love. I’ll do whatever you want.”
Nervous, Buffy said, “Would you mind…stepping out…for this? I’m not sure I can go through with it if…” She couldn’t get the rest out. William leaned down, and kissing her he said, “I’ll be in the hall, Buffy.”
William went out into the light blue and candy pink lobby. His thoughts were on Buffy, on hoping she was going to be okay, of being a dad, something he wanted with Buffy more than anything. Hoping if she was pregnant he could be the dad the child deserved, that Buffy could continue to slay and that he hadn’t robbed her of that in some way. Feeling guilty if he had. This was when he came face to face with Giles, Joyce, and the Scoobies. Guilt tripled as he forgot that he and Buffy had told Joyce and Willow about this possibility. Bloody hell news traveled fast!
Seeing the way that they all looked at him with sympathy and concern, he nearly left. Instead, he ran a hand through his hair and said, “This place is like a trip to bloody Candyland.”
Anya giggled and said, “Candyland, huh? I see it.” Xander said, “I think they over do it a tad. Why not just paint in bright letters all over the walls that you’re facing doom around the next bend?” Anya gave him a dark look and said, “Watch it. I’m carrying your child buster and in just a handful of months you’re going to know it all too well.”
William grinned over the scuffle and said, “It’s too cool, and damn if it doesn’t have a place to smoke.”
Giles said, “I think they have a smoking section out on the veranda.”
William’s eye brows raised, as he said, “No way. Giles that’s two by the way. Two times you’ve shocked the hell out of me. First the beer incident now this. I don’t think I can handle much more. Just to give you fair warning.” Giles grinned seeing William was joking and chuckling now himself, he said, “Thanks, I needed that.”
Contemplating it for a second, William shook his head and said, “Buffy will be out soon. I don’t want her to have to track me down. I’ll hang around here.”
They all took a seat and Giles reached for the magazine William had been looking in earlier. William said, “Look on page 25.”
Giles was tempted and so he flipped to it. Reading a paragraph he rolled his eyes and tossed it aside saying, “Like they need to hold articles like that in a place like this.”
Grinning humorously, William said, “I know.”
Willow had been to the window twice in the brief time Buffy was back there and had demanded that they tell her something. All the receptionist would say was that Buffy was fine. The last time she was up there complaining, she told Willow that Buffy was getting dressed.
Turning to the group, Willow huffed, “Can you believe these places? They expect you to just sit around doing nothing but waiting…waiting and reading these stupid magazines!” she all but blared so that all the staff could hear her. It was obnoxious, but Willow didn’t’ care. She caught Ethan’s smirk and William’s cough to try to hide his laughter. Finally he turned where no one could see him and grinned wickedly. Turning back to Willow he said controlled, “Girl you’re gonna get us kicked out of here.”
Giles said in his adult voice, “Exactly. Now Willow I’m sure Buffy is fine. You need to relax, it isn’t good to get so upset.”
Willow rolled her eyes and said, “Giles unless you have a gift of knowing what a woman goes through in today’s world, don’t go there with me.”
Giles sputtered something under his breath. William patted his shoulder and said, “Giles you’ll get it eventually. I have faith in you.”
Giles said, “Get what?”
William said, “The fact that you can’t win. Willow is a tough nut, a strong lady and you can’t overpower her with…stuffiness…for lack of a better word.”
Giles said, “I see. Well thanks, William for the insight.”
William grinned and said, “Anytime.”
Ten minutes later, Buffy walked through the door, into the lobby. She looked forlorn and everyone felt for her. Then she smiled and walking to William, she met him halfway and she whispered something into his ears.
Willow said, “What is it?”
Giles said, “Yeah, we should know about this, Buffy. Are you going to be okay?”
Buffy held up a finger and focused her attention on William. The room was quiet as she shared a moment with William where they just held each other, speaking words that were meant to remain intimate. Then turning to the group, Buffy wiped her eyes and said, “I’m fine. It’s just me in this body.”
Willow said, “I thought Lex said…that you were…you know.”
William squeezed Buffy’s shoulders and he said to Willow, “Lex was a loser. He was just trying to stir things up.”
Then turning to Buffy he added, “You okay?”
Buffy nodded she was, but as they were getting ready to leave the lobby area, she stopped William with a pause to her footsteps and turning to him she showed the tears. They had a moment alone, the others were already out the door. She could be a girl here, with fears and doubts and insecurities. She said through tears, “Now that we are alone I can tell you…I was scared, Spike.”
Spike said, “You didn’t have to be. Buffy I love you. I would have continued loving you even had there been a baby. Don’t doubt that.”
She said, “I know you would be. I love you too. And I want to have a family with you, but I am so glad it isn’t now. Well…you know what I’m saying I hope.”
Nodding, William brought Buffy into his arms as he said, “I know what you’re saying. Now that things are as they were, I can tell you…I was take back by it too.”
Buffy held William by his jacket, up against her, as she had done all those months ago, before they became lovers. Remembering it, she looked up at him innocently and said, “So what do we do now?”
William held Buffy’s face in his hands and said, “Well we can’t beat the hell out of Lex for his lies, so I suggest we go home and plan a wedding.”
Buffy grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck.
They kissed and started to walk out together when the image of a baby playing on the wall caught their attention. Neither would forget that day…….TBC….
"The truth is out there."
Come nominate your favourites at Crossovers!
Come nominate your favourites at Crossovers!
-
angelrose242000
- Enthusiastic Roswellian
- Posts: 46
- Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2004 8:28 pm
- Location: Max's bedroom
A Love She Couldn’t Deny
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Sixteen—A Quiet Reprieve
September 6, 2009
The girls sat at a table outside the Bronze, at the picnic tables. An umbrella was pitched in the center of the table and it was open wide, offering a wonderful shade. It might be fall but in Sunnydale that didn’t matter. It was still hot and the sun still blinding at times.
Willow looked at Buffy and asked, “So…Buffy…have you decided how to invite your older brother, Deacon to the wedding?”
Buffy said, “You mean the same Deacon that hasn’t had a thing to do with me in fifteen years?”
Anya felt tension and said with a raise to her brows, “I didn’t know you had a brother, Buffy.”
Buffy rolled her eyes and said, “Not many do. I don’t talk about him that much…he has a rebellious past full of causing mom grief and being totally reckless.” Grinning wickedly, she added, “Of course I was nothing like that. I was a saint. Especially this past year.”
Willow grinned into her drink, but Anya was bold as she said, “Innocent? Maybe for awhile…until Spike that is.”
Buffy took a long drink of her Pepsi and said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m the same Buffy I always was.” She grinned and tried to fight it.
Willow said with a grin of her own, “Sure you are. So are we. We’ve not changed a bit since high school, have we Anya?”
Anya said, “Oh no…of course not. Now back to Deacon. What’s the deal there? Confession time, girl. What does he look like…and what kind of car does he drive?”
Buffy’s eyes enlarged as she said, “I thought you were happily married to Xander…having his child last time I heard.”
Anya crossed her arms over her chest and said, “I am! But I can still be curious about my friend’s mysterious brother. Tell me more. I am anxious to hear all about this wicked brother of yours.”
Buffy laughed and began to tell the story…
BY the time she was done, Buffy had confided that Deacon was thirty-two, had light brown hair and blue-green eyes. In high school he was considered pretty popular, until he chose to become rebellious and then he lost those friends and gained friendships with loners. They formed a bandit group that led to his dropping out at eighteen—to Joyce’s dismay at midterm of his senior year.
Of course that happened in San Francisco, just before Buffy’s parents got divorced and she and Buffy moved to Sunnydale. Buffy finished, “I chose to come with mom to Sunnydale. Deacon chose to stay in San Francisco…with dad. I’ve not heard much since about his whereabouts…so I couldn’t tell you about him now. But at eighteen he was a wild troublemaker. You’d have liked him, Anya. He was ambitious.”
Anya was playing so she continued, “He have many girlfriends?”
Taking a sip of her Pepsi, Buffy said, “Sure…he had his share. Of course their type changed when he did. So the cheerleader type changed to the girl least liked.”
Anya said mischievously, “I like a guy who is okay with being a bit reckless. Xander is reckless.”
Both women looked at her strangely, then Buffy said, “Xander is about as reckless as Screech on Saved by the Bell.”
Willow giggled at this and said, “You still watch it too? I thought I was the only one.”
Buffy said, “I have moments when Zack calls to me.”
Anya said, “I don’t even want to hear about it then. If you can drool over Zack Morris, I can enjoy a story about Deacon Summers.” When she had both her friends' eyes on her with amusement, Anya added, “I can…so there!”
Toward the end of their visit that Saturday, Anya added, “Deacon reminds me of Spike. Doesn’t he?”
Willow eyed Buffy with a grin that said Anya had hit the mark. Buffy shook her head and said, “No way, Anya. Spike and Deacon are two different guys entirely.”
Anya said, “How is that? Both were bad boys, both rebelled against authority it sounds like. Aside from the slayer thing, both are complete opposite of you.”
Buffy grabbed a napkin out of the dispenser and crushing it with her fist, she tossed it across the table at Anya! She added, “They are different!”
Laughing, all three women finished their drinks and headed for Buffy’s….
At Buffy’s later, the wedding was brought up again. Willow said, “When is everyone supposed to be here? And have you and William decided where to put them?”
Dropping on her couch, Buffy said with a huge sigh, “My Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Brad will be here almost instantly as they live close by. But my Uncle Watson and his wife Jenny will be coming in from Florida. Basically I have about thirty family members coming in and most live in other states. The wedding is in four weeks and I’ve not yet decided where to put half of them. It is a concern of mine, but William seems to think it will work out. I’m hoping he’s right.” She held her forehead with her hand in agitation over trying to place thirty people in a two-story house. IT wouldn’t work. They would have to get motel rooms. It was simple as that. Would Buffy have to pay for it? She hoped not. But how could she invite them to hers and William’s wedding and not pay?
She added, “I’m not looking forward to that task.”
Anya asked, “What task?”
Buffy cringed; realizing she had complained about loved ones coming to her wedding, and said, “Finding room for them all. I dread seeing how much it will cost to put them in hotels or motels.”
Anya said, “I suggest you have them reserve rooms before coming. I mean that is too much to put on yours or William’s shoulders.”
Willow gave Anya a disgusted look and Buffy had to join her this time as she said, “Oh yeah, I’ll put in my invites, ‘RSVP by placing your credit card numbers on this sheet so that a sleeping arrangement might be provided.’”
Impressed by this idea, Anya said, “Why not? I think it sounds brilliant. In fact, it is what Xander and I nearly did. He talked me out of it.”
Willow said, “Go Xander! Anya that is tacky…even for an Ex-demon.”
Anya tossed her reddish longish hair back behind her shoulders and said haughtily, “Well excuse me! I won’t suggest anything else. Buffy you find your way through this wedding fiasco.”
Buffy saw that Anya wasn’t truly upset or hurt so she said with a light chuckle, “Somehow we’ll find a way through it…somehow.”
William drove home in his firebird exhausted and ready to find Buffy. Parking his car, he climbed out and shut it soundly before walking up the driveway to her front door. He was fit to be tied.
Knocking he said, “Buffy? You home, love?”
Buffy smiled from across the room and said, “We’re here.”
Anya said, “Yeah, talking about characters from Saved by the Bell.”
Buffy blushed.
William looked at Willow and Anya and said, “I don’t know what it is about that preppy boy she likes so much. He’s bloody strange.”
Willow said dreamily, “But he’s sort of cute. I mean that blonde hair and those blue eyes.”
William said, “I’ve had my hair blonde and my eyes are blue. So what of that? I still think he’s a poofter from way back.”
Buffy said, “I did have a crush on Zack Morris at one time. A big one. But nothing can compare to being with someone real, someone I love and who loves me. Any other fairy tale character I could have liked doesn’t hold a candle for me now.”
She met William and added with a grin, “Besides this one gets the cutest frown on his face when he thinks he’s being duped.”
William pulled Buffy to him and said, “I’ve missed you.” He leaned down and kissed her.
Buffy returned it.
Anya let out a sound of disgust to her voice, Willow smacked her and said, “Be quiet.”
William and Buffy ignored it all. They kissed another moment and then breaking apart, William said, “I had to get over here.” Buffy said, “I’m glad. So how was the interview?”
He started for the couch as he said, “Oh it was fine. Except that I felt all my moves were being watched. Every word I spoke was being recorded good or bad.” He shuddered in memory of it and caught the girls’s smirks. Anya said, “Once upon a time you liked that excitement.” William said, “Yeah, maybe in days when I was a vampire, but I never really liked being corralled by people. I was always really a loner at heart.” Anya swallowed the laugh that almost came out. Willow grinned with her and Buffy moved forward trying to block it saying, “What happened after?”
William sat on the couch and pulling up the flack on his jeans he added, “I left the interview with Janie Robbins and got chased to my car by a bloody photographer slash reporter who began asking me a bunch of questions. From my shoe size to my type of girl I liked. It was annoying and I felt on a game show. It got worse though. When I answered as briefly as possible, then she went even further and said and I quote, ‘I hear poets are known to be experts in bed. Would you call yourself an expert lover? What is it you do that is so exciting?”
Willow giggled and catching his frown she forced it back, then smiled and said, “What did you say to that…bold comment…?”
Seeing his eyebrows rise, Willow blushed the color of her hair and said, “Sorry. You just got me wondering. I don’t mean to…intrude…or anything. Gosh, just forget I said anything.” Willow walked across the room to the window and stared out, wondering how much further she could stick her foot in it!
William looked at Buffy and both grinned toward Willow. She was cute when she got nervous, William thought. Though he could never see her as more than a little sister, her blunders were cute.
He said to the group as a whole, “When she was done asking me that I looked at her and said as cavalierly as possible, ‘I’ve never been to bed with a poet, sorry. I can’t say.”
Anya said, “Did she leave you alone then?”
Buffy said, “If she was good at her job, she didn’t. My dad works in media and so I know all about being questioned.” Buffy’s memories of her dad working in a director position and having his family sit with him in evening dinners, Buffy being asked question after question about her perfect life…they still were with her. Of course she put them behind her most days and got on with her life as a slayer and accountant. But they didn’t leave for good.
William said, “Buffy’s right. She didn’t stop there. She went on to explain that she really was referring to me and my prowess with women. Like I’m a bloody Chip N Dale. I told her I couldn’t answer that either. Only my fiance knew for sure about it and she wasn’t there to ask. I didn’t give names, but Buffy you might beware, love, they are determined to bug the hell out of us both.”
Buffy moved closer to William on the couch and said, “Well I’m not worried…not about the reporter anyway. She just wanted to see if you’d give her a clue, one-on-one.”
William laughed over this, sexily and said, “I find it hilarious. I nearly asked her what she thought of interviewing an ex-vampire. I could give her enough of an earful to get her running home scared.”
Anya said, “Now that would have been entertaining to see in tomorrow’s paper.”
Laughing, William said, “Yeah, it would have been. Bloody hell if I chose to be decent. I thought it was right good of me to choose to spare the lonely washroom girl of those nightmares. But I did get a brief inward laugh over the idea. It made the interviewing at my firebird comical.”
Buffy said, “Oh to love a man with a dry sense of humor.”
William said, “Is that an invitation, love?”
Anya said, “I think this is my cue to leave. Buffy I’ll see you later.”
Willow turned from the window and caught William cuddling with Buffy and feeling doubly embarrassed said, “I…I think I’m going to go home now. Bye Buffy…William…”
Willow had been out the door for five seconds when William came out right after. He said, “Where are you going, girl?”
Willow said erratically, “Someplace to hide. I can’t believe I said those things in there! You must think I am totally Cordelia all over again.”
Laughing, William said, “Let’s go sit for a minute, Willow.”
Nodding, Willow walked with William to the porch swing. He looked at her and catching her anxiety he said, “Why would I think you were Cordelia? You are you, Willow.”
Willow said, “Sure I am. A spazz of a friend who says ridiculous things and gets herself in embarrassing situations. Some girl I am.”
William caught her wiping her eyes and facing front, wiping his hand over his face, William said, “Yeah, well look at me, Willow. Look at all the changes I’ve gone through to be here.”
Thinking of that, Willow said, “True. But you are also exceptional and cool…Buffy loves you…and you are a great friend…you’re sweet and cool. You’re not like Ethan who flirted with the idea of being engaged to me then got back together with his old girlfriend from college. You’re perfect compared to that, William.”
William took all this in for the first time and looking at Willow he said, “Thank you, honey, but I’ve never been perfect.”
Willow wiped more tears and said, “You’re sure of your love for Buffy.”
William said, “Yeah, I am. But it took me years to get up the nerve to confront her, much less to date her. To get her to see me as more than a vamp. Let’s not forget those things, Willow. They’re important, they prove that I’m not above anyone. I’ve had to work from the bottom up to be here.”
Willow said, “Yeah, maybe so, but you are here.” Looking into his eyes with her feelings evident now, Willow reached out with her hand and touched William’s hand with hers. Then at the touch, at how much she knew she wanted, that maybe she had always wanted and didn’t let herself think about, Willow got up nervously and said, “I’ve…I’ve got to go. Goodnight.”
William said, “Night, Willow.”
When William went back inside, he met Buffy in the kitchen when he went after a cold drink. Taking a moment to pop the top and take a drink, William said, “Willow just left. She’s hurt.”
Concerned and feeling guilty, Buffy said, “Oh no. It’s because we picked on her. I should have known better being her best friend. I’ll call her in a few minutes, see if she’s okay.”
William said, “That would be good.” No way was he about to tell her that her best friend had taken a liking to him. He could handle it, he told himself. Willow was like a little sister to him.
So that night, when he went home, William stopped over at her house. Ringing the doorbell, he waited and when she answered and saw it was him, when she hesitated, he said, “Come on, Will. Let me inside.”
Willow was standing in her jeans and yellow T-shirt; her red hair pulled up into a high ponytail. She opened the door and let him in, figuring she had nothing else to lose.
When he walked inside, she shut the door, locked it and said nothing. William said, “I was hoping we could talk a few minutes.”
Nodding, Willow said, “Sure. Come on, we’ll go in here.” She meant the dining room. Seated at the table a few minutes later, Willow looked at William, he at her. This silence was terrible!
Finally he said, “Willow, I hated you leaving like you did earlier.”
Willow said, “I figured well…I had done enough damage…what was the point in staying?”
William said, “You are a good friend, Willow, of mine and Buffy’s. You are part of what brought us back together.”
Smiling, Willow said, “Thanks.”
Patting her hand, William said, “You’re welcome. The point is, you are an amazing girl, Willow. Ethan will regret leaving you for Emma. If not now, then later.”
Hearing this conversation was hard on Willow. She felt a couple tears falling and her eyes became blurry all of a sudden. She wiped them away and said, “William…I am so miserable.”
Reaching for her, William took Willow into his arms and hugged her as he would a sister. He said, “I know it girl. I know. You know what though?”
Backing away some, Willow replied, “No, what?”
William said, “You’re sweet and some guy will find you before Ethan has a chance to realize what a sorry bastard he was.”
Willow replied, “You’re right. I just have to realize that I can do better than Ethan. And when I get there, I’ll let you know. Right now I just want to curl up in bed and go to sleep.”
William said, “You could do that. I’d go if that’s what you want. Otherwise, we could watch some ridiculous television like two best friends and eat a lot of garbage. How does that sound?”
What the hell? William was a friend of hers and she was sure Buffy wouldn’t mind. So Willow said, “I’ve got popcorn. And a whole lot of sappy romance movies.”
William said, “You grab em, I’ll watch with you.”
So William and Willow spent the night watching TV and eating popcorn from six that evening until four in the morning.
It was platonic and fun, two good friends enjoying watching silly movies and hanging out….everything was fine…until Ethan spotted William leaving Willow’s apartment. All hell was about to break loose….
A Love She Couldn’t Deny
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Seventeen—Pizza Rolls and Snapshots
William and Willow continued to hang out the rest of the weekend and all the next week, in the evenings, after he left Buffy’s. It was never anything more than friendship and it helped Willow. Each day helped her get over Ethan and what he did to her. She was thankful to have William as a good friend.
Secretly she knew she liked him more than she should, but so far he hadn’t said anything about it. The way she looked at him sometimes without meaning to. It just came out. But he hadn’t hit on her. She was so glad he hadn’t because right then when she was still recovering from Ethan’s blow to her heart, she wasn’t sure she could tell him no.
They took turns cooking! It turned out William was a good cook. They had popcorn, and his famous Pizza rolls he made from scratch. She had looked at him one night last week and said kindly, “Buffy’s getting a good cook when she marries you, William. Does she know that yet?”
Taking a bite of his roll, William grinned ornery and said, “I think she has an idea. Pizza rolls aren’t anything much, though, Will.”
Willow denied that and went on into the living room with him.
She was getting over Ethan…and it was thanks to William. He had taken her shopping when Buffy had to work and they had gone to the library together. It was innocent. Innocent….
Sunnydale was too damn small to carry on as that bastard poet had with Willow Rosenberg, Ethan thought to himself a week later. To think that he had once looked up to Spike and saw him to be cool! He was looking forward to a bachelor party with the jerk. He saw him as a friend over the past year. Yeah, maybe, he was seeing Emma again, but since when did that give Spike the right to go spending nights over at Willow’s? Wasn’t he still shacking up with Buffy? Just how did she feel about her fiance spending his nights and free time with her best friend, Ethan wondered? Soon, he thought with a sinister smile, he would find out. Two could play at this game….
Monday, September 19th
Buffy had come home from work tired and ready to unwind for the night. She looked forward to William stopping by to visit with her. She enjoyed nights with him. It had been a long time since they had made love…technically, a week ago. That wasn’t exactly a lot to some people, but to a relationship that was four to five times a night, that was too obvious. Of course, Buffy knew he was busy with his writing, trying to get his compilations together before sending them off to New York by Friday. She pushed it back and unlocked her front door. Opening her front door she stepped inside and locked it behind her. Flipping on lights, Buffy kicked off her shoes and headed across the house, trying to let go of her day’s tensions. She had had a day of it! Two families determined to have their taxes assessed had kept her with them for hours, trying kindly to tell them that one was way in arrears, the other trying to convince them that they could exempt some things. It was tiresome, but she got through it. Finally!
Going to her bedroom, upstairs, she changed into shorts and an airy pink T-Shirt. Coming down again, she checked and saw her answering machine blinking. She had this feeling that William was one of them, saying he was going to be late. He’d done that two times in the past week. She had dismissed it, but if he did it again…she would say something. Not that she wanted to be obsessive, but even the most confident of girlfriends would wonder after awhile.
When she pushed the button, sure enough one was from William. He said, “Buffy I hate to do this, but I’m going to have to cancel tonight. I’ve got work that is going to keep me up half the night. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. I hate having to cancel on these things… Anyway, I love you. I will call you later. William.”
Buffy walked to her kitchen and opened the door, grabbing a candy bar and a Pepsi. Sitting at the table, she wondered. What was so pressing that he couldn’t bring it with him? Or put it off for an hour to spend with her? I thought I meant more to you than anything, Buffy found herself thinking, then worked like hell to push it back, along with the confusion in her heart….
William was indeed working tonight and on his writing. He had spoken the truth on Buffy’s machine earlier. Trying to juggle his relationship with Buffy, whom he loved more than anything, and helping Willow recover from Ethan seemed a full time job for William. But he had to get this done otherwise the people in New York would be on his back asking for it. He’d already received a phone call and a letter, reminding him. He had to get it finished.
The knock on his door surprised him. He got up half expecting it to be Buffy. HE was surprised to open the door and find Willow standing on the other end. He ran a hand through his hair and said with a smile, “Willow…come in.”
Walking inside, Willow looked around at William’s things. When she heard the door shut, she turned to him and said, “I won’t stay here too long…I just wanted…to tell you thank you. You’ve been a good friend to me during the past week when I was so upset.”
William smiled fondly over this and said, “You saying it has to end? Our friendship?”
Pulling out the magazine from her inside pants pocket and said, “It has to. Look what they’re doing now.”
It was a tabloid, but William took a look. There where photos on the front of Photo Zone Magazine. Photos of William out walking with Willow, to the library, to his firebird. Of him leaving her apartment. That was worse yet because it was obvious that it was daylight when he left on some occasions. They took a lot of shots of this, in different times, some daylight, others darkness.
Willow watched as his eyes grew large over some of the shots and said, “I know. It seems we’re a pretty hot couple, you and me. We managed to get five pages in that thing. So…I stopped by William to say we have to stop hanging together. For Buffy—and for you. You’ve worked too hard to get to this point.”
William flipped page after page of pictures. He swore and thought how he had to get to Buffy’s. Then seeing Willow’s hurt face, he said, “Willow, don’t let this get you down. I’ve come from worse and fought worse than these bloody tabloids. Okay?”
Nodding, Willow said, “I just don’t want…to cause you problems. I care about you too much, William. You and Buffy both.”
Touching her face, William said, “I know.”
Willow let herself do something small…she let herself touch his hand with hers. The contact brought her eyes up to his and he looked at her. Turning away, Willow said, “I am sorry, William. I don’t know why this is happening to me, but I can’t hang around you anymore for more than just that tabloid. I’m battling my own mess right now. Being around here is too hard for me right now.”
Nodding, William said, “That’s fine, Willow. I’m sorry if I caused this in any way.”
Willow eyed him and shaking her head she said, “You haven’t. I just know that for some reason I’m not meant to be happy…not for long. Ethan and I were close, but not that close, not yet. I haven’t been…” she cut off and said, “I’ve got to go.”
William said, “Willow wait.”
She turned to look at him through frustrated tears.
He walked over to her and said, “You will find someone, someone that will be that close with you.”
Willow had moved away from him more than once, but this was too much. He had her close enough to him now that the temptation was almost too high. She looked up into his eyes and said, “William…I…I’ve got to go home.” She turned to find the doorknob, but it was too hard to find it right now.
She added, “I wish that I could find someone like you, William. Someone as good as you.”
William said, “Damn it Willow.” He turned her to him. For Willow, for all she was going through, for her pain, her need to feel, William pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Willow stepped forward, toward William, and took more of his kiss. Just as abruptly though as it happened, William broke it and said, “I can’t do this.”
Ashamed, Willow turned away from William and said through tears, “I’m sorry, William…I egged that on. I caused it. I’ll hate myself until I die for it!” Willow opened his door and took off on a run.
William ran both hands over his face and said, “Son of a bitch.”
He felt like a true son of a bitch when he looked back and caught Buffy’s hurt eyes, peering into his with questions that he wasn’t sure he had answers too. Not answers she’d believe anyway. But by the looks of this mess, he was about to face it, believable answers or not. Buffy was here and somehow William felt sure she wouldn't leave his place until she had them….
TBC…
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Sixteen—A Quiet Reprieve
September 6, 2009
The girls sat at a table outside the Bronze, at the picnic tables. An umbrella was pitched in the center of the table and it was open wide, offering a wonderful shade. It might be fall but in Sunnydale that didn’t matter. It was still hot and the sun still blinding at times.
Willow looked at Buffy and asked, “So…Buffy…have you decided how to invite your older brother, Deacon to the wedding?”
Buffy said, “You mean the same Deacon that hasn’t had a thing to do with me in fifteen years?”
Anya felt tension and said with a raise to her brows, “I didn’t know you had a brother, Buffy.”
Buffy rolled her eyes and said, “Not many do. I don’t talk about him that much…he has a rebellious past full of causing mom grief and being totally reckless.” Grinning wickedly, she added, “Of course I was nothing like that. I was a saint. Especially this past year.”
Willow grinned into her drink, but Anya was bold as she said, “Innocent? Maybe for awhile…until Spike that is.”
Buffy took a long drink of her Pepsi and said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m the same Buffy I always was.” She grinned and tried to fight it.
Willow said with a grin of her own, “Sure you are. So are we. We’ve not changed a bit since high school, have we Anya?”
Anya said, “Oh no…of course not. Now back to Deacon. What’s the deal there? Confession time, girl. What does he look like…and what kind of car does he drive?”
Buffy’s eyes enlarged as she said, “I thought you were happily married to Xander…having his child last time I heard.”
Anya crossed her arms over her chest and said, “I am! But I can still be curious about my friend’s mysterious brother. Tell me more. I am anxious to hear all about this wicked brother of yours.”
Buffy laughed and began to tell the story…
BY the time she was done, Buffy had confided that Deacon was thirty-two, had light brown hair and blue-green eyes. In high school he was considered pretty popular, until he chose to become rebellious and then he lost those friends and gained friendships with loners. They formed a bandit group that led to his dropping out at eighteen—to Joyce’s dismay at midterm of his senior year.
Of course that happened in San Francisco, just before Buffy’s parents got divorced and she and Buffy moved to Sunnydale. Buffy finished, “I chose to come with mom to Sunnydale. Deacon chose to stay in San Francisco…with dad. I’ve not heard much since about his whereabouts…so I couldn’t tell you about him now. But at eighteen he was a wild troublemaker. You’d have liked him, Anya. He was ambitious.”
Anya was playing so she continued, “He have many girlfriends?”
Taking a sip of her Pepsi, Buffy said, “Sure…he had his share. Of course their type changed when he did. So the cheerleader type changed to the girl least liked.”
Anya said mischievously, “I like a guy who is okay with being a bit reckless. Xander is reckless.”
Both women looked at her strangely, then Buffy said, “Xander is about as reckless as Screech on Saved by the Bell.”
Willow giggled at this and said, “You still watch it too? I thought I was the only one.”
Buffy said, “I have moments when Zack calls to me.”
Anya said, “I don’t even want to hear about it then. If you can drool over Zack Morris, I can enjoy a story about Deacon Summers.” When she had both her friends' eyes on her with amusement, Anya added, “I can…so there!”
Toward the end of their visit that Saturday, Anya added, “Deacon reminds me of Spike. Doesn’t he?”
Willow eyed Buffy with a grin that said Anya had hit the mark. Buffy shook her head and said, “No way, Anya. Spike and Deacon are two different guys entirely.”
Anya said, “How is that? Both were bad boys, both rebelled against authority it sounds like. Aside from the slayer thing, both are complete opposite of you.”
Buffy grabbed a napkin out of the dispenser and crushing it with her fist, she tossed it across the table at Anya! She added, “They are different!”
Laughing, all three women finished their drinks and headed for Buffy’s….
At Buffy’s later, the wedding was brought up again. Willow said, “When is everyone supposed to be here? And have you and William decided where to put them?”
Dropping on her couch, Buffy said with a huge sigh, “My Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Brad will be here almost instantly as they live close by. But my Uncle Watson and his wife Jenny will be coming in from Florida. Basically I have about thirty family members coming in and most live in other states. The wedding is in four weeks and I’ve not yet decided where to put half of them. It is a concern of mine, but William seems to think it will work out. I’m hoping he’s right.” She held her forehead with her hand in agitation over trying to place thirty people in a two-story house. IT wouldn’t work. They would have to get motel rooms. It was simple as that. Would Buffy have to pay for it? She hoped not. But how could she invite them to hers and William’s wedding and not pay?
She added, “I’m not looking forward to that task.”
Anya asked, “What task?”
Buffy cringed; realizing she had complained about loved ones coming to her wedding, and said, “Finding room for them all. I dread seeing how much it will cost to put them in hotels or motels.”
Anya said, “I suggest you have them reserve rooms before coming. I mean that is too much to put on yours or William’s shoulders.”
Willow gave Anya a disgusted look and Buffy had to join her this time as she said, “Oh yeah, I’ll put in my invites, ‘RSVP by placing your credit card numbers on this sheet so that a sleeping arrangement might be provided.’”
Impressed by this idea, Anya said, “Why not? I think it sounds brilliant. In fact, it is what Xander and I nearly did. He talked me out of it.”
Willow said, “Go Xander! Anya that is tacky…even for an Ex-demon.”
Anya tossed her reddish longish hair back behind her shoulders and said haughtily, “Well excuse me! I won’t suggest anything else. Buffy you find your way through this wedding fiasco.”
Buffy saw that Anya wasn’t truly upset or hurt so she said with a light chuckle, “Somehow we’ll find a way through it…somehow.”
William drove home in his firebird exhausted and ready to find Buffy. Parking his car, he climbed out and shut it soundly before walking up the driveway to her front door. He was fit to be tied.
Knocking he said, “Buffy? You home, love?”
Buffy smiled from across the room and said, “We’re here.”
Anya said, “Yeah, talking about characters from Saved by the Bell.”
Buffy blushed.
William looked at Willow and Anya and said, “I don’t know what it is about that preppy boy she likes so much. He’s bloody strange.”
Willow said dreamily, “But he’s sort of cute. I mean that blonde hair and those blue eyes.”
William said, “I’ve had my hair blonde and my eyes are blue. So what of that? I still think he’s a poofter from way back.”
Buffy said, “I did have a crush on Zack Morris at one time. A big one. But nothing can compare to being with someone real, someone I love and who loves me. Any other fairy tale character I could have liked doesn’t hold a candle for me now.”
She met William and added with a grin, “Besides this one gets the cutest frown on his face when he thinks he’s being duped.”
William pulled Buffy to him and said, “I’ve missed you.” He leaned down and kissed her.
Buffy returned it.
Anya let out a sound of disgust to her voice, Willow smacked her and said, “Be quiet.”
William and Buffy ignored it all. They kissed another moment and then breaking apart, William said, “I had to get over here.” Buffy said, “I’m glad. So how was the interview?”
He started for the couch as he said, “Oh it was fine. Except that I felt all my moves were being watched. Every word I spoke was being recorded good or bad.” He shuddered in memory of it and caught the girls’s smirks. Anya said, “Once upon a time you liked that excitement.” William said, “Yeah, maybe in days when I was a vampire, but I never really liked being corralled by people. I was always really a loner at heart.” Anya swallowed the laugh that almost came out. Willow grinned with her and Buffy moved forward trying to block it saying, “What happened after?”
William sat on the couch and pulling up the flack on his jeans he added, “I left the interview with Janie Robbins and got chased to my car by a bloody photographer slash reporter who began asking me a bunch of questions. From my shoe size to my type of girl I liked. It was annoying and I felt on a game show. It got worse though. When I answered as briefly as possible, then she went even further and said and I quote, ‘I hear poets are known to be experts in bed. Would you call yourself an expert lover? What is it you do that is so exciting?”
Willow giggled and catching his frown she forced it back, then smiled and said, “What did you say to that…bold comment…?”
Seeing his eyebrows rise, Willow blushed the color of her hair and said, “Sorry. You just got me wondering. I don’t mean to…intrude…or anything. Gosh, just forget I said anything.” Willow walked across the room to the window and stared out, wondering how much further she could stick her foot in it!
William looked at Buffy and both grinned toward Willow. She was cute when she got nervous, William thought. Though he could never see her as more than a little sister, her blunders were cute.
He said to the group as a whole, “When she was done asking me that I looked at her and said as cavalierly as possible, ‘I’ve never been to bed with a poet, sorry. I can’t say.”
Anya said, “Did she leave you alone then?”
Buffy said, “If she was good at her job, she didn’t. My dad works in media and so I know all about being questioned.” Buffy’s memories of her dad working in a director position and having his family sit with him in evening dinners, Buffy being asked question after question about her perfect life…they still were with her. Of course she put them behind her most days and got on with her life as a slayer and accountant. But they didn’t leave for good.
William said, “Buffy’s right. She didn’t stop there. She went on to explain that she really was referring to me and my prowess with women. Like I’m a bloody Chip N Dale. I told her I couldn’t answer that either. Only my fiance knew for sure about it and she wasn’t there to ask. I didn’t give names, but Buffy you might beware, love, they are determined to bug the hell out of us both.”
Buffy moved closer to William on the couch and said, “Well I’m not worried…not about the reporter anyway. She just wanted to see if you’d give her a clue, one-on-one.”
William laughed over this, sexily and said, “I find it hilarious. I nearly asked her what she thought of interviewing an ex-vampire. I could give her enough of an earful to get her running home scared.”
Anya said, “Now that would have been entertaining to see in tomorrow’s paper.”
Laughing, William said, “Yeah, it would have been. Bloody hell if I chose to be decent. I thought it was right good of me to choose to spare the lonely washroom girl of those nightmares. But I did get a brief inward laugh over the idea. It made the interviewing at my firebird comical.”
Buffy said, “Oh to love a man with a dry sense of humor.”
William said, “Is that an invitation, love?”
Anya said, “I think this is my cue to leave. Buffy I’ll see you later.”
Willow turned from the window and caught William cuddling with Buffy and feeling doubly embarrassed said, “I…I think I’m going to go home now. Bye Buffy…William…”
Willow had been out the door for five seconds when William came out right after. He said, “Where are you going, girl?”
Willow said erratically, “Someplace to hide. I can’t believe I said those things in there! You must think I am totally Cordelia all over again.”
Laughing, William said, “Let’s go sit for a minute, Willow.”
Nodding, Willow walked with William to the porch swing. He looked at her and catching her anxiety he said, “Why would I think you were Cordelia? You are you, Willow.”
Willow said, “Sure I am. A spazz of a friend who says ridiculous things and gets herself in embarrassing situations. Some girl I am.”
William caught her wiping her eyes and facing front, wiping his hand over his face, William said, “Yeah, well look at me, Willow. Look at all the changes I’ve gone through to be here.”
Thinking of that, Willow said, “True. But you are also exceptional and cool…Buffy loves you…and you are a great friend…you’re sweet and cool. You’re not like Ethan who flirted with the idea of being engaged to me then got back together with his old girlfriend from college. You’re perfect compared to that, William.”
William took all this in for the first time and looking at Willow he said, “Thank you, honey, but I’ve never been perfect.”
Willow wiped more tears and said, “You’re sure of your love for Buffy.”
William said, “Yeah, I am. But it took me years to get up the nerve to confront her, much less to date her. To get her to see me as more than a vamp. Let’s not forget those things, Willow. They’re important, they prove that I’m not above anyone. I’ve had to work from the bottom up to be here.”
Willow said, “Yeah, maybe so, but you are here.” Looking into his eyes with her feelings evident now, Willow reached out with her hand and touched William’s hand with hers. Then at the touch, at how much she knew she wanted, that maybe she had always wanted and didn’t let herself think about, Willow got up nervously and said, “I’ve…I’ve got to go. Goodnight.”
William said, “Night, Willow.”
When William went back inside, he met Buffy in the kitchen when he went after a cold drink. Taking a moment to pop the top and take a drink, William said, “Willow just left. She’s hurt.”
Concerned and feeling guilty, Buffy said, “Oh no. It’s because we picked on her. I should have known better being her best friend. I’ll call her in a few minutes, see if she’s okay.”
William said, “That would be good.” No way was he about to tell her that her best friend had taken a liking to him. He could handle it, he told himself. Willow was like a little sister to him.
So that night, when he went home, William stopped over at her house. Ringing the doorbell, he waited and when she answered and saw it was him, when she hesitated, he said, “Come on, Will. Let me inside.”
Willow was standing in her jeans and yellow T-shirt; her red hair pulled up into a high ponytail. She opened the door and let him in, figuring she had nothing else to lose.
When he walked inside, she shut the door, locked it and said nothing. William said, “I was hoping we could talk a few minutes.”
Nodding, Willow said, “Sure. Come on, we’ll go in here.” She meant the dining room. Seated at the table a few minutes later, Willow looked at William, he at her. This silence was terrible!
Finally he said, “Willow, I hated you leaving like you did earlier.”
Willow said, “I figured well…I had done enough damage…what was the point in staying?”
William said, “You are a good friend, Willow, of mine and Buffy’s. You are part of what brought us back together.”
Smiling, Willow said, “Thanks.”
Patting her hand, William said, “You’re welcome. The point is, you are an amazing girl, Willow. Ethan will regret leaving you for Emma. If not now, then later.”
Hearing this conversation was hard on Willow. She felt a couple tears falling and her eyes became blurry all of a sudden. She wiped them away and said, “William…I am so miserable.”
Reaching for her, William took Willow into his arms and hugged her as he would a sister. He said, “I know it girl. I know. You know what though?”
Backing away some, Willow replied, “No, what?”
William said, “You’re sweet and some guy will find you before Ethan has a chance to realize what a sorry bastard he was.”
Willow replied, “You’re right. I just have to realize that I can do better than Ethan. And when I get there, I’ll let you know. Right now I just want to curl up in bed and go to sleep.”
William said, “You could do that. I’d go if that’s what you want. Otherwise, we could watch some ridiculous television like two best friends and eat a lot of garbage. How does that sound?”
What the hell? William was a friend of hers and she was sure Buffy wouldn’t mind. So Willow said, “I’ve got popcorn. And a whole lot of sappy romance movies.”
William said, “You grab em, I’ll watch with you.”
So William and Willow spent the night watching TV and eating popcorn from six that evening until four in the morning.
It was platonic and fun, two good friends enjoying watching silly movies and hanging out….everything was fine…until Ethan spotted William leaving Willow’s apartment. All hell was about to break loose….
A Love She Couldn’t Deny
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Seventeen—Pizza Rolls and Snapshots
William and Willow continued to hang out the rest of the weekend and all the next week, in the evenings, after he left Buffy’s. It was never anything more than friendship and it helped Willow. Each day helped her get over Ethan and what he did to her. She was thankful to have William as a good friend.
Secretly she knew she liked him more than she should, but so far he hadn’t said anything about it. The way she looked at him sometimes without meaning to. It just came out. But he hadn’t hit on her. She was so glad he hadn’t because right then when she was still recovering from Ethan’s blow to her heart, she wasn’t sure she could tell him no.
They took turns cooking! It turned out William was a good cook. They had popcorn, and his famous Pizza rolls he made from scratch. She had looked at him one night last week and said kindly, “Buffy’s getting a good cook when she marries you, William. Does she know that yet?”
Taking a bite of his roll, William grinned ornery and said, “I think she has an idea. Pizza rolls aren’t anything much, though, Will.”
Willow denied that and went on into the living room with him.
She was getting over Ethan…and it was thanks to William. He had taken her shopping when Buffy had to work and they had gone to the library together. It was innocent. Innocent….
Sunnydale was too damn small to carry on as that bastard poet had with Willow Rosenberg, Ethan thought to himself a week later. To think that he had once looked up to Spike and saw him to be cool! He was looking forward to a bachelor party with the jerk. He saw him as a friend over the past year. Yeah, maybe, he was seeing Emma again, but since when did that give Spike the right to go spending nights over at Willow’s? Wasn’t he still shacking up with Buffy? Just how did she feel about her fiance spending his nights and free time with her best friend, Ethan wondered? Soon, he thought with a sinister smile, he would find out. Two could play at this game….
Monday, September 19th
Buffy had come home from work tired and ready to unwind for the night. She looked forward to William stopping by to visit with her. She enjoyed nights with him. It had been a long time since they had made love…technically, a week ago. That wasn’t exactly a lot to some people, but to a relationship that was four to five times a night, that was too obvious. Of course, Buffy knew he was busy with his writing, trying to get his compilations together before sending them off to New York by Friday. She pushed it back and unlocked her front door. Opening her front door she stepped inside and locked it behind her. Flipping on lights, Buffy kicked off her shoes and headed across the house, trying to let go of her day’s tensions. She had had a day of it! Two families determined to have their taxes assessed had kept her with them for hours, trying kindly to tell them that one was way in arrears, the other trying to convince them that they could exempt some things. It was tiresome, but she got through it. Finally!
Going to her bedroom, upstairs, she changed into shorts and an airy pink T-Shirt. Coming down again, she checked and saw her answering machine blinking. She had this feeling that William was one of them, saying he was going to be late. He’d done that two times in the past week. She had dismissed it, but if he did it again…she would say something. Not that she wanted to be obsessive, but even the most confident of girlfriends would wonder after awhile.
When she pushed the button, sure enough one was from William. He said, “Buffy I hate to do this, but I’m going to have to cancel tonight. I’ve got work that is going to keep me up half the night. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. I hate having to cancel on these things… Anyway, I love you. I will call you later. William.”
Buffy walked to her kitchen and opened the door, grabbing a candy bar and a Pepsi. Sitting at the table, she wondered. What was so pressing that he couldn’t bring it with him? Or put it off for an hour to spend with her? I thought I meant more to you than anything, Buffy found herself thinking, then worked like hell to push it back, along with the confusion in her heart….
William was indeed working tonight and on his writing. He had spoken the truth on Buffy’s machine earlier. Trying to juggle his relationship with Buffy, whom he loved more than anything, and helping Willow recover from Ethan seemed a full time job for William. But he had to get this done otherwise the people in New York would be on his back asking for it. He’d already received a phone call and a letter, reminding him. He had to get it finished.
The knock on his door surprised him. He got up half expecting it to be Buffy. HE was surprised to open the door and find Willow standing on the other end. He ran a hand through his hair and said with a smile, “Willow…come in.”
Walking inside, Willow looked around at William’s things. When she heard the door shut, she turned to him and said, “I won’t stay here too long…I just wanted…to tell you thank you. You’ve been a good friend to me during the past week when I was so upset.”
William smiled fondly over this and said, “You saying it has to end? Our friendship?”
Pulling out the magazine from her inside pants pocket and said, “It has to. Look what they’re doing now.”
It was a tabloid, but William took a look. There where photos on the front of Photo Zone Magazine. Photos of William out walking with Willow, to the library, to his firebird. Of him leaving her apartment. That was worse yet because it was obvious that it was daylight when he left on some occasions. They took a lot of shots of this, in different times, some daylight, others darkness.
Willow watched as his eyes grew large over some of the shots and said, “I know. It seems we’re a pretty hot couple, you and me. We managed to get five pages in that thing. So…I stopped by William to say we have to stop hanging together. For Buffy—and for you. You’ve worked too hard to get to this point.”
William flipped page after page of pictures. He swore and thought how he had to get to Buffy’s. Then seeing Willow’s hurt face, he said, “Willow, don’t let this get you down. I’ve come from worse and fought worse than these bloody tabloids. Okay?”
Nodding, Willow said, “I just don’t want…to cause you problems. I care about you too much, William. You and Buffy both.”
Touching her face, William said, “I know.”
Willow let herself do something small…she let herself touch his hand with hers. The contact brought her eyes up to his and he looked at her. Turning away, Willow said, “I am sorry, William. I don’t know why this is happening to me, but I can’t hang around you anymore for more than just that tabloid. I’m battling my own mess right now. Being around here is too hard for me right now.”
Nodding, William said, “That’s fine, Willow. I’m sorry if I caused this in any way.”
Willow eyed him and shaking her head she said, “You haven’t. I just know that for some reason I’m not meant to be happy…not for long. Ethan and I were close, but not that close, not yet. I haven’t been…” she cut off and said, “I’ve got to go.”
William said, “Willow wait.”
She turned to look at him through frustrated tears.
He walked over to her and said, “You will find someone, someone that will be that close with you.”
Willow had moved away from him more than once, but this was too much. He had her close enough to him now that the temptation was almost too high. She looked up into his eyes and said, “William…I…I’ve got to go home.” She turned to find the doorknob, but it was too hard to find it right now.
She added, “I wish that I could find someone like you, William. Someone as good as you.”
William said, “Damn it Willow.” He turned her to him. For Willow, for all she was going through, for her pain, her need to feel, William pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Willow stepped forward, toward William, and took more of his kiss. Just as abruptly though as it happened, William broke it and said, “I can’t do this.”
Ashamed, Willow turned away from William and said through tears, “I’m sorry, William…I egged that on. I caused it. I’ll hate myself until I die for it!” Willow opened his door and took off on a run.
William ran both hands over his face and said, “Son of a bitch.”
He felt like a true son of a bitch when he looked back and caught Buffy’s hurt eyes, peering into his with questions that he wasn’t sure he had answers too. Not answers she’d believe anyway. But by the looks of this mess, he was about to face it, believable answers or not. Buffy was here and somehow William felt sure she wouldn't leave his place until she had them….
TBC…
"The truth is out there."
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angelrose242000
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Re: A Love She Couldn't Deny
A Love She Couldn’t Deny
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Eighteen— Getting What You Deserve…
William stood and watched as Buffy’s eyes continued to stare at him. He finally got words out of his mouth but they sounded thick and forced because of his fears. He said, “Buffy…it wasn’t…what are you doing here?”
Buffy walked inside and said, “Watching you trip over your own tongue.” When he started to say something else, Buffy held up her hand and said, “Let’s not go into this right now, William.”
William said, “We need to, Buffy.”
Giving him a glare, Buffy said, “No, we don’t. What we need to talk about is the latest trouble in Sunnydale. It seems there is a creature out there hell bent on causing trouble.”
William said dryly, “Just when we thought we had a reprieve.”
Buffy’s eyebrows rose and fell and she said, “Catch up, William. This thing is bent on causing problems for you. That is why I am here. Here, check this out.”
Buffy all but flung the tabloid that Willow had just shown him moments ago into his face. He grabbed it and took in the photos again. Each one seemed more incriminating than the last. More than not showed him with his arm around Willow’s shoulder, or hers holding his hand. It looked bad.
William eyed Buffy, trying to read her expression. All he got was anger and a wall that she had put up to protect herself, he guessed. Accepting it, he said resigned, “Willow stopped by here tonight showing me these bloody things. I don’t know who tipped them off, but I’m guessing it is someone pissed off at me.”
Buffy nodded and said coolly, “You think?” Watching his eyes darken with irritation, Buffy realized she was slipping. She’d come here to do a job, not get emotional. So she swallowed back her feelings again and said plainly, “Since it involves you and Willow…” she paused and fought to keep controlled before continuing, “it is possible that this person is against Willow.”
William said, “Willow hasn’t got any enemies. No, I’d more see it as someone connected to me.”
Buffy folded her arms across her chest and said flatly, “Really? What about her ex-boyfriend, Ethan? I mean let’s look at that possibility.”
William didn’t want to, but figured he didn’t have a choice. Buffy was insistent on it, so he said, “Okay…”
Buffy nodded and continued hard as it was, pacing as she went, “You are coming and going out of Willow’s apartment at different times of the day and night. You’re seen at various places together. He happens to see you at one of them. He becomes outraged…jealous…he decides to turn his anger and insanity on the both of you. He wants to hurt you worst of all because you were a friend of his. He might see it as a way of giving you what you deserve by throwing it in my face. I would be the dense girlfriend, totally blind to it.”
Buffy stopped there, looking him straight in the face, letting it sink in. She had hoped to hit home with him, but it seemed to be working just as badly on her. She moved away from him trying to collect herself when she felt her heart breaking over this realization. She asked lowly, “How long have you been sleeping together? How long would you have let me go thinking you loved just me?”
William shot up in defense of himself, “Buffy, I’ve not been with anyone but you since we’ve been together.”
Buffy turned to William and showed him the tears now in her eyes, some that fell, as she spat, “Really? The pictures don’t say that.”
William started moving himself, as he said, “Those pictures are garbage, Buffy. They stretch something innocent into something sordid, just to make money. Most of it is lies. You should know that, Buffy.”
Buffy let his words wash through her as she fumed, “Then how can you explain how Willow ran out of your apartment in tears?”
William recalled what had caused Willow to leave in tears and that did hit his conscience, causing his eyes to lower some as he said, “She came by to warn me about a tabloid ad. She was upset over it. I am her friend, Buffy. Just her friend.”
Buffy picked up on his reaction and so she said, “Partly, maybe. Why wouldn’t you tell me about going to her house? Why keep that from me—if you were just friends?” When William hesitated, Buffy said, “Something is going on.”
William said, “It’s nothing, Buffy. Nothing that I couldn’t handle. It sure as hell doesn’t mean that I’ve been cheating on you.”
Buffy said, “Ah. So you were doing this to protect me? Please, William. That sort of thing doesn’t work on me. I’m not the kind of person that likes being kept in the dark. Certainly not now.”
William felt he was losing Buffy again, he probably was. But if he was going to lose her, then he would tell her why he did what he did. He said plainly, “I’m thinking of you by saying what I am. It is nothing. Nothing happened between Willow and me. I see her as a girl who is lonely, going through a bad time from a guy who didn’t deserve her, but one that she loved and lost. What I did this past week was try to help another innocent get through a bad time. You do it every day as a slayer.”
Buffy said, “That isn’t all I’ve done as a slayer. I also trusted you, William. I let you touch me, make love to me, and become a part of my world, for you to go behind my back and hide something. Something you try to pass off now as a sacred duty of helping a friend. Like I’m supposed to buy that.”
William saw the regret in her eyes and felt it even worse inside. She regretted giving herself to him, regretted it because she thought he had used her with Willow, her best friend. It hurt to think that she questioned him that strongly, that despite their years of knowing each other as co-fighters and later lovers that she still saw him as nothing better than a trouble making punk. Somewhere deep down that had to be what she thought, William guessed. Otherwise she would have laughed that damn thing off and come to him, telling him that she believed him.
His heart ached as he said, “Buffy I can’t make you believe me. I’ve told you it was nothing, but if you choose to continue thinking I screwed around on you, then I guess you’ll have to think that. I can’t change how it looks…I wish I could.”
Buffy hated that he brought her being a slayer into it. She was still angered over that comment. Since he had, she chose to go back to the slaying part, her job, and leave the rest because it hurt too much. Considering what he was saying, how his voice sounded so earnest to her ears, it was easy to believe him. Knowing she couldn’t that his actions now, the blatant way he showed her that he hadn’t told her everything had her miserable. Buffy said, “I came over here to warn you that someone is taking pictures of you, someone wants to hurt you, William. Keep an eye out. If it is Ethan…we have a jealous ex-lover on our hands.” Getting in his face, Buffy added, “He’ll want you dead.”
William said, “He’ll have to get in line then, won’t he, love?”
Wiping tears, Buffy said strongly, “I don’t want you dead, William. But I do get to do something that he doesn’t get to. I get to tell you that I’m tired of being your girlfriend when it suits you, then being tossed aside for my best friend…” lowering her head to block the way her voice cracked, Buffy added, “I’ll protect you as a slayer because that is my calling. But as far as we’re concerned,” she used her hands to express them as a couple, “we are finished. The wedding is off.”
William tried to stop her by gently pulling her back. Buffy turned the anger and hurt so in her she couldn’t stop herself. She folded up her right fist and punched him so hard in the mouth that it sent him flying across the room, to the couch! In tears, Buffy said, “Stay the hell away from me, William.”
Buffy left William’s apartment that night in tears too.
William said, “Damn it I should have locked my door and bloody well forbade anyone from coming in!”
Neither William nor Buffy slept well that night….
TBC...
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Eighteen— Getting What You Deserve…
William stood and watched as Buffy’s eyes continued to stare at him. He finally got words out of his mouth but they sounded thick and forced because of his fears. He said, “Buffy…it wasn’t…what are you doing here?”
Buffy walked inside and said, “Watching you trip over your own tongue.” When he started to say something else, Buffy held up her hand and said, “Let’s not go into this right now, William.”
William said, “We need to, Buffy.”
Giving him a glare, Buffy said, “No, we don’t. What we need to talk about is the latest trouble in Sunnydale. It seems there is a creature out there hell bent on causing trouble.”
William said dryly, “Just when we thought we had a reprieve.”
Buffy’s eyebrows rose and fell and she said, “Catch up, William. This thing is bent on causing problems for you. That is why I am here. Here, check this out.”
Buffy all but flung the tabloid that Willow had just shown him moments ago into his face. He grabbed it and took in the photos again. Each one seemed more incriminating than the last. More than not showed him with his arm around Willow’s shoulder, or hers holding his hand. It looked bad.
William eyed Buffy, trying to read her expression. All he got was anger and a wall that she had put up to protect herself, he guessed. Accepting it, he said resigned, “Willow stopped by here tonight showing me these bloody things. I don’t know who tipped them off, but I’m guessing it is someone pissed off at me.”
Buffy nodded and said coolly, “You think?” Watching his eyes darken with irritation, Buffy realized she was slipping. She’d come here to do a job, not get emotional. So she swallowed back her feelings again and said plainly, “Since it involves you and Willow…” she paused and fought to keep controlled before continuing, “it is possible that this person is against Willow.”
William said, “Willow hasn’t got any enemies. No, I’d more see it as someone connected to me.”
Buffy folded her arms across her chest and said flatly, “Really? What about her ex-boyfriend, Ethan? I mean let’s look at that possibility.”
William didn’t want to, but figured he didn’t have a choice. Buffy was insistent on it, so he said, “Okay…”
Buffy nodded and continued hard as it was, pacing as she went, “You are coming and going out of Willow’s apartment at different times of the day and night. You’re seen at various places together. He happens to see you at one of them. He becomes outraged…jealous…he decides to turn his anger and insanity on the both of you. He wants to hurt you worst of all because you were a friend of his. He might see it as a way of giving you what you deserve by throwing it in my face. I would be the dense girlfriend, totally blind to it.”
Buffy stopped there, looking him straight in the face, letting it sink in. She had hoped to hit home with him, but it seemed to be working just as badly on her. She moved away from him trying to collect herself when she felt her heart breaking over this realization. She asked lowly, “How long have you been sleeping together? How long would you have let me go thinking you loved just me?”
William shot up in defense of himself, “Buffy, I’ve not been with anyone but you since we’ve been together.”
Buffy turned to William and showed him the tears now in her eyes, some that fell, as she spat, “Really? The pictures don’t say that.”
William started moving himself, as he said, “Those pictures are garbage, Buffy. They stretch something innocent into something sordid, just to make money. Most of it is lies. You should know that, Buffy.”
Buffy let his words wash through her as she fumed, “Then how can you explain how Willow ran out of your apartment in tears?”
William recalled what had caused Willow to leave in tears and that did hit his conscience, causing his eyes to lower some as he said, “She came by to warn me about a tabloid ad. She was upset over it. I am her friend, Buffy. Just her friend.”
Buffy picked up on his reaction and so she said, “Partly, maybe. Why wouldn’t you tell me about going to her house? Why keep that from me—if you were just friends?” When William hesitated, Buffy said, “Something is going on.”
William said, “It’s nothing, Buffy. Nothing that I couldn’t handle. It sure as hell doesn’t mean that I’ve been cheating on you.”
Buffy said, “Ah. So you were doing this to protect me? Please, William. That sort of thing doesn’t work on me. I’m not the kind of person that likes being kept in the dark. Certainly not now.”
William felt he was losing Buffy again, he probably was. But if he was going to lose her, then he would tell her why he did what he did. He said plainly, “I’m thinking of you by saying what I am. It is nothing. Nothing happened between Willow and me. I see her as a girl who is lonely, going through a bad time from a guy who didn’t deserve her, but one that she loved and lost. What I did this past week was try to help another innocent get through a bad time. You do it every day as a slayer.”
Buffy said, “That isn’t all I’ve done as a slayer. I also trusted you, William. I let you touch me, make love to me, and become a part of my world, for you to go behind my back and hide something. Something you try to pass off now as a sacred duty of helping a friend. Like I’m supposed to buy that.”
William saw the regret in her eyes and felt it even worse inside. She regretted giving herself to him, regretted it because she thought he had used her with Willow, her best friend. It hurt to think that she questioned him that strongly, that despite their years of knowing each other as co-fighters and later lovers that she still saw him as nothing better than a trouble making punk. Somewhere deep down that had to be what she thought, William guessed. Otherwise she would have laughed that damn thing off and come to him, telling him that she believed him.
His heart ached as he said, “Buffy I can’t make you believe me. I’ve told you it was nothing, but if you choose to continue thinking I screwed around on you, then I guess you’ll have to think that. I can’t change how it looks…I wish I could.”
Buffy hated that he brought her being a slayer into it. She was still angered over that comment. Since he had, she chose to go back to the slaying part, her job, and leave the rest because it hurt too much. Considering what he was saying, how his voice sounded so earnest to her ears, it was easy to believe him. Knowing she couldn’t that his actions now, the blatant way he showed her that he hadn’t told her everything had her miserable. Buffy said, “I came over here to warn you that someone is taking pictures of you, someone wants to hurt you, William. Keep an eye out. If it is Ethan…we have a jealous ex-lover on our hands.” Getting in his face, Buffy added, “He’ll want you dead.”
William said, “He’ll have to get in line then, won’t he, love?”
Wiping tears, Buffy said strongly, “I don’t want you dead, William. But I do get to do something that he doesn’t get to. I get to tell you that I’m tired of being your girlfriend when it suits you, then being tossed aside for my best friend…” lowering her head to block the way her voice cracked, Buffy added, “I’ll protect you as a slayer because that is my calling. But as far as we’re concerned,” she used her hands to express them as a couple, “we are finished. The wedding is off.”
William tried to stop her by gently pulling her back. Buffy turned the anger and hurt so in her she couldn’t stop herself. She folded up her right fist and punched him so hard in the mouth that it sent him flying across the room, to the couch! In tears, Buffy said, “Stay the hell away from me, William.”
Buffy left William’s apartment that night in tears too.
William said, “Damn it I should have locked my door and bloody well forbade anyone from coming in!”
Neither William nor Buffy slept well that night….
TBC...
"The truth is out there."
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angelrose242000
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Re: A Love She Couldn't Deny
A Love She Couldn’t Deny
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Nineteen—Moving On…
Two Months Later…
“Willow it’s been two months. She hasn’t called me and when I’ve tried I get nothing.”
Willow sat with William in her kitchen that Saturday night and said with a look of understanding in her eyes, “She thinks…she thinks we fooled around. It has to hurt.” Looking down, she said, “We did cross a line, William. I should never have…told you those things. I’m sorry.”
William looked at Willow, catching her sadness and feeling for her he said, “Me too. But not for being your friend. I don’t regret that, Will.”
Willow looked into his eyes then and said touched, “Thanks.”
William nodded and taking another drink of his beer he said, “No problem. Well I should probably go.”
Nodding, Willow stood with him and said, “Oh…okay.” Walking him to the door she said, “We’ll work this out, William.”
William paused at the door and looking into Willow’s green eyes he said, “Some days I think it never should have lasted this long. We’re too alike in some ways…I’m beginning to think that warriors shouldn’t mix.”
Willow rolled her eyes and said, “Yeah, well I don’t have to worry about that. Thankfully I’m not a warrior. I’m more a sidekick in the fray of action.” She smiled, liking that analogy.
William said, ‘You are more than that, Willow.”
Feeling his hand on her shoulder, Willow felt things she knew she shouldn’t. They still existed. Desire coming into her eyes before she could look down, Willow said, “I…I think you should…go too.”
Shutting the door for a moment, William asked, “When I touch you…Willow you feel something. Don’t you?”
Backing up, Willow said insecurely, “I shouldn’t be talking to you about this. Buffy…”
William started to walk in Willow’s direction as he said, “Buffy doesn’t have a damn thing to do with it, Willow.”
Shaking her head, tending to agree but knowing it was probably selfish, Willow said, “No…I mean…you and she were engaged for a long time. I was engaged for a long time.” She continued to move back, he forward as she said, “I don’t understand it. It’s got to be rebound.”
William stopped when he realized she had. They were in the middle of her kitchen again. He said, “Rebound or not, it is there. I feel it too.” He said this lowly and then looking into her eyes, trying to find something in response, William caught it. He caught the fire and nodded. He said, “I can’t explain it either, Willow. I hear what you’re saying, I know that we were both attached for a long time. But those relationships are over. We have to move on.”
Willow said with a queer look in her face, showing that she was trying to fight herself as she said, “Yeah, but with each other?”
William said, “I’ve heard of it happening.” Pausing, catching the way she digested this, he continued, “Will, we need to talk about this before anything else can be resolved. How long have you felt this way?”
Willow said looking at his feet, “I’m ashamed to tell you that…to admit it to myself.” Looking up at him with a grin, figuring she had nothing else to lose, her relationship with Buffy was strained to the point of probably not existent anymore. So making herself look up at him, Willow said, “Since you got your chip…my early days in college.” Smiling, Willow confessed, “I used to watch you, secretly of course because you were bad Spike and we were supposed to repel you.” Chuckling then, Willow continued, “It was dumb and I always felt stupid. You were a part of our group as much as I was.” Catching the way he stared at her so directly, Willow continued nervously, “Anyway, I watched you when you didn’t see me, when no one did.” She lowered her eyes and continued, “Guys would ask me out…and I would go out, but nothing came of it.” Looking up at him she added, “You were my largest crush.”
William leaned against her island and said, “Why? You were an honor roll student, Will, a pride to your family. I was the epitome of destruction, no good. I was a bloody vampire, Willow.”
Willow looked up at him, wishing she could walk closer, but fearing if she did she’d never tell him everything. So she stayed where she was and shrugging her shoulders, Willow said, “I know. Maybe I was attracted because you were so different. You rode a kick ass bike, left your hair blonde and wore those cool black clothes…that leather.” Blushing she continued, “Do you know how long I sat in my room, wishing I could be bad just once? That I could have the courage to tell you these things…back before you got together with Buffy? Then kicking myself for the coward I was for not being able to when I could?” Facing him fully now she finished, “It was awful, William. It still is.”
William walked closer to Willow until he was within arm’s reach of her. He replied quietly, “I should be flattered then, I suppose.”
Willow turned away and said, “Don’t be. Please. That just makes me sound worse. Little Willow flattering a big time poet.”
William said, “I don’t see it that way. And though I should be, I’m not flattered right now.”
Turning, Willow said with a curious face, “Really? Well, good. I…I don’t think…”
William moved in the rest of the way, “Best not to, love.”
William aggressively yanked her to him in a style that would have a lot of lonely housewives inching closer to their TV’s. Not bothering this time to be noble, William lowered his head and kissed her passionately on the mouth.
Unable to stop herself, Willow kissed him back, pushing him back so they danced. This lasted a few minutes, then breathless, Willow pulled back so she could look up at him. She said, “This is…insane.”
Nodding, William kissed her briefly on the mouth as he said, “Insane.”
Willow said unable to stop talking, “It is reckless…it is…” Feeling his body as he moved with her against the door jamb, hearing him ask, “It’s what, Will?” He paused, waiting for her answer.
Willow couldn’t fight it anymore. She’d fought off these feelings for years and it was too much tonight. She was not going to able to walk around him this time. Looking up into his eyes and said, “I don’t know what it is…I wish I did. But I know I can’t ignore this anymore.” She looked into his eyes, at his mouth, then down over the rest of him. When she looked back up into his eyes she saw they were darkened. This was it.
Looking him in the eyes, Willow walked up to him, her needs and passion she was sure quite apparent by now, as she said, “Show me Spike. Show me what it’s like to be bad.” Willow watched as his eyes became predatory, as they looked her over. Willow felt the same intensity inside, wanting him to take the lead and show her what it felt like to be loved, wanting Spike.
As soon as she said those words, Willow didn’t have to think about it or anything. Spike grabbed her into his arms, kissing her to the point of rough. Willow liked it, she kissed him back, feeling him lifting her, carrying her to the island in her kitchen. Continuing the passionate kiss so that it was drugging and lasting, so it had Willow leaning up against him intimately, kissing him desperately, Spike lowered his kisses to her neck. Willow dropped her head back and holding onto his shoulders, she felt as he kissed her down her longish neck. She sucked in breath as he began opening buttons to her burgundy shirt, kissing her down with each button he released. Feeling as he lowered her back against the island, Willow knew that there was no turning back.
Having her shirt opened, Willow watched and felt as he kissed her from her neck, on down to the button of her jeans. Needing the shirt off of her,
Willow moved around fighting to get it off. Spike lifted her enough to help, saying, “Here, love.” Choosing now while he held her in his arms to do this, Spike unhooked the back of her bra, pulling it off. Taking a look over her, he said, “You’re so beautiful, Willow.” Willow said, “Am I? I never…saw myself that way.”
Spike lowered his hands to her breasts, watching her interest and said, “Trust me. You are.” Smiling, Willow said, “Thank-you.” Spike lifted her chin with one hand, holding her against him with the other and lowering his mouth to hers, he kissed her deeply. Willow kissed him back, for the moment wrapping her arms around his neck and letting herself enjoy the kiss.
Needing to see him too, Willow made her hands be bold as she reached for his shirt. Pulling his black shirt up over his head, Willow ran her hands over his chest, over his shoulders, through his hair. Drug back into his kisses, Willow felt as he kissed her neck, so tantalizingly that Willow moaned, feeling him leaning down over her, on the island, feeling his skin next to hers.
Spike lowered his mouth and kissed her breasts in ways she never thought could stimulate her. Excited and proven very wrong, Willow stretched out her arms, letting him have more access. She called his name—calling out Spike—and he seemed to be okay with it. Kissing her lower, he continued to heat her up until her eyes became clouded and teary. Her jeans were still on!
Discovering she was ready for htem not to be, Willow lowered her hands to the buttons of them and felt them stilled by Spike’s. She heard him chuckle and say, “For that we’ll go into your bedroom.” Picking her up, he carried her back to her bedroom.
Kissing her all the while, he lowered her to her yellow sheets. Lowering his hands, to her jeans, he unbuttoned them, while moving his hot kisses to her neck again. He was successfully getting her mind off of what he was doing and onto what it felt like to be kissed. Before Willow knew it, he had her jeans off of her as well as her panties. Enjoying this, Spike started his kisses down her body again.
Willow felt his kisses, knowing she was beyond reasoning now, totally his. Without knowing it—being so absorbed in his seduction—Willow barely knew when he opened her legs. When he kissed her in her intimate place, Willow knew it. She was about to say something in question as this was so new, when he took command and made this part of her as much his as the rest of her.
Willow felt something building inside and knew somehow that it was because of what Spike was doing to her. Willow discovered that she was unable to stop him or the way she moved recklessly on her sheets, or the sweat that poured out of her over the experience.
Something wild was happening to her during this because Willow caught herself digging her hands into her pillow. Her voice was becoming panty, tears were falling out of her eyes and she was beginning to feel an incredible ache in her lower belly that she had never known in this degree. It was at this point that Willow forgot every nice girl rule she had ever displayed and went totally on desire. While he continued to get to know her, Willow clamped her toes into the mattress and as he held her legs to have what he needed, Willow moved her body against him very provocatively. Speaking through this maze, Willow unknowingly said, “Spike. Take me. I want you…inside me. I need…to…feel…you…” That was as far as Willow got before her body gave way to a new awakening. She screamed out loud, “Oh…Spike!” as she reached orgasm for the first time, hearing his moans as he brought her there.
Leaning his head to her ear he said breathy, “Will…listen for a second.” Willow was pleasantly adjusting to the realm of contentment, but she could hear him still and she nodded. He asked, “You on something? Birth control…I mean.” Willow said, “Mmmm.” Spike kissed her face, her neck and said, “Honey I need to know…” Willow brought herself to enough to see what he was asking. She said quietly, “No…I’m not…but it’s okay. I’ll risk it.”
Spike kissed her lips and moving away from her for a minute, he put on protection that he carried along with him. In this world, you couldn’t be too careful.
Climbing back in with her, he took her mouth into her deep kiss, feeling her arms going around his neck. While he kissed her lips, Spike moved over Willow and looking into her eyes, seeing passion and desire and feeling it within himself, he drove into her, going as far as he could go, needing to at this point.
The urgency of Spike’s entrance through frustrations, cut through her pleasant numbness as it did the membrane of her virginity and it stung. Willow tried to hide it and to take from Spike all that he gave. As he moved into her, though, however slow, the stinging increased enough that she bit her lower lip, tasting blood. Tears fell out of her eyes, even as she was happy to be giving this part of her to the man she always wanted to. When it was over, Willow watched as her lover looked into her eyes and saw…saw that he was her first. Wiping her tears with his hands and kissing her sweetly on her mouth, he said caring words to her and moving in the bed, he pulled her into his arms and held her, running his hand over her hair soothingly shortly after hearing her drifting off to sleep.
Willow had never known what it was like to be with someone…not until William or as she called him during passion, Spike. As she awakened an hour after it was over, she wondered if she had just given him something that could never be discussed. He had made sweet love to her, was romantic and every bit as passionate as she hoped, desiring her and creating desire in her for him. Yet knowing it couldn’t be discussed, being smart enough to know that, Willow turned on her side and wept more tears she wasn’t expecting, feeling the hollowness she had hoped to never feel after giving her innocence to someone….
Awkward was a nice way of describing how it was when William and Willow dressed the next day. William had not heard her tears in the night after he fell asleep. Willow preferred it that way. They would be hers to remember. They smiled at each other as they put on shoes and walked into the kitchen. Willow felt so vulnerable. There was nothing about her that William had not seen, touched, or discovered in that night. Discovering worst of all that her feelings for him were more than desire in the midst of it, was also for her to keep to herself. She would deal with it and go on, never expecting anything else from him. He had done what she had asked, he had shown her what it was like…and that..she thought inwardly would be enough.
As he got ready to leave, William looked at Willow, drawing her to him again. Taking her mouth with his, William kissed her sweetly and then he walked out the door. Willow walked down the stairs and watched out the main door of her apartment building as William drove away. Wiping a tear away, she walked back inside to take a shower. Walking into her room afterward in her towel, Willow glanced at her bed, noting for the first time the spot of blood on her sheets. Such a mixture of emotions went through Willow at that moment. Part of her felt William was the man she wanted to have her innocence and she didn’t regret giving it to him. While at the same time another part of her wished he could have stayed longer, that they could have talked about it more. Vulnerability she experienced earlier while dressing with him topped with these other feelings created a sad state for Willow…..
William unlocked his door to his apartment, went inside, shutting and locking, and quickly found his bed. He was tired!
Buffy wasn’t alone so much these days herself. She’d been dating a photographer named Cameron Winthrope, someone she was introduced to from Anya at the Bronze one night. Since the breakup that had nearly destroyed Buffy, she had stayed again to herself for a long time. But Anya found out and quickly brought her out of it. Insisting as she put it, that “Life went on. She had to get out there again.”
Despite what Anya said over dinner that same Saturday night while William and Willow were crossing uncharted waters, Buffy said, “I’m not you, Anya. I’m not an Ex-Demon. I can’t take two years of being intimate and just forget, taking another guy to bed. I’m not like that.”
Anya leveled her eyes with Buffy’s and said, “If you still love him, why are you dating Cameron?”
Buffy said, “Because too much has happened…and I know…I just have this feeling that something has happened with him and Willow.”
Anya said, “No way. Willow is too loyal for that.”
Buffy said, “You seen the tabloids?”
Anya rolled her eyes and said, “I’ve seen the same tabloids come out and then the stars say they are lies too. You can’t believe them all.”
Buffy felt tears in her eyes as she said, “He told me nothing happened, yet hesitated like something really did and he couldn’t tell me. I told him from the beginning, Anya, that I wouldn’t date someone who couldn’t be honest with me. Even if it hurts, I can’t handle dishonesty. From a friend or lover.”
When Anya just looked at her, Buffy shook out of her dismal mood and said, “Listen to me! It’s been two months. He’s undoubtedly moved on and I’m here talking about him like he’s…still here.”
Anya said, “I’m so sorry, Buffy. This sucks. He’s a jerk! A big mean jerk! How could he hurt you like that and not feel a bad curse coming over him? Come to think about it…” she smiled mischievously.
Buffy said, “No! No curses, Anya. No…” Toying with her food, Buffy said, “I don’t want to curse him. If he’s found someone else…or is with Willow, I have to accept it. She’s my best friend and he is an excellent fighter. Nobody said things were supposed to last forever. I don’t regret what we shared…even if I can’t tell him that. I don’t. He gave me two great years, plus over ten of dancing with the idea. I still like him as a friend…and I would fight to the death protecting him.”
Anya said, “Even if he moved in with Willow next week?”
Meeting her eyes with troubled ones, Buffy said, “I’m a slayer…and his friend. I couldn’t be a lover to anyone without being his friend first. William will always mean something to me. As much as it hurts like hell to say that, or to know that.” She wiped tears and continued to play with her food, unable to eat any of it.
Anya wished she could still be a demon some days. Seeing her best friend in pain this was one of those times. William would know the real face of being ousted. No one in the Scooby gang liked him right then. Let him come slaying Friday night and see what he got!
William moved about the following week bothered. He worked as hard as he could on his poetry, but nothing good seemed to come of it. He’d had one attempt at a break in…he guessed it was the same bastard trying to assassinate him, so he bought locks and an alarm system. He also kept a mischetti by his bed at night. Some things came in handy again, he thought. He changed his phone number to stop the pranks and boycotted the cameras. Returning to a hermit as he was as a vampire, William stayed in his apartment day and night. He thought of Willow and hoped she was okay. He couldn’t make himself go over there, not now. It was too bloody confusing! To have such a large part of his heart pulled to Buffy Summers and to at the same time be trying so hard to get over her was hard. He didn’t regret being with Willow for the fact that she was such a good friend and he felt he was sharing some of his pain with her, taking hers. This bond was something that helped him in a way with realizing nothing would ever be the same without Buffy. It created uncertainties in William about Buffy. So for that, William knew he couldn’t trouble Willow again. It would be selfish. William just wasn’t like that, not anymore. Truthfully, he wasn’t then either. When Friday night came, he tossed around the idea of going to the graveyard. Loyal to the job, though, he found himself walking over there. He didn’t bother to drive, tonight he needed a walk.
When he got there, so far no one else was there yet. Relieved since he hadn’t worked up some kind of rebuttal to whatever Xander or Giles would say, William flexed his hands and took a seat on one of the tombs. Suddenly, he spotted Buffy, heard her say, “Any action here tonight?”
Looking around, William said, “Not so far. But I just got here. How are you?”
Meeting his eyes, Buffy said, “I’m fine. You?”
William readjusted on the tomb, pulling his duster up more, then looking up at her he said, “I’m making it. My writing’s gone to hell, but then again every writer has a block once in awhile…I’m sure I read about it somewhere.”
Grinning, Buffy said, “I think I have too. Listen, William, I’m sorry. No matter what’s happened or hasn’t, I shouldn’t have acted that way.” She walked over to him. She said, “You’re still my friend. And I do trust you.”
William moved around her and said, “You shouldn’t. I’m a bastard. I’ve done things that make me question myself, selfish things.”
Buffy knew this was a risk, hearing it, now clearly seeing it in his eyes, so she said, “You aren’t a bastard for sleeping with Willow.”
He turned then and looked at her saying, “Aren’t I?”
Hearing the confirmation, Buffy took a few minutes to register what was going on now and looking at him again she said amazingly strong, “No…you’re not. We haven’t been together in two months, William.” Taking an uneven breath, Buffy asked, “So…are you…together?”
William said soundly, “No. Buffy I was telling the truth when I said we were just friends during that ordeal.” Looking to be sure Willow wasn’t near he said, “She had feelings for me that she wasn’t able to tell me. I dealt with it, feeling I loved you, but that she needed a friend. So we hung out together, often late, so I stayed the night. I slept on the couch.” Looking at her intently, William said, “I never touched her. My guess on this is that Ethan took some damning pictures and sent them to the tabloids. It looked bad, but it wasn’t.”
Buffy said, “So why did she run out that day?”
Facing Buffy he said, “I kissed her. It wasn’t a Let’s Fool Around on Buffy thing either. I saw her pain, I had seen it for days and I felt bad for her. We became friends…and I knew she had a crush on me. It was spontaneous, but ended shortly when I stopped it. When she realized what we’d done, she ran out feeling she’d betrayed you. So you saw her betrayal. Her self-condemnation.”
Buffy took this in as hard as it was and said, “Did you want to kiss her?”
William felt he could lie, but that wouldn’t get him anywhere, so he said, “Buffy I could lie to you and say she grabbed me and forced me into her arms…but that would be wrong. It happened.”
Buffy asked softly, “Why couldn’t’ you tell me that?”
William said, “Tell you that your best friend was interested in me? Destroy the bond that you had for umpteen years? I could have done that, but it wouldn’t have been fair.”
Feeling her heart falling more for him over this consideration, Buffy said, “Then I said you were sleeping with her, when you weren’t…and it caused you to go to her.”
Shaking his head, William said, “No. I had been friends with Willow for sometime. After we…broke things off…Willow and I shared our feelings about it. Call it rebound, I guess, but the feelings were there…at least for the moment. Now…I wonder how she’s doing, hoping she’s not hating herself.”
Buffy said guiltily, “I don’t know how she is. I’ve not gone to her house in a long time…bad Buffy strikes again.” Looking up at him, Buffy added, “No matter what happened, William, you’re still my friend. I…can’t believe I can say this…but I understand…and I forgive you.”
William was about to say something when everyone showed and he couldn’t.
It was almost simultaneous…the Scoobies arrived and so did Willow. She looked at Buffy, then let her eyes go to William’s and fixed on them she said vulnerably, “William. I didn’t know you were gonna be here.”
William said, “Neither did I.”
Willow without realizing it, walked over to where he stood and together they faced the rest, head on…
Giles said, “You have a lot of nerve showing here tonight, William.”
Anya picked up on it, on the intimacy that all but radiated off of them as they stood together. She said, “Willow? You…and William?”
Xander turned to Anya and said, “That can’t be true.” He looked at Willow and caught her vulnerable face and turning into a true jerk, he said, “How could you do that to Buffy? I thought you were her friend.”
Willow’s confidence dropped ninety degrees and she looked down. She said, “I…I never meant to hurt anyone. I was just so…I can’t stay here.”
William stopped her with his hand on hers as he said, “Yes you can.” Putting his arm around her shoulders, turning to face the group, William said, “You all stand there like you’re so superior to the two of us. Every one of you has done things that others might not understand or like. Xander you fooled around with Anya long before marrying her. Giles…well let’s not even go into that poofter history. But I know…there is something you have been hiding. It is there. So you all leave her alone.” Facing Buffy he said, “I never meant to take a shot at you by doing this. Never.”
Buffy said, “I know. Just like I know you didn’t do it to hurt me, Will.” Turning to the rest who were mumbling bad things, Buffy said, “William is right. We have too much fighting to do with the demons creeping in the dark to fight each other. If none of you can accept what has happened then go. You’re too hypocritical to be a part of this…and too big of liabilities. I want friends, who are there for me, for those I care about,” she turned to William and Willow as she said this. Then turning to the others Buffy finished, “So if you are going to stand and gape instead of helping, go home. We can manage fine.” Amazingly they did go home!
Buffy turned and looked at William who stood close to Willow and said, “I’m going to go steak out the other part of the cemetery. You two take this side. We’ll meet at ten. Okay?”
Nodding, William and Willow worked their side, trying to deal with what happened between them, their feelings, and their admiration for a woman who could still care about them despite everything….
TBC…
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Nineteen—Moving On…
Two Months Later…
“Willow it’s been two months. She hasn’t called me and when I’ve tried I get nothing.”
Willow sat with William in her kitchen that Saturday night and said with a look of understanding in her eyes, “She thinks…she thinks we fooled around. It has to hurt.” Looking down, she said, “We did cross a line, William. I should never have…told you those things. I’m sorry.”
William looked at Willow, catching her sadness and feeling for her he said, “Me too. But not for being your friend. I don’t regret that, Will.”
Willow looked into his eyes then and said touched, “Thanks.”
William nodded and taking another drink of his beer he said, “No problem. Well I should probably go.”
Nodding, Willow stood with him and said, “Oh…okay.” Walking him to the door she said, “We’ll work this out, William.”
William paused at the door and looking into Willow’s green eyes he said, “Some days I think it never should have lasted this long. We’re too alike in some ways…I’m beginning to think that warriors shouldn’t mix.”
Willow rolled her eyes and said, “Yeah, well I don’t have to worry about that. Thankfully I’m not a warrior. I’m more a sidekick in the fray of action.” She smiled, liking that analogy.
William said, ‘You are more than that, Willow.”
Feeling his hand on her shoulder, Willow felt things she knew she shouldn’t. They still existed. Desire coming into her eyes before she could look down, Willow said, “I…I think you should…go too.”
Shutting the door for a moment, William asked, “When I touch you…Willow you feel something. Don’t you?”
Backing up, Willow said insecurely, “I shouldn’t be talking to you about this. Buffy…”
William started to walk in Willow’s direction as he said, “Buffy doesn’t have a damn thing to do with it, Willow.”
Shaking her head, tending to agree but knowing it was probably selfish, Willow said, “No…I mean…you and she were engaged for a long time. I was engaged for a long time.” She continued to move back, he forward as she said, “I don’t understand it. It’s got to be rebound.”
William stopped when he realized she had. They were in the middle of her kitchen again. He said, “Rebound or not, it is there. I feel it too.” He said this lowly and then looking into her eyes, trying to find something in response, William caught it. He caught the fire and nodded. He said, “I can’t explain it either, Willow. I hear what you’re saying, I know that we were both attached for a long time. But those relationships are over. We have to move on.”
Willow said with a queer look in her face, showing that she was trying to fight herself as she said, “Yeah, but with each other?”
William said, “I’ve heard of it happening.” Pausing, catching the way she digested this, he continued, “Will, we need to talk about this before anything else can be resolved. How long have you felt this way?”
Willow said looking at his feet, “I’m ashamed to tell you that…to admit it to myself.” Looking up at him with a grin, figuring she had nothing else to lose, her relationship with Buffy was strained to the point of probably not existent anymore. So making herself look up at him, Willow said, “Since you got your chip…my early days in college.” Smiling, Willow confessed, “I used to watch you, secretly of course because you were bad Spike and we were supposed to repel you.” Chuckling then, Willow continued, “It was dumb and I always felt stupid. You were a part of our group as much as I was.” Catching the way he stared at her so directly, Willow continued nervously, “Anyway, I watched you when you didn’t see me, when no one did.” She lowered her eyes and continued, “Guys would ask me out…and I would go out, but nothing came of it.” Looking up at him she added, “You were my largest crush.”
William leaned against her island and said, “Why? You were an honor roll student, Will, a pride to your family. I was the epitome of destruction, no good. I was a bloody vampire, Willow.”
Willow looked up at him, wishing she could walk closer, but fearing if she did she’d never tell him everything. So she stayed where she was and shrugging her shoulders, Willow said, “I know. Maybe I was attracted because you were so different. You rode a kick ass bike, left your hair blonde and wore those cool black clothes…that leather.” Blushing she continued, “Do you know how long I sat in my room, wishing I could be bad just once? That I could have the courage to tell you these things…back before you got together with Buffy? Then kicking myself for the coward I was for not being able to when I could?” Facing him fully now she finished, “It was awful, William. It still is.”
William walked closer to Willow until he was within arm’s reach of her. He replied quietly, “I should be flattered then, I suppose.”
Willow turned away and said, “Don’t be. Please. That just makes me sound worse. Little Willow flattering a big time poet.”
William said, “I don’t see it that way. And though I should be, I’m not flattered right now.”
Turning, Willow said with a curious face, “Really? Well, good. I…I don’t think…”
William moved in the rest of the way, “Best not to, love.”
William aggressively yanked her to him in a style that would have a lot of lonely housewives inching closer to their TV’s. Not bothering this time to be noble, William lowered his head and kissed her passionately on the mouth.
Unable to stop herself, Willow kissed him back, pushing him back so they danced. This lasted a few minutes, then breathless, Willow pulled back so she could look up at him. She said, “This is…insane.”
Nodding, William kissed her briefly on the mouth as he said, “Insane.”
Willow said unable to stop talking, “It is reckless…it is…” Feeling his body as he moved with her against the door jamb, hearing him ask, “It’s what, Will?” He paused, waiting for her answer.
Willow couldn’t fight it anymore. She’d fought off these feelings for years and it was too much tonight. She was not going to able to walk around him this time. Looking up into his eyes and said, “I don’t know what it is…I wish I did. But I know I can’t ignore this anymore.” She looked into his eyes, at his mouth, then down over the rest of him. When she looked back up into his eyes she saw they were darkened. This was it.
Looking him in the eyes, Willow walked up to him, her needs and passion she was sure quite apparent by now, as she said, “Show me Spike. Show me what it’s like to be bad.” Willow watched as his eyes became predatory, as they looked her over. Willow felt the same intensity inside, wanting him to take the lead and show her what it felt like to be loved, wanting Spike.
As soon as she said those words, Willow didn’t have to think about it or anything. Spike grabbed her into his arms, kissing her to the point of rough. Willow liked it, she kissed him back, feeling him lifting her, carrying her to the island in her kitchen. Continuing the passionate kiss so that it was drugging and lasting, so it had Willow leaning up against him intimately, kissing him desperately, Spike lowered his kisses to her neck. Willow dropped her head back and holding onto his shoulders, she felt as he kissed her down her longish neck. She sucked in breath as he began opening buttons to her burgundy shirt, kissing her down with each button he released. Feeling as he lowered her back against the island, Willow knew that there was no turning back.
Having her shirt opened, Willow watched and felt as he kissed her from her neck, on down to the button of her jeans. Needing the shirt off of her,
Willow moved around fighting to get it off. Spike lifted her enough to help, saying, “Here, love.” Choosing now while he held her in his arms to do this, Spike unhooked the back of her bra, pulling it off. Taking a look over her, he said, “You’re so beautiful, Willow.” Willow said, “Am I? I never…saw myself that way.”
Spike lowered his hands to her breasts, watching her interest and said, “Trust me. You are.” Smiling, Willow said, “Thank-you.” Spike lifted her chin with one hand, holding her against him with the other and lowering his mouth to hers, he kissed her deeply. Willow kissed him back, for the moment wrapping her arms around his neck and letting herself enjoy the kiss.
Needing to see him too, Willow made her hands be bold as she reached for his shirt. Pulling his black shirt up over his head, Willow ran her hands over his chest, over his shoulders, through his hair. Drug back into his kisses, Willow felt as he kissed her neck, so tantalizingly that Willow moaned, feeling him leaning down over her, on the island, feeling his skin next to hers.
Spike lowered his mouth and kissed her breasts in ways she never thought could stimulate her. Excited and proven very wrong, Willow stretched out her arms, letting him have more access. She called his name—calling out Spike—and he seemed to be okay with it. Kissing her lower, he continued to heat her up until her eyes became clouded and teary. Her jeans were still on!
Discovering she was ready for htem not to be, Willow lowered her hands to the buttons of them and felt them stilled by Spike’s. She heard him chuckle and say, “For that we’ll go into your bedroom.” Picking her up, he carried her back to her bedroom.
Kissing her all the while, he lowered her to her yellow sheets. Lowering his hands, to her jeans, he unbuttoned them, while moving his hot kisses to her neck again. He was successfully getting her mind off of what he was doing and onto what it felt like to be kissed. Before Willow knew it, he had her jeans off of her as well as her panties. Enjoying this, Spike started his kisses down her body again.
Willow felt his kisses, knowing she was beyond reasoning now, totally his. Without knowing it—being so absorbed in his seduction—Willow barely knew when he opened her legs. When he kissed her in her intimate place, Willow knew it. She was about to say something in question as this was so new, when he took command and made this part of her as much his as the rest of her.
Willow felt something building inside and knew somehow that it was because of what Spike was doing to her. Willow discovered that she was unable to stop him or the way she moved recklessly on her sheets, or the sweat that poured out of her over the experience.
Something wild was happening to her during this because Willow caught herself digging her hands into her pillow. Her voice was becoming panty, tears were falling out of her eyes and she was beginning to feel an incredible ache in her lower belly that she had never known in this degree. It was at this point that Willow forgot every nice girl rule she had ever displayed and went totally on desire. While he continued to get to know her, Willow clamped her toes into the mattress and as he held her legs to have what he needed, Willow moved her body against him very provocatively. Speaking through this maze, Willow unknowingly said, “Spike. Take me. I want you…inside me. I need…to…feel…you…” That was as far as Willow got before her body gave way to a new awakening. She screamed out loud, “Oh…Spike!” as she reached orgasm for the first time, hearing his moans as he brought her there.
Leaning his head to her ear he said breathy, “Will…listen for a second.” Willow was pleasantly adjusting to the realm of contentment, but she could hear him still and she nodded. He asked, “You on something? Birth control…I mean.” Willow said, “Mmmm.” Spike kissed her face, her neck and said, “Honey I need to know…” Willow brought herself to enough to see what he was asking. She said quietly, “No…I’m not…but it’s okay. I’ll risk it.”
Spike kissed her lips and moving away from her for a minute, he put on protection that he carried along with him. In this world, you couldn’t be too careful.
Climbing back in with her, he took her mouth into her deep kiss, feeling her arms going around his neck. While he kissed her lips, Spike moved over Willow and looking into her eyes, seeing passion and desire and feeling it within himself, he drove into her, going as far as he could go, needing to at this point.
The urgency of Spike’s entrance through frustrations, cut through her pleasant numbness as it did the membrane of her virginity and it stung. Willow tried to hide it and to take from Spike all that he gave. As he moved into her, though, however slow, the stinging increased enough that she bit her lower lip, tasting blood. Tears fell out of her eyes, even as she was happy to be giving this part of her to the man she always wanted to. When it was over, Willow watched as her lover looked into her eyes and saw…saw that he was her first. Wiping her tears with his hands and kissing her sweetly on her mouth, he said caring words to her and moving in the bed, he pulled her into his arms and held her, running his hand over her hair soothingly shortly after hearing her drifting off to sleep.
Willow had never known what it was like to be with someone…not until William or as she called him during passion, Spike. As she awakened an hour after it was over, she wondered if she had just given him something that could never be discussed. He had made sweet love to her, was romantic and every bit as passionate as she hoped, desiring her and creating desire in her for him. Yet knowing it couldn’t be discussed, being smart enough to know that, Willow turned on her side and wept more tears she wasn’t expecting, feeling the hollowness she had hoped to never feel after giving her innocence to someone….
Awkward was a nice way of describing how it was when William and Willow dressed the next day. William had not heard her tears in the night after he fell asleep. Willow preferred it that way. They would be hers to remember. They smiled at each other as they put on shoes and walked into the kitchen. Willow felt so vulnerable. There was nothing about her that William had not seen, touched, or discovered in that night. Discovering worst of all that her feelings for him were more than desire in the midst of it, was also for her to keep to herself. She would deal with it and go on, never expecting anything else from him. He had done what she had asked, he had shown her what it was like…and that..she thought inwardly would be enough.
As he got ready to leave, William looked at Willow, drawing her to him again. Taking her mouth with his, William kissed her sweetly and then he walked out the door. Willow walked down the stairs and watched out the main door of her apartment building as William drove away. Wiping a tear away, she walked back inside to take a shower. Walking into her room afterward in her towel, Willow glanced at her bed, noting for the first time the spot of blood on her sheets. Such a mixture of emotions went through Willow at that moment. Part of her felt William was the man she wanted to have her innocence and she didn’t regret giving it to him. While at the same time another part of her wished he could have stayed longer, that they could have talked about it more. Vulnerability she experienced earlier while dressing with him topped with these other feelings created a sad state for Willow…..
William unlocked his door to his apartment, went inside, shutting and locking, and quickly found his bed. He was tired!
Buffy wasn’t alone so much these days herself. She’d been dating a photographer named Cameron Winthrope, someone she was introduced to from Anya at the Bronze one night. Since the breakup that had nearly destroyed Buffy, she had stayed again to herself for a long time. But Anya found out and quickly brought her out of it. Insisting as she put it, that “Life went on. She had to get out there again.”
Despite what Anya said over dinner that same Saturday night while William and Willow were crossing uncharted waters, Buffy said, “I’m not you, Anya. I’m not an Ex-Demon. I can’t take two years of being intimate and just forget, taking another guy to bed. I’m not like that.”
Anya leveled her eyes with Buffy’s and said, “If you still love him, why are you dating Cameron?”
Buffy said, “Because too much has happened…and I know…I just have this feeling that something has happened with him and Willow.”
Anya said, “No way. Willow is too loyal for that.”
Buffy said, “You seen the tabloids?”
Anya rolled her eyes and said, “I’ve seen the same tabloids come out and then the stars say they are lies too. You can’t believe them all.”
Buffy felt tears in her eyes as she said, “He told me nothing happened, yet hesitated like something really did and he couldn’t tell me. I told him from the beginning, Anya, that I wouldn’t date someone who couldn’t be honest with me. Even if it hurts, I can’t handle dishonesty. From a friend or lover.”
When Anya just looked at her, Buffy shook out of her dismal mood and said, “Listen to me! It’s been two months. He’s undoubtedly moved on and I’m here talking about him like he’s…still here.”
Anya said, “I’m so sorry, Buffy. This sucks. He’s a jerk! A big mean jerk! How could he hurt you like that and not feel a bad curse coming over him? Come to think about it…” she smiled mischievously.
Buffy said, “No! No curses, Anya. No…” Toying with her food, Buffy said, “I don’t want to curse him. If he’s found someone else…or is with Willow, I have to accept it. She’s my best friend and he is an excellent fighter. Nobody said things were supposed to last forever. I don’t regret what we shared…even if I can’t tell him that. I don’t. He gave me two great years, plus over ten of dancing with the idea. I still like him as a friend…and I would fight to the death protecting him.”
Anya said, “Even if he moved in with Willow next week?”
Meeting her eyes with troubled ones, Buffy said, “I’m a slayer…and his friend. I couldn’t be a lover to anyone without being his friend first. William will always mean something to me. As much as it hurts like hell to say that, or to know that.” She wiped tears and continued to play with her food, unable to eat any of it.
Anya wished she could still be a demon some days. Seeing her best friend in pain this was one of those times. William would know the real face of being ousted. No one in the Scooby gang liked him right then. Let him come slaying Friday night and see what he got!
William moved about the following week bothered. He worked as hard as he could on his poetry, but nothing good seemed to come of it. He’d had one attempt at a break in…he guessed it was the same bastard trying to assassinate him, so he bought locks and an alarm system. He also kept a mischetti by his bed at night. Some things came in handy again, he thought. He changed his phone number to stop the pranks and boycotted the cameras. Returning to a hermit as he was as a vampire, William stayed in his apartment day and night. He thought of Willow and hoped she was okay. He couldn’t make himself go over there, not now. It was too bloody confusing! To have such a large part of his heart pulled to Buffy Summers and to at the same time be trying so hard to get over her was hard. He didn’t regret being with Willow for the fact that she was such a good friend and he felt he was sharing some of his pain with her, taking hers. This bond was something that helped him in a way with realizing nothing would ever be the same without Buffy. It created uncertainties in William about Buffy. So for that, William knew he couldn’t trouble Willow again. It would be selfish. William just wasn’t like that, not anymore. Truthfully, he wasn’t then either. When Friday night came, he tossed around the idea of going to the graveyard. Loyal to the job, though, he found himself walking over there. He didn’t bother to drive, tonight he needed a walk.
When he got there, so far no one else was there yet. Relieved since he hadn’t worked up some kind of rebuttal to whatever Xander or Giles would say, William flexed his hands and took a seat on one of the tombs. Suddenly, he spotted Buffy, heard her say, “Any action here tonight?”
Looking around, William said, “Not so far. But I just got here. How are you?”
Meeting his eyes, Buffy said, “I’m fine. You?”
William readjusted on the tomb, pulling his duster up more, then looking up at her he said, “I’m making it. My writing’s gone to hell, but then again every writer has a block once in awhile…I’m sure I read about it somewhere.”
Grinning, Buffy said, “I think I have too. Listen, William, I’m sorry. No matter what’s happened or hasn’t, I shouldn’t have acted that way.” She walked over to him. She said, “You’re still my friend. And I do trust you.”
William moved around her and said, “You shouldn’t. I’m a bastard. I’ve done things that make me question myself, selfish things.”
Buffy knew this was a risk, hearing it, now clearly seeing it in his eyes, so she said, “You aren’t a bastard for sleeping with Willow.”
He turned then and looked at her saying, “Aren’t I?”
Hearing the confirmation, Buffy took a few minutes to register what was going on now and looking at him again she said amazingly strong, “No…you’re not. We haven’t been together in two months, William.” Taking an uneven breath, Buffy asked, “So…are you…together?”
William said soundly, “No. Buffy I was telling the truth when I said we were just friends during that ordeal.” Looking to be sure Willow wasn’t near he said, “She had feelings for me that she wasn’t able to tell me. I dealt with it, feeling I loved you, but that she needed a friend. So we hung out together, often late, so I stayed the night. I slept on the couch.” Looking at her intently, William said, “I never touched her. My guess on this is that Ethan took some damning pictures and sent them to the tabloids. It looked bad, but it wasn’t.”
Buffy said, “So why did she run out that day?”
Facing Buffy he said, “I kissed her. It wasn’t a Let’s Fool Around on Buffy thing either. I saw her pain, I had seen it for days and I felt bad for her. We became friends…and I knew she had a crush on me. It was spontaneous, but ended shortly when I stopped it. When she realized what we’d done, she ran out feeling she’d betrayed you. So you saw her betrayal. Her self-condemnation.”
Buffy took this in as hard as it was and said, “Did you want to kiss her?”
William felt he could lie, but that wouldn’t get him anywhere, so he said, “Buffy I could lie to you and say she grabbed me and forced me into her arms…but that would be wrong. It happened.”
Buffy asked softly, “Why couldn’t’ you tell me that?”
William said, “Tell you that your best friend was interested in me? Destroy the bond that you had for umpteen years? I could have done that, but it wouldn’t have been fair.”
Feeling her heart falling more for him over this consideration, Buffy said, “Then I said you were sleeping with her, when you weren’t…and it caused you to go to her.”
Shaking his head, William said, “No. I had been friends with Willow for sometime. After we…broke things off…Willow and I shared our feelings about it. Call it rebound, I guess, but the feelings were there…at least for the moment. Now…I wonder how she’s doing, hoping she’s not hating herself.”
Buffy said guiltily, “I don’t know how she is. I’ve not gone to her house in a long time…bad Buffy strikes again.” Looking up at him, Buffy added, “No matter what happened, William, you’re still my friend. I…can’t believe I can say this…but I understand…and I forgive you.”
William was about to say something when everyone showed and he couldn’t.
It was almost simultaneous…the Scoobies arrived and so did Willow. She looked at Buffy, then let her eyes go to William’s and fixed on them she said vulnerably, “William. I didn’t know you were gonna be here.”
William said, “Neither did I.”
Willow without realizing it, walked over to where he stood and together they faced the rest, head on…
Giles said, “You have a lot of nerve showing here tonight, William.”
Anya picked up on it, on the intimacy that all but radiated off of them as they stood together. She said, “Willow? You…and William?”
Xander turned to Anya and said, “That can’t be true.” He looked at Willow and caught her vulnerable face and turning into a true jerk, he said, “How could you do that to Buffy? I thought you were her friend.”
Willow’s confidence dropped ninety degrees and she looked down. She said, “I…I never meant to hurt anyone. I was just so…I can’t stay here.”
William stopped her with his hand on hers as he said, “Yes you can.” Putting his arm around her shoulders, turning to face the group, William said, “You all stand there like you’re so superior to the two of us. Every one of you has done things that others might not understand or like. Xander you fooled around with Anya long before marrying her. Giles…well let’s not even go into that poofter history. But I know…there is something you have been hiding. It is there. So you all leave her alone.” Facing Buffy he said, “I never meant to take a shot at you by doing this. Never.”
Buffy said, “I know. Just like I know you didn’t do it to hurt me, Will.” Turning to the rest who were mumbling bad things, Buffy said, “William is right. We have too much fighting to do with the demons creeping in the dark to fight each other. If none of you can accept what has happened then go. You’re too hypocritical to be a part of this…and too big of liabilities. I want friends, who are there for me, for those I care about,” she turned to William and Willow as she said this. Then turning to the others Buffy finished, “So if you are going to stand and gape instead of helping, go home. We can manage fine.” Amazingly they did go home!
Buffy turned and looked at William who stood close to Willow and said, “I’m going to go steak out the other part of the cemetery. You two take this side. We’ll meet at ten. Okay?”
Nodding, William and Willow worked their side, trying to deal with what happened between them, their feelings, and their admiration for a woman who could still care about them despite everything….
TBC…
Last edited by angelrose242000 on Sun Sep 05, 2004 1:26 am, edited 2 times in total.
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angelrose242000
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Re: A Love She Couldn't Deny
A Love She Couldn’t Deny
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Twenty—The Consequences of Being Bad…
Two Months Later…
January 5, 2010
William was in the middle of his writing that night when he heard his doorbell jingling. Getting up in his sweats and Lakers T-shirt, William looked in the peephole, saw Willow and opened the door. She looked somber.
Willow said, “I…I need to talk to you, William. Can…Can I come in?”
Nodding, William said, “Sure. Come in.” Willow walked over the threshold uneasily but knowing she had to be here for the moment.
William saw her shaky mood and he was concerned. He guided her into the living room saying, “What’s going on? Is something wrong with the Scoobies?”
Shaking her head, Willow sat on his couch. She said, “It’s not about the Scoobies…” Letting out a heavy sigh she continued, “It’s not about Buffy or Giles. It’s me. I’m a mess, William. You remember the things I said that night…about my crush on you?”
Nodding, taking a seat beside her, William said, “Yeah, I remember.”
Willow said, “Well…I think it was more than that. It feels more.”
William looked at Willow and said, “I care about you too, Willow.” Willow said, “No…I’m not talking about caring for a friend that you’ve known for years…William…I’m saying I think I’ve fallen for you.”
William took in how hard it evidently was for her to say this and so he said gently, “Willow, honey, you’ve gotten me speechless. I don’t know what to say…”
Willow said while wiping tears, “There’s nothing to say, William. Except that I am leaving Sunnydale.”
William said, “What? Why?”
Willow said, “If I tell you it will only cause things to happen. Either we’ll wind up shouting at each other or…worse…” She’d already lost her pride and her dignity and was daily despising herself for hurting William and Buffy and their relationship in her need to be with William that night. She’d secretly wanted to be loved by Spike, but not at this cost…it hurt too much, Willow thought sadly.
William said, “That’s a risk we’ll have to take. Come on, Will, we’re too close of friends to not share this.”
Willow broke down and said, “I don’t know how you felt after being with me. You didn’t say…I figured you regretted it. It’s understandable…what with your feelings for Buffy. But even if you did regret it, I didn’t want to. You were my first, William.”
William said, “I know it.”
Willow looked at him and said, “Do you know how degrading and stupid I feel knowing I made love with you initially because of desire, so I could live out my lonely fantasy? Only to find out that it was more than that…but I can’t talk about it with anyone or see it as beautiful?” Standing and pacing now, Willow said, wiping her tears, angry they were there, “I was a mistress. I gave my virginity like a whore to someone in love with someone else… my best friend. That hurts, William. So does looking at this whole picture and seeing that you were only with me out of pity.” She shook with tears.
William regretted her pain. Unable to stop himself, he moved to her, he took her into his arms and said ashamed, “I am so sorry, Willow. I should have been stronger that night, said goodnight and sent you home.”
Willow said broken-hearted, “So you do regret it then?”
William said, “No, I don’t regret making love to you, Willow. You’re a sweet girl, a great friend, and I care a lot about you. I didn’t sleep with you out of pity either. I don’t play that game.”
Willow said vulnerably as she held onto his forearms, “A lot do.”
William said firmly, “Maybe so, but they aren’t me. Willow I don’t sleep with just anyone. I can count with a hand how many women I’ve been with.” Seeing her surprise he said, “Yeah. Look, I won’t deny that I didn’t feel bad for you, because you had been through a lot. But when we made love it was what I wanted to do. It was reckless, it was insane, as you said, but I did want you, Willow.”
Willow backed away from him so they could talk and so her fuzzy feelings wouldn’t lead her places that would only hurt him later. He needed Buffy and she needed him. Her own love feelings would have to remain within her, Willow thought sadly.
Wiping more tears then she said, “How are things now with you and Buffy?”
William said, “We’re friends. She is seeing someone…that was hard for me to take in the beginning, but I think it is good now. She deserves it.”
Willow said feeling for him, “I’m sorry, William.”
William said, “Careful, Will. I don’t want to be pitied either.”
Willow asked, “So are you going to stay in Sunnydale?”
Nodding, William said, “I’ve got fighting on Friday and Saturday nights to keep me here. And I do work here. When are you heading out?”
Holding her hands clasped in front of her, Willow said, “Tomorrow afternoon. I have a flight at three. I’m going to go see my parents…I think I need the change.”
Understanding, William walked to a safe distance that was closer to her so he could look at her fully, get her to see. He said, “Change is good. Before you, go Willow, I want to tell you that I never and I mean never saw you as a whore or a homewrecker to me and Buffy. We had issues before that ever happened…they broke us apart once and would have again even if you and I had never slept together. I will always remember that night, see it as special, because it was shared with you—someone who doesn’t look at me and see all the bad I’ve done…who doesn’t doubt me. Thank you for letting me see that side of you that others can’t.”
Smiling fondly, Willow said, “Sure…Thank you for how good you’ve been about this.” He had been too, Willow knew. He could have been a real jerk, hated her for how things ended with Buffy, blamed her for it, but he hadn’t done anything like that. Instead, he gave her what she needed to hear the honest truth of how he felt about being with her. She didn’t feel so dirty now, but still glum about it causing pain for Buffy and betrayal to Xander and the others. Trying to ignore this for now, Willow looked at the dust on his in tables and said with a sly smile, “You really do need to dust, William. Just a personal note before I go.” Wiping more tears she walked to him and said, “It isn’t right, but I’m going to do it anyway.” She grabbed his opening on his shirt and looking up at him innocently she said, “One more time…kiss me, William.”
William lowered his head and kissed her sweetly, taking her kiss and kissing her again. Breaking apart, William said, “Have a safe flight. Call me when you get there.”
Willow said, “I will.” She walked to his door and opening it, she said, “Don’t give up on Buffy. She’ll come back, William. You just have to…give her time.”
With that she walked out and left William to stand and ponder what the hell to do next. His writing was out. So was watching Willow leave without going to Buffy and warning her first….
Taking a chance, William drove his firebird over to Buffy’s place. He saw her Miata there, so maybe that was a good thing. She might be home. Of course he knew he could be wrong, she could be off in Cameron’s Plymouth. William wasn’t such a male chauvinist that he had dark thoughts about Cameron and Buffy. He sure as hell couldn’t have them now even if he was that kind of guy! Not when he was coming to her house…to talk about Willow.
Knocking on her front door, William waited. He waited long enough to question if this was a good idea. He itched for a smoke and reached in his inside pocket of his duster, grabbing one out and lit it as Buffy turned on the porch light.
Buffy saw William and was worried. What was wrong? He hadn’t been here in…a long time. She opened the door and said, “William.”
William said, “Hey, Buffy. I hope I’m not bugging you or intruding.”
Shaking her head, Buffy said, “No, not at all. I was…just unwinding on the couch, watching TV. Come in.”
Stepping inside, William said, “Thanks.” He took in the house. It held so many memories that William nearly left it because of how it got to him being in it now. He watched as Buffy shut the door and locked it, then walked over to him. She said, “I take it this isn’t a friendly visit.”
William tried to act ignorant saying, “Why do you say that?”
Buffy gave him a long look and said, “I’ve known you long enough to be able to tell when something’s up. What is it?”
William said, “Can we go into the kitchen…or living room?”
Buffy looked deeper into his eyes, questioningly and said concerned, “This is serious. Come on.”
They walked to the living room. Buffy flipped off the TV and turning to William she said, “Okay you have my attention.”
William started to put out his cigarette and said, “Mind?”
Letting her eyebrows raise and fall, shrugging, Buffy said, “Makes no difference to me. Again too much history not to be used to that.”
He took a seat initially and said, “Willow stopped by my place tonight.”
Buffy said, “Willow.”
William said, “Yeah. I wouldn’t bring her up to you, Buffy, but you are still her friend…and I still see you as mine.”
Buffy dropped across from him on the EZ chair and said, “We are friends, so yeah, it’s okay to talk about her to me. What’s up?”
William let out a deep breath and said, “She is leaving Sunnydale, Buffy.”
Shocked, Buffy said, “What? Why is she doing that?”
William looked Buffy in the eyes and said, “You want her version or mine?”
Buffy said lowly, “Either. You pick.”
William said just as dryly, “According to Will she is flying out to see her parents for a change.”
Buffy said, “She can’t stand her parents. That’s why they live in New York and she lives here. It’s more than that.”
William said, “You’re right. It is. She’s in love with me, Buffy.” He paused, seeing Buffy’s hurt eyes taking that in and said, “Yeah. I know. I didn’t expect it either, but here it is. Apparently when we were together it was more for her. She’s devastated Buffy. Again, another screw up on my part. She’s leaving because she can’t face what she has done.” Meeting her eyes he said, “You need to know that it was a mutual thing, that at that moment, I did want to be with her. It was rebound, I’m sure, but it existed.”
Buffy let out a deep breath and said, “I didn’t think she tied you up and forced you into it, William. I appreciate your honesty. I need to hear it.”
William would have said something comforting to Buffy, but at the time Willow and his concerns for her were on his mind, in his heart to a degree. He said, “She feels like a whore and can’t talk to you because she hates herself too much.”
Buffy said, “I hope you told her she wasn’t…that she shouldn’t hate herself.” Buffy felt tears coming to her eyes now at the pain that Willow was going through. Pain that Buffy was too selfish for awhile to recognize or consider.
William said, “I told her she wasn’t. Hell, Buffy, I of all people knew I was her first…and I’m being selfish talking to you about it. I should go.”
Buffy stopped him with a firm hand pushing him back down as she said, “No, you need to talk. I can see it. So continue.”
William looked down at nothing and said, “I heard her pain that night and I should have sent her home. But I wasn’t myself. I was upset over our breakup. She told me things that got to me, Buffy. They were sweet to hear and hit me in ways I didn’t expect. I acted. She could never be a whore even if she’d been with half of Sunnydale…because I initiated it.”
Buffy saw his pain, heard how it affected the way he spoke, and feeling for him she said through tears, “You hate yourself too.”
Looking up at Buffy again he said, “Yes! I was older, I should have known better. I didn’t care. I wanted her, saw the way she wanted me and acted on it.”
Buffy said, “We all make mistakes, William. We all screw up. God knows I have!”
William said, “I know.”
Shaking her head, Buffy said, “I wasn’t talking about us. I’m talking in general. I’ve made mistakes too.”
William asked, “Have you ever hurt someone else in the process of it?”
Staring right into his eyes, Buffy said, “Oh yes. I have. I didn’t trust you, just the closest person to me. I regret that so badly, William.”
William said, “I’ll heal, but will she?”
Buffy said, “She was a grown adult when she gave herself to you, William. You are not responsible for her choice. You made one too, yeah, but she went to you of free will. Willow doesn’t do anything unless it is of her own choice. You’ve done all you can.”
William said, “It somehow doesn’t feel that way.”
Buffy said, “Because you care about her…maybe more than even you realized. Look, I appreciate you coming here and telling me this.”
William stood and said, “I felt you’d want to know. Thanks…for listening.” He started to walk toward her front door when Buffy said, “William?”
Turning he said, “Yeah?”
Buffy replied, “If you love her, then you need to tell her that.”
William said, “I’m in love with you, Buffy.”
Buffy said, “At one time, yeah. We were. But things change. I’m seeing Cameron more than I used to.”
William said, “He good to you?”
Smiling fondly, Buffy said, “Yeah, he is. He’s romantic and kind and takes me to fancy restaurants.”
William nodded and said, “I’m glad. You deserve that, Buffy.”
Buffy said, “Yeah, so quit beating yourself up. Whether it is a one time thing or a relationship starting, it is your life, William. Live it. Meantime, I need to make a run out to her place myself. I feel it’s past time.”
William said, “I was hoping you would.”
Smiling up at him, Buffy said, “Come here.” He walked to her and she felt he was a lost soldier come home from battle. She hugged him saying, “Want to come with me, so I can officially tell her you can date her?”
“Buffy I never said I wanted to date her…”
Buffy said, “Yeah, well I am not blind either. I was for a long time, but I’ve opened my eyes.”
William said, “If we do this, it may mean never getting together again.”
Buffy swallowed that reality back and said, “Maybe not. But if it turns out that we don’t get back together, we will always be best friends. Always, William.”
William leaned down and kissed her on the cheek saying, “Always.”
They walked outside and William said, “I’ll follow you over.”
Nodding, Buffy said, “Works for me.”
TBC…
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Twenty—The Consequences of Being Bad…
Two Months Later…
January 5, 2010
William was in the middle of his writing that night when he heard his doorbell jingling. Getting up in his sweats and Lakers T-shirt, William looked in the peephole, saw Willow and opened the door. She looked somber.
Willow said, “I…I need to talk to you, William. Can…Can I come in?”
Nodding, William said, “Sure. Come in.” Willow walked over the threshold uneasily but knowing she had to be here for the moment.
William saw her shaky mood and he was concerned. He guided her into the living room saying, “What’s going on? Is something wrong with the Scoobies?”
Shaking her head, Willow sat on his couch. She said, “It’s not about the Scoobies…” Letting out a heavy sigh she continued, “It’s not about Buffy or Giles. It’s me. I’m a mess, William. You remember the things I said that night…about my crush on you?”
Nodding, taking a seat beside her, William said, “Yeah, I remember.”
Willow said, “Well…I think it was more than that. It feels more.”
William looked at Willow and said, “I care about you too, Willow.” Willow said, “No…I’m not talking about caring for a friend that you’ve known for years…William…I’m saying I think I’ve fallen for you.”
William took in how hard it evidently was for her to say this and so he said gently, “Willow, honey, you’ve gotten me speechless. I don’t know what to say…”
Willow said while wiping tears, “There’s nothing to say, William. Except that I am leaving Sunnydale.”
William said, “What? Why?”
Willow said, “If I tell you it will only cause things to happen. Either we’ll wind up shouting at each other or…worse…” She’d already lost her pride and her dignity and was daily despising herself for hurting William and Buffy and their relationship in her need to be with William that night. She’d secretly wanted to be loved by Spike, but not at this cost…it hurt too much, Willow thought sadly.
William said, “That’s a risk we’ll have to take. Come on, Will, we’re too close of friends to not share this.”
Willow broke down and said, “I don’t know how you felt after being with me. You didn’t say…I figured you regretted it. It’s understandable…what with your feelings for Buffy. But even if you did regret it, I didn’t want to. You were my first, William.”
William said, “I know it.”
Willow looked at him and said, “Do you know how degrading and stupid I feel knowing I made love with you initially because of desire, so I could live out my lonely fantasy? Only to find out that it was more than that…but I can’t talk about it with anyone or see it as beautiful?” Standing and pacing now, Willow said, wiping her tears, angry they were there, “I was a mistress. I gave my virginity like a whore to someone in love with someone else… my best friend. That hurts, William. So does looking at this whole picture and seeing that you were only with me out of pity.” She shook with tears.
William regretted her pain. Unable to stop himself, he moved to her, he took her into his arms and said ashamed, “I am so sorry, Willow. I should have been stronger that night, said goodnight and sent you home.”
Willow said broken-hearted, “So you do regret it then?”
William said, “No, I don’t regret making love to you, Willow. You’re a sweet girl, a great friend, and I care a lot about you. I didn’t sleep with you out of pity either. I don’t play that game.”
Willow said vulnerably as she held onto his forearms, “A lot do.”
William said firmly, “Maybe so, but they aren’t me. Willow I don’t sleep with just anyone. I can count with a hand how many women I’ve been with.” Seeing her surprise he said, “Yeah. Look, I won’t deny that I didn’t feel bad for you, because you had been through a lot. But when we made love it was what I wanted to do. It was reckless, it was insane, as you said, but I did want you, Willow.”
Willow backed away from him so they could talk and so her fuzzy feelings wouldn’t lead her places that would only hurt him later. He needed Buffy and she needed him. Her own love feelings would have to remain within her, Willow thought sadly.
Wiping more tears then she said, “How are things now with you and Buffy?”
William said, “We’re friends. She is seeing someone…that was hard for me to take in the beginning, but I think it is good now. She deserves it.”
Willow said feeling for him, “I’m sorry, William.”
William said, “Careful, Will. I don’t want to be pitied either.”
Willow asked, “So are you going to stay in Sunnydale?”
Nodding, William said, “I’ve got fighting on Friday and Saturday nights to keep me here. And I do work here. When are you heading out?”
Holding her hands clasped in front of her, Willow said, “Tomorrow afternoon. I have a flight at three. I’m going to go see my parents…I think I need the change.”
Understanding, William walked to a safe distance that was closer to her so he could look at her fully, get her to see. He said, “Change is good. Before you, go Willow, I want to tell you that I never and I mean never saw you as a whore or a homewrecker to me and Buffy. We had issues before that ever happened…they broke us apart once and would have again even if you and I had never slept together. I will always remember that night, see it as special, because it was shared with you—someone who doesn’t look at me and see all the bad I’ve done…who doesn’t doubt me. Thank you for letting me see that side of you that others can’t.”
Smiling fondly, Willow said, “Sure…Thank you for how good you’ve been about this.” He had been too, Willow knew. He could have been a real jerk, hated her for how things ended with Buffy, blamed her for it, but he hadn’t done anything like that. Instead, he gave her what she needed to hear the honest truth of how he felt about being with her. She didn’t feel so dirty now, but still glum about it causing pain for Buffy and betrayal to Xander and the others. Trying to ignore this for now, Willow looked at the dust on his in tables and said with a sly smile, “You really do need to dust, William. Just a personal note before I go.” Wiping more tears she walked to him and said, “It isn’t right, but I’m going to do it anyway.” She grabbed his opening on his shirt and looking up at him innocently she said, “One more time…kiss me, William.”
William lowered his head and kissed her sweetly, taking her kiss and kissing her again. Breaking apart, William said, “Have a safe flight. Call me when you get there.”
Willow said, “I will.” She walked to his door and opening it, she said, “Don’t give up on Buffy. She’ll come back, William. You just have to…give her time.”
With that she walked out and left William to stand and ponder what the hell to do next. His writing was out. So was watching Willow leave without going to Buffy and warning her first….
Taking a chance, William drove his firebird over to Buffy’s place. He saw her Miata there, so maybe that was a good thing. She might be home. Of course he knew he could be wrong, she could be off in Cameron’s Plymouth. William wasn’t such a male chauvinist that he had dark thoughts about Cameron and Buffy. He sure as hell couldn’t have them now even if he was that kind of guy! Not when he was coming to her house…to talk about Willow.
Knocking on her front door, William waited. He waited long enough to question if this was a good idea. He itched for a smoke and reached in his inside pocket of his duster, grabbing one out and lit it as Buffy turned on the porch light.
Buffy saw William and was worried. What was wrong? He hadn’t been here in…a long time. She opened the door and said, “William.”
William said, “Hey, Buffy. I hope I’m not bugging you or intruding.”
Shaking her head, Buffy said, “No, not at all. I was…just unwinding on the couch, watching TV. Come in.”
Stepping inside, William said, “Thanks.” He took in the house. It held so many memories that William nearly left it because of how it got to him being in it now. He watched as Buffy shut the door and locked it, then walked over to him. She said, “I take it this isn’t a friendly visit.”
William tried to act ignorant saying, “Why do you say that?”
Buffy gave him a long look and said, “I’ve known you long enough to be able to tell when something’s up. What is it?”
William said, “Can we go into the kitchen…or living room?”
Buffy looked deeper into his eyes, questioningly and said concerned, “This is serious. Come on.”
They walked to the living room. Buffy flipped off the TV and turning to William she said, “Okay you have my attention.”
William started to put out his cigarette and said, “Mind?”
Letting her eyebrows raise and fall, shrugging, Buffy said, “Makes no difference to me. Again too much history not to be used to that.”
He took a seat initially and said, “Willow stopped by my place tonight.”
Buffy said, “Willow.”
William said, “Yeah. I wouldn’t bring her up to you, Buffy, but you are still her friend…and I still see you as mine.”
Buffy dropped across from him on the EZ chair and said, “We are friends, so yeah, it’s okay to talk about her to me. What’s up?”
William let out a deep breath and said, “She is leaving Sunnydale, Buffy.”
Shocked, Buffy said, “What? Why is she doing that?”
William looked Buffy in the eyes and said, “You want her version or mine?”
Buffy said lowly, “Either. You pick.”
William said just as dryly, “According to Will she is flying out to see her parents for a change.”
Buffy said, “She can’t stand her parents. That’s why they live in New York and she lives here. It’s more than that.”
William said, “You’re right. It is. She’s in love with me, Buffy.” He paused, seeing Buffy’s hurt eyes taking that in and said, “Yeah. I know. I didn’t expect it either, but here it is. Apparently when we were together it was more for her. She’s devastated Buffy. Again, another screw up on my part. She’s leaving because she can’t face what she has done.” Meeting her eyes he said, “You need to know that it was a mutual thing, that at that moment, I did want to be with her. It was rebound, I’m sure, but it existed.”
Buffy let out a deep breath and said, “I didn’t think she tied you up and forced you into it, William. I appreciate your honesty. I need to hear it.”
William would have said something comforting to Buffy, but at the time Willow and his concerns for her were on his mind, in his heart to a degree. He said, “She feels like a whore and can’t talk to you because she hates herself too much.”
Buffy said, “I hope you told her she wasn’t…that she shouldn’t hate herself.” Buffy felt tears coming to her eyes now at the pain that Willow was going through. Pain that Buffy was too selfish for awhile to recognize or consider.
William said, “I told her she wasn’t. Hell, Buffy, I of all people knew I was her first…and I’m being selfish talking to you about it. I should go.”
Buffy stopped him with a firm hand pushing him back down as she said, “No, you need to talk. I can see it. So continue.”
William looked down at nothing and said, “I heard her pain that night and I should have sent her home. But I wasn’t myself. I was upset over our breakup. She told me things that got to me, Buffy. They were sweet to hear and hit me in ways I didn’t expect. I acted. She could never be a whore even if she’d been with half of Sunnydale…because I initiated it.”
Buffy saw his pain, heard how it affected the way he spoke, and feeling for him she said through tears, “You hate yourself too.”
Looking up at Buffy again he said, “Yes! I was older, I should have known better. I didn’t care. I wanted her, saw the way she wanted me and acted on it.”
Buffy said, “We all make mistakes, William. We all screw up. God knows I have!”
William said, “I know.”
Shaking her head, Buffy said, “I wasn’t talking about us. I’m talking in general. I’ve made mistakes too.”
William asked, “Have you ever hurt someone else in the process of it?”
Staring right into his eyes, Buffy said, “Oh yes. I have. I didn’t trust you, just the closest person to me. I regret that so badly, William.”
William said, “I’ll heal, but will she?”
Buffy said, “She was a grown adult when she gave herself to you, William. You are not responsible for her choice. You made one too, yeah, but she went to you of free will. Willow doesn’t do anything unless it is of her own choice. You’ve done all you can.”
William said, “It somehow doesn’t feel that way.”
Buffy said, “Because you care about her…maybe more than even you realized. Look, I appreciate you coming here and telling me this.”
William stood and said, “I felt you’d want to know. Thanks…for listening.” He started to walk toward her front door when Buffy said, “William?”
Turning he said, “Yeah?”
Buffy replied, “If you love her, then you need to tell her that.”
William said, “I’m in love with you, Buffy.”
Buffy said, “At one time, yeah. We were. But things change. I’m seeing Cameron more than I used to.”
William said, “He good to you?”
Smiling fondly, Buffy said, “Yeah, he is. He’s romantic and kind and takes me to fancy restaurants.”
William nodded and said, “I’m glad. You deserve that, Buffy.”
Buffy said, “Yeah, so quit beating yourself up. Whether it is a one time thing or a relationship starting, it is your life, William. Live it. Meantime, I need to make a run out to her place myself. I feel it’s past time.”
William said, “I was hoping you would.”
Smiling up at him, Buffy said, “Come here.” He walked to her and she felt he was a lost soldier come home from battle. She hugged him saying, “Want to come with me, so I can officially tell her you can date her?”
“Buffy I never said I wanted to date her…”
Buffy said, “Yeah, well I am not blind either. I was for a long time, but I’ve opened my eyes.”
William said, “If we do this, it may mean never getting together again.”
Buffy swallowed that reality back and said, “Maybe not. But if it turns out that we don’t get back together, we will always be best friends. Always, William.”
William leaned down and kissed her on the cheek saying, “Always.”
They walked outside and William said, “I’ll follow you over.”
Nodding, Buffy said, “Works for me.”
TBC…
"The truth is out there."
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angelrose242000
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Re A Love She Couldn't Deny (Buffy/William, Willow/William)
A Love She Couldn’t Deny
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Twenty-One—Heartstrings…
Willow moved back and forth in her apartment that night, trying to finish packing her things. A box of Kleenex sat on her bare mattress. A beer in her hand, she took another long drink, this being her second. She’d been working at packing all night.
Her phone was unplugged, her light company called. Her landlord contacted. She was ready to go tomorrow. Folding her last articles of clothing, she readjusted her headband and cranked up the stereo, playing Man on the Moon next to full blast. Just as Willow liked it, secretly. She was acting out her inner wishes, deciding she was sick of portraying someone she wasn’t.
She reached at the bottom of her last drawer and found her yellow sheets. The same yellow sheets she had given her virginity on…the mark was still there. Willow washed them twice but it still remained. She folded them up, overcome with sadness at knowing she would be leaving her friends…and the man she had come to love, unexpectedly.
Holding them against her she wept softly, “William…I’m going to miss you so much…but you’ll be in my heart. In there…you can be mine…always.”
Buffy stood and heard these words. For a split second she did feel some ire at knowing she slept with William. It left quickly however as Buffy remembered that you can’t always predict who you fall for. It happens all on its own.
She watched the scene of Willow holding her favorite sheets up against her and saw her shaking as she folded them and put them in her bag. Tears came to her eyes as she thought of how Willow must have felt so alone, feeling those feelings and Buffy had been too into William to see it. She could have at least listened…what was more, she wasn’t really there during the break-up affect of Ethan. That made her a horrible friend. Swallowing this back, Buffy reached for the remote to the stereo, turned down the music and said, “Want some help?”
Surprised by the interruption and it being Buffy worst of all, Willow turned and said, “Oh, Buffy! I didn’t know you were…stopping by.”
Buffy walked across the living room, to the doorframe of Willow’s bedroom. She said, “I needed to, for sometime. You have a nice place.”
Willow said, “For the time being, yeah. I’d…I’d show you around…but I’m…not a good hostess right now.” She turned and sniffled, continuing to pack.
Buffy walked into the room slowly and sitting on her desk, she said, “Oh that’s okay. I’m not here for that. I came to talk like we used to.”
Willow thought to herself that she didn’t think that was possible that too much had happened. But she merely smiled and said, “Oh…okay.”
Buffy replied, “Willow I know that you aren’t just visiting your folks, in New York. You hate them…and last time I heard got into quite a fight, telling them to stay there and you’d stay here.”
Willow stopped her movements and said quietly, “He shouldn’t have gone to you. I told him those things so he wouldn’t worry about me.”
Buffy said, “He is worried about you, Will. He cared about you so he came to tell me what was going on. We are still friends, all three of us. I wanted to know about this. I needed to know, Willow.”
Willow looked at her and said, “So you know?” Those three words hit Willow’s heart the worst because they felt so incriminating—justifiable though it was it still hurt.
Buffy watched as Willow stopped what she was doing all together and sat on her bed, looking over at her. Buffy said gently, “Will, I kinda figured it out that night at patrol.”
Remembering that now, Willow hung her head and said, “Oh…I had forgotten about that.” Looking up at her, Willow added, “How can you come over here, why would you want to? After knowing I did that…even if it wasn’t to you. It still was William.”
Buffy said, “Who I had broken things off with two months before, Willow. He was free to see who he wanted…so were you. I don’t hate you for it. I should have picked up on the attraction before, but I was too stuck on my own feelings for William. I’m sorry about that. I wasn’t a very good friend.”
Willow shook her head saying, “That’s not true! Buffy…you have been my best friend for years.”
Buffy said, “You’re right. We are. No guy would change that, Willow. Not even William. I wonder why you couldn’t tell me yourself though.”
Willow said, “It’s not something you go tell your best friend, Buffy.”
Buffy said baffled, “Why? Why not?”
Willow gave her a long unsteady look and said, “Okay…it is something you’d tell your best friend. But in this case…I couldn’t tell you. He was your boyfriend for two years.”
Getting it, Buffy said, “Oh. Well we are like sisters Will.” Seeing Willow’s horror she amended, “Taking that back. The point is I love you as my friend and no matter what has happened with you and William it doesn’t change that.”
Willow said, “Can I tell you something about him without it upsetting you?”
Buffy said, “You can tell me whatever you want.”
Willow let out a deep breath and feeling extra tears falling, she said, “It’s just that until William no other guy, except Ethan, treated me like I was fun to be around. I was just brainy Willow. But William took me places and we had a good time. He listened to me, got me to laugh at myself, to open up and be myself, things I needed to do. It felt like maybe if I forgot everything he could be my boyfriend. I had wanted to be with him for several years, back as far as his vampire days. I liked his bad side, his crazy antics. They were so much what I wanted to be like but didn’t have the courage to be.”
Hearing what Willow said, Buffy said sadly, “Willow you should have told me. For two years we flaunted around you…that had to be hell. I am so sorry.”
Willow said, “It wasn’t easy. But hey I managed.” She tried a smile for Buffy that felt so forced as she continued that she found herself looking down again. “I thought it was just an attraction. I felt it a couple times around him, but told myself I could fight it if I got away from him. Despite the fact that it had to be obvious, William never hit on me. He was a friend, he got me through a bad time. When Xander and Anya were too busy with themselves and Giles was too hell bent on being…well Giles.”
Buffy rolled her eyes and said, “I get that. Trust me.”
Willow said, “I went to his apartment, he came to mine. He’s an amazing cook by the way.”
Smiling, Buffy said, “Yeah, he is.”
Willow continued with a broad smile, “He makes wonderful Pizza rolls.” Rolling her own eyes, Willow said, “Enough on that. I don’t know how much he has told you…or if he has about this. My story may overlap his.”
Buffy said, “That’s okay. I’m used to overlappage. I’m a slayer.”
Willow said, “When you guys broke up…I hated myself because I knew I was partly responsible. Okay, largely. He had spent his time with me because of my pain. But after awhile, I quit being miserable. I started looking forward to his coming over and watching movies…going to the library, or shopping. It was fun. And I was guilt ridden because I did enjoy his company.”
Buffy said, “That’s silly Will. You were friends.”
Nodding, Willow said, “Yeah, we were. But I wanted more, Buffy. So when you guys were threw and he stopped by regularly, it became harder for me to tell myself that he was unavailable. One Saturday though I was unable to say no. Ever since then things have been awful.” Wiping more tears, she said, “I let myself be Willow one time. I let myself do what so many other girls do, go with a moment. What did I get from it? Xander treating me like a whore. Anya cheering me on like I’ve finally walked to the darkside. Giles giving me consternation every time I’m around him, treating me like I’ve disappointed him in some way. The only one who hasn’t treated me like a total cheating slut is William. He has been amazing about it.”
Letting Buffy take this in, Willow added, “I know that you still love him, that he loves you. I knew he loved you then. I was messed up.”
Buffy asked, “Messed up? It sounds to me like it is more than that, Will.”
Willow acted nervous and started folding that sheet again as she said, “Okay, selfish and one-dimensional.”
Shaking her head, Buffy said, “I wasn’t talking like that. Willow, you are in love with him…aren’t you?”
Willow said, “I…I’ve got to get busy packing.”
Buffy stopped her flatly saying, “Willow!”
Willow caught the hurt in her voice and knew it was because she wouldn’t be honest, so Willow turned and wiping more tears she said, “I don’t count, Buffy. I was like…as much as I hate to say it because it makes me feel so bad, but I feel like I was like a mistress. I asked for something and got it.” Pausing, Willow said dejected, “The difference is I didn’t ask for money. I was willing to do it freely at whatever cost came after, at the time I didn’t want to think about tomorrow. Which makes me a self-serving slut, out to get with someone I can’t have. I guess the word desperate fits in here too someplace.” Not liking that, Willow shivered.
Buffy would have felt sorry for her, but that wasn’t what Willow needed. She was looking for Buffy to yell at her, to condemn her, maybe that would help in some way. So Buffy said flatly, crossing her arms over her chest, “You’re right. You are a slut, and a selfish friend who doesn’t care about what she does to anyone, especially to me, her best friend. You took William at a moment of weakness and pushed him up against a wall, forcing him into your bed. You tore off his clothes and told him to sleep with you or die. He had no say in it whatsoever. It was all you and your sick plotting. How can you look me in the eyes right now, much less talk about it?”
Willow caught on to what Buffy was doing and looking at her friend, she said, “It wasn’t like that.”
Buffy said, “Oh, really? How is it not like that?”
Willow looked within herself and said honestly, “Because no matter what, I know inside that I cared about William before I ever went with him to bed. I do love him and it hurts like crazy because…because I know he doesn’t. His eyes are on you.”
Buffy looked around where Willow couldn’t see and meeting William’s eyes she said, “Really? I think you should take another look.”
Willow looked up and met William’s eyes, which did happen to be on hers! She wiped tears and looked…
Buffy got up and said, “Now, I am heading out of here. I’ve got things to do.” Giles would be looking for her, but she wouldn’t say that and make them obligated to join her. She said, “Willow, William, I will see you later.”
She heard William’s “Bye, Buffy.” Willow said something to the same effect and Buffy walked on out to her car. She’d done all she could….
Willow asked, “How long have you been here?”
William walked closer saying, “Doesn’t matter. Willow…I can’t see you leave.”
Willow started shoving things into her black trash bag and trying to tie it shut, finally turning to him and saying, “Why?”
William replied, “You mean too much to me now. It has nothing to do with sex. I caught that look.”
Willow grinned and he joined in. She replied, “I was about to say that being in my bed for an hour shouldn’t cause that.”
William touched her face, looking into her eyes as he said, “Was it just an hour? It felt like longer…”
William ran his hands along her jaw, through her hair to get her to look into his eyes, so he could have an advantage. Willow knew what he was thinking and while she still could, she moved away. She said, “William…I can’t just sleep with you tonight and pretend that things have changed. You still love her.”
William moved toward her saying, “No, I don’t believe I do. Not anymore.” He reached for her again and Willow reached his forearms saying directly, “This is just lust, desire. It isn’t romantic it isn’t beautiful…and I’m left feeling hollow inside.”
William backed off some saying, “Willow, I wouldn’t be here with you right now if I didn’t love you. Buffy made me see that, she opened my eyes to it. I was confused a long time, thinking that I had hurt you and used you, that my heart was still hers. The truth is it hasn’t been in a long time. It seems to be attached to a red-headed beautiful woman that stutters when she’s nervous, comes alive when I’m with her, when we hang out, when we’re in each other’s arms. Maybe what we shared that night was rebound…but I’m telling you I don’t feel that way tonight.”
Willow caught the seriousness in his voice, the honesty, and walking to him she said, “I don’t either.”
William saw that Willow was waiting so he grabbed her to him and kissed her deeply. Putting her arms around his neck, holding him there, she kissed him back. He picked her up and carried her to her living room, onto her carpeted floor and together they shared a night that wasn’t filled with regrets or rebound emotions. It was completeness and honesty and very, very real….
TBC...
By, Angelrose242000
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Part Twenty-One—Heartstrings…
Willow moved back and forth in her apartment that night, trying to finish packing her things. A box of Kleenex sat on her bare mattress. A beer in her hand, she took another long drink, this being her second. She’d been working at packing all night.
Her phone was unplugged, her light company called. Her landlord contacted. She was ready to go tomorrow. Folding her last articles of clothing, she readjusted her headband and cranked up the stereo, playing Man on the Moon next to full blast. Just as Willow liked it, secretly. She was acting out her inner wishes, deciding she was sick of portraying someone she wasn’t.
She reached at the bottom of her last drawer and found her yellow sheets. The same yellow sheets she had given her virginity on…the mark was still there. Willow washed them twice but it still remained. She folded them up, overcome with sadness at knowing she would be leaving her friends…and the man she had come to love, unexpectedly.
Holding them against her she wept softly, “William…I’m going to miss you so much…but you’ll be in my heart. In there…you can be mine…always.”
Buffy stood and heard these words. For a split second she did feel some ire at knowing she slept with William. It left quickly however as Buffy remembered that you can’t always predict who you fall for. It happens all on its own.
She watched the scene of Willow holding her favorite sheets up against her and saw her shaking as she folded them and put them in her bag. Tears came to her eyes as she thought of how Willow must have felt so alone, feeling those feelings and Buffy had been too into William to see it. She could have at least listened…what was more, she wasn’t really there during the break-up affect of Ethan. That made her a horrible friend. Swallowing this back, Buffy reached for the remote to the stereo, turned down the music and said, “Want some help?”
Surprised by the interruption and it being Buffy worst of all, Willow turned and said, “Oh, Buffy! I didn’t know you were…stopping by.”
Buffy walked across the living room, to the doorframe of Willow’s bedroom. She said, “I needed to, for sometime. You have a nice place.”
Willow said, “For the time being, yeah. I’d…I’d show you around…but I’m…not a good hostess right now.” She turned and sniffled, continuing to pack.
Buffy walked into the room slowly and sitting on her desk, she said, “Oh that’s okay. I’m not here for that. I came to talk like we used to.”
Willow thought to herself that she didn’t think that was possible that too much had happened. But she merely smiled and said, “Oh…okay.”
Buffy replied, “Willow I know that you aren’t just visiting your folks, in New York. You hate them…and last time I heard got into quite a fight, telling them to stay there and you’d stay here.”
Willow stopped her movements and said quietly, “He shouldn’t have gone to you. I told him those things so he wouldn’t worry about me.”
Buffy said, “He is worried about you, Will. He cared about you so he came to tell me what was going on. We are still friends, all three of us. I wanted to know about this. I needed to know, Willow.”
Willow looked at her and said, “So you know?” Those three words hit Willow’s heart the worst because they felt so incriminating—justifiable though it was it still hurt.
Buffy watched as Willow stopped what she was doing all together and sat on her bed, looking over at her. Buffy said gently, “Will, I kinda figured it out that night at patrol.”
Remembering that now, Willow hung her head and said, “Oh…I had forgotten about that.” Looking up at her, Willow added, “How can you come over here, why would you want to? After knowing I did that…even if it wasn’t to you. It still was William.”
Buffy said, “Who I had broken things off with two months before, Willow. He was free to see who he wanted…so were you. I don’t hate you for it. I should have picked up on the attraction before, but I was too stuck on my own feelings for William. I’m sorry about that. I wasn’t a very good friend.”
Willow shook her head saying, “That’s not true! Buffy…you have been my best friend for years.”
Buffy said, “You’re right. We are. No guy would change that, Willow. Not even William. I wonder why you couldn’t tell me yourself though.”
Willow said, “It’s not something you go tell your best friend, Buffy.”
Buffy said baffled, “Why? Why not?”
Willow gave her a long unsteady look and said, “Okay…it is something you’d tell your best friend. But in this case…I couldn’t tell you. He was your boyfriend for two years.”
Getting it, Buffy said, “Oh. Well we are like sisters Will.” Seeing Willow’s horror she amended, “Taking that back. The point is I love you as my friend and no matter what has happened with you and William it doesn’t change that.”
Willow said, “Can I tell you something about him without it upsetting you?”
Buffy said, “You can tell me whatever you want.”
Willow let out a deep breath and feeling extra tears falling, she said, “It’s just that until William no other guy, except Ethan, treated me like I was fun to be around. I was just brainy Willow. But William took me places and we had a good time. He listened to me, got me to laugh at myself, to open up and be myself, things I needed to do. It felt like maybe if I forgot everything he could be my boyfriend. I had wanted to be with him for several years, back as far as his vampire days. I liked his bad side, his crazy antics. They were so much what I wanted to be like but didn’t have the courage to be.”
Hearing what Willow said, Buffy said sadly, “Willow you should have told me. For two years we flaunted around you…that had to be hell. I am so sorry.”
Willow said, “It wasn’t easy. But hey I managed.” She tried a smile for Buffy that felt so forced as she continued that she found herself looking down again. “I thought it was just an attraction. I felt it a couple times around him, but told myself I could fight it if I got away from him. Despite the fact that it had to be obvious, William never hit on me. He was a friend, he got me through a bad time. When Xander and Anya were too busy with themselves and Giles was too hell bent on being…well Giles.”
Buffy rolled her eyes and said, “I get that. Trust me.”
Willow said, “I went to his apartment, he came to mine. He’s an amazing cook by the way.”
Smiling, Buffy said, “Yeah, he is.”
Willow continued with a broad smile, “He makes wonderful Pizza rolls.” Rolling her own eyes, Willow said, “Enough on that. I don’t know how much he has told you…or if he has about this. My story may overlap his.”
Buffy said, “That’s okay. I’m used to overlappage. I’m a slayer.”
Willow said, “When you guys broke up…I hated myself because I knew I was partly responsible. Okay, largely. He had spent his time with me because of my pain. But after awhile, I quit being miserable. I started looking forward to his coming over and watching movies…going to the library, or shopping. It was fun. And I was guilt ridden because I did enjoy his company.”
Buffy said, “That’s silly Will. You were friends.”
Nodding, Willow said, “Yeah, we were. But I wanted more, Buffy. So when you guys were threw and he stopped by regularly, it became harder for me to tell myself that he was unavailable. One Saturday though I was unable to say no. Ever since then things have been awful.” Wiping more tears, she said, “I let myself be Willow one time. I let myself do what so many other girls do, go with a moment. What did I get from it? Xander treating me like a whore. Anya cheering me on like I’ve finally walked to the darkside. Giles giving me consternation every time I’m around him, treating me like I’ve disappointed him in some way. The only one who hasn’t treated me like a total cheating slut is William. He has been amazing about it.”
Letting Buffy take this in, Willow added, “I know that you still love him, that he loves you. I knew he loved you then. I was messed up.”
Buffy asked, “Messed up? It sounds to me like it is more than that, Will.”
Willow acted nervous and started folding that sheet again as she said, “Okay, selfish and one-dimensional.”
Shaking her head, Buffy said, “I wasn’t talking like that. Willow, you are in love with him…aren’t you?”
Willow said, “I…I’ve got to get busy packing.”
Buffy stopped her flatly saying, “Willow!”
Willow caught the hurt in her voice and knew it was because she wouldn’t be honest, so Willow turned and wiping more tears she said, “I don’t count, Buffy. I was like…as much as I hate to say it because it makes me feel so bad, but I feel like I was like a mistress. I asked for something and got it.” Pausing, Willow said dejected, “The difference is I didn’t ask for money. I was willing to do it freely at whatever cost came after, at the time I didn’t want to think about tomorrow. Which makes me a self-serving slut, out to get with someone I can’t have. I guess the word desperate fits in here too someplace.” Not liking that, Willow shivered.
Buffy would have felt sorry for her, but that wasn’t what Willow needed. She was looking for Buffy to yell at her, to condemn her, maybe that would help in some way. So Buffy said flatly, crossing her arms over her chest, “You’re right. You are a slut, and a selfish friend who doesn’t care about what she does to anyone, especially to me, her best friend. You took William at a moment of weakness and pushed him up against a wall, forcing him into your bed. You tore off his clothes and told him to sleep with you or die. He had no say in it whatsoever. It was all you and your sick plotting. How can you look me in the eyes right now, much less talk about it?”
Willow caught on to what Buffy was doing and looking at her friend, she said, “It wasn’t like that.”
Buffy said, “Oh, really? How is it not like that?”
Willow looked within herself and said honestly, “Because no matter what, I know inside that I cared about William before I ever went with him to bed. I do love him and it hurts like crazy because…because I know he doesn’t. His eyes are on you.”
Buffy looked around where Willow couldn’t see and meeting William’s eyes she said, “Really? I think you should take another look.”
Willow looked up and met William’s eyes, which did happen to be on hers! She wiped tears and looked…
Buffy got up and said, “Now, I am heading out of here. I’ve got things to do.” Giles would be looking for her, but she wouldn’t say that and make them obligated to join her. She said, “Willow, William, I will see you later.”
She heard William’s “Bye, Buffy.” Willow said something to the same effect and Buffy walked on out to her car. She’d done all she could….
Willow asked, “How long have you been here?”
William walked closer saying, “Doesn’t matter. Willow…I can’t see you leave.”
Willow started shoving things into her black trash bag and trying to tie it shut, finally turning to him and saying, “Why?”
William replied, “You mean too much to me now. It has nothing to do with sex. I caught that look.”
Willow grinned and he joined in. She replied, “I was about to say that being in my bed for an hour shouldn’t cause that.”
William touched her face, looking into her eyes as he said, “Was it just an hour? It felt like longer…”
William ran his hands along her jaw, through her hair to get her to look into his eyes, so he could have an advantage. Willow knew what he was thinking and while she still could, she moved away. She said, “William…I can’t just sleep with you tonight and pretend that things have changed. You still love her.”
William moved toward her saying, “No, I don’t believe I do. Not anymore.” He reached for her again and Willow reached his forearms saying directly, “This is just lust, desire. It isn’t romantic it isn’t beautiful…and I’m left feeling hollow inside.”
William backed off some saying, “Willow, I wouldn’t be here with you right now if I didn’t love you. Buffy made me see that, she opened my eyes to it. I was confused a long time, thinking that I had hurt you and used you, that my heart was still hers. The truth is it hasn’t been in a long time. It seems to be attached to a red-headed beautiful woman that stutters when she’s nervous, comes alive when I’m with her, when we hang out, when we’re in each other’s arms. Maybe what we shared that night was rebound…but I’m telling you I don’t feel that way tonight.”
Willow caught the seriousness in his voice, the honesty, and walking to him she said, “I don’t either.”
William saw that Willow was waiting so he grabbed her to him and kissed her deeply. Putting her arms around his neck, holding him there, she kissed him back. He picked her up and carried her to her living room, onto her carpeted floor and together they shared a night that wasn’t filled with regrets or rebound emotions. It was completeness and honesty and very, very real….
TBC...
"The truth is out there."
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