Author: Rie482
Rating: Teen
Summary: This is a one parter, set after Doomsday. There is no direct happy ending. Just read to find out what it's like
Footsteps resounded around the museum as he crept in the dark, the blue light showing him the way. He couldn’t find that damn TARDIS key. He knew he shouldn’t have given the last spare to Jake, but he had to… and now having lost his own key and having lost the spare one, as he had just left Jake in the other earth, before accidently being thrown into this parallel one, he was regretting it.
But he could sense a key near by so he was searching frantically for it.
He had to get back on the trail.
He found the key glowing softly in the darkness of the room, but as he moved towards it he stopped dead. His long brown coat swung as he turned quickly to look at the display. It was like one of those display panels you’d find in a museum, *well duh* he thought to himself as he put his glasses on. But there was something different; underneath the glass was a real letter.
Something that had gone out of fashion over the years.
But what screamed at him was the way it was addressed to him.
Dear Doctor,
This is just to say Hi. That’s all I wanted to say when I had started this letter, it was just a simple ‘Hi! How are you’ letter because I knew that you wouldn’t appreciate it if it were anything else. I know how you feel about us apes, we feel everything so strongly. I remember once you said that it was the best thing about us, we felt. But I knew that by the time you got this letter, you would have moved on with your life, as that is exactly what you do.
You move on, you carry on your existence while the companions wither and die.
That’s all you can do.
So I knew you wouldn’t like the sad, sappy letter that this has sadly turned into over the years. You see, I’ve written and rewritten this letter so many times, I can’t remember how it started originally. All I remember is the first word was, ‘hi!’ and even that sounds a little sappy as I remember it.
So over the years, this just to say hi letter has turned into something else, something for you to remember me by when you finally make it back to me, to this world. Because I know you will. You will make it back through to this world, intent on searching for me. Or it will be done accidentally, as the way it should be. But I know you will be back, it’s just a matter of when instead of ‘if’. We both know that you and your TARDIS make mistakes sometimes and a hell of a lot of the time you just stumble into situations.
That’s what I had loved about travelling with you, the way we just stumbled on these situations – we just found ourselves stuck in danger just by going out for some chips. Trouble always found us, or we found the trouble. It was exciting, it was fresh – it wasn’t the Powell Estate. Thanks to you stumbling into a situation you found me and you took me away from that place. You pulled me out of working 9 to 5 at the shop. You pulled me out of a lifeless and dull life.
I want to thank you for that, because it meant so much to me. It meant the world and more. I still dream about the days when I was younger, hanging around in the TARDIS, flying through space and time seeing all the things the average 21st century human would never see. It was all like a dream to me when I think about it. When I wake up here in the morning I almost feel like I’ve been pinched and brought back to reality.
But then I remember with a smile that it was my reality once upon a time, it was real. I remember with such fondness, I want to cry as I realise that it was all ripped away from me. Because I couldn’t hold on to that damn lever, I lost my soul purpose for living – you.
I know, I know. I have lived a fantastic life. Knowing you, you will look up all my history and notice how I worked my way up to the Head of Torchwood. It wasn’t just the fact I had been in contact with aliens, it was because after you left I worked my arse off to find a way back to you. You drove me forward; you drove me to make contact with other races, other planets and to find new technology that would help me come back to you.
I didn’t find the answer, but I did help this world in some ways.
You will also know that I have moved on with my own life, well I tried to anyway. I married a kind man called Chris. He was sweet, compassionate, gentle and kind. He loved me and was devoted to me. I loved him, but not I like I love you. He didn’t have this huge personality. He couldn’t ramble for the universe and he didn’t know the face of Bo.
He couldn’t get anyone out of trouble with just the aid of a sonic screwdriver and he couldn’t regenerate.
He died at 45; he was on a mission to Mars where there was war. You know what the Martians felt towards us and after President Kanie came to power he was hungry for more land. I give him some credit, we didn’t actually know about the Martians but his hunger for power and land drove us to war.
Because of him I lost the second love of my life. I still hate him for it.
Just like I hate the fact I’m here. My children can’t understand why I constantly try to find a way off this planet; they can’t understand what I see in the stars. They don’t see the mystery and love that I do, because the stars remind me of you. They have their own lives and their own families. I have them, but they are so wrapped up in their world that I feel lost, like I’m in some sort of limbo. Sarah, my eldest, has tried so many times to get me to give up and work for her. She’s the new head of Torchwood, but she doesn’t have the same drive as me so she focus’s mainly on remaining good relations between us and the other cultures we have already come in contact with. Where as I, I spend my days trying my hardest to find a way back to the parallel Earth that I miss so dearly.
But we both know it’s not Earth I miss, but you.
What will shock you is the fact my children know all about you. My youngest Jonathan came across my diary and almost had me published without my knowledge. He thought it was this wonderful story and wanted to do something wonderful for my 50th. I found out and had to stop him.
I had to tell him, them all. Jack, Sarah and John. I had to tell them about how a man from the stars had taken me from my small little home in Powell Estate and had shown me the stars. They didn’t believe me until I showed them the pictures.
You didn’t know that I carried pictures around with me where ever we went. You remember when we went to New Earth; we went shopping after we had dealt with the Cats Sisters. Well, I remember seeing this small little thing that looked like a lip gloss. When I opened it, it widen out into a photo album and I knew in that moment that I had to get it. Because we both knew that at some point we would lose sight of each other and I couldn’t lose that last part you that I had.
So I kept it in my back pocket, just in case.
It amazed John and Jack… but Sarah felt betrayed. She felt like I didn’t love her father and I didn’t love her, she felt my whole life was a lie. Which in a way it was. But what I felt for them was just as real as what I feel for you, I just feel so intensely for you. I feel so much more strongly towards you because you showed me the importance of life. You showed me what it was like to live and after you left me on that beach at Bad Wolf Bay, a part of me died.
The part of me that felt like my life had any purpose disappeared with you.
So there wasn’t ever going to be another you… and I still love you.
I realised this when I was shopping in London with Sarah. We were on rocky ground so I had decided that we were going to go shopping for a day, to let our hair down and bridge the gap that formed between us.
All time and sense froze when I saw you, your parallel self. You were leant against a steal door that usually no one is allowed through, you had this look of pure concentration on your face and you had the infamous sonic screwdriver in your hand, pressed hard against the lock of the door. The only difference was the fact he was still in his 9th body and you were wearing a brown leather coat instead of a black one. Your sonic screwdriver was glowing red instead of a blue light.
I remember I was just frozen watching you as you concentrated on that door, and my heart leapt into my mouth. I can still hear myself telling Sarah I’d be right back and handing her my bags. My heart was hammering away in my chest as I neared you. It stopped all together when I was stood next to you and you turned to look at me.
“Doctor.” I remember greeting you. Your face was a picture. It was mix of shock and confusion, how could I know your name?
His infamous smile crossed his face and I remember him leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “Hi.” Is what he said. “How do you know me?”
I couldn’t really answer that question, so I did the one thing I knew would prove it that I knew you. I carefully pulled at the string that was around my neck and lifted it up. I showed him there and then the TARDIS key. “I’m from a parallel world… and you were my Doctor.”
His face was a picture… once again. I laughed and I truly smiled. It felt so great just to explain to him how I knew him, and how I came to be here. We sat and had coffee, I introduced him to Sarah. Then he asked me something I didn’t think he’d have ever asked me.
“Do you think you’d want to come again?”
I had looked at Sarah and then shook my head. He wasn’t my Doctor, you are my Doctor. Nothing and no one can replace you; even if he is a parallel you. I had grieved for that Doctor a long time ago, I wasn’t going to rehash old memories. So I did one last thing for the Doctor and I walked him back to the door.
We had stood there for a couple of minutes, just looking at each other before I swiped my card over the lock allowing the Doctor full access to Torchwood.
From that moment on I have started to see things in a different way and I see this now as a way of you remembering me. I want you to remember the things we saw together, the things we did. I want you to remember our love of chips and the hole in Adam’s head. I want you to remember Mickey the idiot (who is not an idiot any more. He married well and now has his own software company.) and the way he used to annoy the hell out of us.
I want you to remember what it was like to be with me, because I remember what it was like to be with you, every day. I remember your love for ball bearings that you can eat. I remember the way you used to take my hand as we ran away from danger.
I always take a banana with me when I got to parties – You were right, it just isn’t a party with out banana daiquiris’.
But now I just have to write you a letter because I know I will never set foot on the TARDIS again and the likelihood that I will ever speak to you again is slim because I’m turning 76 next week.
So this is my final hello and goodbye to you.
There is so much more I want to say to you, but I don’t want you to be sat reading this for a whole year. There are people out there who need your help, they need you more than I do and in that year you could save hundreds of billions of people.
So I’ll say the last thing that is on my mind. The one thing that has been on my mind since I last saw YOU, my you.
I love you. Nothing is the same without you. Even though I have lived a fulfilled and healthy life, I still wish it could have been you that had been by my side for it. I wish I could still be sat on the TARDIS, holding your hand.
It will always be you and me in my mind. Even when I die, I swear my last words will be Doctor… unless I die in some hideous accident out in my garden. Maybe I’ll be attacked by a huge Rose… who knows? But know this, I’ll be thinking of you, even if I am attacked by a huge red rose.
Because you are everything to me.
You are My Doctor.
The love of my life.
Love always,
Rose Tyler-Gallop.
“Rose,” He whispered quietly in such agony. There wasn’t a day that had gone by where he hadn’t thought of her. He still missed her as if the whole incident was just yesterday, not 100 years ago. But like the letter had said, he had moved on with his life.
But it didn’t make the pain any less. Rose had been everything.
The letter had proved that the woman had known him inside out, not like any of the others.
The Doctor ran his hands over the glass softly and tenderly as if he was caressing Rose’s cheek, something he wished he could do one last time. He lifted the sonic screwdriver to the edges and slowly, carefully, lifted the glass off the stand. He stood there for a moment, the glass in his hands, and looked at it. There was the last memory he will ever have of Rose, a fond memory that he would add to all the others.
Putting the glass to one side, he took the letter out gently, his hands shaking as he held it. It felt like it was going to rip if he were to move too quickly.
As he folded it and placed it in his pocket he smiled. He could feel Rose in the room with him.
He quickly retrieved the TARDIS key, for once thankful of the way things had happened. Without the key he was stranded.
He brought it to his lips for a second, almost being able to feel her standing next to him, her hand in his. She had still kept hold of it over the years.
A small tear fell down his cheek as he moved towards the open window he had arrived through. He stopped for a second and leant against the frame, his head hung low. He lifted it and looked down into the room, with tears in his eyes.
He could sense Rose was still there in that room, watching him with a smile on her face. She had known he would come back someday and he did. The smile was because she finally got to say goodbye, the way they truly deserved.
Rose faded away after he jumped out of the window. A lone tear fell down her cheek as she remembered what his last words were before he left,
“Rose Tyler, I love you too.”