Curse That Day You Ever Fell In Love
Summary: Max, White, Bath tubs and climbing in windows from dumpsters, Coffee with Original Cindy? The things Ames White has to do for 452! . And Logan Cale is an evil, evil man!, Go figure.
Spoilers: Some from first season and the second season.
Disclaimer: Max and Ames White don't belong to me neither do Logan, Asha, Alec or Original Cindy do.just using them for kicks and then you can have em back.
Genre: Angst/Romance, Romance? Did I just say that . I meant it as another form of angst you know?.the lusting after and the stalking kind of Romance. *Wink!*
Authors notes: My second Max/White fic just couldn't help writing this one.totally, you know I love Logan and all that but how can anyone resist Max/White? Seriously! White's just as angst filled as Loggie, even more so, only White is a baddie and I have a thing for villain's. Don't look at me like that, there is nothing wrong with me! It's like Buffy/Spike & Angel/Darla! There were certain things in the second and first season that made it easier to twist things with Logan.I mean he has this whole I could be a very, very bad man look. Don't tell me you didn't notice.
Curse That Day You Ever Fell In Love
Curse the day you ever fell in love
Still I pray to the Gods above
That you will remember me
That we could be
Like we used to be
I need your love and
Though you may never sway my way
I won't let go
Baby we could be so real
Let me tell you how I feel
***
I can't stop this crazy feeling
And you are the reason
Baby come back to me
Now won't you come back to me
Yeah, you're beautiful
Yes your love all that I desire
My heart is on fire
Oh baby come back to me
Yeah
You're beautiful, beautiful
So beautiful
"Say something…even Normal's more talkative than that"
He still stares blankly when I tell him that I'm with someone. I stand silent letting the wheels in his head turn, letting him decide with his own imagination who he thinks I'd be with after all his time…I almost smile knowing what that would leave him to conclude...
"Are you happy Max…?"
Happy? Alec.
He thinks I'm with Alec now. I smile not too sadly.
Not as if he's not to blame for any of this, I feel my ears pricking at hearing some soft befuddled fumbling sounds in the next room whose door seems locked. My highly developed sense of sight zeroes in easily on the keyhole, showing the slight figure of a girl jumping about. At least that's what the 'thump' sounds in my sensitive ears are like.
As if someone's trying to pull on tight jeans.
My highly developed sense of smell wanders away from Logan, following the scent of some sweet feminine fragrance, which seems to have covered most this room or 75% of Logan's apartment. There's only one person who smells that 'flowery' all the time.
I look back at him with the zoom vision and see his eyes behind the glasses remarkably calm & completely satisfied. I wonder why though, I shouldn't have to scrutinize him silently like this…I did after all come here to break it off for good with him.
"Hmm…I'm okay"
He nods knowingly (Really? I wonder how knowingly), his heartbeat slightly unsteady in my ears now, green blue eyes blink away traitorously. And I smile at him as he does back to me understandingly.
Asha.
Logan's with Asha now.
"Take care of yourself Max…"
"Yeah…you too"
He turns his back to me wheeling back to his computer inserting the minute COM link in his ear, drowning out anything I could want to say to him. Pretending I don't notice him shudder slightly.
"Bye Logan"
I turn around and leave for the first time with an odd feeling of relief flooding through me and at the same time it feels like the pin that had been stuck in my heart for a long time has pierced further through flesh. A really, small pin.
I wasn't lying when I said I was with someone else now. But then I also never did tell him, who it was that was keeping me company at nights.
Not Alec.
It reminds me how narrowly limited a normal human brain can be, that someone as perceptively intelligent as Logan just immediately assumes I must be sleeping with my own kind and of that in particular Alec.
I don’t think he saw though, the miniscule twinkle of well-satiated desire in my eyes, the way I turned my head and didn't, flinch knowing Asha was in the very adjacent room getting dressed.
Logan doesn't see … He only sees what I let him believe when I spend unspoken troubled hours in front of his window, disappointedly when it rains, he doesn't know that I'm imagining myself being harshly thrown against the walls with inhuman strength, strong jaw brushing sharply against my cheek. Hot, desperate mouth kissing mine fiercely.
He doesn’t even notice when I sigh contentedly imagining myself being shoved into my mattress and undressed savagely without gentleness or grace, I'd never let Logan take me to bed without a smile or flowers, not even Alec. But I let 'him' do all that to me… and more.
***
Ever since the small incident in sector 12 I've been with 'him' every night. Well, almost every night.
A week ago halfway through 'Sector 12' coming back from a package delivery, I did a double take seeing a familiar face in the dark of the alley's. Ames White was flagging commands left, right while Alec looked like he was busy avoiding White.
I signaled him to leave while I acted as a distraction. Now, I'm glad I managed to persuade him to leave because since I've told him I thought of him as a brother he's been acting all brotherly protective. Which I didn't need then so I set him off on his way and distracted Ames White.
Later alone and sweaty, 'he' managed to corner me in one of the building Alec and me often took refuge in our missions. I also made a mental note of getting physical on Alec's careless ass for giving me a run for my life and who knows what else, every time.
White has an irrational problem with me leaping around on both federal and public property or so he said because I had a problem with him too. Apart from all the hunting, killing and capturing transgenics like me…His big lips.
I've been avoiding looking at 'them' since the first time he got me locked up in a cage. But that day...That day he was right in my face and there was no way around 'them'.
Whatever happened next must have been a major impulse on my part…a crazy accidental impulse, crazy and accidental because I closed the small 1 inch distance between us wanting to walk through him…and totally brushed my lips against his, just a little. Like a closed mouth kiss.
Had I been completely out of mind with 'heat' I think I might have also stuck my tongue down his throat.
Full, pouty, warm, red lips…they were very real.
While White stood there wide eyed looking expensively contaminated or like Alec would say 'positively scandalized!' and I just turned and made a mad dash out the building to my getaway bike as if my life depended on it.
That was the end of it or so I thought going home.
Years of training, looking over my shoulder all gone out the window after that incident, I'd been too troubled coming back after informing Logan & Alec I was safe over the dodgey payphone conversation. Leaving out the most important parts. I remember Logan asking me to come over later and telling him awkwardly that I'd think about coming over but probably not because I was kind of 'busy'.
I had to go take scalding bath and maybe give my head a bang on something really hard to set it straight again what was wrong with me?!
Then I heard Asha do something like a giggle in the background and jealousy burned effective holes in my chest, picking on those long stings in my heart, which were only reserved for Logan. When he paused putting a hand over the receiver I slammed down my own end of the receiver. Crying shamelessly in a phone booth as if the world had almost ended.
It was becoming painfully obvious, that I couldn't wait for Logan forever. Knowing that other people could touch him and I was the only one who wasn't allowed to drive any physical pleasure out of our relationship or relieve myself of any sexual frustration whatsoever unless this virus has a miracle cure and I find it someday. Which did not seem like it was happening any time soon.
Life is not wonderful, constantly.
I undressed, prepared my bath water with my favorite shampoo and essentials as usual and then pondered over whether I should put those scented candles Logan gave me to some good solid use or just throw them away…My overloading brain was a mile away when I heard 'him'.
"You know you really should get that window fixed"
"Son-of-a-bitch..."
I should have known White would follow me but then I was finding it kinda hard to scold myself or for that matter do anything else lying naked in the warm bathtub while he stood there loosening his tie in the bathroom door pouting casually. More than the usual...
After a few seconds of playing the, don't blink game I leaped up and jumped on him easily and thankfully he kept standing enough to get us both to my bed. I didn't ask questions. Why bother, we'd locked warm foreheads in the intense concentration of kissing like we haven't done for a very long time.
I must have mumbled something about fighting because in between the kissing and quick pulling off of his shirt he managed to say 'this' was completely off record.
"…Strictly...off record!"
First time climaxes had almost been awkward because I hadn't known whether to say his name or not. I didn't even know White was supposed to be a last name. Hey! Not my fault Logan couldn’t, dig up info on him fast enough.
I remember Kendra once telling me she could do this for 12 hours straight I never believed her then, but I guess I do now… not that we have that kind of time on hand but this is just an after hours pass time for White and me. Either way he knew exactly how to make blood sing through the body and if we could help it were usually at it for rest of the night blinded by both intense hate and at the same time mad with need.
"Ames...say Ames…it's my first name…say it"
"Make …me…"
"Don't worry, you will say it sooner or later…I will make you, you know?"
I say it every time, then hate myself for it later…sleeping with the enemy was one thing but obeying to do the unthinkable? Climax with his name?… Damn! This virus thing really managed to twist my priorities hasn't it? Or maybe the sing song voice that always has been at the back of my head telling me 'I am truly selfish' is true, but It's much easier to put the blame on people who gave me the virus.
Some one like White? I'm just surprised he doesn't do this often elsewhere (how come bad guys like him never cheated on his wife?) He's Older, Stronger, faster…it's kind of makes it kinky like that with White. He's older than any one I'd ever had have anything to do with. Logan, Alec, Zack…older than all of them and far more experienced than I ever expected.
I figure we've both gotten used to it by now. And other than that we don't look at each other in the day of the light, never care for each other's names like that at least from my side, 'he' just makes me say his.
Except for the colorful language being muttered in the dark and the creaking mattress spring 'he' doesn't talk. And we're definitely not gentle with each other on any level or position.
After it's over he dresses silently and leaves where he came in from.
I guess I understand though why it's better that he comes in and leaves through the window and I just sigh, fall back in bed and sleep exhausted of any energy…he manages to take all of it away. Definitely stronger…kinky like that.
Always the same thought that makes me smile silly in the dark when 'he' leaves, the man has a lot to lose from coming here, he could go to anyone for sex…but he always comes to me. Childish as it sounds effective in terms of boosting my already steamy self-esteem. At least he didn't just jump at a chance to be with anyone if not with me like Logan would.
***
"Max come on 'sis let's dance this one out already… it's fun night, quit being blue…who're you waiting for anyway? "
I panic involuntarily seeing him wink (Does Alec know?!) "Waiting? Did I say I was waiting for someone!?"
Alec shrugs "No, but umm usually when someone's standing around and stalling a good dance number there's a chance their waiting for someone…you okay?"
I roll my eyes leaving my beer untouched and follow him to the dance floor.
Curse the day you ever fell in love
Still I pray to the Gods above
That you will remember me
That we could be
Like we used to be
Every time my song starts playing I look around the Crash with a lingering feeling at the back of my head … The feeling that said I was being watched. Of course when I danced that feeling was the general population of club watching me, including Logan looking all angst filled like Mr. Sacrifice.
I'm dancing with Alec and Logan again tries hard to smile genuinely at me clutching Asha's hand close by under the table trying to suppress all that superficial angst in his blue-green eyes, pretending he doesn't notice while I pull Alec closer. Alec doesn't mind, it's his idea after all…that all four of us spend some quality time together once in a week … when none of us are in trouble.
Good old Alec. He knows I broke up with Logan…still I have no idea of what he's trying to do, set us up again? No…that's way too self-sacrificing of him. Then again he has changed a lot from the first time we met.
"Yeah baby! Now that's what I'm talking about!"
I glare at him dismissively, not really interested in dancing but still surprisingly moving "Easy!"
"Sorry got a bit carried away"
We'd been at it for few weeks now and today maybe those internal alarm clocks of ours that went off or something because He and I fell asleep once exhausted more than ever before, the sex much rougher…he had a bad day.
Original Cindy was standing in my door staring down at us when Ames shook me awake from this weird dream I'd been having and all I could say was "oh" with guilt and relief I'd half expected Logan and Alec to be standing there the way 'he' was shaking me. I tried to look the other way and ignore the fact that we'd been curled up against each other for seemingly … most of the morning.
"Boo you're late! Get moving or Normal's gonna fire both of us…!" Wouldn't make any bets on that only she was still standing in the door while I groaned sitting up with my sheet's bunched up around me.
"So what about your, hot boy over there he want any coffee?"
"I'm late" he muttered crankily.
The haze from both sleep and dream cleared and my eyes bugged out "My hot…boy!? No Original Cindy, he's not like that" We resigned to glare at each other seeing OC had already left the room muttering.
"You two get dressed and I'll get ya's a mug of coffee, meet me in five!"
White always the impatient one had already dressed and put a leg through the window and pulled it back in glancing down puzzled. I sat down on the edge of my bed, I've always watched 'him' leave so why not now, 'He' looked different, maybe it was just the morning light because 'he' was looking funny sitting there in the window like that. I was trying hard to keep a straight face.
"What?"
He looked down from the window again and back at me "The … Dumpster … it's been moved"
I shrugged trying not to feel panicky in the glare of the sun "They must have taken it away for clearing it out"
"Oh really, you figure?" he arched eyebrows sarcastically.
"You shouldn't frown too much…makes you look older"
He looked funny at me then for a while on the window with the narrowed eyes and the still brooding eyebrows…his scowl seems pretty permanent…never mind, I think it's the one feature that made him look rough or maybe it's the years of cynicism taking it's toll.
Nevertheless composed, resolve face on I sighed trying to keep my voice low "Original Cindy's a friend…You don't have to worry about her, she won't tell anyone…"
He looked at the door coming down from the window "She better not…that's the last thing we need now" We stopped and looked at each other in stunned silence, realizing what he'd just said … 'The last thing 'we' need'
He scowled putting hands on his hips and I groaned internally shifting on my bed …and it groaned enough for us too then, 'we', now it's become a 'we' situation.
Life is definitely not wonderful.
"You both ready in there yet? Original Cindy's bip meter just went flat here!"
We jumped up and scrambled together to get showered and dressed at the same time because there weren't any other choices. Both we're already late. Very late.
Besides, Alec might have shown up unannounced like he did a few other mornings. Which is kind of curious because he's never done that before and only started a few days after White.
Coffee was almost uneventful and quiet with tapping fingers, uncomfortable glances passed around until White got up to leave and Original Cindy said I really knew how to pick 'em. The three of us then actually smiled at each other well, not smiling exactly. Smirking as far as White was concerned, I blushed and Cindy smiled at both of us it might not have been the most comfortable breakfast club then but it was a common three-way expression. And pretty oddly, there was a normal moment there.
We looked at each other then, out of the corner of our eyes trying to see…if there's something more here that we can have with each other, something normal like this forever? …
The visible muscles in his jaw tick when he sips his coffee and I ball a fist under my chin thinking normal us? As if we could keep up with Logan or Wendy, Nah … We immediately look away and the moment passes by like it never happened.
"Work's every time..." he sang smoothing down his tie. I squinted at him disgustedly and he smiled back…as in a real smile, saying good bye to Original Cindy decently and gentlemanly enough leaving through the door this time.
"About time someone realized that they put that front door there for a reason you know?!…(A pause) That your stalker boy?"
I nodded quietly trying to keep my mouth in the coffee mug, glancing at the door couldn't help it, the morning seemed like some Alice in the Wonderland dream. Wei-i-i-i-rd.
"Now you know I warned you and all, I didn't say nothing because he looked the type that's easily offended…but listen sugar he's kinda hot like that, know what I mean?…"
I groaned when the various sores inside me came to life "You so have no idea…."
We giggled over the situation for a while thinking it was a rare occurrence, Ames White sitting like a member of the family and drinking coffee? Alec would probably cackle to death if he knew … that's if he ever first got over the shock that big bad killer wolf Ames White had to climb up a dumpster to get into my window…Oh yeah he'll die a happy transgenic man.
"We better jet…before Normal gives up on us as a bunch of hopeless cases"
"No doubt there Boo…no doubt about it"
I stared back at my room thinking the sheets are bunched up on the mattress waiting to be washed like they always are after last night and every other night these days. But I decided to leave them there for now…and then I wonder balking 'Do the rest of them know?…can they smell him on me, White's cool tingly, spicy and clingy scent '?
Maybe they can, for some reason I think they do know. Even Asha when she stares at me sometimes when I'm at Logan's, this look like she knows something…and she's sorry for me. It's one of those times I hate her and keep my mouth zipped tight when I see Logan smile at her and then return this incredibly condescending look like he's knows too and is too horrified to say anything.
Maybe he knows it isn't Alec. But then that's just Logan…he doesn't like confrontations…on a regular bases.
The phone rang I snapped out of it and suddenly saw myself holding something that doesn't essentially belong to me…a black tie...as far as I know I can smell White's scent on it several inches away fit to drive me mad…I just about got weak in the knees before OC tapped me on the shoulder with one hand to her ear holding the telephone.
"It's Normal, he wants to know when our proverbial lazy behinds are getting to work?"
Curse That day ..... (DA, Max/White, Mature) - D & B
Moderators: ISLANDGIRL5, Forum Moderators
Part 2
I need your love and
Though you may never sway my way
I won't let go
Baby we could be so real
Let me tell you how I feel
On the surface? We're both normal & sort of resigned to our destinies in life. To work and fight against each other as we’re meant to, I guess we both know it's never going to work out permanently with someone as normal as Logan or Wendy that or what we have now can be taken away tomorrow so we had better make the best of it now.
It's less uncomfortable now, at least for me it's less sexual tension and more mind on things that should matter…Leaving normal had never been easier. It's much easier to stand aside and just be Logan's friend now, the not being able to touch him part of our relationship doesn't bother me as much now unless of course Asha's around sometimes.
The person I forgot I really was when I first fell in love with Logan Cale is starting to come back to me in the past few weeks.
I could just lie there on my bed in unfaithful comfort and dirty selfishness, look into a killer's eyes and see myself reflected in them, Because we’re not alike and at the same time not so different from each other and it doesn’t really matter because it’s off record. ‘We’ don’t exist like that. There’s no relationship or relation whatsoever.
I don’t know maybe I just wanted a taste of being Normal from Logan’s world, and now that I already know what's it's like and no matter how hard I try, I can't have it … I'm okay with it. It doesn't hurt anymore seeing Asha ruffle Logan's hair or when she gives him that secret smile…the one sometimes White and I give each other in the dark.
That secret smile, that say's it all…That you'll always be mine…and I'll make sure of it.
No matter what.
And no matter how hard White and I try…we can't leave each other, ever. Not yet any way, even if Logan and Alec find out.
Besides, It’s perfect. The sex is always good...and it’s all Ames and me need these days. No love required and I think we can both handle that.
***
I should have known I was being played all this time.
A few days ago when we were juggling off our clothes Ames suddenly gripped my arm very tightly, I let my shirt fall back in place not disturbing the silence by asking what’s wrong. His grip was bruising my wrist when he dragged me in front of my mirror...There was a camera on the only leather doll lamp I ever managed to acquire.
A camera, a miniature small camera, Ames didn’t raise havoc or punch fists into closest wall he just kept staring at the minute black contraption with all seriousness and speculation that was Ames White.
"It’s wireless..." He said softly turning it over in all direction and smiled then satisfied "False alarm..."
The camera or whatever it was seemed pretty damaged and worthless. It must have been one of the Manticore camera’s Logan got a hold of, funny I didn’t remember him giving it to me to play around with...Ames and I puzzled over it for a while and call me paranoid ... I looked out my window. Somehow I doubt it wasn’t reflex.
Alec was standing down there with all the smugness of a madman. I wasted no time in jumping out the window not caring that someone would see me pinning Alec to the dinghy walls glaring deathly at him trying at the same time to hide the confusion and shame.
"What the fuck do you think you’re doing here Alec?!"
"Oh joy...it’s laughing boy"
I didn’t turn to notice Ames shifting impatiently behind me thankfully with his clothes on, but I knew if I hadn’t had a hand around Alec’s neck, then Ames probably would have snapped it himself by now.
"I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t hurting you..." He held up his hands before either of us could speak up "Look I don’t want to know...whatever, whatever it is you’re both doing, but I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t hurting you Max!"
I relaxed for a while before Ames grabbed at Alec and shoved him back against the wall, I stepped between them awkwardly, It WAS a screwy situation. We were not supposed to talk directly or indirectly with each other out side my room, which is probably why he ignored me when I told him to leave Alec alone.
"Does anyone else know?!" His grip around Alec’s neck loosened only after I shouted that I could handle him, he was after all one of my people.
"Does any one else know?!"
"Fuck You White!...oh but wait a minute Max IS already fucking you!"
I shoved Alec into the wall just as soon as Original Cindy came down...
"Boo what’s going on over here? And what’s the lil’ boy Alec doing there?"
I was too busy feeling immensely embarrassed and accidentally let Ames answer that one "He’s fucking peeping on us!"
So much for not attracting any attention to the situation. Alec threw me off and I landed on Ames he held me up and for moment and then shrugged me off of him self. We all stood speechlessly shameless behind my building close to the Dumpster arguing as if life as we know it was over.
"What fuck are you doing Max? Did you give Logan up for this crap?! What’s the matter with you?!"
I didn’t answer. Original Cindy crossed her arms and stared at him skeptically, even Ames had stopped with the swearing. As far any of us knew Alec superficially, friendly or on predatory bases...he didn’t have out bursts. But he was having one right now and all of us were stock-still trying not to let the dark get to us.
"Are you in love with him or something?!"
It seemed important to answer that no matter how squirmy it felt. Ames and I jumped to that in unison "No!"
"Damn Alec, Something tells me we all shouldn’t be havin’ this conversation out here where it doesn’t belong"
Alec ignored OC, I think for I while I did to. I was trying somehow to look him in the eye and get him to calm down not that punches and kicks wouldn’t be effective for that matter but then, I had to remember Ames White an enemy of the Transgenics was out here right next to all of us, who I was also sleeping with conveniently.
And I just wasn’t about to turn on my own kind for Ames, it wasn’t suppose to be like this Dammit!
We weren’t supposed to see each other outside my room!
Alec wasn’t fucking supposed to know! Why can’t he ever mind his own business?!
I decided to go for the gentle approach and my elbow was busy buzzing, it was itching to poke Ames painfully in the stomach, he was the one trying to rile Alec up with his various snide remarks about his perversity. I would have only right about now it would be too awkward because he was standing right next to me and not killing me.
"Shut up White!, Alec? Does any one else know?"
Alec kept glaring at me disapprovingly, unbelievable. How the hell was I suppose to know he cared about crap like this?! But he did, he eyes were brimming with hate and hurt and something I’ve never really seen before ... He looked away from me and suddenly my heart the crazy one was dancing all over the place in the dark. Alec wanted me ... or something like that, I think we’ve already established the fact that this situation was getting weird with every word we said and didn’t.
"Alec...He’s not hurting me, it’s okay..."
"Though if I was ... I’d personally invite you and the rest of 452’s friends to watch"
"Shush!, You watch your mouth there Stalker boy" *Smack!*
Stalker boy...I don’t think we realized until then how uncomfortable the situation was becoming. Not until Alec suddenly burst out laughing pointing at both of us.
"How can you ever stand to touch each other?!"
Silence. How can I stand to touch him? I don’t know...it just happened like a whim. But i couldn’t very well say something like that standing in front of Alec, with Ames and OC right behind me.
It was like a standoff, until Alec started to thump his fist on the wall behind him, now leaning casually and more relaxed moving his finger in a circle.
"So is this like a all hard work and no fore play makes and Max and Ames a dull freak thing? Or wait is it all the frustrating work and no release thing?"
"Knew he was a pervert"
"Oh, don’t flatter yourself Ames...I’m pretty sure one of these days, Max will come to her senses and will hear ‘I told you so’ from me when she’s strapped to a lab table and being dissected, pretty much alive"
"Well, 494 you’ve got nothing to worry about, because when that happens you’ll be on the slab right next to her having your intestines removed, very much alive"
"Ugh, Am-uh-White!"
"Boo, Am I the only one seeing Sector cops round the corner?"
We all turned and stared at OC, until she pointed us in the general direction of where we heard distinct sounds of ... Sector Police. They were coming through this way and for a moment we all just stood in our places until Ames shouted a collective "Move!" and we all quickly ducked behind the Dumpster.
The group of some 10 of them passed by not really interested in my building or us for that matter and I had to hit Ames a couple of times to keep him quiet from complaining about the all the dirt and garbage. Mostly the disgusting smell at the moment it seemed necessary that I wring Alec’s ear back and forth blaming him for getting us in this situation in the first place.
"Ames! You’ve got clearance and stuff go see what the boogie men want!?"
"I don’t think so 494! I’d rather fucking turn you in!"
"Damn, he’s really frustrated isn’t he?...too bad you’re not going to be able to do anything about it"
"Alec! Ames! Shut up and behave!"
"Damn, Boo now we’re all in wicked bad trouble"
We stop fidgeting for a minute to look at Original Cindy.
"What ya all staring at me for?"
I think Alec spoke clearly for all of us that time "You said ...wicked"
"Fucking pervert!"
"Look whose talking! Pussy whipped!"
I slapped both of them, immature just wasn’t a word anymore "Hey! Shut up means shut up!"
Other than that all four of us were perfectly unharmed, huddled together tight in a small space, with me wedged uncomfortably between Ames and Alec and OC next to Alec.
Not in danger of being arrested for anything. Just mouthing off loud enough at each other for someone to hear us.
False Alarm...
"Uh, hello? Are you guys okay in there?"
I panicked "How did you know we were here?"
"Well, it’s just that you guys were behind a public Dumpster shouting at each other...kind of attracts attention you know?"
The stranger left and then as we stood out from behind the Dumpster and shook ourselves trying to free ourselves of the embarrassment and possible germs one deftly important question came to mind.
"Use the Window? Or the Door this time?"
***
A/N: thnx allot Athenea, i'm a serious Max/White shipper as well.
Though you may never sway my way
I won't let go
Baby we could be so real
Let me tell you how I feel
On the surface? We're both normal & sort of resigned to our destinies in life. To work and fight against each other as we’re meant to, I guess we both know it's never going to work out permanently with someone as normal as Logan or Wendy that or what we have now can be taken away tomorrow so we had better make the best of it now.
It's less uncomfortable now, at least for me it's less sexual tension and more mind on things that should matter…Leaving normal had never been easier. It's much easier to stand aside and just be Logan's friend now, the not being able to touch him part of our relationship doesn't bother me as much now unless of course Asha's around sometimes.
The person I forgot I really was when I first fell in love with Logan Cale is starting to come back to me in the past few weeks.
I could just lie there on my bed in unfaithful comfort and dirty selfishness, look into a killer's eyes and see myself reflected in them, Because we’re not alike and at the same time not so different from each other and it doesn’t really matter because it’s off record. ‘We’ don’t exist like that. There’s no relationship or relation whatsoever.
I don’t know maybe I just wanted a taste of being Normal from Logan’s world, and now that I already know what's it's like and no matter how hard I try, I can't have it … I'm okay with it. It doesn't hurt anymore seeing Asha ruffle Logan's hair or when she gives him that secret smile…the one sometimes White and I give each other in the dark.
That secret smile, that say's it all…That you'll always be mine…and I'll make sure of it.
No matter what.
And no matter how hard White and I try…we can't leave each other, ever. Not yet any way, even if Logan and Alec find out.
Besides, It’s perfect. The sex is always good...and it’s all Ames and me need these days. No love required and I think we can both handle that.
***
I should have known I was being played all this time.
A few days ago when we were juggling off our clothes Ames suddenly gripped my arm very tightly, I let my shirt fall back in place not disturbing the silence by asking what’s wrong. His grip was bruising my wrist when he dragged me in front of my mirror...There was a camera on the only leather doll lamp I ever managed to acquire.
A camera, a miniature small camera, Ames didn’t raise havoc or punch fists into closest wall he just kept staring at the minute black contraption with all seriousness and speculation that was Ames White.
"It’s wireless..." He said softly turning it over in all direction and smiled then satisfied "False alarm..."
The camera or whatever it was seemed pretty damaged and worthless. It must have been one of the Manticore camera’s Logan got a hold of, funny I didn’t remember him giving it to me to play around with...Ames and I puzzled over it for a while and call me paranoid ... I looked out my window. Somehow I doubt it wasn’t reflex.
Alec was standing down there with all the smugness of a madman. I wasted no time in jumping out the window not caring that someone would see me pinning Alec to the dinghy walls glaring deathly at him trying at the same time to hide the confusion and shame.
"What the fuck do you think you’re doing here Alec?!"
"Oh joy...it’s laughing boy"
I didn’t turn to notice Ames shifting impatiently behind me thankfully with his clothes on, but I knew if I hadn’t had a hand around Alec’s neck, then Ames probably would have snapped it himself by now.
"I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t hurting you..." He held up his hands before either of us could speak up "Look I don’t want to know...whatever, whatever it is you’re both doing, but I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t hurting you Max!"
I relaxed for a while before Ames grabbed at Alec and shoved him back against the wall, I stepped between them awkwardly, It WAS a screwy situation. We were not supposed to talk directly or indirectly with each other out side my room, which is probably why he ignored me when I told him to leave Alec alone.
"Does anyone else know?!" His grip around Alec’s neck loosened only after I shouted that I could handle him, he was after all one of my people.
"Does any one else know?!"
"Fuck You White!...oh but wait a minute Max IS already fucking you!"
I shoved Alec into the wall just as soon as Original Cindy came down...
"Boo what’s going on over here? And what’s the lil’ boy Alec doing there?"
I was too busy feeling immensely embarrassed and accidentally let Ames answer that one "He’s fucking peeping on us!"
So much for not attracting any attention to the situation. Alec threw me off and I landed on Ames he held me up and for moment and then shrugged me off of him self. We all stood speechlessly shameless behind my building close to the Dumpster arguing as if life as we know it was over.
"What fuck are you doing Max? Did you give Logan up for this crap?! What’s the matter with you?!"
I didn’t answer. Original Cindy crossed her arms and stared at him skeptically, even Ames had stopped with the swearing. As far any of us knew Alec superficially, friendly or on predatory bases...he didn’t have out bursts. But he was having one right now and all of us were stock-still trying not to let the dark get to us.
"Are you in love with him or something?!"
It seemed important to answer that no matter how squirmy it felt. Ames and I jumped to that in unison "No!"
"Damn Alec, Something tells me we all shouldn’t be havin’ this conversation out here where it doesn’t belong"
Alec ignored OC, I think for I while I did to. I was trying somehow to look him in the eye and get him to calm down not that punches and kicks wouldn’t be effective for that matter but then, I had to remember Ames White an enemy of the Transgenics was out here right next to all of us, who I was also sleeping with conveniently.
And I just wasn’t about to turn on my own kind for Ames, it wasn’t suppose to be like this Dammit!
We weren’t supposed to see each other outside my room!
Alec wasn’t fucking supposed to know! Why can’t he ever mind his own business?!
I decided to go for the gentle approach and my elbow was busy buzzing, it was itching to poke Ames painfully in the stomach, he was the one trying to rile Alec up with his various snide remarks about his perversity. I would have only right about now it would be too awkward because he was standing right next to me and not killing me.
"Shut up White!, Alec? Does any one else know?"
Alec kept glaring at me disapprovingly, unbelievable. How the hell was I suppose to know he cared about crap like this?! But he did, he eyes were brimming with hate and hurt and something I’ve never really seen before ... He looked away from me and suddenly my heart the crazy one was dancing all over the place in the dark. Alec wanted me ... or something like that, I think we’ve already established the fact that this situation was getting weird with every word we said and didn’t.
"Alec...He’s not hurting me, it’s okay..."
"Though if I was ... I’d personally invite you and the rest of 452’s friends to watch"
"Shush!, You watch your mouth there Stalker boy" *Smack!*
Stalker boy...I don’t think we realized until then how uncomfortable the situation was becoming. Not until Alec suddenly burst out laughing pointing at both of us.
"How can you ever stand to touch each other?!"
Silence. How can I stand to touch him? I don’t know...it just happened like a whim. But i couldn’t very well say something like that standing in front of Alec, with Ames and OC right behind me.
It was like a standoff, until Alec started to thump his fist on the wall behind him, now leaning casually and more relaxed moving his finger in a circle.
"So is this like a all hard work and no fore play makes and Max and Ames a dull freak thing? Or wait is it all the frustrating work and no release thing?"
"Knew he was a pervert"
"Oh, don’t flatter yourself Ames...I’m pretty sure one of these days, Max will come to her senses and will hear ‘I told you so’ from me when she’s strapped to a lab table and being dissected, pretty much alive"
"Well, 494 you’ve got nothing to worry about, because when that happens you’ll be on the slab right next to her having your intestines removed, very much alive"
"Ugh, Am-uh-White!"
"Boo, Am I the only one seeing Sector cops round the corner?"
We all turned and stared at OC, until she pointed us in the general direction of where we heard distinct sounds of ... Sector Police. They were coming through this way and for a moment we all just stood in our places until Ames shouted a collective "Move!" and we all quickly ducked behind the Dumpster.
The group of some 10 of them passed by not really interested in my building or us for that matter and I had to hit Ames a couple of times to keep him quiet from complaining about the all the dirt and garbage. Mostly the disgusting smell at the moment it seemed necessary that I wring Alec’s ear back and forth blaming him for getting us in this situation in the first place.
"Ames! You’ve got clearance and stuff go see what the boogie men want!?"
"I don’t think so 494! I’d rather fucking turn you in!"
"Damn, he’s really frustrated isn’t he?...too bad you’re not going to be able to do anything about it"
"Alec! Ames! Shut up and behave!"
"Damn, Boo now we’re all in wicked bad trouble"
We stop fidgeting for a minute to look at Original Cindy.
"What ya all staring at me for?"
I think Alec spoke clearly for all of us that time "You said ...wicked"
"Fucking pervert!"
"Look whose talking! Pussy whipped!"
I slapped both of them, immature just wasn’t a word anymore "Hey! Shut up means shut up!"
Other than that all four of us were perfectly unharmed, huddled together tight in a small space, with me wedged uncomfortably between Ames and Alec and OC next to Alec.
Not in danger of being arrested for anything. Just mouthing off loud enough at each other for someone to hear us.
False Alarm...
"Uh, hello? Are you guys okay in there?"
I panicked "How did you know we were here?"
"Well, it’s just that you guys were behind a public Dumpster shouting at each other...kind of attracts attention you know?"
The stranger left and then as we stood out from behind the Dumpster and shook ourselves trying to free ourselves of the embarrassment and possible germs one deftly important question came to mind.
"Use the Window? Or the Door this time?"
***
A/N: thnx allot Athenea, i'm a serious Max/White shipper as well.