that's soo great . Thanks for sharingThe Differences between men and women
Moderators: singerchic4, Forum Moderators
-
Stargazer's Delight
- Enthusiastic Roswellian
- Posts: 73
- Joined: Thu Apr 20, 2006 10:49 pm
- Location: Tasmania, Australia
Have you ever asked what men are really thinking when they say the things they do? Well now is your opportunity to answer that very question...
"I'm going fishing."
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"Let's take your car."
Really means...
"Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas."
"Woman driver."
Really means...
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."
"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
Really means...
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."
"It's a guy thing."
Really means...
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means...
"Why isn't it already on the table?"
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means...
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling
"Good idea."
Really means...
"It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."
"Have you lost weight?"
Really means...
"I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."
"My wife doesn't understand me."
Really means...
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."
"It would take too long to explain."
Really means...
"I have no idea how it works."
"I'm getting more exercise lately."
Really means...
"The batteries in the remote are dead."
"I got a lot done."
Really means...
"I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."
"We're going to be late."
Really means...
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
"Hey, I've read all the classics."
Really means...
"I've been subscribing to Playboy since 1972."
"You cook just like my mother used to."
Really means...
"She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."
"I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind."
Really means...
"I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."
"That's interesting, dear."
Really means...
"Are you still talking?"
"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Really means...
"I forgot our anniversary again."
"You expect too much of me."
Really means...
"You want me to stay awake."
"It's a really good movie."
Really means...
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."
"Will you marry me?"
Really means...
"Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."
"Go ask your mother."
Really means...
"I am incapable of making a decision."
"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means...
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means...
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"Football is a man's game."
Really means...
"Women are generally too smart to play it."
"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means...
"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
"I do help around the house."
Really means...
"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
"What did I do this time?"
Really means...
"What did you catch me at?"
"What do you mean, you need new clothes?"
Really means...
"You just bought new clothes 3 years ago."
"But I hate to go shopping."
Really means...
"Because I always wind up outside the dressing room holding your purse."
"No, I left plenty of gas in the car."
Really means...
"You may actually get it to start."
"I'm going to stop off for a quick one with the guys."
Really means...
"I am planning on drinking myself into a vegetative stupor with my chest pounding, mouth breathing, with pre-evolutionary companions."
"I heard you."
Really means...
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means...
"I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"You look terrific."
Really means...
"Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
"I brought you a present."
Really means...
"It was free ice scraper night at the ball game."
"This relationship is getting too serious."
Really means...
"I like you more than my truck."
"I recycle."
Really means...
"We could pay the rent with the money from my empties."
"Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful."
Really means...
"Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"
"It's good beer."
Really means...
"It was on sale."
"I don't need to read the instructions."
Really means...
"I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."
"I broke up with her."
Really means...
"She dumped me."
-
KarenEvans
- Roswell Fanatic
- Posts: 3635
- Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:59 pm
- Location: Alex's room
how MCP-ish 
Now you see you are just so wrong on this one.Us men would never say that!"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
Really means...
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."
Because we have have no damn clue what mauve or turquoise is
-
Stargazer's Delight
- Enthusiastic Roswellian
- Posts: 73
- Joined: Thu Apr 20, 2006 10:49 pm
- Location: Tasmania, Australia
Good point The Code of Men!
1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolate or The Wedding Planner
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may
be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend,
mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant,
or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any
useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts.
You are permitted to deny his very existence.
5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate
family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call 'BULLSHIT'.
(Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)
7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours,
his sister is off-limits forever,
(Exception loophole-If said sister is extremelly hot.
than disregard the forever rule,which makes her fair game.)
8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for
another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a
girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every
point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe
scale.
9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. However, you may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present
for another man. In fact, even remembering a friend's
birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.
11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot
babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is
your legal duty. Should you get carried away with
your good deed and end up having sex with the beast,
your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your
bachelor party.
12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required
to ask his permission and he in return is required
to grant it.
13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must
be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge
of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing
clean.
14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem.
You didn't see nothin'.
15. The universal compensation for buddies who help
you move is beer.
16. A man must never own a cat or like his
girlfriend's cat.
17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports
event, you may always ask the score of the game in
progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to
fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give
her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your
buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about
joining the priesthood.
19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink
only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and
it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's
free.
20. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively
dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
22. If a buddy is out-numbered, out-manned, or too
drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight.
Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions
have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a
good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.
23. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man
while weight lifting:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers."
"Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"
24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the
last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain
mean.
25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you
better be referring to his beer.
26. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a
buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending
your response.
27. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're
on equal footing: either both urinating or both
waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod
is all the conversation you need.
28. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.
1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolate or The Wedding Planner
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may
be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend,
mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant,
or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any
useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts.
You are permitted to deny his very existence.
5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate
family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call 'BULLSHIT'.
(Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)
7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours,
his sister is off-limits forever,
(Exception loophole-If said sister is extremelly hot.
than disregard the forever rule,which makes her fair game.)
8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for
another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a
girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every
point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe
scale.
9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. However, you may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present
for another man. In fact, even remembering a friend's
birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.
11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot
babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is
your legal duty. Should you get carried away with
your good deed and end up having sex with the beast,
your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your
bachelor party.
12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required
to ask his permission and he in return is required
to grant it.
13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must
be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge
of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing
clean.
14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem.
You didn't see nothin'.
15. The universal compensation for buddies who help
you move is beer.
16. A man must never own a cat or like his
girlfriend's cat.
17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports
event, you may always ask the score of the game in
progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to
fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give
her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your
buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about
joining the priesthood.
19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink
only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and
it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's
free.
20. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively
dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
22. If a buddy is out-numbered, out-manned, or too
drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight.
Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions
have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a
good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.
23. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man
while weight lifting:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers."
"Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"
24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the
last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain
mean.
25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you
better be referring to his beer.
26. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a
buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending
your response.
27. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're
on equal footing: either both urinating or both
waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod
is all the conversation you need.
28. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.
-
KarenEvans
- Roswell Fanatic
- Posts: 3635
- Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:59 pm
- Location: Alex's room
-
Stargazer's Delight
- Enthusiastic Roswellian
- Posts: 73
- Joined: Thu Apr 20, 2006 10:49 pm
- Location: Tasmania, Australia
