Jealousy and exes

To_Kiss_A_Frog · Post by **To_Kiss_A_Frog** » Sat Apr 22, 2006 12:14 pm

I find this very intersting because I have a boyfriend who is the king of double standards on this topic. Because I have older brothers, I was always around guys when I was growing up, it was like having 6 or 7 brothers instead of 2 but the boyfriend kind of freaks because he says that regardless of how I look at the friends, they aren't looking at me like a little sister anymore.

He says he trusts me, but doesn't trust other guys... its fine for him to have female friends who he used to date/like but he's squeemish about me talking to ex-boyfriends because he doesn't trust them.

Half the time I think he's being silly so I just change the subject and the other half I don't argue because I figure that its kind of sweet, in a distorted sort of way *shrugs*

-Cyn-

Lady_vixen · Post by **Lady_vixen** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:55 pm

My non boyfriend is very funny on this matter. It's fine that his X calls him still becasue she misses him but if i even run into an X, its an issue. Men always have thier own set of rules for relationships. That whole whats good for the goose os good for the gander thing...does not apply for them. Ugh..men get an F

POM · Post by **POM** » Sat May 20, 2006 4:06 am

Hello Ladies,

I've rejoined the singles club again

!! I'm not getting married--and just trying to focus on myself for right now.

<3 POM

killjoy · Post by **killjoy** » Mon May 22, 2006 12:06 am

Well lucky for me I only have one major EX and she now lives....or at least the last I heard she did....three states away. So lucky for me I never see her or have to deal with her.

FallenMagic · Post by **FallenMagic** » Sat May 27, 2006 2:12 pm

RosDude had a laughing fit reading your post

I hear you ladies, and gents. I've just been in one serious relationship and it didn't last too long either...it ended very badly. I'm still suffering at the hands of the jack ass even 10 months later. So, what do you do when your ex just won't let you go? I can't avoid him cuz we go to the same uni, I can only hope my friends act as my buffer which they do.

I can handle and understand jealousy of current boyfriends but exes? He can't even stand to see me talking to one of my best friends (who happens to be a guy), without doing something or the other that has me wanting to strangle him! And it's not even my fault we broke up in the first place!

Morning Dreamgirl · Post by **Morning Dreamgirl** » Sat May 27, 2006 4:32 pm

FallenMagic wrote:So, what do you do when your ex just won't let you go? I can't avoid him cuz we go to the same uni, I can only hope my friends act as my buffer which they do.

Two words: Restraining. Order.

Seriously though, if he's that obsessed with you, and I don't mean to frighten you, you need to make sure that he's not going to do something psycho if he snaps. Espcially since:

He can't even stand to see me talking to one of my best friends (who happens to be a guy), without doing something or the other that has me wanting to strangle him!

But, if he's just harping on the fact that he lost you, and you and your friends don't think that he would do anything, then you need to find a way to tell him:

"Look, you had your chance and you blew it. It's not my fault that this didn't work out. I may have to be around you at school, but that does not mean that we are friends or anything more than friends. You need to stop acting like I'm yours and going crazy every time I so much as talk to another guy, because I am no longer yours. If you have a problem with that, you need to get help. As for me, I'm trying to live my life and do what will make me happy. And I can't do that with you constantly stalking me every time I go and talk to another guy. Read my lips: I. Am. Not. Yours. End of discussion!"

Now, you might want to tone this down, or up, depending on how hard headed he is.

It could be worse.

My first major ex seriously threatened suicide after I left.

That was an interesting experience to say the least.

Ashley

FallenMagic · Post by **FallenMagic** » Sun May 28, 2006 10:35 am

Oh he's the most thick headed person I've met so far! I've even gone as far as to tell him I'm getting married! Ugh, ex-es can be a mjor pain! But he is harmless...in the sense that I know he won't physically hurt me. I may get annoyed, frustrated and angry but I'm not scared.

Besides, my guy friend I mentions is bigger than he is and has alreayd threatened to beat him up if he doesn't leave me alone...so far I think that threat alone has worked

Morning Dreamgirl · Post by **Morning Dreamgirl** » Sun May 28, 2006 3:01 pm

LOL!

Good!

Then maybe you should just pay someone else to start going out with him.

Might seem a little koo-koo,but, if it'll keep him off your back.... lol!

Okay, so maybe not the best idea, but the wine I've been drinking is almost completely gone from the bottle if that's any clue as to my state of mind recently.

Otherwise, just avoid him like the plague and if he makes contact with you in anyway, just be completely annoying... after awhile maybe his thick head will thin out enough to hear the wonderful news that you are single!

And if that stuff doesn't work - come back when the wine's been gone for awhile!

POM - Welcome back! I don't know if I'm technically single, but I'm not engaged, nor married... so I guess legally I am.

The good news about being single again?

You'll know what to avoid next time!

I am sorry to hear about it though - if we can cheer you up in any way, let us know!

Ashley

Post by **Kzinti_Killer** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 2:35 am

Hmmm, people change over time. I love my wife, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit to cringing a bit whenever one of her male co-workers takes her to lunch. But only a little...because I trust her. As for anyone checking her out. Neener neener. Eat your poor little lacivious hearts out boys. She's MINE!. To quote Chad... "Mine, mine, mine!". As for her exes (she was married before me, and seriously involved with one guy in between), that's a no sweat deal. I've met them both, and there's just no threat worth noticing there.

On the flip side, there was a girl about 25 years back. My first real love. Now, lets talk about jealousy....

I'm older now. Your perspective changes.

Rick

Blue*Soul · Post by **Blue*Soul** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 5:29 pm

Lorastar wrote:*laughs*

I'm the same way, mine is mine. My boyfriend belongs to me. I'm his. He's mine. And no other girl can have him. Or touch. Or look. And they better not FLIRT! Cause that's a big no-no.

.

Haha. I'm like that. Don't you totally want to strangle girls who think its OKAY to flirt with your guy when they KNOW you are going out with him?! Grr.

I'm a pretty jealous girlfriend, but I try to keep the jealousy thing low 'cuz most of my friends are guys and all kinda double standardish. I totally trust him ...but like Rosdude said ( ) its them that are the problem!.