Was Michael Abusive?

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valentinebaby
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Re: Was Michael Abusive?

Postby valentinebaby » Sat Jul 10, 2010 8:46 pm

killjoy wrote:
Rowedog wrote:
killjoy wrote:Well like I said Maria is the one who was doing the hitting in the relationship.Some said it was for good reason....but I don't think there is any good reason to hit someone in anger when you're in a relationship.Had Michael smacked Maria upside the head like that for any reason people here would be coming down on him.

I think it has to do with the whole mind set where a guy should be able to take a hit and just shake it off to show how tough he is.But if it's wrong for Michael to hit Maria like that than she shouldn't be allowed to hit him in the same way as far as I see it.


She did it once, when she found Courtney in a towel in his apartment. That's hardly a pattern, and frankly given the situation I think she reacted quite calmly :lol: .


So what your saying is that if the reverse has happened say a guy who had been hitting on Maria all the time had stopped by her house and was walking around in just a towel and Michael came over and saw this it would be okay for him to hit Maria on the side of the head? He would just be acting calmly as you put it.


Okay KJ yes you're right there's a double standard when it comes to girls and guys and violence, but that's one that seems to only be thought that way by men. I and most of my other girl friends believe that if a women hits a man then the man has the right to defend himself or at least restrain the girl using whatever means necessary. I know too many guys who are more than willing to just sit there and let a woman wail on them because they aren't suppose to hit girls, and I'm like you're crazy. So it's not something that a lot of women buy into. However you're acting like what Maria did was violent. She smacked him upside the head, she didn't beat him down, she didn't even try. If she actually wanted to hurt him she would've hit him somewhere else and probably more than once.
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Re: Was Michael Abusive?

Postby nibbles2 » Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:15 pm

valentinebaby wrote:
killjoy wrote:
So what your saying is that if the reverse has happened say a guy who had been hitting on Maria all the time had stopped by her house and was walking around in just a towel and Michael came over and saw this it would be okay for him to hit Maria on the side of the head? He would just be acting calmly as you put it.


Okay KJ yes you're right there's a double standard when it comes to girls and guys and violence, but that's one that seems to only be thought that way by men. I and most of my other girl friends believe that if a women hits a man then the man has the right to defend himself or at least restrain the girl using whatever means necessary. I know too many guys who are more than willing to just sit there and let a woman wail on them because they aren't suppose to hit girls, and I'm like you're crazy. So it's not something that a lot of women buy into. However you're acting like what Maria did was violent. She smacked him upside the head, she didn't beat him down, she didn't even try. If she actually wanted to hurt him she would've hit him somewhere else and probably more than once.


Exactly, it's not like she punched him or kicked him in the goolies. She didn't even hit him hard. Given the reputation that Maria has gained in fics for physical violence, it was a very mild clip to the back of the head.

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Re: Was Michael Abusive?

Postby killjoy » Sun Jul 11, 2010 9:26 pm

I guess we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one.For if Michael had given Maria a 'mild clip to the back of the head' there would be numerous people screaming abuse....on the show and the fans.I don't think there is any reason for you to hit anyone you are in a relationship with......no matter if you are the man or the WOMAN in said relationship.

Now don't get me wrong I understand if you're trying to defend yourself....or the normal he's not paying attention so you reach over to give him a playfull 'sock' on the shoulder to wake him up from day dream land.I get that but to hit someone you are supposed to love in anger is some thing I just can't understand.

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Re: Was Michael Abusive?

Postby Cocogurl » Thu Sep 02, 2010 10:03 pm

killjoy wrote:I guess we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one.For if Michael had given Maria a 'mild clip to the back of the head' there would be numerous people screaming abuse....on the show and the fans.I don't think there is any reason for you to hit anyone you are in a relationship with......no matter if you are the man or the WOMAN in said relationship.


I have to agree with killjoy here. There are a lot of women out there who punch their boyfriends and smack them upside the head and it's considered okay because they are women. But if guys went around doing that, women wouldn't be so casual about it. They'd be shouting abuse from the rooftops--including me, I must admit. :lol: This just one of the many things, though, that people find acceptable when it's a woman and not okay when It's a man. It's always kind of bugged me, but what are you going to do?
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Re: Was Michael Abusive?

Postby RosDude » Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:39 am

Cocogurl wrote:
killjoy wrote:I guess we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one.For if Michael had given Maria a 'mild clip to the back of the head' there would be numerous people screaming abuse....on the show and the fans.I don't think there is any reason for you to hit anyone you are in a relationship with......no matter if you are the man or the WOMAN in said relationship.


I have to agree with killjoy here. There are a lot of women out there who punch their boyfriends and smack them upside the head and it's considered okay because they are women. But if guys went around doing that, women wouldn't be so casual about it. They'd be shouting abuse from the rooftops--including me, I must admit. :lol: This just one of the many things, though, that people find acceptable when it's a woman and not okay when It's a man. It's always kind of bugged me, but what are you going to do?


Okay, not trying to come off as some macho head or anything, but I find the entire argument of a woman hitting a man vs. a man hitting a woman really silly.

Yes. there is a double standard. Big whoop. There are a lot of them in the world. And to be honest, a man smacking a woman upside the head would probably be a lot harder than a woman hitting a man. Men's bones are bigger, and they have more muscle. So even if he did it without actually having the intention of hurting her, it would still be harder. Secondly, men hit each other all the time, and for lots of different reasons. Most of the time in sport. I've hit some of my guy friends a hell of a lot harder just fucking around than Maria hit Michael in actual anger. And I personally don't know any man who would cry abuse if his girl did hit him that way.

I have four sisters. Three of which are older than me. Needless to say they hit me all the time. And probably about just as hard as Maria hit Michael. Even with my own wife, we "play fight". And she'll hit, kick, and shove me for a reason as simple as trying to gain my attention. Neither one of us considers this abusive. I really think there is a 110% difference between hitting your spouse the way Maria did Michael, and actually physically "abusing" them.

Yeah. A man should never hit a woman, and he shouldn't let a woman beat on him to her heart's content. But that's not what happened here. And in the context and fashion of which the hitting was portrayed, I really don't think it's a big deal.

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Re: Was Michael Abusive?

Postby monique_katie » Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:58 am

Crystalbehr wrote:I was listening to Majandra and Shiri talk on the commnetary for Crazy. and They went on and on about how they though Brendan's character was abusive to Majandra's. They also said how Michael and Maria's relationship was a bad influence on young teenage girls. I dunno I didn't see it that way. What do you all think?


I think that looking back on it now, ten years on, their relationship is probably the realistic of all the ones on the show. I always felt that Max and Liz's relationship was always so fairytale-ish. I mean, they had their share of problems don't get me wrong but they always kinda made their way back to each other really easily. Where as Michael and Maria's relationship just seemed to have all those little problem that you do have in relationships. They were both insanely stubborn and passionate which always led them to have disagreements or fights and alot of the time it took a bit of time to get over them and they really had to work through most of them (with some grovelling from Michael sometimes.)
And it also really showed that relationships are perfect and most times the other person isn't Prince Charming but at the end of the day it works because you love each other.

I think there's definitely bits that could be perceived as being a bit of a bad influence but hell that's part of being a teenager and for the most part they showed that more unconventional side to relationships that's wasnt really showed in movies or TV.

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Re: Was Michael Abusive?

Postby secretk » Mon Nov 21, 2011 12:29 pm

Wow, that's an interesting question and yet simple to me :lol: - no Michael wasn't abusive.

First, I want to clarify what I see and understand as abuse. I think that mostly we have physical abuse, verbal abuse and sexual abuse. Michael didn't hurt physically Maria, so I can rule out physical abuse. I don't think that he took advantage of her, because whenever they had make out session, it was because they both want it. That leaves us with verbal abuse. Now, verbal abuse is not about offending someone. It's more like manipulate someone, trying to make them feel insecure and trap them in your abuse. Michael has never done this. He might've acted like jerk sometimes, but he has never tried to be someone else. Maria knew from the very beginning what was he and she was never pressured by him. So no, Michael wasn't abusive.

Now, although I'm Dreamer and Candy, I don't mind Season 3 or Max/Tess story, because that's the real life you know. All of them made mistakes and hurt each other and in the end realized that they love each other.

Maria left Roswell because of Michael. She had her chance to follow her dreams and I don't blame her for wanting that. She might have been a bit harsh, but Michael wasn't always considerable either. If she hasn't done this, she would feel sorry about this and she would have accused him some day that he stopped her from following her dreams.

You know my signature has something to do about this. It says : "They say that if you love someone and set them free and they come back to you, then they're yours". Probably, sounds cheesy to you, but to me that happened to Candy and Dreamers. They had their share of mistakes, they had their chances to walk away, they even did it, but in the end they realize that they are better when they are together. I'm not saying that they are happy all the time. That doesn't exist. But they did know that are better together.

Michael and Maria were really explosive, but I don't think that they were that different. They were different than Max and Liz, granted, but then to me Max was Michael's best friend and Liz was Maria's one. So yeah, they do have similarities. They both were raised by a single parent. Michael was abused at home and while Amy was a cool mother, I've always felt that Maria was tortured because her father had abandoned her. Maria and Michael were loyal friends and they weren't afraid to speak up their mind. In fact I don't think that girl like Liz would be good for Michael, because guy like him needs challenge, someone that won't just sit and take all his crap. Maria was the one that taught him that he can trust people. She found a way to break his wall and that's because she was pushy and stubborn enough to not surrender.

As for the bad/good example for teens. When I watched Roswell for first time, I was 22 years, so I can't tell that I was a teen. I started watching it, because I wanted to fix my sci-fi fiction. What made me to keep watching wasn't the alien stuff, but the relationship they built (mostly in season 1, season 2 and 3 were a lot worse than the first one if I have to be honest). Although Michael and Max were aliens, they were typical humans, when we're talking about their relationships. To me all love stories in the show were real, different, but realistic.


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